Newspaper Page Text
THJE ARGUS. MONDAY, JUNE 1, 1891.
' U 4
ruollabed Daily and Weekly at IffiM Second At.
enue, Kotlc Inland, ill.
J. W. Potter,
Tanxa Dally, 60c per month; Weekly, 8S.0O
,1111 11 111 p
All communication of a critical or artrnmenta
tlve character, political or reliaioue. mnt have
real name attached for pnblication. No such artl
ucies win oe piloted over fictitious siirnatures
Anonymoas communications not noticed.
Correspondence solicited from every township
In Rock Inland county.
Moxdat, Mat 1, 1881.
Ax Erie, (Pa.) man wants a divorce
because bis wife smokes.
The republican Cedar Rapids Gazette
says: "A billy goat could eat all the tin
plate made in the United States, and still
HON. JOHN J AMES 1NGA.LL8 was ODCe
almost persuaded to abjure his Brahmin
ism, but he is now stealthily picking out
of his hair the hayseed and ashes he
scattered on his head in token of humilia
tion and repentance.
If the best possible facilities for rapid
transit make a great city, Rock Island's
growth from this on ought to surpass the
most sangune expectations of that class
of our cit:'z;ns who have always had con
fldence in the future of the city and who
have found abundant encouragement in
the past two years.
Madame Blavatsky. the advanced
tbeosophist, appears to have been cut off
by the fatal habit of smoking cigarettes.
According to her followers she was pos
sessed of supernatural powers. Her soul
could leave the body for a trip to the stars
and planets and reenter it at its pleasure.
If theosopbists are correct she might haye
lived forever. But in spite of these mar
elous Rifts cigarettes were, too much for
her and she died at the early age of 60.
Her death ought to be a warning.
Hancock County fUot: The farmer
who has the good, judgment to know what
most needs to be done each day and the
capacity to so arrange acd order his work
that he can do everything at just the right
time, has qualities which will go far to
ward helping him achieve success. There
can be no doubt that many farmers fail
not only to -profit, but also of findiDg
pleasure and comfort in their work, be
cause they have not cultivated their
judgment, and are most cf the time work
ing at a disadvantage.
The following from the Des Moints
Leader is correctly and truly stated; it
deserves to be stereotyped and kept in
every newspaper of the land day after
day and week after week.
The democratic party is today the only
real party of the people. It has no pol
icy to push except the relief of the peo
pie. Its members are the people, and
they formulate its doctrines. It has ia it
no class seeking special privileges, and it
is against class legislation. Ic believes
that the great remedies for the people lie
along the line of repeal of evil legislation,
rather than in a demand for more law.
When the class legislation Of the repub
lican party is repealed, the burdens which
oppress the people will be lifted.
A MlgniflraDt loninlOD.
The following from Frank Leslie's
Illustrated Newspaper owned and edited
by W. J. Akrell and Russell B. Harrison
is significant as revealing wilhwhat polit
ical feeling the president views the recent
removal of Governor Boyd from the
gubernatorial chair of Nebraska by the
supreme court of that state:
The displacement, through a legal ttch
icauty, ol the democratic governor of
.Nebraska, Air. Bojd. from the high
office to which he wa9 fairly elected, is a
mistake of the gravest character. .It must
result in lasting injury to the republican
party in that state, and in the nation, un
less the mistake is promptly, and com
pletely rectified. The iesult of Giv.
Boyd's displacement is to place the Guber
natorial office in the hands of a republi
can, though a democrat was elected by a
fair and honest election, and a clear an4
Whether or not the republican party in
Nebraska will be he!d responsible lor
csrrying the matter of Governor Boyd s
citizensnip into ttie courts is not the
question. Peop'e will simply regard bis
removal after he bad been elected as the
result of a political conspiracy, and
public opinion is intolerant of any "trifling
with the results of honest elections after
such results have been acknowledged,
declared and accepted.
The republican press his been out
spoken in opposition to several unjust,
unfair and preposterous gerrymander of
a number of states in the east and west
to secure and perpetuate democratic
legislatures and to secure the control of
a majority of congressional districts for
the democratic party. Public opinion
has not Justified these gerrymanders, and
will not sustain tbem wten the test is
made by an appeal to the voters of the
respective states next fall.
The American loves nothing better
than fair play and bones'y in and out of
politicB, and the honest thing for all par
ties is to accept the result of every elec
tion at which the votes are fairly received
and honestlj counted as the end and fin
ality of the matter.
In Nebraska the possession of the gu
bernatorial office by a republican for a
year or two will be or no advantage, tem
porary ar permanent, to the prty, if it
involves a ta nt upon its honor.
We are sorry that Gov. Bojd was dis
placed. For a troublesome coogb there is notb
lag better than Chamberlain's Cough
Remedy. It strengthens the pulmonary
organs, allays any iiritation and effec
tually cures tbe cougb. It is especially
valuable for the cough which so often
follows an attaok of the grip. For sale
by Hariz & Bahnsen, druggists.
TsYE STILL "ONG ROOT."
A FEW THINGS HE NOTICED AS
HE WENT ALONG.
Obstacles Which the Lertnrer Occasion
ally Meet. Look Out for the Quire
Man A Texas Train Romance and the
Song; of a Grieco-Roman Irishniau.
ICopjTisht, 1SP1, by Edjrar W. Nye.l
Southern Missouri is one of the ma t
prosperous sections of the United States.
1 must freely admit that I did not know
it. It is a region built np almost entire
ly since the war, and therefore is pec
pled by a thrifty and cosmopolitan peo
ple who are not content to live npon
their reminiscences and relatives. With
a two story soil bearing untold wealth
ia grains and fruits at the surface, an.l
beneath stored with lead and zinc for
the whole world, it is not surprising that
this section suiiles at the pinching pov
erty and the short commons of other
GETTING INTO THE HALL.
Joplin is a thrifty town in the midst
of this fruit, grain .ind mineral belt It
is a good town, but the hall where we
obliged" was not a verypleas.mt one in
some respects. It was a partially re
formed rink, with an overshot sta?e en
trance. We entered by means of a' little
side door, about eight feet above the
6treet grade, in a burglarious way. 1
stood on .Mr. Burbank's shoulders, and
after sawing off the bolt of the door we
managed to break in. Anvbody who
can get into the stage entrance of a
theater will srenerallv have very little
trouble in getting into most any secret
Carthace is a very handsome and
thrifty town, with almost every indus
try contributing to it, from the seden
tary methods of airriculrnre to the
healthful toil of life insurance. The
rock ribbed earth is filled with marble
and beautiful building stone to which
there seems to be no limit. The quarries
are not even able to fill their orders for
St. Louis alone, and every farmer has a
zinc or lead mine back of his barn. 1
have been told that half the lead and
more than half the zinc ournut of the
United States comes from this recion,
and yet above it all the earth is rich in
waving grain, the sky sheds health and
rigor, the climate is cooler in summer
than Minnesota, and in winter warmer
than many southern localities. This
opinion is given without hope of stock
in a zinc mine or a choice corner near
the postofhee at Carthage. Carthage is
the most versatile town 1 have seen for
many a day. I also showed there. The
popcorn privilege was sold at this point
for a good price, and when the lecture
was over the floor was white with this
cheering but non-inebriating vegetable.
It was also at this place that we had the
singular stage escape, which consisted of
a scuttle hole at the back of the dais.
One had to bow pleasantly to the audi
ence, dodge a rafter over the door, and
scoot down a chute behind the American
flag, which served a3 a dressing room.
If you have never tried to look pleasant
at an audience while yon had a lamp on
the hack ot your head as big as the
bump of self esteem on the brow of a
bantam, you cannot well understand the
effort required at such a time in order
Yesterday I met a thrifty traveling
man witn a silver trimmed sample case.
J thought 1 had seen him before, and so
i had. He spoke to me. "Yes." he said,
"you and I met in Cleveland last month."
1 remembered it then. 1 was sitting in
the reading room of the Weddell House,
and this man was there. He was writ
ing a letter. Finally he raised his head
and 6aid, "How do you spell choir a
1 knocked the ashes from my fragrant
cigar and said, "C-h-o-i-r."
"Thanlis." he said; but is it not also
"OU, no Von are thinking of a quire
of pa;t-r." I smd, as 1 wiped my nice
new high hat with my elbow.
"Possibly; but, you know, I had the
idea in ray blame fool head that q-n-i-r-e
was also correct for chnrcb choir. Are
you sure that fj-u-i-r-e is not admissible
for church choir?"
"Oh, yes, sir," I said, as I wrote a few
autographs for a delegation waiting in
the anteroom. "1 wonld stake my ex
istence on it."
"Well, sir, I am probably wrong, but
I am headstrong, and 1 don't mind
losing twenty dollars fcr I am a Stand
ard Od man just to find out, and we
will leave it to Webster."
"All right." said 1, wishing to buy a
spring overcoat, of which 1 was greatly
in need, "twenty dollars goes." 1 did
not notice the grammatical construc
tion, however, at the time.
We got a Webster, and then I 6aw
what I had not saw before that "quire"
was correct. I wish that 1 could sell the
knowledge 1 have got for what it has
cost ma I would take much needed
Test in Europe for eighty-five years, and
live well all the time. t
Well, this man is now in the business
he told me. He has quit the road and
gone into this orthography business,
which nets him fifty dollars per day,
with the aid of a young man who helps
him 6tart the argument. At least it did
net him fifty dollars per day. Possibly
after this ad. ia published he may not
do so well. His idea, however, was,
when I saw him, to make about $50,000
in three years, and then live in a large
feudaMime kiln on" the Rhine.
At Dallas a traveling man the other
day almost broke up the hotel where I
stopped. He secured a raw potato as he
passed by a grocery store, and when he
got his dinner order he concealed his
baked potato in his pocket and substi
tuted the raw one.
"What kind of a place is this?" he
asked, as he called the head waiter unto
him. "Do yon think I am a Texas steer
that you feed me on raw potatoes? Are
you going to give me cut feed for des
sert?" The head waiter was entirely non
plussed. He went to the waiter and
roasted him at a terrible rate. People all
over the dining room got interested. It
threatened to break np the house. The
proprietor came in. Business was para
lyzed. Fresh , roasted peanuts went up
three points. Then it was explained, and
peace returned to the cuisine and the
breast of the waiter. I do not think that
a man should do that way. It hurts the
public confidence and shakes our faith
Yesterday several acquaintances met
in.my room, and one of them, a Lotos
clnb man, desired to extend the hospi
talities of my room. So he rang the bell.
and a good looking leil boy with light
hair and dark eyes, with handsome dark
brows and a sad expression, came to an
swer the call.
"Did yon ring?" he asked in a low.
"Yes. 1 did." said the visitor. "Now
fly around, Johnny, and ask the gentle
men what they will have." .
"All right," said the pensive lad, as he
put a little of my Edenia on his hand
kerchief. M will ask them what they'll
lave, but 1 don't propose to pay for it.
1 want it understood that I act merely
as yonr agent in the matter."
Sometimes these bell boys are quite
bright that way x ,
This letter is peculiarly rambling, and
so I venture to reftr here to a singular
circumstance which I witnessed in the J
cars last week. An elderlv man rrot on
at Jasper. He was going to Archy. The
.ess people travel the more thevare over
come and horrified with a short journey
r row the f uss made over it you would
aave thought that this man was joins to
the Holy Land to visit the home of some
( f the broad humorists of the Old Tesu-
tneut. He stood in the door ar.d kissed
iiine grown up women in an explosive
way and said goodby to them with
teal tears in his eyes. He was a kind
t Id man. with a faded place on the back
cf his neck where his long hair had
shaded it all winter, but where the bar
ter had been at work and fized him
He was all excited with the prospect.
aaJ after he had kissed quite a large
delegation of his neighbors he came in
with his black enameled valise, contain
ii g his other vest and some doughnuts,
and as the train started up he gave a
Ir rch and sat down in the lap of a mid
die aged lady who was holding a little
bracket made of a cigar box with a jack
knife. It took six long months in the
uncertain light of thi penitentiary for
htr son to make this for his widowed
tnnher, and when he was executed a
fortnight ago he left it with many a bit
ter tear upon it, for her
The venerable widower crushed it
when he fell, and a mourn came up from
the sore heart of the boy's lonely mother.
Qtite a number of thoughtless people
lat.ghed when they heard the little
brncket go by the board, but they would
not if they had known its sorrowful his
tory. The farmer apologized over and over
agi.in. and his tenderness made the
witiow weep a little more till she had to
tell him the sad story, and then she
showed him a paper. He wiped off his
epe:s eight times before he got through
wit a it Then he bought the widow a
big red apple, and when the brakeman
howled "Archy!" he did not get out, but
wet t past with the widow toward her
hon.e. Possibly in the Indian summer
of her life she will bless the day when
the gentle hearted amateur traveler sat
down on the poor little bracket, and he
alrfo will cease to regret it. Quien Sale
as the feller says.
T2E ALDERMAN READ HIS POEM.
Sot long ago I met a wealthy ex
aldenaan of New York in Colorado. He
was c f Celtic extraction, but American
nu-inrt Ho was traveling for his
Highest of all in Leavening Power.
health in the fastnesses of the grand old
Rocky mountains. He had made a fort
une in the beautiful city of Denver by
simply buying lots when other people
felt like selling, and selling while the
others were feeling like buying.
We were soon pretty good friends. He
said that his greatest grief came to him
now because with all his money he
hadn't the keen zest for enjoying it that
he had in the blessed old days when he
had an appetite and no money. "Now,"
said he, "1 hate the money and no appe
tite, I almost cry m the night for the
smell of the sod and the spring rain on
the dusty road. I hate the smell of
Broadway and the street sweepers, and
the recollection of bad sewerage and the
Van Twillers. who knew mighty little of
good sanitary arrangements. In fact, be
Gob," says he, "I can't be a successful
aristocrat I want to go back agin, me
boy, and belong wauce more to the Hoy
Polloy." Then he took from hi3 pocket
a soiled fragment of verse, which I will
give below, and which I call The Wail
cf a Graco-Iioman Irishman:
Oh, I'm weary of doing the proper thing;
I'm tired of doing as I am told:
I want to hear the buhlfrohg sing.
And smell the fresh, wet mold.
Oh, it's take me finger bowl away.
And make me wance more a boy.
With a son burned wedge down the 6ptne of
While I whoop with the HOI POLLOI.
Oh, me swatlytail hurts me under the arms.
And me patent leathers are hot and tight;
For Ixx Loo MaCallibter's lost his charms
And I m homesick and weary tonight.
I siph for the song of the katydid
When me heart was alive with Joy.
When I bathed me feet in the long, wet grass
And belonged to the HOI POLLOI.
I want to get shot of me manicure sett.
And dig in the dirt and the dew,
I want to eat onions, and then forget
All the whole world, me dartin'. but you.
I'll put me feet on the escretoire.
And let no scallops me soul annoy.
I want to forget the days, you bet.
Since we shook the HOI POLLOI.
III. Suspicion. Were Aroused.
"Filkins was in this morning," said
the clerk as the real estate man entered
"Did he make his usual payment?"
'He paid the interest on the mort
"Anything on the principal?"
"No; he let that go this time."
"Well," said the real estate man re
flectively, "he's a good man, and we can
afford to be easy with him as long as he
pays the interest promptly."
"Yes, sir, and he wants to get rid of
the entire mortgage, sir."
The real estate man turned sharply on
"He he wants to get rid of the entire
mortgage, sir. He said he was tired of
carrying it, and asked me to figure out
the entire amount of principal and in
terest and have it ready for him the next
time he called."
"Talked of paying off the whole thing
in a lump?"
"Write him a letter and tell him if he
lets the interest go over one day next
month we'll foreclose the mortgage.
He's getting ready to stand us cfl."
Something to Uoaxt Of.
Jimmy (proudly) My little sister's got
a new d A that talks.
Johnry (scornful! v) That's nothia'.
Mine's got the scarlet fever. Munsey9
Here is a good storv out of Mr.
Groome's article on Suffolk neoule in
Blackwood. It relates to Dr. Eelinan.
He was playing whist one evening with
a maiden lady for a partner. She trumped
his best card, and at the end of the hand
he asked her the reason why. "Oh, Dr.
Belman" (smilingly). "I judged it judi
"Judicious! judicious:: judicious"!
You old fool.'" She never again touched
Was it the 6ame maiden lady who
was the strong believer in home
opathy, and who one day took five
globules of aconite in mistake for three?
F tightened, 6he sent olf for her home
opathic adviser. He was from home.
So, for want of a better, she called in old
Dr. Belman. He came, looked grave,
shook his head, said if people would
meddle with drugs they must take the
consequences. "But, madam," he add
ed, "I will die with you;" and, lifting
the bottle of the fatal globules, swal
lowed its whole contents. Np cr York
U. S. Gov't Report, Aug. 17, 18S9.
J. B. ZIMMER,
THE WELL KNOWN
Star Block, Opposite Hakper iJcusE.
ha pnrckafed for the
Spring and Summer of 1891,
U . a . . ,
" "Etr.uo on" nop, imp evr. Ttiee
H. SIEMOIVT & SON,
toves and Tinware,
IPTTIMIIFS, IrAILS, &G,
Baxter Banner Cooking and Heating Stoves and the Geneseo Cooking Stoves
Tin, Copper and Sheet Iron Work.
qwmTr a yp... hock island, ill.
Calf Goodyear Welt Shoes?
The host MoL'e fioi'Shoe ia the cityf.ir the iirice.
STABY, BERGER & SNELL,
Seron-I spd Harriscu Sis D-ver,rrrt.
J". ILVE. OHBISTY,
Steam Cracker Bakery,
A5TJ7ACTTJHZB 0? C5ACSZ38 AHD BI3CTJITI.
Ask your Grocer for them. Xhey are test.
W8pelltit Tbe Ckrfety "0T9TXB" acd the Cbrtety "WATEB."
ROCK ISLAM). ILL
SEIVERS & ANDERSON,
Contractors and Builders,
ALL KINDS 01 CARPENTER WORK DONE.
tW-aeneral Jobtlnj done oa iiort notice ni iitt action rnaranteed.
Office and Shop H13 Fourth Avenue. ROCK ISLAXD ILL.
Successor to Adamson & Ruick,
MMh- PRACTICAL 1
Rock Island, 111.
Shop Nineteenth St., bet. First and Second AveDue,
GenralJobbing and Repairing promptly done.
tjgSfcond Hand Machinery bought, sold and repaired.
Agency for Excelsior
Cheaper than Shingles.
Send for circular. Telephone
GEORGE SCHAFER, Proprietor.
1001 Second Avenue. Corner of eixteetth Stree . Opposite Harper's Theatre.
The choicest Wines, Liquors, Beer and Cigars always on Hand
rhKveryPav - S8Bdrhe. Fnrr.1.,, nn short Not..
B. F. DeGEAR,
Contractor and Builder,
Office acd ticop Comer SeTenteenth 8t n i t i i
sad Seventh Arenue, : K.OCk Island.
UTXM air-r. of carpenter work srecla.ty Plan, and e.timate. for all kind, of bnildinr.
ST. JAMES HOTEL,
Comer Twenty-third .treet and Fonrtharenne.
J. T. RYAN,
Thiafaon,eh.,i0.t been ren,tej 1,1 ,rongt job, and
vl 'Ki P-r day hone prt
Manufacturer of all klcda of -
BOOTS AND SHOES-
Gent' Fine Shoea a t?ecialty . Hepairing done neatly and promptly .
A abare of y our patronaga retpactfuUy solicited.
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER,
Shop corner Twenty-Second Mreet and Ninth avenue. Kealdence 25
ET-Ia prepared to make eetimatoa and do all kinds of earpenter work. Givelhim a trial.
ioo,1b will arrive In afewdaj i. Wait an4..e
t. II. ELLIS. Rock Island. 111.
1038. Cor. Fourteenth St- and Second Ave
.... EOCK ISLAND, ILL.
I, now In A No. 1 condition. It Is a Int-clat.
demrable family hotel.
1818 Second Avenue. Rok Island. Ill