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G THE AUGUS; ; THURSDAY NOVEMBER 5.il8flU;i.L... 1
" ; t
Low prices always tell the story when quality is
not sacrificed. I can sell you better
Furniture, Carpets, Stoves, Etc.,
For less money than anyone in the Tri-cities, and
give you credit at no extra charge. My stock
consists principally of:
Lounges and couches,
Side boards and cupboards,
Extension and parlor tables,
Cane and wood seat chairs, .
Carpets, rugs and curtains,
Oil cloths and shades,
Mattresses and bedd'ng,
And many other HOUSE FURNISHINGS.
Cash or Credit; No Extra Charge.
CHAS. A. MECK,
322 Brady Street, Davenport, la.
Open ev.ry evening until 8:00 o'clock, and Saturday'. nntU 10:00 p.
AGENCY FOR THE
STEAM and HOT WATER
Office and 8bop 219 Eighteenth Street. Telephone 11
CHAS. W. YERBURY, Manaeer.
Rock Island, 111.
J. B. ZIMMER,
-THE WILL KNOWN-
Stab Block, Oppositb Haepke House.
ha. purchased for the
Fall and Winter of 1891-2,
A large rand finer stock than evr. These (rood, will arrive in a few day. Walt and kc them.
Telephone 1098. 231 Twentieth street.
J. T. O'CONNOR, Proprietor.
No. 117 Eighteenth Street"
Thil new Sample Room ia now open for Bniinen. The beat of Wine.. Lienors and Ine
Imported Cigar, always on hand.
v. $2.50 Per Gallon.
KOHN & ADLER,
Removed to 219 Seventeenth Street
rmrmnnn ncemncni" Nerve seeds.
II El 111 El II I II II I SI 1 1 T I I the vcnnderful rcmertv
- ww-w - wa-an.v ltn wrlti
tea nrnt.e to care all nervous Mea. .ncn aa Wrak Mrmory,
Luxor Brain Power, Headache. Waefuln,loit Manhood. NiKhtlT Emit
.ions, Nervousne!.. Latitude, all drain, and loa of power of the Generative
Omn. In either .ex eanaerl by over exertion, v mthful rror. or fMMiv
X oiteof tohacco, opium or stimulant, which soon lead to lriarmitv. Consume
' turn and Insanity. Put up convenient to carry In vest pocket, 1 per pk-
I avo hv niHll: ft ftir KL With evftrrinntflrwe oiriawrtitM miffranfiv to nM
iwimiiniii. or rcuiui Ike money, circular iree. Auraa ackv. lee. u., cucatoa Ufa
For tale in Rock island by Hartz & Bahnsen, 81 Ave. und 20th street
BY ALEX .
TheUreat TVxaa Diplomatist Impart
Ntne flkage Advice Abo at Thanks,
artvlnc He Hnms l"p Oar Bteanlngs
IrntlaaT the Past Tear Snort and
Harrison Edit the Proclamation.
White House. Oct. 18. 1891.
To Mr jor Dan McGary, Houston, Tex.:
My Dear Major: The Thanksgiving
turkey is rapidly approaching with heal
ing in his wings sod stuffing under his
shirt bosom. Ia the language of the
Thank.gt'ing day now draweth nigh.
Come in the tweet by and high.
When for turkey, children crigh,
' And their tears will only drlgh,
At the thoahl of chicken frigh.
Or the juicy oyster pign.
They eat o math yon say. Oh, migh.
When we say so they wonder wigh.
Whatbave we to be thankful for? Much.
To begin with, the great Italian tenor,
Signor Doboni (his real name is Dobs),
swallowed a toothpick which gat tangled
up with the timbre of bis orgau, so that
he has left the stage; and Herr Geigen
heimer, the dislioguisbed German violin
ist, has so seriously injured the hand with
which he sinned most that he may never
be able egaia to draw the bow. There is
more than a dollar's wonh of thanks in
these incidents alone. Hallelujth! En
core! Encore 1
Tom Reed's boom has sunk into a
noiseless echo, Foraker has declined the
presidency, and the tame but hungry
bear of our itinerant Italian recently de
voured the lower half of bis mister's
body, and then 'carefully bid away the
trunk and intellectual development for the
next day. The bear evidently believed in
the woman's motto: "Dish and deal, and
have a little at every meal." Auuther
75 cents worth of thanks.
Mr. James Brown Potter and Mrs.
Curly Belloo have betn out of this coun
try during the summer, being busily en
gaped in rr.aking the luckless people at
the antipodes realize that there Is still a
God in Israel who wreaketh vengeance.
We have also escaped tha hog cholera
and a threatened visit from Oicar Wilde.
Here is 50 cents worth tf thanks, if not
more. Once more, Hallelujibl Brave!
Thus far no Texts grand jury has in
dicted Ru$$ for swindling, and our wor
thy pos: master general still lick the
stamps at his bargain counter instead of
being in jtil along with Barrisley, of Key
stone bank fame. Then, again, the pic
nic season has waxed and waned, and
the lair of the ice cream fiend is draped
with the mourning weeds of woe; The
season is over when
Angnstu take, that girl of hi.'n
l own the sidewalk p ,.t the dreg store
urn- me poua itiuniain s nzzia ,
To the gaily frescoed parlor.
Fair as nymph or fairy dream, I
And it tai.es a dnllsr fifty
For to fill her full of cream. !
It's really too cool for ice cream'
Arise, young man, warble pic ins of
thanksgiving. Pound the hewgag and
sound the loud timbrel. The swindling
schemes of Fakir Raum, of refrigerator
fame, exposed by the press and like sum j
With chilly feet and drooping winga.
He bang, upon the window pane.
And hoarsely be his death sons airgs.
He bath a sort of window pain.
Poor fly, hi. bnzzlnessls o'er,
Alas ! hi. bum is in the dust;
His corpse will float ou lea no more.
Nor pas. for cloves in cake, 1 trust.
But in presenting the bright side of the
picture. I must admit that there are a few
The peanut crop has failed. Edwin Ar
nold has begun his impending lecture
tour and la grippe is expected to arrive
by the next steamer. Deduct 40 cents'
worth of gratitude, and send the office
boy out a dime, or 10 cents' worth of
sackcloth and ashes.
While Boulanger and Balmaceda have
considerately made way with themselves.
ueeorge Francis Tram still continues to
cause the stomachs of the readers of the
New York papers to heave with his je
june babblements and assiuine ex pec tor
auons.ana noooay has as yet tied a string
uguuy arouna me necK oi mis wonderful
vibratory oscillating gab slinger. He
still lingers, an impressive monument of
the negligence or good nature of the fool
killer. Knock on a dollar's
worth of thanks, choke down
the moist, rising sob, and hope for the
best during the coming year.
A few days ago Ru$' male parent
wrote out. with my assistance, the thrill
icg star z is of bis gastronomic! procla
mation. The cocdemned turkey will
never hope for a reprieve, and the yellow
legged chicken will shrink before the
baleful glances of the presiding elder and
otner members oi the committee on
stomachic upholstering and interior dec
I regret that Harrison 'remarked bitter
ly that he didn't have any cause to give
"Mr. President," said L "let me relate
an antidote: Bald an irate parent to his
son one mor-ing at the breakfast table.
'what are you grinning at, jou bald'
faced monkey T
' 'I'm tickled, said the hilarious youth.
"'Tickled! What tickles jou so infer
nallyt giowled the father.
' 'Piease. replied the boy. 'I'm tickled
because I am alive.
Harrison sighed heavily, and stabbed a
dark, cancerous looking inkstand with
"Mr. President," said I, putting my
feet on the table, "let us accept the ap
proach of Thanksgiving in a spirit of
wise and philosophical contentment. Let
us take it for what it is worth, and never
look a gift Thanksgiving turkey in the
mouth. B'uff the turkey, chop the salad,
and kill tne fatted goose, spice the oya
ters, stir the batter, and beat the loud
bassoon! Thanksgiving will soon be
among us, and we should all be individ
ually among thanksgiving. Let each of
us give heartfelt thanks for not being a
tnfla worse off than be is. When Thanks
giving comes around let the defeated can
didate, who prefers growling to thanks
giving and refulgence rt fleet that the day
was not set apart for his especial benefit,
and that the other fellow who was elected
is wearing a grin that makes the top of
his head look like an island. There are
some things, Mr. President, we should not
do Thanksgiving day. We should not
get drunk, and we should also remember
that we should not sneeze at the dinner
t&blc, or pour gravy down the . back of
the bald man's neck.
"Col. Snort," said Harrison, impres
eively. "I verily believe that Cleveland
will be nominated by the democrats."
"Mr President, the outlook ia not so
dark, after all. The election does not
come off for more than a year, and by
that time all this fuss about infant Indus
tries will have died out and you will meet
Cleveland on an even footing."
All of a sudden the president, who had
a calendar in bis hand, bounded to bis
feet as if a shawl -pin had been immersed
in his person. His eyes rolled in his
head, then he sank back in his chair with
a groan .
"What's the matter?' I asked.
"In a year from now," he howled in a
loud tone of voice, "the Cleveland's may
have another baby, Tbey my even have
twins, both boys, and then what chance
would I bave with the voters?"
"I wouldn't worry about that, Mr. Pres
ident; lightning does not strike twice in
the same place," I replied.
"That's where you are off. Col. Snort.
It iloe that very thing. The democrats
are capable of doing anything to defeat
the republican party. We must be pre
pared for the worst."
"In that ciee, Mr. President, as I said
before, what this adminis'ration needs is
The president leaned his head on the
desk, and grief, like a cyclone, tos ed him
about like a paper collar on the bosom of
a boiling torrent.
"This is worse than death," he moaned.
"This means going back to Indiana."
"You agree with me that twins in the
Wh'te House are Indispensable to success
"Yes, Col. Snort, theoretically you are
"Do you agree with me that the next
vice president of the United Slates should
be a southern mm?''
"It would be no more than right, Cul
Snorl; and, moreover, I think Harrison
and Snort would sweep the country like'
a prairie on fire, provided, of course,
Cleveland were foiled."
"Leave that to ma. Mr. Presided; I
will wed Miss Micerya Beaconhill, of
"'Saved! saved!" exslaimed Harrison
' Colonel, what would I do without you?
Ht ! he! hel This is a good j )ke on the
"I'll go over to Boston next week and
see Minerva "
"Don't fool away time. Delays are
daxgerous. You will bring your wife
right here to the White House. I'll have
the blue room fixed up as a bridal cham
ber," said Harrison, rubbing his hands.
My dear Dan, I leave in half an hour
on a special train. When I write again
Texas and Massachusetts will be uniltd.
for Col. Bill Snort, of Texas, will have
been united in the holy bonds of matii-
irony to Miss Minervia Beaconhill, of
Bjston. Mas. No cards.
A Tonthful. lovinc. molest pair.
In each other's arms breathe oat ' be tendpr talc.
Beneath the milk-white thorn that .cent, t c eve
ning gale. Buns.
Yours for reform.
Oysters at Krell & Math's.
You can recommend Kreli & Math to
anybody, as they have the best oysters
and know how best to serve them.
Remember the cold weather does not
affect the ice cream business a particle.
You can get a dish, brick, melon, pyramid
or individual ice cream at any time, no
matter how cold the weather is, at Krell
B. Birkenfeld offers tor sale his entire
stock of books, stationery, confectionery
and toys, ice cream parlors and fixtures
complete. Also his property for sale or
rent for any number of years to suit
State of Ohio, Cm or Toledo, I
Lucas County. 4
Frank J. Cheney makes oath that he is
the senior partner of the firm of F. J.
Cheney & Co, doing business in the city
of Toledo, county and state aforesaid, and
that said firm will pay the sum of one
hundred dollars for each and every esse
of catarrh that cannot be cured by the
use of Hall's Catarrh Cure.
Frank J. Ceenet.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in
my presence, this 6th day of December,
A. D 1886.
A. W. G LEA SON,
seal Notary Public.
Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken interually
and acts directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system. Send
for testimonials, free.
F. J. Cheney & Co., Props., Toledo, 0.
Sold by druggists, 75c.
Byrap pf Fig a.
Produced from the laxative and nutri
tious juice of California figs, combined
with the medical virtues of plants known
to oe most beneficial to the human sjs
tern, acts gently, on the kidneys, liver
ana Dowels, effectually cleansing the.
system, dispelling colds and headaches,
and curing habitual constipation.
Stanlev aa an exnlnrar ' RMonn aa an
inventor. Miss Flora A. Jones as the
discoverer of the famous Blush of Roses
for the complexion: are tha nam pa that
will be handed down as benef actors of
the race, to all recorded time. T. H.
Thomas comes in for his share (of the
pronis; as ne always keeps a big supply
on hand, and sells it for 75 cents per bot
William Eilleb. the croenr. has rmn.
ed from Fourth avenue and Twentieth
street to his new store. No. Si)5 Tm
tietb street, where he will be pleased to
see an his old customers. Call or tele'
phone 1.118. . William Ebijb.
Hone to Water Conansurs.
Parties Wishine to have the wator ..in
ply 6hut off duriog the winter season will
please leave notice at the city clera's
office before Nov. 10. No charges will
uc uiaue. ROBERT JVOEHLKR,
Collector of Water Rent,
California farm Fradncti.
Cost of production: Net profits: given
by a thousand farmers. Also hundreds
of questions answered about California.
Sent free on application to A. Phillips &
Co , 105 Clark street, Cnic.go, Til., or
296 Washington street, Boston. Mhrs.
GOLD HBDAL, PASIS, 1373.
W. Baker & Co.'s
from which the excess of
oil hat been removed, is
and it is Soluble.
are used in its preparation. It has
mors than three times the ttrmgth of
Cocoa mixed with Starch, Arrowroot
or Sugar, and is therefore far more
economical, costing lees than one cent
a cup. It is delicious, nourishing,
strengthening, easily digested,
and admirably adapted for invalids
as well as for persons in health.
Sold by Crocers everywhere.
W. BAKER & CO., Dorchester. Mass.
-22lAva, , , 1
jur tiur .
ATTORNEY'S iT Lf
Physician . JcT B"
Office er s; t,rv,?,SU
. leUphoi t No. is,, ' -
vv ULi r &!
A complete stock
of Pipe, Brass Goods,
Packing, Hose, Fire
Sole Agents for
USED BY MEN. WOMEN aim CHILDREN.
A SHINE LASTS A WEEK.
A Handsome Polish.
20C. A BOTTLE.
1 cent a foot
will pay for changing the ap
pearance of old Furniture to
completely thatit will look like new.
IS THE W NAME
OF THE PAINT THAT DOES IT.
DRS, BICKEL St SCHQEIU?
MitcheL & Lynde's Block. Hoof,,
E. M. PEAECE,
Boom 33 In Mitchell 4 Lrndf !MW v
Express and ilovin
All ordtre promptly sttpr.didto. fL
jyLenve order- at H. TriMiK t. J
ehoD on M arket imir. l,,tl
(MPajvEo- yr.v-titrc-Hic hit mi sstnti
rki.MNU TTjl jimM V. Hi'- Vr 1
fioac. I nr l iH-rnl. :Am-. r i :.!;'
InX. rnajtinniu I nrv-rni " i "'. r- r -
PARTS, r. -i.t v; . r lit ti l I! arri ;(...i;;
K'rrlrir turrmt IVtl -r ''a
iiffl-T smit "Mt! ..-' i',..rMrtr i'.t. n.A .ft.
I API"" ".art
I. . ar-el
I, hn W
I for, ok
j bis ban
DAVIS 8l CO.,
We guarantee every tns per'eet, and will send Cars Twen'y Dy' tri', to Mpocr.b
par Jea. SaTcty Heating Boilers and Con ractor. for f arn string and
laying Water and Sewer Pit.
DAVIS BLOCK, MoUne, 111.
1712 First Ave., Rock Island. I
Residence Telephone 1 00.
The Art Garland . . .
Is the leading hard coal stove of the world. It
has stood the test.of time, and has proven itself
to be the Prince of Base Burners. If you are in
need of a hard coal stove, it will pay you to call
and examine the merits of the Art Garland; it is
sold with a positive guarantee that it has no equi
The Riverside Oak . . .
Is the best for soft coal.
It will not gas or smoke.
"It will keep fire all night.
It has a large ash pan.
It has heavy steel body.
It is guaranteed in every respect.
Gall and examine our immense line of Stove
161Bnd 1617 Second avenue, Rock Mand, W-