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THE AltGUS; THUKSDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 1891.
1 AM WILLING .
You should take advantage of the LOW PRICES
we are making on
Furniture, Carpets, Stoves, Etc.
Ingrain carpets from 35o a yard up.
Brussells carpets from 50o a ya rd up.
Genuine Smyrna rugs 80c and up.
Fine fur rugs very cheap.
Parlor Suits-Assortment Complete.'
Lounges and couches prices to suit.
A handsome durable platform rocker S3.QOT
Bedroom sets and bedsteadsa few more of those
bargains left. ;
Ladies desks, music cabinets and combination
cases cannot be equaled for price and quality.
Come and see what we have, and be convinced
of the money I can save you.
Cash or Credit; No Extra Charge.
CHAS. a. meck;
Telephone 421. 322 Brady Street, Davenport, la.
Open every evening until 8 :00 o'clock, an! Saturday', until 10:00 p. m.
AGENCY FOR THE
STEAM and HOT WATER
Office and Shop 218 Eighteenth Street. Telephone 11 '
CIlAo. W. YERBUHT, Manaeer.
Rock Island, 111.
J. B. ZIMMER,
-THE WELL KNOWN-
Stab Block, Opposite Harper House.
ha purchased for the
Fall and Winter of 1891-2,
A larger and aner stock than evsr. These goods will arrive In a few difa. Walt and see them.
Telephone 1098. . 23l Twentieth street.
B. F. THOMAS & CO.,
Elm Street Meat Market
.All kinds of Freeb and Salt Meats always on hind. Game,
Fish and Oysters In the seaeon.
Reynolds Block, Mouse Ave., FOOT OF ELM ST.
J. T. O'CONNOR, Proprietor. , . , . '
No. 117 Eighteenth Street
This new Bample Room Is now open for business. The best of Wlaes, Lienors and in
Imported Clears always ob hand. . "
ANDERSON COUNTY SOURMASH
$2.50 Per Gallon. '
KOHN & ADLEE,
Bemored to 219 Seventeenth Street '
' ; ; - MARK35T SQUARE.
agave. " imm b Area tut.
the wonderful remedy
ramte-' to cure, all nervowt dtoea.e. snob as Writ Memory.
lx.or Brain Power. Headache. Wakef nine, Lost Manhood. Kightlv Kmlc
sums. NervoniweM. Laiumude. all Hrnni and loea ot power of the (ienersutc
Organs in either aex caue-l hyover exertion, youtuful error, or excessive
1 tie of tobacco. opium or ttmulanM whk'b soon leas to Innrultv. Consunp
tton and Inunll;. Put up convenient to carry in v t pocket. VI per pact
' asebr mall: 6 for 15. wub every s order we etrra written awmtitW ro cure
or re una im ukv. circular line. Address acnt iseea 1 ., Cfcle
For sale ia Bock island by Harts & Bahnsen, 8d Are. and 20th street.
r-r rj&Y : '
- i . a Si - ri l
BY ALEX SWEET $iBUej
The Retcrs of Bon. James G Biuinr
To thb Dismay ok Harrison
Blaikb is in Good Health Bakri
son is the Sick Van Pome of the
Diseases With Which Blaine Was
Supposed to be Afflicted Bow
Col. c'nokt and Minerva are Get
ting Along, and Other Interesting
White Bouse. Oct. 26. 1891.
To Mai. Pan MrtVarr. nnnnron T .
My Dear bjajor Jiacbein was in bie
iuca. Alter ois rival was iataily knifed
In the primaries, nothing worse than his
ghost came back to worry the Thane of
If Macbeth had hail nnr .Tim ni.tn.
Ret rtd of he would have soon found out
wua irouoie realty was. Uompared
with Harrison, Macbeth bad a soft thing
of it. Of course, Mac was very much
annoyed at having a cross section of a
morgue on a busy day drop in about din
nor time and nnil hia annotito K,,r IJ.r-
rison's Banquo weighs 194 pounds. He
sits down at the table, and with the appe
tite of a patent cornsheller, he feeds liae
a hired man, and then lumping up, cracks
nis oeeis loeetner. ana wants to know if
there is any gentleman present who
ould like to wrestle for the presidential
pie. Thai's the kind a jibbering eoblin
tbat haunts the White Hnuse, and I don't
mind lellins you confldentialltr that ho
is rapid j becoming an eyesore to the en
tire preeioenuai larnuy. Harrison would
swap spectres with Macbeth anv day,
and throw in Ru$$ to boot. If Macbeth
htd had Jim DUine for u nreeirtnm ;.i
rival, he (Mac ) would have fed himself
to a dark cell In an Indiana nniitn.
which is what I am afraid Harrison will
have to do after 1392.
We were badlv fooled about th stat
of Blaine's health, but it was not our
fault. Did not a nrnminent 'g Vnrb
journal publish a war map of the seat of
T" i . : i . i . .
DiBine a gastric iron Dies, snowing bow be
wss suSerine from a misfit kid
plicated with febrilis acutus. which wss
liable at any time to turn into atrophia
medulla aninAlifi- nr vrh.t f&.
I , .... - " "VICT,
ibeumaticus paralyticus with epilepsia
tuorauca, wnicn always ends with peri
tonitis of the mucus memhranp achioh ia
always fatal sooner or later.
ri.Ai.Mt my colored friend, bring on
tbat lunch and no for more. Thi nhni.
Cil wreck is hungry.
But these were not toe only unfavora
ble fiTmntnrna that incnlrod na w th
. I - i-vj ..v us n.,u UViC
that Blaine was out of the presidential
race. We had everv reason to believe
ihtt the rear hrearlih nf hia li.., w .
to led up like a scroll, owing to cloasma
epbelis having set in. Moreover, the
lining oi me coat of bis stomach had be
come frayed at the cdcea bv icterns
senilis, and tbe suction valve of his
medulla nhlnncrafa havino iimnltnuMi,i.
suspended publication, his pbysician had
jjicBunucu pence i rest until alter tne
meetine of the reDublican natinnal rnn.
Is it &DT Wonder that thA nr.idfnl went
around crinnini? like a nnnr hnusf i.lint
wbile Wanamaker and the rest of the
friends of a second term silently pounded
tbe heweoz and founded the loud limhrrl
And now, just as Harrison wss getting
ready to hold up one end of the catafal
OUe he bounds inln tho arena woirifiir Ik.
ruddy hue and cry of health on his cheek,
buu au army ,z-.a cnip on U13 sooulder.
The presidential son is hit harder than
the rest of us. Tbis last trick of Blaine
has caused RufS to advert se for a new
brand of profanity with which to create
a ueauinui euipnurnc balo around bis
Knf has lied about Blaine's health
until he has got warts on bis imagination
from overwork. When BUine was sick
Ruf S diverted bis attention bv prodding
mm wun tne pole or borrowed ridicule.
hue the elder Harrison atnl from under
the sick man bis reciprocity blankets and
1 A l. cr . , ..
uBiuicu iiirui cu on tne puoiic as bts own.
Ru$$. who has been talking ahnnt
B'.aine being a wreck, was much sur
prised . He changed his tune as suddenly
as did a trombone player when a wasp
meandered merrily down the horn into
tbe artist's mouth and perforated, wiih a
sting that felt longer than a barber's pole,
his epiglottis until it looked like a porous
p aster. An instrumental Gloria in ex
celsis in B flu was suddenly changed into
a vocal wail annotated wi-h an nii
chi rus of impromptu profanity.
whs. snout W illiam, dear, you have
no idea how pretty you look with vour
The relations between Mra f'nl
Snort and Mrj. President Harri.
son are almost as badly strained as
tbo6e between the United Slates and
Chili. Nominally, of course. th first
lady of tbe land is Caroline; Smrt Harri.
son, but already everybody in Washing.
wu auuws mat, wntn it cornea to youth,
beauty and intelligence Min erva ete.n.tn-
hill Snort is the F. L. L Miner v is to
Csrrie what Snort is to Harrison, or what
Bismarck waa to the old Emperor- Wil
liam. Tbia Calls the Harrisons, hut
there ia no helD for them. ' Of
Harmon could Are the Snnrlinnl f th
White House ,but on the day following
all the democratic papers would publish
fac-similes of certain compromising doc,
uments now in possession of Col. Snort,
and those fac-similes would cause a num.
ber of verv sick families in Waihi
and the Harrison family would be the'
sicaesi oi tne jot. Moreover, if the pros,
pective Snort infant is not born in the
Whit House, it would not be a White
House baby. Ia that case Cleveland and
little Miss Ruib would have a walk
over in 1893, and the Harrisons would
mournfully meander back to Indiana.. .
I sorter reckon Col. Snort baa got this
administration where the wool ia tight.
When a new rooster shows up in a
bsroyard the "cock of tbe walk," without
any provocation whatever, pounces upon
tbe new arrival and tries to spread him
over the adjacent landscape. There is a
fierce but biief contest, and if the new
arrival comes out victorious, it is ever
afterwards in all their subsequeut social
relations, "Apres vous monsier," with
tbe defeated caadidate.
.Changing the stxes of the combatants
tbat Is what occured as soon as Mrs
Snort showed up in the White House, but
Mrs. Harrison soon discovered that the
Boston pullet was "loaded for bear."
The j tint diet ussion occurred when we
took dinner for the first time with tbe
Harrisons Tbe last round waa particu
larly interesting. Coffee bsd just been
served, and Mrs. Harrison, wbo had lost
a good deal of plumage in the discussion,
"Isn't it a little singular, Mrs. Snort,
that there are so many more blue stock
ings in Boston than in Indiana?'
"It isn't at all singular." replied Mrs
Snort, smiling pleasantly, "when yoa
take into consideration how much more
blue blood there ia in Boston than there
is in Indiana.
Mrs. Snort I'll (spank) teach you
(spank) good manners, (spank) you little
noosier imp (spank, spank.
Baby McKee Plesse, mum, I'll be
good (boo boo) .
President Harrison Ah, Minerva dear.
if you bad only been tbe mother of my
son itusseii be would have turned out all
right, and not been tbe weariness of his
father tbat he is. '
I gave a genuine rebel yell, and Harri'
son. who had his mouth full of coffee, had
to laugh too, and csme very near choking
to death. Mrs. Harrison indignantly
witndrew irom tbe convention.
Another little episode occurred vester
dsy tbat goes to show tbe superiority of
Massachusetts mind oyer Indiana matter
Mrs. Snort spanked Baby McKee for im
pudence, and they didn't dare raise a row
Minerva came into our boudoir where
I was smoking. 6n hearing her fairylike
step I said:
"Birdie, (that's ber pet name), came to
its own wootsie-tootsie duckum, and get
yonryum-yum. snorty always cas yum
yum on tap for his little Birdie. Whose
Birdie is oo? Is oo Billy's Biidie?" etc
Instead of Birdie festooniog my swsn-
use neca wun ner ivory arms, sbe stood
in front of me and said:
"William, I have just castizated that
"Good for you. Birdie. Tbe little
wretch ought to be spanked three times
a day with a steam-wielded mush paddle
but what did be do to earn it?"
"He pointed his finger at me and sne
a low song which contains a reauest to
one 'Johnnie' presumably 'Jonathan'
to procure bis fowltng-piece. wttb several
reiterations cf the last clause."
"O, he pointed to you and sang 'John
nie get your gun, gun, gun.' Mrs. Har
rison put bim up to that."
"les, said Minerva, with fire enough
in her eyes to start a Chicago fire, and I
put him over my knee and spanked him
so hard that I fear I have caused a luxa
tion of tbe phalanges and metacarpus of
my dexter hand "
"Well, I am rlad you didn't sprain it.
Minerva wss so thoroughly exasperated
that it took me more than half an hour
to get her back into good bumor again.
ilie warning Baby McKee got may
create a sensation of chilliness among
some of the first ladies of the lsnd.
Mrs. Col. Snort has created a great
sensation in Washington society. Where
ever she goes she is tbe cynosure of all
eyes, and there is great rivalry among the
nobi lty to become intimate with us. Mrs.
Snort instructs me to send you her con
pliments. She is not feeling as well as
sbe did in Boston but all newcomers in
Washington are more or less affected by
the miasmatic vapors of tbe Potomac
flats. Yours truly, , Bill Snort.
state of Ohio, City of Toledo. - (
Lucas County. f
Frank J. Cheney makes oath that he is
the senior partner of the firm of F. J.
Cheney & Cc doing business in the city
of Toledo, county and state aforesaid, and
that said firm will pay the sum of one
hundred dollars for each and every case
of catarrh tbat cannot be cured by the
use of Hall's Catarrh Cure.
Frank J. Cheney.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in
my presence, this 6lh day of December,
A. U.. 1886.
A. W. Gleason,
seal Notary Public.
A.. U.. lOOO
Hall's Catarrh Care is taken internally
and acts directly upon the blood and
mucoua surfaces of the system. Send
for testimonials, free.
F. J. Cheney & Co., Props, Toledo, O.
Sold by druggists, 75c.
Oysters at Krell & Math's.
Call on'E. B. McKown for hard wood
and soft cou!. Telephone 1.198.
Send your friends to Krell & Math's
for a dish of fresh oysters served in any
way you may wish for.
For Ssle A good f.mily horse with
harness and buggy. Inquire at 411
You can recommend Krell & Math to
anybody, as they have tbe best oysters
and know how btst to eerve them.
Remember the cold weather does not
affect the ice cream buainess a particle.
Yen can get a dish, brick, melon, pyramid
or individual ice cream at any time, no
matter how cold the weather is. at Krell
A Math's. ;
B. Birkenfeld offers rbr sale his entire
stock of books, stationery, confectionery
and toys, ice cream parlors and fixtures
complete. Also his property for sale or
rent for any number of years to suit
ACME BLACKING U cherev
at 20 cents a bottle than any
other Dressing at $ cents.
A LITTLE GOES A LONG WAY?
because shoes onoo lilackrped trith "t
be kept clean by washing them with ::tt i .
People in moderate circumstances f ; .1 i
profitable to bur it at 20c. a bottle, l., nr. ,"
what they Bpend for Blacking ther i-uvc in
shoe leather. ,
It is the chenpeft LlacUnr; cornt'erins
its quality, end yet c want t- sc. I it
cheaper if it can be done. We will pay
for a recipe that will enable us to mr.feo
Wolff's Acme Blackinu at such a price
that a retailer can profitably wll it at 10c. a
bottle. This offer is open until Jan. 1st, 1S93.
WOLFF ft BANDOLPH, Philadelphia.
(Md furniture painted with
(this is the name of the paint), looks like
stained and varnished new furniture. Inc
coat will do it A child can apply it. Yen
can change a pine to a walnut, or a chcrrv
to mahogany; there is no limit to vcur
fancies. All retailers sell it.
GEO. P. STAUDUHAR,.
Plans and superintendence for all class of
Rooms 53 and SS, Mitrbe I St, Lynde building
Always gives relief-1 have tried Sal.
vation Oil ia my own case for neuralgia,
and experienced much benefit from its
use. It is very penetrating and always
gives rehef. J. 8. Lewis, ,
Manufacturer Boots and Shoes. 64 Fav-
ette street. - -- . . '
What la more attractive than prettv
fwewiUt a fr,b. bright comp!exionT For
it. use Ppwoni'a Powder.
Express and Moving.
AU ordert promptly attended to. Cfaftr-
PPPTePfcVr nrri-r nr U Tronswisn'a TTo-w.....
- - aivuuauaiu o UlU7CO
ebop on Market eqnarc.
a Jl. HP a ....
2 ' Blk it!.
A ttohxey's at Lfw "'WLj
- " ' ,Tnw n D. 1
:r-lL na a
Hour,; (1 , w , "n'l r iun..c 1
DR- J- E. KAWTHOR
Mitchell & Lynde's Block. R00tt)
R- M, PEAS
, Roomin.Vitchll ALrrdt-.r.,
H-HlgCfflKH:. r protect Ycua i
MR- H. Hm;rnSrJ
The ...11.1 , . . ""-'H
m nuintt-d T H. Thir.. ',
c.-r.bra el M.imrn.i ;cv l
cisos sti'l ! fur Lu."
t'haneeabie i ,!..: . ...V
'J he mai. arc He
:n specue B,
v..n-irucuon OI me Li. ii,.J
chaaln? a i.-iir ti,
from the eyvs. lnJ . vt rv'uft I
Ihl' ever Inn mflif... I,..'... .
Lenses an-i they aiii Urni
T. H. THOMAS hs'-srHf J
ot lhc treat fup-ri.)ii:y.,tth(
urr auv ana an olnilf io c
nad ex&mine ih.
drn.-gis: acd opiician. nicc'il.au"
No Peddlers Snppliedj
DAVIS & CO,
Contractor for fiirnis lini anil la; ing wile - anil sewer pi pi1.
A CJinpl.le st ickof Pipe, Bras? Gocds. Packii Ho'e, t ire Brick, etc., coa-t si :!y s !m
DAVIS BLOCK, MoUne, HI.
1712 First Ave., Rock Island.
Residence Telephone 100-
The Art Garland . . .
Is the leading hard coal stove of the world.
has stood the test of time, and has proven itself
to be the Prince of Base Burners. If vou are in
need of a hard coal stove, it will pay you to call
and examine the merits of the Art Garland; it is
sold with a positive guarantee that it has no equal.
The Riverside Oak
Is the best for soft coal.
It; wijl, not gas or smoke.
It will keep fire all night.
It has a large ash pan.
It has heavy steel body.
It is guaranteed in every respect.
Gall and examine our immense line of Stoves
1615 and 1617 Second avenne, Rock Island, W