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FnbUahed Daily and Weekly at 1824 Second
Avenne, Rock Island. 111.
J. W. Potter, Publisher.
Tbms Dally, SOe ptr month; Weekly, $2.00
er annum; in advance, $1.50.
All communication of a critical or argnmenta
ore character, volitical or religious, must have
eal name attached for publication. Ho such
articles will he printed over fictltioaa signatures.
Anonym. n communications not noticed.
Correspondence rollciied from every township
Bock Island countv.
Thursday, July 14, 1892.
K3lOt RA Til X ATIOX L TICKET.
For President G ROVER CLEVELAND
Ifor Vice President AIM. Al E. STEVENSON
For Governor JOHN P ALTGELD
Fort'oncnssniHii at larjre JOHN C BLACK
ForC'onKressmanat large.. ANDRE W J HUNTER
For Lieutenant Govrnor JOSEPH B GILL
For Secretary of State tMli H1NR1(-1IEN
For Auditor DAVID GORE
ForTreasurer RUFTJS N RAMSEY
For Aitorticy General M T MALONKY
For Elector, 11th Dist J. H. HANLEY
UEJIOIKATIC .K! .
The Democratic voters in the several connties
compiisin' the JCcreutb Congrjssioual District
are requested to ser.d delegates to a Congress
ional convention to be held at Monmouth, Illinois,
Till KSl'AY, tEPT. 1, MK.
at 10:20 o'clock, a. m. for the purpose of nominat
ing a candidate for congress, u member of the
board of equalization, and to transact such other
business as may he presented for the consider
tion of the convention The several counties In
the congressional district will be entitled to a
representation n the basis of one delegate for
very 400 votes and one for a fraclon of 100 votes
or over, cat for Edward S. Wiison, for sta'e
treaaurer in 1800. us follows:
Counties. Votes W3 No. Del.
Rock Island 4.SS1 ill
Mercer 4,008 10
Henderson 934 5
Warren ,2Ni 11
Hancock 4.005 SO
MrDoLOUgh 8.J58 16
By order of Democratic Congressional commit
tec of the Eleventh Congreaeional district of Illi
nois. . w. Pc;T1EK, C'h'm.
H. C. Cook, Sec'y.
Monmouth, 111., July 9, l9i
Indianapolis SentiDel: Whitelaw Reid
and H. C. Frick are two of a kind, so far
as their relations to organized labor go.
The troubles of Stanley, the explorer,
in his attempt to get elected to parlia
ment, furnish new proof of the wisdom
of letting well enough alone.
The world's fair being icdorsed by the
platforms of both the democratic and
republican parties is further evidence of
the hustling qualities of Chicago.
It is very few strings that the Gcst
ctowJ is not working to insure the re
nomination of the ex-rongressmin. Even
the 2-year aco system of conducting the
canvass in his behalf through the medium
of anonymous correspondents has been
introduced again, and "A Workman" is
drafted in to write the Chicago Inttr
Ocean about what Gest did while in con
gress and praying for his rtuomination.
The Union of course "copies" the com
munication under a double head. The
most laugh-provoking part of the com
munication is the crediting uf Gest with
securing the Rock Islatd viaduct and
Hennepin canal appropriation, against
the success of both which measures, no
one could have done mure, unless it be
the direct ferry interests.
The I'll. 1 lorn:.
Here, i s summarized by the Albany
Argus, are the things for and against
which the di niocratic party by its plat
form is pledged:
For home rule and individual liberty
and bgain&t centralization.
Against the Force bill, federal marshals
at the polls, federal returning boards, the
revival of race antagonisms, and the en
trenchment of the republican party in
Against profligate expenditure and new
burdens of taxation..
Against unnecessary taxation which la
For free raw materials of manufacture
in the interest of labor and productive industry-
Against the republican tax policy which
fosters no industry bo much as the sher
For wider markets for American goods
and against prohibitive taxes which close
Against sham reciprocity, offering the
shadow, not the substance, of trade.
Against trusts and combines .
For public lands for actual settlers and
against grants for railroads and alien
For repeal of the silver act of 1890.
For honest dollars of gold and silver,
of tqual intrinsic and exchangeable
For repeal of the 1,10 per cent state
For genuine civil service reform, Bin
cere I j enforced.
Against the denomination of political
conventions by federal officeholders.
Against bluster toward the weak and
humility toward the strong in our for
For the prohibition of Chinese, pauper
and criminal immigration.
For just and liberal pensions, but
against extravagant and corrupt pension
For internal improvements on the Mis
sissippi and Hudson.
For popular education and against in
terference with religious liberty.
For territorial self government.
For protection of life and limb of rail
Against the sweating system.
Against sumptuary legislation.
Woman has been compelled to suffer,
not only her Ills, but those arising
from a want of knowledge on the part of
those with whom she stands connected.
In the mansions of the rich and hovels of
the poor, woman has been alike the pa
tient victim of ills unknown to man. But
now the hour of ber redemption has
come. Bradfield's Female Regulator
cures all diseases peculiar to her sex.
Sold by Hartz & Babnsen.
MR. AND MJ IS. BOWSER.
THE HEAD OF 'HE FAMILY IS IN
A BAf MOOD.
He Tries to Convii ee Mrs. Bowser That
Tilings Are Not us They Should He,
but He Gets. Coi nered What No Liv
ing Man Can Stand.
(.Copyright, VHt, 1 y Charles B. Lewis.:
Mrs. liowser real-, ed that something was
wronu; as soon 11s ffh heard his step. He
came Scrolling up t ie steps, gave the door
a kick as he unlock, d it, and dropping his
hat in the hall he w liked up to her with
some object In his h tnd and asketl:
"Do yon see that, Mrs. Bowser?"
"What is it?"
"I picked it up on the steps. It is only a
hairpin, to be sute, but my finding it
where I did has a -ignificanee. It proves
the reckless waste and appalling ext rava
gance prevailing th -oughout this house!''
"Does it? Well, haven't been cut the
house today. It was very likely dropped
by Mrs. White, w ho came in this after
noon." Mr. Bowser perceived that he had no
case, and he had no hing more to say until
he sat down to dim er. After he had lie
gun his meal he suddenly laid down his
knife and fork and oily inquired:
"Mrs. Bowser, die you ask the grocer for
wagon grease or bu : ter when you got this
"I didn't ask for either. Isn't it good
"There's no but er about it. It isn't
even decent oleomargarine. It's a wonder
to me we haven't al I been poisoned! When
a man tells me that his wife knows enough
to buy groceries I V now he's either a iiar
or an idiot ! I'll bet you paid at least twenty-eight
cents per piund for this grease!"
"Mr. Bowser, thi 1 is some of that butter
you found in a dairy four or five days ago
and paid thirty cen s per pound for because
it was so extra! Let's see! It was the
Cold Spring dairy, wasn't it? There's a
whole cake of it sti.l left."
"Do you you!"
"Yes same butt r, Mr. Bowser. I think
yon got cheated on it. I never saw a man
yet who was a judge of butter!"
Mr. Bowser Wat floored again, and he
didn't rally until after the meal was over.
He was looking or something and he
found it. Mrs. Bo vser had to tell him the
coal was out.
"What! What! Two tons of coal gone in
three days and on. y the range to use it!"
shouted Mr. Bowel r.
"That coal lasted longer than usual, I
think," quietly rej lied Mrs, Bowser,
T ZJ- W
"TWO TONS BR THRKK DAYS!"
"What on earth did you do with it? Two
tons Ln three da; s! Are we running a
40-horse power engine in this house?
Are we an ocean strainer? Are we a steam
supply company, unlimited?"
"Do you know vlien you cot that coal?
Here is the date. It was over six"
"If I had the mo n-y of Gould and Vander
bilt put together couldn't stand such ex
travagance!" fnterrnpted Mr. Bowser as
be stood trp and gestured with 1 t 1 1 arms
"Will anybody on top of this green earth
believe it!' two tons in three days!"
"Look at the dare yourself." she said as
she handed out Che bill. "It is a day or
two over six weeks. lur new girl is very
economical with ( ml.''
There was the date, and though Mr.
Bowser was red dear back to his ears he
couldn't dispute ir.. He felt that he must
say something, 1 owevcr. and so he laid it
down with the remark:
"Nothing but waste! waste! waste! from
cellar to garret, aid back again! How we
manage to keep out of the poorhouse is a
mystery to me!"
Mrs-. Bowser g! ve him fifteen minutes
to quiet down ant then placidly observed:
"I had a man fi the front doorbell this
afternoon, and you'd better leave me half
a dollar to pay him."
"What! That front doorbell out of
order again!" he i ried as he laid down his
"This is the 1 rst time it has ever been
out of order, Mr. Bowser, and we have
lived right here t ver eight years."
"But how did ii come out of order? Who
stood on the front steps and willfully and
delilierately und maliciously pulled and
yanked and tagged until they broke the
wire? If it wasn't you. then who was it,
and where were ; ou to allow it?"
"The wire was worn out."
"Worn on t ! V"ho ever heard of a wire
wearing out? It was deliberately pulled
out by the roots, and it can stay out! The
next thing you'll tell me, I suppose, is that
all the water pipes in the house have
"No, the wat r pipes are all right; but
"What nbout t he iceman? My contract
calls for twenty- ive pounds a day, and if
he's playing root s on us I'll hunt him to
"His bill for a month here.it is."
"His bill! Wl.y, the infernal scoundrel!
He didn't begin lelivering ice until a week
"Oh, yes, dear "
"IT1 take 10,00) affidavit that it isn't ten
days! He think ; you are running things
and has taken a (vantage of it. Mrs. Bow
ser, you know I' m a patient, uncomplain
ing husband, but this"
"Here's the d tte on my grocery liook,"
she interruptet , "and it's in your own
handwriting. 1 asked you to put it down,
"Never! Nev t asked me anything of
"Isn't that yo ir writing?"
"If it is I WW te it in my sleep, hut- it is
probably a forg ry. It's no use, Mrs. Bow
ser no use. V'e might just as well give
up and sell out. No living man can stand
such household mismanagement and keep
his ambitiou a id courage. It's the last
straw! I'm dot e!"
And Mr. Bowser turned around and fell
upon the louu,:ewitli a great crash, and
K ! I
lay there for the next two hours t rying to ,
make himself believe that all husbands
were martyrs and he the greatest martyr
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
A Great AmMtioii Tliut Has Been Only
OCR Ambition. Our esteemed contem-1
porary down the street, in a three column
article of personal abuse, asks the question,
"Will this villain's ambition be satisfied ,
with the office of mayor!-" We are the vil-1
lain referred to, of course, and we wish to
frankly and emphatically reply that our
ambition, so far from lieing satisfied, has
just woke up. We are the editor and pro
prietor of a great weekly family news-
TELLING THF! HOSTESS HOW TO FOLD TABLE
paper, and the owner of a grocery, a
harness shop, a shoestore, a gunshop, a
butcher shop and a feedstore, all under
one and the same roof. Further, we are
the acknowledged Ward McAllister of this
town. What we say in regard to social
matters goes. We lead the german when
the music strikes up, and when not lead
ing the german we are telling the hostess
how to work t he ice cream freezer and fold
the table napkins to resemble a broken hu
On top of all t his we are mayor of the
town, elected. by an overwhelming major
ity, and running municipal affairs in bang
up style. Pitch of the boys as do not re
spect us as mayor take pains to keep clear
of the two guns we are known to carry as
an editor and a citizen. We have driven
out the cowboys, licked every member of
the common council and brought the post
master down off his high horse. It doubt
less seems to our contemporary as if any
one critter on this earth ought to le satis
fied with such honors, but we are not. Kar
from it! We shall not pause long on the
threshold. We are already laying wires
to be elected to the legislature, as we an
nounced some weeks ago. It is the senate
or nothing with us. From thence to the
gubernatorial chair will only lie a step.
From governor to congressman will Ik;
only a stride. We may not be satisfied
with even that.
A Solemn Waknino. Tuesday after
noon a man calling himself Grizzly Bill
pot into a dispute in the Red Trout saloon
with an individual who has been generally
known around, town as Terrific Tom.
Both drew their guns ami adjourned to
the sidewalk and began shooting. Twelve
shots were tired and the only thing hit was
Major Callahan's bulldog, who died an
The parties were promptly arrested and
brought before us, as mayor, for shooting
all over the tow 11 and failing to hit each
Other. It did not take us over hull' an hour
to ascertain all the facts and particulars,
and we fined each one twenty-live dollars.
As neither had over two dollars in cash
and couldn't raise the fine, the pair have
gone to the county jail for three months.
We understand that some of the boys
are criticising our official action, btrt we
can't help it. When a man draws to shoot
in this town he must either hit somebody
with one of his six bullets or be considered
en N. G. and treated accordingly. This
blazing away at random, anil firing good
lead into telegraph poles anil hitching
posts, is a smirch on the reputation of the
town, aud we propose to put a stop to it if
the thing can be done.
FROM THE SAN SABA.
He Was a Bad Man, bat He Didnt
The city marshal and I were sitting on
the steps of a grocery facing the public
square when a man suddenly appeared in
front of and facing us 011 the other side of
the street. He flung down his broad
brimmed hat, jumped on it. and began:
"I am the bad man from the San Saba
river! When I'm let alone I am as tender
hearted and peaceful as 11 little baity and
nnylMKly kin borrow my guns or take off
my bates. But when I'm riled oh! great
guns! when I'm riled thar'sno nioreholdin
me back than tryin to stop a stampede of
10,000 steers! Whoop! Waugh!"
"Is there going to be a fuss h.-re?" I
asked of the marshal.
"Oh, no! Just go right on with your
I was telliug him about a cyclone in
Missouri, and as I continued the story or
started to the man peeled off his coat and
jumped on it and yelled:
"The San Saba is full of alligators and
lizards, but I swim in it every morning!
The wateris pizen fur wolves and panthers,
but I drink it by the gallon! My father
"BUT WHEN I'M RILED."
was a poor man, but he left me this yere
knife which had bled a dozen duffers. My
mother couldn't read or write, but she
brung me up to fear nuthin on the face of
the earth. Whoop! Whar's the critter
the cowardly, thievin, lyin sarpent who
put tar on my left ear while I slept?"
"That man's dangerous!" I said to the
officer as 1 looked around for a place of
"I hardly think so." he replied, as he
glanced at him. "What did the cyclone
I had been speaking about llfteen sec
onds when the bad man pulled off his
est and the handkerchief around his neck
Mid flung them on the pile and shouted:
"Waugh! Whoop! They put rattle
snakes in my lied, but I slept on like a
baby! They put centipeds in my hat, but
the critters dasn't bite! The lightning
tore Bp the earth all around nie, but I
wasn't hit! I cum down the left bank of
the Suu Saba on a thunderbolt, but I was
feelin good natured and wouldn't her hurt
a fly. A nigger Ihjv could her led me by
the nose till I found this tar on my ear.
Whodunit? Let the critter stand forth
and meet his doom!"
"He's certainly getting ready to shoot!"
I said to the marshal, "and we'll be his
"Oh, I reckon not!" he calmly replied.
"Were the folks killed when the house
Before I could answer him the bad man
drew two guns, jumped up and down and
yelled "Waugh!" aud then added:
"Hev I got to kill and bury this hull
town to find the critter w hotarred my ear?
Won't he step forth? Won't he be so kind
ami condesceiidin and everlastingly good
as to face nie fur the millionth part of a
second? I'm siifferin? I'm in pain. If I
can't find the human hyena who reached
under the wagon with tar on a stick!"
The marshal got up and walked over to
him. He took the gun out of his right
hand and flung it down, and he took the
gun out of his left hand and tossed it after
the other. Then he grabbed the bad man
by the shoulder, wheeled him around,
gave him a "lift" with his knee and said:
"Now yo' go off and sleep some sense
into yo' head or I'll use yo' for a club to
The bad man went. He didn't even look
back. The marshal picked up the prt-ees
of clothing and the guns, tucked them
under his arm and came over to me, and
as he Siit down he said:
"Well, yo'd got along to where the cy
clone hit a school house. How many did
it kill there?"
An I in. .1,1 Tale.
We had got settled down when a smile
overspread the drummer's face, a grin be
gan to draw the corners of his mouth right
and left, and he quietly began:
"I think it was the funniest thing I ever
heard in all my life ha! ha! ha!"
"Sir! Are you a drummer?" inquired an
oldish man with reddish gray hair who sat
in front of him.
"Drummer from Chicago?"
"And you want to tell us a funny story,
"I do. It's the funniest story I ever
heard related and too good to keep."
"Well, sir, I've a word to say to you,"
continued the old man. "I like fun my
self. Up to a year ago I was always on
the grin. If anything tickled me I'd laugh
till I fell down from weakness. I once
laughed thirteen hours without a break at
a story a drummer told me. I brought on
heart disease from lauirhing. and the doc
tors have warned me to be very careful.
This storv is might v tunny, is it?"
"It is. sir."
"Got a roaring old climax to it ?"
"Pretty certain to convulse the audience
"I'll warrant it to."
"Then please excuse me and I'll go into
the next car for a few minutes. I'm cer
tain it's a funny story. I know you'll tell
it in such a way that I shall have to bust
right out in spite of all I can do. If I bust
I'm a goner. I want to hear the story
mighty bad. but 1 also want to live as long
as I can. Just excuse toe."
He picked aphis grip and left the car,
and the drummer's smile faded away and
he pulled out a newspaper and began to
read. Somehow we (Han't like v ask for
the story and somehow he didn't seem to
care about telling it. By and by I w. nt
into the other car nd found the old man
"Were you really honest in what you
said about your heart?"
"Well, no." he replied.
"What was yoUT object?"
"Simply to stop his Tarn. I'm traveling
in the same line of goous for a New York
house, and I wanted to hurt his feelings as
much as I could!" M. Quad.
"Literature certainly runs in the Green
smith family. The two daughters write
poetry that nobody will print, the son
writes plays that nobody will act. and the
mother writes novels that nobody will
"And what does the father write?"
"Oh, he writes checks that nobody will
cosh. " Exchange.
Won't Cure Rheumatism.
But Krause's Geim' u Oil will rob the
rheumatic sufferers of nany rf its terrors,
being a powerful absorhant in all cases
furnishes temporary relief . It is arecogs
nized fact that any stimulating counter
irritant that is penetrating when properly
applied temoves pain, and that is what
Krause'e German Oil is a relief, not a
cure for rheumatism. For sale bv all
druggis's. Hartz & Bahcsen, wholesale
Cubeb Cough Cure One minute. '
For sale by all druggists. Hartz &
Bahnsen, wholesale drucgiata.
To reduce my stock of
I will place on sale for tbe next 30 days
mv entire stock of millinery goods at
prices that defy all competition of tbe
tri-cities. It will pay you to call and
examine my goods before purchasing
MISS ZATE BYRNES,
17"9 Sec nd Avenue.
import; r iMHIliilll rrM r-,
male by mi SnvebM tfttf .'t .
..;!.- K i
tor oO eta
' 'i. -! t .
O faJr ij tle
MADE ONLY BY
w in 1 sw5zxti
"WP- -r"in "
J. B. ZIMMER,
Hae Jntt received a large '-rc'.cc of the lateet Importer) atd Domestic Spring ar.d St:rr.r
Suiting, which he ia felling at 125.00 and np. Hi? line of overcoatinga canr.ot be exci
west of Chicago. A very fine line of jiante, which be la celling at Jo 00 and np. Cal
and make 3 our selection while tbe atock ia complete.
Stab Block, Opposite Harper House.
OLD GUARD HANDMADE
Only S2.50 Per Cation
J". X. DIXOJNT
And Dealer in Mens' Fine Woolens.
1706 Second Avenue
C. J. W. SwHREINEB,
Contractor and Builder,
I1SI ar.d UB Fourth an-ine. Residence- UW Fourth avenue.
Plans ard specification furerFhen on all clatter? work : also scent o j nIer'a Pa-e-'1 a'ict
Sliding Blind-, something new, siy!i?aanddte:rable.
Will he located on Fifth avenue and
. vfv 11
iUM I Li JBMPS :HaT
1" K. :. H
Proprietor of the Brady 8treet
iAil a : of Cat Flowers constantly on hand.
Green Honses Flower Store-
One block north of Central Park, the largest 1- Ia. 3C4 Brady Street. Dartnport,Iowt .
B. F. DeGEAR,
Contractor eincl Builder,
Office and Shop Corner Seventeenth
and Seventh Avenue,
'All Und! of ca.rpe.nter work a specialty.
avenport Business College,
COMPLETE IN AT.T. DEPARTMENTS.
FOR CATALOGUES ADDRKSS
bvVjrt tye Wild tiry
&fefye bloom, of r.
5uSTA CLAL'S SOAP.
v j .1. y v 1 r
S . , v?- - tr-
TwettTvihird street on or before August 1.
1803 Second Avenue.
Plans and estimates for all kinds of bulMUag
Erery MAN who wocln know the GRAND TRUTHS, th Plain Fucts. tha
Old Secrets and the New Discoveries of Medical Beienco aa anulii-d to
Married Life, ahuuld write for our wonderful little tnnk, called
"A TKKATISE FOR MF.N ONLV." To any earnest runn we will mall one
Copy Entirely Free, In plain sealed cover. "A ref aga f n im the quack,
THE ERIE MEDICAL CO.. BUFFALO, N. Y.