Newspaper Page Text
FnbUehed Dally and Weekly at MM Second
Arenne, Rock Island. III.
Tbwb Daily BOe per month; Weekly t.00
per annum; In adTance fl.SO.
All eommanicst or.a c( a critical or arjramenta
thre character, political or religions, most hare
real name attached for publication. No snch
article will be printed over fictitious signatures.
Anoymons eonnnunicatUBs not noticed.
Correspondence solicited from every township
in Bock Island county.
Monday, Septmtbkr 10. 1892
OESOCRATIC SATIOSAL TlfKKT.
Tor President GROVKR CLEVELAND
For Vice President.. ..ADLAI K. 6TE EsOS
FerGoY.rnor '?P L?5 cK
For Cor.reman at lar.e.... .. JOD C. BLACK
ForConijtvsMDan atlarce.ADKKW J. HCT.R
For Lieutenant Governor JoKPU B tilLL
For Secretary of Mate .... W M H H I N RR'H H s E N
For Auditor.. DAVID GO K K
FoT Treasurer KV "r US -V RAM9KY
For Attorney General M. T. MALoNfcJ.
For Elector, 11th list J HHANLfcA
FerforK ess, 11th I ist TRUMAN rLANT
For Member Board of JSqaUteai
For Representative, BjimiGi3,
For Stare's Attorney 3i-i?I?Jv
For Circuit Urrk PETfcK r ttfc
For Coroner . ... . WISSLOW HOWARD
A. J . Streetkr is bilied for a peo
ple's party spsech at Kirkwood this
week. We have it very direct that Mr.
Streeter said only a few days aeo that he
intended to rote the straight republican
ticket this fall. Is the people's party of
Illinois going to play into the hands of
the republicans? Aledo Democrat.
Well, if he does, he will only be play
ing his old game, bat as the Democrat
says, it may be well to watch hirr a little.
Thk efforts of the Union to say that
Mr. PleasanU did not say what he did
say at Friday night's republican meeting
in the Sixth ward concerning the Amer
ican flag are highly amusing. Mr. Pleas
ants was not credited in Thh Argus with
any remarks that he did not make. His
utteraices were properly recorded in Thk
Argus iust as he made them, uken down
by a reporter for tbU paper, and
printed without color or exaggeration
in the report of the meeting appearing
Saturday evening. Mr. PJeasants has
found no doubt, that there ia a vast dif
ference between the effect of a remark
made when upon the stump and accom
panied by the wild huzz of the over-enthused
and its appearance next dy in
cold type without anything to prop it up.
Favorable to lmrat,
Delos P. Phelps, chairman of the Illi
nois democratic state committee, has
written the following letter to the New
To the editor of the World: Replying
to your inquiry concerning the political
situation in Illinois at this time, I would
state that it is favorable to the success of
the democratic party. Illinois is an
agricultural state, pof ssssing no manu
factures of moment but what are injured
rather than bent nted by the falsely so
called doctrine of protection. Here the
tariff is the important and absorbing
question. It was upon that issue that
we fought the battle here two years
ago. electing a large majority of
our congressmen and also the
entire state ticket by handsome
majorities. capturing the legislature
and securing the United States senator.
This is still the issue, and tariff fur reve
nue forces are constantly being aug
mented. Many local causes add to our
strength, particularly the dUsatisf action
of a large part of the Gtroam popula
tion, which heretofore acted with the re
publicans, but which has now abandoned
that party with its meddling paternalis
tic ideas, and will this year vote with the
democracy. The active campaign has
just fairly begun. There is a great work
yet to be done. It is estimated that
there are 50.000 unnaturalized citizens in
Chicago alone who will vote the demo
cratic ticket if they can be naturalized
To accomplish this requires the
expenditure of time and money
Eight hundred should be natur
alized daily until election day. and
if that is accomplished the result in Illi
nois will noi bs even doubtful. The
work is Herculean, but democrats are
active, sanguine and determined. They
are fighting for principle, have enlisted
for the war and will do their best. Any
assistance extended to them will be
thankfully received. The fighting will
be hot and constant from now until elec
tion. No field promises better results
If no uuforseen contingency arises and
the wc-rs of polling, naturalization and
registration can be accomplished. Illinois
will go democratic by a handsome mj r
ity on both etate and national tickets.
D. J. 111 E LPS.
Chairman democratic committee, Mon
mouth, III., Sept. 5
I can recommend Ely's Cream Balm to
all sufferers from dry catarrn irom per
sonal experience. Michael Ilerr, Pnar
I had catarrh of the bead and throat for
five years. I used Ely s Cream Balm, ana
from the first application I was renevea.
The senee of smell, which had been lost,
wts restored after using one bottle. I
have found the Balm the only satisfactory
remedy for catarrh, acd it has effected a
cure in my case. H. L. Myer, Waverly,
The True Laxative Principle
Of the plants used in minuf&cturing the
pleasant remedy. Syrup of Figs, has a
permanently beneficial effect oa the
human system, while the cheap vegetable
extracts and mineral solutions, usually
old as medicines, are permanently injur
ious. BeiDg well-informed, you will
nse the true remedy only. Manufactured
ty the California Fig Sjrup Co.
AND MRS. BOWSER
THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY BUYS
A CROQUET SET.
And They Have a Little Game, in Which
Mrs. Bowser Comes Oat Victorious and
Nearly Causes Mr. Rowser to Have a
rCopyright, ISM. by Charles B. Lewis.
"What was In that box which came tip
this aftornoonr" queried Mrs. Bowser as
Mr. Bowser cazne home the other evening.
"That box! Mrs. Bowser, did you ever
hear of the same of croquet?"
"You haven't bought a croquet set?"
"Haven't If In about half an hour from
now 111 be proving to you that what you
don't know about croquet would make a
large book. Mrs. Bowser, I've got tired of
your bragging about how you used to beat
every one in four counties."
"But I never bragged, and you know we
hadn't been married but eight days when
"When what We started in to play a
came of croquet, but you were so bound
and determined to beat me that I walked
off. Yes, I remember all about it, and I
want to give you a little pointer. If you
can't play fair, don't play at all."
"I'm so sorry you brought the set home!
Couldn't you take it back and exchange it
"Sorry! Clotheslines! What on earth
is the matter with you? It's got to a pretty
pass if two old married people like us can't
co out and knock a few painted balls
around the yard without cutting each
other's throats over it ! You may get mad.
but I shan't. I simply want to take some
of the brag out of you."
It was with many misgivings that Mrs.
Bowser donned her hat and assisted to set
up the arches. Mr. Bowser, on the con
trary, was full of enthusiasm and antici
pation. "Champion of four counties, eh? We'll
see about that! If I don't beat you out of
sight in this game you can order ten new
"But if I beat you, you'll"
"Get mad? Not a mad! I'm not that
sort of a man, as you ought to know by
this time. If you beat me I'll even praise
your skill. You may have the first shot.
Hold on. now! What are you going
through both arches at once for?"
"Why, Ive a right to. Kvery player
makes both arches if he can."
"All right go ahead. I'll give you
every advantage and then beat you by half.
What sort of a move do you call that?"
"It's a regular move. It's my play to go
through the side arch, isn't it?"
"Xot in that skewjawea fashion, out go
ahead. Here what are you doing?"
"I'm going through the middle arch, of
course. There it goes. I call that a good
"All right; it's your last arch ! It's sim
ply a run of luck and no skill about it.
There stop right there! You can't play
no such game on me as that!"
7T? -X W
"A DEAD SW1XDLE!"
"What game? I simply went through
the arches and hit the stake, and it was a
beautiful shot too."
"But it was a dead swindle!" shouted
Mr. Bowser as he waved his mallet in the
"It's the rule as laid down, Mr. Bowsei,
and now I've got you just half white
washed." "Yon have, eh? More of your brag! It's
your last shot, Mrs. Bowser, and don't you
move that ball the billionth part of an
inch, either! There you've missed! 1
told you it was only a run of luck. Stand
aside now, and I'll show you how to play
It was a very poor "there" for Mr. Bow
ser. His ball struck the first arch and
rolled fifteen feet away, and Mrs. Bowser
clapped bor hands and gleefully exclaimed:
"You missedl you missed! Now I shall
surely whitewash you!"
"That's it! Jump up and down and
yell and scream like a girl ten years old!
The mallet sl:fped just as I struck and
111 try it over aicain."
You cau't do itl If the ball moves at
all you can't take it over!"
"Can't I? I'd like to know why! I've
put up with a full dozen of your tricks
since this game opened, Mrs. Bowser, but
I can't stand too much. There! Nowyou
watch my smoke. I'll show you a little
trick you never saw before."
This time the ball went to the left of the
first arch and did not stop nuder thirty
feet, and Mrs. Bowser had to clap her
hands nyam suid rejoice.
"Poor, foolish wrmiau! Can't you see
I'm ouly toying with you to make your
defeat all the more bitter?" growled Mr.
Bowser. "I told you I'd give you every ad-vanu-vyt-.
and I h.-ive. Go ahead now."
MrsT Bowser did some splendid playing,
never missing an arch as she returned, and
as her ball ltually hit the stake the dropped
her mallet and cried out:
"You are whitewashed, Mr. Bowser
whitewashed! It's the worst beat I ever
"Mrs. Eo-.vser," he whispered In reply,
with his jaw set and his face very pale,
"we have a c'liid in the house."
"Don't yes, dear, me! He is a young and
"He has not yet learned how to prevari
cate and swindle and then brag over it,
and I don'C want to tempt him to do bo,
"Why, what are you doing, Mr. Bowser!"
"Kemoving a temptation!" he replied 9
he went about pulling up the arches and
gathering up mullets and balls. "There
they go over into the alley, Mrs. Bowser,
and we'll never have another set as long as
we live together! Suppose that innocent
child had ben a witness to your actions!"
"My actions! Why, what did I do!"
"Never mind, Mrs. Bowser never mind!
I know and you know, but I will keep it
from him, po r childl You can run into
the house now. This may encourage you
to rob and murder me in my sleep, and I
ought to look over my papers and get
things ready so that our child will have a
trusty guardian appointed and be taken
tare of after I am gone and you are hung.
Run in, Mrs. Bowser. Nothing you can
aay will ever blind me to facts againf
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Strangers Should Beware When
They Com to Town.
Who Was He? Monday morning at
about 10 o'clock, while his honor the mayor
(who is ourself) was in bis office in the town
hall, a boy entered and informed him that
a stranger who was lame in the hip and
could not climb the stairs wished to speak
with him on the street on important busi
ness. With that cheerful courtesy charac
teristic of the gentleman his honor at once
laid aside hi work and followed the boy
down to the street. The only stranger in
sight was a bad looking redheaded man
on a white mule, and his honor had scarcely
reached the sidewalk before this fellow
opened fire and began to yell. His honor
had left his gun up stairs but as soon as
he realized the situation he dodged about
a v I T m X 1 IT ?
I ' r
I j j?- I : s a t -
GOT IS THREE SHOTS.
frying to borrow one. The result brought
out a singular state of affairs. Steve
White's pistol was fouled and the cylinder
would not revolve. Abe Johnson's was
caught in the lining of his pocket and
could not be extracted. Tom Williams,
who is always blowing around about being
heeled for a sudden emergency, handed out
a gun without a single cartridge in it! His
honor got hold of rive different weapons
before he found one ready for business.
Meanwhile the redheaded man was whoop
ing it up and the mayor was dodging about.
As soon as he opened fire the stranger de
cided to git. The mayor got three shots at
him, and the last one must have struck
him hard, as he dropped one of his guns
and clutched the saddle to keep from fall-.
Who the stranger was or is no one J
seemed to have any idea, but it is pretty j
safe to believe that he was sent in here by j
the Cinch Valley cowboys, none of whom !
has sand enough to show up in person, t
He couldn't have been In the locality very ;
long or he would have known his man bet- i
ter. He had nerve tnon;:h, but was a very j
poor shot. Only one I u'. li t out of the ten .
or twelve he fired was a line shot, and that
passed through his honor's hat. Most of j
the others went into the telegraph poie in
front of the door. We have no particular j
fault to find with the stranger, whoever he j
is, but as for the four or live of our fellow j
townsmen who were standing around witli
useless guns in their hip pockets, we feel
they deserve the harshest criticism. A gu:
is of no earthly use in this county unless it
is ia order. If not in order, then a man is
on idiot to load himself down with it.
He'd better carry a stone in his pistol
pocket or a club over his shoulder. As for
Tom Williams, who wasn't loaded at all,
he'd letter go bury his gun and arm him
self with a corn ruttr-r or a buzzsaw. He'd
have been -in a nice fix to have begun a re
ligious discussion with some of the loys
wouldn't he! We have crossed his name
off our subscription books, and we want
him to keep away from our office in future.
Not Exacti.Y. An eastern subscriber
to The Kicker writes tis to inquire if this
town has mineral springs and is a heclth
resort. It h- no springs as far as wo
know of, and isn't exactly a health resort.
The climate is healthy or unhealthy, ac
cording to the man. We have kno-vn
strangers to come here and jfaiu three or
four pounds of flej,h per week, and again
ot hers would fall away so rapidly that when
hung up to a limb there was hardly weight
enough to keep the rope taut. There was
Utah Joe, for instance. His friends
thought he was going ir.to a decline and
advised him to come here to restore his
health. During the first week of his stay
he was so quiet that everybody took him
for a theological student, and he gained
almost a pound a day. Helegan the sec
ond week by bragging of the number of
men he had planted, and ended up by
shooting a pipe out of Alderman Ileuden
son's teeth mid tLreateriin; to clejm out
this office. He didn't gain smy that week,
and when he left town Saturday nicht li
was losing fat at the r:.te of a pound a nif'e.
We have but very little sickness here, .id
malaria ia entirely unknown. The deaths
are most always very sudden, and ; the
coroner feels called upon to hold .in in
qnest and se.-irch the iockets of tlj-! de
ceased. We think the richt sort of man
can continue living in this locality until
he gets so tired of drawing his breath that
he will go out and suicide unless U1 to a
THE LIMEKILN CLUB LECTURE.
The Hon. Johnson Makes a Few'Kernarks
About the Future.
After the regular business of the weekly
meeting of the Limekiln cluh had been
concluded. Brother Gardner announced
that the Hon. Backstop Johns n, of West
Virginia, was waiting to deliver a lecture
before the club. After tha jor had been
THE nON. JOHXSON.
sprinkled with water, the alley windows
raised and Samuel Shin cautioned about
falling aslee; and swallowing the glass
stopper of a bottle he was holding in his
mouth to cure him of the habit of stutter
ing, the reception committee brought the
stranger in. Mr. Johnsou appeared to be
about forty-five rears old. He was talL
rhin .nit wnniM. witb a stiff lee and a bald
Lead. He brought in with him from the
anteroom, as if mistrusting the honesty of
the janitor, a large, lank satchel of the
crop of 13T2, and a cotton umbrella which
probably saw the opening of the civil war.
He was accorded a hearty welcome, bow
ever, and he deposited satchel and um
brella, removed his coat and got to busi
ness without delay.
"My fren's," he said in a voice which re
minded everybody of a corn sheller hard
at work, "de subjeck of my imperious re
marks dis eavenin am entitled 'Lookin
nenceward.' -Dar may be some among yC
who doan know what 'henceward' means.
I will darefore explain dat it means bo
yand in de fucher way off ahead. I--P"
plause from Shindig Watkins, who had
been puzzling over 'henceward' for the last
two months. Yo kin look back thirty
y'ars an see what progress de cull'd man
has made, but de fucher am what is ahead
of us. De fucher is a headlight to guide
us on de upward path an finally seat us
on de pinacle of greatness an verbosity.
While we may feel proud of de past, we
am justified in feelin a feelin of gloriosity
ober de fucher. General applause, which
sagged the stovepipe in the middle and
threatened a calamity.)
"My fren's," continued the speaker as he
helped himself to a glass of root beer
from Brother Gardner's pitcher and wiped
off his chin, "I put de past behind me an
urge yo' onward to de fucher. Widin de
next hundred y'ars dar am gwine to be
sich a mighty change take place dat it
almos' takes one's bref away to think
of it. It's gwine to be a change to put de
cull'd man whar he belongs on top de
heap. I predict:
"1. A gradual but sartin change in de
ha'r. De kinksan knots will all straighten
out, de ha'r take on a gloss an we w-ill be
de envy of de civilized world.
"2. A gradual but sartin f vdin out of color
until we become whiter dan whit folks,
Dey will probably be mad an jealous about
it, but what am to be will be an dey can't
stop it. I predict dat Giveadam Jones,
heah on my right, who am now de color of
a black cow at midnight, hasn't got to Lb
ober fo'ty y'ars to bleach out as white as a
governor's Sunday shirt.
"3. A gradual but sartin f-cquirement of
;,race an beauty. It won't be fifty y'ars
befo' yo' can't find abowlef-ged cull'd man
in a week's travel, an one vid a bald head
or a pair of cross eyes will be as much of a
oovelty as a mastodon. Our moufs will
contract, our lips fall rway in flesh an
poets will rave ober our r.roopin blue eyes.
White folks will be mad 'miff to bust, but
we ruus' go right along jji pay no 'tenshun
to deir empirical feelins
"4. In de co'se of de I ext hundred y'ars
de cull'd man will be on top de heap in
oratory, poetry, paintii., astronomy an all
do arts an sciences. H v ill sit in de White
House, an he will ma'.ede laws. He will
make de history of d-i kentry, an he will
also write it.
5. Instead ofde IJack folks gwine to
Africa to lib, de whiyp folks will probably
c'lur out fur Mexjto or de Sandwich
Islands. Today deVreat problem of dis
kentry am not whaf to do wid de black
man, but what is trine to become of de
whita folks in a f r y'ars mo'.
"0. A gradual 1 'j: sartin contrackshnncf
feci 'till a No. 8 v.ll fit most tberybody in
in du crowd. Y.Vi can't skassly cornpre
Len 1 it as yo' ook at de No. 13 boots
ailornin de f e d of Waydown Bebee, an
pinchin LLs Lot . at dat, but sich will be
de result of pr. f ress. BradderBeebe him
self may lib to tee dat day.
"An now, iy fren's." continued the
speaker as ho drained the pitcher of its
contents, "I f not wish to take up yo'r
waluable tintf. I did not come heah to
dedicate an r aporashun of cupidity, but
to briefly coanive my CAntileverous con
sanguinity toward a bituminous propaga
sbun of wljfct I airnestly believe will come
to pass. I thank yo, gentlemen thank
yo' from jf.e bottom of my heart, an I
shall ebcr hold de memory of dis eavenin
as one ot' de most electuated in my fal
The gfntleman left the hall amid wild
and t:t:aultuous applause, but when he
hail diuppeared the silence was profound.
It wa not broken for a couple of minutes.
Thea Brother Gardner arose and said:
'.i hundred y'ars am a long time to
wait but I reckon we'll hev to. We will
UO break de meetin in two an go home."
I M. Quad.
To Yccnf Mothers
ho are for tqe first lime to undergo
woman's severest sril, we offer you. not
the stupor caused by chloroform, with
rick of death for vourself or your dearly
loved and lonaed-for offspring, but
"Mother's Friend," a remedy weicn will,
if used as directed, invarinbly alleviate
the paint, horrori acd rit-ks of labor, and
often entirely do away with them. Sold
by Hartz & Bahnsen.
IPure and Wholesome Quality
Commends to public approval the CUi
forcia liquid laxnive remedy. Syrup of
Figs. It is pleasant to the taste, and by
acting gently on the kidneys, liver and
bowels to cleanse the system effectually,
it promotes the health and comfort of all
who use it, asd with millions it ia the
best and only remedy. For sale by
Hartz & Bahnsen.
What the Hon. George G. Vest ays in
regard to the superiority of the Hirsch
berg's diamond and non-changeable spec
"I sm usinjj glasses which I purchased
from Prof. Hirscbbcrg and they are the
best I ever tried; it affords me great
pleasure to recommend Prof. Hirscbbcrg
as an excellent optician, and bis glioses
are simply unequalled In mv experience.
G. G. Vest."
These spectacles are for sale by T. II.
Thomas, ageDt for Rock Inland.
Washington, D. C-, and Return
For the G. A. H. national encampment
the C , R. I. fc P. will sell tickets Sept.
13th to 20th inclusive, good to return up
to Oct. 10th for less than one tare for
round trip F. H. Plcmmer. Agt.
DB. ST. AltnAD'S
Is the Safest and Surost lietucdy ever discovered
for all the unnatural dicluu-s and Pkivatk
Diseasks OF 11ej and the debilitating veakuess
peculiar to wotuen. It lias never failed to cure
the most obstinate case, in men, in from 3 to 6
days. (Nothing that makes quicker claims is
safe.) It is convenient to carry and handy to
nse no bottle or spoon to annoy yoa. Keoem
ber, -we guarantee it. Price fl.OO per box. Co re
plete instructions with each box. If the drug
gist you ask for Ir. St. Annand'i French Cure
has not got it, don't let him fool you with bis
oily tongue by selling you something else in
stead, but send price to us and we will forward
to yon by mail, in plain, unmarked box. We
also treat natlents by mail. Address THE
HAZZARAK MKDICINE CO., 800 South
g&mon Street, Chicago, IU.
I am laden vitb frebw
I carry sveel
Willi friJi LAUJ
Tvr - " t ' r W VT . - - a wm
kVth J J
ASK YOUR GROCER FOR IT
$4.00 per Month for Ten years,
or $6.00 per Month for Six years
Pays Principal and Interest and seeures you
a Deed with Abstract of Title.
ON EACH PLAN. LOCATION 38th ST.
PRICES WILL BE ADVANCED.
Come early and btcure choice locations and lowest prices
BUFORD & GUYERS Addition.
Apply to J. A. Buford or E. H. Guyer.
-TOE WELL KIJOW.S-
and Leader in Styles and workmanship, has received
his FiLL STOCK of Suitings and Overcoatings.
5Calt. and leave your order.
Star Block Opposite Harper House.
J. T. DIXON,
And Dealer in Men's Fine Woolens.
1706 Second Avenue.
1803 Second Avenue.
Proprietor of the Brady Street
Ad k nds of Cut Flowers constantly on band.
Green Houses- - Flower Store '
Que blork north of Central IVr. the largest 1- Ia. SO Brady Street. DaTcnport. lo
B. F. DeGEAS,
Contractor and BiailcLer,
Office snd Stop Corner 8 ve-itanat 8U . . T?r-olr Tcl'jni
sa l Seventh Aaue. ' iVOCK lSiailw
C5"A21 kinds of carpenter work a sveclalty. Flans and estimates for all kinds of bnlldinpt
raminteo on application.
avanprt Business College,
COI.IPL.BTE IN ALL. DEPARTMENTS.
FOR CATALOGUE ADDRESS
J. C. DUNCAN, Proprietor.
ten srarsfcBte to enre a
, . IT . . . 1.. I .-
tl rrYn diserkws. eh as WeK '
le. Wakeiuliirs. Warhor .:yhii "
.all.lraln.snrt l.f of xiwerul tUe o .
sale ia Rock island by Hartz & Bahnsen. 8d Aveand 20tH street