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Published Dally and Weekly at 1624 Secord
Atcim. Rok Island, HI.
J. W- Potter,
Tccus Daily 80c per month; Weekly fS.OO
per acttom; In advance $1 .SO.
AU commortcat rus of a critical or argumenta
tive character, political or reliirioas, most have
real lime attached for publication. No each
an tele will be printed over fiotukms signatures.
Anovmoas communications not noticed.
Cotrepondenee solicited from every tewnthip
in Bock Island county .
Monday. Settsmbkr 19. 1892.
BBHOCBaTIC SATlOSAli TICKET
For F resident GROVE R CLEVELAND
For Vice President.. ..ADLAl K. STEVENi-uN
ForGoveuor JOHSP. ALTGELD
For Congressman at lare JOHN C. BLACK
Fo Congressman at Urge. ANDREW J. HUNTEK
For Lieutenant Governor JCSKP11 B GILL
For Secretary of State WM H HlNKIt'HHSEN
l or Auditor DAVID GORE
For Treasurer RL'FUS RAMSEY
lor Attorney General M. T. MALONEY
I or Elector, 11th D:st J HHAMEY
Tcrlovg ess, 11th List TRUMAN PLANTZ
I or Member Board of Equalizat on,
H. R BAKTLESON
For Representative, Twenty-first Diet.
JOSKFH H, MULLIGAN
For State's Attorney M. J. Mc'MRY
For Circuit Clerk PET Kit FKEY
For Coroner WINSLOW HOWARD
In view of the Chicago Tribune's pres
ent support of the protective doctrine,
the following from a speech of Editor
Joseph Medill not a half century ago. is
quite refreshing: ' I understate the truth
when I say that the farmers of the west
and the planters of the south are charged
$500,000,000 a year on their goods for
the profit of protecu d eastern manufac
turers more than is fair or necessary on
the principle of live and let live."
Charleston Courier: The whole re
publican - menagerie are swinging
round the circle, headed by Fifer, Pa
Tey, Pearson, Ray and Hertz, and the
rear brought up by Sissy Tates. The
penitentiaries and asylums are deserted
by their officers, who are neglecting their
official duties and drawing their salaries,
while they are frantically appealing to
the people to save them from the flood
which will engulf them in November.
Qclcy Herald: In Ben Cable's con
gressional district the republican press
has been claiming that they would be
compelled to pit brain against money.
The republicans have put in the field Ben
F. Marsh, of Warsaw, who, has frequent
ly been claimed, spent $25,000 in his last
contest for congress with Mr. Neece. The
democrats have nominated that brilliant
young lawyer Truman Plantz, of the
same place, who but a few years ago was
a brakeman on the T..P.& W, railroad,
and is. cf course, yet a poor man. This
time the republicans have the money end.
and it remains to be seen whether brains
cr money talks.
William Dean Howells has resigned
his position as editor of the Cosmopoli
tan, and the October number comes out
without his name on the cover. Mr.
IlowtUs was in the Cosmopolitan office
but three month", from March 1 until
June 1. It is said that he had been una
ble to agree with John Brisben Walker,
the proprietor. This is denied at the of
fice of the Cosmopolitan. "Mr. How
ells," the business manager says, "bad
too much of bis own work to attend to
and could not devote enough time to the
magazine. There was not the slightest dis
agreement between him and Mr. Walker."
Mr. Howells' editorial connection with
the Cosmopolitan is the briefest on rec
ord. Be was with the Atlantic 15 years
and Harper's Monthly for six years. He
is still at Intervale. N. II., where he
suent the summer, and the result of his
work during the la&t three months is a
novel to be published shortly in the La
dies' Heme Journal.
The St. Paul Globe has recently pub
lished the official returns of the elections
of 1890 in several of these states. The
list is so interesting and at the same time
ao suggestive a d snows so clearly how
finely drawn is the line between republi
can and democratic victories that we pub
lish it bel w. The figures, which speak
for themselves and show the necessity cf
continued and united action if we hope
to win the west, are as follows:
Michigan Democratic vote, 18C.C49;
republican vote. 177.023.
Illinois Democratic vote, 840,040; re
publican vote, 811.820.
Iowa Democratic vote, 194,832; re
publican vote, 185.772.
Wisconsin Democratic vote, 128,179;
republican vote, 116 901.
Nebraska Republican vote. 72.879;
opposition vot . 135.730.
Kansas Republican vote, 122.682; ops
position vote. 167.523
Minnesota Republican vote, 83,11!;
opposition vote. 144.357.
If these staler says the Evansville
Courier, do not have to be fought for by
the republicans, neither will tbey have to
fight for New York and Indiana, for
every one of them were as largely anti
republican proportionately In 1890 as
New York and Indiana were in
that year. In Nebraska, Kansas and
Minnesota the opposition votes are
united with but one ticket against Har
rison, and he is pretty certain to lose all
three of them to Weaver.
THE EDITOR WANTS THE NOMINA
TION FOR THE STATE SENATORSHIP.
And lie la Going: to Hump Himself to
Get It Be Gives His Views In His
Own Frank Way and Shorn Up Bis
Copjricht, 1892. by Charles B. Lewis.
Our Platform. We do not only believe
that we are eminently qualified to fill the
position of state senator, but we make no
bones of the fact that we are humping onr
self to secure the nomination from this dis
trict. We have received quite a number
of letters inquiring as to our views on cer
tain matters, and we hereby append a few
First We "take sumthin" occasionally,
Out will get right down to spring water
and hang to it if the rest of the crowd wilL
Second We want to see every working
man earning ten dollars per day and every
capitalist doubling his money.
Third We favor any sort of tariff which
will please the crowd.
Fourth Dnrn the Chinese!
Fifth We are pledged to a low rate of
taxation and a high price on mules.
That's about all up to date, but we stand
ready to answer all further questions. We
shall go into this campaign on a different
line from anything heretofore adopted.
Our opponent will probably be the Hon.
Joseph Merximan. We have had his rec
ord for the past six months. While he
was yet a youth his mother eloped and his
father went to prison. As he grew up he
robbed a store, burned a school house, stole
a horse and got fifteen years for man
slaughter, lie broke jail to come west and
has had a noose around his neck twice in
this territory. He is a voluble liar, a mag
nificent leadbeat anil a tricky rascal in
general. All this, however, we shall care
fully suppress during our can vass. Xeither
on the platform nor in our paper shall we
allude to him as anything but an honor
able gentleman. We do not believe in
campaign slanders and vituperation.
Heretofore it has leen the habit of can
didates to put on an old red shirt, slouch
hat and corduroy trousers and go among
the boys as one of them, and liquor has
been free. We shall appear at various
meetings in a plug hat, boiled shirt, regu
lar collars and cuffs and a Prince Albert
coat. Now and then we shall have our
shoes blackened with regular blacking.
We owe it toourdignity and to the dignity
of the office we hope to fill. Some of the
opposition will probably take us for a
squirt and attempt liberties. All such
will only have to spit on our low cut shoes
to find two guns ready for active service.
We shall do no treating as a regular thing,
no matter what course our opponent pur
sues. If elected we shall have considerable
patronage to dispose of. There won't be
any civil service about it, however. It
will be given to those of our partisans who
have yelled the loudest for our election,
and we shall make it as fat as possible.
You can't begin to yell too soon. Any one
wanting a bill put through the next legis
lature should call or write to us as soon as
During this campaign we shall not edi
torially advert to our narrow minded,
small souled contemporary. He has sworn
to do all be can to defeat us with his 4fi0
circulation, but as we can always buy np
453 copies of every issue, and the others are
deadheads to some New England state,
we prefer to do that way. In his last is
sue he affirms that we killed our mother
and fled from Vermont, but the canard fell
as flat as his old wallet on pay day.
We have been asked if we shall do any
shooting during our canvass. We hope to
avoid it, but the opposition must not pre
sume too far. We are willing that others
should be heard, and we propose to be
heard ourself. There are towns where they
don't like us, but we shall appear and be
heard just the same. We have heard of
candidates Wing tossed in a blanket, but
we have no fear of such an occurrence hap
pening to us. We expect to be guyed
about our ping hat, ridiculed about our
boiled shirt and probably menaced because
of our generally genteel appearance and
humble demeanor, but we hope, we shan't
be obliged to attend any coroner's inquests
and thereby interrupt our programme.
STEALING A GRAVE.
But She Felt Very Sorry About It After
ward. We had stopped to talk with a woman
driving a pair of old mules to a covered
emigrant wagon full of children and house
hold goods when an old man, with long
hair, bareheaded and dust covered, roda
"I NEVER MEANT TO STEAL TOUB GRAVE."
up at a gallop on a one eyed horse. He
was armed with a shotgun, and he flour
ished it arot nd with great vigor as he
imetoaha. and exclaimed:
"Show him to mel Whar is hef Whar's
the blamed critter who played me low
"Stranger, what'a all this goin on about?"
calmly inquired the woman as she filled
her clay pipe for a smoke.
"Did you come up the river road?" de
manded the old man.
"Then you are he critters I'm after.
Whar's the varmint who owns thiB outfit?"
She scratched a match ou the back of a
redheaded boy about four years old who
popped out from the interior of the wagon,
lighted her pipe, and then patting herself
on the knee she replied:
"I'm the varmint."
"Whar's your man?"
"Then doggone your buttons, but you
put him in thar, did you? You are a
woman and I can't fight ye, but if you was
a man I'd kerry your ears home aud nail
'em on the door. Whoop! I'm mad nuff
The woman drew three or four long
whiffs, spat over the tail of the off mule
and calmly explained:
"Gentlemen, this family ar' bound fur
western Nebraska, chuck up agin the
Colorado line. The old man had bin outer
sorts fur a week. Yesterday he died. I
found a hole in the ground purty clus to
somebody's squat and planted him in it.
Wasn't nobody to home to ask n!xut it,
and so in he went. Guess the hole belonged
to the stranger, from the way he is takin
"Of course it did of course it did!"
shrieked the old man as he poundod the
sides of his one eyed horse with his heels.
"I've bin livin alone on that squat fur over
a year. I've had that grave dug fur over
six months. It was my grave the place
whar I wanted to be buried and, dod rot
your hide, you've cum along aud dumped
the carcass of your old man into it and
store it! Whoopee! I've rid ten miles to
shoot somebody, and now thar hain't no
body to shoot!"
"Stranger," said the woman as soon as
the old man had calmed down a little, "I
never meant to steal your grave. I'm sor
ry 1 diil it. This outfit is bound fur the
Colorado line and can't wait to jaw around.
Here's alwut a quart left in the jug. Take
a nip and let the old man lay thar and call
it squar'. I'm a widder and these children
"Never! never!" howled the old man.
"You can go on, and be durned to you, but
I'll never forgive ye! Cum along when I
wasn't to home and stole my grave and
planted yer old man right under my nose.
He got the old horse under way and went
off in a cloud of prairie dust, and after
watching him for two or three minutes the
woman shook the lines over the ninlcs and
"Waal, goodby. Colorado line is a long
ways off. He-up thar, boys, arid you young
uns stop that quarreliu or I'll heave the
hull gang of ye out of the wagin!"
USING HIS INFLUENCE.
She Was a Lucky Woman to Find Him
An ox cart put her trunk off on the de
pot platform, and she came waddling down
to where the colored porter was sweeping
out the waiting room. She was a very
large and corpulent colored woman, and
her trunk was very old and lean and tied
around with a piece of bedeord.
"ilwiiin, sab," she said as she came to
"Mawnin,"he replied as he leaned on his
broom and looked from her to the trunk
and bar k.
an to' wast a i:nr,'uit tntci; ki u hat
"I'ze gwine up to Dal ton, an I want to
git dat trunk checked. Who's li- pusscu
to see 'bout it"
"I)e pusson! Who's de pusson? Keck
oned yo' nebltr did cum todis place l.tfo'?'
"Dat's what I reckoned. Does yo' kuow
de president of dis railroad?"
"Hu! Dat's bad fur yo'! What yo' gwine
up to Dal ton fur?"
"To git work."
"What yo' got in dat trunk?"
"Am yo' a 'spectable pusson?"
"Of co'se I is!"
"An yo' want a reg'lar check fur dat
trunk same as white folks gits?"
"Waal, yo' go an sot down in de waitin
room fur cull'd folks, an if de president or
de superumtendent doan'cum alon I'll use
my inflooence wid de ticket agent when he
gits yere. He's under de deepest obliga
shuns to me, an I reckon he'll sell yo' a
ticket an let me check dat trunk. Yo' be
mighty keerful, however!"
" 'Boul. dat check. Doan yo' dun go an
swaller ii, like a woman did last week, an
make us ober $10,000 expense. Mighty
lucky furyo tiat yo' happened to find a pus
son wid inflooence aroun yere dis mawnin.
Yo' go an sot down, an doan' yo git too
Dip. If yo' does yo' will hev to walk to
Dalton wid dem big feet o' yours!"
The Man Who Was Looking.
We were talking about memory when
the smart young man put in with:
"Gentlemen, 1 have positive proofs that
I can remember back to when I was six
"Whar's yer proofs?" asked a farmer
looking man, who didn't seem to be favor
ably impressed with the young man's ap
pearance. "I haven't got 'em here of course, but I
pive you my word of honor. When I was
six mouths old my parents gave a party.
One of the invited couples brought a baby
atout four months old, and I remember
of his being laid on the bed beside me."
"By George!" exclaimed the farmer as
he half rose up, "but hain't this a mighty
funny thing! I was that four-montbs'-old
"Is it possible!" gasped the young man.
"She are, and, furthermore, I remember
of your being so gaul durned mean that you
tried to kick me off the bed. I said then
that if we ever growed up and met I'd give
you the all firedest lickin a critter ever got
n this cold sphere. Young man, one
is is goin to git infernally pounded!"
"But you can't possibly be that child
he died of measles later on," protested the
young man. ,
"No. he didn't! They thought he was
goin to, but he snaked through and lived
"But don't yon see that while I am only
twenty-two you are over forty? It couldn't
be, you see."
"Can't help that," persisted the old man.
"One or the 'tother of us is goin to git
"Look here," said the young man in a
voice which betrayed great agitation, "I
think I was mistaken. I don't believe I
can remember back as far as that."
"How far kin you remember?"
"Back to about six yeats."
"Waal, that's more likely. I'll put on
my coat on that and let yon off, but let
this be a mighty solemn warnin to you,
young feller! I'm a-lookin fur that baby
who kicked my ribs that night and played
me low down mean, and if I ever git my
paws on him he won't even make good
soap grease after I'm through prancin him
An American Fable.
It so happened that a Cucumber and a
Turnip were growing in the same soil
beneath a harvest apple tree, and one day
the Tree began bragging of what benefit it
was to man.
"Look at the apples I grow!" it proudly
exclaimed, "and what a rush there is to
secure them! My reputation has spread
through the whole county!"
"But when it comes to a matter of taste
I am always preferred," replied the Cu
cumber. "Why, there are restaurants in
Chicago which serve me up in seven dif
ferent ways, while an Apple is ouly an Ap
ple, with very likely a worm hole in it at
"Don't you forget that I am one of the
old standbys!" exclaimed the Turnip as it
caught ou to the conversation. "No worm
holes in me, and neither am I 99 per cent,
"If I was down where you are I'd knock
his top off!" said the Tree to the Cucum
ber. "Oh, I've only to wait and see him de
voured by some lean old cow!" spitefully
replied the long green product.
"That's all right," observed the Turnip,
"but here comes a man who looks to le
level headed, and we'll see what he says
about it. Prepare yourselves to take back
Upon the near approach of the traveler
the matter in dispute was stated for his in
formation, and he was then asked as to
which of the three was entitled to the
"My dear friends," he replied after a
patient hearing, "you have struck the
right man in striking me. I'm a Doctor,
and while no individual one of you would
yield me a steady practice, the three com
bined give me all I can do and keep the
Undertaker busy as well. Glad I hap
pened to run across you. I'll have a dozen
Hoys up here within half an hour!"
Moral He had eight calls that after
noon and evening.
Identifying a General.
For two or three days the waiter nt my
table had galled me "gineral" whenever
he could ring in the title, and of course I
allowed the same to stand. At noon one
day a young man took his place at the
table, and the waiter addressed him as
"gineral" and shoved me on the back
seat with "jedge." I didn't say anything
until I caught him out on the veranda two
hours later. Then I observed:
"George, up to this noon you were calling
"But as soon as that young man came in
you gave him my title."
"Yes, sah had to do it, sah."
"Why did you have to it?"
"Bekase I seed dat he was a real gineral,
sah, an yo' wasn't. Sorry, sah, but we dun
can't afford to make no mistakes at dis
"Did he register as a general?"
"Did he tell you he was a general?"
"Then how do you k-ow he is a general ?"
"Seed it wid my own eyes, jedge, de
minit he got outer de bus. He's got creases
on de back side of his pant legs, sah, an
dat's de way we tell a gineral down yere
an nebber make no mistakes!"
Always order brick ice cream for your
party. Three kinds in each brick.
Krell & Math cac supply you
Pure and. Wholesome Quality
Commends to public approval the Cali
fornia liquid laxative remedy. Syrup of
Figs. It is pleasant to the taste, and by
acting gently on the kidneys, liver and
bowels to cleanse the system effectually,
it promotes the health and comfort of all
who use it, ad with millions it is the
best and only remedy. For sale by
Hartz & Bahnsen.
What the Hon. George G. Vest rays in
regard to the superiority of the Hirich
berg's diamond and non-changeable spec
"I am using glasses which I purchased
from Prof. Hirschberg and tbey are the
best I ever tried; it affords me great
pleasure to recommend Trof. Hirschberg
as an excellent optician, and his glasses
are simply unequalled in my experience.
G. G. Vest."
These spectacles are for sale by T. H.
Thomas, agent for Rock Island.
Attention, G. A. A. !
The Burlington route C, B. & Q
railroad is the only line making rate of
$20 25 for the round trip via three gate
ways Chicago, Peoria and St. Louis, to
Washington, D. C. '
Tickets on sale Sept. 13th to 20tb in
clusive, with final limit for return Oct.
For further iL formation apply to any
C , B. & Q. ticket agent, or to
H. D. Mack
Div. Pass. Agt.. Rock Islend, III.
P. S. Eutis.
Gen. Pass. Agt.. Chicago, 111.
Catarrh in Colorado.
I ustd Ely's Cream Balm for drv ca
tarrh. It proved a cure. B, F. M.
Ely's Cream Balm is especially adapted
as a remedv for catarrh which is aggra
vated by alkaline dust and diy winds.
W. A. Hover, druggist, Denver.
I can recommend Ely's Cream Balm to
all sufferers from dry catarrh from per
sonal experience. Michael Herr, phar
Ely's Cream Balm has cured many
cases of catarrh. It is in constant de
mand George W. Hoyt, pharmacist,
J Mamma I
n "for Clctrjes 9
VKWf -too -
$4.00 per Month for Ten years,
or $6.00 per Month for Six years
Pays Principal and Interest and seeures you
a Deed with Abstract of Title.
40 Lots Only
ON EACH PLAN. LOCATION 38th ST.
PRICES WILL BE ADVANCED.
Come early and secure choice locations and lowest prices
BUFORD & GUYER'S Addition.
Apply to J. M. Buford or E. H. Guyer.
J. B. ZIMMER,
-THE WELL KNOWN-
and Leader in Styles and workmanship, has received
his FaLL STOCK of Suitings and Overcoatings.
gCALL and leave your order.
Star Block Opposite Harper House.
J. T. DIXOJNT,
And Dealer in Men's Fine Woolens.
1706 Second Avenue.
1803 Second Avenue.
Proprietor of the Brady Street
IES O 3H3
Ail k nde of Cat Flowers constantly on band.
Green Honset- Flower Store
One block north of Central Park, the larcen 1' la. 804 Brady Street. Davenport. low.
B. F. DeGSAR,
Contractor eincL Builder,
OSce &ad Shop Corner Seven teen St. . . T T T r 1 o t-i H
anrl fWanth Avenue, AVOCK. XbltlUU
VP A.11 kinds of carpenter work a specialty Plana and estimates for all kinds of bnlldirjci
firniebeJ on application.
.2 1 jZzs
M I 1
Hnlcl w i Mi A w rK'
tf n xnarantee to cure nil rerronn diiMHixL rnirh W i k MpTiiory
J,H,f Brain Powtr Heivlache. Wakef ulm-ss, ltt Manhood. Nihtlr Km
pton. NVrrouneM. Lafriiude.alldrain and lops of power of the tit,rierattv
Oricans in either sex cattMM bf over exertion, youthful errorfi.or
: u of ttmcou, opium or stimulants which toon lead to lntirnjii v. Conftunip
i carry in vest novae.. B ."r par
er wi (rin a wrtfU n ?wrrii1rr to c'urt
s-v use or lonaoou, opium or suiauiants win
'VJvjliEW,; tin and Insanity. tut up convenient u. carry in vest pocket. 8l i
U3tt-Mtna fairs h m M) 1 r t fur H.V With rorv i nrrlr w rin a mffii niiitninfn
rut Lt,L. vr refund the trunuy. Circular free, .duress Acftc scedt o'., tbtcuft-o,
For lc in ttock island by Hartz & BahnBen. 3d Aveand 20th street.
avenport Business College,
COMPLETE IN ALL, DEPARTMENTS.
FOR CATALOGUE ADDRWS
J. C. DTJXf CAM , Proprie tcr.