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Published Daily and Weekly at 14 Second
Arenae, Rock I Bland. I1L
! W- Potter,
Tanas Dsily COc per month; Weekly tH.OO
per annum; in aarance f I .so .
All eommnnicattansof a critical or arsmmenta
tire character, political or religions, most have
teal name attached for publication. No each.
articles will be printed oyer fictitious signatures.
ImmiiiM MmmnnipiitWtfti tint noticed.
Ooirespondenee solicited from every township
la Bock island county .
Monday, September 28. 1892.
0BBOIRA1 1C XATIOSAL TICKET
Foe President GROVE R CI.BVELAND
Foe Vice President.. ..ADLA1 K. STKVENSoM
rorOovernor JOHN P. ALTGKLD
For Oonsrreseman at larwe JOHN C. BLACK
For Cong rvesman at large. ANDREW J. HUNTEK
For Lieutenant Governor JOSEPH B GILL,
ForSecreUry of State.. ..WM H HINKH'HHSKN
For Auditor DAVID GORE
For Treasurer ... KUFUS N. RAM8KT
For Attorney General M. T. MALONEY
For Elector, 11th Dirt J HHANIKY
FctC'odb; ess, 11th Ust TRUMAN PLANTZ
For Member Board of Kqualizat:on,
II. R. BAKTLESON
For Representative, Twenty-first Diet.
JOSEPH U, MULLIGAN
For State's Attorney ,....M. J. WcBNIRY
For Circuit Clerk PETER FKKY
For Coroner WISSLOW HOWARD
Macomb Eagle: Altgeld grows strc n
ger every day. We still predict that bis
plurality in Illinois will he 80.000.
The death of Col. P. 8. Gilmore the
great band leader at St. Louis Saturday
night will cause sorrow all over the world.
Col. Gilmore was admired for his person
al worth and whole-souled disposition, as
well as for his wonderful talents musi
cally speaking, and great will be the dis
appointment of those who had planned
to hear him once more on his projected
grand tour of the country which was
to be inaugurated at the close of his St
How They Will Vote.
The New York World has estimated
the probable result of the vote in the
principle states, as indicated by the re
tarns from Vermont and Maine, as fol
lows: Reckoning the changes in relative
strength of the great parties since 1983
by the ratios of the result in Vermont
In New York the democrats would
have a plurality of over 100,000.
In Massachusetts Harrison's plurality
of 33.037 would be wiped out and the
democrats would have a plurality of over
In Illinois the republican plurality of
$2,195 would be changed to a democratic
plurality of 43,935.
In Iowa the republican plurality of 31.
711 would disappear and Cleveland would
get a plurality of 6,000.
In Obio the democratic plurality would
In Michigan the democrats would win
by over 20.000.
In Wisconsin Cleveland would have a
plurality of 10.835 over Harrison.
In California the democratic plurality
would be over 15,500.
The states which would be left to the
republicans of those which voted in 1SS8
would be Maine, Vermont, Rhode Island.
Kansas, Minnesota, Nebraska, Colorado,
Nevada and Oregon. Of these Kansas,
Minnesota, and Nebraska nave in' state
and congressional elections since 1888
shown a revulsion against the republican
party, worse than that of Vermont last
week, while Colorado and Nevada are
probably lost to the republicans on tie
WHERE ARE THEYt
Bepnbllean Candidate In Sympathy with
the Knownothlnfr nd Itrg-clns; for the
Votes cf the Foreign Horn.
The attempt of Fifer, Kay, Tearson
and other candidates on the Republican
state ticket to hold the votes of the for
eign born and Catholic members of their
party while expecting the support of
the Knownothing organizations are in
volving them in a political snarl from
which there is no escape. So far as
Ray is concerned, lie is known to be an
active member of the Knownothing
society and a part owner of the society's
organ at Morris, his home. Fifer and
Pearson are suspected of being members
of the organization, and it is known
that letters promising compliance with
the principles of these societies have
been sent out from their offices. They
have been given away by some of their
enthusiastic Knownothing friends, who
are chuckling over the way the foreign
born and Catholic voters are being
fooled. Both these men are on their
Itnees to the Germans and Irish, and
are at the same time in close communion
with men who are organized under a
banner on which is inscribed, "No for
eign born or Catholic person shall vote
or hold office in this countrv."
It is such tactics as these so fearlessly
and properly exposed by Judge Altgeld
in bis speech bere that are constantly
opening the ejes of liberal minded re
publicans to the end toward which the
party is drifting. The dominant element
of the party bas long since assumed an
air of bigotry and narrow-mindedness, a
position supported entirely by a deter
mination to rule off the face of the earth
all who do not absolutely agree with
them. These attempts at proscription
ought to be exposed and made plain to
all liberal minded citizens. There is no
room for knownothingiem in these latter
days of intelligence and broad-minded
citizenship. The republican party and
its late off-shoot ought to be relegated to
the dark gea, as Judge Altreld so forci
bly declared. .
BOWSER AND BABY.
THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY THINKS
HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT IT.
There An Some Things, However, That
a Man Ioea Not Know, Even If Be
Thinks Be Does Mrs. Bowser to the
(Copyright, 1902. by Charles B. Lewis.
"If you are going to be home this even
ing I'd like to run in and see Mrs. Swift
for a few minutes." said Mrs. Bowser to
her liege lord, who sat reading his paper.
"You can go as well as not," he replied.
"If the baby wakes tip do you think you
can take care of him?
"Certainly. Run right along and stay
aa Ions as you will."
"If he should wake up, which he prob
ably won't, you"
"I'll h Ave .htm asleep again in two winks.
Don't you worry about us. It would be a
mighty curious father who couldn't take
care of his own baby for a quarter or an
"You won't be impatient with him!" she
asked an she was ready to go.
"Go on! I'm the most patient man on
the face of this earth, and you know itl
One would think from the way you talk
that I was in the habit of pounding him
against the walls."
Young Bowser was asleep in the baby
carriage in the back parlor. Mrs. Bowser
had been gone just three minutes when he
became restless, and Mr. Bowser pushed
the carriage around and began singing, "I
want to be an angel." He had just begun
on the third line when the kid opened his
eyes and sat up.
"How speedily a child recognizes the
presence of its father, even if fast asleep!"
said Mr. Bowser as be tenderly gazed at
his offspring. "Mrs. Bowser imagines
she's the only person on earth who knows
how to handle this young un, but I'll show
The kid suddenly put up a Hp and uttered
a dismal waiL
"Just so I see want to come to your
father's arms. All right, my boy come
He extended his arms with a smile, but
the wail broke into a howl and the child
"Don't want to get up, ehf All right,
my blossom. Cuddle down and think of
angels while I push you around and sing
The Old Kentucky Home.' Whatonearth
la all this row about!"
The kid's kicks became more vigorous
and his yells more enthusiastic, while his
face turned a strawberry color and his eyes
"Probably takes me for a stranger, and
I'd better lift him up and convince him to
the contrary," muttered Mr. Bowser as he
proceeded to carry out the idea.
The child kicked and struggled and
yelled, and thongb Mr. Bowser went gal
loping around the room and yelled "Hi!
Hi!" he failed to produce a diversion. He
stood before the mirror and bounced the
child up and down, but it was no go. He
sat down to rock, but the yells became
"Swallowed a thimble or a spool or the
tack hammer, probably, and wants turn
ing upside down. I've told Mrs. Bowser
more than a million"
CONVINCING THE BABY.
The kid was turned head downward, but
no thimble or spool or tack hammer was
dislodged from his gullot. If he had slyly
swallowed a section of garden hose or a
coal scuttle it was too late to recover them.
When this fact became apparent, Mr. Bow
ser changed end with him and began to
canter around. lie jumped over a chair,
jumped upon the lounge and off again,
kicked a footstool half way to the ceiling
and rushed back and forth through the
Japanese curtains in a way which took
three or four strands with him every time.
The boy let up fcr a minute, but only to
get a better hold When he turned on
steam again be lifted the neighbors off
their chairs, and every hair on Mr. Bowser's
head stood on end.
"Consarn him, but what on earth is the
matter!" shouted the father as he tossed
him in every direction. "I'll bet a dollar
to a cent that he's got a darning needle
sticking into his leg about fifteen rods! I've
warned Mrs. Bowser time and again that
she would be the death . Shut up! What
yon need, youug man, is a good dressing
down, and I'll give it to you in about ten
seconds! I won't wait ten seconds! I won't
waittwot I'll give it to you right off nowl"
But he didn't. There was a clattering of
feet, a rush through the hall, and as some
one snatched the child from his arms four
or five neighbors excitedly demanded in
formation. When they had departed, sat
isfied that no one had been killed. Mrs.
"Bow did he come to wake npf What's
the reason you couldn't pacify him!"
"Who do you refer tor" he icily replied.
"Why, to our child, of course."
"I don't know anything about 'our child,'
Mrs. Bowser! I have no child and I thank
heaven that I haven't! If you've been to
an orphan asylum and adopted a howling,
shrieking, boo-hooinK, bellowing, bald
beaded foundliug. then it's your business
to take care of him! I want nothing what
ever to do with him don't even want to
see him! Good night. Mrs. Bowser!"
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
The Editor Baa Some Bights of Bis
Take Notice. We own the only un
abridged dictionary in this state senatorial
district. We are always pleased to have
our fellow townsmen drop in and consult
the big volume when they get stuck over
any word, but of late we have been rushed
until we must take measures to protect
ourselves. A certain coterie, consisting
principally of old Joe Swipes, Nevada Tom,
Rocky Mountain Sam, Comanche Bill and
Half breed Jack, have got into the habit of
calling around at 2 o'clock in the morning
to consult Webster as to the spelling cf
"saleratus," "clothespin," "lemonade" and
other words of the sort. Last Saturday
night the gang came and knocked on our
door and wanted to rout us out to see now
"hyena" was spelled. We refused to be
routed, and some one of them heaved a
rock through our bedroom window and
came within an ace of smashing our head.
From and after this date our dictionary
will open at 8 o'clock a. m. and close at 0
p. m.. and after the latter hour no one
aside from a city or county official need
apply. The fact is, it doesn't make a par
ticle of difference how the old soakers
around here do their spelling. Not one in
a dozen can write their own names or get
through an auction bill, and their sudden
interest in Webster doesn't arouse our en
thusiasm a little bit. We have strapped a
double barreled shotgun to the bedpost.
and the next time an old bum comes pound
ing on our door to find whether "hyena"
has an "h" in it, or if "poker" is a word of
twosyllables.he will hear something rattle.
NOT OFFICIAL. His honor the mayor
(who is ourself) desires us to state that
his action of Sunday evening was not offi
cial, as Borne have accepted it, but solely
and entirely as a private citizen. He even
forgot for the moment that he was editor
and proprietor of THE Kicker. He was sit
ting in a chair in front of the Golden Pal'
he plated with nra.
ace hotel discussing the presidential cam
paign with Colonel Highbanks, who has
just returned from a trip to Chicago, when
a mule whacker who had come in with the
wagon train Saturday morning, and was
half drunk and aching for a row, came
along the avenue. Deceived by his hon
or's humble demeanor and Quakerish ap
pearance the whacker stopped and pulled
his nose. As the awful cyclone scoots over
the wide prairie as the fiery thunderbolt
dashes itself against the tall Cottonwood
as the waters of a bursted reservoir rush
madly dewn the ravine to wreck and de
stroy whatever lies in their path, his
honor dropped Cleveland and Harrison and
picked up the insnlter. He mauled him.
He pounded him. He pulverized him.
He played with him. He left him a total
wreck on the sands of the street The
man isn't dead yet. The doctors say that
be may linger along for months or even
get well, but he will be so changed that
even his own mother won't know him.
His eyes will stare into vacancy, his under
jaw drop down, and his countenance will
wear the look of one choking to death on a
piece of beefsteak and seeing a ghost at
the same time. The only remembrance
he will ever have of the affair will be a
hazy suspicion that he happened along
just as a volcano belched forth and
changed the entire face of the country for
a thousand miles around.
LOOK FOR TOE "X." Two weeks previ
ous to the expiration of your subscription
you will find a blue pencil "X" marked on
the margin of your paper. Two weeks
after your subscription has expired and
nothing is heard from the "X" you will
very likely hear from us. We shall rido
up on our mule ami demand to know why
you haven't renewed. It's a habit we fell
into during the first year of editorial life,
and we shall continue it indefinitely. We
never bulldoze for advertising or subscrip
tions, but when an advertiser or subscriber
attempts to drop out of sight we want to
know his reasons. e want to know
wherein we have not pleased and satisfied.
We shall start out next week to look up
ten or twelve expired subscribers and may
be out of town a couple of days. Two of
them have sent in a defi and may have to
be enfiladed out of an earthwork, while
three others are prepared to start for the
mountains and may hare to le run down.
Straight Business. Our annual dead
head pass over the P. and D. stage line
from here to the railroad ami return ex
pired three weeks ago, and Colonel Baxter
bas not seen fit to renew it. If the colonel
does not send us a new pass, good for one
year, and do it within a week, we shall
open on his old ramshackle coaches and
skinny horses in a way to tnaV? his heart
palpitate. One reason why we selected
journalism instead of law was on account
of the deadhead passes attached to the for
mer profession. Some editors are a little
tender on this point, but we do not belong
to that class. V. e know our rights, sancti
fied by long established custom, and we
are bound to have them. Like most other
newspapers. The Kicker is continually
puffing and praising and lying to the pub
lic fur the benefit of stage lines, railroads
and other enterprises, and we are not un
reasonable in expecting free passes. If
Later We stop the press to announce
that the colonel has forwarded the afore
said pass, and next week we shall have in
article laudatory of this speedy, convenient
and comfortable stage line, which cannot
be too liberally patronized by our fellow
Why Be Cut Uncle John.
I was talking with a colored mau who
drove a dray waen a spruce looking young
colored man came along and called out:
"Howdy, Uncle John! How's all de folk
dis fine weather?"
The drayman looked at him in a cold.
calm way and made no reply.
DO AN' TOO DUN GO AN MAKE A MEWL
"What's got across yo' now!" demanded
the other as he halted and returned.
"Who who dat speakin to me!"
"It's me, sah."
"What's yo'r name, sahf"
"Now, Uncle John, doan' yon dun go an
make a mewl of yo'self 1" continued the
young man. I knows what's de matter
wid yo and I'ze yere to 'splain all about it.
U13 mawnin I was drivin a gemlan in a
We met yo' down by de ile milL
"Yo riz yo'r hat to me. Uncle John, but
i didn't pay no tenshun to yo'."
"No. sah. vo' didn't!"
"But why. Uncle John but why? Fur
de reason that the gem'lan in my keerldge
was a drummer from St. Louis, an if I had
riz my hat to yo he'd hev said to me,
'Boy, who is dat ole nigger wid a mouf big
'nuff to take in dis hull county f An I'd
hev to tell him yo' was Uncle John Bray-
ton, an he'd hev wanted yo r photograph
as a curiosity, an he'd dun put yo' in de
papers an had all dem people np norf
makin de powerf ulest kind o' ridicule o'
yo'. It was to save yo, Uncle John it
was to save yo' from the dimcultest sort o
difficulty dat I didn't riz my hat when
yo' riz yo'rs. Can't yo' recognize de cir-
culashun o my distressed emDarrasa-mentf"
Uncle John recognized, and the pair
shook hands, and the chasm was duly
She Was Grateful.
We were nearing Jacksonville, Fla.. after
the long trip from New York. The porter
had finished brushing off a mother and her
four children, each 'one of whom had de
manded attention every fifteen minutes,
when the woman turned and said:
"You have been very attentive to us dur
ing the trip, and I wish to reward you."
"What is your name?" she asked, as she
took out pencil and notebook.
"William White, mum."
She wrote for a minute on one of the
leaves of her book, and then tore it out and
handed it to him with the remark:
"A colored man who is ambitious to get
along will always find friends."
I caught him in the vestibule two min
utes later and asked to see the paper. It
"Mil Pullman Your man, William
White, has been very attentive to me and
my children, and I would recommend that
you raise his salary and let him know that
yon fully appreciate his efforts.
"Mrs. S. B ."
I rend it aloud to the porter and then
looked at him. He turned a sort of gray
and gasped for breath, and it was a long
minute before he could ejaculate:
"Uefo de Lawd! but I dun thought dat
was a fifteen dollar check on some bank in
Jacksonville. Hut Shoo! Wall, of all de
deleterious obnoxiousness I eber did dun
meet up wid in all my life dis captivates de
Be Was No Philosopher.
I was talking with the colored man who
was sweeping out the corridor of the post
office when a young man of his color came
along and beckoned to him to step aside.
The old man looked at him sharply, but
did not comply.
"Say, yo'!" called the yoti- tn.tn.
There was no reply to tL and after a
minute he called again.
Boy! what yo' wants wid me?" sternly
demanded the old man.
I wants to speak wid yo."
Yo know who I Is. Yo' is dun engaged I
to my sister Evangeline." I
"Oh! yo is her brudder Sam. Waal.
what yo' want?"
Kin yo lend me ten cents?"
On what grounds, tab?"
On de grounds dat yo is gwine to be
my brudder-in IyJka"
"Boy! Doan' jo Know nuffin 'tall 'bout
philosophy!" shouted the old man as he
raised his broom over his shoulder. "My
bein engaged to yo'r sister Evangeline as a
private citizen aa my standin heah repre
sents de United States guv'ment, an
talkin wid a gem'lan besides, am two en
tirely different contestasbuns! As yo'r
fucher brudder-in-law I'd like to obleege
yo', but as a representative of dis guv'ment
I doan know yo' from Adam, an if yo' doan
move on I'll hev to smash yo to bone dust!"
Travelers are seldom without topics for
complaint. If everything else fails they
can at least fall back upon bad food and
Mr. Klson, in his "European Reminis
cences," mentions a man who declaimed
against Pisa as the wettest of cities.
"Why," said he, "twenty years ago I left
Pisa and it was raining. I come back and
it is raining still!"
Mr. Elson is sarcastic, but he is not be
yond a little fault finding on his own ac
count. His great trouble was at Rotterdam.
"The weather reminded me of home,"
he says. "If ever a meteorological bureau
is started in Holland its reports will run
about as follows:
'Cold and clear, followed by warm and
rainy, interspersed with thunder showers.
followed by lights frosts, after which the
weather will become changeable."
History tells of many military heroes
who were as modest as they were brave.
An extreme instance of this combination
of qualities was the character of General
The general was, in the opinion of the
venerable Field Marshal D'Azemberg, so
distinguished and so absurdly modest that
he deserved a rebuke.
One day when the two men were having
an audience with the queen of Hungary,
Langdon having stepped aside for a mo
ment, the queen said, "Why. where is Gen
'Madam," replied the field marshal, "he
Is no doubt hiding behind the door, fright
ened at his bravery." Youth'a Companion.
Bound to Be Good.
Notions ago there lived in Pennsylvania
an old lady who was celebrated for having
a famous breed of turkeys.
On one occasion she sold one of these to a
gentleman named Brown. When cooked
and served up at table it was found to be
so tough as to be quite uneatable. Meeting
the old woman a short time arterward, Mr.
Brown said to her:
"What did ye mean by selling your tur
key to me?"
"What was wrong about it?"
"It wasn't good at all." said the gentle
man. "No good? It was bound to be good. It
won the first prize for eleven years at cattle
shows." Boston Globe.
One Way to Save.
Plug Do you want to know how to save
Slug You bet I do.
Plug Lend me ten and I'll give half of
it back to you in five minutes. New York
What Kind Things Some Folks 8ayl
Miss Joyce Yes, Jack and I are to be
come partners for life. " " '
Miss Means And you will be the senior
partner. How nice! Boston Globe.
MY Grocer put me onto
SAM ' ,
and it does jut
wfyai re clalrrjs for Hi
Ack your GrocerfcriL
and insist op reaving" rt.
THE BEST SOAP MADE
TOR ALL HOUSEHOLD PURPOSES.
MADE. ONLY BY
MtCFAlRBANK & CO. Chicago.
Patronize Home Industry and Protect the Labor of America
- MERRICK'S SPOOL COTTON. -
It Is Slx.Cord Soft Firifb. Fall tsesture, sad is eqnslly well alspts.l for Hand sad Mach ne
Sewing. For sale bv
and Dry Good Bone generally.
MERRICK THREAD CO.. 205 Firth Avenue, Chicago
$4.00 perfVIo nth for Ten years.
or $6.00 per month for Six years
Pays Principal and Interest and seeures you
a Deed with Abstract of Title.
ON EACH PLAN. LOCATION 38th ST.
PRICES WILL BE ADVANCED.
Come early and secure choice locations and lowest prices
BUFORD & GUYER'S Addition.
Apply to J. M. Buford or E. H. Guyer.
And Dealer in Alen's Fine Woolens.
1706 Second Avenue.
1803 Second Avenue.
Proprietor of the Brady Street
Ail lends of Cat Flowers constantly oa band.
Green Honses- - Flower Store
One block north of Central Park, tbs largest in la. SO Brady Street. Davenport. Iowa.
" B. F. DeGEAR,
Contractor and Builder,
Office and Shop Corner SeTeBtoeBt 8. . . T ,..!, TC0H
nl Hernia ATevua. .w..u.
' all Mads of carpenter work a specialty. Plans and est 1b a tea for all kinds ef bnlldlsr
'rli a application. .
cm rr. to enrt all nfrroo dlManes. such as W.n Memory.
Loo( Krain Power, Hesdscbe. Wakefalnen, Lcmt Mtnbooi). Nmhllv Kmi
n. Nprroasncsi. TuMaiiucle. all drain an! loss t iowerf the Ot'mrmtie
Organs in either sx caose-t hj over exertion, youthful err-.. r f-xce.t.e
use tr toliswo. opium or stimulants which soon lead to lntlrmi!. C'n"urap
.thin and lnan:t.. fct op con.enient ti carry in Test xMket. i -r
'SLff hrm.i':(ifiirK. Wllh ever. i, nrrter -e ttt-r a twmtlrn ti nt'f toc'tri
""" "tTKat!siito. orrctundtlutrumey. Circular free. Href ft'erre (seed o., (blim 111.
For me in Rock island by Hartz & Babnsen. 81 Ave .'and 20th street.
)avenport Business College,
COMPLETE IN ALL DEPARTMENTS.
FOR CATALOGUE ADDBEW
J. C. DUNCAN, Proprietor.