Newspaper Page Text
rHETSRGUS, MONDAY, SEPTEMI3EK 25, 1893.
pa:-.i ? Fecur.se it
., r.U oa.fr points, c've a
". by.:-?- rt -t:'n to
: ' t i.rs: c ; ; I t .'cf s.
.' , ;. o:ur . - 'trintr (f
7 - "just p.s j cod " ; s
. VV1:::-' LcaJ. v.-ry ote ail
;..V:d whe leaci always
.5 a heavy white pcder
i. v-crthlcss as c faint,
, ;r ?!c::t a cent a potirri. end
V to thcaren t'i rr.i::Tre.
: v- is r? ':.-.::., D::-C:. i:
5? " " ' " - ' .j
r;! r .. ..j... of w h.te k-aw.
' !. Co.'s
-: - (; p 1 1 -1 it v 'I ,-.v you
i.TIONAL LEAD CO.,
IABLE 'AND ON 2 Of THE
;.$T KvOWS SPECIALISTS
rj; THE UNITED STATES.
p ; i . n 1 rrowdiMl. hvery body
NOT THE RIGHT WAY.
THE EDITOR OF THE KICKER SAYS
HE IS WILLFULLY MISJUDGED.
j " .'Uv.tg j
DR. D. D. REA,
irt on and Specialist
bi- :t- I u li h --atinn in and nrnnnii
(jl vt ru- t-i that almost b.rTW
t i. rriTtrv'y if the r untry, and by the
nun;. tr:L aiid i-atient- hi has de
It tin Harper House,
EIDAY, SEPT. 29th.
5iin' fvi'i'v month d uri iicr the
vi ar. ti remain a day.
t i :. ! hvon e'limcf.-d with the I:irccst
;h-' country, anil ha no snperior in
i-'! tr-;itins i:lc .i and deforms
I 'Wi;: 2ivt' 'it fur any case he cannot tull
it . ac.l whfr locat in five mioutt'9.
1 -t" :rn to Kock liand every month to re
'day. t' all nnlilc medical and snrzical din.
4 it and chronic catarrh, i.iseajes of the
a'.l r.ote. th oat am tur.fr!. Sjspcpia,
i:'a'. dlsnelef. kidncye. liver, bhul
r.i f. male nd w xual diseases. Epilep
curedl A positive gnarantecl
uns anil fuddlr-Aged IHrn
trim spermatorrhoea and impotency aa
t of self-abnsc in youth or ciren in mi.
scd other causes, producing some of
enoci?, an emissions, blotchee.de
vni.nos", dizziness, confusion of ideas,
of society, defective niemorT and rexnal
is, which unfit the vie lims for business
i.e. are permanently cured by remedies
HI.MMt anil sikm lilHeaMex.
i aid complications, as sore throat,
th- hair, pain in the bones, etc., are
' Ttd:cated attthont using mercury or
ir a eruns (ionorrhoia. jrleet. stric-
urimry and kidney troubles speedi
'7 treatment that bis never failed. He
"- m. ircirable cases, but cares thous
r' :;'t idie Remember the date and
Tiv. ns his rooms re always crowded
r h- s'tj
J 'L"LTATI()N FREE.
... i..nr,. e liciferl and contldential.
""r. I'. I). KEA, Sii Paulina, Street
'IIEN YOU VtMT
I IBLJ'S FAIR
not forget to eee the ex-
it of the General Elec-
Company in ;the Elec-
(-'y Building, the Intra-
ral Ilailway equipped
;h General Electric Com-
"y'a apparatus, the,Elec-
Launch es equipped
" Geiu-ral Electric Com-
"3 ''s motors, and the Gen-
' Elctiic company's Arc
;Uting Piant aiia Power
iratora iu Machinery
Just Becmnse Attends a Few Sporting
Events Now id 1 Then It No Reason Why
the Eastern Papers Should Call Him to
Copyright, IS B, by Charles B. Lewts.
UXJIST Ceitk ism. The mayor of this
town (who is ourlf) is being criticised by
certain eastern p triers for attending boxing
matches, horse mces and dog finhts. One
publication goes so fur as to declare that
we ought to be in. peached, and two or three
others gravely inquire what will be the re
sult of such an nwftil example. We think
the criticisms mi -ailed for and unjust. We
never attended any of these exhibitions in
our official capacity. We simply meet the
postmaster, presidentof the common coun
cil, judge of pn bate and a deputy I'nited
States marshal it a place agreed on, and
then all go as i rivate citizens having the
best interests of this community at heart.
As to the wicke lness of such exhibitions
we fail to see it. From the creation of the
world men havet-crapped, dogs have fought,
and the mustang and cayuse have struck a
gait. It swms rather late iu the day to
get up a row over it now.
When a man is elected to office in the
east, he has to put on a long tailed coat and
surrender all his personal privileges in the
effort to mainta n the dignity of his office.
It is not so here. He may buy another gun
and get up a little earlier to practice left
hand shooting, 1 ut no radical change is to
be observed. Only one man has been killed
in this town in i he last eight months, and
he had lived a yi ar too long. We have hail
only one robier in a year, and a case of
official corruptii n has never been heard of.
Our iHinker is so honest that he permits a
committee to co int the cash and figure on
his assets and l abilities, and stray mules
are taken up anil fed on gilt edged oats un
til their ownersuppear. If we prefer to live
this way, it's n outsider's business. As
mayor of this town we could bankrupt itln
a week. In our official capacity we could
rob taxpayers, j et the aldermen shooting
at. each other, me the charter for gun wad
ding and parah re all public business. If
we prufer a qui. t dog fight or a humble
horse race, from which we always go home
thinking better. f the world at large, that's
our privilege, ai.d we propose to maintain
it as long as we can see to shoot.
BitoKK His Wortn. On Tuesday last we
got word that a Cincinnati alderman who
is making a tour of the west would arrive
in town Wednesday noon and stop with
us24 Lours. Nat tirally enough, we wanted
things to more oil si:!,.,,;lily while he was
here anil knowing that old Hill Itcnshaw
was i:i town v e hunted him up to ask a
favor. Old Bill is one of the meanest, can-tankernu.-est
o!e critters iu tlio universe
and ouyht to hiiveieen planted and fu-got-teii
years ago. About once n month lie
gets on a cyclone drunk and insists on rid
ing around the ltiblic sijuareat full gallop,
yelling and sho. .ting as he goes. As he has
never killed anybody yet we hare not inter
fered with bin , but fearing an outbreak
while the aide -man was here we hunted
him up and asked as a special favor that
he refrain froi l the circus business,. The
WE PLAYFULLY EXPLAINED TIIE CAfsE.
old cuss promised us in the most solemn
and impressiv-j manner that he would do
bo, but we oujht to have locked him up
instead of taking his word.
Wednesday evening at 8 o'clock, after
showing the Buckeye around town, we took
him to the mayor's office in the city hall
for a general introduction to our leading
citizens. We had only introduced him to
two or three r ersons when a hoot and a
yell and a fusillade announced that old Bill
had fcot his ter t up and his circus perform
ance started. In 30 seconds the Ohio man's
hair was standing np. In 30 more his eyes
bulged out anil his chin couldn't keep still.
We playfully explained the cause of the
uproar and assured him that old Bill was
perfectly hart iless, but we were yet en
gaged in the soothing act when the aged
reptile, as if t give the lie to our asser
tions, turned his guns loose on the windows
sof our office. It was deemed an act of pru
dence on the p vt of everybody to get down
on the floor, and for five minutes old Bill
had the long end of the lever.
The situation might have become painful
had not Providence interfered. In making
a circuit old Hill ran his mule head first
against a telegraph pole and killed him as
dead as a ston while the shock threw the
rider out of the saddle and rendered him
unconscious fi r 20 minutes. When he came
to, we bad him in the lockup, and we'll lie
hanged if he doesn't roost right there for
the next year to come, law or no law! No
explanations 've could make would satisfy
our visitor or bring the color back to his
face. He insisted that such actions were
beyond the pale of civilization, and despite
all we could say he hired a rig and was
driven over to the railroad that night. The
English language cannot fitly express our
sorrow and caagrin, and the entire com
munity feels that way. The only satisfac
tion we can get is in keeping old Bill Ren
haw in jail until he is obliged to drink
water and tell the truth, and the lawyer
who interfere? with the programme will
want wings Before he is through with the
A FAT MAN'S ESCAPE.
Be Thought of Starting a Taper, but He
About 10 Miles before we reached the
western terminus of the railroad a brisk
little man cat le aboard the train and passed
a business cai d into the hand of every pas
senger, sayinj; as he did so:
"Don't tbrc w it away and make the mis
take of your life. We do a cash business
on the very closest margin."
The card bo re the legend: "James French,
the only first; class undertaker in Hulf-way-up.
Bodies embalmed and shipped to
any part of the country on short notice. A
large stock ol coffins always on hand. No
extra charge in case of mangled remains. I
own the only graveyard in town, but will
, sell Iota at must reasonable figure. P. S.
The' personal effects of deceased persons
lorwaruea to relatives by express."
Tho'e was a general howl of indignation
from the passengers as they read their
cards, and when the brisk little man came '
back into the car the fat man with the red j
iu uuut ui me y e u t, lor
"Look here, sir, but what do you mean
"Straight business, my friend," was the
"I never heard of such a thing before!"
"Have you ever heard of the town of
Half Way Up?" softly asked the little man.
"Of course I have and am going there
"Exactly. Going to stay more'n a min
ute?" "I may stay 10 years."
"Bet you 50 to 1 you don't not above
ground! Here's 10 to 1 you are shot in
less'n a week! If so, please give us a call.
Send you anywhere in the country."
"Is is there anything vfroug with the
town?" queried the fat man as a change
came over him.
"No, the town is all riirht. hut ws'vs
buried 17 men in the last 14 days, and there
were two ready to plant when i came awav
at noon. Town all right and business boom
ing. Don't lose the card and please give
directions how to ship."
tint see here, my friend. I I"
"Can't stoi: You mnr escane. but the
chances are t hat you'll be shot. We hare
no competition, but practice no extortion.
First come first served, you know."
"But I'm going to Half Way Up to start
a weekly tiewspaiH-rl" protested the fat
man as he followed the other down the
The blank you are!" shouted the brisk
little man. "Then take five orsixofour
cards, for you'll ben corpse within 24 hours.
The boys had killed two editors and were
"DET YOl- 50 TO 1 YOU DON'T!"
chasing the other one up a gully when I
took the train. If he got away from them,
the grizzlies will eat him up tonight."
1 he fat man reached the town with the
rest of us. but never left the depot till the
train pulled out fur the east, six hours
later. It was just as well for him, for five
men were shot on the street that night, and
at daylicht a dozen of the Iwiys went down
to the depot and yelled at the ticket agent:
-Now, then, trot out that blamed old
redheaded ropt ile who has come here to
sot up a printin foundry and tell us that
we can't run the hull durned kentrr!"
HE KNEW THE FOLKS.
A Country Where a Stranger Was at a De
Half an hour before sunset I came along
to where a very lonesome looking man was
sitting on a stump in front of a dilapidated
log cabin and asked him if 1 could put up
for the night.
"I wouldn't advise it, stranger," he
kindly replied. "Me'n the old woman has
bin fightin fur the last three days to see
who was boss, and as we haven't got the
question settled yet you'd better not mix
"How's the next cabin?"
"Waal, Thompson lives thar, and as he
got beat in a lawsuit yesterday and is out
with a gun today waitin to pop somebody
you'd better edge past Thompson's."
"And the next?"
"Waal, the widJer Blake lives thar and
has bin hevin the jumpin toothache for
the last two days. As she kin kill a boss
with one blow of her fist when she hain't
got no toothache at all, I think you'd bet
ter dodge her."
"Anything wrong with the next cabin?"
"Let's see. Jim Taylor lives in the
next, and arter him comes Keube Hope.
Taylor he got his leg broke in a wrasslin
match the other day, and Keube he is ex
pectin to be shot by a feller he cheated in
a boss trade. I don't 'spose either of 'em
would feel like puttin you up for the
" What does a stranger do for lodgings
in these parts?" I asked as I saw that he
felt for me.
"Waal, they ginerally stops with me,
you see, and I make everything as pleas
ant as possible."
"But you said you couldn't take me in!"
"That's what I said, and I'm sorry fur it.
Tou see, I'm ginerally the boss of this 'ere
"TOU'D BETTER NOT MIX IN."
roost, but occashunally the ole woman
makes an effort to wrest the scepter from
my hands. She's got a heap o' grit and
hits hard, aud the scepter wobbles around
fur two or three days. It's wobblin now,
and you'd git hurt if you mixed in. If you
want to turn into the woods over thar', I'll
lend ye a hoss blanket and smuggle ye out
some cornbread, but that's the best I kin
do. Powerful sorry, you know, but I've
got to hold on to that scepter or be trod
into the airth."
I halted when 40 rods away to look back.
The wife had come out into the road, and
the struggle for that scepter was raising
such a cloud of dust that the setting sun
was totally obscured.
It Was at Niagara.
She was a proud, imiieluous girl and
could brook no opposition, while he was
imperious and egotistical and never took
bock anything. They were at Niagara falls
with her paw and maw just a week before
j the day set for their marriage. They sat
' alone on the battlement at the extreme end
of Prospect park, and by and by she looked
up and said:
"George, why do the vexed waters froth?"
"They don't," he promptly answered;
"But it's the same thing."
"Oh, no. There's a large distinction be
tween froth and foam. You get one with
soda water and the other with beer about
3 cents' worth to the glas."
"George. d'Arcy. the waters froth!" she
indignantly exclaimed as her beautiful
eyes flashed like fireflies on a dark night.
"THEN, SIR, FAREWELL!"
"Helena Mont marte, the waters foam!"
he sturdily replied as he fished for another
"Then, sir, farewell! We could not lire
happily together. I will seek some frothy
young man who will try to make my life
happy, and you can probably find a foamy
young woman with no opinions of her
And so they parted forever. For one brief
moment the great cataract ceased to pour
and to roar and to froth and foam. Then it
resumed business with renewed energy,
and broken hearts and tears of regret and
wrecked lives flowed on as liefore.
it Opens the Eyes
"My daughter is lostng her sight," said an
anxious mother, "and just on the exeof marriage,
too! What shn 1 I do?" "Let her get married,
by all means." responded he doctor; "marriage
is a regular e; e opener " A man's eyes open
pretty widely, wh -n he finds his wife's chaims
disappearing. Health is the best friend of beauty,
and the innumi rob e -lis t which women are pe
cul arly subject, its wnrst ennn.ines. Experience
proves that women who possess the best health,
use Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. It la the
only mediciue for womor, sold by druggists, un
der a pos:tive jruurantee irom the mannfactaicrs.
that it will give satisfacti.n in ivery case, or
money wi'l be refund!. This guaran'ee has
been printed on the bitt'.e wr ip;ier. hnd faith
fully cm red out for m .ny jear.
AH Th :t Was N.T.ssar.v.
"H.iveyon iaki u any precautious against
"Well, what hare you done?"
"Got my husband to make his will."
Tribune de Geneve.
The Greater. Valn-t
You fret the preatest value out of a
silver quarter when purchasino; a
package of isimmons Liver Regula
tor powder. There is nothing like it
for indigestion or constipation. Take
it dry on the tongue or make a tea.
You'll afterwards take it in prefer
ence to pills.
For Over Fift Years
Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup has
been used for children teething. It
soothes the child, softens the gums
allays all pain, cures wind colic, and
is the best remedy for diarrhoea
Twent v-five cents a bottle.
Fits All fits stopped free by Dr
Kline's Great Nerve Restorer. No
fits after the first day's use. Marvel
ous cures. Treaise and $2 trial lot
tie free to tit cases. Send to Fr
Kline, 931 Arch street, Philadelphia
Pa For Bale by nil druggists; call
and how to attain it.
At last a mc lical work that tells the causes,
describes the eflo :t, points the remedy. This
Is scientifically the most valnable, artistically
the most beautiful medical book that has ap
peared for years; 93 pasos every page bearing
a half-tone illustration in tints. Borne of the
subjects treated are Nervous Debility, I m po
tency. Sterility, Dsvclopement. Varicocele,
The Ilusbcnl, Those intending Marriage, etc.
Every man who would know the grind truths,
the p'ain f3ts. the old secrets, and the new
discoveries of medical sc ence as applied to
marrl d life, h i w mid atone far past follies
and avoid future pitfalls should write for this
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under seal Address the publishers.
Erie Medical Co.. Buffalo, N. Y.
A sew and Complete Treatment, consisting of
suppositories. Ointment in Capsule, also in Box
and Pills; A Positive Cure for External, Blind or
Bleedins Itching, Chronic, Recent or Hereditary
Piles, Pemalk weaknesses and manv other dis
eases; it is always a great benefit to the general
health. The first discovery of a medical cure ren
dering an operation with the knife unnecessary
hereafter. This Kemedv has never been known
to fall, tl per box. 6 for Sn; sent by mall. Why
suffer from this tcrriable disease when a written
guarantee is positivly given with bottles, to re-
tuna me money u not curea. send stamp for
free sample. Guarantee iaahsd by oar agent.
JAPANESE LIVER PELLETS
Acts like magic on the Stomach, Liver and B.w
els; dispels Dyspepsia, Biliousness, Fever, Colds.
Nervous Disorders.Sleenlessnes8.Los. of Anoctite.
restores the compleclion ; perfect digestion fol
lows their nse. Positive cure for Sick Headache
and Constipation. S mall, mild, easy to take. Large
Vials of 50 Pills 25 cents.
UARTZ 1 1JLLMKYER Sole Agents Bock lsW
Cor. Michigan Ave and Monroe St. CH CAGO.
THOROUGH INSTRUCTION- CHEAP BOARDINC
El3nTlirroo!(.'i'din(j TW--vrrw n i
Castoria is Dr. Samuel Pitcher's prescription for Infants
and Children. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor
other Narcotic substance It is a harmless substitute
for Paregoric, Drops, Soothing Syrups, and Castor OIL
It is Pleasant. Its guarantee i thirty years' use by
Blillions of Mothers. Castoria destroys Worms and allays
feverishness. Castoria prevents vomiting Sour Curd,
cures Diarrhoea and Wind Colic. Castoria relieves
teething troubles, cures constipation and flatulency.
Castoria assimilates the food, regulates the stomach,
and lowels, giving healthy and natural sleep.. Cas
toria is the Children's Panacea the Mother's Friend.
"Castoria is an excellent medicine for chil
dren. Mothers have repeatedly told me of its
good effect upon their children."
Dr. G. C. Osgood.
Castoria is the best remedy for children of
which I am acquainted. I hope the day Is not
far distant when mothers will consider the real
interest of their children, and use Castoria in
stead of the various quack nostrums which are
destroying their loved ones, by forcing opium,
morphine, soothing syrup and other hurtful
agent down their throats, thereby sending
them to premature graves."
Da. J. F. Kihche:ob,
' Castoria is so well adapted to chfldren thai
I recommend it as superior to any pi ten iptaoo
known to me."
H. A. Archer, M. D,
Hi So. Oxford St., Brooklyn, K. Y.
" Our physicians in the children's depart
ment have spoken highly of vbeir expsst
ence in their outside practice with Castoria,
and although we only have among oar
medical supplies what is known as regular
products, yet we are free to confess that the
merits of Castoria has won us to look with
favor upon it."
United Hosfttai. asid Dispeksart,
Aixeh C Smith, Pres.,
The Centaur Compavny, TT Murray Street, New York City.
TEE MOLINE WAGON,
The Moline Wap Co,
iSanulacturers ol FARM, SPRING AND FREIGHT WAGONS
A rail and complete line of Platform and other Spring Wagons, especially aaaptea to the
i estern trade, of superior workmanship and finish Illustrated Price List free on
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Heating and Ventilating Engineers,
Gas and Steam Fitting,
a complete line oi Hpe, Brass Goods, Packing Hose,
Fire Brick Etc. Largest nd best equipped
establishment west of Chicago.
DA Via bjluuo. Moline, HI. I 1 12. 1 14 West Seventeenth et.
Telephone 2053. Telephone 1148. 'BockUlan
Reirlfinoe lDhnn 1 1 68'
Everything in the line of epriog vehicles, and the
largest assortment of
Harness, Laprobes, Whips, Etc.
Mason's Carriage Works,
East Fourth Street. - - DAVENPORT, IOWA.
B. F. DeGEAR,
Contractor eincL Builder.
Office and Shop 225 Eighteenth Street
ROCK ISLAND, ILL.
"All kinds of Carpenter work a specialty.' Plans and estimateVfor all kinds of buildings
furnished on application.
Carpenter and Builder,
OFFICE, NO: 2821 SIXTH AVENUE,
Shop on Vine Street BOCK ISLAND, ILL.
If-; . .
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