Newspaper Page Text
3j4 ATOM WDM
D By Goodloe
NOW, eb'rybody ought to know dey'i welkim at kiln hi,
So pitch right in in' he'p yo'aelbt to eb'ryt'ing yo' tee.
Jet' lUht dem biikiti goin' round', ío' dat'i yo' job, ol' man,
An' ehate dem wif de tweet pertater quick ' dey Itab yo' ha'.
(Now, Mom, yo' ihow yo' mannaht 'fo' deie folki, fr Ah tell yo
Daih'll be chile go hongry, an' he'll frit lirkin' too).
Heah, Onrle Dan, it de poss-m meat Ah'i lookin' aftah dat
An' heah't a piece enpeth'ly yotiahi, all brown an' streaked wif fat.
WHA'S dat de graby t Don' yo' fret; it't comin' right np daih,
An' nch! W'y, dat air pon urn fat enough, I do declaih,
To mek enough er gTaby fo' de ma'chin' Iirultte.
Reah, Rev'rnd Mutah Fe'guton, be tuah yo' gets yo' right.
De imell am iweet f W'y, man, yo' tat' an' den I bet yo' ihout
An' mek de nrighboht wondah wha' de fuit am all about.
Reah'i little Eph. Now, chile, 1 1 aabed yo' lumpin' nice an' tweet.
Wha'tdutf Oood lan'! Dit boy it tayin' h don' lak potium meat.
"NOW FO' DE
HE aaitr he don' lak possum meat, an' him a ton o' mine!
Now, honey, tuhn to all drte folki an' knowledge up yo't lyin'.
Mek out t'ui jet' a 11 1 joke to aggervate yo' ma,
Or, 'ciar' to goodnett, Ah'i jet' boun' to whup yo' till yo't raw!
To' tpeak de trufe, yo' liT imp! Den wha t yo' doin' heah
A-aettin' up wif aiggah folkt to mek yo'te'f appcah
A Biggah, too, when eb'ry one kam tell, in tpite youah black,
Bat tuhnin' 'way film pottum meat yo' ain't de honet' fackl
WELL, dere, yo' pa taiie nebbah min', bekaae yo't tuch a mite;
Dat "tain't youah fault yo' tum'ayt miued youah nachul appetite
Bel' out yo' plate; dere't plenty mo' to fill a chile lak yo'.
De good Lawd mek yo' tuhtain wayt. Ah tpote, dat'i got to do.
Bat, Ian'! Ah t 'feared yo' grow up wrong an' mebbe be a thame
To all de cullahd circle an' de 'tperted fam'ly name,
Fo' ebbah aenoe Ah't ol' enough to ttan' upon ma feet
Ah't t'pishoned any niggah dat would tuhn f'um posaum meat.
ItldlMitll iW II M ll .1 I ll ' Mi H
tile smooth f I Í - - l 4 1 l
SlloM ptolttill'V t i .i -.tiltil 'i, , (
lur In In. ti li.' i it . In . i ' i.i I i
ii I) in h I urn i m i -1 ' ' . 1 1 .'.
thai Ni M in i ii ii i . i i :
w ho fiisl ti i4 i ii in ii i,, i ii. ,.t , i .
gvr m. i,ni.i ,i iiiii. i.i M
antl i I.. ,i I nit- .ii , i. i i in
then . m-i iliii tli ievt ..I ,
SBaJoi.lt not lit i,i iiM.lrii'l . :i
ought In hill. i. -in ,' ii tv, , i l i,.;i i
lag i.i nun,. (in, un i un i
flllil K.lll III.- ..Il.ll.l llii,- I
gttllif f limti of tl we ijii !i
belti-l mil )cl III ;.ii l-i i
for nut i i'iHi'I na ' mi iinir In if
Uttlit) llli iiiin.fi
Trawblti f ' P19U1.
1 H "I l . II ' Hill lit,' lili) .
fort i. ( 1 l, (i,-. 1.
tullir T 1, nt 11.. I I.i I in !i, . 1
IL I ll l.HMV. ll III 4 H.I llllll
tkal I i , 'Vilili- i', I lie I .
apM"l iIhim . Pim m u IIm , 1
and !n 1 In- iiPt ' nullum) intnttn iu
TW illurrb i'i'I uitm aittw- U
M uf frum Mt ! im u4
it aluul ttiwu. a 1 Ur mm.
tMMl aba ttMrjr mtm OmIim tkm
. . s'.i4- i
truntili tliMM iMr at outf. Worinn
arv llir iui uf more truiilili-a lu pl,
ami yuiihic Imn tlmu U ufwu aiii
hwI. 'I hi'y ifi t Kirk anj II aixl
Mill It oinrltilng rlw, wltvo IIh truth
I that üi'ui iliil It Kur Uvaliueul
w luir luuud uolblna lirttrr tbait
Mutoniiii. lk imo uiiuii. illiNnilVK in
warm mw. ml a Kb ulup aud fil
to arrpnt) vi' lu a hunitrñl bead of
l. Jfvinlliia mi llio a a uf lb
KoJ It lb flrat tblna lu tba uioruloj
aixl rMiit tin iImo In thrva ur four
daya.- liarvvy Jonlau
boa- ruml w It b lk i-aunot do
rd nurk lo the rril IM I hava
trifxl dilTaiviit klnila ut rruiatllaa. At
prwiit I na tb knaiaa'k api-arar and
iwajr boa- with orud oil. It dova uol
tak ao imirb ImJi. wbkh tbaaa daf
la quit au Iti-ru. If Uu pta art tbor
otigbly Inímlnl with Ibn, It la wall ta
ara lliriu two ur thrra tlniaa. aoj
aftai that ara uím lu all waaka. -P.
ona of tba ruttliNupurory poata aka
Wbar are tba txigfct (Ilia uf the
paatr Our iwt uhaartaPoo la ttkat
uaia of ttMwi ara adualaaMarlM eat
tkaaa oaa uf paragark? I Oka brtsti'
aata ml ta fatiara.
Prlca of Hia Traaaen.
Rciiedlct Araultl died In Indon June
14. lHDl. Ilia life ii fur tils treason wn
uioHt unhappy une. II waa avnliliMl
If Dint of honor and on many cxva
alona delllx-rati'ly Insulted. II re
eel ted a conalili-rvlil mini of nmnoy
from the llrltlab (ovrrnment and nimli
aeveral unaiiccMHfiil atti-inpta to pu
(RR In bualiHua In British Ann-rl-n
and th Weat IiiiIIp and flnnlly iv
turned to tximlon, wbpr he died In
obacurlt. Ilia aerond ton, born In
17H0. entered the HrltUh army In IT!w
aerd with rnillt In ninny parta uf
th world and three year before hl
death In 1H.V4 waa mad a lleuUilii.nl
(eneral.- lloiiarbold Compauluo.
Newton'a telerope la a clumay look
Init Inatriiment. nine Indira In length
two Im hi-a In aperture and capalile of
niniriilf vlnaT thirty elaht time. It
entirely made by Newton hlmaelf. who
flnit I'xhllilteil II liefore the Itoyal to
clety In 1071, ami more than 1 yeuri.
later hi aueeeNHiir In the presidency of
the M'lely laid U-fore Ocnrge III. S i
W'lllluin Heraclii'l a mlit-ine for milk
ItiaT a telesroe on New ton'a plan, to In
forty feet In length and four feet In
aperture. Tall Mnll (iaiett.
Rhoehlavk Hhlne. tlrf r'our anus'
Taaaerby No, thank you. Bhoeblnck
Two aoiiaT taHerby No. Hhoeblack
For nothing, then? I'aaaerby - Ail
light. If you like. Phoelilark taftei
having (Into hed one slioei It'a fl mill
to rlenn tb other, ulr.-No Ixilslra
EMPEROR AT THE PLOW.
Paeullaritia of China's Thankaglving
In t'hlna nt the lieglnntng of winter
a thiitikKivlng feNtlvnl la held 1
wblrh the ileltli'K lire eaierliilty thank
ed for the prew-rvatloii of life and
health during the preceding twelve
Vaa aaraaoa oeajia ssvkral ri aaoa
Oronlba Offerlmr are presented on
tb family altar, and the ceremony Is
brought lo a clow by a grind dinner
t whl-h II members of th family
a-sn partake The feasting and rejoic
ing are kept up for daya.
tin the fifteenth day of the Drat niuou
tbe emieror of China goes lu great
state to a certslu Se4d. acvmpanle
by the chief orfliera of bis bouaehuld.
aud prostrates himself, touching tb
ground ulne time wllb bis head In
honor of the god Tien, and pronounce
a prayer Invoking tbe bleawlng of tb
gres l being. Tueu aa high priest of
tbe einplr Im aacrlBce a bullock to
heaven aa the fountain of all good.
While lite victim la being offered a
plow drawn by a pair of highly orna
mented uicn Is brought to tbe emper
or, who throws aside bis Imiwrlal roll,
lays hold of the plow handles and
utwua several furrowa The principal
mandarina follow bla eiample. and th
festival, lililí Is really a species of
thanks In sdvauce ior ga1 harvests,
od wltk a distribution of clothes and
BMMM'y to ih nnir
"RABBIT HUNTING DANCE."
O 44 Thanksgiving Festival Mala by
th tukl Indians.
Tbe "rabbit bunting danc" of tb
Pueblo I ml la na at Eunl, Aeuina. Tao
and Islets I a faatlvsl eoniemporan
ons wltb ibsl of th whit mau. In
lb danc ttast ladlaua glv thank aud
pray for futura favor Tb chief of
aacb village dMlguate a day la No
vemher for I be feailval, and lb dao
re ra, abo a ra drwased In w tilla rottnii
shirts and pantatouaa sad ran-y gama,
rbaot aud danca aa loog aa beeath and
atrvorh reuiabt. They tasgla at day
light tod aftar a paua for fand at
Bausa coutltto daoctag far la ta
aigM. Tby pray farvaantg tMt tb
Ureal alatt may gtv tba pwr t
aaay ptaaity af rakWt aaad a
aad ale tkauk bisa ti km gaasa, aa
sd Mm rasa ml tfc aaaaaaj passt.
THE WIDOW as
DEACON HILAS LATHAM, wid
ower, bad been paylug atteu
llnna tu Aunt Harab I lender
aon, widow, for two year.
Each heard that the other waa tul-
jborn, and each waa watching and walt
Ing for the other to eiblblt tb trait.
TbankHglTlng broiight th críala. Tb
I widow Invited the deacon to dinner,
i There wna no queaUon about the dea
con taking tba bead of the table, but
when tbe matter of rarvlng came up
the widow took knife and fork lo band
"I rnn do It ao mnrh better than you,
"I full to aea how or why," be re
plied. "Ileoaua I have alwnya carved. It
waa an eerentrtelty of mine even when
I 1 wna a gin. .o aouni you can a lire
bam or prk, but when It cornea to
carving a turkey"
"I have carved thousand of them.
- - , : ,' V-- ....
"... : . ar
"THERE YOU ARE
aa you must know," Interrupted the
da con. with considerable asperity.
"Iton't jab the fork Into th bird like
that. That's Ilk a hired man Jahblnj
a pitchfork Into a liesp uf hay."
"I was not Jabbing. In order to
start rarvlng you must get a firm hold
of tbe bird."
"Thi-n take It by a leg."
"Never! How would you look hold
ing the bird wltb one hand while you
sliced away with the knife? If you
bav always carved that way"
"I have, and It'a the only way to
carve. There- you ara Jabbing again!
One would think you were a aoldler
bayoneting an enemy."
"iH-acim Wis Laphaui, you are talk
Ing Ilka a child! When I think I need
to lie told how to carve a turkey I will
call ou you for advlc. I simply gt a
Brm hold wltb the fork and then"
"And then Jab. Jab. Jib A woman
baa no hunlneaa with th carving knife
and fork when there la a man present
I will carv this turkey "
"I beg .visir pardon, but yon will sit
there and se me carv H. !on't for
ge! tbat I am In my own boun and
that I am still my own ho."
"You Invite me to dinner and then
humiliate me. do you?" shouted tbe
deacon as he shoved back his chair
"Now, don't lie a schoolboy." chlded
tbe widow s she nourished the knife
around "Having got a nrtn bold with
tbe fork. I now proceed to cut around
the thigh joint thus "
"Out you are sawing Insti-ml of rut
"No. I'm not."
"If I waa a awearing man"
"You'd get off a awear wont on thla
orcaalon Ye, you look at If you ware
swesriug to yourself Ibis minuta."
"I baln't sworn a singla awear, but
when a man baa to alt ber and ae a
Tbauksglvlng turkey jahhed and poked
and irtahtied and aawed and butchered
tb I-ord would surely fnrglv him for
on or Iwo swear words."
J'tveacon alias l.apham." aba replied
aa she rested from ber labora, aald
I could carv a fowl."
"Tino wtiy da't you '
"I am doing It, and If yesj would
ksMgi cjjIH for Br mina "
"Thla la ton murk, asldow too
aawrb"' said th dea raw aa ha started
for Ota sianiMt a4 bal "Toa laatte
ata bar aa4 then tamrrt aa. kaal
By Caipar Dullon
CserrlgKI, 1904. b A marión frase njfc
ifr 1 1fr "rft 1 Ifc
tb deacon aa b got on bis over-
Tb widow ata her Thanksgiving
dinner alone, but tbat turkey waa
never carved to form a part of It,
After lb deacon'a departure she re
turned to th carving knif and even
tually managed to anw off a piece of
the meat, bill she bad no sooner tasted
It than she started for the kltcbeu to
Interview the hired girl.
It was Hire or four days U-fore tb
mystery was solved, for there waa a
mystery. The turkey, which had lieen
killed three or four daya ahead of tlnie
and hung up to freeae, had been cut
down ami devoured by cats, aud to
aave himself from reproof the hired
man bud killed a peacock and bung It
In Ita place.
"And ao you see I had to aaw and
Jab," eiplalned th widow aa th wid
ower waa aent for.
Y-s. I aea."
f if l -- .
JABBING AGAIN 1"
"And I heard about youra."
"And your wretched temper"
"Ram to you."
"Hut I thought It a elmidcr. Now,
however, I can no longer doubt."
"Neither can I "
"It waa my place to carve tbat tur
key. In your obstinacy you coutlnued
to aaw and Jah ami butcher without
regard to my feelings. My only re
course Is to Md you good day and
tnl.o my hat and leave"
"If you will act like a boy, I can't
"And never come again." finlahed
"And yen would also hav bad to)
aaw and Juh."
"And though you went away yon
didn't miss your turkey."
"Aud all things considered"
"Yea, all things considered "
The deacon'a fur had to b rubbd
the right way for a time, but he purred
at last, and on this Thanksgiving day
be alii do tbe carving an his wlfa
will pas th cranberry sauce
! w m