Newspaper Page Text
THE PEOPLE'S JOURNAL
VOL 12.-NO. 42. PICKENS S. C., THURSDAY, 1)ECEMBER 4, 1902 ~
TEDDY HAS NOT APOLOGIZI
WI[AT CLUB WOMEN Al
Bill Arp is Reconelled to t
Iden of Womn's Clubs-T'
I've been watching these women
these club women. For a long timi
did not like the name, but I am rect
ciled. I never visited a man's cli
but once. It was a gathering of ye
nice, well behaved social gentlom
with eatables and drinkable int
background, but no body partook
excess while I was there. The exce
came afterwards, if it came at all. 1i
i woman's club has neither eatabl
nor drinkables nor cigars. Of cour
it is a very social gathering, but the
mean business and they do it. On
a few years ago a few ladies of th
town determined to do something f<
the town and they formed " Ti
Cherokee Club," and soon had mo:
members and wont to work. All th
members had passed their teens an
the married ones had laid by the
crop. They secured a charter an
then got a lease from the city and tlh
State for fifty years control of ti
ground between the hotel block an
the railroad, and adorned it with grai
and gravel walks, and enclosed it wit
a chain fence and placed handsom
iron seats by the shade trees, an
planted a beautiful fountain in th
center and peopled it with gold f1sh
This beautiful park is the frolickin
ground for the children and a cheerfu
resting place for their tired mother
and a trysting place for young me
and maidens. Near by the trains ar
passing at all hours, and our nes
beautiful passenger depot is near a
hand, where our people congregate t
receive their friends or bid them good
by. And the club did it all, for the oli
depot would still be there if the woue1
had not stirred up the men to demanc
Then these women began to plan
flowers and shrubbery in ,he schoc
house grounds, and next they starte<
a small library in a small room, ant
circulated good books among our peo
ple and they kept on anl on until the3
got a larger room and more books, an
kept it open two days in a week an
the demand for books soon widened to
the country and every week they sen
out four boxes of sixty volumes eacl
along the mail routes, and so hav
established a rural circulating librar;
that has proven a blessing to our coun
try boys and girls, and the books al
ways come back unhurt and are sen
out on another mission.
Next these good women started
sewing society among the poorer classe
in our community and are taking turn
in teaching the girls how to cut gar
monts and make them and where the
are very poor they give them aid anc
com'ort. It is all charity. But last o
all and the best of all they have ac
tually laid the foundation of a Clul
Library building that will hold thous
ands of books and where all the bes
magazines of the country will be taken
The city fathers gave them a beautifu
lot and if the weather permits th
building will be finished and paid fo
and occupied in three months. It wil
not only be a library for books, but
place for rest for the traveling man a
well as for our country friends an
their wives and daughterre when the
come to town. Besides these uses1
Is intended to have literary and musi
cal entertainments there that will b.
far more elevating and refining tha
the average shows that perform in ou
These same women organized
lyceum course for two winters an
succeeded fairly well, but to send afe
off for lecturers costs too much for
town of this size and so they are gemn
to secure home talent and talent froi
Atlanta and Rome and Dalton an
have entertainments at popular price
say at 10 cents admission, as Profese<
Proctor, the great astronomer did u1
North. HIe told me he never chargt
more in a manufacturing town and a
ways gave the working people the pr
ference of seats and always had
crowded houe. It was a cheap at
delightful school to them. W hat thei
club women will do next I do n
know, but they mean business. Thu
mean to elevate Uielr own sex first ar
if the men and boys come in they w
-find hi welcorme. I suppose that th
library building will be the first th
any club has erected mn the State, ai
what.[ wish to remark and emphasi:
is that there is not a respt otable tov
or village In the State but can do sowl
thing on this same line.
Now I hear you ask, where did yi
-get theioney to do all this? "Heav
bgips those who help themselves
Our women began with very little. T
rAilroad gave them'8$50 to start on a~
gave them part of the seats in the pai
Then, the club gave an oyste~r supji
aiid made a good little sum. Lal
on they held a bazaar, and later or
concerty and after awhile another st
per, -and all along at intervals tb
srsi1ed at the. n1rchants and ,othu
- ad"g~ ot oue more money, and wh
they run clear down theriaBsesst
seles and' i usbands and fall
a have to%hell out.' 196,you dqn4 nt
a( 7a.ruegio,.but if ybu hive onefe
big heiarted man and hip wife m n
wmmunity.like we haVe yo)u will
e..bconie bhlirupt. Where there i
wilt there is a way. And my obSr
-tion Is that women can do any. g~
'i a thh.i'the.y combine on.
A thoughtful man* who witnea
the laying Qf the. corner stone said
.'me/ " ThaMs the best work that
ever been started in this to*n ani
dping ijhoro to uplift and encour
y, our young people than everything else
God bless the women."
Lord Bacon said, "Knowledge i
t power." It is force. It is money. A
good libray is better than a university
Dr. Johnson said, " Knowledge is ti
he wing with which we fly to heaven.'
lie One of my boys (Frank) is a civil en
of gineer and built two plants of water
works in Ohio for Mr. Huntington
One day the pump at London got out
of order and he went down in the deep
-- well to fix it, but failed. A second
I time he tried it, but it would not work
n- and the water in the reservoir was
ib getting low. iIe telegraphed to a
ry neighboring town for an expert to
3m come bythe train. 1He came and fixed
2e it in half an hour Frank felt relieved
to and thanked him and asked him for
s his bill. "'en dollars," lie said; "two
at dollars for railroad fare, $3 for fixing
as the pump and $5 for knowing how."
ie That's it, knowledge is money.
-y Some time ago I advertised for a
Y copy of General Henry Rt. Jackson's
15 famous speech on the " Wanderer"
>r and also for a copy of Daniel Webster's
e last and greatest speech inade at Capon
e Springs in .June, 1851, in which he
e oualilied ill his previous declarations
d about the right of a State to withdraw
r from the Union under certain contin
d gencies. That speech was suppressed at
e the North and is not found in his pub
e lished works.
Well I have been favored with both.
s Senator Mangum, of North Carolina,
heard the speech delivered and he
V with other Southern members of Con
gress had it printed in pamphlet form
e and his grandson, Wiley Mangum
Turner, of Greensboro, N. C., has
found it among his grandfather's
papers and sent it to me. My friend,
Mr. Ed Holland, of Atlanta, Ga., has
had both speeches neatly printed in
one pamphlet, together with a brief
biography of General Jackson by his
friend, Joseph M. Brown, and this in
valuable pamphlet will be mailed to
any address on receipt of 25 cents.
It will be sent to stadents of colleges
at the cost of publication. Address
Ed Holland, Atlanta, Ga.
And now here is a letter from an old
Federal soldier living at Live Oak,
Fla. His name is F. W. Angus, and
he belonged to General Sickles'
brigade, and two days after a battle in
Virginia in 1802 he found in the woods
the dead body of a Confederate soldier,
and he and a comrade dug a grave and
buried him. In his pocket was found
a pass from Colonel John S. Reid,
colonel commanding Third Georgia re
giment, and the name of the soldier
was D. P. Williams. Also another
pass from Captain D. B. Langston,
commanding company K.
I find in General Avery's roster the
names of both these oflicers, and if pri
vate Williams has any surviving rela
tives and would like to have these
passes I will send them.
I wrote in a former letter that the
bears of Mississippi had held a con
vention and resolved not to come out
of their dens to be shot at by any priest
or president who slandered Mr. Davis.
I am pleased to read that Governor
Longino did not invite him there, and
that the veterano of Memphis will not
attend the ovation that Memphis has
promised him. After denouncing Mr.
Davis (who was (lead) as the arch
r traitor and repudi.aur, it seems to me
1 to be the most unblushing impudence
for him to put his feet on. that hallowed
ground. He says in his so-called his
tory that when Mr. Davis was Gover
nor lie vetoed the bill that was passed
tto pay the repudiated debts, when the
-truth is Mr. Davis never was Governor,
nor did he ever advocate repudiation.
Teddy, old boy, waeu are you going to
r retract and send an apology to Mrs.
Davis, who still lives ? You say in
your book that we were all traitors
Iand anarchists. Hlow about your uncle,
r Captain BullochA, who served with Ad
a miral Semmes in our navy, of whom
,you wrote so gushingly to Mr. Cunning
ham, saying he was a most admirable
man and very like the Colonel New
come of Thackeray? Was lie a traitor,
too ? But Cunnmngham says Teddy is
all right and showers editorial praise
d upon him in " The Veteran." I
i. wonder what the veterans of Missis
3. sippi think of that.
a Teddy said : " I'm going to Mis
(d sissippi to hunt for bear," andi the
a bears said, " Forbear!"
ly - h
dA physician, writing to a medical
a journal, declares that he fInds pepper
mint water -an eficient remedy for
dsleeplessness. This is a very simple
~ecure, and it will not bring forth from
the organs of professional opinion any
declaration of unsafeness. It is added
that a mixture of spirits of chloroform
xand peppermint water given in hot
water to the victim of insomnia will
"produce sleep, but perhaps in the case
of the admixture the chloroform water
0may claim a decided share In relieving
k. the trouble. It is at least easy to try
or peppermint water, and the theory of
er Its action is believed to be founded on
erits effect in withdrawing blood from
athe brain by attracting a fuller flow-to
en Mt'.rk Twain was standing in m
P' ,atreet cars hanging to a strap
rAe earliWung around a 'conlier thei
ed .strqp broke, dumping hn "to the laj
Ati of a well-dressed woman. The humno
1W st arose and bowed. ."AMadam,'
o 'said he, " this Is the 'Lrst time t1l
ISstreet car company e'y6r conferred
. favor on me,"
ied Mrs. Estella UQok, .of M,iddlttown
to New Yorke has.asured a'vSihdit c
'mae $800 ainet Isnr el Harris, of Nei
I is York, for buggi. and kissing (her 11
1ga theO street in adlt
SOUTH CAROLINA LEA)INC
An Industrial Record of Which
the 'aliinetto State May bc
A Columbia correspondent says that
South Carolina some time ago took its
place as the second cotton manufactur
ing State in the Union, and there are
features connected with this develop
ment that give the subject especial
In years prior to the civil war South
Carolinians had a very high opinion of
themselves and their State, and a cer
taii set-was doubtless considered boast
ful. If this spirit existed it was for
many years crushed nut of existence.
Now, however, the people of this State
are taking a very keen delight in their
manufacturing interests, a great pride
in the rapid strides that have been
made very largely with home capital,
and entirely with home ennrgy and en
While South Carolina is second only
to Massachusetts in the manufacture
of cotton, she stands first as to the in
novations in the application of most
modern methods. As exemplifying
progress in manufacturing, this little
Southern State is leading the world,
and she was, as it were, an infant in
arms a dozen years ago. In Columbia
is the first cotton mill to have machin
ety driven by electricity; here, too, is
the largest mill under one roof in the
world. Again, when experts or men
contemplating building wish to see the
mill admitted to be the finest in mill
construction, the most modern in all
appointments, they come here. Mill
men from Massachusetts, as well as
from Manchester, England, have visit
ed South Carolina's capital to witness
perfection in cotton manufacturing.
The records of the United States
agricultural department will show
that the greatest yield of corn ever
grown on one acre was in South Caro
lina, which was in a contest open to
the world. It is, of course, well
known that' "Carolina rice" ranks
first in every market and grocery. The
famed Sea Island long staple cotton of
this coast is unequalled, and can be
likened only to silk. The finest grades
are sent to France, and only appear
on the market in the form of bilk.
The manner in which this silky cot
ton is selected and grown would make
a story by itself. It demonstrates
that the South Carolina planter can be
infinitely painstaking and industrious.
To grow a cotton that sells for $2 a
pound when the ordinary short staple
fetches 8 cents, he must have a superior
order of intelligence.
South Carolina claims the record
acre yield for sweet potatoes-the food
for man and beast; also for raising the
largest hog ever butchered. In five
years the growing of tobacco has be
come an important industry. The de
velopment in this line has been re
markable. Where ten years ago the
tobacco crop sold for a few thousand
dollars, it now yields several millions.
It should not be forgotten that in the
Palmetto State is the only tea planta
tion in America, and that tea raised
here brings the highest price of any
sold in this country.
The oldest cotton mill now running
in the State was established in 1838.
The next was built in 1845. Then not
one for twenty-five years. It was not
till 1888 that any Important mills were
built. The Columbia mills, built in
1b93, were the first in the State to
cost as inuch as a half million dollars.
The Olympia Mills In Columbia, finish
ed over a year ago, represents more
than $2,000,000. In the last four
years one-fourth of the entire capital
in South Carolina mills has been in
vested. There are only thirteen coun
ties in which there are no cotton nulls.
The agitation about child labor that
has been going on for two yeais seems
to have had no effect on mill building.
There is DO decrease. New mills are
going up and 01(d ones are being en
larged. It is likely that the Legisla
ture that meets in January will dhis
pose of- the labor question along lines
that will be satisfactory to the mills
and t,he children, as well as the hu
With all of this, there is a general
prosperity throughout South .Carolina
unknown for many years. The people
are at peace with themselves. They
have ceased fighting oyer politics. The
Frost King has been kInd, and permit-|
ted cotton to mature in an unexpected
manner. Ten bales have been made
where, in August, seven and a half
were hoped for. 01(1 debts hiavo been
paid and November 27 has been a day
of real thanksgiving.
The married man has~listened to the
remarks on femmnine bravery In
" I acknowledge that the cases you
have cIted, gentlemen," he said at last,
" prove beyond doubt that women are
courageous, but I assure you that my
wife is so full of pluck that she out
classes any of these you have men
tioned. WVhy, just the other day I
saw her fight at the drop of a hat."
" What !" demanded the doubtful
individual. " Really fight?"
'i,, Bhould say ,so I" replied the
raat'ried man. " It was in a depart.
ment store and there. were twenty other
women preset2t. -You see, the hat
had been $15 and the moment It came
down to $14 08 she began".
At this 'point the fat man ordered
'The name of Jessie Benton Fremont
the aged widow,. of the "Pathfinder,'
!ree the first to be enteredt on the no't
r- .regIter of the Fremont hotel, recentil
4 pened:14i Los Angelos and named is
honor of;Bar husband.
MR. BEESWAX A(II[A
AND ANUICL4INA. 1
They Are Eugiged After Miuch
I;lo(ieiice aS1K Expended on is
Is Patrt. dt
Charleston News and Couirier.
Mr. Nathan Beeswax called to see e<l
Miss Angelina Carraway last night. sn
Mr. Beeswax ham heen fiercely in love th
with Angelina since he met her I'i
several weeks ago at the Isle of Palms. tiu
He has never, however, been able to aV
talk business to her fromu a matrimo- T
nial viewpoint, as he is about to go in- qu
to the hands of a receiver. But the '
way he loved Aiigeliua, the deep- lin
seated, yearning adoration with which
he rogarded her, took the edge off his gas
appetite and made him morose and
Last night they sat on the sofa in
the parlor. Air. Beeswax had decided 'Th
to reveal the nature of his nalady. .
.'apa was upstairs smoking a cigar and f
thinking about freight rates. Mainma '1
was in the dlining room placing the
soiled supper dishes on the side table,
so old Betty could wash them early the"l
next morning. Aunt Laura was in the i"g
sitting room reading a letter from her the
married sister, who lives in I.owndes- mn
ville, S. C. Little Harry, Angelina's of
young brother, was on the front Un
veranda poking his hand in Bruno's auit
mouth to see if lie would bite, fiun
" Angelina," begged Air. Beeswax bac
softly, '' I want to tell you something.
I want to tell you that my system is trl
crowded with love and the standin. der
room-only sign has been hung out. I
can't look at you without a sort of
swelling sensation in my throat. I've the
never b)een in love b)efore andl it's alik
going hard with me. I have all kinds nes,
of curious symptoms. I saw you walk- out
ing up King street yesterday with that ont
gimletheaded Willie you call Mr. cntl
Charlie, and the cold sweat came out tae
of me in geyser-like streams. I can't und
3tan(l the agony much longer. If the of
worst comes to the worst there is al- whe
ways a way out of it. A gulp of laud- the
mum I A deep sleep--aud the follow- It d
ng head-line in The News and Courier tax
,he next morning: 'Last Flashes han
oui the Wires: Mr. Beeswax is no of a
more.' Then my home paper, the T
B3urgsville Daily Astonisher, will print ther
,he ad story under this head: 'Mr. ,..
Beeswax Seeks a Suicide's Grave. The seli
" Oh, Mr. Beeswax," cried Ange- pena
lina, with a shudder, "don't. even hint pow
mch a horrible thing. I can't stand Yer
" Darling, come hillier: I believe tion
ou do care for me about thirty cents was
worth," said Mr. Beeswax, unlimbering litei
is right arm. incl
" Mr. Beeswax, please stop." - rep(
" Stop what? Oh, that's all right. in LJ
You don't want to worry about trilles. den
[t will shorten your life if you do." the
" Mr. Beeswax, you are the most thoi
twful man I ever met. No, I won't po8(
ither. You sit over yonder and be nea
" Well, if I have to occupy this rev<
,hair," said Mr. Beeswax, taking the that
teat assigned to him, " I might ju3t as lnov
well bo talking to you over the long thei
listance telephone. I can see plainly Pail
anough you don't like me. I wish i 'I
was dead." test
Angelina gazedi out the wmndow and tha
said nothing. irs
" You've quit speaking to me, have (e
you?" continued, Mr. Beeswax, in alln
aggrieved tone. " Woman, don't o
tamper with my affections. Despera- ye
tion is gnawing at my vitals. Dost, per
thou not know that lovers and mad- cai
men have such seet,hing brains, suchno
shaping fantasies, that apprehendig
more than cool reason ever compre
hends. Hear me, for the Shakespeare ang
in my system has caught f ire ; 'The
lunatic, the lover and the poet are of a
imagination all compact. One seeswi
more devils than vast 11el1 caii hold-_
that is the madman; tihe lover, all asfa
frantic, sees IIelen's beauty in a brower
of Egypt. The poet's eye, in a fine aer
frenzy rolling, do0th glance from
Heaven to earth, from ear thi to IIeaven;co
and, as imagination bodies forththie
forms of things unknown, the p)oet's
pen turns them t,o shape, and gives towi
airy nothieg a local habitation and ati
name. IIave a care-, woman, have a
" What on earth do you meanl, Mr. C
Beeswax?" cried ADgelina, in a pu%
" I mean," rep1hati Mr. Beeswax, set
sternly, " to ret,urn~ to that sofa and sit saa
beside thee. It's too cold out, here me
where Ii am." thi
" Very well," said Angelina, smil- lis:
ingly; " but if you (10 not conduct co:
yourself properly I'll scream for pa- of
" You will, oh?" exclaimed Mr.. p
Beeswax, quickly. ." All right; I'd dli
hate to injure papa, but if lie's looking. 7,
for trouble I'm willing t,o dlistribute P1
" Mr. Beeswax," admonished Ange- be
lina, nervously, " can't you sit here
without placing your arm on the back PE
of this sofa ?" a
" That arm knows its business" re
plied Mr. Beeswax, comiposedly. " I's T
educated. 8o long is it does Its duty bi
I never interfere with it. :Say, how UJ
much do you love me?" a
"Not a particle," replied Angelina, bi
" Woman," snorted Mr. Beeswax,
risimg to 'his feet, " surely thou must
be bereft of thy senses. 'Tils 1, Bees
wax, who lays his heart and fortune at b
thy feet. Are yot ready for the ques-' b
Stion ?" a
i " What question?" murmured Ange- ' i
' lina, with a demure smile. (
" 'Tis lika a play," cr'ed Mr. Bees. i
ax. " Woman, come out into the
nolight. The curtain is up. The
ird abt is on. The most thrilling
rt of the performance is about to
gin. Hearken to my soliloquy: Tho
il moment has arrived. The future
big with possibilities. The l'Lesi
nt has been hunting bears in Missis
)pi and trouble is bruin. Showers
stars are predictcd, and it is rumor
that the actress who atei(lentally
allowed a watch has coughed up
rty minutes. Angelina, come closer;
a making hist -ty now. The (lue.
u in my mind, oh, auti of Rlutledge
-nur, concerns thee most acutely.
kiss or not to kiss.-that is the
stiou. Damsel, it's up to you.
Oh h, Mr. Beeswax," cried Ange
i in i stilled tono.
in( so Mr. Beeswax became en
I141,'I'Ii(l ,STA'I'E, RECOVBU '
e Clint of' Souti Ciirolirna
Ir I' xemption From lRevelite
L WvaRdnglon correspondent savs
I a most important an(d far-reiaelh
test case, involving one aspect of
old nulliflcation idea, is to he tried
he Court of Claims, witi the State
iouth CUirolina as plaintiff and the
ted States as defendant. It is the
of Sout,h Carolina to recov or the
is paid for a series of years as far
k as it is polssible to go without on
iltering the statute of limitatilons,
nternal revenue taxes on the liquor
le now conducted by that State utin
its dispenisary system.
s is well known, the Federal gov
nent makes no distinctions betw\' cii
persons who sell liquors, taxing
e those who are engaged in the b usi
I lawfully and unlawfully, and with
regard to any local taxation or other
litions imposed by State or munici
legislation. But it is also true that
Federal government has no right
or the constitution to tax the
lal agencies of a sovereign State,
n exercised in the performance of
legitimate functions of the State.
oos not and cannot, for instance,
a State bond, or the funds in lie
Is of a State treasurer, or the oflico
lie State of South Carolina has
efore hit upon the notion that un
its dispensary system, evory lawful
r of liquor is a police functionary,
that a Federal tax upon tbe dis
mary tralic is a tax upon the poice
or of the State. Commissioner
kes, of whom the demand for the
rn of the money collected in taxa
was formally mad. before suit
brought, searched all the pubie
ature lie c.,uld find on the subject,
ading the ollicial messages and
irts of the State ollicers, and found
lom abundant and satisfactory evi
e that, whatever may have been
idea of the original author or aul
s of the dispensary idea, the pur
s of conducting the system is not.
:ly so much a plan for restricting
ic in intoxicants as for acquirliur a
inuo. Indeed, it may be said that
is practically the only purpose
, the other being only incidental
eto, if any attention whatecr is
I to it.
he commissioner is therefore con
ing the claim in entire conll(dence
t,he State cannot, recover. The
consequence of thc govern :ncut's.
3(at woului b)e a reductioni of its reve
s by from oneO hundred enud lilly to
hundred and seventy mihijons a
r at a single stroke. If the dhis
sary hare of South Carolina are dle
*ed legitimate State agencies of the
-taxable class, there will 1)0 noth
to prevent, the Stautes going into
wholesale manufacture of liquors;
what. South Carolina can do ini that
other States-probably all except,
ew of the retmainling forty-four
1 (10 also. Th'e tobaicco indlustry
I follow in the same line as a mat,-.
of course, aunt then the whole"
ric of internal taxation bly the Fed
I government,. ill go to p)ieces like
ouse of cards.
louth Carolina has retained for her
insel a very able1 lawyer, Franklin
Mackey. The At,torney General
1 p)robab)ly give his p)ersonal atten
i to the condluct of the case for the
rernment. The litigatimn is ati,ract
wide attention among members of
agress andl fIscal experts.
TurE CANNING BUsINIESS.---The
rotary of agriculture in Pennsyvania
a~ that a personal invest,igation
do by him two years ago revealed
fact that a single preserving estab
mest purchasedl 675 acres of sweet
mn, 376 acres of peaches, 125 acres
string beans, 60 acres of Lima
ans, 360 acres of squash, 75 acres of
mpkins, 12 acres of rheubarb, in adl
,lon to 35,000 bushels of apples,
)00 bushels pears, 10,000 bushels
2mB, 1,600 b)ushiels quinces, 300,000
arts raspberries, 60,000 quarts straw
rries and 50,000 quarts blackberries.
IIe says the number of bushels of
aches and apricots could not be given
the time of the Inquiry. About
ty tons of cherries were also canned.
icro wore also gooseberries, blue
irries, crab-apples and currants p?ut
in large quantities. These figures
ow what such an establishment can
to a community, and aie worth the
rious consideration of farming peo.
e In this section.
The Ge rman Emperor has French
Lood in his veins, its source dating
uck over 300 years. The Kaiser's
aicostor, Frederick I, of Prussia, was
io son of a princess descetided from
aspardl do Coligny, a French admiral
rho died in 1572.
Cherokee Remedy of Swo
Cures Coughs, Colds, Whooping
"1'hroat and Lung Troubles. 1
Mullein and Honey. Your Drug
IN A IIUMOROUS VEIN.
Nell--He loves her for all ho is
worth, doesn't he?
Boll--Yes, and for ati she is worth.
.obbins-1 didn't think you had any Kid
idea of marrying the widow.
Newlywed--I dlidu't; it was an idea Pap
of hers. p
Old Gentloman-I can't see where
that pair of spectacles is worth $12.
Optician--Of course you can't, my
dear sir. Otherwise you wouldn't
.Jaggshy-I understand, sir, that,
you said I drank like a fish.
Waggby --It's a lie. I never knew
you to take a drink of water in your
'hrenologist-This large bumpl) in- lam(
utcts that you ttu eccentrie. bles
The Victim-Wrong professor. It form
indieates that my wife is stronuous. DI
Xoungpop-I tell you, old boy, it ney,
takes a baby to brighten up a home. Just I
Oldwed-'ITat's right. W hen there's '"
i baby in the house the gas meter pract
wot ks overtime. chas
" Little boy,'' said the parson, ' I been
ope you don't real those horridl dime who
" Not me," replied the wise young- teilln
iter. " I know where to get. better |Whe
nnos for a nit kel." offer
Little liessie-What's a widower? send
Little Hlarry--Vhy, a widower is a Dr.H
vidl.,w's laisbandf. I should thiuk any- ham
body ought to know that. regul
'' I wish," said an attxiuu mother
to her indolent son, "1 that you wouldL
Live a little alttention to your lessons.''
" Why, matlmta,'' replied the little
fellow, 1 ( d give them as little at
Lention as I possibly can."
' Well, there is one con,olation
tbout being up in an airship,'' ro
narked the man who was taking his are
1ret ride through the clounde, on
" What is that?" asked the in;ventor. pill
" There is no danger of being run in
)ver by an automobile." stal
A young man in Philadelpl is was Nit
ecently called upon to mourn the loss an
f his wife. It appears that at the last 'st
ioment he was informed that the ar
-angements were such that he would
lavo to ride to the grave in a carriage
with his otlher-in-law,
" One-half of the world,'' I say to
ny wise frien:a, '' (toesn't know how
he other half lives."
" Then," concludes my wise friend
ith an ar deliberation, '' one-half
.he world hasn't any neighbors."
'' A horse ran away with my broth
r, and he hasn't been out of doors
for three weeks."
'IThat's nothing; my h.other ran
waa, wath a horse, and le h.t.unL i.et
aut of doors for three years."
" What possessed you," asked Nag
us, the literary editor, " to write a
'loinance of Society in the Other
" Nobody can call me down on it,"
respondled lorus, the struggling author.
"Wheneyer I write a romance of c
ociety in this world a lot of smart
Alecks, always tells tme I don't know
nythinig ab)out it.'"
" Sailors are awful forgetful, ain't
tbey?" asked little Elsie. '
" Why, what makes you think
that, ?" inquired her p)apa. 19 &
" lecause every time they leave a
place they have to weigh their anchor.roj
.f they weren't, forgetful they'd re-re
tnembler the weight."ou
lie inquired if there was no other
alternative. The undertaker informed
him that it could not possiblhy be avoid
ed. " Well," said the young man,
" I will have t.o submit, b)ut it will rob F
the occasion of all pleasure for me." '"
A Germantown school teacher re- frot
cently told one of his bioy pup)ils, who S. (
was insubordinate, that, he must be0. Co.
"If you (10 not (10 better," saidl the
teacher, " I shall go and see your fath -_
" Hub," said the boy, who was only(
t,hree feet high, " yer will have to take \.
a pick anid abovel to see him, lie's
Mary Branyard-Out here we always 1
go to bed with th)e chickens.
Miss Wopsie-Mercy mel it must be Wi
awfully unhealthy. .
" Women are hard to unesan.
" Think so?"
" Yes; I told her she carried her age
well, and she was offended."
" You don't say!"
" Yes; and then I' told her she
dlidnl't carry it well, and she wouldn't
One evening at supper little Lester
said to his grandmother: 01
" Grandma,- do your glasses make
things look bigger ?"
" Yes, dearie," said grandma.
" Oh!" said Lester, "I only thought
if they did, may be you'd take 'em off
when you're cutting the cake."
For Infants ahid Children.
'I AJLL'tJ L J4 t I BAJ1fK
t Gum D Mulloj
Cough, LaGriDpe and al
dade of Pure Sweet Gum
gist sells it--25 and 5oc
) YOU GET UP
WITH A LAMB BACK ?
neY Trouble Makes You Miserable.
Imost everybody who reads the news.
:rs is sure to know of the wonderful -
JJL.cures made by Dr. .
the great kidney, liver
and bladder remedy.
It is the great medi.
cal triumph of the nine.
teenth century; dis
covered after years of
scientific research by
Dr. Kilmer, the emi
. nent kidney and blad
der specialist, and Is
Ierfully successful in promptly curing
back, kidney, bladder, uric acid trou
and Bright's Disease, which is the worst
of kidney trouble.
Kilmer's Swamp-Root is not reo
iended for everything but if you havekid
liver or bladder trouble it will be found
he remedy you need. It has been tested
many ways, in hospital work, in private
ice, among the helpless too poor to pur
relief and has proved so successful in
case that a special arrangement has
made by which all readers of this paper
lave not already tried it, may have a
'le bottle sent free by mail, also a book
g more about Swamp-Root and how to
ut if you have kidney or bladdertrouble.
i writing mention reading this generous
in this paper and
your address to
lImer & Co., Bing
on, N. Y. The
ar fifty cen'. d na gomo! wa %
aro sold by all good druggists.
'FThe 1)ii e Liver Fi ll
guaranteed equal to any PIl
the market, for only 10 cents; 25
a in a box. If they are not kept
your vicinity, send 10 cents in
ups and receive a box by mail.
lhol keeps them at wholesale
retail, corner Main and Coffe,
cots. Address +
F. NICHOLS & Co.,
Greenville, 8. C.
WHOLESLE DELER I
ish an Ovstrs
t7h pake in bre d boe for
6., orTeClmia Fihan0c
oi, . . a rt o*
frm anxsi yu produce to
.il D a Lsl i,
isoll and eaivFstndroduc
20MKI ST., CARLSTON, S.
E,l BAnd NOysndTrsA
a eerry Fish Co26 Marn Stee
Colubia b.iC, and C, i t
T . AHOUN.&Co.
oe A on ealFs La, ro
?iract in all, thxresor, 8.0