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r Zzr/1.1 1 A 2c Z7y? 11, ZzI ./offiA' lr IIs s 01" 1-1 /.4'A/W. VOL. 1.] EASLEY, SOUTH CAROLINA, FIZI1AY, FEBrUAR.Y 22,1881.[N The Way of It. TFhe vind is awake, little leaves, little lea v es, I leed not wvhat. he says--he deceives, lie deceives : : Over and over To the lowly clover I He has lisped the same love and pledg ed himself triue As he'll soon Le lisping and pledring to you. T'ihe boy is abroad, daiity Iulid, daitty mlaid, I eware his soft words-1'm afraid, I'm afraid : Ile's said thei before Times many a score. Ay, he died for a dozen. cre li*s b ird pricked throughl A< h1'l soon be dlying. 11y pretty, for 'Ih.e way of the boy is thl.' way of tte wvind, A.- light as the leaves is (1;ainlty ntiiid kind One to deceive And otie to believe That is the way of it, year to year !,mt- I kntow you will learn'i it too late, GOOD JOKE ON A JLJJDE BY T. B. BALDW1N. [Writtenl for the Texas Siftingsf . lion. Jlenjamia1 Fitzpatrick, who was Governor to Alahama from 18411 to 18-15, Came of a family re nowned for practical jokes. ]Ie was not such an1 irr1pressible jes terI as some of his brothers and other relatives, but he too had a (ecidedly large pump of that brand of humor, as the following true story told me by a near relative of Lis, will show : At one time he held the oflice of State Solicitor, or what is called in some States, District Attorne; Montgomery, his place of resi (denc, and Wetumpka were in his district. .Judge Cannon was the presiding oflicer at the time of which I am writing'. Court had( just closed at Monit goflery and1 was to openf ne~xt (lay at Wetumpkca. There was not a railroad in the State of Alabama at that time, and1 the oflicers and lawyers of the dlistrict 'took the round1s' either oni horseback or in~ huggies. Judge Cannon, and an elderly attorney whom .1 shall (call Jonas, traveled together iu a buggy, drawni by a pair' of laro-e mulne. Jonas was rathej an e!Teminate looking man destitute of beard, and almost bankrupt in the matter of cranial foliage. What little he had 'grew along the lower edges of his dome of thought, while the up per precincts were as barren as the Staked Plains, Jonas allowed these scatity strands to grow as long as Mother Nature would let Ihein, andl he would brush them back in such a manner as to entire ly cover the (enuded table lands above, and twist them together be hind, and hold them in place by a I'tucking comnj,' snch as is worn by ladies. With his hat on, Jonas d(id not lreseut a particularly ecentric ap pearaiice, but, whenseen for the first tiie barehieaded, lie was real ly a mi rth-provoking object. Oni the occasion of which I am writi n1g, Fitzpatrick rode oi horse back to Wetumupka, and passed Judge Cannon and his friend Jo nas on the way. A 'ev niles from the city he, crossed a 'shallow olough' of rathler muddy water, which was sonic 200 yards wide. After crossing, he! dism)ount1ed, built an immlense fire of brush and pin-knots, and then proceeded to disrobe, ianging his garments arou nid the fire as though he was (Irying them. In1 a little while his I lonor and Mr. Jonas arrived at tle further edge of the water, when Fi tzpat rick, arrayed in a single garnent, (an undershirt) veilled out: 'Don't. drive in there, Judlge, for Heaven's sake !.it's at least ten feet dleep in the middle, and you will drown sure!' Thme II OnorabfiI le Co urit andI (hIis companion then~t held a brie-f consul teItioni, whmen they dlecided~. that the p~resent outlook was anything but flattering. T hey also decided to take Fitch's advice (Fitch wa~s a sort of nlickname 01' contriaction for Fitzpatrick), unhitch their mules, and~ swim over, as heC said lie had d1one. iNot: calrrrg to get thir clothes Wet anid having to stop) to dr1y them as Fitch was dloing (or' ra'tther' seeed to them doing) they concluded to str'ip off before they started up)on their peCriIons ridle, tie their clothing ump in smnall bundles anid hold tihemi over their heads as the'y swamn their miibls nIOn. Once across they Couldt resume their raiment and walk the rest ot the wa-y t., We- uinpka, or ride their bare back mules, as they saw fit. .By thIs time Fitzpatrick began an rather hasty resumption of his gar ments, saying that lie would hum ry on to town and send a buggy back to meet Iis Honor and his friend. Ile did not start, however, until he saw his victims neairly acro-s the dirk and shalHow water. 'he two legal luminaries present ed anything but a spectacle of dig nity (and reverence, to be sure; with no article of clothing on ex Cept aI s!ovc-pipe h:at, riding bare batck mnles with blim(l bridles aindl buggy harness on, wvith one hand Onulsivl clas)to Lg a sniall 1111 die ahoN e their- Ieads;, vhile the other clutched in a viise-like gip1 a tuft Of mane, for neither of 1hem1 Could Sw'i1 a v-1A. Thsthey tremlingkl.ly enlteredV the Slough. Fit tzpa.trick afterward sanid that he would willingly have given a 1unidred dollars to have hladI somo of' his lga comra~.-des with him to enjoy the fun. Suppresused lgter ab i bu1rst hlis d ia.phln rim, as1 - on1ward the di'r niefid Judge anl sdellm barriter cam te ~lShihig thriouigh: knee-deep water, momentarily expectinge to phtinge into aI ton foot ab !There Was no portion of the wate'r ''ver n foot and a-half d eep ! Asi they ne-ared tihe f ur ith t-r s'hore F itzpatiick moun iited his horse and r'o(de on to Wetumpka, le:ving 'le Court' -And his comrlade it) eiljoy the discovery of his wN icke1 ls(ll. T he hotel at which the Judge and visitingo Cattorneys alwalys stoppedI wvas kept by at very prim and some well acqua inted with 'C(ol . Fi tch, ~Judge Cannon, andi~ most of the Montgomery lawy ers~ ; but she had niever seen Jonas. he old ladly had numter'otu qluestionis to ask 'Col. Fitch' about himself' andI some (of hi s brIot her at ornerxs wh 1halud not vet arived W ~ith a'uurosetpeso Cl F'itchi' tol her that lhe hado passed1 Judoge Canntoin some ilies back 'but was very s3orry to finrd thant ht was b)ringinzg t ha~t ol woman ai: h lon with him.' 'What old woman u? It is wife?' asked the land(1lady. 'INo in~dCCol11' emdii~ Fitch. 'Tlh, Judge has no wife.' It's a great pity he hasn't. - If he had a good wife perhaps her influence might restt'ain him from traveling over this julieial distridt in the compa ny with a female diressed in male attire. The old hotel mistress was thor oughly shocked that 'such a nice, modest, wellbehaved old gentleman as Judge ('annon should thus dis grace himself,' anl she suggested the passibility of Fitzpaiick's be ing mistaken about it. 'It is a fact, iniadaim,, lie solemn ly assured her. 'No one would suspect heri Sex at first sight, so well disguise(l is she, but if you NN ill no4ice ca'1refully when she re imovezs her hat., she has her hair (n up11 ill a little GICcial knot. and fastiened behind with a regular ladies tluickin.-coinb. It is really a crying s'imme the way the old by pol-Ite has been acting lately, and if you do n1ot WInt the relputatioll of your hotel ruined, you better not let tliem put upi here.' The old lady was ablaze with indignation, and she said she 'was just eachina' to see the old vily an and tell hii wlat she thought of Ihimux.' About dusk Judge Cannov and his haldhieadedC ) companioi drove up The eveninr was rather cool, and the little office of the hotel was nearlly full of newly arrived law yers, to whoml Fitzpatrick had just related 1 the deep-water joke,' as he styled it, and also what he had told the landlady about 'lIis Honor' ad11(1 his femalc traveling co mpall ioll. They were all gi vnhg the Judge a hearty greeti 11g. wh enl in Sailed the old landr~lady, w ith the hauteu r of a ductihess. Walking boldly upj to the Juidge. that good-natured dig nitary, with his~ facee wreathedl ini smiles, held out his hand with, 'Ilow -ho you (do, my dlear' madlam; I am r'eah.Iy glad.--' 'D~on,t youi come around here a - dear muadainig' meC, you old1 white w ~ash1ed gr'axvard ! ' she fairly shi ieked. 'You and1( that lantern awdol wenich' (shakinig her fin ger wen ngyin Jonas's face) 'canl jest gettleor (1p folI (kids an' skip ; y'ou ou t-daciouis old heath en !' [(N)Nciom.:i oN sIcox~) 1) 'Au1