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WHY HE GOES ON CRUTCHES,
Mr. .Jabed Gazely, travelin2
salesman for ihe well-known liq
nor house of Guncane. & Racket.
now wears a pair of erutches, not
for ornament, particulairly, but
mainly for use. Several days ago
Gazely, while en route for a rural
sea of trade,. felt in with a lot off
young fellows, representing many
tradea and 'professione. Thy ex
changed cards, flasks 'nd oinpli
inents, old jokes and wearisome
stories. Wheqr Gazely arrivd at
the small town where he was- to
transact'".msiness, it possible, he
proceeded' at one to the house
whose wants in the whisky line he
had ever supplied, bnt upon enter-4
ing the store he saw .hat a change
in proprietorship bad taken place,
The proprietor came forward.
'Good morning, sir.'
'Good morning. I wee that this
placew has changed ownership. I
used to do considerable business
with your piedecessor and hope to
merit your confidence.'
Gazely handed him a card, not
his own commercial paste-board.
but unfortunately the name and
two-line advertisement of a young
undertaker he had met on the
train. The merchant looked at
the eard for a moment and said:
'I am thankful to say, sir, that
I need nothing in your line.'
'But you soon will, I hope,' re
The merchant knit a while lon
'I hope I may not soon need
your services, sir. I don't know
why you may that my predecessor
ever had any dealing with you, for
he is a young man'
'1 know he's a young man,' said
Gazely, looking sharply at the
merchant, 4but what difference
does that make? lie kept his cel
lar well stocked with my goods,
but that's neither here nor there.
I've got the best in the market,
and just now we are selling at
strikingly low figures. You'll nev
er have a chance to do better and
I advise you to lay in a stock at
(nce. Now, for your own individ
naal use, 1 can do the nice thing by
'Do you tak e me for a fool?'
-Certainly not. I'm only advis
ing you to buy in time. Such reas
(mfable figures will not be op. to
you many (lays longer. I can fix
you up in nice style, so that when
your friends and neighbors come
'You heartless scoundrel!' ex
':lairnied the merchant, wheeling
Gazely around, and kicking him
from the door. Tfhe fall injured
t ie young man, hence the crutch
es. The mistake has been discov'
* red, and both parties, young
Gazely in particular, are sorry
hat such a IudierOUS misueinder
standing should have occured..
A ! k ansaw Traveler.
-The firet thing. of course, iw
to "ciatch) your fi'h' observ'es an
exchange. Not so. The first thing
is to dig your' bait. Nothing is so
foolish as to go fishing without
ainy hait, as many a politician
Too LAT.-First Pickpocket
'Say, Bill, now's y'r chance
Second Pick pocket-, Where?'
'See that rich lady with her purse
in her hand? She's gettin' ito a
4N'No use snatchin' her purse.'
Why ain't there ?'
"Ihere ain't nothing in -it
'Ilow dW You know?'
just seed her a coming outen a
Curlositles of CoUnhterfeRtiMg.
I wish to call your attention to
kwo curious facts, said onofficial
of. tke secret service at Washiug
ton recently to a correspondent.
(Counterfeiting runs in families,
and without exception, the men en
gaged in it are all poor. For ino'
stahce, take the Ballard family,
Th1o1saa, Benjamin, George, and
Joh, fox*r brothers, all in -.our
clutches, together with an aunt.
There is'one brother o't of jail,
but we are. satisfied that he is an
Thomas Ballard is a wonderful
fellow. He is the only person, ro
far as we know, who has succeed
ed in imitating the fibre paper up
on which the genuine note and
bonds are printed. At present he
is serving a thirty years sentence
as a reward for his discovery. lie
is a chemist of no ordinary attain.'
ments, and he invented a process
by which he was able to take a
genuine $2 or $1 bill and complete.
ly remove all vestigezof ink from
its surface. Then, with . . coun
terfeit plate of a higher denomina
tion, he would print upon the gen.
mine paper and thus raise the
Speakidg about raising notes,
here is a check on the Third Na
ional bank of New York, which
was raised from $451 to $26,958.
And paid in 1876. TFhe perpetra
tors worked off with chemicals all
that was written in the check ex
ept the signature, and I regret to
ay that we have never been able
to discover who did it. Here ar
three steel plates which were en
graved by Ulrich for a five dollar
issue. The engraving is done on
loft steel, and when completed the
plate is hardened. To give some
idea of the -amount of labor it
Lakes to engrave these plates I
uan only say that we have eni
dlence that Ulrich was fifteen
mont hs completing them.
Perhaps'the greatest curiosities
in our entire collection are the bille
which made their appearance a
bout four years ago, executed'with
a pen entirely by hand. At firet
we thought that it must take a
reat amount of time for the ras
cal to turn out one of those bills.
but now we think he prodnces
about one a week. The denomi
nations are fifties, :twenties and
Lens, and they are turnedl into the
treasury for redemp~tion from all
parts of the union.
THE D)ELEGATE8 ARIiVx.--Where
is the bar?, asked a gentleman,
iurriediy, as he registered at a
'Just around to the left, sir.'
'Where is the bar?' asleed an
>ther grentlemaen at the ame nis.e
4 moment later,
'Jukt around to the left, sir.'
'Where is the b '
'Jast around to the left, sir. By
Jove,' the clerk continued, 'the
lelegates are begining to come in.
F. A. WALTER, PROPRIETOR.,
-Cer. Moi-wand Washington.Se.,
GR RFN VILL E. . ..
O FFEILS to the ptiblic. one of- the
best. 'electe"I. purest awl fre hest
iock of frugs, Mediies. Paints.OIls,
I)ye tltts, Tollet articles, Pat0tnt
ruellicine. the best bramcls of Seipos
60 iTotmieco, Ntions, ote.. etc.. to be
totnlft. Iil the State. Also, full line of
Garrien. Flom er amtd fie II
Quarnteed freshi sod geuine. and in
fact everything tsnally kept in a firt
lm-stm Lrug store. His
P Its 1il nlist, audl well suppliedI with
every coiceiv-Ale kiid of isavoiung
Syruaps. Cream, etc.. an seivett In the
b.t st.yle in tie-City.
Polite amid ate ,tive clerkp. with a
full and sniect. stuck of Good. isi out
Len<Ung In1(h1eements1 for patronis.
Mr leu you come. to; Greenvilli- tou'
fail to call ot me ,141 ta I snagratitee sat.
kfaeti4n. My stock 6$ too large ti u
'lertake to ensuieiate all t he articles.
F. A. WAL'ER.
Pay 23 tf
RICHMOND & DANVILLE
PASSE NGk&R DEPAR1T1MENT.
On after Jme 8th, 1884. Plaenruget
Trii sriee on th-- A. & C. Air-Line
l)ivision will IN as follows.:
WNOR TH WA RD.
_________ TDly. I Daily.
lae. At lna. . . A 440 p 8, $ 40a a
Ar. Gainesville.. . . 57 p 1035 ta m
" Lula..,....... 72pm !101a m
'ub. Gap uni 8 12 p m -l 30 a it)
Toccoa.......C 854 p it, 1204 p m
" ileca City. .1D 959 p mi 100 p n
" entral ..... ... 110 32 im 152 p n
Liberty...... .1053 pm 213p m
I" Esle.s. ......... 11 10 p m 227 p m
"Greenville. . . . E 11 42 p ,! 2 47 p m
" Spartiabitrg. . F 1 01 a m: 3 56 pn
"Gastonia..... .0 3 17 a 5 54 pm
"Charlotte.. . . H 4 10 a in' 6 40 pm
No.501 No. 52
Daily. D) ally
Leave harlote . .1 30 api 1 00pm
Au. Gastonia. ..221 ai m I 45pmi
"' Spartttanurig.. 427a m 345 pm
" Geevile...543a m 455p m
"' Ea6y... 617 a mn 6526p mt
"Liberty... 634ami 542pm
"Central........ 655am 600pm
4~ Seneca City.. 732am 637p m
"Toeccou.........8 40 a im 735 p in
"Rah. Gap June. 934 a mn 8 30p m
"..L........ .. ..-. . . . 109 m 8 59 p I
" Gawavlle . ..1(136 a m' 9) 25 p rn
"Atlanta... ..... 1 00 mi m'11 30 j) m
Accommuiodation T1raiu, (A ir-line Helleb)
Leave .At luai3............ 6 15 p nm
A rrive Gainesville..........8 25 p im
A ecomnuxlbationu TIrainu. (Air-Linue Belle)
L've Gaines'ville...... ...... 7 00' a mn
A rr ive A t lantM........... 9 20 a mn
No. 18-Loca.l Freight, Goig Sout h.
Ljea ve Charlot te............. ES 00 a mn
A rrive Gaffne'y .............10 50 a m
A rr ive Spa rtint burg-........12 53 p m
A rr ive G reen ville............ 4 15 p mn
A rah e a t Easleys............. 6 413 p m .
A rrive at ibe'rt y.............. iS 45 p ii
A rrive Ce nt ral .............. 7 30 p m .
No. 17.-Loc'al Freighut, Goinug North.
L~eave Cent ral ...... ........ 4 45 a mn
krrive at luibwrty ............... 5 15 a I
arrive at E. 5 50 a11
k:rive G(.ret.end1le.......... ... 7 63 a in
i'rrive Spartaqhurg......,.....10 20 a it
kirrive Gae y's ................ 1 03 p I
k rrive Ch1rlot)te. . ( 15 p m
All reight. tratins on this road cat'ry
).Iassenlgersr. All psaseng.er tralns rui
trght to Danville-& Richmond With
)t cnge consnecting at Danville with
VY.. Midland. to all Eastern cities, anud
it Athlanta with all liesnc diverging. No.
W lestves Richmond at 12 45 p. m. and
No. 51 ari-Ivem there sit 3 5t p m. 52
eaven Richmond 1 28 a m. 53 arrives
het' 7 00 a m. The loed freights stop
it above stationx 20 to 30 inuates
BUFFET SLEEPING CARS WITh.
OUT C1 AX4G.
On trains NMm. 0 and 51, New York
lind Atlanta. via W~abshigton and Dan
Ville, oad also Goldsoio and1 Warmas
On trains Nos, 52 and 53, Richmoni
and Dasville, Washington and Augmt
ta, Washington and New Orlesom.
Ret.urninsg.'uon No. 52-- mleyer Oreenot
boro to lRiehmotid.
Throuigh Tickets on sale at
1. tarlotte, Gr,-entville, Senseca, .Spar
ranrg srind mainesville. ts all ints
Souith, Soulthwest, North and East.
A. with N m m JK to and from At hms.
B. with N E x R to and frombs Tail
C, with El. Air-line, 'to and trom
ibertohn and BmwersvIlle.
D, with Bte Ridge ig a to iad fromi
E. with c ani o R R to anld from
Newherry, AIAto and Golhmibla.
F, wit i A a *nd s d is U-aid c x a
A an~d frlon:t 1endfersonIIVille.-A lton &v..
(i, with Chester and Lenoir It I to
imd from chester. Yorkville an'd Dallas
II. with N C Divislion and C C and(] A
R H to aind from (reenisboro, Raleigh,
tc. EDWIN BERKIEY. supt.
M. SLAo1T IPTE.1, Gen. IPass. Agt.
A. L. HI jv m. 2d V P A (lan. Mawr.
ionth Carolna Railway Compa"y.
(Qoniteticing Sunday. May 11
1884, at 4 p ml. Passenger 'Tainis
Ivill I il n1a follows until futrthesr nlotice,
'Eastern thie :"
TO AND FROM CHARLESTON.
EAST (DA ILY.)
DeIpart Colinmubla at 7 50 a mi 5 25 p im
Die Clharleston at 12 10 a mn 05~ s
Depart Charleiston 8 18 a i 4 30 p sn
DLe at Cohnibia at 12 38 " 9 22
TO AND FROM CAMDF.
East (Daily except Sunaday.)
D~epart C3ohnnbla at 7 501 a mn 5 25 p mi
LDue at Camdena at 2 25 p m 8 2.5"
West (Daily except Suniday.)
De~part nden 'at 9 (00 a ma 4 00 p mi
Lue at Colnnbia 12 38 " . 9 22
TO AND FOM AUOUSTrA,
Depatrt Columtibia at 7 50 a mn 5 25 p en
Du at Augusta sat 1 20 p mn ' .1 a m~
D~epart A ugusta at 7 15 a in
D~ue at Cohlua at 12 38 p mn
nadoe at C'oltmiat *ith Oohabia awil
3reenvsille Rairad by traihi a'riving~
It 12 38 p mn, . and1 departiug at S 50p.
n. At Volumnbla .Junctions with Char
ottle, Columbiaba and Anugusta Rlail roniol
>y same trai to and from all points on
At (harleston with Ste.amera to
haw York 4)n Satuaay; andl on TIucP
lay *ad Sat urday with Steamer for
Jlacksonville ande poins on St. John%
ltiver; also. with Chsarlestona and Sa
mnaha Railroad to and from 8savan
sah anid all polintsIin Florida.
At Augusta withI Georgia and Cen
rail Ralilad to .ad from all pojint'
A'est anid South. A t lackyille to and
roml points 0on Barnwell Railroad,
I'barougha tic*kets cans be putrchased to all
)mints Soist h anid W~est by applying to
D). MCQ UEEN, Agent, Colambia, E.C
OlIN i. IPiOKc. 0 i-neral )Jannaer.