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MANAGING A MULE.
You Nebudrkanezzssa4wi0, "ah;
Vbar:ls y6utryin.to g, sah?
P'd hab you for to" know, sah,
I's a holdin' de, lines!
You better stop dat prauchin
You's powerful fond of dancin'.
Bit I'll bet my yeahs advancin'
Dat I'll cure you ob de shines.
Look heah, mule! Better nin' out
Fust t'ing you knoW you'll: find out
How quick I'll wear dis line out
On you ugly, stubbo'n back.
You needn't try to step up
A i' lif' dat precious heel up,
You's oot to plow dis fiel' up,
Youl has, fora fact.
Dar; dot's de way to do it!
lie's comin' right down to it,
Jes' watch plowin' t'roo it!
Dis nigger aint no fool!
Some folks dey would beat hin;
Now, dat would only heat hin
I know jes' how to treat him;
You mus' reason wid a mule.
lie mines me like a nigger,
1f he was o)ly3 bigger
He'd fotch a mighty figger,
He would I tell you I Yes, s8ah!
See how he keeps a-clickin',
A n' neber thinks o' kickin'
Whoa, dar! Nebuceadnezzah
* * * * *
Is dis heah me, or not me ?
Or is de debil got me !
Was dat a cannon shot me?
Hab I laid here mnore'n a week ?
Dat mule do kick amazin' !
De beast was sp'iled in raisin'
But now I s'pect he's grazin'
On de oder side de creek.
A Pity Not Akin To Love.
The other day, when - the Illi
nois Central train pulled up to the
platforn at Wapella, says the Chi
e:ago Mail, a stout, rosy-cheeked
country girl boarded it and sat
down on a turned seat facing a
dude in tight pants, and a small,
white hat. He at once determin
ed to exercise his wiles on the poor
thing and make a mash.
'Good mawning, Miss,' he said.
HIlowdy-doo,' she replied.
'Aw you going faw?'
'Huh u h !'
'Wheah doyou disenibawk?'
'Wheah (10 you get off the cahs?'
'I'm goin' to Bloomington.'
'Aw! I am going to stop theah
yself. Vewy happy to have such
Well, the boys here say 1'm
~hty goodl company,' she re
'he dude got up and sat down
ou aaw a vewy p~wetty young
and I am chaw med to be your
vt,' he said, leaning over on
an on your own breakfast.'
uid, pushing him away.
xat did you say ?' he asked,
n on your own breakfast.
t eat enough for both of us.
this miornin' was four bis
ud two pieces of ham, two
Sand nine slices of fried
nd I dlon't feel like hold
ide looked considerably
~k, but he began a lot of
cas the train p)ulled, and
r old farmers in the coach
became thoroughly an
e sat up close to her and
on-lier shoulder and whispered to
Just as the train was pulling in
to Bloomington the girl began to
cry, and there were four old men
on their feet in a minute, each of
whom had made up his mind to
thresh the dude within an inch of
his life. One of them approach
ed the pair and kindly asked the
'Did the snipe insult ye?
'No, no, no!' she sobbed.
'Then what's the matteri'
'Why, what air ye cryin' about,
if he hain't insulted-ye?'
'He's in d-da-danger, and I pity
the p-po-pore feller,' she sobbed.
'Why? What is his danger?'
'He's so g-gree-green that I'm
afraid he'll get off at some little t
tow-town and the cows will eat him
up!' she cried,wringing her hands.
The last seen of him was as he
turned a series of double somer
saults alongside the train in the
ditch, having jumped off when the
train was making twenty miles an
Hs DiDN'T ALLOW IHIMSEt1r To
GET EXCITE.-A stranger sat in
the corner of one of the Piedmont
Air-Line elegant passenger coach
es en route for New York,in an easy
attitudel, his feet upon a laige,
black trunk. The gentlemanly
conductor, going his rounds, at
the first station politely informed
the stranger that that was no
place for a trunk; it must he put
in the baggage car.
To which the stranger nothing
At second station the displeas
ed conductor more decidedly told
the stranger that lie must put the
trunk in the baggage car.
The stranger seemed perfectly
At the third station the vexed
conductor more imperatively told
the stranger that he must put the
trunk in the baggage car or it
would be put off the train.
The stranger kept peCrfectly
At the fourth station the irate
conductor, had the trunk put off
Tro which the stranger said
At the fifth station the molli
fied conductor, addressing the
stranger, begged him to r'emember
that he but (lone what his duty
required, that lie had (lone it only
after repeated warnings, and that
it was solely the stranger's fault.
To which the stranger laconic
ally replied: "I don't care a but
ton ; tain't my trunk."
EQUAL TO A REGIMNT.-'Pa,'
saidl a little Kentucky boy, 'what
is the title of a man Who comnmands
'Colonel, my son.'
'LDo you command a regimnenat?
'Yes, somewhat. .I don't com
mand a regiment of soldiers,' the
colonel explained, 'We are hav
inig times of peace. now. I only
command your ma,'
'Is my ma a regiment ?'
'Yes, ipdeed,' he replied, with a
sigh, 'your ma is a regiment-a
.THE FIRM OF W. M.
Hagood & Co., is this day
dissolved by Mutual consent.
All parties indebted are re
spectfully begged to come
forward as soon as possible
and pay their Notes and Ac
counts to W. M. Hagood,
as money is badly needed.
W. M. JIAGOOD,
P. McI). ALEXANDER.
The undersigned have en
tered into partnership for the
puEpj)OSe of colndUCtillg the
Mercantile business at Eas
Iey under name and style of
W. M. lagood & Co., and
-espectfully ask the pa-tron -
age of the public.
W. M. IIAGOOD,
.J. McD. BRUCE,
W. W. ROBINSON.
aug 4 tf.
No Patent No Pay.
Obtained for Mechanical Devices, Comn
poun)ds, Designs and Labels.
All preliminary examinations as to
patentability of i nventions, Free. Our
"Guide for Obtaining P~atenats," Is sent
free everywhere. A ddress,
LOUIS BAGGER & CO.
Solicitors of Patents,
Ma~y 30 tI Washington, D. C.
Root & Nhoe Maker,
Over Wash. Howell's Beef Market,
Main St., GREENVILLE, S. C.
I F you want to save money caill on
JOS, WESTrON andI have your
lioots and shoes made to Order, and
guaranteedl perf fit
CL OT IIG
GREENVILLE, S. C.
TH E CHEAP CASH
Is the place to btly your Staple and
Faney Groceries, Tobacco, Segars, Far
mers' Hardware, Garden Seeds, &c.,
We keep Stoves, ("Frockery and Tin..
ware, at tlard times prices.
Thanking the public generally for
their liberal patronage in the past, we
hope by close attention to business to
mierit a continuance of the same.
Country produce bought at hiighest
market pi&c, for cash.
Remember our motto is qdick sales
and short profts. Give' us a ca-i.
Easley, S. C.
EASLEY, S. C.
COME ONE, COME ALL
A ND furnish your Ihouses in elegant
style for the Summer with a nice
Line of Bedsteads, Mattresses, Bu
reaus, Tables, Standls, Chairs, Rockers,
&,&. A general assor'tment
of Landscape chromos in 22x30 inch
frames, chord, &c., all ready for hang
ing on the walls. Also, on hand, a line
of cabinet, promenade, panel and card
size photograph frames, all in artistie
style.. Always on hand a 1full line of
Caskets and coffinis, alisizes and styles.
Burial Robes for each sex, all qualities
and prices. Ready at all hours to wait
upon customers. Coffins trimmed in
any style, andl when so desibed, will be
trimme~I and shipped to any point on
Railroad free of extaca