amn ORCE, picturesqueness and
Ity in congress knows nc
tions. Northerners, soul
ers, easterners and westc
have their strengths and
weaknesses, their likes and
dislikes, their physical mt
Ism1s and their mental Id
crasies just like all other It
There have been men ir
gress who year in and yev
on every occasion have kept hewing to tii
of one special legislative endeavor. Jol
-Mtlorgan, for years senator from the state o
bama, worked for months untold to secur
adoption by the United States government <
Nicaraguan route for the great intero<
canal. ie lost out, but it is probable the
facts which he obtained in his researches w4
more value to the diggers of the canal than
gathered by any other one man.
Senator Alorgan was one of the noted f
tions to the psalmist's rule for the limit c
years of man. Some of the flippant, and
sibly tired, senators declared that Mr. Mot
speeches were as long as his life. If the
of the Alabama mai had been younger
would have been few sleepy ones in the a
when he talked-that is when he talked ot
other subject than the interoceanic canal.
it was to fly before the face of his orator
There was substance to Senator Mor
speeches, and this much cannot be said fo
vocal efforts of some of the flippant and yoi
ones. The aged one's words went into the
gresslonal Record and illumlinated its 1
Wheun he rose to speak many of the collel
of Mr. Mlorgan retreated to the restaurant o
cloak room. Only rarely li he take apparel
tice of the seeming discourtesy. Once, w14
unwisely, he said with something of pathi
his voice that he wished he could talk it
lunch room, for there he would be suro
Air. Morgan was no imperialist. le had i
in his heart of the outeomie of tile polley of e
Sion, and the note of warning that came frot
ips was frequent and forceful. One (lay,
outlining the position which lie believed
country should take, his voice canie bac
hin. Senators starting to leave their seats
bafk and listened. The words fairly rang thr
he chamiber. This was what he said:
"In this lofty attitude we ean prove the
eof the republic before the eyes of all
d. or we can set its light as a beacon to
mutting generations that, even in the hit
cI of power and advantage, this repuli
cynosure of 'til eyes-is affected to tile
th the sin of covetousness, and is Afmiine
SJ 6f -powor tiAyt ia attc
the usuilpations, tyrannies- and oppres
It have marked (he course of the oligar
despots that have disgraced the histot
the senate of the United States standls for
*ty. Sometimes the (dignity is overdlone, bu1
ne occasion the Senato was undligniiled tc
poinlt of striking several elder senators
Senator Tillman of South Carolina was
ing nothing less than an impassionled speech.
was reaching toward tihe skies of oratory,
Senator Warren left his scat, unseen of Till
and took station behlind tile South Caroli
The speaker had both lhandsl highi over his
- irecting the soarinig of his thoughts and w
Warren took a step) forward, Ills hland
to 'lilhnan's side, slipped into his pocket,
nme out again holding In its clutch a bigl
All unconscious Tillman wvent on withl his y
of fire. Warren held his 11nd( aloft in full
Of tile presidling omeier, of lis colleagues ani
crowded~ galleries. There wvas a gasp, th
smothered and simultaneous gurgle of hi
from a hundred thrioats, andl thenl roaring I
Tillman turnled and knowledge of tile awfu
ofhis sItuation came to him. For once, pot
for the first time in his life, lie wvas stag
to sp~eehlessness. He strove for words, but
came not at his bidding. Is face was first
with something like anger. Then thle cloud
ed and a smile broke through. Speech retu
and two words came: "Iloracic acidi."
It was boracic acId, but uinfortunately foi
Tillman, it hiad been putt into a black and
edous bottle. A sore thlroat was tile reason f
carrying, and1 whlile tihe Soithi Carolinian
man of knowvn truthi, he would nlet let the n
pass until hto had passed the b)ottle and
'., forced himt comrades to smell the stuff and~
* clear 1h1s temperanee r'ecord.
Neithler senate nor house makes light of
pion pleas in the presence of the galleries
some of the would-be pensioners play comic
in the committee roomsl anld corridors. C
ants who can prove things at'o tr'eatedl as oli
diet's anld old soldiers' widowsn ought to be tr
--decently and reverently.
Congress in its wveakness has votedl pen
on many an occasioni, though (doubtless I
ing that the pensions were uineat'nedl and
served, butt the day of that sort of tiling is
ing, if it has not altogethler gone. QO n m
'w'as asked to utse his influence to secure a
The Shepherd of th
Professor Sir Charles Bell In the a nm
Strand Calls It a Convulsive Ac- extrc
tion of the Diaphragm. by t
"Lguighter," says Professor Sir Tm
Charles Bell in the London Strand, "is tion.
a convulsive action of the diaphragm. Woul
In this state the person draws a full throt
breath and throws it out in interrupt- that
e d, short and audible cachinnations, woul
TJhis convulsion of the diaphragm is Marla
the principal part of the physical man- beca
tfestation of laughter; but there are prod'
A several accessories, especially the pheri
sharp vocal utterance arising from the bette
Sviolent tension of the larynx and the -thi
n T. T.
lhest l'ense of pension for the widow of a sc
tic- */ There were papers forwarded to him whicl
C% on the case, and these he turned over t
with committee on pensions after his bill had
5ions 'ITe widow did not get her money, and U
Ahies not long before the whole house knew wv
y of member who had espoused the widow's
had been in congress for years, and the jo
dig- his expense was too good to keep, and one
t, On I another of his colleagues walked up to his
the andl congratulated him on the wisdom sho'
with the plea which was in written form, h<
turned in to the committee to win the wvi
lie It is perhaps needless to ray that the
vhenm ber had never read the lea. It set fort
man, fact that while the amount of lpension inc
nlan. the widlow of the soldier htero asked foi
head large, it must be understood "that she cai
soles good family, moved in the best social cirle
andl was1 in need of a large sum of money to ke
ak U pon occasi on senators and replresentative
lords mit their constit uents to do their talkin
viewv them in congress. Petitions come in flooc
i the times, with the object of securing legislati
a external pressure. In the Smoot case, a
orror the purtIe food and army canteen matters the
orro- of the peolbe came in by the tens of thou:
ug- The members of both houses present then
lncs ters, call attention to their hrwport and then
sibly the petition to do the rest if they are
they Senator Latimer of South Carolina once
black duced a go~od readts bitt calling for the ex
alear. ture of government millions for' the impr'ov
rned, of the highways. TPhe automobilists all ov,
country began sending letters of approval.
'Mhr. pressed their friends into the writing servic
mapsli- that they (lid not always pass upon the pers
o~r its merits of the friends' productions is shiowi
is a ly well by one letter on the good roadis' s
atter received by Senator Cullom. It readt ilke
had "Dear Mr. Cullom: Please vote for thin
make bill, and you will oblige a fool friend of
who runs an automobile. Yours more o
pen- sincerely, -
but It wvas a Chicago man who wrote this a
r'oles There were others like unto it. The good
'laim- bill still sleeps.
I sol. In the older dlays the school readers con
E~atedl the story of "I'll Try Sir Miller." Pri
everybody knows who "I'll Try Sir Miller,'
sions Certainly eveybody ought to know. Gen,
Inow. Miller' then a captain, was the hero of L.
uncle- Lane. Ito said ho would tr'y to do the
pass- necessary for the thrashing of the enemy,
mber did it, and "I'll Tr'y Sir," took the place
n in- Christian name James.
SBlck Sheudep lor art
______________________ selves by compar
ity of others, or
ire intense form of the smile. In merly."
me cases the eyes are moistened If a laugh is a
he effusion from the lachrymal provoker of a lau
is." are there more s
ere you have a scientific defini- than to witty o
But it is clear that mankind greatest laugh r
tI hardly take the trouble to go It was said of S
igh that experience if that is all was the father
laughter consisted of. They "Laughter," said
[1 not regard a Diecens or a cently, "is a phy
Twain as a benefactor merely live under a sun
use a perusal of their writings ,by a melancholy
iced that. No; even the philoso- jphysical necessit:
know that laughter is something tion--even for th
r than that-sometl g internal the Welsh natic
L.t there is such a t as silent hilarates all see
iter. Hobb,.s calls r " not.'' his lordshi
;~prj'p~~,* *.~;ji. .(.c
Idlr. Fo er eea rersnatvs1 'cnrs
boe redt scueanaprpraio o e sd o
Ider was years everas leT representatives cogrs
.bThe trid the mattr an ppshiteobllbnhand used
cause the buildin of Captaonmntoera Miller atLud'Laet
ke at express their own determination to secure a vie
after tory. They certainly did try, and the speeches
desk that were made before the library committee of
vni in congress held patriotic appeals in every sentence.
Shad Apparently, however, it was easier for Miller to
(low's cap~ture a battery against 0(1d1 than it w~as for
memb~ers of congress to capture the doll:tra neces
mem- sary to build a monument of enduring stones
i the to his memory.
reaso It was a ease of try and try again. While the
wvas cause of Miller, whose heroim was worth a
no of dozen monoments, wvas being pleaded, congress
;. and voted money for memorials to other men less de
ep up serving. Finally, however, a New Hampshire
member who had been digging into history found
s per- out something about "I'll Try Sir's" career which
g for wvas not generally known. Congress had been
s at told time and again that Captain Miller not only
mn by had shown conspicuous gallantry at Lundy Lane,
ad in but that prior to that fight he had thrashed a
pleas superior force of British andl Indians at Managua.
;ands. Congress had also been told that Miller had com
e e- manded the center column of General Brown's
allow army, which routed wvhat was apparently an
)otent overwhIielm ingly greater force of the British -at
inr- These things didn't make an impression. Con
inr- gross seemedl to think that inasmuch as Miller
pni was a soldier that it was his business to dlefeat
rIlf t sup~erior forces of the enemy every dlay in the
~rte week without imp~osing any monument-raising
iey duty on posterity. The New H~amp~shire member,
ebt however, found out that after the war of 1812
iasive M~iller- went back to his farm near Petersboro,
fair- plowed fields, chopped wood and milked the cows
ibject instead of going to Washington to ask the gov
*is ernment to do something for him on account of
d-d his record.
mine Miller's popularity was such after the treaty of
r less peace that the government probably would have
been glad to give him anything that it had to
ppeal- give. WVhen "I'll Try Sir" was asked why he
roads was playing Cincinnatuis instead of taking a job
in Washington, ho replied: "When men begin
tained leaving the farms for the cities the nation will
>bably begin to decay."
was. Congress was told of this saying of Miller's,
James . and either admiration for his choice of a farm
andy's er's life or else belief that he was a prophet
thing who before long might have the truth of his
nd he prop~hecy proved, brought a favorable report
of his from the committee on library in the matter of
the monument at Petersboro.
iing from a sudden o i rn okodsmtigta
no eminency in our- wudmk tfe idrjie
son with the infirm-Antoswhlieedotespn
with our own for- dro ermn hc ecudi
benefaction and the vleo hteoinleecs.
gh a benefactor, why
tatues to dull people Aii
mes? Who was the Fte hvn agthssni
remoter in history?ali-Hv 'tIlwy tod ouc
idney Smith that hetelheru?
:>f 10,000,000 laughs. Sn'Ys ahr u o lotl
Lord Rosebery re-menvrtbeoehesaef
sical necessity. We hbt
less sky, surrounded
ocean, and it is a D o 'rtiko h reoai
for the English na-naueo.sec? Yumy fd
e Scotch nation andyeraororlih wrd a
n-to laugh. It ex- s(:n...
lal relations. Waslftn . "
p de,"teluh a byhat lag ra.z.heites
a le)Havn' I lwys ol yo t
tell h~e ruth
yWLIBUR D. NESB1T
A Hot Da
IN THE COUNTRY.
IN THE CITY.
I.-In the Country.
Adown the road run little swirls of dust
The dog pants in the shade, with lollin
And from the fields in endless noisy gu!
The clacking of the harvesters Is flung
The house is darkened, and when you g
You tiptoe softly through the shadowe
The maiden aunt, who Is extremely thin
Now seems about to vanish, specs an
The fat hen 'neath the currant bush re
And clucks ill-tempered comment on th
The pigs their sundry grunts of joy rc
From the mud wallow whence they wi
The dinner bell rings hotly, and the me
Come home, all sweaty, red of face, an
"I hate to go back to that field again;
The city must be nice and cool today!
11.-In the City.
The air is dancing up between the wall.
The breezes like from an oven fans th
The peddlers with their aggravating calls
Your shoes grow tight and tighter o
The fat men all grow fatter, while th
Grow leaner yet, and glare with burnin
Upon the dusty, scorching, burnin
A blued-steel soullessness Is in the sklei
Ich woman dabs some powder on he
And sadly says she knows she is
The man wvho steps upon another's toes
Within the street car straightaway he
And each and all of them, the cross ani
Frets dolefully the while, and oft wi
"I'm fairly baked, and getting wors'
The country must be nice and cool ti
DISQU ALlFl ED.
"But, papa, why do you object I
my marrying Clarence?"
"I fear, me child, he is not goe
enough for you."
"0, papa, lhe says my slightest wvis
shall be his law."
"Then he isn't smart enough to 1:
a son-in-lawv of mine."
At the Amateur Theatricais.
Stage Manager (behind the scenes
--That won't do, Mr. Stormer. Ye
must embrace the lady as if ye
meant it. Now, forget yourselves ari
your real lives, and throw yourselv(
into the mnimic existence. Don't 1b
the fact that Mr's. Dovey's husband
in the audience affect you so that ye
cannot make this scene seem real.
Mr. Stormer (wvho is rehearsing thi
third act climax with Mrs. Dovey)
That's all right. I can forget abot
her husband, but I can't forget thi
my wife is out in front, too.
Bald the Horticulturist,
"Oh, Susie," said the dear girl frieni
"you should have heard what M
Twiggs, the hor'ticulturist, said ham
night when some one told him thi
you were one of the season's buds."
"What did he say?" askedl Susie.
"I don't remember his exact word
but it was something about how inte
esting it was to see a century plant I
bud- Why, Su-u-u-sie, dear, how ca
you accuse me of offending you ?"
How to Be Happy, Though
"1 do believe you are asleep!" e
claimed the wife. "And to think thi
a year ago you said I was
"I was asleep," acknowledged ,'
husband. "And once mere you hin~
made me wake up."
Sore throat is inflammation f the
mucous membrane of the throa , and
if this membrane happens to be at all
sensitive a predisposition to sore
throat will exist.
Paxtine Toilet' Antiseptic is both a
preventative and a cure for sore
throat because it possesses extraor
dinary cleansing, healing and germi
cidal qualities. Just a little In a glass
of water, used as a gargle, will quick
ly relieve all soreness and strengthen
the mucous membrane of the throat,
and thus overcome all tendency to
Paxtine is far superior to liquid an
tiseptics or Peroxide for all toilet and
Paxtine may be obtained at any
drug store, 25 and 60c a box, or sent
postpaid upon receipt of price by The
Paxton Toilet Co., Boston, MassL
Send for a free sample.
IN THE UP-TO-DATE FASHION
Lecturer Found It No Trouble at All
to Answer Question Meant to
"Will you allow me to ask you a
question?" interrupted a man in the
"Certainly, sir," said the lecturer.
"You have given us a lot of figures
about immigration, increase of wealth,
the growth of trusts and all that,"
said the man. "Let's see what you
know about figures yourself. How do
you find the greatest common di
Slowly and deliberately the orator
took a glass of water.
t Then he pointed his finger straight
at the questioner. Lightning flashed
from his eyes, and he replied, in a
voice that made the gas jets quiver:
"Advertise for it, you ignoramus!"
The audience cheered and yelled
and stamped, and the wretched man
who had asked tne question crawled
- out of the hall a total wreck.
AT THE BOARDING HOUSE.
a "Who is that man," asked the new
boarder, "who is making such a fuss
abecause he has swallowed a fish
d "That's the sword swallower at the
dime museum around the corner."
"I used to think I could hire all the
brains I wanted for $25 a week," Mr.
"Well, couldn't you?"
"Yes. But it wasn't long before I
had to call in a $190,000 lawyer to
straighten out the kinks they put into
The Retort Courteous.
Manager--You prima donnas want
so much for your services.
Prima Donna--And you managers
want our services for a song.'
A Symptom of Stomach Trouble Cop
rooted by Good Food.
There is, with soe forms of stem- -
ach trouble, an abnormal craving for
0 food which is frequently mistaken for4
d a "good appetite." A lady teacher
writes from Carthage, Mo., to ex
plain how with good food she dealt
with this sort of hurtful hunger.
"I have taught school for fifteen
eyears, and up to nine years ago had
good, average health. Nine years ago,
however, my health began to fail,
and continued to grow worse steadily,
)in spite of doctor's prescriptions, and
u, everything I could do. During all this
u time my appetite continued good, only
d the more I ate the more I wanted to
s cat-I was always hungry,
t "The first symptoms of my break
s down were a distressIng nervousness
u and a loss of flesh. The nervousness j
grew so bad that finally it amounted to
o actual prostration. Trhen came stom
.. ach troubles, which were very painful,
t constipation which brought on piles,
~t dyspepsia and severe nervous head
"The doctors seemed powerless to
help me, said I was overworked, and
at last urged me to give up teach
' ing, if I wished to save my life.
. "But this I could not do. I kept on 4
t at it as well as I could, each day grow
*ing more wretched, my will-power
alone keeping me up, till at last a
good angel suggested that I try a diet
of Grape-Nuts food, and from that
'day to this I have found it delicious
always appetizing and satisfying.
I~". owe my restoration to health to :
Grape-Nuts. My weight has returned
and for more than two years I have
been free from the nervousness, con
C- stipation, piles, headaches, and all the
Lt ailments that used to punish me so,
a and have been able to work freely and
easily." Name given by Postum Co.,
e Battle Creek, Mich.
e Read the little book, "The Road to
Wellville," in pkgs. "There's a Reason."
Ever' read the above letter? A me
one appears from imae to time. The
nr we utne, true, ad full of hum4
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