Newspaper Page Text
- -, o77,;I
qfT-11.1-WEKLY~ EDITION. -WINNSBORO, S. C., JUNE 17, 1880. VL V-O 3
I 1j*y not keep thee, dear. I long havo
An, our mnt come for farewell look and
An .4our wherein love bicssoms that have
Are od our path, like summer flowers must
And .I have oommuned with my v9keful
And hought of a'l that I w,;uld say to thee,
Ere hand! and lip from hand and lip should
And oceans roll between -my love and me.
But as we stand upon the moor to-day,
The gorse and purple hea'her at our feet,
I have no spirit left in me to say
The wordo I meant to be so strong an I swoot;
No eloquence to help me at my need
No words of fire to thrill my last 'God-speed !"
Yet standing thrs beneath September's sky,
With solitude around us, God above,
We feel, with precious moments fleeting by,
That silent farewell better suitoth love.
No honeyi d phrase can ease the cruel smart
Felt with the strike fate dealeth us to day,
I read each longing or they to ndor heart,
Thou knowet all I would but cannot say.
I do not bind theo by a parting vow,
Thou speskest not of faith. u-ness to me;
It is enough to be together now,
Ere yet between us rolls the mL. hty sea.
8 lent, alone. among the moorlan I flowerd,
Passeth the last of all our happy hours!
Once upon a time a certain gentleman,
who lived spWrididly 'nd did not pay his
debts, owedi his shoemaker a large bill, and
the shoemaker having been told to call
again many times, and having written notes
without end asking for a settlement, re
solved to disgrace his customer by expos
Ing hin to his friends the very next time
he gave one of -those large dinner parties
which so excited the creditor's Ire.
Accordingly, having seen the wagons of
the caterer stop before the door,and watched
the waiters enter one by cuo, Mr. Shoe
maker, attired himself In his Sunday suit,'
and with his little bill elegantly written
out, awaited the appearance of the car
riages and when at least ilfty had arrived,
set clown their burdens and departed,stalkid
up the doorsteps like a vengoful ghost, and
ringing thu bell furiously, found it opened
for himu with startling celerity, and stood
face to face with a tall, black waiteF, white
glovf4 and stately.
"Where's Mr. Cheaten' 1" whispered the
"Gentlemen's dressing. room, second floor
back," responded the waiter.
Some one else had arrived, and was
treading on his heels. A vision of solen
dor, in the most wonderful, soft, white
wraps floated past him.
"Ladies, front room, second floor, gen
tlemon, back," repeated the waiter.
Mr Shoemaker was hustled forward,hat
in hand, and saw his delinquent debtor in
nll the ciegonce of dress-coat button hole
flower, and white cravat, bowing to, shak
ing hands with and smiling upon aristo
cratic personages innumerable.
The sight fanned anew the flame of the
tradesman's just wrath. le marched for
ward, planted huinself directly before the
elegant Mr. Cheateni, and stared him in
But Cheatem did not wilt. lie knew his
guest well enough and he understood his
purpose; but what lie did say, was:
"Beg pardon; for the moment I've for
gotten your name."
"HMve you ? Then perhaps you'll re
member me when I tell you that I made
"Now, if you'll trouble yourself to repeat
these last four words rapidly, you will find
that you don't say, as you believe yen do :
'Imadie yjour boots,'but,'I mnajuirboots.'
The lucky Cheatem detected this fact on
"Major B3oot.Al" he cried, dlemonstra
tively shaking hainds. "Dear, dear ; how
could 1 forget you for amomentI Delighted
to see you--dehlghted. Mrs. Chifins, let
inc introd,ice you to my old friend, Mlajor
"So glad to know you," responded the
old lady thus introduced. ' I'm sure I've
heard Cousin Chieatem speak of you a
thousand times. Bit down, do, and tell
me who all these people aire. i'm quite a
stranger I've isolated myself in Europe so
long. 8it down, Major Boots; hore is a
The newly-chrIstened shoemaker hesita
ted a moment, but it was not possible for
him to cry out : "I'm not Major Boots; I'm
Clamp, the shoemaker, come for my bill."
lie found he had not the courage. lie
crammed hIs hat under the velvet chair to
which be was motioned, and subsided into
angry silence wvh*le the old lady wont on :
"Oh Major, I always feel so prlyileged
when I have the opportunIty to talk to a
military man. 'I adore courage. And
were you ever wounded? JDo tell me all
"Thie bootmaker, fiading It necessary to
rep)ly, said ''that lie never had becen
And the 01(d lady went on :
"Never / How charmningi Bore acharmed
life, andj all that sort of thing. Do tell mne
all aboft~ it."
Tme shoemaker replied "that there was
nothing to tell."
On which that most gushing of old ladies
"Now, Miajor, I won't bedieve that. It's
like the modesty of you celebrated military
men. I know you stormed redoubts and
-led forlorn hopes, and wore the only one
left of your regiment, andl all that. I'm
sure I read all about it at the time. Oh,
here is Colonel Hobbs, a celebrated English
officer, did( something awfully brave In in
diae. Colonel let me made you acquaminted
with Major Ik>ots, one of our b)ravest mill
tary men, lie's been telling me all about
the wonderful tnings he (d1( in the army. I
moan he wouldn't tell mc about them
just like all you great men-won't trouble
hilmself to fight his battles over for an old
"Aw-.--awfu.lly charmed, I'm sure," ro-.
sponded the gallant tuolonel. "Awvfully;
4w. Miust introduce you to my brothesr,
Captain Hobbs in tihe sanmc wegtment1.ith
The shoemaker had arisen and a?~ look
ing down gn his business suit.
"I didn't intend to-that i didn't ex
peet-to be at such a swell a r as this,"he
stammered1 "or I-I sho have wordl my
"Oh, my dear feHl ,we always expect
you Amadtioan oRiceru to be wOngh and
weady. We'd be disappointed if yor
were nOt. The ladies, you know, adore
wough and weady men. It's the particulai
charm of Amewicans."
Away he led the bootmaker, who reall)
began to feel that he must have been, al
some period of his life, a mititary man.
And after being 1ptroduced to Captal
Hobbs as Major do Boots, who was "do
lighted," foid himself tete-a-tete with 1
very lovely young French lady, who ad.
dressed himi as "General do Buta," and
whom, at the request of his hostos-, whon
he had never seen before, and who had nc
idea who he was, he took down to supper,
Somehow this stranger In his mixedsuit,
and with his sulky air, had een set dowu
as a most eccentric and distinguished mill.
tary man by everybody. lie was regarde(
with attention, listened to with reverenc(
when he condesceided to say a few words.
The French lady Introduced hu volumin.
ously as General do Buta; and thus waE
Ie addressed thereafter. The waiters of.
fered hini champagne frequently, and tht
bootmaker gradually grew exhilerated.
Never had he been present at such elegant
festivities. Never had he partaken of sutcli
viands-been so overwhelmed with festivi.
ties. Never had so lovely a creature leaned
on his arm. Never had he tasted suci
waie. At first it exhilerated him, then 11
mounted to his head, and suddenly it ap
peared to him that his host was a gloriouf
fellow, and thatdte was under Infinite. obli.
gations to him.
Doubling his fist, he brought it dowc
upon the table with a crash that made th(
glasses ring again.
"Better man than Cheaten don't live !
'1- agree with you," replied his neighbor,
"Alh I I adore such enthusiastic friend
ship, such lof like Damon and Pythias ii
ze Olay," ejaculated the French lady.
"o v original! Now delightfully eccen.
tric I A perfect military niun," whispered
Meanwhile the bootimaker, staggering to
his feet, nade his way, as best he might.,
toward his host.
"Cheatem, " he cried, look here I Icame'
-here lie reeled and caught at a table-"]
canie to give you this-before every (hic)
And ho held out his folded bill, which
Mr. Uheatem instantly took.
"Now I-1 wouldn't (hic) do it-for
Mr. Chentem beckoned two waiters.
"My dear old friend," he said, "you're
not quite well. Let these men put you in
a carriage, and go home. I'll call on you
to-morrow. So glad to have seen you.
As for this-pooh ! pooh I
The waiters led the bootinaker from the
ron, after their host had whispered a di
rection to he.glven the driver.
And Mr. Cleatcn thus addressed his
"You must not think ill of my old friend
for this little lapse of his. After the trials
of military life it Is only to be exl)ected
that his habits should not be those of quiet
civilians, and 'tis his only weakness.'
"One forgives everything in a soldier,"
remarked a lady.
"A very ordinary failing for a military
man," resl)onded a gentleman.
"Andto think th% honest creature should
have remembered so slight an Indebted
aess as this, and been so anxious about it,"
sighed Mr. Oheatem, as he put the shoe
maker's receipted bIl1 into his pocket.
How the Fooler was Fooled.
A party on the West Hill did not make
much by fooling his wife. When he went
liome late, waiting until after twelve
1'clock so as to play the joke, he rang the
dloor bell. and answered "April fool" when
she appeared at the door. His wife laughed
over the joke, and It was soon forgotten.
About two o'clock in the morning out
friend was awakened by his wife, who in..
formed him that there was something
wrong with the horse at the barn. She
held the lamp while lie went out to see.
As soon as lhe had gone a short (distanice, he
"smelled a mice" and returnsed to find the
door locked, Hie knocked, poundled, kicked,
but it (11( no good. lie wecnt around to the
bedroom windoiw and could hear his wife
breathing regularly, as though quietly
sleeping, Hie could not go down town for
he wasa en dishabilla. Finally, tapping~
on the window lhe gently caliledu:
"Dear ! ''
"Li.et nme in ! '
"WVill you promise never to try to A pril
fool me again? "
"WVill you get mse that now bonnet ?"
There was a turning of bolts, andl th(
man, whio had gone home happy wit,h the
thought of fooling his wife, piassed in and
r-etirced. But we will wager that th(
p)arty who luformsed us will dlie if he ii
Slutkuing Thelir Iliation,
One of the mfost remarkable thingi
noticeable In social life is the unanimity
with which people shake their relatives,
Recently a gentleman arrived in Carser
with a letter of int.roduction to one of omi
leading citizens from the citizcn'a uncle.
After the Carsonite read the letter ho re.
"Glad to see yotu, sir. Glad to see any,
body who knows mny uncle in Cleveland.
Ilow are all thme folks?"
"Splendid. I spent six weeks thier<
last fall, and( I don't really thank I ever mec
such a fine fanmily of genial, hospitable am
"Yes, indeedl-I never spent a pleasnantei
thme in mny life. 'Your relatives are, indeed,
"Well, young mijin, if my relativea arn
such fine peoplo'they must have chaanget
like thnder since I lived with them thern
a year, and I thInk they are about th<
worst pelicans in the dleck. -l woulda'
spendl a month with the crowd for the
Whole town of Cleveland."
"'Indieed," said the other. "Well, sinc<
you've been so candid about it I might as
well remark right hero that your uincle a5s
lisa whole family are the toughest collect
thmn of 01(1 fossils I have ever had the mis
fortune to be steered against."
"Put it there, young man-you shov
good sense. Let'sgo out and take a some
In a few minutes more the two mel
were pledging perdition to the Clevelana
relatives over a foamingschoonor of Carso:
A Rawyer's Predicamnent.
What Is known as the "Western Hotel
game'' was tried on an ordinarily sharp
Boston lawyer recently, and was frustrated
through the shrewdness of a bank cashler,
but to the extreme discomfiture of the law
yer. The operator was a young and at.
tractive woman, and the victim was
Charles E. Allen, having an office in Pem
berton Square. The developement of the
case was full of surprise to all concerned.
Late one afternoon the young woinan in
question drove up in a carriage to the
National Security Bank, on Court street,
and on entering the bank presented a check
for $1,000, signed by Charles R. Allen.
The gentleman has had frequent dealings
with the bank, and from the fact that sonic I
time ago several blank checks had been
stolen frem. his check-book, and a few had
been subsequently presented at different
places for payment with forged signatures,
the bank oflicers were particularly can
tious in vaying out money on checks pur.
porting to be drawn by him and presented t
by strangers. Accordingly the cashier,
Mr. Charles R. Batt,when the check wat
presented, became at once suspicious, and
stepped to the President to ask whether lie
Shoula give the nioncy. As the woman
was giving the closest attention at the
tine, the President thought it pru- I
(lent. to reply in . the allirmative. As
soon as the teller had begun count
ing out the bills the cashier slipped I
out of the bank unperceived, and hastened
to the detectives' headquarters in Pember
ton Square. O1licers Wade uid Hersom t
imnediately hurried to the scene of the
transaction, and, as bnt a few moments
had passed since the presentation of the C
check, the woman was "still there. After
the oflicers had stationed themselves out
side, the cashier entered and informed the i
woman that no payment would be made.
She then started to leave, and was arrested
by the detectives, who took her to their of
fice. On the way she attepted to swallow
the paper thit hiad caused so much trouble, I
but this was prevented. The woman gave U
the name of Louisa Silvan, and on search- t
ing her, keys were found to rooms in the
Revere House. Then followed the sur
prises. The detectives first went to the I
lawyer's oillce in Pemberton Square, confl
dent that lie would prove the signature en
the check as a forgery. But the lawyer t
was out. They then repaired to the Re- 8
vere House, and in answer to an inquiry if
Louisa Stivan was stupping there, WAS
shown to an apartment in the hotel. Un
locking the door with the keys which had
been found, what was the det4CfiVes' as- C
tonishment at discovering the very lawyer
of whom they had been in scarch,
without his coat and appearing
very much ashamed at being caught
in tIXe predicanent. Questioning him,
the detectives were told that he had t
heen invited by the woman to ca'l I
at her room to see about the purchase of r
some real estate. H[e complied withi her f
request, and once at the hotel the woman
in(uced him to removd his coat. Then,
before lie was aware of her design, she had I
thrown that garment into her trunk and C
locked it. Turning upon the bewildered 8
lawyer, she demanded $10,000 or threat- 1
ened to ring the bell and call the police. I
Finally she reduced the sum to $1,000, and
a check for the amount was given her, C
when she left, taking the precaution to lock
the door, and promising: to let her prisoner
go in case the money was paid. The wo
man is unknown to the detectives.
The fireside is a seminary of infinite im
portance. It is important because it is ui
versal, and because the education It be
stows, woven in with the woof of child
Itood. gives form and color to the whole
texture of life. There are few who can
receive. the honors of a college, but all are
gradouaites of the hearth. The learning of
the university may fade from the recollec
tion, its classic lore may meulder in the
halls of memory ; but the sunp)le lessons of
home, enamelled upotn the hearts of child
hood, defy the rtust of years, and outlive
the more mature but less vivid pictures of
after day-s. So dteep), so lasting. indeed(, ~
are the itmpressions of carly life, that you
often sec a man In the ltnbecihity of age
holding fresh ini lis recollection the events
of childhood, while all the wide space be- I
tween that atnd the present hour is ti blasted
and forgot teti tvaste. You have, perchance,t
seen an o1(d atnd half-obliterated p)ortrait,
and in the attempjt to have it cleaned, and
restoredl seenm it fade awtay, while a brighter
aiid much more perfect p)ictuire, paitited
betneath, is revealed to view. This portrait I
fIrst, drawn upoti the canvas, Is tie inapt
illustration of y'out.h , atnd though it tmay
be0 concealed by sonme after dhesigni, st,ill the
original traits will sline thiroughi he out.. I
ward picture, giving it tone while fresh,.
anid surviving it itn decay. S3uchi is the Ilie
side-tte great, itnstituition furnished b)yi
Providence for the education of man.
Ntis for' the Luulitili'y'
If you invite frie.ids to pass a week or
more with you, try to fix the visit to begin,
tIme day after time Irotning is dlone. Youri
girl feels a weight off her mind, has tine
to cook the~ meals better, andh you will find
her a much more wvilling at.tendlant up~onf
yout guests. Do not have beefsteak for
dinner ot washing or ironing days-ar
range to soumethiling you can roast in the:
oveni, or else have cold nieat. Do not have
fried or boiled fish. The smell stIcks, and1(
-your clothes will not be sweet; besides, tIme
broiler and frying-pan takes longer b'
clean. As for vegetab)les, dho iiot have
spitnch, peas, string beans, or apl)hcSautce, 1
as these good t,hIngs ttke tiime to prepare,
andh catn be avoided as well as not. J]f It is
asked what to have, let me suggest htaked
white or sweet potatoes, macaroni, boiled'
rice, piarenips. sweet corn, stewed toma
toes, any catnced vegetablles ha thei winter.
F?or dessert, baked a->mples and( cream, b)read(l
pudding, or something easily prepared,. I
The lady of the house wvill find It both
pleasatnt, easy andl econimical to attend to<
the dlessert herself. Neither (10 we cali
dusting work, and strongly d#vise her to
all she can of it. Of course there isa much
that a lady mutst (10 about her house to
to have It neat and attractive, hut wve do not
Icall this actuatl work. It is rallier laying
the hand of taste atid adtapthon umpoti her
belonginmgs, and so making her home harm
onious andh individual.
-UURING mnild weather sheep should
not be kept in too warmi p)ens, but
Sshiotld be given the run of the ba:n
yard in the day time.
-The Iing of Siam has turned twen
Only Two -Neusons.
Our division of the year into four sea.
ions ts rather arbitrary. We often have,
specially iu this latitude, spring in winter,
vinter in spring, autumn in summer, and
iummer in autumn. Our two most distinct
casons are summer and winter, and winl
er, not unfrequently Is, as were the winter
ust- past and the winter of 1877-8, only
uch in name. Still, if we should consider
hat we have but those two seasons, we
hould be nearer to nature than weare now.
day, June, July, August, September and
)ctober may justly be ranked with sum.
ner. They are generally warm-very
varni-as many days in April and Novem
ior are. While they last, it is generally
>leasant and comfortable to have our wihi
lows open, and out-door life is delightful.
Ve d- not se(mi to understand this, it
east practically, for we remain within
loors tir- more thin we ought to. We
cem to cling to the habits of our British
orefatiers, who, though they are fond of
lie outer air and open sky, have so wretched
elliate that they must find their chief
atisfaction within walls. The Germans
md the French revel in the sunshine,
hough they have far less of it than our
elves, and take every occasion to get out
f doors. We rarely have an open-air
reakfast or dinner, even in the country,
at the Germans and French never misi a
hance to break bread under the blue cano
y. We should be a healthier, more
heerful, more contenLed people if we
hould have more to do with external na
ure, If we should close oir doors and go
iut to meet her. Our virtual winters are
'cry long, so long that we ought to appre
inte the summer all the more. November,
)ecember, January, February, March and
Lpril may be ranked as winter, liberally
aterspersed with spring and autumn, but
vinter largely predominating. Spring, as
dellnite season, can hardly be said to
xist ' 'e. March Is winter with aggrava
ions; -puil is not much of anything in
articular ; May is usually very like sum
ier. Autumn is by noi means distinct, so
hat we'may as Well adhere to the summer
nd winter ditribution. We Americans
re apt to associate summer with extreme
lent aind discomfort-with thermometers at
00 degrees in the shade, with drought,
vith breezeleam nights, with a period when
lie city is uno.Aurable and the country un
atisfactory. hiat is the weather of late
une, of J and August ; but May andi
eptember and October more resemble
hiat sunuer ought to be, and generally
re in this latitude. Otur summor must be
alculated at six months ; for, through all
liat period our out-door life is delightful.
One day recently, when trade was dull,
grocery clerk procured a piece of sole
tather from a shoemaker, painted it black
id laid it aside for future use. Within a
aw days ani old chap from back in the
ounrtry came in and inquired for a pluai
f chewing tobacecco. '1he piece of sole
mather was tied up, paid for, and the pur
haesr started for home. At the end of the
ixth (lay he returned, looking downeast
nd dejected, and walking into the store
0 inquired for the clerk.
"Member that terbacker I got here the
"Well, was that a new bratid ?"
"Regular plug terlbcker was It?"
"Well, ti.en it's ie. It's right here in
ay jaws.'" sadly replied the old man. "I
nowed I was getten purty old, but I s
Ilus handy on bitin' plug. I never seen a
lug afore this one that I couldn't tear to
iecea at a chaw. I sot my teeth on this
,no and bit and pulled and twisted like a
log at a root, and I've kept biting and pull
ug for six days, and thar she am now, the
sime as the day you sold her to me I"
' Seems to he a goo)d plug,'' remarked
he clerk, as hie smelled of the counterfeIt.
"She's all right; it's mie that's falling I"
xclaimed the old man. "Pass mec out,
ome fine cut and i'll go home and deed
he tarnm to the boys and( get ready for the
The Shoeep*a Nens 01 Hearing.
It is saidl so acte is the sheep's sense of
earing that she cain (distiniguish the cry
f hier own lmb amonug as many as 'a
housand others bleating at the sanme time;
and the lamb, too, Is ab,le lo recognize its
iothier's voice even though it be in the
init of a large flock. Janies Ilogg, who
r'as a shepherd as weull as a poet, tells ais
liat it was very amusing to watch the
liee) anmd lambs (during the shearing sea
oni. While the sheep were beinig shorn
lhe lambs would be p)ut into a fold by
hemselves, and thei foriier would be seat to
oin .their little ones as soon1 as the opera
ion of shearing wvas over. The moment a
amb) heard Its molither's voice it wouldl has
en from the crowd to mecet her, but1 insteadi
if finding the "rough, wvell-clad comiforta
ile mamma" which it had left a short time
>Ofore, It wouild meet a strange andi most,
leplorable looking creature. At the sIght
>f this it wvould wheel about, uttering the
nost piteous cry of dlespatir, andm p)e,haps
un away. Soon, however, i,he sheep's
'oice was heard again, the lamb would
hereupon return, then onice mnore bound
way, and sometimes repeat this condhuct
or teni or dozen times before It, fully tin
lerstood that thie shorn ewe was in reality
1~ Mderate I)rmkang.
Theli colonel was warming his coat tall
my the fire in a proinent saloon. llis nose
ore evi(lence of successful culture, and
:iowedl with that rich ruby hue which only
steady and( p)r,oongedh worslhip at I lie
brine of IHacchius can produce to perfection.
llhero was a "' dry" 10ook abiout the corners
>f his mouth, which was readIly notIced by
he sympthizlng bar-keeper, who good
iatiuredlly asked the colonel If lie would not
Ike a lit tle s inmulant.
'"Certainly, es:tdlnly, sir," replied the
:oloneh pr'ompithy, as lie birlskly stepped up
o the bar.
Pouring out a tumbler level full of the
luid, lie tossedl It off, and( soon as lie as
utmed a dleprecatory tone, thus adldressed
lie bar-keeper ;
" ThIs, sir, is my slxty.fourth drink to
lay. I miust put on bi-akes, or the first
ling I know I shall dlegenerate into excess.
lederation, sir, moderation, the grand( 58
~ret of health has been the rule of my life.
f I had but1 one more dIrink at thIs moment,
tichard would be himself again."
The subsequent remarks of the bar
ceeper indicated that for all -he eared,
[ichard might remaIn impersonal till the
lay of judgment.
Why H* Would Not uuy.
Ie was a tall, thin nma who hadn't been
shaved for probably two weeks. ills hat
had holes in the top of it, his clothes shone
like a )Iac!d lake at sun rise aili' how his
shoes mllanaged to stay on was known only
to thenselves. lie aibled up the narrow
stairs and Into Mr. Margrave's law ollie.
The lawyer was sitting in biir chair chew
lug on his penholder.
"41 Mr. Margrave In 1' inquired the ped
"$Yes, sir," was the reply, 'I ant he.'
"Alh yes," responded the fiend, reflec
tively, as ie rubbed his chin with his
knuckles, "if you are at leisurd, the Melli
fluous Morning lory of the AppenAies
would like a ioienta atience.'"
"Certainly, cerlianly,'' responded the
man of law," take a seat. Now, then,
state your case. Is it a d(vorce you
"No sir. Oh, no, its-'
"Assaul. and batery I presume,'' quictly
interposed the lawyer, as Ie picked up his
pen to make a inemortindun.
"'Oh no, you are wrong," smilingly re
plied Mellifluous Morning Ulory of the Ap
pent nes. "I Just camne i hero to have you
exaMunC a salvO I'm 8(eling. It is coim
posed entirely of vegetable matter and is
made by myself only and is called the Aro
mautic Soul of Mignonette. It is Just the
thing you want. It is as necessary as
overshoes. Of course, I do not menti for
a moment to insinuato that it will keep
your feet warm or keep water out of your
boots. I was only speaking metaphorical
ly. You tunble to my metaiplior, ci.
"Well now, here is a box-a nice little
sky blue box which will make a nice play
thing for one of your children when it is
enipty. It is only twenty-five cents per
box and this is gentliuie. See my signa
"Well, that'ssatisfacetory. Now that we
understand each other we'll iust get down
to business. Now how niany boxes will
you take ?"
While the lawyer was thinking. the can
"There Is no doubt of the virtue of this
great healer. It will cure chapped lips in
one night. I have known it to close tip
cracks In a (oor and on one occasiont a
womuian put sonmo on her lips and It drew
them together and clo.td her mouth. Her
husband came down next day and reward
ed me handsomely. I have testimonials
from lots of ministers and prominent men.
Ilere the lawyer chewed on his pn
handle in rovery and enquired:
"Have you a letter recoindi(ling your
salv0 from the man who sawed Courtney's
boats In too?"
"I have not."
"Then air, I can't purchase anything
from you. When I buy salve, it has got
to be endorsed by the man who sawed
"Yes," responaded the fiend savagely as
he backed towards the door, "you are one
of them lads what always finds fault and
won't be satisfied. You're a healthy man
--you are. You wouldn't buy a box of
pills unless It had a set of legislativo reso
lutions and a schedule of the dates of the
deaths of all the famous people for the past
twe centuries attached to it."
ft:Fhon lie slaninied the door and went
A Tarred Rtoof.
A man living lin West Dnd of Baltimore
recently land the flat roof of the L of his
house tarred, and when six or seven cats
got on it the following night they could
yell and arch their backs and try to get a
pull on all four feet at once, but they
couldn't lift themselves free and their
sighiing was frightful, and people in the
neigh*rh0ood began to chuck things at
them, and the owner of the house forgot
about the tar and waent barefoot and in his
robe de nuit upon the roof to chiase them
off, and p)retty' soon found he cotuldn't stir,
and lhe began to whoop and swear, and a
policemana got a ladder and climbed upon
the roof, and when lie came up over the
edge, on his hands ad knees, he had to
reamain In that posture. Meantimei the
boot jacks were falling in a shower about
anad upon them, and the man's mothcer-in
law,' in looking out of an uiiper windlow
that overlookedl the L roof, to ask thecm if
they were naot ashamedl to be ont oii a roof
1p1a.3llg cat at that tame of night, unafort.
nuately knocked her wig off, and it fell In
the tar; and then she rushed down'i a flight
ian:-. went. out on the roof to get it, and
couhdn,t pull the wig up, but got her hand
stuick to it, so she couldn't let go of it, and
of courise her position and her bald head
made a dlemad give away, as it wvas qmite
lighf, wh'len sonme onio finially canae with
b)oards to put downm on the roof for thenm to
be got on to whenm they were cut loose from
the tam', andl the old1 lady didn't feel a bit
wvorse than the policeman, who had1( to
wvalk through the streets with the knees of
lis trousers cut, out, and left stuack on the
roof and( a great hunk of tar stuck to each
hand, and got, are'prmnand when he reached
the stat.ion,. Andi t,he hliseowner himaself
blistered lis feet trying to melt, the tar off
of thenm by holding themn tup to a hot stove,
and when the eats were cut loose from the
roof andl p)ut on the groundi( they tiled to
gniaw the tai' fromi their claws and got their
paws stuck In tha ir- mouthas and rolled
about andl yowhedh and carr'ied on so that
folks thought theoy were mad and killed
Among the passengers who boarded the
east-bound train at IIolly, MIchigan, the
oilier (lay were a brIde and( groom of the
regtulaar holly-hock ordor. Althonugh tihe
car was full of passengers the pair beganm to
squee'/e hands and laug as soon as they
were seated. Th'lis of course attr-aetedl
attention, and( pretty soon everybody was
nodd(inig and wvinking, and several persons
so far foi-got thmselves as to laugh out
right. Ily and by the broad-shouldered
amnd red-handed groom became aware of
the fact that he was being rl(dlculed, and
lhe unlihnkedl himself to the height of six
feet, looked up and down the aile and
saidi: "There sceems to be conisiderable
nodding and winking ai'oimi here because
I'm hugging the girl who was married to
mec at 1 .vclock this anoninug. If the rules
of this railroad forbid a man from hugging
lis wife after lie's paid fulIl fare then 'm
going to quit, but if the rualcs don't and
this inlking and linking isn't bitten slort
ofY when we pas the next wile-poet, lImn
going to begin on the front seats and $reate
a rising market for false teeth &and
crutchesel" It there were any more wi ejc
anid blinks ha that car the groom 4diV
eatoh 'emi at it.
Angling for Whales.
'The fact that whales abound in suffielent
numbers Immediately outside the harbor of
Sin Francisco-between the Farallonesand
the Golden Clate--to warrant the establish
ient of a wialing industry of some Import
ance, is not generally known, the Idea gen
orally entertained being that those waters
are too far sauth to become the reiort of
schools of whales, and that only an occa
sional fish, separated from his companions
in the north, strays into a latitude so far
from his supposedi habitat-the Indian
Ocean. Considerable numbers of whales
can be found at all seasons of the year in
tihe ocean adjacent to that port, and within
a distance that can be easily traversed in a
day. Between the 1st of May and the 1st
of October is the most favorable season for
Ilshing, on account of the calh weather
generally prevailing. When fishing in
rough weat her there is always some liability
of losing the fish by breaking the line or by
cutting loose when the vessel is endangered.
The abundance of whales on that coast is
accounted for by the fact that whales mi
grate southward along the coast In winter,
returning northward during the summer,
and are constant'y in motion. The varieties
of whales which may be caught in that Vi
cinity are the suliphur bottom, which is
about 130 feet long, the largest in the
worl(l, and weighs in the neighborhood of
200 tons, yielding a small quantity of valu
able bone, but being rich in oil ; the hump
back, weighing 120 tons, the California
grays, eighty tons, and the tinbacks and
blacktlsh forim the remainder. Sperm
whales, which are valuable on account of I
the large quantity of spermaceti which they I
yield, are but rarely found in those waters, I
and prove a valhable additioni to a vessel's
catch. Capt. 'honas Whitelaw is now
constructing a little screw steamer, sixty
live feet long, sixteen wide and nine deep,
with which lie Intends to* iniaugurate the
business of whalimr outside the Heads. I
She will be completely decked over, so that
a sea can go completely over her without
causing damfage. She is built very strong- I
ly, and is deeper than ordinary, so that she
can be drawn some distance into tie water v
hV a whale, to which she may be made fast I
without diiger. She will be fitted with I
two compound engines-f--our cylinders.
Site can eatry coal enough for a run of
thirty days, which will be stored in the I
after part, and with the weight of her mua
chinery is expected to keel) h%r propeller
submerged, to avoid the "beating" caused(
by the blades when the vessel )ich3es, whIch
can be heard by a whale a considerable I
distance, and fiightens him off. The cabin
will be in the lorward part, and will be (
<xx:upied by the crew of live men. The i
vessel will be launched in about two weeks,
and is expected to have i speed of nine i
knots an h-ur. Her large coal capacity is a
to enable her to take an Arctic trip if re- 1
<tired. 'I he mode of killing whales adopt- I
c by this vessel is by the whaling rocket
or bliomb-lace, which cuu be discharged
fromn the vessel, which Iethod possesses
considerable advantages over tihe ot style
of h1uniti.g whailes in a boat and with the
la(-atice. The expectatiois are that an
average of' tell lish will be caught each
month. When a whial is dispatclied tile
steamner will tow hiin into port and land
him at the reducilon works, where the car
c.iss will be treated by ani improved process
by which every portIon wll be utilized.
When a whale is caught at sea the blubber
is stripped ol, anld the bone removed, after
which the carcass is set Mirift, anti loats
arounid until completely devoured by aiarks
and birds. Unier the proces to be tried
by Capt. Wlitelaw the fish will be cut into
sections, and without ditcriminiting be
tween blubber, flesh or bones, will be
placed in large steam-tight tanks nmde of
boiler plates, iato which steam at a high
prossuro aInd temperature will be intro
(uced, which will have tie effect of com
pletely digestatg the mass and searatlng I
thme oil, which wall lbe then drawn off. The~ I
process will be completed in about eight I
11our1-, when the residute of flesh and bones
wvill be tak en 'out, dried, andafewrs
grounct together to prlo.ince a fterwaizr.
Thec bones tire valuable for this purpose on
aiccotunt of thme phosph'late of lane wvhich
they will yieldl. 'Tree ''Lays" cani be muade
in ai (liy, antd as thmree digesters have beenam
conist ructett-ch capable of coattabilning a
tean-foot section of a whale-a lu'ge lush
cani be reduiced ini about two (lays. An
Arctic whlte yieils from 1700) to 3500
pmotunds of bonue, worth $2.75 a pouInd by
the cargo at New J5edford. Eachct whale
also yields from 100) to 250 barrels of oil,
wvor'.a $1I0 per barrel.
Iltl sheputrd uassi the hig ICtsek.
Waitmtg for thte train at thme Northwesternl
deplot thec othier dlay, a rep)orter hieardi G'apt.
lonmes, a well-knowni hlunter, telling this
story to a small btut interested audience,
composedl chieflyof TIomn St. Gleorge: "Did
you ever hemar how Hill Shepard shot sevetn
dleer out of one drove? It was a still, cloudy
(lay, and( there were two feet, or miore of
snaow on thme groumd. Thlere were just an
even dozeni In the herd, andit Bill had got
behind a b)ig log witlhan ten rods of thema.
le had to stnake a hole thlrough the snow
on the log to get alght. iIe got ali readly,
ptcked Out thme biggest one, aand blazed
away. it was a big buck, and drolpped to
the shot. Well, you know if a deer can't
see or scent you lie won't, run, and you can
keep on shooting as long ae you like. So
whieni Bill dIrop)ped the fIrst onie thle bmalaince'
jutst scatteredl and( camell right back together
agiln. Ile shoved In another cartridge,
picked out, the biggest one again, and( he
tlumbledl too. Bill put a third cartridge1
down, picked out the biggest onae againa,
and lie dlroppedl to tile shtot. By tIs time
1H111 was pretty well excited. HIe had1( only
fottr mnore cartridges left ; but kept as cool
as possib)le, p'icked out thte biggest every
time andl fetched himu. When he fired hisa
last shot, he0 sait and( watched 'emn
foa a long tIne, lbut finally lie had to show -
himself,and the balanace of the deer left.
It was just about this time the rest of tus
came upi and inquilred what all the shoot
ing was about. Bill was feeling awfully
becatuse ho hia(dn't any more cartridges, btt
lie swore he'd got se Von deer anyway, We
went over to see. Th'ie snowv was mightily
tramped downm, sure enough, but there was
only one deer-a bi1g.. buck. There wasni't
the least, trace of tIle other six, every onie I
of which Bill saw drop to the shiot. Then
we went tip and looked at tile one lhe got,
and as sure as youlr're 'aorn ihe hallI sevon
b)ullets in him. Bill hmad shot the *ame one e
every shlot, lHe w6uld fall, and then, jump 1
usp again, and being the biggest one, Bil111
picked him out every time. Of course It
jjzt have been the last shot that settled I
i$t, for there was only otic bali thid would
FOOD FOR THOUGHT.
If you would not have alliiction to
visit you twice, istenl at once to what
Nothing so adorns the face as cheer
rulness; when, the heart is in flosver,
Its bloom and beauty pass to the fea
lie who boasts that his heart has re
nined whole, confesses that he has
)lily a prosale, out-of-the-way-corner
To be unkind or rude to others and
ret expect to be treated by them with
sourtesy and atrection, is absurd and
Look at the pages of your own heart,
mtid you will see a dim reflection of
vliat the recording angel hab written
The more a man knows about a sub
cot the greater will be his charity for,
nlid sympathy with views differing
roin lis own.
The wise man Is happy when he gains
als own approbation, and the fool whent
0 1 econitneds himself to the applause
>f those about him.
Truth and purity, like so many gcm.s
i the life and example of the good
nan, cannot but shame and condemn
irror and vice In others.
It Is easy enioigh to make sacritices
orthose we love, but for ourenemy we
Lave to struggle and overcome self.
Weh a victory is noble.
Those who, without knowing us,
hink or speak evil of us, do us no
tarim ; it Is not us they attack, but the
Ahant >m of their own Imagination.
Politeness may prevent the want of
vit and talents tron being observed;
mut wit and talent cannot vrevent the
Ilscovery of the want of politeness.
A thoughtfulness for the comfort of
hose about us, a pleasant smile, a kind
vord--those are the ingredients of
vhIch good manners are chleily coan
Anybody can soll the reputation of
.n Individual, however pure and chaste,
y uttering a suspilton that, his ene
ales will believe and iLs friends never
If you wish success in life make
oerseverence your bosom friend, ex
lorlence your wise counsellor, caution
'our eller brother, and hope your guar
UnselfIsh people are always polite
>ecause goo-l manners are only the ab
once of self1shaness. They are the
loing unto others its we would wish to
1e done unto.
So much are we the slaves of the
vorld, that we somenmes liesItate to do
i action which is proinpted by the
eart, fearful that It may be mistaken
y others for folly.
Ile that sympathises in all the hap
iiess of others perhaps simself enjoys
he safest happness, and lie that is
varned by all the folly of others has
>erhaps attained the soundest wisdom.
"There Is good advice enough extant
or the population of three worlds like
4ira," said an old preacher; ''what we
100d most Is to have this advice prac
leally worked up into good examples."
Life has many Ills, but the nind~thit
lows every object in the most clseer
tig aspect and every doubtful disp ena
tion at8 replete with latent good, bears
vithin Itself a powerful and porpotual
Rnligion gives to virtue the sweetest
1opeS, to tilropen ting vice, just alarms,
o true repentance the most powerful
onsohations, but sie endeavors above
11 things to Inspire in men love, meek
tes4 and pity for nen.
C)ntentment produces, in some mneas
tre, all those Ailcts which the alchem
at usually ascribes to what lie calls the
>hilosephier's stone, andtii1 it (does not
rig riches it does the arme thing by
anishing the dheslre for thorn.
To ascertain the lenirth of a day andl
tight multiply the hour at whIch the
uin rises by two; the result will be
lie lengthi of the night. Miultiply the
tour at which the sunl sets by two, and
he result will be the length of the (lay.
Nothing is easier to a man of genius,
iothilg . more certain proof aind part
>fIt, thani to compose whatraises men's
vender and admuiratioin; nothmng more
lificult than to show them distinctly
lie simplest and most obvious truths.
Every man stamps his value on him
olf. T'he price we challenge for our
elves is given ,us. Themre (does not live
in earth a man, he his station what It
nay, that says "I despise myself.''
dlan is made little or great byis own
Th'le fountain of content must spring
p in the mind, and lhe who has so lit
Ie knowledge of human nature as to
eck haippiness by changing anything
itut his dI1ipositiOfl will waste his life
n fruitless cfl'orts and multiply the
;rlcfs which ho proposes to remove.
People make a great mIstake about
eaven. They think it begins up yonder,
tat Itreally begIns down hero. If you
.re hiappy In the basement-story you
ro fittd to enjoy the other stories.
nt, Is you whine and moan here, heav
n itef con not change your mood.
if' we long to brIng forth all the
ruit of the Spirit, let us strike our
'ols dJeep and wide in private prayer.
hat. faith and support, that strength
mnd .grace which we seek of God in se
ret, that they may be excused in the
our of need, God will in that hour
~ive uas before men.
A groat supply indicates a great
harge. Oh that some would thini: of
lis! A man has g rowns richer than ho
used to be. Birot her, wIth more barley
nid straw you ought to keep more
romnedarida. I mean that God does
iot .send the coran for the mice to de
troy, but he means It to be eaten.
A wvoman may be handsome or re
narkably attractive In various ways,
mut if she is not personally neat she
annot hope to win admiration.. F~ine
Jeothies will not coniceal the slattern.
A young woman with her hair alwvays
n disorder and her clothes hanging
bout her as if suspended from a prop,
a always repulsive.
The chief p)eril of the Church to-day
rises not from infidel- or ignorant as
ault. It comes from the false vows
f partial consecration of true mem
cra. A full fidelity on the part of
ach, producing a glad hartnonious
nd self-denying miistry of banded
aellevers, will most olt'eetually 'rei ute
ndl at long th utterly overthrow alli 0t.