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TRI-WEEKLY EDITION. WINNSBORO S. C.. SEPTEMBER 19 1893 ESTAEISHED 1849
Always full in Hats
and Bonnets, Flow- A
ers, Feathers, Laces, c
Nets, Veiling and la
test novelties of the
season. A competent T
and experienced mil
liner in this depart
ment fully posted in
Etc. Special attention
given to Mourning 't
and made up Hats M
and Bonnets. t
Renewing Crepe s
Veils, Etc. h(
PianoA, Parlor and Chapei se
Organs. Fifty new and im
proved light-running Family P:
Sewing Machines, vertical and
under-feed of tba best makes, Id
different styles and prices. I "
Also, a lot of good second- as
hand Sewing Machines for "'
sale cheap, by J. 0. BOAG. li
Different Sizes, li
J. 0. BOAG. Id
Always on Hand Single, b
Open and Top Buggies and t
Doule-Seated Vehicles. One. in
Horse Wagons. Singe and "
Pianos, Organs, Sewing Ma- ha
chines, Cooking Stoves, Clocks, wi
Buggies and Wagons, are all fth
shipped direct from their va- ba
rious factories, therefore nor
agents expenses or commis- wi
sions to be paid for by pur- li
chaser: The bast goods for the b
lowest prices for cash or good t~
paper, at w
i. 0. BOAG'S OLD STAND.
wihBedro Suits, Paror Suits,
waedrobes, Side-boards, Mattresses, o
Chairs, Tales, Bed-steads, Cradle;s,
Picture Frames, Chromos, Baby Car
rges and other goods. Call and get st;
Mr.reston t ion will always give yo
bis kind attention and treat you right,
ssd sold asiow asthelowest r
v work is done; the eventide Is here;
Mly wages now I ask of Thee.
ot golt nor jewels o I erave, my Lord,
liut A ater, set ny spirt; free!
bi- shadcws lengthen on my glacier path.
H e.av:er th.e chains that fret me hele;
tsk for freedom from their crushieg weight.
'Xis life, not death, I hold In fear!
y work Is done; the bour of rest draws near;
lhe vesper-bells toll clear and sweet.
ito the aaed should be spared, myzv Lord,
The pains that torture tired feet.
cording to my need, I ask of Thee
I hat Thou bestow the promised wage.
faithful 1 have been in small and great,
Wilt'l huu not now my pangs assuage?
v work Is done: take me within the gat
Where enter <.nly those Thou wilt;
city lilahted by jity glory great,
The ettiy not by mortalb built.
>nie quickly. I beseech. aud freely give
I he guerdon in its full aegree,
hich Thou hast proinilsed unto every man
ccordtin" as his work shall be.
t. Master, not my will. brt Thine, be done.
ln rher I %:it; forgive iny prayer1
iou kinowest best if here I'in needed still,
rhou knowest if I'm needed there.
:e %:ages are not due till work is done:
Wrinssive to the end I'll be,
owiug Thy precious pronise never falls,
rhat may reward still rests with Thee!
ara Jes up Moore. bj Au2ust LiPP'isCOTT'.
AS GO8MT1Y E1OUNFR.
"I wish to go over to your Annt
th's and stay over night," said Mrs.
anly to her daughter Celaine, a
ight girl of 13. "Your father can
ke the horse and drive over, and it
11 be much more pleasant than for
to take the cars, and may be have
walk over from the station, a full
lle and a half, s there is only one
rse and buggy to take people, and
metimes several to be taken. 1
ought now as your cousin Philip was
xre for company for you and Hal, it
>ld be a good time, for us to get
"Oh, I am so glad you are goin!Z,"
Ld Celaine, clapping her hands. "You
ver allowed me to keep house alone
ifore. Won't it be fun."
"I hope you'll be steady, child, and
e to things good-'tend to the milk,
it's good time to make batter, in
"Il try to d my very best, mother,
> surely can trust me?"
"I think I can, or I should not go.
hink I'll 'tend to the churning to
rrow, do up a lot of baking, and
'll go the next morning."
Celaine stood in the kitchen door as
r father and mother were leaving,
d her mother said: "There's a jar
sced- cookies and a plate of cold
ague in'the cellar cupboard, and you
n have some peach preserves for
pper. Take good care of the fire, so
e house will not burn," and by the
ne all this was said, the horse had
ken Mr. Manly and wife so far down
e road Celaine could no longer hear.
-'We'll have lots of fun," said Hal,
>m the wood-shed door, where lie
is preparing kindlings.
"I expect you are old enough to be
ve yourself," answered Celaine, as
e was clearing the table of dishes.
"I'm only a year younger than your
if," replied Hal. "You are not 14
til next month, remember."
"No quarreling," spoke up Philip
Lymond. ".Remember 1 am 16," then
o three langbe'. Everything moved
clock work within the Manly bome
ring the lay; but when night drew
ar, a spice of mischief grew within
a brain of Hal, and he said to Philip
they were going in with the milk:
aess us scare Celamne a little. We'll
ourselves up in sheets, and groan a
tle, and see what she will do,"
"That would not be right," answered
"It isn't so very wrong, either, if we
n't extend the time of frightening her
ry long. Celame always prided her
.f on being courageous, and not be
ving one bit in ghosts. Now I do,
she is always laughing at me," and
L, who had often smarted under his
ter's sneers at his foolish belief,
ught he would get even with her for
"Did you ever h'ear any of us tell
t this house was said to be haunted?"
"Not that I remember."
"Well, the Morses, who lived here
fore we did, say it was. An old man
tie name of Boole built the house,
d he and his wife 'died very suddenly,
d a good many thought there must
ye been fojul play, and it was said
awere sometimes seen at night,
essed in white, while a blue light
tde the room look very strange.
"ut we've lived here quite a num
r o years and never once seen any.
ig o~f the kind."
"You can do as you like about scar
Syour sister, hal, but I shall have
thing to do about it."
"Oh, all 1 wanted of you was not to
on about it, and stand by and hear
Hal went into the house with his
uds in his pockets, and stood
ditling pretty loud while Celaine
mmenced straiung the milk, and
en he suddenly disappeared up the
ek stairs, and going into his bed
om took one of the sheets off his
atly made bed, threw it out of the
now, and went down stairs whist
g agamn as unconcernedly as possi
Going out in the orchard back of
e house, Hal proceeded to make his
usual toilet, wondering all the while
ire Phil could be. As the wind
w rather cool, and the would-be
ost was somewhat afraid of real
Losts, ho concladed to reconnoi!.re
e a few moments, and then perhaps
Listening for a time, Hal heard no
iise and concluded Celaine was read
g, and that prhaps P'hil had gone to
e postofie, a mile away, as ho often
C. Going to the door, Hal rapped.
in instead of Celaine coming to the
oor, as he expected, a strange voice
id: "come in."
Opening the door, Hal witnessed a
ange scene, and one which made his
ir stand upright, if the barber had
t enough of it to do so. The room
L5 filled with a ghostly blue light,
vealing a white form withmn the
droom door, and another tall, white
ed form advancing toward him with
ng, rapid stridcs. Hal waited to see
>thing more, but screaming at the
p f hi lngs, "Lord have mercy on
me, and PI never do so again, he
beat a hasty retreat, while the tall,
gAunt figure rushed out after him,with
a mocking laugh.
Hal tried to rid himself of his tightly
wound costume, but became the worse
entangled, and falling in his great
fright, never once ceased rolling until
be had reached the foot of the hill,
back of the orchard.
For a few moments Hal lay there,
not daring to open his eyes for fear of
seeing that tall, gaunt form, with its
skinny fingers clutching at him. Once
he was sure he heard laughter, and it
did not sound like a ghost either. But
the question now was what should he
It was nearly half a mile to ihe near.
est neighbor's and Hal dared not go
near his own home, which was now
occupied by the Booles in f all force.
"Are you hurt, Hal, dear?" as!;ed
Celaine's soft voice, and Hal was cer
tain it was never so sweet before.
"Not much, I guess. Bat help me,
Sis, I'm all tangled up."
"Why, how came you so, Hal?"
"Playing the fool to frighten you.
I'll be honest."
"And three played at the s'ime
game," said Phil, lughing." And who
"It was not I," said Hal, throwing
off the sheet Celaine had patiently un
Hal was the most obliging of boys
after this, his only request being:
"Don't tell father and mother any
thing about the Boole affair, please "
And Phil and Celaine promised they
certainly would not; while Celaine
gave Hal an extra dish of peach pre
serve, as she said:
"What if you had broken your necl
going down that hill; only to think o1
it, what danger you were in."
.1"I was a fool," answered Hal in dis
S. ROSALIE SILL, in Boston Budget.
Miss Mary Upham, of Boston, re
cently contributed $300 to the College
Settlement Association, which sum
pays for the first fellowship. The as
sociation has for its object the social
improvement of the masses, and is
operating for good in the slums of
New York, Boston and Chicago. The
fellow is expected to spend thirty-five
weeks of the year in residence at the
College Settlement. M ss Upham't
subscription will elect a Boston resi
dent. A second fellowsnip, also pro
vided by a Boston lady, will support a
fellow at Hall House, in Chicago. The
expense of residence in the settlements
is about $3 a week, or $175 a year.
This includes board, lodgings and
washing, and with the remaining $125
the fellow is expected to pay for the
incidental expenses, such as books,
carfare, postage, flowers, amusements,
afternoon teas, coffee and wafers, etc,,
contracted in the course of fellowship
with the lowly and lonely elasses. O(nce
or twice a week the resident has two
dinner guests and the extra course, or
the flower favors provided in their
honor, must come oat of the fellow
Faraday was the first to elicit the
electric spark from the magnet; he
found that it is visible at the instant ol
breaking and of renewing the contact
of the conducting wires, and only then.
In illustration of this, "Blackwood"
had the following clever lines:
"Around tne magnate Faraday
1 sure that Volta's lightnings play:
But how to draw them from the wire?
He took a lesson from the heart;
'Tis when we mnet, 'tis when we part,
Brea forth the elec'ric flre.''
WHAT WOMEN ARE D)OING.
The only woman who ever asked Ioi
a degree from John Hopkins Univer
sity is Miss Florence Bascom. Bei
subjects are organic geology and palm
ontology. Her thesis, on the vchcanic
rocks of South Mountain, was preparec
last Summer during a stay at Monterey
Springs. It involved a careful exam
ination of a mountainous area of five
miles square, durirng which M1iss Bas
com was the object of much curiosity
on tbe part of the natives, who dub
bed her "the stone woman." The
results of her work ha.ve attracted
much attention among the geologists
of this chantry, and her thesis is re
garded at the university as the besi
ever urepared in the geologic ii depart
ment: It has been accepted by the
authorities as entirely satisfactory and
will shortly be published in full.
Mrs. R. P. W. Packard, who hai
probably accomplished more in estab
lishing the rights of woman than any
other one woman, is passing the Sam
mer in Chicago. For twenty-five yeari
she has devoted her life to establishing
the legal rights of woman. She is nol
a woman suffragist, and her friends
think that alone she has accomplished
more than the combined effort of the
Suffrage Association. Congress and
legssetures have listened to her arga
ments, passing the bills she advocated.
and placing on the statute books, lawa
which have given married women equa
rights with men in control of childrer
A Hligh Atmosphere.
Beyond 29,000 feet above sea level.
he bight reached by Glaisher it
862, man has never bc.n able t<
navigate the air. Various problema
concerning the region farther away
such as temfpcrature, the pressure.
the Quantity of moisture, the compo
sition or the air, etc.--have attracted
the attentioJn of physicists, and have
at last led to the experiments of M.
Hermite, who, duzring the last few
months, has been sending up pilo1
balloons, carrying registering appar
atus. These balloons are very light,
with a capacity of about 100 to 2t.(
cubic feet. Falling at a distance
from Paris ranging up to 200 miles,
the balloons have nearly all been :e
turned by their finders, as reque~sted
on a card attached to each. and oIne
has brought down records from a
height of 30,000 feet. The instru
ments used are very light and simple.
With larger balloons and systemati(
exploration. it is hoped that the se
crets of the air up to at least 40,000
feet may be made as familiar to us as
those of the deepest and darkest
ienths of the sea are gradually be
AN ACT OF PROVIDENCE.
ft Saved the Trains, but Not the Dia
"I didn't leave my job of my owl
imeord," said the ex-train d!spatcher
as he settled himself down to his
yarn, "and my being bounced was a
mean piece of business. If Provi
dence was ever on the side of an over
worked an underpaid railroad em
ploye it was with me that last night,
and the superintendent ought to have
-ealized the fact. It was on an Ohio
.ailroad. and the headquarters were
.n Cincinnati. We'd bad a strike,
,wo or three asidents and a row at
aeadquarters, and I'd been doing two
mein's work for ten nights past. On
6his last night I was clean played out
and asked for a reliet, but nobody
was to be had. When the line is
working all right and a man Is feel
ing g:>od, train dikpatching is as easy
as rollir' off a log. You can locate
every train on the rails within ahun
:red rods, and unless some pig-headed
conductor refuses to obey instructions
here's no chance for an accident.
"That night I had four througL
)assenger trains, two locals, a Blue
Line, and two o: three regular f reights
to look after. Everything was all
right up to about midnight. At that
hour the western express would reach
Kingsville and sidetrack for the lim
ited going east and due at 12:10. I
gave the customary order, as I
thought, and it was 12:30 before it
suddeniy flashed across me that I had
aade a imix of it. For thirty seconds
[ was ascold as ice from head to heels,
nd then a hot wave seemed to strike
me, and I came near fainting away.
I had ordered the expre.s to run to
DIamondale, where I meant it for
the Blue Line. She'd meet the lim
ted head-on about four miles west of
Kingsville, and both trains had a full
omplement of passengers. it was
too late for me to stop either one,
ind I was just about to order out a
wrecking train, telegraph the com
pany doctors and rouse out the super
intendent, when I got a call from
Roert's Crossing. This was a milk
tation, but a telegraph operator had
been put there only the day before.
He had been routed out of bed at a
iarmhouse near by to communicate
"You may doubt my statement.
3ut you wouldn't If you had been on
alther of those trains. They were
lying for each other like cyclones,
when the engine on the limited col
.apsed a flue and was brought to a
standstill within a hundred feet of
the station, with engineer and fire
nan badly scaldcd. At . tb-- a.-?
,Ime the express-struck a cow stand
ng on the track, and though not de
ailed, was brought to a stop scarcely
i hundred feet on the other side.
rhere they were, headed for each
)ther with only one chance in a thou
sond of escaping an awful calamity,
mnd yet Providence gave me that
hance. The officials ought to have
iven me another show, but I got the
ounce. and have staid bounced ever
ince. I'm selling a patent washing
nachine now, and not taking any
Love and Toothache.
As all roads were said to lead to,
ome, so all sorts of paths seem to
ead to love- Cupid uses the high
ays and by-ways, the short-cuts and
he circuitous routes, just as the
ancy seizes him. Toothache, one
would think, would not be likely to
prove an impulse to matrimony, but
icording to a dispatch from Nor
walk, Ct., that was what prompted
he recent marriage cf a couple near
ihat city. They had both been stay
.ng at a farmhouse in the vicinity,
md the gentleman being attacked by
~he toothache jumped into a carriage
o drive to the nearest dentist's. The
ady volunteered to accompany him,
probably to sooth his pain by her
~resence, and her companion was so
nuch touched by her solicitude that
2e proposed marriage on the way. As
2e was suffering so dreadfully from
he toothache. she thought she mig ht
nrease his pain by refusing and con
~ented promptly in order to make
aim feel better. As he was about to
ose a tooth he concluded that he
ught to have at once a helpmate to
~ompensate him for his loss and so
topped by at a minister's and was
narried before he faced tne dent'st.
As soon as the ceremony was per
~ormed, the tooth stopped aching,
id he found to his joy that he had
aned a wife without losing a molar.
Iatrimiony would thus seem to be a
~ure for the sharpest of aches-possi
>y the cynics may say by substi~ut
ng a general and chronie pain for a
articular and temporary one.-Bal
Herr Noll, a mechanician of Ber.
angen, Germany. has constructed a
~lock warranted to run for 9.00years
without w.nd.nz. Mr. D). L. Golf, in
this country, has in his hail an old
ashioned clock which, so long as the
house is occupied, never runs down.
Whenever the front door is opened or
:losed the winding arrangements of
the clock, which are connected with
the door by a rod with gearing at
tachments, are given a turn, so that
persons entering or leaving the house
keep the clock constantly woundl up.
Mr. T. G. Farrer or Fresno. Cal.. in
vented a clock, the only motive
power of which, he alleges, is the
ravitation of the carth, which keep'
the clock runnijng forever without
winding. This clock consists of a
plate glass dill suspended from the
ceiling, and all the parts of it that
are visible are the two hands, the
pivot on which they swing and the'
ia. In 1840 Mr. J. Smith, Leeds,
England, constructed a clock, the
mole motor of which was electricity.
HErael or 1see thia clot k go for fifts
yeari. Clocki are now mad'e to r-M
five years with one winding up. jI
1881 the Belgian Government place<
one of these in a rgitlway station an<
sealed it with the government seal
It is said to have kept eapitat time
having only been twice wound-I1
1886 and 1891. There Is a clock I
the church of St. Qitentin, Mayence
which is said to have stopped onl.
once during a period of 500 years.
On the Vasty Deep.
I notice an item in the press stat
log that the Olty of Peking, in he
recent trip, sailed 1,240 miles with
out meeting a single sail, and thl
fact is cited as showing the lonelines
of the Pacific Ocean, says the Wash
In the summer of 1850 I left Sal
Francisco on a sail vessel (formerl;
from Baltimore) for Panama, distan
4,000 miles, and on the entire route
which lasted forty-three days, w
never saw a sail.
Loneliness is no word for it
especially when we lay becalmed ii
the tropic, with our vessel floating a
helplessly about as a chip on a mil
pond, the ground swells keeping a]
the monotonous roll of the vesse
from side to side all day and nigh1
and day after day, each roll beini
accompanied by a flap of the sails anc
a creaking bf the riggitt that migh1
have passed for the flap of the wingi
and the wall of lost spirits.
When we read about Noah and hii
rk we are apt to think that he mus1
have bad rather a lonely time, bul
then he was out only forty days, and
besides, with all the animals, etc., oi
board, he had plenty to occupy hi
time and attention and If he wantet
imusement to while away the t'm(
be had only to stayt a sparring matel
between his monkeys and parrots
rrue, there is no report of any suct
proceeding on his part, but that il
ioubtless because there was no mod
3rn newspaper reporter on board.
I tell you, a man can't realize whal
oneliness or comfort is until he hai
made some such trin, and If he want4
o complete his education in thal
Ine he sbould preface it with a traml
)f 2,000 miles over the mountains and
tcross the deserts amid wolves and
Nild Indians, as thQusands of "forty
The Trump of Fame.
The dignity of the trumpet Ia
?roved by its association with certaiE
'amous personifications. Thus, one
ever sees Fame, Honor, or Victory
ithout a trumpet. For that matter,
L great many mortals are never see!
without, - Un AecamDaniment of the
janre Rn;, vtrich. Abey-ionW Ati
night and main in order to catch the
ttention of their fellows. The
;rumpet in this sense is almost Indis
pensable; the bigger your trumpet,
he louder your fanfare, the greater
will be your success.
Politicians, priests, authors, actors.
professors, agitators, philanthropists,
ll blowing their loudest in order tc
blow themselves Into popularity oi
place or pelf or p'wer! There are
men and women with wares to sell
heir consciences, their pens, their
Jalents-who, by persistent trumpet
ing, get them disposed of at thei:
>wn price. The wares may be sadia
lamaged, but the loud advertisement
3onfuses and overcomes the buyer.
3ther vendors, with better stuff te
sell,get never a bid because they can
aot handle their trumpets or are toc
;crupulous to make use of them.
Sometimes, it is true, the staple is o.
;uch excellent quality that the peo
le crowd round to buy it even with
ut "a flourish of trumpets."-All
~he Year Round. .
The Telephone in Turkey.
The influence of the telepone has
enerally been regarded as salutary,
but the Sultan of Turkey evidentlj
Lakes a different view of it. He de
rlned to have it in his dominions al
a v price. Not only has he forbidder
elephone lines to be laid down i
Contantinople, but he objecte t<
Lhem even in the other large towns,
such as Smyrna and Salonica HI
says that his subjecta are far tot
ready, as it is, to plot and conspire
and make his lfe a burden, and he
does not propose to introduce a means
whereby they can do this twice as
easily as they could before. This
feeling of the Sultan is so well knowr
that for considerable time those in
Ierested in telephone matters haye
ceasrd to apuly for concasdons in the
land. of tfle Turk
A Heresy Conference.
The Inter Ocan says of Young
afanAfraid-of-Ris-Horses, who die(
he other day: Only once at an early
lay, was his authority questioned.
A~fter his tirst trip to Washington he
narrated to his people who had nevel
been off the reservation, and who hac
never seen anything but a one-stori
Iouse, the sights and incidents 0f his
trip lie told theru about the iror
horse that carricd him away and
brought him back. They could un
3erstand all about that It wai
white man's medicine. He told then
a bout talging wires (telegraph). The,
understamnd that also, It was whit<
man's magic. He told them aboul
the high buildings at Washington
fve and six storiss high. This wa
too much. They could stand talkin:
wires and iron herses, but six teepee!
built on top of each other was to<
foolish for belief. "Young-Man
was a great liar and 'would have ti
take it back. "Young-Man." how
ever, insisted on it, and they coul<
not doubt his sincerity. The heres:
conference which had the matter i
band agreed that the whites ha<
given "Young-Man" something t<
drink which had bewitched him
For a time 'ere was much talk o
getting a ne~ ehief.
1. T. Was Inclined to Raie a Row About
the New Aoquisition.
Mr. Topnoody was eating his sup
per very peacefully, and was enjoying
it so much that he had not noticed
how ominously quiet his wife wa.s, at
the other end of the table.
"Topnoody," she said, with such
force, just as he bit a piece out of a
biscuit that he almost choked on t, "I
understand you have got a new type
writer in your office."
rYe, my dear, I have," he re
4 plied in innocent surprise.
"Well, now," she exclaimed, grow
s ing red in the face, "I ion't have it,
A man at your age of life ought to
know better, even It he has no re.
gard for his wife and family. There
are men who might, with a certain
t brazen e;rontery, do as you have
lone, but a man of family, as yob
are, and a member of the church-I
am shocked beyond utterance."
Mr. Topnoody looked as if he wert
- snffering from the same sort of
s shock, for he was absolutely speech.
p "Don't try to deny .it or to &Z
I plain," she went on ankrily, "for yot
b have not only admitted it, but you
h bave admitted it to me, and I shall-"
"But, my dear," began Mr. T., re.
ever!ng his utterance.
"on't sneak to me," she said, "you
have taken that thing into your office
when you promised me faithfully you
a never would have another, and,
D worst of all, this one is only 20 years
old, and the other near 40 if she wat
, day," and she began sobbing.
"I don't know, my dear, how old
the other one was," said Mr. V with
a quiet smile, now that the light had
dawned on him, "but if the one I got
yesterday is twenty years old, I'm go
ing to raise a row with the agent who
sold it to me, for he assured me it
had just come from the factory."
"I'm an idiot," sobbed Mrs. T.,
Looking up Zoyfully.
"Yes. dear," responded Mr. T.,
caking another bite out of the bis
A Trc'c That Did Not Win.
A curious law case has been heard
in Berlin. In the year 1891, in Rus
sian Poland, a quantity of placards
were placed on the walls inviting the
peope to emigrate to Brazil, saying
that a Polish kingdom would be
founded, and that, if they.went to
Bremen, they would be forwarded
acrcss the ocean. An immense num.
ber of emigranus tnereupon traveled
to Bremen, only to learn that they
--oz have no free passage. Having
no means ofielurning to Poland they
soon spentt heir- ia t -penny --n- In
Bremen inns. When the Poor soard
round that they were paupers and
iiigely to become a burden on the
community a drastic measure was
taken. A railway train was prepared
and the Poics were told that it
would take them straight to Brazil.
About a th. us.:nd of them entered it
and were speedily taken to Berlin. In
that city the wretched wanderere
naturally found their way tothe pub
lic refuges and the Berlin Poor Board
was obliged to take care of them and
feed them until they could be dis.
i;atched gradunally to their several
homes. The Berlin Poor Board theb
sued to recover expenses from the
Bremen Poor Board, and the courts
have just decided that the lattez
must pay up. The railway trick does
not seem quite so smart now as it did
a little while ago.
An Unlooked-for Customer.
Theophrastus Esculapius Stubbe,
proprietor of the "Universal Life
Everlasting Golden Bitters," was in
his ofice, arid about him were gath
eredJ an eager group, listening to an
account or the wonderful cures he had
;vrought with his medicine.
B3y and by a man in somber garb
a thin, pale-faced man, sedate and
melancholy-entered the office and
inquired for the proprietor.
"I am the man," said Theophras
tus Esculapius Stubbe, with dignity.
"You are the proprietor of the
"Universal Lite- Everlasting Golden
Bitters?" said the pale visitor.
"l am. How can I help you?"
"I have come to see If I couldn't
get you to establish an agency for
your bitters in our town. I want
you to sendl a smart man-one who
can sell a large quantity of your medi
Theophrastus rnbbed his banns and
"You see." pursued the somnber
visitor, "my business is getting dullI
and I thought with your help we
might ievive it."
"Cant you take the agency your.
self, my friend?" asked the great
"No, no," said the melancholy
man with a shake of the head. "It
wouldn't do for me. People might
think that I was interested:"
'Ah! What is your business?"
al am an undertaker!"
-Wrir.N a girl is in love, she doesn't
Sbelieve anything mean that is said'
about any man.
'THE UsUA~L s"EEcII.
flikins-"So, after courting that girl
for ten years, you at last got up spunk
enough to propose?"
3Wilkins-"Yes, proposed last nigt
>r guess it'll be all right."
' "E~h! Dizin't she accept?"
>"Not exactly, but I think she will."
-"What did she say?"
S"It's so sudden?"-Yew Tork Wekly.
STh~e London Optican says that great
2men are usually blue eyed,and instanc
Ses shakespeare, 8oerates, Locke, Ba-.
'con, Milton, Goethe, ffranklin, Napo
I leon, Bismark, Gladstone, Buxley,
virebo and Renan
Two or three years ago an Anstriaa
sivil engineer was traveling in Cey
lon. Near Pasadena, one of the lame
cities, was a botainical garden, which
Is considered one of the finest In the
world. One afternoon the engineer
strolled around the gardens admiring
the tropical plints and examining
the curious forms of vegetable life
with which the gardenabounded. -At
length he became very tired, and the
day being warm, even for Ceylon, be
lay down and was soon fast asleep.
What happened is best tdid in hi*
I must have slept an hour when I
was awakened suddenly by a queer,
uncanny feeling, and opened my eyes.
Judge of my surprise when I saw
perched upon my feet, body, and even
ipon my shoulders, a lot of little
oionkeys, while all about me, and
beaming down upon me from the
trees, were monkeys of all sizes and
ages. It seemed to me there were
myriads of them. I was frightened,
for I knew these monkeys were wild,
and, In their wild state, I did not
know what so many of them might do.
I gave one leg a twitch, then the
ither, and bounded to my feet, throw
.ng off all that were gamboling over
and about me. In a second the mon
keys vanished, and only here and
there, :eering down from the tops of
the tall bamboo and rubber trees,
:ould I see any of them.
I was very much alarmed, for thi
appearance of so many of them wa,
entirely unexpected. It was a week
before I got over my fright. It ap
peared, however, that the monkeys
had meant no harm to me. The
congrees had been called, and their
examination of me as I lay upon the
ground was merely out of curiosity to
divine what kind of an object I was.
Nevertheless, I vowed never to go to
sleep again in a wild tropical forest,
even if it were called a botanical
Why Flowers Sleep.
Why should flowers sleep? asks Sir,
yohn Lubbock in "The Beauties of
Nature and the Wonders of the
World We Live in." Why should
some flowers do so and hot others?
Moreover, different flowers keep dif.
ferent hours. The daisy opens at
sunrise and closes at sunset, whence
its name, "day's eye," The dande
lion (Leoniodon) is said to open about
7 and to 'close about 5; Arenaria
rubra to be open from 9 to 3; the
white water lily (Nymphaa) from
about 7 to 4; the common mouse-ear
hawkweed (Hieracium) from 8 to 3;
the scarlet pimferned (Anagallis) to
waken at 7 and close soon after 2;
whence its English name, "John go
to bed at noon." Farmers' boys in
some parts ars said to regulate their
dinner time by it. Other flowers, on
the contrary, open in the evening.
Now it is obvious that flowers
which are fertilized by night-flying
insects would derive no advantage
from being open by day; and on the
uther hand, that those which are fer
tilized by bees would gain nothing
by being open at night. Nay, It
would be a distinct disadvantage, be
cause it would render them liable te
be robbed of their honey and pollen
by insects which are not capable of -
fertilizing them. I have ventured
to suggest. then, that the closing of
the flowers may have rcfeyence to the
habits of the Insects, and it may be
observed also in support of this that
wind-rertilized flowers do not sleep;
and that many of those glowers which
attract insists by smell opien and
emit their scant at particular hours;
thus Hesperus matronalis and Ly
chis vespertira smell in the evening
and Orchis bifolia is particularly sweet
A Princess of Method.
Although a good listener, says an
English p~aper, the Princess May
never hesitates to ask'questions if she
does not thoroughly understand the
line of argument. She seldom dis
cusses a charity scheme without se
curing a supporter. No matter
whether it be In a country house or
at home, If the opportunity offers, the
wants and wishes of her proteges are
always put forward, and the result Is
generally a check: or promise of help.
But it must not be supposed that she
accepts other people's facts and fig
ures. On the contrary, she makes
her own inquiries and marshals them
in a way that would do credit to i'
financier or a stateman.
Order and regularity are with her
principles of life-never is anythinir
out or place, never is an opportuOity
missed. There is a time for getting
up In the morning, and, when possi
ble, a time for retiring to rest at
night,. Part of the day Is always sc1
aside for reading and being read to.
No matter how distasteful the task,
if it be necessary to do it, it is done,
and done, too, in time. and in proper
form and order. In her boudoir you
will find the books properly classified.
Pens and pencils are neatly arranged
on the writing table. -In short, there
Is a place for everything, and every
thing is In its place. These are qua!
ities indispensable to people of great
position, and it must be yery gratify
ir g to the public to know that Prin
'ess May possesses them.
Sheets of paper are used for money
in Corfu.one sheet purchasing a quart
of rice, twenty sheets a piece of hem1;
cloth, etc. We, too, use sheets of pa
per for money, but they 'are pretty,
well covered by the Government wic hi
original designs in green Ink be ore
they acquire any purchasing value.
. ALXtsT every one who isn't sixneen
and pretty, locks very lonome ai