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TRI-WEEKLY EDITION. WINNSBORO, S. C., FEBRUARY 19, 1895. ESTABLISHED 1849.
mr John Thompson, the late Premfew ?
of Canada. left an estate of but a few
thousand dollars. He was a man whom
New York police officials could not un.
Automatic hanging Is well enough,
but give us an automatic police ma
chinery, by which a man can arrest
himself just as be is about to commit
The noble animal doesn't mind being
driven out of business by the trolley,
but he will be sure to draw the line on
the movement to popularize horsr
Boss Platt, of New York, has left Di.
Parkhurst's church and now worships
elsewhere. A good many people be- J
lieve in preaching against sin'in the ab
stract, but object when the pastor at
tacks their own personal sins.
A real estate boom is on in ancien.
Palestine. The railroad from Jaffa to
Jtruqalem has proved paying property, 1
rnd now the company proposes to
build an extensive system of docks at 5
Jaffa for the accommodation of ships )
hs.t go.that lay.
The Pacific Ocean covers G7,000,000
of the 188,000,000 square miles com
prising the earth's surface, and the At
lar-tic rolls over 31,000,000 more. -
When Mr. Bull annexes all the remain
ing odds and ends of dry land he will
go into extensive pumping operations.
It should be said in praise of St Pati.
that a recent trip, including visits to
several other cities, of several alder
men, to investigate the garbage ques- E
tion, was not a junket at the public ex
pense. A St. Paul newspaper says that E
the aldermen "paid their own expenses;
they exercised their own judgment;
they asked no favors either at home or T
abroad. and they returned fully quali- C
fled to talk and act intelligently on thIs
Important subject." This Is indeed a
credituble showing, and it Is so wide a
departure from a common though scan
dalous custom that it should be ex
ploited as evidence of good citizenship
and for an example.
Conan Doyle's latest story, "The Par- t
asite," describes the case of a young e
professor in a medical college, who is
brought under hypnotic control by a d
woman, with consequences to himself
which are ony prevented from ending h
in absolute Insanity or in crime, by the a
sudden death of the woman herself. 1
The first impression received in read- 1
iug the story may be that it is exagger
ated and improbable; a second, and t
perhaps more just one, that it really tj
shows what the hypnotic craze may h
- row into, if allowed to have its way, ti
ai-d work mischief after its own na- n
tine. Facts of actual occurrence ap
pear to justify this apprehension, at
least so far as to indica-e possibilities I
of instigation to crime, or pernicious V
consequences inherent In the thing it- ii
elf, such as will justify measures of d
urevention in some form. I
Bandits are becoming extraordinarily t.
enterprising. Time was when they ~
-were content to "hold up" individuals "
and take what they could get. Then s
they began "holding up" people by the '
stageload, and when that became tame
they took a trainload at a time, forcing '~
every one to give up his or her valua- ,
bles. That in its turn became too mild
a diversion for the more enterprising, i
and then nothing less than an express I
messenger would do them. Watches
and jewels were scorned, and they 11
would have nothing but cash, which Si
the messenger was usually compelled I
V to take from the safe in the- express
car. It seemed for a short time then p
as if the limit had been reached, but it c1
had not. Those old bandIts took the 1
money, but they always left the safe,
while a gang that appeared in Texas d
recently took both safe and money. t]
And now it is hard to say where this c
business will stop. Will they take the y
car itself the next time? If so, of course,
the time after that It will be In order
for them to take the whole train. Then, (
if It goes much farther, cities will have sa
to be kept in safety deposit vaults, a
A disgusted newspaper man who has
just quit the business gives the follow
ing' tale of woe as his reason for doing t
so: "A child is born, the doctor in at
tendance gets $10, the editor notes it
cnd gets 0; it is christened, the min
iter gets $4, the editor gets 00; it mar
ries, the minister gets another fee, theC
..dltor gets a piece of cake, or 000; in
the course of time it dies, the doctor
gets from $5 to '$10, the minister gets
another $4, the undertaker gets $25 to
p.0, the editor publishes it and receiver '
Chicago citizens are indulging In
some wondering comment on the
prompt arest of the three murderers of I
Policeman Duddles. If a private citi
zen is killed by footpads or burglars.,
It is a toss-up whether or not the mur
derer Is ever apprehended, or If he
does not escape on trial. But In the
Duddles case, word went out from
headquarters that the murderers must
be. brought in dead or alive, and in less
than twenty-four hours they were all
In custody. The public draws a
strange inference that the life of a blue-.
coat Is held In higher regard by the
police than that~of a private citizen.
The authorities of Chelsea, Mass.,
tave the bells all rung 15 minutes be
fore the polls open on election morn- 1
-HE MAN WHO KNEW IT ALL.
le knew it all, and from his birth liw v;as. a child
Kor never did he once adnIt anothor an vas
Ln' thus through seventy years of life he brave
ly tolled along.
Elmself exactly alus right the hull worl' allus
ie'd tear yer arglmunts right down from suller
stairs to gb e,
Ie'd dispute the ten comman'ments an' the mul
Ln' contervert the almanick ez stubborn as a
Ln' conterdict the calendar an' 'spute the golden
Ln' w'en a kid he went to school an' did sums or
ie'd wrastle with the teacher in a thirteen hour
he'd show him thet the 'rifentic wus dead agin
Ln' then he'd Jest set down an' prove the 'rifen
tie wuz wrong.
Kn' she couldn' get him In a hole frum w'ich he
could not climb,
e'd swear that two an' nine wuz three, an'
prove It every tirne;
LU' as his arglinunts warmed Lp the bolder
would he -row,
e'd prove ttat six times eight wuz one, an'
make her see 'twas so.
Ils nelghbors couldn' git roun' the wretch an'
didn' dare to shoot him,
he school marm caved right into him, the par
son dasn't 'spute him,
ou might quote tlb law an' prophets, but. no
facts he ever dreaded,
e would wado into his argimunt an' go for 'em
ou might hurl yer keenest logic, but no logic
ever seat him,
ou might pelt him with your school books, you
:cigit tirow ver lible at him,
11 the more thei you threw at him all the more
would he be merry,
or he'd , rastle with the hymn book an' he'd
throw tho diotionary.
ut one dav he wuz taken sick, they called the
he doctor bald, "You're very Ill;" It only made
You have the typhoid fever, sir." Says he.
-.'Tis my desire
o demonstrate to you forthwith that you're a
n' then he sut right up in bed resolved to dis
n' prove unto the doctor he wuz jest ez well as
ut th- dea!h rattle In his throat choked up his
voice ere long,
e die:l precisely as he proved that he was well
[e nroved that he wtiz well and strong, an' then
lay down an' died,
.n' all the men in the neighborhood were sweet
he docor's head with flattery was filled up to
Oz no nmm, 'ceptin' he, before lied got the best
ON EVEN TERMS.
"You appear to forget that this fellow
raughan has the reputation of being
ne of the most desperate criminals
tat ever stepped. 'King of the Coin
s' he is rightly named; but it is
hiefly because he is at the head of a
angerous gang. And because, by a
icky chance, you have found out that
e is living in private lodgings under
a assurmed name, makes it none the
ss risky for us two alone to attempt
It was a decidedly dissatisfied tone
1t Mr. Roche, the well-known detec
ve, ur'ged upon his superior officer the
azardous nature of the business
iey were upon; but Arnold Bond
erely smiled good-humoredly as he
"Whatever risk there may be, Roche.
think I shall face. And as I expect
> take our man entirely by surprise,
I the very bosom of his family, I
on't anticipate much resistance. Still,
am prepared for it, and don't think
lat he will easily give us the slip. For
le rest, you will simply carry out my
istructions," and the last few words
crc spoken in a way which effectually
lenced any further objections from
The last rays of twilight were fading
'hen, on this summer evening, the twc
isguised detectives knocked at the
oor of an unpretentious-lookinighouse
a quiet street of the East end of
Almost immediately, a respectable
oking woman opened the door, and
:epping back, said, before Bond could
"Ah, sir, I don't believe the~y ex
ected vou again; but it's well you've
me, for the poor mite is very bad,
With the ever-ready wit of a shrewd
etective, quick to take advantage of
e slightest error, Bond instantly
hecked the exclamation of surprise
hich sprang instinctively to his lips,
nd, stepiang in, quiet!y observed:
"Indeed, I am sorry to hear that.
)ur usual friend could not come him
elf, but, as his partner, I thought it
dvisable to look in again. Let me
ee-rs. Sutton, second floor, is it
Neither of the detectives scarce yen
uired to breathe as they anxiously
aited to see the result of this rather
"Oh, I took you for Dr. Dalton his
elf, sir! 'Yes, second floor. Its rather
ark, but I daresay you can find your
rav up. Lor' ! 1 never knowed before
s how the doctor had a partner."
"This gentleman is merely a friend
f mine. If you don't mind, he will
vait. for me in the passage. I don't
uppose I will be many minutes," Bond
aid, inwardly chuckling with satisfac
ion at the lucky mistake which had,
idoubtedly, saved him and his comn
>anion no little trouble at the outset.
Leaving his subordinatte-who had
reviously received careful instructions
-Arnold Bond, with heart beating a
itt:.e faster than usual, cautiously
noanted the dark, narrow staircase and
apped at a closed door facing him.
Then, without waiting for any reply,
Le instantly opened it, and as quickly
teped into the room and shut the
lo<:-r after him again.
"Surrender yourself my prIsoner,
iehael Vaughan, alias Ralph Sutton,"
te said sternly, as a tall, bearded man
p:ang hastily to his feet with a startled
Xelaationl and confronted him,
A momentary pause; then, with an
>th, the coiner snatched up a chair,
td raising it above his head was about
hurl is at the detective; but as
iaok mir mnned it a his eye restad on
the service revolver steaaniy levelled at
"Trapped!" he ejaculated savagely,
glaring at the onicer. "And in this
tom-fool fashion, too. But there's
treachery here," he added fiercely, "and
"Michael, Michael," interposed a wo
man's voice, in pleading tones, "you're
forgetting poor little Jess. You know
the doctor said she must be kept per
"Ah, Jess, poor mite," said coiner.
"No wonder I forgot everything when
Bond himself jumped up before me
like mazic! Well. I'm fairly-nabbec;
but if it wasn't for her," he added, with
a bitter emphasis, pointing to a bed in
a corner of the room, "you'd never
take me in this squeamish fashion."
Agreeably disappointed in the expec
tation that the desperate criminal be
fore him would offer resistance, but
never for a moment relaxing his vigil
ance, Bond glanced quit.... about the
The bed was occupied by a little girl
of about six years of age, who, it need
no second glance to perceive, was very
near to death indeed. She was wide
awake, staring in mute terror from the
detective to her father and back again.
Nor did the white face of the coiner's
wife, who stood trembling by the bed
side, express much less alarm than the
It was a scene which Arnold Bond
had not expected, but it explained
without woras how it was that his task
had been so easily accomplished.
"Let's clear out before you frighten
my young 'un to death," said the coiner,
in a o uieter voice. "Never mind, Jess,"
he went on, turning to the child and
speaking in such a tender and sooth
ing tone that Bond stared with aston.
ishnient. "Perhaps, soon, I shall come
back, and then you'll be better, and
Vaughan's voice faltered, and he
"Ah, take him away, sir, but don't
hurry him over what he very well knows
must be the last good-by he'll ever say
to this child! What hope there may
have been you'll take with you; but to
take it at this moment-".
The wretched mother, unable to
articulate another word, sank into a
chair, hid her face in her hands, and,
gave way to a sudden outburst of
"Is the gentleman going to -take you
away, then, daddy?" the child said,
feebly. "Oh, don't go! I do so want
you to-night." Then, looking at the
detective with great, earnest eyes, little
Jess continued, half-indignantly, half
pathetically: "How would your little
girl like you to be taken away if she:;
was ill, and wanted you to stop with
taer dreadfullyv had?"
An involuntary smile gathered for
one brief instant on the stern counte-,
nance of Bond.
"It's true, worse luck," whispered
the coiner, stepping near his captor.
"Poor little beggar, she's mighty bad,
and the doctor says the next few hours
mean life or death. More'n anything 1
she's got to be kept particular quiet, so
et's clear out and leave 'em; and,
please God, I'll see her again yet. Yes,
my prince of traps, you can see what
makes me such a miserable cowaid.
As if ashamed of the tremor in his
speech, the coiner turned, and taking
own his hat, crushed it upon his head,
mnd approached the door with a rigid
:ountenance and twitching lips. Ap
parently, he dared not trust himself to
ake even a farewell look at his child.
But as Arnold Bond moved toward the
leur also, his glance fell for an instant
upon 'the thin, white face of little Jess,
who had already fallen back exhausted.
She was gazing steadily at her father,
who, however, kept his face carefully
averted. The pitiful, pleading expres
sion in the sick child's eyes struck th3
:etective to the heart; for it was a look
which expressed mor e eloquently than
any words the bitter disappointment'
she felt at seeing one she evidently
:early loved about to be taken from.
er this night of all nights.
The detective paused abruptly, hesi
tated a moment, and then the resolute
expression on his features softened
suddenly, and he said, in a half-jocular !
tone, to hide the emotion he could not
"Stay, Vaughan, I can't do it, after
all. I can't take such a cruel advan
tage of even you at ~a time like this!
That's all, and good-night."
"Bond, Bond," cried the king of the*
coiners, springing forward as he recov -
ered from his momentry stupefaction,
"Heaven prosper you for this! Bad
as I am, I hope I'll be able to give you
your reward for this, if it's years to
A moment later the detective had
gone. He had sacrificed an oppoi tu
nity of adding enormously to his repu
* * * * * * *
It was a year later before the au
thorities succeeding in discovering the
"factory" where Vaughan and his con
federates turned out the cleverly made,
counterfeit coins which had, for so
long, been passed with apparent impu
nity in most quarters of the Metropo
Arnold Bond had never seen the
"King of the Coiners" since that night
when the mere look of a sick child had
been sufficient to make him turn from
the stern path of duty-an advantag e
which the coiner, naturally, had been
quick to avail himself of.
The very perfection of the false coins
told that Vaughan had not forsaken
his dangerous calling; and the manner,
too, in which they were passed showed
more and more that the police had no
>rdinary criminals to deal with.
But, after infinite trouble, Bond had)
found out all that he had long been
wanting to know; and this night, or
,the in the arly morning hours, he
I had surrounded with hs men the de
tached suburban villa of such irre
proachable appearance; and had him
self succeeded in getting into t-he house
with a skill that would have made a
practiced burglar look on with envious
The clever detective was very desir
ous, if possible, of capturing the whole
gang of coiners at one raid, and tqat.
-too, before they could do away with
the slightest trace of their occupation.
A laudable endeavor, but it was a wish
ni hich was to bring him near to death
than he had ever been before.
Bond seemed to have the house to
himself. Down in the basement, how- e
ever, he could hear a clinking noke I
now and then, and at frequent intervals t
the sound of men's voices floated up .
to his ears, accompanied by muffled n
Having satisfied himself, as far at
he dared, on several important points, t
he finally began to creep with all care
along the passage to ward the front door
which he could se-e was exceptionally b
well bolted and barred.
He had got within a few feet of th6 )
door, and was already thinking how
neatly he had managed everything, i
when suddenly, and without the slight. u
est warning, the whole floor seemed to 1
vave in beneath his feet; andas the trap )
he had unconsciously sprung turned k
completely over and threw him into a n
large, well-lighted cellar below. Before s1
he could rise, some seven or eight men I
had seized him and, amidst a storm of 't
oaths and threats, bound him hand and v
foot, despite his strenuous struggles.
"You fools!" cried Bond,exasperated 2
beyond measure. "Let me tell you the F
game is up! My men surround the x
place, and this little joke will only
make matters a good deal worse for
you. You'd better-"
"Jokel" repeated one of the ceiners,
with a fierce laugh. "Well, we'll see.
What say you, boys? What says our
"Death to the trap who bowls us
out!" answered a burly, villainous
looking fellow. "Surrounded we may
be. but wbat of that? Haven't we
means for getting away through the
burrow at the first alarm?"
"Aye; but if we stand chucking
precious minutes away in empty talk,"
interrupted another of the gang.
"Quick, pals! Here's an end to our -
snug little business, and so.let's make
an end of this intefering sneak before
we cut. The traps outside may smell
a rat if he doesn't soon give 'em the
Without another word one of -thte
coiners stepped up to the prostrate of
ficer, and with.a savage exclamation
lipped the ioose of a rope over Bond's
iead, and drew it uncomfortably tight
perate crew a$ once threw the other ;t
and of the rope over one of the beams h
hich supported the flooring above.
The detective now recognized to the s
full extent the really serious nature of
is position; and half dazed by the ca
amity which had so suddenly befallen te
AM, was giving up all hope, when, for ia
,he first time, the leader of the gang- a,
aone other than Michael Vaughan him' h
"Leave him to me, lads, and get yoi
ill gone while you may. Ah, there's:t
aot a jiffy to lose. Hark! Hear the >j
~raps! They're breaking in already. .ea
3)f with you all!" :6
"Let the dogs bark!" hissed one of at
he ruffians, with a curse. "We don't .1
o until we've choked the life out of vi
:he rat who's put 'em on our trail. Run I
aim up sharp, and leave him for a ir
pleasant surprise to his friends!" :
With these words the unfortunate ir.
fiicer was jerked off his feet, but at to
the same moment Vaughan snatched te
ap a formidable knife, and at a single >U
stroke severed the rope above his head. -I
Yet another stroke or two, and before Iia
the astonished gang of desperadoes h<
yould recover themselves, the detective n<
bad regained his liberty. .01o
"I'm with you, Mr. Bond," ejaculated th
Vaughan, with grim determination hb
stamped upon his white face. "Aha!
see how my mutinous crew shrink back 01o
rom your bulldog! And by all that's j21
ucky for us both, here come your men. j ;
Another minute's delay, and I reckon ni
it would have gone a bit hard for us
Almost before he had finished speak
ng the long, cellar-like room became :
for a short space a scene of desperate T
struggling, the walls echoing a chorus1 ,
of savage cries and shouts. 1i
Of all the members of the gang, theii
eader alone offered no resistance, but j
apsed into moody silence.
Only when the opportunity offered I
rid he whisper in the detective's ,
"You see, I haven't forgot ten what
once promised, sir, although you only
had a smasher's word for it. Perhaps
you didn't know it, but I reckon you
bad the life of my little Jess in your
hands that night a year ago; and maybe,
you'll agree now that I've paid a fair
price for it. As for me-but, there,
we're on even terms once more."- 's
Yankee Blade. J2i
'Ba's Reached the Limit.
"Don't you find that the drinking .
habit grows on you?" asked the curious
investigator. "Law, no," cheerfully
answered Mr. Lushforth; "l reached
the limit long ago."-Indianapolis
"This military life is pretty hard,"o
said the Chinese warrior, "but from all se
I hear I guess I can thank my lucky Le
stars that I'm not an American footbal] :u
A Woman's Bargain.
"Yes," said Mrs. Shopper, "I bought to
this dress at the bargain counter, but I :
am not sure that it was not the shop-. I
kreena, who made the bargain.''"
i CITY OF INTEREST.
2UESEO, ITS HISTORY AND AS
arce the Bulwark of French Power,
It Passed After Memorable Sieges
Under English Domination-Some of
The City To-day.
There are few cities in North Amer
-a the history of which is more inter
sting than that of Quebec, and per
aps none which are provided by na
aire with such a fine and spacious bar
1or. Originally intended and still
miintained as a fortress, it has played
n important part in the military an
als of North America. For more
ian a century it was the bulwark of
'rench power on the continent, and
ien it passed into English hands to
ecome the Gibraltar of Great Brit
in's ascendancy. It has stood many
icmorable sieges, and against its walls
ave broken the tides of French, Eng
sh, Indian and American invasion.
efore it, in 1759, the victorious Wolfe
nd the defeated Montcalam fell, and
efore it, too, the brave Montgomery,
!ading his scanty band of Americans,
'as instantly killed. The scars of war
:ill remain, but the flourishing city of
ie St. Lawrence Is unmindful of them
its busy and extensive commercial
ad industrial life.
Quebec was founded in 1G08 by Sam
1 de Champlain, the celebrated
rench geographer and navigator, and
ho gave to the beautiful sheet of wa
FALLS OF MONTMORENCY.
e-Lake Champlain-the name it still
ars. The early history of the settle
nt is the struggle waged for exis
ace, in a new and unsettled land,
ainst the inroads of the savage Iro
ols, the Indian allies of the English
ates, and the hereditary enemies of
e Algonquins, the friends and allies _
the French. In those long and dis- s:
trous wars England and France e:
changed many cruel blows, the scars
>m which may never be wholly k
aled. In 1029 Quebec fell into the c:
nds of the English, but three years
:er it was restored to the French by h
a treaty of St. Germain-en-Laye, to- al
ther with the ill-fated Acadian Pe- b
aisula and Cape Breton. In 1690 it .%
>od a memorable siege by Sir William ti
tips, royal Governor of Massachu- p:
ts. [Phips was one of a family of it
children and in 1684, whIle in Eng
2d, was enabled to fit out an expedi
nl in quest of a Spanish plate vessel,
ilch was wrecked oft' the Bahamas.
succeeded in obtaining the treas-t
e in 1687 and on his delivery of it- T
000,000 worth--to the English treas
y he was knighted and made Gover- "
r of Massachusetts. Soon afterward a
captured Port Royal, N. S., and em
idened by success attacked Quebec.
was defeated, however, and after -
splaying himself, with Cotton Ma- e
er. in the witchcraft trials was sum-t
med to England, where he died in a
j5. Again in 1711 Quebec had an
nost providential deliverance from
a fleet of Sir Horenden Walker, an
glish admiral. He set sail from Bos- ~
awith a powerful force to capture g
ebec and bring the providence into d
bjection to England. But eight P
nsports, containing nearly 1,000 i~
mn, were wrecked and lost on Egg d
NUE ERECTED TO woLFE ANSD c
and in the lower St. Lawrence, and ti
ebec contInued under the rule of If:
'ance. In 1795 the colony of Quebec, 1d
serted by France and left to strug- It<
against all the powers of England,
ceumbed to the inevitable and the 1
me day that saw Wolfe die in the
ms of victory on the Plains of Abra
m also saw his adlversary in arms,
ntcalm, receive his fatal wound. u
ue following day the gallant French,
neral died, rejoicing that he should
t live to see the surrender of Que- a
c. Again in 1775 Quebec was men
ed by the Americans. After the cap
re of Fort Chambly, St. Johns and
ntreal by the Americans the forces
Gen. Montgomery and Arnold united
d marched on Quebec. Too weak tv
attempt a siege they deettled on a ot
up de main, but a battery discharge it
itan+l killed Montgomery and his m
SUPPOSE WE SMLE.
HUMEROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
- THE COMIC PAPERS.
'esant Incidents Occurring the World
Over-Sayings That Are Cheerrul to the
Did or Young-Funny Selections Thas
Everybody Will Enjoy Beading.
True to His Name.
Lipper-There's something I a
name, after all. Chipper-What has
reconverted you to that belief? Lip
per-Why, meeting that new Chinese
laundryman you recommended to my
patronage. Clipper-Chin-Chin? Lip
per-Yes; he turns out to be consider.
able of a wag.-Richmond Dispatch.
A Smart Boy.
"Why, Jimmiemy darling boy, you've
ot the medal for good behavior this
ffeek!" said the fond mother, noting
the little silver medal on her son's vest.
"Yessum," said Jimmie. "Tommy
Roberts won it but I told Eim I'dknock
the. head off him if he didn't give it to
A Health Indicator.
Xrs. Nexdoor-How is old Mr.
Moneybags this morning? Mrs Sharp
eye--I haven't heard but I noticed that
Dr. Bigfee looked very gloomy when
he left the Moneybags residence a little
while ago. Mrs. Nexdoor-Ah, then
the dear old gentleman is getting well.
-New York Weekly.
. One Way Out.
George-Women are still pushing
their way into all the industries. Jack
-That's so. I have just been dis
charged to make way for a woman.
George-You have? Well! Well!
What are you going to do now? Jack
-I am trying to marry the woman.
iew York Weekly.
Clerk-Lady in front caught steal.
Ing goods. What shall we do? Head
of the Firm-How is she dressed?
"Furs and diamonds." "Beg her par
don and ask if we shalfsend the bill to
4er house."-Dubuque Times."
Looks Are Everything.
Miss Jumpatit-How much is it?
Telegraph Clerk-Twenty-five cents,
please. Miss Jumpatit-For that one
word "yes?" Telegraph Clerk-Same
price for ten or less. You can repeat
the word "yes" if you wish. Miss
Jumpatit-Um-no. . That wouldn't
Sure to Have a Good Time.
"Have you received an invitation I
"Yes; really. You know the bachelors
only had an invitation apiece to send
out and I've received one from each."
They Got Up.
McManus-Good mornin', sor. Can
me an' Clinchy go up on yure roof-an'
see th' Orangemin's precission go by?
Slattery-Phy don't yez go' th' place
phere yez buys yure drinks? McManus
-Sure yure chimney has double bricku
in it, sor.-Life.
Something Wrong somewhere,
Little Dick-Things is very queer in
this world. Little Dot-How is they?
Little Dick-By the time women gets
old enough to beral nice, good-natured
snammas, they isn't mammas any more,
there is only grandmas.-Dubuque
Kate-I don't think men are so bad
as some womcn would hare them.
Ruth-I don't know about that. Some
women would have them a good deal
worse than they are.-Detroit Free
Better for Ein.
"I always like to see pa and ma
dressed up in their best clothes," said
Jacky. -"They let me do as I please
then, 'cause they can't spank me 'thout
mussin' theirselves up."-Harpez's Ba.
Eight in Style.
Jagwell-I hear-that they are going
;o wear overcoats longer this winter.
Wigwag--I'm going to wear mine a
winter longer, whatever the fashiozn
may be-Phiadelphia Record.
A Bare Discovery.
Mrs. Bay-I never knew what a love
of a husband I have till I married him.
Mrs.Ray-How did you .find it out
then? Mrs..Bay-The e- A told me.
He-Did you get my letter? She
Oh, yes. He-It wasto askyouto be my
wife. She-Just so. He-Why didn't
you send me an' answer? She-You
didn't inclose a stamp for reply.
L'Avenir de Morlair.
Friend-That villain in your new
play is a masterpiece. Dramatist
I imagined a man possessed of all the
varieties of wickedness which my wife
ascribes to me when she gets mad.
Miss Dasher-Ah, my lord,you must
stay here long enough to take in all the
beauties of the country, .you know.
Lord Baggem-Bless me! What do.
you think I am-a Mormon?-New
Thinkitt-Who is that man who is
praising New York so extravagantly?
A New Yorker, I sr'nse? Knowitt
-Oh, nol-it's an E .sh actor whose
season begins here next week.-Ei',
fusion. queDec WAS savd-t-dM F!!iM
Although Quebec has ceased to be
garrison town its strategic positio
ItONTOALM'S EEADQUARTERS, BEAUFOR
of interest to the traveler. Perhap
the Montmorency Falls, in the Mont
morency River, which falls into the Si
Lawrence, eight miles below Quebec
s the greatest natural attractioi
iround Quebec. Near. its mouth thi
river takes a perpendicular fall of 25
leet, with a width of 50 feet, and formi
)me of the most beautiful cateracts Il
:he world. A cone of ice is forme(
?very winter below the falls and some
imes attains a height of 200 feet.
Quebec is yearly adding to the di
rersity of her industries, but her chiel
)usiness from the beginning of th4
entury has been ship-building. Ai
nany as 20 or 30 vessels, of from 50(
o 2,000 tons burden, are built during
MAKING HIM USEFUL
'he Indoor Cyclist Ie No Longer SLt
ply an Ornament.
An ancient proverb very wisely re*
rmmends us to combine the useful
rith the agreeable. The Invention of
adoor training machines for cyclists
ermits of putting this proposition in
ractice in the happiest manner. For
ome timj the question has been put
rhether ln-door bicycle training can
e made of benefit to anybody? This
; evidently what was asked by the au.
lior of the device shown in our engrav
ig, and who, with much intelligence,
nd very appositely, has discovered
practical process of preventing a
ery appreciable source of energy from
In his system, the driving wheel, in
tend of revolving idly, is connected
y an endless cord with the flywheel
f a sewing machine or any other
CTTING THE BICYCLE TO PBACTICAL UsE.
nall apparatus that requires a mod
ate force to set it in motion.
Owing to this arrangement, each
[ck of the pedal is utilized, and the
relist experiences the sweet satisfac
on of knowing that, while training
mself in view of a coming race, he is
so doing something useful. As may
seen, nothing could be better. But
ho would ever have expected to see
te bicycle thus converted into an ap
iratus of domestic and practical util
y ?-Scientific American.
A w )njerful snake has been added
the collection of the London Zoo.
his is the ophiophagus elaps, which
r Joseph Fayrer denominates as
yrobably the largest and most formid
le venomous snake known," grow
g, as it does, to a length of twelve or
surteen feet or more. The technical
ime ophiophagus means "snake-ent
-;" and there seems to be no doubt
at the snake eats other ophidians,
though it also devours birds, fish,
-ogs and other small quadrupeds.
It is found in India, Burmah and the
hillippines, in Java, Borneo and Su
atra, and is more common in Ben
1, Burmah, Assam and Southern In
La than in the northwest and central
rt of the Indian region. The snake
a near relation of the famous cobra
t capello, and, like the latter, posses
s a hood, which, however, is nar
>wer than in the cobra. Most snakes
at out of a man's way and will avoid
tther than court an attack; but the
1ake-eater is said to be an aggressive
>hidian, and not only attacks of its
wn free will, but will even pursua 'in
a Merry Nation.
Austrians seem d~termined to main
in their reputation for being the
ost merry ,and pleasure-loving na
on in Europe, for their parliament
is ust rejected, with a considerabele
iow of indignation, a bill making
-unkenness penal. The opponents of
ie measure found no difficulty in
mvincing the house that the estab
shed habits of the people were such
at it was impossible to punish this
iling, and that the feasts and family
cinking bouts, which have been cus
imary among the population for over
000 years, cannot be abolished by
Most or Us Marry.
The United States is the land of the
ated par exc:lelce. Out of every
)0 persons of mfarriagen~ble age 424
ars and upward) in this country
ity-five are married, nine widowed
ad twenty-six single,
Blow the Fuss started.
Banks-By the way, Rivers, how do
su spell "dilemna?" Rivers-With
ro m's. Why? Banks-Nothing,
ily I use four or five letters as well.
vers, if you throw that inkstand at
e I'll knock you down with this pa