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TRI-WEEKLY EDITION. WINNSBORO, St C., APRIL 2 1895. ESTABISHED 1849.
Connecticut has a horse that eats pie.
This Is somewhat remarkable, although
It has long been known that an inti
mate relation existed between pies and
From the length of time which thi
Sultan's commission is demanding for
tne investigation of the Armenian
butcheries the commission must be ex
periencing considerable difficulties in
deciding the indemnity the Armeniani
ought to pay for being butchered.
The Elbe disaster has found its way
into the German relchstag, where the
government representatives in debate
warmly defended the steamship com
pany while the Socialists bitterly at
tacked it, saying that the discipline on
the ship was bad and the water-tight
confpartments anything but w-ater
tight Most unreasonable fellows, those
Socialists. They don't seem to under
stand that the primary purpose of a
steamship company is to make money
and they really cling to the idea that
such a corporation owes some duty to
the people who travel in its iron coffins..
While the pungent paragraphers ar
.nveighing against the ten-acre theater
hat, they should aim a few shafts of
sarcasm at the t).irsty members of the
male persuasion who slide out between
acts to "see a man," and return with a
breath that causes those sitting near
them to imagine that the opera house
has suddenly been metamorphosed into
a distillery or a gin fizz factory. There
is also the sweet scented masher who
.is always nudging any attractive your.
lady who happens to occupy the next
scat There are just as disagreeable
things in theaters as the overgrown hat
Bravo, Baudelon! So long as there
are ships and machinery, cylinders,
cranks, piston rods, shafts or rudders
will give out at some time; and if this
time happens to coincide with the oc
eurrence of a hurricane, then are gath
ered to;ether the conditions of a great
calamity. Out of the night, the storm,
the awful sea, the crippled ship, have
come all those chronicles of calamity
that freeze the blood in the old ship
wreck stories. in such a case the one
hope is a hero. All depends upon a
man. If the right man is there ail will
go well, though the way be through
gloom, danger and doubt If the right
mnau is not there, if one of the feeble
brethren is in his place, that is the end
of the story of that ship. The man
must be one of stout heart and cool
head; undismayed by danger and un
shaken by the se o
res , 'introuble and m
ays to meet it. For such a man
great critical occasions are after all
only opportunities. Baudelon was the
man for the occasion in the Gascogne's
great battle, and so we say, Well done,
Baudelon' Lucky fellow to have such
a chance; lucky company to have such
an officer, and lucky passengers to be
in the hands of a- captain who knew
what to do and how to do it.
A PRIZE WiNNER.
Benton Bride, Great Britain's Cham
Here is the heifer that won the cham
pion plate at the London cattle show.
.The English ideal in the way of a roast
beef producer is to breed cattle that
shall be as nearly as possible composed
entirely of meat -with a minimum
quantity of bone. The champion heifer
Is described as being of the Aberdeen
Angus breed. Her name-is Benton
TUm CHIAMPION HElFER.
Bri.ae, and she was bred by Clement
Stephenson, of Sandyford villa, New
castle-on-Tyne. The heifer has won,
besides the champion plate at the Lon
don cattle show, the special challenge
cup conferred by Queen Victoria, the
president's prize at the Birmingham
fat stock show, and the Thorley and
Elkington cups, as well as many other
A Fakir's Ingenuity.
Enormous business has been done
Jately at Freuch fairs by a man who
professed to sell a rat powder thatt was
perfectly harnaless and that struck rats
dead on the spot. In order to convine
the skeptical the mran. first of' all, pow
dered a slice of bread with the stuff,
and ate a piece of it himself. Then b~e
put the remainder under a glass case,
in which a rat was kept in captivity.
The rat went to eat the bread and in
atantly fell dead. At 5 pence a box tihe
powder went ofI like hot rolls, and tihe
lucky proprietor of the specific was in
-a fair way to make a fortune. But the
police, who in France are very active mn
protecting the peop~le from a fraud,
* looked Into the matter and found that
the powder was nothing but ordinary
* sugar. They also discov ered that the
case was connected with a powerful
electric battery, and the moment the
rat touched the bread the current was
turned on, and it was thus his death
was brought about. The man was ar
rested at the fair of Albi, and he has
bee'n sentonced to lifteen days' impris.
Some Valuable Real Estate.
(Gorner lots on Fleet street, PiccadIlly,
and other desirable business locations
In London are worth $100.000 a front
S 'M GROWING OLD.
My days pass pleasantly away;
My nights are blessed with sweete,
I feel no symptoms of decay;
I have no cause to mourn or weep;
My foes are impotent and shy,
My friends are neither false nor cold,
And yet, of late, I often sigh
I'm growing old!
My growing talk of olden times.
My growing thirst for early news.
My growing apathy to rhymes,
My growing love of easy shoes,
My growing hate of crowds and noise,
My growing fear of taking cold,
AU whisper in the plainest voice
I'm growing old!
I'm growing fcnder of my staff;
I'm growing dimmer in the eyes;
I'm growing fainter in my laugh;
I'm growing deeper in my sighs;
I'm growing careless in my dress;
I'm growing frugal of my gold;
I'm growing wise; I'm growing-yes
I'm growing old!
I see It in my changing tastes;
I see it in my changing hair:
I see it in my growing waist;
I see it in my growing heir;
& thousand signs proclaim the truth
As plain as truth was ever told,
That, even in my vaunted youth,
I'm growing old!
Ah, me! my very laurels breathe
The tale in my reluctant ears,
And every boon the hours bequeath
But makes me debtor to the years!
E'en flattery's honeyed words declart
The secret she would fain withhold,
And tells me in "How young you arel*
I'm growing old!
Thinks for the years! whose rapid fligi
My somber muse too sadly sings;
Thanks for the gleams of golden light
That tint the darkness of their wings'
The light- that beams from out the sky-,
Those heavenly mansions to unfold
W here all are blest and none may sigh
"I'm growing old!"
--John G. Saxe.
THE JUDGE'S DECISIO!
HEN you reall
think you're I
love, eh?" s a I
He had a quef
brown face, thi
old man, all plov
ed with a networ
-of wridkles, an
little black eye
with a scanty a
that looked at yo
t the sort of a man to con.
tide a love tale to, nor to sympathiz
with the. tender outpourings; and ho-e
Judge Pelham ever came to be th(
father of a glorious girl like Kate, witi
the beauty of Hebe, was a riddle thal
we leave to those learned in physiology
"Yes, sir," said Hugh Kearney, brave
ly. "I am in love with her, and if I am
so fortunate as to gain your permis
,ion to pay her my addresses-"
"Stop!" sa.d the old gentleman. "Noi
so fast. One thing at a time, young sir
What have you got?"
"A strong arm, sir, and a brave heart,
together wvith, I hope, at least, an aver
age amount of braius."
"Very good stock in trade," answer
ed the Judge, still regarding Mr. -Kear
ney with the little hard glistening
bead of eyes. "Aha, Mr. Carleton, is
that you? Walk In and sit down. I'll
M'~ disengaged presently."
"Then you will give my case a fa
vorable c'rnsideration, Judge," said
Hiugh, rising to depart.
"I will, sir."
And Hugh went out--a tall, hand
some fellow, with pleasant dark eyes
and a firm, squarely cut chin, whici
betokens~ no ordinary amount of reso
'ution and wil.
Kent Carleton sat in the office, un
easily glancing over the large russet.
bound volumes, when the Judge de
lberately turned himself round in his
He. too, was handsome, with
straight, effeminate features, blue
eyes and wavy hair.
"I have called, sir, on very impor
tant business," began Kent, hesitat,
"Eh! What may It be?" deliberate
ly questioned the Judge. Kent would
have given all he was worth if the
brown old man wo 'd have p)ut on a
pair of spectacles. Those beady eyed
tonfused and bewildered him.
"It's about your daughter, Kate,
sir," said Carlcton. "I love her, and if
von have no objections-"
I"Ah," said the Judge, "exactly so.
Of course you have means to support
"As to means, sir, I am yet only be
ginning the world; but I have expecta
tions, and, added to that, I am about
to commence the practice of the pro
fession in whichi you have reached so
rilliant a position!"
He bowed. The Judge was stil)
'ransfixing him with the beady eyes.
"You may go. I'll let you know my
Carleton's footsteps had hardly died
away upon the threshold, when the
Judge opened a door to the left of hinr
Miss Pelham came in-tall, bloom.
Ing, is, with eyes of soft liquid blue,
damask cheeks and hair of real poet's
gold. How strange she looked among
the dry old law-books and balze-cov
ered desks, and the packets of legal
papers splashed with scarlet seals like
magnified drops of blood.
"Well, papa ?"
"Do you want to get married, pet?"
"Well, papa, I hardly know whether
I do or not!" she answered reflect
"Beausne I're nmj two yong me
here asking permission to pay their
addresses to yo.."
"Two young men, papal Who were
-Both eligible, as far as outward
circumstances go; not rich, but sens
Ible, and enterprising I've reason to
think; and for my part I don't believf
in too much ready-made money."
"But you have not told me yet wht
"Hugh Kearney and Kent Carleton,"
answered the Judge. "Which do yor
lke better of the two?"
"Why, papa, I like them both. Hugh
Is a good, solid fellow, and Kent has ss
"But you can't marry 'em both!"
"Papa," laughed Kate, coming close
up so that her surls fairly overflowed
the brown face with the beady black
eyes, "you choose for me. I really
haven't any actual preference- in the
matter. I could like either of them;
and, after all, it isn't like selecting a
lover, because I can make up my mind
"So you want the old dad to select for
you, do you? Well, well, I'll think it
over and let you know."
The Judge put on his hat and went
out for a walk in the summer twilight
to clear his brain of the co)rvebs in
inced by his day's work.
"Hallo!" he cried, as he nearly stum
bled over a meditative old Irishman,
who was standing stariig about him
with a ragged old waterproof coat
hanging on his arm. "What do you
mean by, obstructing the highway in
that sort of fashion, Hannegan?"
"Faith, it's I that axes your honor's
pardon kindly, but sorra a bit I knows
where I'm goin'. rerhaps your honoy
could tell me."
"How the mischief do you suppose I
can tell you, if you don't know your
self, you Irish blunderhead?"
"They're lawyers like your honor,"
went on the persistent Hannegan; "and
.since Biddy Rourke-that's me sister,
your honor, that washes for all t94
quality-hurt her ankle bone, she saysk
isays she-'Terry,' says she, she says
get the money they're owin' me, it's I
that'll thank you kindly,' says she, 'and
I'll do as much for you,' says she, 'for
it's Mr. Carleton and Mr. Kearney--' "
"Oh!" ejaculated the Judge; "Care.
ton. and Kearney, eh? Yes. I know
where they live, and I'll go along with
you and show you, if you'll lend me
your overcoat and just change hair
"Sure, your honor, it's too ragged
like for the likes o' you!"
"That's my business," said the Judge
alertly transforming himself into an
thepbattered hat and rus
ovprgarmeni , nl
"Now, lo6k here, if you call me any.
thing but Larry Reirdon I'll send you
to the lockup for twenty days."
Terrence started and grinned:
"All right, yer-"
"Stop!" roared the Judge.
"I mane Larry! And is this the door,
sir? I would be after saying, Mister
"This is the door, Terry."
And without knocking the Judgt,
pushed Terry into the hotel reading
room, where he stood with his head
drawn in between his shoulders and'
nearly covered by the Irishman's too
Ilarge hat, while Hannegan boldly con
'ronted the young men.
Carleton was writing a letter, Kear.
ney sat tipped back on his chair looking
over the paper, and one or two others
were lounging about, grumbling at the
dismal monotony of the village in
which they found themselves beca'ned
"'Money!" ejaculated Carleto~n, irrita
bly, as the Irishman made known his
errand. "What money? It's but a lit
tie while since I settled that bill; there
mnust be a mere trifle owing now!"
"It's nive dollars, sir-ive dollars and
siventy cents; and Biddy, she's laid up
wid a broken ankle and five little ones,!
sir; an' if you'd plase to let me have
Ithe money, I've Biddy's receipt, sir-"I
"Hang your receipts, man-I've no
mnoney to spare! Don't bother mel"
"For shame, Carleton!" spoke up
Hugh Kearney. "Pay what you owe
the woman. Would you let her and her
little one' starve?"
"tdon't hurt that class of people
to starve," heartlessly answered Carle
ton. "As for the little ones, the less
we have among us to pay taxes for, the
better! It isn't convenient for me to
settle the account to-day - that',
IAnd he turned away and bent ovet
his writing again, a little uneasy be
neath the withering look of scorn dart
ed at him from Hugh Kearney's eyes.
"Come here, my man," said the lat
ter, addressing Terry Hannegan, who
stood scratching his head in sore per-|
plexity. "How much do I owo Mrs.
Rtourke? I ought to hAve attended to
it sooner; but I waited, as usual, for
her to send in her bill."
"It's only two dollars and a half, sir,
for yer honor," answered Terrence,
1"Well, here's a five-dollar bill Biddy
can work it out when her ankle gets
better. And if she's really in want or
suffering, tell her to send to me and
'l come and see her."
I"Sure, your honor, and I'll do that
same; and it's hopin' the blissid saints .
may make your honor's bed in heaven,
and wishin' there was many like you;
and Biddy '11 be the thankful woman,
that she will, &nd--"
But at this stage Terry Hannegan's
companion, who had stood by the door
motionless all this while, shouldered
him out, still uttering thanks and
'>lessings as he went.I
"Here," said the Judge, as the)
stepped out once more on the pave
ment, "take your overcoat, Terry, and
let's change hats again; for I begin to
'eel radical and revolutionary already."
I"Feel how, your honor?"
co your sister from me, and be 4boU
So the Judge dismissed his raggei
Companion and returned to the dining
room, back of the law office, wher
1jate sat by a shaded lamp."'
"Well, papa," said Kate, laughingli
"have you decided yet?"
"Yes, I have 'decided.-"
"Which is it to br.?"
"Carleton is a heertiess scoundrel
and will treat the woman who is hi
wife as no woman would wish or de
serve to be treated."
"Papa, how do you know?"
"No matter how I know. I've a wa
if finding out things for myself, child.
"And Mr. Kearney?'
"If you can get him, take him. H
Is a fine fellow-"
And the Judge sat down to write tw
brief notes, one of which Carleton rea
the next morning with contracted broi
ind savage eyes.
"What does the pedantic old foC
mean?" he muttered. "What can h
possibly have heard about me whic:
convinces him that I am not the perso:
to render his daughter's life a happ:
But that was exactly what Mr. CarlE
,on never learned.
And Kate, .the Judge's golden-hairei
daughter, Was married six month
from that day to Hugh Kearney.
cew York News.
Only Accident Revealed the Substitu
tion of Horse Meat for Beef.
For some time past says the Chicagv
Times, John Murrato and a partnei
whose name cannot be learned hav4
been selling prime cuts of beef to th4
people living about 12th and Clintor
streets at prices 1ehlch have defle
competition. The juiciest sirloins, the
fattest rib roasts, the .most desirabl<
fiets were to be had of Murrato 5, 1(
and 15 cents a pound cheaper than th(
grasping rival butchers would accep1
for their Inferior wares. The genera
Impression among the Italian colonj
was that buying Murrato's beef wav
being in some-way acobssory after th
fact to a felony, and the only thin,
they doubted was what particular kinc
of a rime it was that they were en
couraging. They never would havi
found out If Murrato had kept his real
paid up, but when his landlord brok4
into his barn Monday and found a de
funct horse hung up foltdisseCtion then
was considerable taliand some nau
ca among Mr. Murrate's customeri
about Jefferson and Clinton and 12ti
and 18th streets. In.i ft, very unkinm
- 'e said, kiib;the canker-oI
ucion '" ~ ~
sausage and many chuck steaks even
yet. Mr. Murato's business is practi
cally ruined, and the fact illustrates the
power of the human fancy oier the
human appetite. To relish horse one
must be the victum of illusion; one must
be credulous and trusting; one must
have that faith which in a case of this
sort is better than works. But let a
blow be struck at the public confidence,
let it appear that a person is clan
destinely introducing into the systems
f his neighbors queer, weird, uncanny
knds of flesh not crusted over with the
pproval of precedent, and that butcher
ight just as well move to Pekin.
And yet the distaste for horse and to.
ther unusual, or at least allegedly un
sual, meats is mere prejudice. It is
oe's Imagination that revolts, not one's
epsin. Given a man with a strong
ind, he ought to be able to hold fast
nything that he can interiorly accumu
late. Not mne man in a hundred can.
he almost inevitable failure is at thie
same time a valuable demonstration
f the superiority of mind over matter.
t is the victory of pure Intellect over
the hydro-carbons. It is the triumph
f the soul over the oesophagus. Where
gnorance is bliss it is folly to hold a
ost-mortem over yesterday's dinner.
Just a little sunshine,
And a. little ground hog, too,
And then we have the question:
"Is it cold enough for you?"
-Chicago Inter Ocean.
A designing man I hate!" cried Nell
With scornful head erect.
And yet within.. year she loved
Andt wed an architect!
-New Orleans Times-D2mocrat.
If a woman actually marries her
her ideal, he is apt to outgrow It.
A glimpse of Ruskin's whimsicality
is to be found in a friend's reminin
Iscences. "One morning," he notes, "as
we were coming out of chapel, he said
o us, 'I ought not to have come to
hapel this morning.' We asked him,
In some astonishment, why. 'I am go
rg to write a critique on --'s picture
n the Academy,' he replied, 'and I want
o be in a pecfectly diabolical temn
The Batteries H. Charged.
"Say," shouted the G. A. R. man
what right have you got to be talkin'
about chargin' batteries at Vicksburgl
You know you were too young; was 1'
the truth T'
"Aw, old man, who said anythinu
bout the war?" replied a youth. "I
m an electrician."-Cincinnati Trib
Conversation Over the Fence.
First lady (threateningly)-Did yor
call me a two-faced thing, did you?
Seond lady (unabashed)-Yes, I did;
and, wot's more, I don't know which o:'
'em's the ugliest.-Tid-Bits
songe of Wild Birds.
The song of wild birds is usually a
succession of three or four notes con
tnud during the same interval. most,
OLYMHES MADE OF WOOD.
Ine of Things Which tY e Future W1
Probably Bring Forth.
Time was when references to
'wooden overcoaV were understo4
1 as the irreverent equivalent of mea
uring a man for a coifu, but it wou
teem that suits of clothes made
wood may soon be an accomplishi
The writer Is Indebted to a merchai
of the city of cleth-Leeds-for
glimpse of samples of a species
cloth, and also of a sort of cotton, ma<
wholly out of wood fiber, these tv
woven pieces having all the appes
ance of attractive articles of their o,%
kind. Both these novel textile fabri<
are the result of prolonged expei
ments with pinewood and spruc
which have been Ingeniously torn ,
pieces in the first instance and the
bleached by an elaborate chemic
After chemical treatment in max
ways the wood becomes a soft, whi
pulp, which is run through perforat(
plates, the resulting threads beir
dried by a steaming process. Thei
threads can be woven, and the mater
a is susceptible of taking readily ar
sort of dye. -The fabric can be mai
at an astonishingly cheap cost; It lool
well, and has a certain amount <
streigth (experiments in this conne
tion are now being carried out), an
its appearance on the market, soon
or later, is absolutely certain, especia
ly in the form of imitation cotton.
A Desperate Resort.
"I am going to get married," said
foung mnan the other morning.
haven't a cent, but I know a girl wk
Is fool enough to have me, and I as
almost persuaded to try the exper
ment. I never did make a success
anything that I went at, and I am
desperate and determined fellow.
have had several positions, none
which was worth having, and now
am alone in the cold world. The reaso
I am going to try the marrying exper
ment," continued the young felloy
"is because I really know of one cau
where it psoved a blessing to a youn
man who was in as bad a predicamer
as myself. The fellow was workin
for the enormous Salary of $5 per wee
and spending two and three times th.
much on his credit He became di
couraged and In a fit of despondene
ran off with a girl and was marrie<
Almost simultaneously with the we(
ding the young man was informed th
his services at the place where he wo
working coid be - dispensed -witi
Something had to be done. From a rec;
determined and to some exten
perate man. He opened his eyes foi
the first time and began to look abou
him for a posiion, and soon had a goo(
ne. His salary was raised almos
every month, and he now holds one o
the most important positions in one o
the larges houses on Main street. Ho
bas a charming wife, who encouraget
him )by her love, and there is no hap
pier man in the city. But," continue
the thoroughly demoralized youth, "]
cannot get married, for I have not th4
money to buy the license, and I have n'
eredit at all."--Louisville Post.
The Original Chinese.
Before the discovery of iron, and
tory of what is now China, Corea, and
Iapan was occupied by a brown race
either Maylayan or Malay-negroid I,
character. This Is pointed out by tra
dation, by ' ethnology, anthropology
and archaeology. The brown peopli
bore the same relation to Eastern Asia
as did the Iberians and Lapps to pre
historic E~urope. ,While of a low grad4
lintellectually, they had mastered nearia
all the primitive arts. They had do
Imesticated the buffalo, dog, cat, mon
key, and the barnyard fowls. It maa
be questioned If they had tamed thi
horse or cow. They lived in huts, tillei
the soil, and understood pottery. As
a race they were split up into innumer
able clans and tribes. They were per
petually warring among themselves
using as arms weapons made fron
wood and stone. They worshipet
retiches and devils, practiced polygam3
and polandry, offered human sacrifices
to their idols, and were altogether pret
ty respectable savages.-Overlan4
Better than Nothing.
It is well to have more than one string
to your bow. So thinks Tommy Smith
ers, as repored by the Indianapola
He was being catechised for his good
by a well-meaning visitor.
"Well, Tommy," she said, "do ycot
think you will ever be President of thi
"I dunno," answered Tommy. "Meb
be I'll try for It after I git too old to b4
What He Thought of Him.
"Do you think Skinner can make
living out there?"
"Make a living? Why, he'd make
living on a rock in the middle of thi
ocean-it there was another man on thb
rock."-Dallas (Texas) Visitor.
One on the Miller.
IThe man at the little mountain gris
mill waiting for his turn became ima
patient, and growled at the miller.
"Now, did you ever," said the miller
"see anything soindostrio'usasthisml
1s? It no sooner gets one grain crushe<
'ban it hops on to another one."
"Pshaw," retorted the man, "I couli
qat it faster than your mill grinds it..'
"You could, could you?" snapped tha
niler. "Well, how long could you?"
"Oh, till I starved to death, I reckon,
replied the customer and wentongrowi
lng...netroit Free Press. --
SUPPOSE WE S311ML.
8 HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.
1flemat Incidents Occurrfng the Worles
' Over-fyings That Arm Cheerful to the
Old or Yountg-Funny Selections That
it Everybody Win Enjoy .eadIng.
>f At the Theater.
to "That," exclaimed the exceedingly
c tall man, who could see the stage, "Is
r- capable of two constructions."
n The indvidual of medium height
's who could see nothing bat millinery,
I- readily assented.
e, "A great deal of it," he remarked,
to with gloom, "seems to have been made
n over once or twice already."-Detroit
Crushed by the Cook.
Mrs. Houser (to applicant for a plac;
-Can you cook?
Bridget-I always let the fire do that,
Supplying a Great Need.
6 "Old Soak actually shed tears when
a e found he couldn't get a drop of
"Why didn't he drink his tears?"
He Was Particular.
."No," said Mrs. Sparrowgrass to
Weary Wiggles, "I can't give you any
imeat or'any pie, because I haven't any;
but I can give you a drink of milk, if
that will do."
"Is it sterilized, mum?" asked the
tramp, anxiously.-New York World.
He-Your hat wasn't on straight at
the theater last night.
a She-How do you know?
He-I sat behind"you and I saw one,
half of the play.-Clothier and Fur
[. A Domestic Episode.
"Never mind," said the emancipated
e woman, "I'll be In Congress making
g laws yet, while you will be a mere no
g "I hope you will," replied the meek
k sufferer. "I hope you will go to Con
.t gress. That's one place where you
- will have a little trouble in getting the
F 'ast word."-Exchange.
First flea-I don't know how I am go
Ing to make a living.
Second tea-Have you tried It on a
thinking of becoming an ao
"No. In the last play I witnessed
there was a girl who put her hat on
straight without the aid of a mirror.
I am sure I could never learn to do
that in a thousand years."-Indianap
Where the Tronble Began.
I Cholly Lighthead-Bah Jove! Miss
[ Emerson, I believe I could make you
love me if I had a mind to.
Miss Emerson-Ne doubt you are
right .It Is intellect which I adore
above all things. I have always de
plored the absence of It on your ro"
The First Table.
Johnny Smart-What did you have
f'or dinner yesterday?
Willie Bright-Had the preacher an')
had to wait-Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Honest Waiter's Tip.
-Young tourist-What shall we try?
Honest waiter (in a whisper)-Tr'y
She Feared Gossip.
"No, my dear," said Mrs. Parvey Ne's
to her caller, "I shall not serve wafery
Iat my teas this season."
"I couldn't think of it. If I servet.
anything smaller than biscuit ill-na
tured people would be certain to say
Mr. New had felt the hard times.-Ex
. e Knew.
Timid New-Yorker-I'm a bit partica
The Value of Literature.
Parrott-How is Rhymer getting or
-with his poetry?
Wiggins-Oh, nicely. A few miore
editorial refusals wil quite knock al
the conceit out of him!-Exchange.
Not Her Due.
She-Mr. Jinklets paid me a comph
He-He didn't owe it to you.
She-How? What do you mean?
He-He never pays anything he owet,
--Detroit Freo Press.
Bilkins-There's a lot of differenes
Bilkine-Well, yesterday I offered mi
seat in a street car to one and she de
elined it with thanks, and to-day I of
fered itfto another apd she accepted-if
without thanks.-Detroit Free Press.
Round Numbers the Only Kind.
LHer father-What Is yourincome. si',
-Her lover- -1 can only give it to you ws
Her lover-No other numbers will ex
Wer father-Oh!-Detroit Tribune
"I am afraid you have told a deliberate
"No, mamma. I can assure you that
I have not I told it in a hurry."-E.x,
INDIAN FIGHTING COURAGE.
Terrors in White Settlements WWD
Run Away from Hostile Redskin
"It takes a special kind of cour
to fight Indian," said Major Bagsdale
at the "LIttleGem" inTopeka. "Theyre
pretty sure to surprise you, and they'r
slippery as quicksilver and as hard to
catch. Their yelling and whooping
alone are enough to stampede men not
trained to their style of fighting. Some
times they fight under cover and you
catch a fire from an enemy you can't
get a sight of, and again, they seem aM
to spring out of the grongd 'at once
and charge you as though nothing
could stand their onset Then there'i
the knowledge that if they catch you
alive you'll be skinned alive, or burned,
or your life tortured out of you by
slow degrees in a thousand o.tber -=ay
they can think of to make yotr suffer.
There's many a stout-hearted desper-.
ado, a terror in white settlements and
not afraid to have a pistol or shotgun
scrap any hour of the day or night
with a man of his own color, who
doesn't count for a row of pins in an
"Take Sam Brown of Nevada for a
case in point. He wasn't afraid of any
man that wore boots, and he was the
terror of the mining camps everywhere
he went. The Piute Indians got bad
one time and a party was organized
in the camps to go out against them.
Sam joined the volunteers, and every
body in the party and all that stopped
behind were talking about the big
deeds Sam Brown would do, and chuc
kling to think of the way those red
skins would'be wiped out when the3
,un up against him.
"Well, when they came upon the In
dians things didn't turn out quite as
they had expected. It was the whites
that got licked out In short order, and
those that weren't left on the ground
stampeded for safety. Sam Brown
was one of the first ones to run, and
the pace he set his horse at to get away
from those redskins was something
that beat quarter racing In the way of
reckless riding. As they stampeded
down a canyon, every man trying to
be foremost to get away, Sam hailed
Joe McMurtrie, who was riding a bet
'er horse than his:
"'Oh, Mact Pull your horse a Ift
tle so I can come up. We'lide safer
*ogether.' - -
"McMurtrie's answer to that
invitation was to bend down to
horse's neck, set in the spursan
out of that canyon ahead of
back to So4e as fast as h
carry him. He knew Sam T
that if that 1rthy once
him off his horse so as to get a bett
mount for himself. After they all got
back to the settlement he didn't go
round to places where he was likely
to meet Sam, lest It might stir hIm up
to unpleasant recollections bf their In
ian campaign-people were that con<
iderate of .others' feelings in those
days when the other happened to br
Taking mankind at larg,. erhaus
we should find them accounting for the
henomena of nature quite as much
from their feelings as from .reason.
inds of the moat practical bent are
ften the most servile slaves to prejn
ice. The attitude of the Moamma
tan mind toward modern scientific in
uiry is shown ,by a little colloquy be.
tween an Algerian Kabyle and an En.
lish artist who reports' the conversk
On one occasion a group of Kabylee
as standing around, -when I abruptly
Lft ofi' working, and began gathering
my painting traps together, "for," said
,"I see the wind Is blowing the cloudi
n this direction; it will rain." - .
"The wind does not push the clouds,"
aid one; "you cannot see them moving
Ln different directions at the- sam
"But surely," said I, "you can .pep
~eve any day that It is the wind that
"Does the wind move the sun?' sale
"N'o, of course It doesn't."
"God said to the sun, 'Move alwa
In one direction,* and to the clouds H#
~aid, 'Move about as you please.'
"Is not that-so?' said he, appealing.
Esa Reverence Couldn't Fool Tinm.
In one of ~our suburbs a few Sundays
go the priest of one of the churches
rnnounced that a collectin would be
aken up to defray the .cost of coal for
eating the church. Everybody chipped
L but Tim--well, never mind his other
ame-who gave a sly wink as the plate
as presented to him, but nothing else.
he priest noticed Tim's deeicm
ut surmised that he might have left
is money at home. Not quite enough
money having been realized, a similar
~ontrbution was levied the followinig
unday. As before, everyone gave but
im, who looked mighty s 'and the
riest wondered thereat . naeting Tim
fter the service he took him to task
or his conduct. "Now, Tim, why didn't
ou give something, if only a penny?"
Faith, father, I'm on to yez." "Tim!"
Yes, father." "What do you mean?"
Oh, nothing, father. Just that I'm on
tz yez; that's all." "Tim, your word,
re disrespectful and require an exple,.
ation. What do you mean?" "Oh,'
alth, father, a-thryin' to pull the w'eoeF
~ver mi eyes. A-thryin' to make us be
leve yes wants the money to buy coal
10 heat the church, an' yer riverence
~nows it's beated by steam."-Bostoi
Police of~cers say that when a man
~ngages In one shooting, and gets the
et of It, ha is very apt to engage is