Newspaper Page Text
-~ t---'*,<A- ~'~<
TM WEEKLY EDITIOY WINNSBORO. S.C. M Y 1.1900. ESTABLISHED 1344.
Oh, that my eyes might closed be
To what becomes me not to see!
That deafness might possess.my ear
To what concerns me not to hear!
That truth my tongue might always tie
From ever speaking foolishly!
That no vain thought might ever rest
Or be conceived within my breast!
Wash, Lord, and purity my heart.
And make it elsan in every part;
And when 'tis clean, Lord, keep it so,
For that is more than I can do.
SThe New iloctor.
HAT is the new
inquired one of a
group of girls of
t h e druggist's
"H o p kin s,"
was the reply.
"Is he m a r -
t . ' ried?" asked an
"I believe not."
"That settles it," said the third
girl, Helen Clark. "The advent of a
handsome young doctor in a little
town like this is an event not to be
overlo'ed. Henceforth I am an
"Kate, let you and me become
nurses," suggested Nettie Sanborn.
"Helen, I'.l ds,4u to go home,
nke believe sick, -"- .tp your head
and send for the doctor. It will be
rare fun," ventured Kate Upton.
"There isn't a soul at the house, so
the coast is clear. I'll do it, if you'll
go with me."
"Agreed," responded both girls;
"we had no intention of being left
They were too intent on their fun
to notice the roguish twinkle in the
boy's eyes, and he did not consider it
necessary to inform them that the
gentleman under coa4deration was
sitting in the draggist's private office,
hearing every word.
The doctor was wondering whether
he ought to be angry or entW . - the
spirit of the joke.
-"I'll go," be decided as the messen
ger summoned him to Judge Clark's
Helen was- on the sofa among a pile
of pillows and made a charming in
valid in spite of the wet bandage on
her forehead. Her two friends were
full of -sympathy.
"Such a fearful headache, doctor; I
am almost wild; can't you do some
thing for it?" and the blue eyes turned
to him leadingly.
1done," was the yor
man's m- ment.
He gra 13 fe rjse, too.. her
temperature and looked at her .U~uE
"Your pulse is regular; your tem
perature is normal," he observed,
"Helen, dear, didn't you say you
had palpitation of the heart this morn
ing, just dreadfully?" inquired Kate.
This was too much for Nettie; with
a smothered laugh she turned to the
* Helen did not answer, but sank bacl
on the pillows, closing her eyes.
The doctor leaned forward and.
placed his ear over her heart. Thb
b llood rushed to her face; she felt like
a culprit and was tempted to confess
and beg his pardon. But that would
never do. He would despise her to:
such a bold trick.
The physician looked thoughtful for
"What will he saiy? Oh, I wish he
would go," sighed Helen to herself.
"I understand your case, Mis:
Clark," he explained; "it is nothing
serious-you will outgrow these at
tacks. I will leave a remedy which
will relieve your headache in a few
He opened his case and began pre
paring some powders in a very pro
fessional way, but slyly watching the
girls alli tl W e.
"Th3&e, as he finished the last
powder, "tare these every half hour
they arc harmless. You are suffering
from au acute attack of what the
French call 'mechancete.'" and he
bowed himself out.
"'Mechancete,' quick, girls. get the
Frenchidictionary and see what this
terrible malady is that I may outgrow
Do you suppose he is stupid enougl
to think I am very ill?''
"I believe he saw thr'ough it.
ne':er felt so mean in all my life," de
clared Nettie, as she ran her forefingel
into the "Mech" column. "Here i
is. Oh, girls," and her race was scar
lei, "just rend that!"
"Give it to me,'' cried Helen,
" 'Mechancete,' roguish trick, naught
iness," she read.
"Hie will probably tell this," said
Nettie, "and before night this esca
pade will be all over the town."
"I'll never speak to him again." ex
claimed Helen. "Mechancete, indeed:
lie's as mean as he can be."
"I don't blame him one bit," pro
tested Kate. "It shows his spirit."
* The following day Helen met the
doctor on the street.
"I trust Miss Clark has recovered,'
he inquired, smilingly.
"Perfectly, sir," was the haught;
The winter,with its gayeties, passed
and everywhere Helen ignored him.
Once he tried to defend himself, bu
she would not listen.
"If you were a gentleman you would
not refer to the huiiating circum
stances," was her reply, "and I wil
never forgive you."
"Helen, I think you treat Dr. Hop
kins shamefully," said Nettie. "I
S used to think he was in love with you
his eyes followed you about and hat
such a pained look when you snubbec
"Nonsense! If he wants to mak<
as idiot of himself I am not to blame.
H1e won't bore you any more, mn
sweet friend," assured Kate, "for h<
ito take Madge Stone to the law:
party to-night. Aren't you ashamed
to leave him to the mercy of that
freckled little thing, after he saved
your life with his sugar powders?"
and Kate laughed merrily.
All the town was at the lawn party;
it was an annual affair given for the
benefit of the public library and so
ciety attended in its best. Helen was
n:t her usual merry self. She sat in
a leafy corner of the arbor away from
the crowd. Why did it annoy her
that Dr. Hopkins should bo attentive
to Madge? Why we unhappy?
She would not allow -heiself to think
of him. Had she not said again and
again that she hated him?
"Miss Helen," said a voice, which
she knew well and whose tones sent
the color to her cheeks, "you look
"I am not. I prefer solitude, some
times, at present, for instance."
He sat down beside her.
"Pardon me if I intrude; but I in
sist on knowing why you treat me so
rudely. You will not even be friends,
and-" his voice was low and ten
der, "and I have even dared hope to
be more. If you will only give me a
"Excuse me, doctor. I fear I shall
take cold in this carner," and she fled
into the house.
That night the people were roused
by cries of fire and shrill tones of
alarm; the fire service was inefficient,
and the citizens lent a helping hand.
No one was braver or more .helpful
than the young doctor; he feared no
risk and heeded no caution.
In his attempt to save a child from
the flames he was struck by the fall
ing timbers, and they carried his un.
conscious form to Judge Clark's home
"Is it Iote or Providence?" thought
Helen, as she offered to watch beside
him while her father summoned Dr.
"What if he dies?" she moaned.
The doctor opened~ his eyes slowly.
What made him so weak? Why this
pain in his arm? He could not move it.
Where was he? Was that Helen
Clark? He could hear the noise ol
the firemen outside, and it dawned
upon him that he must be hurt. Helen
was approaching the couch, He closed
his eyes, hardly daring to trust his
She knelt beside him. The blood
surged through his body and strength
returned to every muscle as he felt
her lip3 touch his and her hand upon
his brow. The closed eyes opened
and met hers.
"Oh, you are 'not dead; I was so
afraid you would' never open your
eyes and would never know-" and
she hid her face in her hands.
He tried to rise, but sank back witb
mo$'tJhadrie d. *o
arehurt. Ur.Godspeed will soon bi
He stretched out his injured arn
and drew her to him.
"Helen, i3 it possible you lovi
The touch of her lips upon his wa
the answer, but it meant more thai
"lIAnd you have been so cruel to mi
althese days. I thought you almos
"Forgive me; I loved you all thi
time, but was too proud to own it."
The task of forgiving was beauti
"Well, well, young man," said the
doctor, as hie bustled into the room
"this is a pretty state of affairs,
broken arm, half a dozen bruises ant
eyebrows singed off; a handsome fi;;
nrc you'll cut among the girls now~
We'll punish you by a few weeks o
had migt enjoy the punishment if
hda good nurse."
The old man did not lose the glane
he cast on Helen.
"Probably you would; I suspec
you've some heart trouble with all th
rest, you young rascal," and h
laughed knowingly.-Chicago News.
Wealth changes some men mor
A man s faults attract more atten
tion than his virtues.
Money talks, but one cannot alway
exchange talk for currency.
There is no place like home who
it comes to drawing a small salary.
Sometimes a man has his own wa
acecording to the diagram furnishe
by his wife.
A genius is a man who dloes thing
that other people say it is impossibl
to do.1 -
Many a man doesn't care what
tailor charges for clothes-just soh
A man's gallantry crops out whe
he is entertaining a woman who is nc
related to him.
The individual who climbs to famn
and fortune over the shouldersc
others must look down on thei
Don't overwork yourself. JTus
imagine how miserable you would b
if you finished alf your work to-da;
andl had nothing to do the t est of yon
A Baby Engineer.
The little three-year-old son of Eu
gineer W. B. Evans, of the Fort Johi
(Ore.) motor line, recently gave hi
father and every employe along th
entire line ei the road an excitin
time. He climbed into an engin
which was standing in the yard witi
-full steam on and opened the throttl
wide. His father, hearing the engin
moving off, started in pursuit.
Quickly ha telephoned to the sta
Itions ahead, but when Portsmouth
the next station, wvas reached, no on
dared to board the engine as it thun
dered past, until witl'in three hur
dred vards of tim end :>f the line th
steam gave out and a heavy grad
lackned the speed.
TALJES OF PLUCK TURF 1
The Hero of anoa.
EW people who may have
chanced to read the brief of
ficial announcement of Coin
mF n Ider Carlin's death on
board the City of Pekin between Ma
nila and Yokohama, December 30,
1899, remembered that hqk-.as brnt a
little dec.,_ ago the '_-, gur, and
hero of t c vy-the sub
ject for eulogyfrom people au. press.
Carlin played a gallaut part in the
terrible time of the great Sauoan wind
storm. On the morniug of March 16,
1899, ships of the English, German
and American navies were in the port
of Apia. The storm came swiftly, and
found them unprepared to imeet it in
the shallow waters of the bay. Every
energy was bent toward getting to the
opeu sea. The Englishman succeed
ed, and Englishmen and Americans
will remember always with a thrill
how the doomed Amcrican sailors
eleerpa the English vessel as she
stood ort to sea and safety while the,v
themasees remained to face and fight'
death.. That death came quickly to
many, and in all 141 German and
American officers and meu found their
end that day.
Carlin was executive oflicer of the
Vandalia, and practically in command
even before the death of Cap tain Scoon
maker. The lattor was an old man,
and so fleshy that he was unable to
handle himself with ease. He was
killed and washed overboard' in the
early part of the storm, but not before
his executive officer had made a gal
lant attempt to save him. The men
ha'3,>een ordered into the rigging as
the ,nly place of safety, and Carlin
was about to follow when.Isiw the
Captain lying on the forwai-a rp.--Mof
the deck, with his arms clasped about
a stanchion. Making his way to him
between the huge waves that were
pounding over the deck, Carlin clasped
his arm around the commanding of
'icer's -aist and told him that he in
tended'to help him into the riggiUg.
"Don't try to help me, Jim," said
Scoonmaker; "I'm as good as dead
now. You save yourself."
'While he lay on the deck by the
Captain's side, Carlin felt one of the
ropes that held a gun in place slip,
and to an old sailor this meant that in
a few minutes the gun would be loose
and pounding around the deck...1e
resolved to secure a rope an' a
aniner n r by in the ' '
X11~iTWifg",the la -
der. Twice as he made the rush, be
tween waves, for the rope, he was
forced to clasp a brass railing to pre
vent being washed overboard. On
the return trip he was again compelled
to hold to the rail for his life while
two waves of unusual height and vio
lence rushed down upon the deck,
and when he arose and looked for the
Captain both man and gun were gone.
Then he looked out for himself. BaclI
to the rigging he went, but every
place on the yard arm was occupie~
by the men, and in that time there
was no rank. Death stood at their
face and levelled rank. Carlin was
too brave to order men to give up
place of safety to him, but they in
sisted on pulling him up to them.
IThe ship seemed doomed. Mei
were being washed overboard at every
wave, and to make death more certait
the Vaudalia was drifting down upon
a coral reef. Then the Trenton, an
Ichored near' by, began to drag hei
anchor andl bear down upon the fated
shio. it seemed certain that the
Trenton would cut the Vandalia it
two before either struck tle coral
reef. Officers andl men bade one an
other farewell and stood there waiting
for death, but when it seemed mosl
certain a stronger gale than usua
struck the human sails in the rigging
of the Vandalia and shoved her sc
far ahead that the Trenton's prow
struck her stern, and slowly wvarped
around alongside. Instantly Lieu
tenant Carlin saw his opportr nity ani
the men's, and ordered them to rut
along the yard arms and jump upot
the deck of the Trenton. Every mar
reached the Trenton, and that shi1
steamed away to safety-having b2
that time got her engines into wodrk
ing order. For his part Carlin wa:
recommend.ed to Congress. -St. Lomui
Not Easily Frightened.
SIt takes more to wiin the badge o
Sbravery in some countries than i
others. The Ethiopian who is dleeme<
,worthy to wear in battle the lion'
skin thsat King Menelik of Abyssinii
gives to the bravest of his men muns
be0 oue who can go three days withou
food, fighting the while, or journeying
over the deserts and mountains; one
rmoreover, who cares nothing for pail
or death. In an article on "Meneli]
and his people," in the Windsor Mag
azine, Mr. Cleveland Moffat refers t<
a custom that prevails among thes<
men after a battle or after warliki
It is their habit on such occasions
to squat on the ground in a long lini
and fire their rifles into the air, bar.
rels up, buitts between the knees
There are no blank cartridges, bu
halls that wound or kill whomnsoeve:
they strike in the descent.
A cannon-shot gives the signal, ant
forthwith the firing starts far dowi
the line, rolling nearer and nearer til
it swells into a roar of musketry abou
th'e emperor himself, then dies awa:
at the farther side; and the bullet:
come down on soldiers or citizens al
mybfor this firing is as likela
not to take place in a crowded city.
" 'Would it not be wiser, your maies
tv.' asked a French traveler, aghas
at this reckless proced:are, "to uis
"Why so?" asked Menelik.
"It would economize rifle-balls and
save life," was the answer.
"I do not mind losing a few balls,'
replied Menelik, "if it makes my peo
pie despise them."
The Italians found what these solb
diers think of rifle-balls, when they
saw them come bounding on in the
charge, pierced through and through
with Mauser bullets, and go on fight
ing. At Amba Alagni, the battle which
preceded the final Italian disaster,the
Italians found out what it means to
fight an army that knows no shoes,
but comes at you in your fortified
place with toes that can grip and clitig.
The Italians were on .a hill, rising
from a plateau, impregnab le, as they
supposed, on three sides, and guarded
on the fourfh by strong artillery.
Against these cannon they thought
the black men must hurl themselves,
ant that would be the end of them.
But they reckoned wi.hont those
black feet, for what the Abyssinians
really did was to take the hill from
the rear, straight up the precipice.
coming stealthily so as to give no
alarm; and when enough of them had
gained the vantage-ground behind,
they swept down like a wave upon the
Italians, and the day was won.
The Evil EY
Like all Orientals, the Sudanes1
lave a great horror of the "evil eye."
A fixed stare often makes them un
comfortable, and the gray or blue
eyes of Europeans, with the glint of
anger in them, strike fear, if not ter
ror, into the hearts of most. Charles
Neufeld, au Austrian, who was long
held prisoner by the dervishes of the
Sudan, describes the powerful effect
of this superstition. The event of
which he speaks took plaft soon after
he was captured.
A young dervish conducted me to a
spot removed from the other prison
ers. As we walked along, the youth
said: "God is just; God is bounteous;
please God, to-morrow our eyes shall
be gladdened by seeing t; white Kaffir
yoked with a shayba to a black one.K
This shayba is a forked limb of a
tree. The fork is placed on the neck,
pressing against the larynx, the stem
projecting before the wearer; the right
wrist is then tightly bound to the
stem with thongs of fresh hide, which
soon dry and "bite" the flesh. The
ends of the for'. are drawn as closely
as possible, and fastened with across
It is a cruel instrument of torture,
for the arm must be kept extended to
its utmost; to attempt to relieve the
tension means pressureon the larynx.
If you are yoked to another man, he
Lthrow& pressur on j . on
and felled him senseless.
rifle, I strode back to the
entered. My eyes must hay
blazing. I glared from on
other, wondering whether t
one shot and then start g"
till I was cut down. -
Hamza, the best ate dervishes,
held up his hand, saying: "Istanna"
I hurriedly related what had oc
curred and told what I intended to do.
Hamza then came to me, saying:
t"Li, lo, la (No, no, no), you are not
tobepu i ashayboa. Ororders
are t> deliver you alive and well."
Theni turninig to the others, lie con
tinued: "Hand this man over to me.
I shall deliver him alive and well."
Some demur was made when, lower
ing the rifle, I placedl the butt on the
round, rested my chin on the mauzzle,
and addressing myself to ali, saidi that
unless I was left in Hamza's charge, I
should press the trigger, on which my
great toe was then resting.
Hamiz again urged his point and
said: "-If you do not agree, and this
mani does any harm to himself, I de
clare myself innocent of all blame and
responsibility. I have heard of him;
he will do as lie says."
The effect of the words was magical.
"Take him away-keep him; do what
you wish t> him," they cried. "'Never
let him come near us again--never!
Never let him look upon ats with his
Chicago Girl's Rlomnce.
To be married on shipixoard and to
go on a wedding journey through ~
lonely African forest wvere the roman
tic experiences of Miss Anna Thome
McLoughlin, of Chicago, the bride of
Dr. Wilmer San ford Lehmain, of Africa.
For the last year Dr. Lehman has
been engagedin medical work at Lolo
dorf, West Africa, and' as it was im
possible for him to return to America
for his bride she joturneyed out alone
to meet him.
IWhen the steamship Niger, on which'
she was a passenger, reached Great
Balazo Dr. Lehman came out in a
small boat. Captain Davis. of the
Niger, steamed out beyond the three
Jmile limit to avoid the exacting Ger.
-man marriage laws, and the v edding
ceremony was p)erformed.
Dr. and Mrs. Lehman wveut ashore
Iandi began their ninety-mile journey
to Lolodorf, followed by thirty native
carriers bearing their luggage. Dr.
Lehman walked the entire dlistance
and Mrs. Lehman wvent for the most
part afoot, more than fifty miles, be
ing carried in a hammock when weary.
IThey are n.ow living in a native housE
of bark with a thatched rooi.
Miss McLaughlin is a graduate of
IAnn Arbor,where she met Dr. Lehman,
of the class of '9g. The doctor has
made a number of notable African ex
plorations, having at one time pene
trated the country of dwarfs.
A man. "apparently educatedl and
refined," has been fined $50 for mu
tilatig publications on iile in the
Chiz'go lpublic librairy. H~e pleaded
to be released, saying that he needed
the clippings in coi gstatistics.
CROBE OF THE GRIP.
)E pIARITIES OF THE LEGLESS
crons Deadhead and Stdwaway
i Leads a Vagabond Existence
It mised Land is the Respiratory
Or of Human Beings.
influenza, like most other
a microbe, and a microbe
for its ond proclivities. It is
sver on t arch, and any mode of
locomotio is wingless and legless
and requi be carried-serves its
turn, from -going liners to the
winds of h
According n American scientist
Turkey was eadquartcrs of the
nuisance last r. the
lines of the it
has since foun
bie localities, b
euza microbe ha
its wanderings is
gans of human be
vegetates, it exists
in these essential
ganic economy it flo
the first time thoro
especially if the grou
pared in advance b
chitis or consumption.
of the lungs is nece
healthy and normal deve
when deprived of this eli.
becomes torpid and even
up its tenacious ghost.
Indeed, the idiosyncraci
thing are all of them of such
as to induce it to regard o
as the most eligible reside
fer. For instance, a bath Q
four fours'duration is ordinry
however stagnant and invitin
average bacillus, is fatal to th
fluenza microbe, while, on the
hand, it will exist for weeks in
(ect bliss in human saliva.
It is not the microbe itself that
the harm, but -a poisonous liq
excretes. A measure of consolati
s afforded by the fact that this pois
s even more deleterious to the microb
than to the human being in which i
is deposited, for the microbes end by
being deFtroyed by their own horrible
exhalations, whereas their victim, of
course, has many chances of recovery.
The microbe is an egg-shaped thing,
but gifted, in spite of its roundness
and smoothness, with an extraordinary
capacity both for adhering to any con
ceivable surface and for passing from
one resting place to another.
Itgaoi is a human nose or mouth,
. E'6 '9r I.,eicinity of these
-o :is assured, for the
I nal invaler will,'in thsur
rounded by a progeny er sixteer
millions of his poisia producing kin
In short, the doctors know almos
everythinag about the influnenza microbi
except ani effective method of exter
Dr. Albert Prieur gives some do
tails in regard to the whims of influ
enza and the peculiarities of its mu
crobe. Here is what Dr. Pricui
"'Influenza,' that queer and ugly
word with which the grip clothed it
self in 1802, when it was raging ii
Italy, was first and, unfortunately
brought into the medical vocabular:
by Professor Huxham. It is trun
that he was never very proud of hi:
invention, and up to a comparative1;
recent date doctors and patients eon
tinued tc employ the good old word
'grip,' invented in the last century b;
Sauvages de Montpellier, doubtless ti
depict the peculiar expression o
countenance which belongs to thos,
who are unlucky enough to contrac
"Without going iuto the de
tails of a pathological chapte
on the subject it may be necessar
to call attention to the fact the
the word grippe or 'influenza'i
too often carelessly and erroneous1;
employed. Of course, for a docto
the grip, strictly speaking, is difficu]
to diagnose at its commencemeni
and it often happens that the medi
cat man cannot tell whether he is deal
ing with a catarrhal or hay fever, o
with a serious infection, like angina
smallpox or typhoid. But, neverthe
less, the grip has an appearance pe
culiar to itself, which, at a given ma
ment, outside of all bacteriological es
aminiation, att best, vague in the be
ginning, facilitates its diagnosis.
'lBut to attempt to describe th<
various and capricious symptoms o
the grip outsiide of medical literature
properly speaking, would be to at
~empt the impossible. Sometimesi
starts with a furious attack, and some
times it bzeg:ns with little indisposi
ions that :ast three or four days
With the gri.p all sorts of forms ar
possible. But there are three form
which are noteworthy: First, the ner
hous form, with its terrible hearl
aches, neuralgia, lumbago and altei
p atives of -ohysical and mental d<
~ression, followed by excitement the
ater reachesi delirium; secondly, th
respiratory form which localizes itsel
n one or several of the organs, th
nose, the pharyni, the larynx, th
trachea, the bronchical tubes and th
lungs (indeed, it may spread itsel
through them all); thirdly, the diges
tive form, sometimes accessory, bu
more frequent and more tenaziou
than people commonly believe it t
be, and reaching from simple gastri
trouble to the most intense gastrc-it
In 1899 the iron imports of German
,.incrase $8000,000 in value
SOUTH AMERICAN GIANTS.
a Hardy I.ee That is Gradually Becom.
Dr. Frederick A. Cook, c the Bel
gian Antar ctio Expedition, writes in
the Century of "The Giant Indians of
Tierra del Fuego," his text being il
lastrated with pictures drawn from
photographs by hiciRlf,
The Fuegians have beeti toported,
from time to time, since the ccuntry
was first sighted and named by Hagel
lan in 1520, but to-day they still re
main almost unknown. In connection
with the voyage of the Belgica we had
unusual opportunities for studying
their wild life and tbeir weither
beaten land. They are not, as i gen
erally supposed, one homogeneous
tribe, but three distinct races, with
different languages, different appear
ances, different habits and homes.
The Onas have thus far evaded til ef
forts at civilization, have refuse6 mis
eionaries, and bave, to the present
ime, with good reason, mistr asted
ite men. They have, in conse
nee, remained absolutely unknown.
e Onas, as a tribe, have never
nited in a common interes, nor
y ever been led by any one
f. They have always been
osmallclans undera leader f
-powers, and these chiefs
nstant warfare among
the present they have
nemies among their
w that sheep-farm- L,
want their coun- c
to fight their
en or eight
to b::. 7
to) six g
ecanse of a lack
aI love, but because of the
mental lethargy of the people. It is
the same as to shelter and garments.
They have abundant material to make
good tents and warm, stortr.-proof
houses; bat they simply buncl. up a
few branches, and throw to the wind
ward a few skins, and then shiver,
complaining of their miserable exist
-The dew of compassion is a tear.
Self-trust is the essence of heroism.
Silence is one great art of conversa
Contentment gives a crown where
fortune hath denied it.
Good company and good discourse
are the very sinews of virtue. -Wal
He who can conceal his joys is great
er than he who can hide his gr efs
Without constancy ther-e is r eith~er
love, friendship nor virtue i2 the
To endeavor to domineer o7v con
science is to invade the cital oi
The age of chivalry is never past so
long as there is a wrong left unre
dressed on earth.-Charles Kingsley.
The habit of looking on th. best
side of every event is worth more than
a thousand pounds a year .-Jol-usou.
rEvery one of us, whatever onr- specu
lative opinions, knows better than he
practices, and recognizes a better lawv
than he obeys.-Froude.
- A Wvasteful Case.
"Did you ever stop to consider,"
said awell-known detective, "how
the principle of economy is entirely
lost sight of in the prosecution of
trivial cases? For instance, bee the
other day a man was arrested for
for stealing five cents' worth of milk.
The complainant never stopped to
think how much it was going to cost
him, but I guess he would be willing
eto withdraw the charge now. Here he
has lost two days' pay on accotint of
the case, officers under pay have put
-in time that might be better em
ployed, and there will be sheriffs fees
to foot for the board of the prisoner
while he is in jail. And all for five
cents' worth of milk: There is very
flittle economy in law."-Detroi' Free
The Great 3lormnon Tabernac13.
fThe Tabernacle at Salt Lake City
-is, in respect to its acoustic proper
ties, the most remarkable place of
Iworship in the world. It is construct
ed to hold 25,000 people, yet it is pos
esibe for a person standing at one end
-to distinctly hear the sound of a pin
dropped into a hat at the other, a test
of its curious power to convey sound
jwhich is offered to every stranger who
s shown oer the building.
THE M I Y Wjj OFIjW
tTORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.'
Ks There Such a Man ?-is So
Immunity Comes High -.The
bativo Spirit-Utility Gone
Them-Wit and Humor, Etc.,
Breathes there a man with soul
Who has never to his good wife
"Oh, I'll not forget a single t
That you've requested me to
When I cofne home to-night."
Returns empty-handed home a
Uncle Bob-"Well, Johnny,
Fou at the head of your class?"
Johnny-"No, but I can lick the
ellow that is!"-Hartford Couraut.
Immunity Comes High.'.
"What makes that new magazine
ost so much'"
"I don't knowi maybe they have t
ay people not to write war
or it."-Indianapolis Journal.
Tie Combative Spirit.
Proper Little Boy (to New Boy)
'Is your papa well-to-do?"
New Boy (on the other side of the
ence)--"He's well enough to do your
ad, all right."-Chicago Tribune.
"h3adbolt, I don't like to be a tale
earer, but I heard Dingus -say the
ther day he had no use for you."
"Well, that's true. I've quit lend
2g him money."-Chicago Tribune.
Has Not Them.
Johnny-"What is a bore, papa?'
Papa-"A bore is a person who tells
on so much about himself that you
et no chance to tell him anything
b6ut yourself."-Baltimore Ameri
Wit and Humor.
"What's the difference between wit
"If a man says humorous things
out you, it makesyon laugh; it'
s witty things about y it
U't your little
neivous, Mrs. BimM?"
rs. Bimm--"NO; I think not."
Little Boy-"Yes, I am, ma; when
people who come here stay too long it
makes me wriggle around and kick
He-"I can trace my ancestry back
through nine generations."
She-"What else can you do?"
Then he blinked and looked at her
as if he wondered where he was and
how far he had dropped.-Chicago
"I wrote her that we would consider
the in cident closed."
"She wrote me that she didn't pro
pose to be dictated to in that way, so
I'm still getting letters from her."
Detroit Free Press.
"Henrietta," said Mr. Meekton,
anxiously, "how did I do?"
"What do you mean? I am the
one who made the speech."
"Yes; but I applauded. I wanted
to know if I cheered in the right
places. "-Washington Star.
Suits and Damages.
Tailor-"I brought you this suit six
months ago and you haven't paid me
Hardappe-"But it didn't suit; it
"Tailor-"I'm afraid I shall have
to bring another suit for damages."
"Shall we read the minutes of the
previous meeting?" asked the presi
dent ol the ladies' organizat.i.
"I object," said the member who i3
always making trouble.
"For what reason?"
"Because they were not minutes;
they were long, weary hours."
"Sometimes," said Meandering
Mike, "I wishes I had money."
"Sometimes!" echoed Plodding
"Yes. Someti"'aes, but not often.
Dere's millions of dollar bills issued
by de Government. What do we went
.w'it' anything so common?"-Washv
A Fitting Name.
"And what do you call that wheel
whizzing around there?" inquired a
visitor in the machinery department.
"S'outh American Republic, sir."
answered the guide.
"That's odd. What do you call it
"Uwiug to the number of its revolu
ios sir. "-Detroit Free Press.
"That is what I eg,1 a -master
strok!" he exclaimed.
"Oh, do read about it!" said his
."It's rather long. Look at it for
yourself. It's one of the cleverest
strokes of diplomacy--"
"Oh! diplomacy! I thought it was
something about golf."- -1 ashingtou'