Newspaper Page Text
? Gerninn professor who Is giveu to
groat deliberation of spouch nnd hns
never boeu known to Increase its spocd
under tho most compelling circum
stances had an amusing experience in
a restaurant not long ago.
The waiter had brought him raw oys
ters, and, to his dismay, he snw that
the professor bad apparently no Inten
tion of tasting them.
"I canuot eat these oysters," said the
German slowly, without raising his
eyes to the anxious waiter. The man
seized the plato and boro It out of
sight In an Instant. Ho was a new
rwnlter, and It was with much trepida
tion that he laid tho second supply of
oysters before this discriminating pa
"I cannot eat these oysters," said the
professor after one glance at the pluto
which had been Bet before him.
"I?I think you'd find them all right,
sir," faltered the waiter. ''I don't
think there's anything wrong about
them, sir." He looked miserable, hav>
Ing been told that the German was a
frequent and valued patron of tho res
taurnnt nnd must be well nnd quickly
"I cannot eat these oysters," an
nounced tho professor for the third
time, with the calmness of chorus in a
tragedy, "because as yet you have fur
nished me no fork."?Youth's Compan
The Public Taute.
Several kind Workers pooled their
Efforts to Insuro the Waifs a happy
Holiday. They rounded up the little
Hlckeys at a Mission and gave them a
l"*reo Show. Every Swipes In the
Place was a Monday Night Gallery
God, so the Church Talent was going
against a knowing Proposition.
A palo yoimg Man with amber Fire
Escapes sprang a line of Parlor Magic
that would have queered even a Sup
per Show. Tho Bunch advised him
to back off tho Dump. When a Yopng
Lady with Glasses tackled "Stabat
Mater" on the Violin they broke her
up with Cat Calls and told her to
toar off some Bag Time. They tileated
at the Amateur Elocutionist and acted
Bowdy when a Stout Woman got up
to read a Fairy Tale from Hans Chris
tian Andersen. Then they began to
yoll for Mulligan and Hicks to como
on and save tho Show. Whereupon
two pug faced Kids carao forward and
did a Hottentot Song and Dance with
a Buck and Wing finish that killed
Moral.?The Wolfs cannot bo expected
to lift themselves many Notches above
the Public Taste.?New York Herald.
A TeMtlmonlnl Worth Ilavlitfr.
v An Inventor, having produced a won
derful hair invigorating fluid, sent n
case of bottles to a bald editor, with a
request for a testimonial. Ho got it in
"A little applied to the inkstand has
given It a coat of bristles, making a
splendid penwiper nt a small cost. Wo
applied the lather to a twopenny nail,
and tho null Is now the handsomest
shaving brush you ever saw, with
beautiful, soft hair growing from the
end of It some five or six inches In
"Applied to doorsteps, It does away
,wlth tho use of a mat; applied to tho
floor, it will cause to grow therefrom
hair sufficient for a brusscls carpet. A
little weak lather sprinkled over a shed
makes It Impervious to the wind, rnln
or cold. It is good to put inside chil
dren's cradles, sprinkle on tho road
side or anywhere that luxurious grass
Is wanted for use or ornament. It pro
duces tho effect In ten minutes."?Col
African* Wanh, hut Never Wipe.
Great attention Is given in most of
tho African tribes to the care of the
body. The teeth aro cleansed with
a stick which has been chewed Into
a kind of brush. The hands are
washed frequently, not by turning and
twisting and rubbing them together
ono within the other, as with us, but
by a straight up and down rubbing,
such as Is given to the other limbs.
?This manner of washing is so charac
teristic that an African might bo dis
tinguished by it from a European with
out reference to the color. The sun Is
their only towel.
The Earlleiit Ciffara.
1 The earliest mention of cigars In
English occurs in a book dated 1735.
A traveler in Spanish America named
Oockburu, whoso narrative was pub
lished In that year, describes how ho
met throe friars at Nicaragua, who, he
says, "gave us some seegors to smoke;
? * * these are Loaves of Tobacco
rolled up In such Manner that thoy
servo both for a Pipe and Tobacco It
solf; ? * * they know no other way
hero, for there Is no such Thing as a
Tobacco Pipe throughout Now Spain."
i "Wo must economize," he said por
"I'm so gladl" his wife exclaimed.
"You toko tho announcement more
good naturedly than usual.
* "Yes; It's pleasant to hear you ObO
the plural pronoun. Ordinarily, when
there Is any economizing needed, you
expect me to do It all."
1 Tudor?Harris gets all bis clothes
ready made now.
Button?So he told you too?
' Tudor?He told mo nothing. He
didn't have to.?Boston Transcript
Should you wish a Sideboard we dan
please you at prloos that suits your
purse. rm^Z - ?
8. M. & E. II. Wilkos.
Great Opportunity for the Farmers of the
State to meet in Their interest.
The Spring meeting of the above So
ciety will be held iu tho Aui'itoiium on
tho Exposition grounds. Charleston, on
tlie ?th day of February uext, at 12
In consequence of this mcotiog, this
day lias been sot aside by tlio Exposition
authorities as "Farmers l>?y," aud the
general attendance of tho farmers of the
State is expected.
In addition to the interest attaching to
the meeting and tho Exposition, the
Good J toads Convention will conveno in
Charleston on tho '.id and continue
through he 7th, February next, and
those attending the meetings of the So
oicty can also take in the meetings of the
Good Roads Congress. This will DO
quite an interesting convention and one
well worth the attendance of all farmers.
All members arc urgently invited to
T- W. Hollow ay,
Tho World's Greatest Fever Medicine
? Johnson's Tonic does in a day what
slow Quinine cannot do in ton days.
Its splendid euros aro in striking- con
trast with the feeble cures made by
If you arc utterly wretched, take a
thorough course of Johnson's Tonic
and drivo out every trace of Malarial
poisoning. The wise insure their lives
and the wiser insure their health by
using Johnson's Chill and Fever Tonic.
1c costs .">0 cents if it eures; not one
cent if it does not.
Grat? Fenders at 98 cents. Fire place
Fenders at 95 cents, $1.00 and $1.10 at
S. M. & E. H. Wlikes.
- wm ???
Tho Auditor's Office will be open
from the 1st day of Januany to
the20th day of February, 1902, to
receive returns of Real Estate and
Personal proporty for taxation in
For the convenience of Taxpay
ers the Auditor will attend tho fol
lowing named places to receive re
turns lor said year to wit:
Young's Township, Cook's Store,
January 22d. from 10 a m to 2 p m.
Young's Township, Young's Store,
January 23d, from 10 a m to 2 p in.
Young's Township, Pleasant Mound
.January 21th, from 9 a in to 12 m.
Young's Township, Lanford Station,
January 24th, from 2 to 1 p m.
Sculllotown Township, Tylonwille
January 25th, from 10 a m to 2 p m.
It will save much lime to tax
payers, also greatly facilitate
tho work of the Assessor, if ov
ery poison before leaving homo
will make out a complete list of
every item of personal property
in tho following order : Horses,
cattle, mules, sheep and goats,
hoge, watches, organs aud pian
os, buggies, wagons and car
riages, dogs, merchandise, ma
chinery and engines, moneys,
notes'and accounts above indeb
tedness, and all other property,
It is always required that the
Auditor get the first given name
of the tax-payer in f?ll.
Under tho head of place ef
residence on tax return,give the
All male citizens between the
ages of twenty-one and sixty
years, on the let of January, ex
cept those who are incapable of
earning a support from boing
maimed, or from other causes,
are deemed taxable polls, Con
federate veterans excepted.
A^d all tax-payere arc required
to give number of their school
district. They are also request
ed to state whether tho property
is situated in town or in the
After the 20th day of February next
fifty per cent, penalty will be attached
for failures to make returns.
In ovcry community thero aro persons
who cannot read or that do not take a
newspaper. Thoso more fortuoato may
do suoh persons a great favor by tolling
them of tho tinio to make returns or by
returning for them.
Tho assessing and collecting taxes is
done in the samo year, and wo have to
aggregate tho number and value of all
horses, mules, oattlo and other pieces of
personal property as woll as tho aorcs of
land, lots and buildings and their valuo
that there aro in this county, and hnvo
the samo on file in tho Comptroller Gen
oral's office by tho 110th of Juno of each
year, and from that time to tho first day
of October the Auditor's and Treasurer's
duplicate havo to be completed and an ab
stract of the work in tho Comptroller
General's office by that time, which will
show at a glanco that tho Auditor hau no
tinio to take roturns, or anything clso
much, between tho 1st day of October,
but work on the hooks and tho blanks.
Wo hope, thoroforc, that all taxpayors
will mako their roturns in i i.
W. L, FERGUSON,
Dec. 5th, 1001.?tf.
j flsti?ir>a CiiTe Ft eeT 8
pi -o- n
2 A3thmaleno Bringo Irt3tant Relief and Permanent Cure in all Casesn
i -o-? ?
n Sent Absolutely Free on Receipt ok Postal. n
There Is nothing liko Asthmaluno. It bringsj]
instant relief, oven in tlio worst cases. It euresn
when all else faila. ?
The ltov. ?. P, W?lls, of Villa Itidgo, HJ.,n
says: "Your trial hottlo of Asthmnlnne recoived?j
in good condition. I cannot tell you how thank-n
ful I fool for tho good derived from lt. I was of)
slave chained, with putrid aorothroat and asthma'n
for ton year:?. I despairod of ever being cured ,g
I saw your advertisement for tho cure of thb?p
dreudful and tormenting disease, asthma, sndr
thought you had overspoken yourselves, but re-p
solved to give it atrial. To my aatonlshmont, ther;
trial acted liko a charm. Send;me|ti full size bothio.vr!
We want to send to every sufferer a trial treatment of Asthma-n
] lino, similar to tho one that cured Mr. Wells. We'll send it bypj
D mail Postpaid, Absolutely Pro/5 of Charge, to any suflferer whor.
3 will writo for It, even on a postal. Never mind, though you areg
? despairing, however bud your case, the moro glatt we are to send it.13
g Do not delay, write at once, addressing Ott. TAI?!' BROS.' MEDJ-g
D CIN 10 CO., 79 East 120th 8t., N. Y. City. Sold by all Druggists. B
u r.rr.r>r.r,r,r.r.r.rrir.r.rr nnna^nnnr -j-j-ji:ju'jaarr.r.rnr.rr.r>r.r.r.rr.nr.r<r,
CHAINED - .
rOH TEN v
Men Who Mean
What They Say
are rare. But poople believe U9
when we tell them that only the
best class of Merchandise is han
And once having tried us they are
ours. The best of everything in
Dry Goods, Notions,
Wraps, Underwear, Millinery,
Etc. And tho best of all Is, tho
prico ia right*. Wo guarantee sat
isfaction with every purchase or
your money back Try us. >
"JMms !? U IS.
Imposing an Annual Tux on all Tax
able Property In the City of Lau
ren* to Raise Supplies for said
City, for Fiscal Year, Com
mencing January 1st.,
Section I, be it ordatnf.d by
the City Council of Laurons, of the
City of Laurens, that a tax of Fifty
Cent? on every Ono Hundred Dollar?;
worth of the assessed valuo of all
property, Real or Personal, not exempt
by law from taxation, sltuatod with the
limits of the City of Laurons, "be, and
the samo is horeby lovled, for corpo
rate purpose, to defray the current ex
penses ot said City, for the Fiscal Year
commencing January 1st, 1902 , and to
meet such other Indebtedness, as has
been contracted by said City foo* corpo
rate purposes. That an additional tax
of Thirty Cents on ovory One H undrcd
Dollars worth of the. assessed value of
all property, real or personal, not ex
empt by law from taxation, situated
witnin the limits of jtho City of Lau
rons, bo, and the same is horeoy levied,
to meet the interest to become due
upon the Thirty Thousand Dollars
Bonds, Issued April 1st., 1K?V7, for the
purpo-o ol meeting the cost- ot budd
ing and equipping tho Water Works
and Electric Light Plants, for said City,
and to pay at lenst Ono-fortleth part
of tho cntlro bonded debt into a sink
ing fund, to bo used in aid of tho re
tirement and payment of said bonds.
SEO. II. That the Clerk of the said
City, shall onter said levios and assess
ments upon the books of said City and
receive said taxes. That the said taxes
herein lovled shall bo paid to the said
Clerk in lawful money of the United
States, on or before the 1st day of
March. 1902, nnd any person fuiling to
pay said taxes, shall bo liable to the
penalty now provided by law for th-e
failure to pay tho general Stato tax.
Done antf ratified by the City Com i
cll of Laurene, of the City of Lauren,a,
at the City of Laurens, and the Corf io
rate (L.S.) seal of said City alllxcd, t'.iis
the 1st day of January, in tho year ? of
our Lord Ono Thousand and Nine H un
dred and Two, and In tho Ono B un
drod and Twenty-six year of the sov
ereignty and Indopendonco of tho
United Stales of America.
C. B. gray,
Li g. B?LLE, Clerk of Council.
Itnbttn Ourtvl At ray Knn m?r
Inin, In SO ilnyx. Jlhni Irrd*
Ti.itr. I<? ikon
. A<!<lrri? .
v.. tA. U/OCI.L.EY. Mm o.. Atlanta. ,Cr.
Notice of Final Settlement
Take notice that on tho 15th day of
February, 11)02, I will render a linal ac
count of my acts and doings as Exoou
tor of tho estate of Bethany C. Hoi
combo, dee'd, In the ollico of Judge of
1'robato for Laurons county, 11 o'clock,
a. m., and on tho same date will apply
for a final discharge from my trust as
All persons having demands against
said ostato will please present them on
or beforo that day, proven and authen
ticated, or bo forovei* barred.
J. J. HOLCOMHK,
Jon. 15, l?J02.-lt
Somo special bargains In Iron Beds
to oiler. Como In and see for yourself.
S. M. & E. II. Wilkes.
Unaiio and Acid.
I oan supply Guano and Acid In any
quantity. The host grades that are
mado and cboap as tho cheapest. Call
and see? our gaods before purchasing
M038r8 Johnson <fc Godfrey havoGuano
and Acid stored with us, also. So you
soo you.can get any kind by calling on
J. Wade? Anderson at tho Merchants
and Farmers Bonded Warehouse.
Atlantic Coast Wne.
Faat Lino botwoen Charleston and
Columbia and Upper South
Carolina and North
In Effect Jan. 18th, 1901.
Goino Whut. Going East
No. 62.. No. 53.
tA. M. tP. M.
0 25 a m 1/7 Charleston Ar 8 30 p in
8 02 a in' Lanes ?13 pin
9 28am " ?uniter " 5 35pm
llOOnm Ar Columbia Lv 4 15pm
12 17pm " Pronperlty " 240 pin
12 30 p in " Nowberry " 2 31 p in
I 13 p in " Clinton '* 153 p in
1 35 p in " Laureiin " I 35 j> in
3 10 p in " Greenville " 12 01 p in
3 10pm " Hpartanburi; " 1145 am
7 13pm Winnsboro " 1018 am
0 20pm " Oharlotte.N.C. " 8 10 a in
<> 11 p in '* IlemlerBonvllle " 0 02am
7 15 p m ?* Asheville " 8 00 a m
Nob. 62 nml 53 Bolld trains botwoen Charles
ton and Oreenvillo via the Atlantic Ooas
Line, Columbia, Newberry A LnureiiH K
R. and CharleHton A Western CarolinA
H. M. EMERSON,
General 1'ansunger Agent.
J. R. EKKlY, T. Mi EMERSON,
Ge n'l Manager. Trattlc Manager
For the next 15 Days we
wili offer our entire line of One
Dollar, fine wide all-wool, Ve
netian and Broadeloths at S)Oe.
These goods are all this seasons
purchase and embrace the most
Those who are on the look
out for a nice Black Dress of la
test weave, fast dye and perfect
finish at a moderate cost, here
end your quest at
W. G. Wilson & Co.
at First Cost, with Freight.
Ofie If 0x7 Bebstead^
Oi?e Cottof) lylattfess
(Doublo Section?Bost Quality.)
OI^I* Set of Sprites.
These goods are nicer quality than we geno*
/ rally keep in stock. They wero ordered for a
special customer who didn't take them.
Hence there is a ?rare bargain in them.
i^aureus Cotton Mills Store.
T. C. LUCAS, Manager.
ii. e. (j hay
j, c shealy,
GRAY & SHEALY,
'& / . . DRESSED
m ?wk in both
DRESSED and UNDRESSED
tates for Lumber Buyers.
age quality at
''(^^ .;? ; v . ^ Farmer or Householder,
x| ', I at figures bolow regular.
of all kinds, grades and dimensions.
All reliable, well-seasoned stock.
Tell us your needs and we will quotejprices.
Mantels, Columns, Scroll Work a Specialty.
QUAY & SHEALY, Laurens, S. C.
THE OLD 1
KENNEDY BKOS. "K
tho Undertaking business at tho old stand. COFFINS, CASKETS
and ROBES, and HEARSE, at tho
, LOWEST PRICES.?^
A continuauco of the gonorou patronage hithorto extended us
olioitod. Roctfully KENNEDY BROS.,Laureas, S. C