Newspaper Page Text
The Laurens Advertiser $1.50 per Year in Advance. Out iu Iho Muskoka logging country a successful minister of the gospel must comply with a long hst of rc quiroments. He must not ouly pos sess more hook aud spiritual knowledge thai' his parisioners; he mubt know at least enough about farmiug and log ging and the tnnbark iuduslry to dis cuss tbeso matters intolligcutly. Abovo all, bo must appear to believe that be knows nothing at all. 1 '.'it when the Muskoka residents do tako a miuister to their hearts they are loath to lose sight of him; apt, also, to " take II out of" tbo man who suc ceeds him, lightly. Which was the leason why Archer Qallup'U, the young man who ussUJRed the spiiitual care of abo.it iwenty-cnjlit square miles of territory when 1'rovidenco and the Bis'op saw lit to reiiovo good o'd ** Father" Andrews to Toronto, won dered why the Muskoka country peo ple had been described to him as so hospitable and warm-hearted and kindly. Everything went against tho young minister from the beginning. Ho was just "out" from England to commence with?a delicate younger son 6ent out to Canada for the sako of the weak heart which boio testimony to tho falling health of bis mother's family; bo bad a positive manner, for a second disadvantage. For a third, the light trotter and lighter cart which ho In sisted upon purchasing, against tho unanimous advice of his scattered par ishioners, utterly failed to meet with the dire disaster predicted for its llrst encouuter with tho mud of the rainy seasons; fourthly?but the list is too long for recounting. The inevitable happened to the TOUng minister, of course. lie found the llrst winter so exhilarating that, following the usual courso of tho *? green Englishman," ho declined to protect himself sulllcicntly, and ac quired a severe chest trouble, two froz en ears and a frosted nose, which gleamed brilliantly all the next sum mer as a result of bis foolishness; ho I gloried in the llrst summer, shivered through tho lirst autumu, aud only nerved himuclf to face the second win ter by sheer courage and dreams of the second spring. lie fell in love with the belle of the Kipplcville center and was snubbed aud tormented and detested by all tho young men of that locality in consequence. He approach ed the 11 good-bye seasou," when all the hardy young fellows go off to "tho camps" for the wiuter, with a sad heart and a bitter sense of failure. He was not invited to attend a single 44good-byo party," and when he told some of the prospective campers that he should probably visit them before Christmas, siuce be regarded the Mclnuoss log ging camp, at least, as within bis spniiual boundaries, they laughed at him openly. 41 Ride forty miles to visit us 'shanty men,' " jerred Bill Hnrkncss, brother of the sweet girl whom the young minister longed after; " when 1 seo you I'll expect you, Mr. Gallupin,' an' not afore!" Still, the time came when the min ister proved his pluck aud prowess, and when, from a logging coup peg to hung jokes on he was transformed to a logging camp hero. The mauner of Ins apotheosis was as follows: It was the week before Christmas, and the young minister, making his Christmas visits to bis parisioncrs, had travered many miles of hard-packed snow in tho light cutter which had re placed tl ? debated cart. He drove up the 11 side road" to tho Ilarkncss farm just about noontime. He had promis ed himself to accept the inevitable dinner invitation and to get thoroughly warm. Uuiing the second winter the unfortunate "greenies" are usually 44 bone cold" perpetually, and Archer was proving no exception to the rule. Hut the young minister was not de stined to warm himself at the Hark ness Ore that day. The barnyard was deserted. The kitchen, jnto which bo presently let himself, after repealed knockings, w\s empty as well. From the 14 front room" opening out of it came a sound of sobs and troubled feminine voices. Stretched out on the big bed in the corner lay Ben Ilarkncss, tho young est son of tho household, white and unconscious from the force of tho wrongly felled tree which bad fallcu upon him at his work of 'Making out logs" from the family 44 bark log." He had dragged himself home, only lo faint on the threshold. His father was in Toronto for a day or two, the older boys up at tho Mclnness camp; Mrs. Harkness had crawled out of a sick bed at Nell's summons, and there, was only tho pretty object of the young minister's adoration to care for her mother and brother and to summon the doctor, somehow. ** I'll get tho doctor," said young Archer, naturally. Tbc grateful look which Nell gave made his heart beat joyously, but it didn't strengthen the tired horse, which was presently speeding back to ward Bracken, as it did tho tired driv er. Half way to tho village tho young minister was compelled to ask sheltor for his horse and go on without him. He covered most of his intervening four miles on tho run, and arrived at Bracken all but exhausted. Yet back he would go with the doctor. And, on the wholo, it was woll that he did. There was a lighting chance for Ben's rocovcry, so said the doctor, presently, but Ben didn't think so, upon recovering consciousness, and he wanted his father and brothers. The doctor would telegraph tho elder Hark ness from the next village, but the Mclnness camp lay sixty miles out of the courso ho must follow. 44 Thoro's a very sick woman I must see, right in tho opposito direction," ho told Mrs. Harkness. 441 came here first becauso she's probably got some other woman who can do almost as much as I can with her, and I never delay over calls like this. But I must got on to her without delay." ?4 I'll go for tho boys," spoke up the young minister. 44 It will be moon light afte* ton o'clock, and if the trail's deceut we'll have them here by dawn at the latest. A saddle horse will make the best time." And a saddle horse it had to be, any way, because the only Harkness team not up at the Mclnness camp for tho winter was in Bracken, waiting to brjng Mr. Ilnrkness home whon ho re turned from Toronto, and all the neighbors were in similar case?both for horses and men. So the young minister saddled the 44 coltic" while Nell made him a cup of strong" coffee; he swallowed it, cheered her and was off?just as tho clock struck four. Four and a half hours later the. camp trail beiug fair, and the highway lead ing to it hard packed and in good con dition, tho raon at tho Mclnuoss camp heard a sound of wild shouting. They turned out of their buuks, out mto tho night and tho fro/.on darknesB, to Und tho young minister drooping ovor his horse outside. *? Lift me down carefully, please, raon," ho said?aud thcro was a new riug to his voico which slit rod thoir blood strangely. 14 Tho horso fell with me, a while back, and I'm afraid my right leg's brokon. .1 had a lot of trouble getting back to the saddle again." Then ho fainted, and tho broken log was set and splinted in rough but ef fective cump fax'nou beforo ho came to. A circlo ot admiring faces sur rounded his improvised couch when his eyes opened, aud liig Eider, ihe camp talker, was pcrtoiming a sort of ecstatic war danco in the coruor. " 13roko his leg and got on again I Hid with tho broken leg hanging I Jim mikins, but bo's grit!" So chantud Rig Kl lor, ovor and over, until tho young minister sobered him with tho announcement ho had como to make. And then llig Kldor's groat, tendor arms around him, young Arch er was homo to tho rude sled which McIuucbs himself had made ready, aud driven, m fur-oneirclod luxury, back to the Ilarkncss farm. " He'll go homo with us," tho Darkness boys had decided, summarily, when somebody hinted that his own lodgings at Bracken wore no irer; "tho extra eight miles won't hurt him, see ing how far bo's got to go i.nyway, an' wo cau look after him better'n tho ho tel people." 44 He?he rid up here with a broken leg to toll us 'bout Ben," (hushed Bill Harkiies8, who had always despised tho young minister. 441 reekou wc owo him something for that." And they paid him, paid him in full and with splendid interest, long biforo Bon was about again, or beforo tho now logging camp hero had recovered from tho fover and weakness which followed that awful ride in tho bitter cold, and with but a cup of hot coffeo to stay tho day's hunger aud exhaus tion. For thoy, with every man in tho whole country-side, gavo him their fullest respect and admiration from that moment, and the Harkuess boys aud their father, to heap up the good measure of their bargain, cousento I to give him?Noll. Hl LL ARP ON THE MILLENNIUM. He Doch Not Think the Happy Time Ih Near at Hand.-Con verting the World is Slow Work. Atlanta Constitution. I believe tho millennium craze has subsided for awhile. Within my re collection it bobbed up three or four times and excited good people all over tho country, for good people wish it to come and live in hope and expectation. 1 remember when \Villiam Millor, of I Massachusetts, had all Now England excited, for ho was a very learned man and a sincere Christian and behoved i all that ho professed. For ten years ho exhorted tho people to bo ready for ' tbo coming of Christ in 184.1, and even lixed tho day when they would sec Him descending from heaven in mag I ntllcent glory and ceeoitcd by Moses , and Elijah and a retinue of angols. : Ho had over 00,000 devoted converts and the night liefere the promised day , tbey arrayed themselves in white ' ratmant aud sang aud shouted and , prayed until morning, and thcu climbed the high hills and the tree tops and tbo I spires of the churches to meet Him as , He ucared the earth. But He dident come and it uearly broke their hearts and they liked to have perished to death, lor they had given away all I their earthly possessions. Next came Dr. .lohn Cummings, a , very learned minister of London, who wrote a book on it aud lixed th 5 mil lennial year at 18(13. Wo were light ing over hero about that timo and tho millennium hrd to be postponed. The millennium means the reign of Christ upon the earth for a thousand years, when everybody will be good and there shall bo no more death nor pain nor sorrow, aud there has not been a cen tury since His crucifixion that tho re ligious people have not been looking for His coming. The Christians got their belief from the prophecies of Daniel and from St. John and St. Peter and later on from Ircnaeus and Justin Martyr and thoy delighted themselves with dreams of glory that was near at hand. Somo of them declared there would be no more winters, no more nights and everlasting wells would run with honey and milk and wine. Jeru salem would be rebuilt and the fruits of tho earth would he colossal and never dying. One notable writer said that every grape vine would have 10, 000 branches and every branch 10,000 shoots and evety shoot 10,000 bunches and every bunch 10,000 grapes and every grapo would make 25 gallons of wino. Good gracious I how thirsty that fellow must have boen. But tho mil lennium dident como and by and by "I did not sleep a night for seven long weeks." i That prolonged period of sleepless-' nero is most expressive of the pain and suffering caused by womanly diseases. It in pleasant to con trast the medical in efficiency which said "I could not be cured" with the prompt and perman ent cure effected by the use of Doctor Pierce's Favorite Prescription. This great medicine for women establishes regularity, dries en feebling drains, heals inflammation and Ol? Ccrution and cures female weakness. "i take KT tat pleasure In recommending Dr. Plorce'n medicine* to other sufTeriug women," write* Mr*. Mary Adams, of Orassycreek, Aahe Co., N. C. ?I had In ternal trouble very badly until It resulted in ulcers of the uterus. I was troubled with it so that I did not steep a night tor seven long weeks. The doctors said 1 coutd not be pared, but I com fit need taking Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription and ' Pleasant Pellets.' After taking two bottles I could sleep all night, and after taking six bottles of ' Favorite Prescription1 and two of 'Golden Medical Discovery'and three vials of 'Plcannnt Pellets' any case was cured. I had told my husband that I would have to die, as It teemed I could not live. lie told me to put faith In or. Pierce's medicines, for it had cured others and would cure me. Ho ft did. and I thank Ood slid your medicine for saving niy life." ? Dr. Pierce's Common Sense Medical Adviser, 1008 large pages, is sent free on receipt of stamps to pay expense of mailing only. Send 31 one-cent stamps for the book in cloth binding, or only ai turnips for the paper covered volume. AddrW Dr. R. V, Pierce, BuffalojN. V. / Coughed " I bad a most stubborn cough for many /sars. It deprived me of steep and I grew very thin. I then tried Ayer's Cherry Pectoral, and was quickly cured.'' R. N. Mann, Fall Mills, Tenn. Sixty years of cures and such testimony as the above have taught us what Ayer's Cherry Pectoral will do. We know it's the great est cough remedy ever made. And you will say so, too, after you try it. There's cure in every drop. Thrt? tlics: 25c., 50c, $1. All druggists. Consult your doctor. K ho saya take It, then do ss be says. If he tells you not to tako It, then don't take lt. II? knows. Leave It with him. Wo aro willing. J. C. AY KU CO., Lowoll, Mass. Origcn, a very wise aud good niau, camo along in Iho third contury and declared that there would be no such grapes, but that Christ's coming would bo altogether spiritual. Still Iiis com ing kept on being predicted aud when tho reformation of Luther aud Calvin camo about thoy said that tho popo was the anti-Christ and millennium was near at hand. Next came Oliver Cromwol', who cxcilod his followers with a prediction of tho millennium? and so it goes on and on and now it is about timo for another just aa soon as we havo done killiug of! the Philip pines and England has killed out all the Boers. Well, now all tbeso ruminations about tho millennium were provoked by what 1 havo been reading about tho recont discoveries of oil all over tho country. One thought brings on auolher aud if the coming of Christ is near at baud and His reign is to bo a spiritual one for a thousand years and thero is to be no wintor or night or sickness or pain or sorrow wo won't need all this oil, neither for fuel or light. And so 1 don't believe tho mil lennium is very near. If all tho peo ple are to bo converted and become good it will be a long timo off, for it is a slow process aud all the coal aud oil that is in the bowels of the earth will bo noeded. It waaont put there for nothiug. Missionary work is going on moro rapidly than ever beforo, but it is like a drop in a bucket of water. Wo have got 20,000 missionaries in heathen lands aud they ato aided by 80,000 native preachers and teachers, but these 100,000 will have to convert %n average for each of ten a year to mako a million, and there are over a thous and millions of heatheus now and moro coming on. Hut they do not convert half a million a year, for the last report gives only 4,000,000 all told. Last year wo spent #20,000,000 I on them and have now over 1,000,000 I children goiug to Christian schools and havo 2.*1,000 churches and over 1,000 secondary schools besides medi cal colleges aud training schools and hospitals and asylums for orphans and the blind and tho insane and tho lepers. Thoy have got almost everything that wo have got and now have protection in Constantinople and Pekin and Beirut aud other great heathen ccntors. The work thoy have doue in the last ten years is amazing and the abduc tion of Miss Stone has increased their zeal. Tbiity million dollars havo beon promised for this year and they say i that if we cannot convert them we caa 1 at least civilize them and teach them the doctrine oi a clean shirt aud a com fortable homo, and these are the first lessons in religion. Tho last official report tells us that moie than half the pupils are girls. For tc iturics women and girls have been under tho ban and wero of no moro consequence in tho household than dogs or beasts of bur den, but now they are being lifted up and treated with humanity and lcspect. If tho work of our missionaries ac complished no other good but tho re scuing of woman from tho degradation of ages it is worth ten times its cost. Cost! what is the cost but the surplus of our wealth, and that surplus is not ours, but Hod's. Libraries and col leges are good things to build up and foster, but how much do millionaires give to the cause af missions ? Most of this charity, we are told, camo from those who are not worth one-tenth of a million. It is a lament ill)le fact that the more a man has the more he wants and the less he gives away in proportion to his wealth. Tho parable of Dives and Lazarus was intended to alarm the rich aud selllnh, but most of them say give me a little more money and I will take the risk of losing heaven. Paul said to Timothy: "Gain is not godli ness, but godliness with contentment is great gain. We brought nothing into this world, anu it is certain wo can carry nothing out and they who would be rich fall into temptation and into foolish and hutful lusts that cast men into perdition. The love of money is the root of all evil." There is a sermon to live by, but it is hard to do. Somehow I cau't help wishing I had a little moro than I have got? not for myse'f, but my wife would like a carriage and horses and ride around and take the grand children, and she would like to have some money of her own to give away and buy little pre sents without asking me every now aud then for a dollar or two. She does hate to do that, and I don't let her when I have auy to spare. Bill Anp. To Dks'i uoy Molks_Mix a small quantity of arsenic with corn dough, make a holo <nto their roads hore and thenv deposit a lump abou, the size of a marble and co vor the holes proporly to exclude the light. With two appli cations I virtuplly exterminated tho moles from a badly-infested piece of ground. Some recommend soaking corn in strychnine. It may do equally well, but I never tried it. Others allege that moles will not receive tho poison. If the poison bo distributed in early spring, soon after tho moles leave their wintor quarters, there will bo no dif ficulty on that point. They are then hungry. Again, others say that moles are an advantage. Well, there are many farmers who would like to get rid of the moles and the above pi in will surely clean them up. CASTOR! A For Infanta and Children. The IM You Have Always Bought FROM A BACHELOR'S VlEWi Fools seek pleasure; wise men happi ness. Solomon's wives were contented bo cause they did not have to go out in bad weather to gossip. Some women are so unlucky about raising children that if thoy kept them locked in a safe they would be the first ones in the block to catch tho measles. Because a woman smiles hwoolly when tho dinner guest says ho will have more of her delicious pie and there isn't any more, is no sign that when she gets into another zoom she doesn't kick tho door m a ragO. The man who commands the largest respect from his wife is tho one who can make her believe tho reason he doesn't make more money is because It is so easy for him it isn't worth his whilo to give much attention to it. Talk is cheap, but silence is a bettor bargain. Possession of your houso is nine points of tho mothor-iu-law. Long tongues in men aro a sign of what long oars aro in quadrupeds? doukovs. llomeo was glad to c.imb up Juliet's balcouy to seo hor, but after the honey moon he would havo mado a rumpus because thoro was no elevator. Men may protend that thoy liko to havo their wives dress for sonso and comfort, but tho times when they givo thorn an oxtra allowance aro when thoy come homo and sco them in some thing mighty foolish, but mighty pretty. Thero is no past perfect tense in achiovomont for the man who has to make, promises. A mau'8 thoughts run furthest back to his mothor and further forward to himself. The girl who novor has been kissed in the dark has novor boen in tho dark very much with a man. Thoro was always a time when a girls hair was so long that she could sit on it, and whon a man's was trained down to nothing but hard iuubcIo. Thero is a time in ovory girl's life whon she hesitates to take any man in tho world, and thero is a time., if she has passed tho other tiino without being married, when sho would tako any man who asked hor. The women who donounce tho tor ture of binding tho feet of Chinese girls haven't a word to say ubout light lacing. In auy well-regulated household tho chief personage in their order of im portance nrc tho cook, the baby aud the baby's puppy dog. A girl who likes to walk (Ivo miles a day may not bo admired for tho height of her instep, but sho is likuly to have strapping tine children. Arrange to havo a woman catch you admiring her photograph as if you did not know she was around and you havo arranged to catch her admiring you. Tho real value of a family physician in that when a woman thinks nothing is the matter with one of the children he can mako her beliovc what sho knows already. If a man is detormincd to got into trouble it is not absolutely necessary i i WHEN MM COMES. ? Where did you come from, baby dear! Out of the everywhere Into the here. Where did you get your eyes so blue r Out of the sky na I came through. What makea the light In them spnrkls and spin? Borne of the atarry splkea let in. Where did you get that little tenr? I found it waiting when I got here." The fnct is ns sad as it is true t hut the baby finds the tear waiting to dull its blue eyes, and stain its soft cheeks. At the first it "has no language but a cry." Its one necessity is but to give expres sion to its suffering, and for that a tear suffices. The mother who stoops in anguish over the wailing child would do any thing to ease its suffering, hut she is helpless. The time when she could have done so much for her child is past. She did not realize that in those anxious nervous days when she shrank from the ordeal of motherhood she was preparing suffering for the b?ht'. The path of tuonierhood is soothed and made easy for those who use Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. It gives physical buoyancy and mental bright ness. It tranquilizes the nerves, en courages a healthy appetite and induces refreshing sleep. It gives the mother strength lor her hour of trial, and the confidence and content which come from strength. It makes the birth hour practically painless, aud by increasing the natural, food secretions, it enables the healthy mother to enjoy the happiness of nursing her child. "Favorite Prescription" contains no alcohol, neither opium, cocaine, or any other narcotic. A Mothor's Gratitude* ?1 would like to express my gratitude to you for tne benefit I have received from your wonderful medicine, ' Favorite Prescrip tion,'" writes Mrs. H. C. Anderson, ot Routh Ilritnin, New Haven Co., Conn., (Box 33). " During the first month of expectancy I could not keep anything on my stomach. Was SO sick that I had to go to bed and stay for weeks. I tried different doctors, but with little benefit. I read about many being helped by using your medicine, so I thoucrht I would jdv? it a trial. I began to take yo?r ' Favorite Prescription' in November and I had a nice little gfrl baby in February following. My baby weighed over eight pounds. I was only sick ai>out one hour, and got along nicely ancrward; whs up and dressed on the eighth day. I never had the doctor with me at all; just the nurse aud one or two friends. My friends thought that I jyns sick a very short time. I think Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription la indeed a true ' mother's friend,' for it helped me wonderfully. This makes my second ohild; with the first one I did not take Favorite Prescription.' The little one lived just about two months and she was sick all the time. This last baby Is as pluntp and Btalthy *? any mother could wish." Muoh Bottar Health. Mrs. Annie ntacker, ??9 Catherine Street, Byracus?, N. V? writes: "Your med icines have done wonders for me. For years my health waa Very poor; I had four mishaps, but since taking Dr. ~ len in for him to get married. Practicing what you preach boros your friends about as much as preach mg what you don't practice. Some people's hot ies aro bo attrac tive that thoy enjoy tho caso and com fort of Bitting in a doutist's chair. The average man who contends that paying insurance premiums is an un economic invostmeot spends thorn in a barroom to prove it. Whon tho average young woman considers her mission in life aho begins by wondering how mauy servants she will have, and whethor she will enjoy u victoria or a brougham most. When all me** are what they pre tend to bo the D illenium problem will bo easy. Ridicule no for his snub nose; you can novor ail what may turn up. IN A HUMOROUS VEIN. Ho?Do you kuow, dearest, that I think you aro the swedes', girl in all tho world ? She?Why not? All tho other gen tlemen who havo had the opportunity havo told me bo.?(boston Transcript. " Tho service at this hotel," said tho boarder who was generally bohiud in his payments, " is abominable, and I'm not going to put up with it much longor." " You're right," said the landlord, over-hearing him. u If you don't put up something pretty soon you'll put up somewhere olse." Towno?Do yoa think your caustic remarks to Bragg wore altogether war ranted? Browne?Yes, he deserves to bo sat upon occasionally, he's so frightfully conceited. Towuc?Truol I suppose conceit, liko auy other seat, should bo sat upon. ?Philadelphia Prosa. "Mips Bluff socms to bo at the dress maker's a good deal of tho time." u Yes. Sho's getting ready to go to tho mothers' congress. Sho reads a paper thoro, you know. It's on ?Tho Elovatiug Influonco of an Infant on Its Matorual Parent.' They say it's just beautiful. Slip's put some of her his attention thau auy of tho stuffed creatures which wore among his other gifts. On tho day after Chrittnas lit He. Willie's fond mamma wont into the nursery, and thoro found hor young son sitting on the lloor with tho white rabbit perched on the edge ot his little table beforo him. " Now, bunny," Willio was saying, 'is ho brandished his chubby forefinger in tho rabbit's face, " now, bunny, ro member, two (imos ouo ia twok two] times two is four, two times threo is six." EE His mother looked and listened for a momout in silent astonishmout. Thou sho spoke. " Willie," she said, ? what in tho world aro you trying to do ?" ?? Why, mamma," said the child, "I heard Uncle Fred say yesterday that rabbits multiplied rapidly." Didn't Know the Customs.?Du-1 ring the tlrst month Booker Washingb n got started at Tuskcgeo in 18.81, ho conducted instruction in an old-fash ioned, big, one-room but, tho roof of which leaked badly, so that on rainy days ouo of tho pupils had to hold an umbrella over tho teacher. This con dition of thiugs was changed, how ever: Ouo monuug Washington decided that tho school would havo to expand, aud instructed an old darkey to got to work early tho noxt morning and clean out an old henhouse that was on tho place. " Wlia'8 dal?" question tho old ne gro earnestly. ??1 want you to got to work at o'clock in tho morning," repented Washington,44 and clean up that old henhouse. We've got to have larger quarters for tho school." ?* Boas," said tho negro, earnestly, but with a twinklo in his eye, 44 yo'a gwino to git inter trubhlo sho'ly. I 'spect yo'ain't famil'nr wit' customs down yere. Yo' don' mean t' say yo's gwine t' clean out a hen house in do daytime?" It is reported in Vienna that Turkey has refused to repay tho ransom given to tho brigands for Miss Stone. The Worlds Greatest Fever Medicine. For all forms of fever take JOHNSON'S CHILI, ami FKVKR ONIC. It Is 100 times better than quinine and does in a singlo day what slow qui nine cannot do In 10 dayB. It's spendid cures are in striking contrast to the fooblo cures made hy quinine. COSTS 50 CENTS JF IT CURES. own poolry in it, you know." " But sho isn't a niothor." " No, of course not. But she was au infant." A negro man wont into Mr. E-'s olllco for tbo purpose of instituting a divorce against his wife Mr. E proceeded to question hint as to b:s grounds for complaint. Noticing that tho man's voice failed him, Mr. E looked up from his papers, and saw that big tears wore running down over tho cheeks of tho applicant for divorce u Why," said tho lawyor, "you seem to caro a great deal for your wife. Did you love hor?" " Lovo hor, sir? I jeBt analyzed her!" This was ruoro than professional dignity could withstand, and Mr. E laughed until tbo negro, offended, carried hie case elsowhere. He had been out slaughtering deer, and when he returned naturally hie friends expected a good bunting story, especially so because he wab known to have a tnasterily imagination. 44 Hello, Jones," chorused severs', when they mot him on the street the night that ho returned; "did you have much luck this time ?" 44 You bei.," ho answered, just as thoy expected. 44 How many deer did you kill on your trip?" asked one. "Ninety-nine," he replied, soberly. 44 Ninety-nine?" queried another, in credulously. " Why didn't you make it a hundred?" M Sir I" he said in a voico that Scared them, "do you think I would tell a blankoty-blank lie about one deer?" The bridge builder with Stonewall Jackson's army was a rare character, if the following stoiy bo true: The Union soldiers, retreating from the valley of Virginia, burned a biidgo over tho Shenandoah. Jackson, who wanted to pursue, sen for his old bridge builder. 44 Sir," ho said, 44 you must keep men at work all day and all night, and finish (bat bridge by to-morrow morn ing. My engiuccr shall give you a plan." Old Miles saluted and withdrow. Early the next morning tho general sent for Miles again. ? Well, sir," said Jackson, " did the engineer givo you the plau for 'ho biidge ?" "Genorol," said tho old man, slowlv, 44 tho bridgo is done; 1 don't knoiv whether the picture is or not." Tho provincial harbor remarked the sparsity of his customer's hair. 44 Havo you over tried our special hair wash?;' he said, expectantly. 44 Oh, no, it wasn't that that did it," was tho customer's crushing reply.? Tit Bits. A musician, brought to depair by the poor playing of a lady in a room above h,s own, meets hor ono day in the hall with her Ihrce-year-old child, and says, in a most friendly manner; 44 Yout Httlo one plays quite well for hor ago. I hear her practice every day."?Tit-Bits. Ono of tho best ways to illustrate the peculiar quality of American humo seems to bo to contrast it with somo peculiar quality of densoncss in the British or the Teutonic mind. A gcod examplo is the stoiy about n German who claimed that ho had the real New England sense of humor. His Ameri can ftiend thoreupou asked: 44 J)id you evor hoar tho joke about tho guido in Rome who showed some travelers two skulls of Saint I'aul, ono as a boy and the other as a man?" 4,No," said the Gorman, beginning to nnlicipato a good story. 44 Toll mo at onco mein friend, dat joke." *' Yes, they coaxed the girl from Boston to hang up hor stocking." " Well?" 44 Wei), somebody put one of those long striped candy canes in it." 44 Yes." " And there wasn't room for any thing else." Little WP' c was given a brautifnl live, white rabbit for a Christmas pr sent, and it naturally attracted more of OABTOXIIA. How the Farmers Can Save Money To tho Kditor of The Advertiser: The following communication issued by the Assistant Agriculturist of Clem son Agricultural college is of so much value to the fanners of this State on ac count of tho present high price of all feed products for farm animals and stock, that I havo determined to get you to publish this as an advertisement for which our company will bear tho ex pense. As soino of the products mado up in tho ration as mado by Mr. Connor may not bo available to various planters, I suggest that any planter writo to Mr. Connor and state what food products arc available to him, both rough forago and concentrated food, and Mr. Connor will tako plcasuie in making up a ration to suit his needs as ho has done in this instance. Gcnoral Manager Tho Southern Cotton Oil Company. Cheep Rations for Horses and Mules. Yours trul To the Kditor of Tho Advertiser: Farmers from various scctiouB of the Stato havo been writing asking about tho advisability of feeding horses and mules on cotton seed meal and hulls and also asking for a cheapor ration thau corn. Tho following prices are given in a letter from Scranton, 8. C : Corn, $10 per ton; oats, $15 per ton: wheat bran, $25 per ton; cotton seed meal, $25 per ton; rlco meal, $22 per ton. Of course corn and oats are out of the question as a food for horses and mulcB at the above prices so something cheaper must be looked for. Tho analysis shows that rice meal has about the aamo composition as corn meal and we havo found that it is just as good for feeding pigs. Wo have fed it to horses with good results. I think wo arc safo in saying that it may bo used in placo of corn pound for pound. If no hay or fodder is used in tho ration and hulls aro resorted to as rough ness somo nitrogenous food such as bran or cotton Bcod meal must bo used to supply protein. Hulls may be fed with out any further fear of injury to the ani mal. Should they refuse to eat tho hulls a little corn meal or bran sprinkled over tho surface will tempt them. A good cheap ration may bo made up as follows: Six pounds of rico costing ?.0 cents; four pounds of whoat bran costing 6 0 cents; two pounds of cotton seed meal, costing 2 5 conts ; ten pounds of cotton Bcud hulls, costing 8 0 cents ; total cost of ration per day 17.1. Tho abovo is for a horso or mulo of 1,000 pounds in live wcght. It is ovidont that a ration made up of corn and foddor and containing the same amount of digestiblo matter as the above ration would cost much moro than the abovo. Tho North Carolina experiment station has fed cotton seed meal and hulls to horses with good results, but tho cxpori monts along this line havo not been ox tonsivo enough to say that cotton seed moal can bo fod in unlimited quantities for any length of timo without injury to tho animal. Numbers of farmers, however, havo reported that thoy havo fod cotton seed moal to mulca and horses with good results C. M. Conn ion, Asst. Agrist. 8. C. Experimental 8tu tion The Entering Wedge To your consideration is gon orally tho cost, though cost should always bo rolativo to valuo to bo n fair tost. Tho lumber wo soil may not always bo tho ohenpest in prico, but it's always ohoapost in tho long run, bocaueo wo givo { 10 boat valuo. Thoroughly kiln-di'od,pro. porly eawod and planod, you'll And it "matches" well, and will bo a life-long sonreo of satisfao tion H.Hudgeri8& Son. CASTOR IA Tho Kind You Havo Always Bought, mid which has been in uso for over 30 years, has horno the signature of ^yp - and has heen mndo under his por /O5" jCJ&JWJ*~jPa* sonal supervision sinco its infancy. v#t?5>V^ /*CtfcSU<K Allow no ono to decoi vo you in this. All Counterfeits, Imitations and ** ?Just-as-good" aro hut Experiments that triilo with and endanger tlio health of Infants and Children?Experience against Experiment. What is CASTORIA Oastoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare goric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It is Plcusnnt. It contains neither Opium, morphine nor other Narcotic substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms and allays Fovorishuoss. It cares Diarrhoea and Wind Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep* 'jpho Children's Panacea?Tho Mother's Friend. GENUBNiS CASTORIA ALWAYS Bears the Signature of 4M The Kind You Have Always Bought In Use For Over 30 Years. THC C?NT*un COMPHNV, TT MURRAY BTncCT, NCW YORK CITY. The practical side of science is roflectcd in A monthly publication of inestimable valuo to tho student of every day scientific problems, the mechanic, tho industrial expert, tho manufacturer, tho inventor ? in fact, to every wide-awake person who hopes to bettor Ins condition by using his brains. The inventor, especially, will find in The Patent Record a guide, philosopher and friend. Nothing of importance escapes the vigilant, eyes of its corps of export editors. Everything is pre sented in clean, conciso fashion, so that the busiest may take time to read and comprehend. The scientific and industrial progress of the age is accur' atcly mirrored in tho columns of The Patent Record, and it is tho onlj publication in the country that prints the official news of the U. S. Patent Office and the latest devclopements in the field of invention without fear or favor. sunscmrTiON price one doli.au ran year. THE PATENT RECORD. Baltimore. Md. Columbia, Newberry k Laar? R i Passenger Bchodule in cITeot July 21,10' 1 Subject to change without notice. eastern btandard Tl Kead t'p A rrive. H iKl pin 5 2 < i mi 4 8 |>m 3 15 pin 2 48 i m 2 00 pm Kcad Down. Leave. Atlanta SAL. 7,4.riam Atlicn8.in 1 lam Klberton . .... 11 Warn Abbeville ..12 23pm Greenwood.12 4Hpm Ar Clinton .... Dinner... 1 l.Spui G. & W. C. i.eavo. Arrive. (Menu Springs.I 'am 4 00 pin Spart anhnrg.1115 ?10 Greenville.1201 :hk) Watcrloot.12 52pm 2 01 Ar Laorcns.Dinner.. 1 10 Lv 1 88 No. 63 No, 52. Leave. Arrive Laurcns..12 65pm Parke. 105 Clinton. 1 2.r> Goldvillc. 1 37 Kinards. ill Gary. 1 III .lalana. I f>4 Newberry.2 10 Prosperity.2 21 Sllghe.... .2 31 Liitlc Mountain. 2 38 Chnpin.2 6" Hilton .2 5S White Hock.3 02 Batentinc . 3(*7 Irmo.3 1(1 Lcaphart .3 22 Ar Columbia.3 36 I.v No. 22 Leave. Laurons. 0 00am Parks.... .(i 10 Olinton. 0 40 Gold vi lie.0 53 Kinards. 7 OS Gary. 7 17 Jalapa.7 20 Newberry.8 00 Prosperity.8 28 Bligha . 8 42 Liltle Mountain . 8 KS Gliapin. U 16 Hilton . 021 While Kock. :> v.'.t Hillen 11 lie.?i 37 Irmo.<) ;">2 Lcaphart.10 02 Columbia.in :to A. G. L. Leave Arrive Columbia_ . 3 45 n lo Hum!er. 4 66 0 40 v;iiarlcston. 8 10 7 no fllarris Springs. ' I lady except Sunday. For Kates, Time Tables, or further in formation call on any Agent,or write to W. O. Guilds, President. T. M. ICmrkson, Trallio M'gr, J. K. LlViNoSTON, Hoi, Aff'l, Columbia, 8.C. H. M. Kmkkson, Ooil. Freight and Pas senger Agt, Wilmington, N. G. l 47pm l in 1 25 1 12 1 i li 1 GO 12 55 12 12 12 20 12 20 12 Hi 12 03 11 57 11 54 II IU II 40 11 33 11 20 No. 86 A rnve. ii cOaiii 4 50 1 :io 3 51 3 40 8 31 3 22 8f0 2 92 2 02 I 60 I 30 I 20 1 21 1 15 1 no 12 is 12 80 "Why Not Save The Middle-Man's Profit? The MoPhall Piano or Kinrtererartcn Organ direct to tho buyer from fac tory. Wrlt<; mo If you wish to huy an O.'gan or PI ino, for T can fiavo you monoy. f travel South Carolina, aril would bo p'oased to call and show you my Pianos and Organs. A postal eard will bring mo to you. L A. McCORD, Laurene, ? - South Caroli SOUThERI) BMQHlHNnO 8,000 Graduates Receives from 1 to 5 ap plications daily for huokStcepcrs and Rte noeraphers. llonkkcejing, Shorihand, Telegraphy taught. Refers lo Atlanta's business men and hankers. Writo for eat aloguo. Address A c. BK180OK, Pro?, or Jb. W. ARNOLD, Vico-Pres., Atlanta, (la IluslncHa Cliancon. DO YOl' want to make ?l,0'0 between now and March 1, 19U3? If so, send ten cents (silver) for our specially and receive frco coupon which entitles you to ono guess; capital prizo ft CCD tract of land lo cctcd In Laurena County, South Carolina; bank references glvon. Address TWIN-NI'Mi: Co, honrnm, 8. 0, Cured in thirty tosixy d*ys Ton days treatment KUKK Would bo glad to have names of all suffering with Dropsy O. E. COLLUM DUOPSY MEDI CINE CO., :U2 18 Lowndes Bulldmg, Atlanta, Ga. Trains Double Daily Service CAPITAL CITY KOUTE. Shortest line between all principal citie North, Fast, Bouth and West. SoiiKDur.sa In Effect Due 1, looi. north bound. No. (>(!. No. 3 Lv Savannah. Central T...1180pm 165pm Fairfax .1 lOain 3 40pm Denmark. 1 Mlnm 4 27 pm Columbia, Rastern T... 4 10am 7 05pm Camdon. 007am 800pm Cher aw.... .[6 80am 040pm Ar Hamlet . 7',05am It) 1.5pm Lv Calhonn Falls. 100pm 4.21pm Abbovlllo. 1 33pm 4 54am Greonwood. 150am 5 10am Clinton . .... 2 4'am 608am Carlisle. 3 3'iam 0 53am ('heater . 4 00am 7 2 mm Catawba Junction. 4 33am 7 51am Ar Hamlet. .7.0Oam 10 15am Lv llamlot . 7 25am 10 40pm Ar halelgb.1016am 1 30am Petersburg. 2 20pm 5*Mam Richmond. 3 05pm U3>am Washington. 6 85pm*l0 10am I tali i more.11 25pm Jl 1.25am Philadelphia.'256am 1 3<;pm New York. 6 30am 4 16pm Portsmouth-Norfolk.. 5 25pm 7 15am local atlanta to clinton. No. Lv Calhoun Falls. 12 Abbeville.12 57pm (ireenwood._ 1 22pm Clinton. 2 15pm 801) Til BOUND. Daily. Dailv. No. 31. No. 27. Lv Chcraw, Kastern T... 7 Hani 11 06pm Camdcn. 8 31am 12 53am Columbia, Central T.. 8 40am I 05am Denmark. 052am 2 17am Fairfax .10 30am 2 57am Ar Savannah.12 05pm 1 40am Jacksonville. 3 50pm 0 05am Tampa.... . 5 00am 5 40pm Lv Catawba. Kastern T . 907am 12 67am Chester . 0 15am 135am Carlisle.... .10 15am 2 00am Clinton.lldiam 2 67 am (Ireenwood .11 52am 3 43am Abbeville .12 21pm 4 mam Calhoun Falls.12 5pm 4 38am Ar Athens .221pm 1, 13am Atlanta. 4 65pm 8 60am local clinton to atlanta. No 53 Lv Clinton.2 45pm (Ireenwood. 835pm Abbeville . I 07pm Calhoun Falls. 4 45pm Ar AthciiH.(i 10pm Atlanta . 8 50pm Columbia, Newberry .fe Laure * . I way Lain No. 52, leaving Columbia, Union station, at 11.20 a m daily, connects at Clin ton with HAL Ky No 53, affording short est and quickest route by several hoir.s to Atlanta, Chattanooga, Nashville,8t. Louis, Chicago and all points West. close connection at Potcreburg, Rich mond, Washington. I'ortKinouth-Nottolk, Columbia, Savannah, Jacksonville and Allan a with diverging lines. Magnificent vestibule trains carrying through I'uilman sleeping cars between all principal points. For reduced rates, Pullman reservations, etc, apply to W. P. 8CRUUOS. T. P. A., Savannah, (la, J. M. HAHR, 1st. V. P. and Q. M., It K L Hunch, (i P A, Portsmouth, Va. c<iuallcd Schedules to Pan-American ion at HulTalo. THE YOUNGBIiOOD LUMBE.K COMPANY AUGUSTA, OA. Urrtrg and Works, North Augusta, 8. 0 Doors, 8Mb, Blinde and Builder'* Hardware. FLOORING, 8IDING, CEILTNG AND INSIDE FINISHING LUMBER IN GEORGIA PINE. All Correspondence given 'prompt at cntion. MONEY TO LOAN On farm lands. Kasy payments. No com missions charged, Iforrower pays actual c hi of perfecting loan. For information write JNO, B. PALMER A BON, Columbia, 8. a