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A MULE TALE.
. Uy Win. I). 8.
I if the spring of tho Burronder of
the Southern Confederacy, I wus walk
ing along tho public road near Tum
bling Shoals, I had my shot nun on my
shoulder. I looked up I ><? road and
saw a young man coming toward me
riding a mule, who halted and looked
at me and then up the road. Where
he saw another man standing In tho
road with a nun on his shoulder. This
was too much Tor him, it looked like-:
be was cul ox both ways. Ho Imme
diately Jumped off the mule and ran
through the woods. I went up to tho
mule and called for the man to come
from the woods and get his mule. I
received no answer. My neighbor.
Robert Blakelcy was plowing a mile
below us. and lie saw the boy running
full speed down the creek like old Nick
was after him. Ho never came back
aftor his mule and after long enquiry
I was unable to find out who he was. ;
The mule came on down to my lot
and next morning M. Llndley was
passing and I 'old him to take the
mule and keep him until the owner
appeared. He had Just come out ot
the army and had no horse to make a
crop. When the garrison came into
laurens I made a report of the mat
ter to the captain who told me to
keep the mule, until he was claimed,
and then send the man and mule down
Idndloy used the mule two years,
waiting for some one to Claim him.
and then traded b|m off.
You will find that druggists every
where speak well of Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy. They know from long
experience in the sale of It that in
coses of coughs and colds it can al
ways he depended upon, and that it is
pleasant and safe to take. For sale
by all dealers.
Mr. IV. II. Lockwood Leaves.
Mr. W. H. Lock wood, who has been
manager of the local branch of the
Metropolitan Life Insurance Company,
left yesterday ? ? t. > nii wlfo r >: Hlrm
Ingham, Ala., where they will make
their home in the future. Mr. I.. F.
Qrant, Ullttl recently located at AsllO
vlllo, has arrived to take Iiis place.
Mr. (I rant was accompanied by his
wife. They are temporarily located at
the Gllkerson House until they secure
quarters of their own. While Mr. and
Mi. Lockwood are reluctantly given
up, a hearty welcome is extended Mr.
and Mrs. Grant.
There Is more Catarrh In this sei -
lion of the country than all other
diseases put together, and until the1
last few years was supposed to he in
curable. For n great many years doc
tors pronounced It a local disease and
prescribed local remedies, and by con
stantly falling to cure with local
treatment, pronounced it incurable.
(Iclenco has proven Catarrh to he a
constitutional disease, and therefore!
roqulros constitutional treatment.
Hall's Catarrh ('uro, manufactured by
F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo. Ohio, is
the only Constitutional cure on the
market. It Is taken internally in dos
es from 10 drops to a teaspoon fill It
acts directly on the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system. They offer
one hundred dollars for any case it
fails to cure. Semi for circulars and
Address: F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo.
Kol <I by Druggists, 7?c.
Take Hall's Family Pills for con
?*1 hope you won't be hard on rne.
Ju'ge," be said. "You see, 1 was under
?tie Influence ot liquor when i doue
"You Feem to have been under the
Influence Of something equally bad
when you studied grammar. During I
the spare moments that you are going j
to have, permit yourself to lndulgo In
judicious study of the construction of j
simple sentences Here is one to be
gin with sixty days."
HOW TO RESIST
Chronic Coughs and Colds. j
Strong, vigorous men and womon
hardly ever catch cold; it's only when
tho system Is run down and vitality
low that colds and coughs get a foot
Now Isn't It reasonable that tho
right way to euro a cough Is to build
up your strength again?
Mrs. Olivia Parhnm, of East Dur
ham, N. C, say?: "I took Vinol for a
chronic cough which had lasted two
years, and tho cough not only disap
peared, but It built up my strength
Tho reason Vinol Is so ofTkicloriH In
such cases Is because It contains In a
delicious, concentrated form all tho
medicinal curativo elements of cod ]
Ihrer oil, with tonic, blood-building |
Iron added. ,
Chronic coughs nnd colds yield to
Vinol becauso it builds up tho weak
ened, run-down system.
You can get your money back any
tfme If Vinol does not do all wo say.
LAUKENS DRUG CO.
Lam en<-\ S. C.
BITTERS A N D KI D>?J
"Ho loves me, he loves me not,"
said Maud Malier, as she went through
the garden picking potato bugs off the
"He loves me."
Bhe picked a potato bug.
"He loves me not."
She gathered another potato bug.
"A thrifty girl, forsooth." declured
tho Judge. "Instead of playing that
game with daisy petals, she plays It
with potato bugs."
Ho proposed, they were married,
and If tho recall does not go into
effect they will doubtless live happily.
"I wish I could get out of this town.
It's no place for a fellow with any
"Why, I had an Idea that It was a
pretty good town. It has a higher av
erage of successful men than almost
any other place that I know of."
"Oh, that may be. but see how the
poor devils have had to work for their
Well Worth Catching.
"Anything worth catching In that
lake?" asked the young man who had
The hotel proprietor matched his
question with another.
"See that girl in tho red bathing
"She ought to be worth catching.
They say she's worth 100,000 plunks."
This Is Terrible.
"This summer resort reminds mo of
"Not that. Tho belles aro peeling,
don't you know."
Then tho arm of tho sea curled
around the Bandy waste.
Tom?.Tack tells me he hasn't slept
a wink for several nights.
Dick?Insomnia. I suppose.
Tom?No; new baby.
This Hot Weather.
A nice, cool wave may hit our clime
And temper thliu<H for men.
Delightful <!<iya may come In time.
How It Happened.
"So he finally proposed to you in
"Yes, a heavy wave camo In and I
lost my feet, and then he?"
"I see; then he lost his head."
Just the Thing.
"Life is a burden to me."
"Take an Interest in something.
Have an avocation. Take, up golf."
"Aw, lifo Isn't worth living."
"Then take up aviation."
"I hear draco Is engaged to a very
desirable fellow hero at tho Ileach."
"He has no money."
"No; hut ho has a Job for tho sum
mer as soda watpr clerk."
Had Reason to Feel That Way.
"I'd llko to seo tho man who could
persundo mo to promise to lovo, honor
and obey him," said Miss Wellalong.
"I don't blnmo you," replied tho pert
"Do you mean to say. sir, that I do
not mako our abode home like?"
"On the contrary, my dear, this Is
exactly llko tho rows mother used
Namely, His Own.
Jack?Do you llko Kitty's face?
Tom?Well, I have nothing against
Jack?No, but I'll bet you'd like to
From the Hobo Viewpoint.
"Is this n good town?"
"Naw, rott<n! I had free jobs of
fered mo In one day."
Mr Parvenue?How long did It take
you to do that picture?
The Artist?About four months.
Mr. Parvenue?Gee! 1 Been a fel
low In a store window down town who
painted "em while you wait.
his fatal mistake.
Visitor?1 suppose now. you wish
you had taken the straight and nar
Prlscner?G wan' Dat's what 1 did
take. If I only dodped Into dat crook
ed alley dey wouldn't a' ketched me.
Mary Ann- Pat. will yez love me
always wid all yer heart?
Pat Dunn?Shure, unless Ol have
First Parrot?Willie Owl was put
out of the theater last night
Second Parrot?What forT
First Parrot?Why. he commenced
hooting at the villain.
Mrs Dobbins?Is your husband go
lug to Mrs .lolthlns' funeral?
Mrs Tobblns Decidedly not! 8h?
oevci returned my u?st call
Or are you not ready for the
New Year's demand for Station
ery of every description. If you
are not, we are ready to put you
right. Letter Heads, Bill Heads,
Note Heads, Envelopes, Legal
Blanks of every description, and
anything printable can be han
dled by us with accuracy, speed
and saving to you. Try the
Advertiser Printing Co.,
Laurens, South Carolina