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GOT WRONG MAN THAT TIME
College Seniors Made Deolded Mistake
When They Tried to "Smoke
Out" Young Kentuckian.
Toni Honan, former attorney ken
eral of Indiana, was talking of his col
lege days at Indiana university. He
recalled, with a laugh, how the seniors
used to "smoke out" the freshmen In
the good old days.
"The big idea was," said Mr. Ho
nan, "for five or six, qr perhaps a
dozen seniors, to congregate in the
room of a freshman and smoke pipes
until the smoke made him sick.
Usually the fellow selected for the
'smoking out' process was one of these
Imollycoddle youngsters who had not
long been divorced from his mother's
"One time we selected a long, lcen
Kentucky boy. One by one we dropped
in, lighted our pl)es and began the
game. Kentucky fired up his pipe,
too, and the evening wore on. The
Smoke grew heavier with each pass
Ing half-hour. Not a window was up,
not a 'door open. Along about eleven
o'clock two' or three seniors disap
peared. They had been shipwrecked.
FinaIly the tobacco began running
out, much to the pleasure of several
of us. ]But Kentuck smoked on.
"At last one of us remarked to Ken
tuck that we'd have to go, as our to
bacco had rin out.
"'No, don't go,' Kentuck insisted.
'Tve got a lot more tobacco. Lawdy,
I couldn't think o' comin' 'way up
bawth heah without some good to
"Kentuck opened his trunk. One
.end of It was jammed with old Ken
tucky long green tobacco. We tore out.
We had picked on the wrong bird."
SERKESS FOUND HIS MOTHER
Pathetic Cases Such as This One Re.
ported Have Long Been Com-.
mon in Armenia.
Bright and early one morning a
band of Arnabs drove up to the Near
Enst Itelief orphanage at Kars, Ar
ilenla, bringing with themi a forlorn
little chap about five years old.
"WeOT want you to take this boy,"
Said the lendler of the band to an ofli
clal of tihe orphanage. "Ile has no
father, nor mother."
"What Is his name?" the leader of
the band wa-its asked.
"Ile is clled Serkess," shouted
back (he leader of the Arabs as they
In this way little Serkess became
a member of our family. He was an
intelligent little chap but seemed un
able to remember anything about his
home or his parents.
A few days later one of the native
women helpers at the orphanage was
going through the playground when
she suddienly stopped, turned pale and
stared unbelievingly at one of the lit
tle chaps who was playing there.
"Serkess!" she cried, and running to
the youngster gathered him Into her
arms. Serkess was her son who had
been taken from her two years before
by the Turks.
Country of Little Change.
IRecently when Professor Williams
visited the ' vice regent of South Mo
rocco. the latter quoted from a char
ter given by the Sultan of Morocco
In 1020. The visitor expressed sur
prise that this ancient parchment still
remained in the vault, and the vice
regent exclaimed: "Why not? We
have never moved i" This incident
Is said not to be at all remarkable.
Wherever one goes in the Turkish
empire, he is likeiy to be confronted
with the evidlence of age by the tradi
tions handed down from generation
to generation. It is no more strange
for a Turk to speak of happenings
In his family of centuries ago than
it is for an old man in this country
to recall with pride the exploits of
his father or grandfather.
- Things That Count.
It is not so much whra we say hot
what we do that wins men to better
things; not what we preach but how
we act that saves aanls and puts the
red lifeblood Into an anaemiic world.
After all, the world is qui. it touched
not by the great buildi: ,t by the
great heart; not by the cold word on
printed page but by the warm word
as it comes from living lips; not so
much by the house of mercy as by
the merciful hand laid on the fevered
brow; not so much by the house that
shelters the wanderer as the beautiful
face which enshrines motherhood at
whose knees lonely children gather.
The fourth grade teacher wias
teaching the children the meaning of
several new words, among them being
the word "naturalist." She had
spoken of John Burroughs and aeverai
of our best known nature lovers and
then decided to test the children to
see whether they thoroughly under.
stood the word. She turned to little
Newell. Use the ward 'naturalist' i
a sentence." she told him.
For a minute the iittle fellow wau
perplered and then came A bright
thought which brought relief to hi
face. Hie said: "That was the natur
alist picture wve have of my grand
"Are they well matched?".
"Well, she'S hIs second wife. bul
he's h:' second busband, so neithem
has any talking advantage ,over the
GREAT FUTURE FOR WIRELESS
Boys Who Plan to Make it Their tife
Work Should Know and Appre
clate its Value.
Before going Into practice Instrue.
tion It Is important that the boys who
are to become the wirless men of the
ruture should appreciate at value
of such work..Wireless transmission of
messages and of the human voice Is
becoming daily more common. In a
few years the entire sydtem of com
inunication throughout the world may
lie transformed by wireless electriel
ly, and It Is Important that boys
,should be able to take their part In it.
The amateur wireless station Is a great
educator and gives the boys who
equip and operate it an excellent ed
icatlon In the wonderful new science.
When the call cane for wireless men
for the great war the amateur op
erators were able to take a prominent
part. Thousands of boys who had
taught themselves how to build sta
tions and run them were able to take
imliportant positions In wireless sta
tions at sea and on shore. No other
country had so vast an army of self
taught wireless operators to call on.
Many of the boys who had taught
themselves all they kiiew of the sel
once rose to occupy Important posi
tions. It Is not generally known that
It was an atuateur wireless man who
was chosen to fly across the Atlantic
on the NO-4 on her famous flight.
HAS BOTH MEMORY AND SCAR
Two Excellent Reasons Why One Man
Will Remember That He Was
Kicked by a Mule.
A kick from mule Is guaranteed
to miake just afout as much impres
slon on the memory as It does on the
anatomy. Yet Clyde D. Jarvis has
made sure that he will not forget the
kIck he received from a Missouri
beast of burden for the rest of his
Jarvis applied at Houston, Texas,
for enlistment In the marine corps
and was accepted. lie exhibited 11
scar about six inches long on tihe left
side of his abdomen, and explained It
was the result of an operation lie had
undergone so1ne 31x ionths before,
for a supposed ruptured spleen, fol
lowIng the kilk frotu the mule.
The operating surgeonl had made
the wrong diainosis, however, and
found that Jarvis' spleen was 0. K.
Tattooed above the scar In large let
ters were the words, "Opened by mis
An Old Street Directory.
An odd reminder of the past turns
up In the list of duplicates that the
Massachusetts Historical society has
decilded to sell from Its collection of
historic miscellany In the form of the
first street directory of Boston, and
for that matter the first street direc
tory ever printed In what Is now the
United States. In 1708, when the
broadside was printed, 110 names were
enough for all the streets, alleys,
lanes and squares of the town; and
many of them read the same nowa
(lys. For some years prior to 1708
the process of preparing the list had
been engaging the authoritIes, and
when the selectmen published it they
were doubtless well satisfied with
Paddy lane, Frog lane, Cow lane,
Pudding lone and other quaint titles
whIch a modern municipal government
might regard as undIgnfined and trivial.
--ChristIan Science Monitor.
What He Thought.
Oompany had just gone and Mars. A.
had changed from her company talk
to that of the every day variety,
Speaking plainly she was nagging
her husband. He endured It for a
little wvhIle and then be said, "Maria,
do you knew why I call you my queen
bee to the boys at the office?"
"No," snapped Maria, not the least
bit mollified by the title of queen.
"Well," patiently explained lMr. A.
carefully discerning the shortest way
to the doer as he spoke, "while we
have company you make me honey all
the time and then just as soon as they
are gone you begin to industrIously
Iuse your stinging abIlitIes."
And then, well, then, the door closed
after Mr. A.
Good-by, Gunga Oin,
The pIcturesque water vender with
his pIgskin pack on his back, as well
as the more charming picture of the
native virgin carrying a water jar on
her head, will soon he hut a memory
in Jerusalem. It Is hoped that the
terrible water-borne dIseases. so com
mon when PalestIne was tunder Turk
I lh rule, will likewise dIappear lato
Ithe forgotten past.
The recliming of thousandls of
acres of swamnplandls, to improve a'irl
cultural, lndtustrlal and sanitary con
ditIons of Palestine, is another of the
reconstructIon problems to be started
by the Zionist engineers. through the
'$10,000,000 restoration fund.
"Buy a washing machine and make
your wife happy."
"What I" exclaimed the southertn
man. "And break the heart of a col
ored dame with a huishand and eight
or nine children to stupport? Never,
str I My wife and I must continue to
stiffer for the greatest gaod of the
grLaeatest number."-lrminghan Age
Monster Plane Shells.
int the early pet'lod of the- wvor-i war
the bombo used by airplanes weigmher'
20 jat:.ds5, but tard -t th" close ol
the confliet the largest w-eighed a tomi
and a haif---Broolyn Rnsgle.
BURNING JAPANESE GOODS AT TIENTSIN
Chinese of TIentslin partle pating In a great anti-Japanese demonstration
and burning goods taken from Japanese shops and homes.
0OW EN BROS. MARBLE
& GRANITE Co.
; Dealers in everything for 'he ne-.
'rhe largest and best equipped mon-.
O umental mills in the Carolinas.
GREENWOOD, - - - S. C.
GROW BIGGER CROPS
The demand the coming year for Cotton, Corn, Grain etc.,
will far exceed that of any recent years.
The half-starved peoples of Europe are even now crying out for food and cloth
ing. And the world as depending upon the Farmers of America to Supply it.
You cannot raise a 100% crop unless you have a 100% soil. Fertility is largely
a matter of balanced conditions of the soil. Phosphoric Acid, Ammonia, and
Potash must be present in the proper proportions if bumper crops are to
DOUBLES YOUR YIEID
because it contains available Phosphoric Acid, Ammomia and Potash In the
Every bag is stamped with our Giant Lizard Trade-Mark. Look for it-it's
for your protection, and better place your order for Planter's right now and
avoid delayed delivery.
Ask our agent In your town for information, free advice, or prices, or write
Plamers Fertilizer & Phosphate Co.
CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA
- - -~-~--X
Largest Life Insurance Business in the World
METROPOLITAN LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY
(INCORPORATED BY THE STATE OF NEW YORK)
HALEY FISKE, President FREDERICK H. ECKER, Vice-President
Total Amount of Outstanding Insurance - - - - $5,343,652,434
Larger than that of any other Company in the World
Ordinary (annual premium) Life Insurance paid for in 1919 $910,091,087
Industrial (weekly premium) Insurance paid for in 1919 - $508,590,405
More than has ever been placed in one year by any Company in the World
Total Insurance placed and paid for in 1919 - - - $1,418,681,492
Ihe largest amount ever placed in one year by any Company in the World
Gain in Insurance in Force in 1919 - - - - - $914,140,618
More than ever has been gained in one year by any Comppny in the World
The Company gained more insurance in force in 1919 than any other Company wrote
Number of Policies in Force December 31, 1919 - - 21,770,671
Larger than that of any other Company in America
Gain in Number of Outstaading Policies - - - - 1,987,410
Larger than any Company in the World has ever gained in one year
Assets - - - - - - - - - - $864,821,824.55
Larger than that of any other Company in the World
Increase in Assets during 1919 . . . . . . $89,367,126.27
Liabilities . . . . . . . . . . $835,736,487.38
Surplus . . . . . . . . . . . $29,085,337.17
Number of Claims paid in 1919 . . . . . . 289,125
Averaging one policy paid for every 30 seconds of each business day of 8 hours
Amount paid to Policy-holders in 1919 . . . . $73,581,759.91
Payment of claims averaged $505.93 a minute of each business day of 8 hours.
Metropolitan Nurses made 1,300,883 visits free of charge to
256,000 sick Industrial Policy-holders.
Metropolitan men distributed over Twelve Millions of pieces
of literature on health
Bringing the total distribution to over 200,000,000
Reduction in general mortality at ages 1 to 74 in 8 years, 17.9 per cent.
7yphoid reduction, 69 per cent.; Tuberculosis, over 33 per cent.; Heart
disease, over 23 per cent.; Brgiht's disease, over 25 per cent.; In
fectious diseases of children, over 46 per cent.
In general reduction and in each case of disease, this is far greater than that shown by
statistics of the Registration Area of the United States.
Death Rate for 1919 on the Industrial business lowest in history of Company.
R. M. McKEMIE, Deputy Supt., 11 12 Laurens St., Laurens, S. .