Newspaper Page Text
C.
TWO DOLLARS PER ANNUM, y
GOD AND OUR COUNTRY.
ALWAYS IN ADVANCE
VOLUME VI
SATURDAY MORNING, JULY 13, 1878.
NUMBER IT
GIN GEARING
Sil AI TING AND BOLTS
CHEAPER
THAN EVER B13FOXIJE
AT TiUC
FOREST CITY {FOUNDRY
AM)
M?CHiNE WORKS,
|GEO. R. LOMBARD & CO.,
AUGUST A, GA.
ENGINES,
COTTON SCREWS,
MILL GEARING
And Machinery off Kinds Made and Re
paired.
oct 27 1250] ">2
MARRIED
E
HR.IESTTS
No. 12 N. Eighth St.
If "f.g g -TW St. Louis, Mo.
VTbo bai had greater experience In the treatment of tho
MXttaltrectilesof both nialo and female than nny pliy.irlaa
In the WMt, Rivri the rrtultt of hia hunt and hik-cc*j1U1
practice in hia twa new works Juit pubUaheu, entitled
The PHYSIOLOGY OF MARRIAGE
The PRIVATE MEDICAL ADVISER
Hooka that are real]/ fi nl Jr. aad BelMnrtrortera In all mat
ten pertaining to Manhood and Womanhood, nml supply
?want long ME They are brantirullj lllettralre, anil In plain
language, ra?lly umlrrttood. The two hook, in l.n.v.'ii'.
Ihm, and contain rateable Infiria.tlun for both umrrirdatid
rtnsla. with all the recent Improvements in med leal treat men!
In Orw Italic
artrr, bid it something tb.t .'rry?ae ahoulil know. Tlin
Tooth, tho Tlctlin of early Inili.i'retion-, the Baa, olhrrwlio
perfrstly hrallhy may be,but with Mailing vigor hi tit.-;
ofllfe. end the rioni.a, In nilten
from tho many ilia her fez U lu'i'i
to.'?St. Ijoul* JournaL
rorcLia PRICKS ? CO ct? ccch
both In oi;e volume, |1 j In cloth ami
gilt, ii rti. extra. 8rnt iimlcr leal, or
receipt of price In money or stamps.
rtpr'l 27 ft ly
SINGLE
L '
TO r?]^]ST.
That large and commodious Lriek Store,
formerly occupied by Mr. C Lt. Jones.
Eor terms Itppfv to
MKS. M. E. MCNAMARA?
a tie 11 tf.
-f'S I -'l I'-'l inn ..( Ih. II.-ni l. MdlM-V I 1 l.l.b
'? i .il'iOji 4'??'ttlti|.litl- <, .?>??.. J' i i,;,s
? t.? ?II Ol w hh'll ri'-itIt from ;? il. tni-C"- )? j j
..!,,*. lilMit ??! <!??!. I' el lio iifln. linJ,... T V
T r;, srr |,p?k,.? k? stlfccttfttl IHt. LilM'L
tutt'S !LiiiXi?> riLLS
Words of Advice, Sliii,
TUTT'r, i'll.ID
vutt'Sl? HSI'TTCTKnTil V ntlVr?-. hv | l.LLS
wi'.rrN w, H. 'i i tt, M.I?.. :<>r Iti'.nv |>|| i.<
v?:.:~ 1). ...?.m ii itoi of A i i,t?: hi ,,,, |S
3 V.lVA Thirty fat.' ? .H.i-. 1.. tU* KJ'rW
1 M I T'S pr.i..tl. e,.; it.edlclll-. Int-ether ????? PILL*
<rwTT'<nn?eii *. .r.- i.-i or Tuir? l'tii?; rt:.LS
'Jtimn.nl llir lbiMivMh.il of t.-ti-....i !..l. PILL*
TUT 1' * Bit en .if i!h In acv. \>..ri.." l nir r I i.
TUTT'S ",:,t " l"'?l?l?' I.? ; I I.LS
?ril rv*m eure all di?en?rj? t litt re-till ITonir. ri, i?!
J.} i|. di.. a...i ii ... ?. ne.< ti.it... . ;,.!' ?;
J..' Ii.* <?">...oh.1 lor nil III.' UN I lie I MVIel ,;?.
*J I TTV |,.j?, ; i?? ,i.rl?v <i...i..|?...i?vi.- ' '
"l OTT'Sdtce. i '.tusvilmlltiii. Vliv-Z .-'..In I il'l '.I S
TUTT'nc. inn.hi. i ..lit- i:h???u?in!lM?i;ril;l..'
?"t'.'T'f'S r-'i "-'lion "i ih. Heart.
'fTTi
n t'TT'
\ OTT'
TVTTr?'n:TT*? Vf.uktaiji.h i.ivkii [MM-?
TUTT!J5,IMI.I S. I'1I?T.S
TUTT'a :~? 1*1' 1 *
TtiTT'5 t TITTT'H PII.I.S : l'Hili?
imtt'ii : nnnt: siuk. ukauaciib. ? riiii-s
Vl'TT'U ?.: Pll.I -
1 MTT's ?.: 1'IIjJ.S
Tl'TT-S ? TPITS XMI.I.S 5 IM 1.1 :S
TUTT'S : nr.quirk NO OHANt;K OF ; 1MI.1>
?rt'TT'.t ? I)iKT. : IMl.l.s
"l II T I 'S ?.: IM I I <
*4 11 TT'S :.: I' I 1.1 s
'I IITI'S : *Mn-|"N l>IJ.I.ta j I'll.i.S
'i S'TT'S ;ARK I't?i;i.l,V YKiiKI'Aftl.R.i pii.i.S
?rUTT'8 :. i P! I. I.-i
"h:tt :; ;.? imi.i.s
"1'1'TT'S ? Tl'rm 1MM.H : IM 1.1 S
"?HUT'S { NKVKK UJMt'R OU SAUSE- :
THrT'S : <? ATK. :. rn.i.fl
TUTT'S ? .?.: IMTjl.d
"IIITT'S j.: PILLS
*JUTT'H : Til t: OLM ANO KOU tutt'S: PILLS
TMJTT'R tPU.LS ia n?i imiltuwt in I hi.: i'lLLd
'I t'TT'S .eoiintre, bill .xtend. loall panel IMLLd
Ti'TT'S !?rIlm world; : pills
"TUTT'S i.: PILLS
TUTT'S ?. : ft I.L3
TUrT'S : A OLK A II ii KAD, eli.all? litnba.i PILLS
TUTT'S :t..Ml difll.tn, ?..und ?|?r| ; Pli.LJ
BUTT'S :Uuoy?nt aplilti, tin. np|i?ili<: IMI.I.S
TUTf'S ;ara ?um? of tlie re.?lt? of tm?: PILL1
TUTT'1 iueeof TUTT'S I'll.I.S. : PILLd
'I UTT'S :.: im LL.S
TUTT'S j.: PILLS
1UTT"s : AS A FAMILY MKIMl'tNK i pii.I.S
TUTT'S ? TUTT'S I'll.I,s AUK TUB: IMI.I.S
TUTT'S I ItKST? PKHKEUTLY iia KM- j IMI.I.S
TUTf'S : LESS. :' I'11.1.?
tutt'S j.: PILLS
?J UTT'S :.: PII.i.S
TUTT'S : Ml I) I VKIIYWIIKIIK. ? PILLS
TIUT'd \ PRICK, TWKS'ty-KIVK f'TR.J PILLS
TUTT'S :.i PILL?
TU ?fei :.: ''ILLS
TUrVs : IMtlXOIPALOKKIC'E : PILLS
1 UTT'S ? IS M .MCKAY ftTHF.KT, j PILLS
TUTT'S : AKW YOUK. : PILLS
TUTT'S :. ; PIL 1.0
EXPECTORANT.
This unrivaled prcpnraiiou hae prr
torined ^oine of the n.'.-t aKtoniidih ?_'
cures that are recorded in ihr annals oi
history. Patients sulVerti?*j f-.r yenr? fro'ti
? lie various disea.es of Hie Lunge., n ?
trying dift'erent remc.dies, spcmlin^ ihr.-r
m'ands of dollars in traveling and doctor
in0;, have, by the use of a few bottles.
entirely recovered their health.
"WON'T 60 TO FLOn.D?r"
If ow York, Autcust 30, lft"7U.
DR. TUTT:
User Bin?When In Alkcn, last winter, I used your
Bxpentorant for my eotiRh. nnd renllTed nni-t> beneitt
from It than anything I evor took. Xmneowril I bat
I will not go to Floridn noxt winter r. I itvrn^ed.
Aond mo ono dozen bottlce. by erpir.-. fir ar.n-e
frlenda. ALFHEI) CV?KlSO,
1ST We:it Thirty ?rrd S'rvet.
Doston. January 11, 1671.
Tbl? oertinee that I bnwo rc3omn.oniled Iba u?r of
Dr. Tutt's Expoetoritnt for dlsoaaea of 'he longa
for the paet two yenre, and to my knotvlcdco ninny
bottlee havo been uncd by my paticnto with tho hap
piest results. In two cases whorolt was thought con
firmed consumption bad takon place the Expnotorr.ct
?tTeotod a euro. It. H. BTItAQUB, M.P.
"We oan not spoak too highly of Dr.Tutt's Ex
psatorant, end for tho snkn of suffering humanity
tiope It may bcoomo more goncrally known."-Cunis
?IAK AnrOOATK.
flr.lt! by DritffRlBtfl. 1>rlco 81.00
May 6 1877 ly
tlioicc Breakfast Strips. Sold low
J down bv A. FISCHER.
OPIUM
end Morphine liahltrurcd.
Th.OrtRlnalan'l^al.'ahaolQle
CUBK. n?o3 .lamp for book on
Opium Katln*. to W. a. Sqnlro,
IrorlbbixkD, Orrsna Co.. lad.
spr'l 27 ly
"Bill Arp" Smokes thtf Pip? of
Peace.
Mr. KwrUK : I love to niect a
uab >r ami hoar Ii im say, "how's
craps?" I continuo to like farmin.
I like it better anil exsep that the
wheat is Biimwhat doulful about
makin a crap. A little long bug
will? a tail at both eends lias gut in i
the joints and sucked the 4tip out, and J
is fulliti down in patches. Looks like
there is ulwnys sumthiu preyin on
siimthin, and nuthin is safe from dis
aster in his subloonnry world. Flies
and hups and rust prey on the green
wheat. Wecvila cat it up when its
cut and put away. Hats cat the corn
?moles eat the guhors?hn> ks e t
tho chickens?-the minks killed three
of uiir ducks in one night?cholera
kills the hogs--and the other night
?ihe of lev nahors' mules cutnulonii I
i
with the blind staggers and loll up a
pair ol seven steps right into uiy
front i te and died without kickiu.
Then tnerc is briars and nettles and
tread safts and smart-weed and piscn ?
mil- ami Spanish needles and cmkle
bunt: and dug fennel and snakes,
thins always in the way ou a farm
and must he looked aJler keerfully,
especially makes, which arc my eter
nal horror, and 1 shall always believe
nie sum kin to the devil himself. I
can'i tolerate such long insects. But
we farmers hav tu take the bad with
the good, and there is more good than
had witli me up to the present time.
My corn begins to look splendid.
These warm nights it grows while I
am uslcej?just like the intrust on
them darn little just debts you owo?
excuse me, Mr. Editor, 1 don't know
for sei tin that you owe any, but it's a
reasonable presumption, consideriu
your business, and its no disgrace, no
how. Most everybody owes em from
the Uni" cd States of America down
to the umblest individuals of which
last I am whom. I look upon it as
a charitable act to borrow from a
man who Iiub a surplus. I think a
heap of Governor dames and Gen.
Austell, and all such, and it would
greve me to hav their money got
musty and would rust and rot fo r
lack of borrowers. I sometimes take
a little just to encourage 'cm, for they
are human beings, and just as much
entitled to a liyin' as the best of us.
Mr. Editor, it's a great comfort
to me to set in my piazzer. these
ploascnt evenings and look over the
farm, and smoke the pipe of peace,
aud ruminate. Ruminate upon the
rise and fall of empires ami parties
and presidents aud preachers. I
think when a mail has passed the
Kubicou of life, and seen his share of
trouble, smokin' i.? allowable, for it
kinder reconciles him to live on a
while longer, and promotes philosufic
reflection. I never know'd a high
tempered man to be fond of it. Old
Aunt Patience told me she had been
smokin' for 50 years, and I heard her
advisin' Mrs. Arp to try it awhile,
for, sez she, "missus, it makes a body
so quiet and peaccaable." But my
wife, you know, was raised a Metho
dist, and they are foment it. Just
like other denominations they make
a close run on sum things, and o n
others a little loose in the socket.
I'm now 'Hviu'in a Methodist sittle
mcnt, right under tho dripplus of
Dr. Felton'8 chapel, and they are a
good people around me, and I've
been wonderin how the doctor kept
cm all so strait while he was bo far
away. It does look like a pity to
see his meetin house closed every
Sunday, and maybe when he comes
home again, a kind Providence will
con elude to let him abide with his
flock. But then, on the other hand,
it may be more important for tho
doctor to line his influence with tho
rascals at Washington to keep them
from stealin and lyin, aud at the
same time attend to our political in
trust and continuo to send us reliable
gardin seed, and it may bo all for the
best. The good Lord knows I don't.
Therefore I haven't made up my
mind about sending him back again.
You Bee there iB Gen. Woflbrd, who
is uiy friend, aud ho niout want to
go, nod l?e built a finer meetin' house
thau anybody, and anybody is wel
come to preach in it who is heavenly
minded and a good democrat. The
general is no preacher, hut (hen ho
can run the camp while the doctor is
ruunin the cioss. Then there is my
friend Gua Wtight, and ho mout
want to go. He aint got any meeting
iiouse of his own, but then he preach
es all mound generally, and dips 'em
and washes the saints' feet, and so
forth. He was a general, too, and
can run the cainp and the cross both,
and 1 alwavs wondered w hy he did
ent build him a siunygog or suinth
ing. 1 lilce to see every man worked
up to the full measure of his capaci
ty. You see the preachers and the
soldiers have got the country sorter
in a swing; and no other sort needn't
run for office till the swing wears out.
Nobody ueeden't try to get in on the
eternal principles ot thtt Jeiferjotliau
democracy. Therefore, if we hav got
to take 'cm, lets take the very best
we can get.
Mr. Editar, I read the other day
j that there was thirty seven pre toll -.rs
I in Congress, and they was all Metho
dists and Baptists, and it diden't look
exactly fair to me. Cant we have a
few Presbyterians and Episcopalian-*
sent on just to keep the scales on a
balance? But then they couldcnt go,
lor their churches won't let 'em. I've
ruminated a power over these things,
and aint hide bound about it neither,
for my dot trine is not to fuss about
what you cant help. I recken its as
proper for a soldier of the cross to go
to Congress as a soldier of the camp,
and them two sorts seem to be a
gaining ground among the people
every day. I wonder if a soldier of
the cradle will ever stand any chance ?
Solomou said if a man had his quiver
full of children he should staud i n
the gates, or words to that efTect a nd
Solomon was a smart man, but it
looks now a days 1'iKe a poor feller
with ten or a dozen didnt hav muh
time to stand arcuud a gate or swing
on it either. But I forbear for fclrf
present.
Yours truly, BILL ARP.
P. S.?Ax Harris if he can tell
why a hop vine winds round a pole
with the sun, and a bean vine climbs
it the other way ? He never ans
wered my first conundrum yet, and,
in my opinion, he's busted.
N. B.?Take notice.?I had a
sick mule y esterduy, and seven men
cum along and told me what to do
for him, and so I givo him lie soap
and paragoric and salt and whisky
and buttermilk and molasses und
epson salts aud kerosene oil and lard
and bled him in the mouth aud rub
bed him with a rail and begot well.
Please ax H.tris what cured him.
B. A.
She Saw.
A tracky sort of a boy stood in
front of a house on Sproat street for
a hill quarter of an hour, geutly rub
bing his sore heel against the fence
pickets and thinking deeply, but
there was a well-counterfeited look
of alarm on his face as his vigorous
pull at the bell got the woman of the
house to the door.
'What is it ?' she asked as he look
c 1 this way and that and danced
around.
'Put down yer winders?bollyer
doors?yard all full of lions !' he ro
plied as ho skipped for the gate.
She uttered a little scream and
disappeared, and for half an hour
that house was as tightly colosed as
a post-offico box ou the upper tier.
Then the woman cautiously put her
head out, gazed around, grew bolder,
and finally appeared in the Jrant
yard. She looked about hor, her
chin trembling a little, but by de
grees a peculiar look stole over her
face.
'Yes?um?I sec!' she snapped as
she turned to go in. 'The boy saw
tiiose tiger-lilies and played a game
on me. Um?I see!'
I She never thought of dandelions.
! Thore are 30,000 French pooplo
in New York.
A Few Familiar Quotations.
Not Pound in tho Hildo, Slinksaparo,
Pope or Hudibras.
Music hath charms to soothe a
savage) breast.?Congreves Mourn
ing Brido.
Hell hath no fury like a woman
scorned.? lb.
How happy could I be with either
were 'tother dear charmer away.?
The Beggar's Opera.
.She walks the waters like a thing
of life.?Byron's Corsair.
Man's inhumanity to man makes
countless thousands mourn.? Burns.
Nursing her wrath to keep it warm.
? Hums Tarn O'Shnntor.
'Tis sweet to hear the watch-dog's
honest bark bay deop-tuouthed wel
come as wo draw near home.?Byrons
Don Juan.
Between two worlds life hovers
like a star upon the horizon' verge.
?lb.
'Tiadistance lends enchantment to
the view.?Campbell's Pleasures of
Hope.
Like angcles* visits, few and far
between.? lb.
His back to the field and his feet
to the foe.?Campbell.
Procrastination is the thief of time.
?Young's Night Tloughts.
A gilded halo hovering round
decay.?Byron's Giaour.
The thunder, conscious of the new
command, rumbles reluctant o'er our
fallen house.?Keat's Hyperion.
They also serve who only stand and
wait.?Milton.
The stern joy which warriors feel
in foemeu worthy of their steel.?
Scott's Lady of the Lake.
A little round, fat, oily mau of
God.?Thompson's Castle ofludol
enco.
His pity gave ere charity began.
?Goldsmith's Deserted Village.
Even his failings leaued to virtue's
side.?lb.
To party give up what was meant
^Mgj mankind.?Goldsmith's Retalia
tion. (|
To point a moral or adoru a tale.
?Johnson's Vanity of Human
Wishes.
A little bench of needless Bishops
here, and there a chancellor in em
bryo.?Shenstono's Schoolmistress.
Made a sunshine in the shady
place.?Spencer's Fairie Queen.
Airy tongues that syllable men's
names.?Milton's Mask of Comus.
As idle as a painted ship upon a
painted ocean.?Coleridge's Ancient
Mariner.
Love, the faith whose martyrs are
the broken heart.?Byron's Childe
Harold.
God tempers the wind to the shorn
I lamb.?Sterue's Sentimental Jour
ney.
A thing of beauty is a joy forever.
?Keat's Endymiou.
A flower of meakness on a stem of
grace.?Montgomery's World Before
the Flood.
'Tis not in mortals to command
sucoess; we'll do more, deaervo it.?
Addisou's Cato.
Like Dead Sea fruit that tempts
the eye but turus to ash js on the lips.
?Moore's Lalla Rookh.
Just prophet, let the damned one
dwell full in the sight of Paradise,
beholding heaven, aud fearing hell.
?lb.
Coming events casts their shadows
before.?Cnmpbell
All went merry ns a marriage bell.
?Byron's Childe Harold.
Where youth and pleasure meet to
chase the glowing hours with flying
feet? lb.
One of the growing fashions in
Paris and Vienna is pneumatic
clocks. Air is compressed into a
central reservoir, from which pipes
aro carried and laid down to any
number of houses, and attached to the
clocks; tho pendulum roloases the
same measure of air uniformly which
moves tho clock-work, so that tirao
is 'laid ou' similar to wator aud gas.
The soil of India produces no less
than seventy-seven different varieties
of rice..
The Good Grandfather.
The other day, when a good citizen
wanted s nie repairs to Iiis boots, and
stepped into a small shoemaker's shop
on Antonio stroot, he was greatly
astonished to see a hoy about five
years old playing with a revolver,
while the old shoemaker pounded
away at his pegs as contentedly as if
Colonel Colt never existed.
'Is that revolver loaded?' as'^ed the
customer, as be hesitated about sit
ting down.
'Yaas, I 'spose so,' replied the old
I man, 'but Johnny wouldn't hurt bis
nice old grandfather, would you,
J oh nny ?'
?Noap.' briefly answered the boy,
as he poked a stick into the muzzle
of the weapon
I 'But be may shoot me!' exclaimed
the customer, backing off.
'Oh, no, he wont! 1-itlle Johnny
wouldn't shoot the gentleman, would
bo?'
?Noap,' was the soft reply, as the
boy blow down the muzzle.
'I'm bis grandfather,' remarked the
old man as the stranger sat down on
nit: eilgc in u < u.M. linn BlOWiy pUHOG
at his boot. 'Some grandfathers
don't like children, but I enc't get
aloiiLr without 'em. lie's a noble
youth, that boy is, and I don't, beli
eve you could hire him to shoot me
lor fifty dollars in cash?could he,
Johnny ?'
'Noap,' whispered the boy, who was
now laying out. all his strength in an
ellbrt to cock the weapon.
The old man put a piece of leather
to soak, and had just received tho
boot, when bang ! went the revolver,
and the whitewash flew from the ceil
ing above.
'Give me that boot?give me that
boot!' yelled the man as he grabbed
it and started for the door.
'It wa? nothing?nobody hurt?
come back!' called the old man, fol
lowing after.
'You ought to be horse-whipped
for allowing" such a thing !' shouted
the man 113 he hobbled to a box to sit
down and pull on his boot.
?No, I hadn't?no, Ihadn't,' pro
tested grandfather, still following.
'Johnny said he wouldn't hurt you,
and ho didn't. He's a noble youth,
that boy is, aud you cau depend on
what he Bays. Come in?there's no
danger.'
Johnny appeared at the door at
that moment, wiping the smoke out
of the barrel with*his wet finger, aud
the old man appealingly said :
'Johnny, tell this gentleman that
you won't accidentally shoot him :
You wouldu't hurt him for all the j
candy in town, would you?'
'Noap,' softly replied the lad asi he
hauled out his finger and wiped tho
grim on his knee, but the man rush
ed off ns fast us he could go. Some
men are just that obstinate.?Detroit
Free Pres?.
A Humorist's Dinner.
'Twenty minutes for dinner,' shou
ted tho brakeman, as we approached
Lathrop.
Arrived there, I entered the dining
room and enquired of the waiter:
'What do you have for dinner?*
'Twenty minutes,' was the reply.
I told him I would try half-a-dozen
minutes raw on the half-shell, just to
sec how they wont. Told him to mako
a minute of it on his books. He
scratched his head, trying to compre
hend the order, but gave it up, aud
waited upon some ono else.
I approached a man who stood
near tho door with a lot of silver in
his hand : 'What do you hnvo for
dinner?'
'Haifa dollar,' says he.
I told him I would tako half a dol
lar well dono' I asked him if he
couldn't givo mc, in addition, a boiled
pocket-book atufled with grcoubacks,
aud [some Beven-thirties garnished
with pounce-stamps and ton-cont
scrip. And I would liko to wash my
dinner down with national bauk
no tos on 'draft.'
He said they were out of every
?at*
tiling but the bank notes, aud that
as soon as the train left be would
order the waiter to 'draw's?mo.
A Quickened Conscience.
During a lull in the eon venation
yesterday evening, grandfather
Lickshingle startled the family by
remarking:
'I'vo lived over a hundred years by
the watch, and never felt this way
before,' and be blinked in a very sor
rowful manner.
'What's tfce matter ?' asked mother,
who was at bis side in an instant.
'I don't know,' he said, 'unless I
have a quickened conscience,' and ho
blinked and stared by turns in a very
alarmi.ig manner.
'I feel sort o' hot around the cars,'
he went on, 'an' mebbe I'd better con
fess.'
His whole frame trembled like a
leaf, and a deadly pallor ovorspread
his face. A window was thrown op
en, which seemed to revive him, and
he gapped:
'I wrote'Beautiful Snow!'
'You did nothing of the sort,' yell
ed father; 'I wrote it myself, and I
can prove it.'
Grandfather went on with his con
fession :
T killed old man Junius, and wrote
the Nathan letters! Bind up my
horse ! (Jive mo another wouud !'
Another window was opened. Sum
moning his strength agaiu he whis
[ ercd :
'It was I who struck Billy Patter
son? struck him twice; once for a V,
next time for a twenty.' and grand
father fell back in his char exhaus
ted.
The ?'ngine Snored.
There was an old couple iu a s'eop
ing car on the Canada Southern the
other oveuing, who, in due time, re
tired to a berth. About five minutes
afterwards a soul-stiriug snore bro^o
upon the ears of all present. It p r
ceeded from the old gentleman. _....
Mjohn !' cried the oh*g^0| an I.jJbHI
doubt, nudging hiinT ?'
?What's the mater?' asked John,
sleepily. . .
'Stop your snoring,' said his wife.
'Snorin'!' cried the old man indig
nantly; 'never did such a thing in my
life.'
Off he went to sleep again, and in
a little while the snoring recomnion
ced with redoubled vigor.
Once more the wife awoke him.
'Do stop that snoring, Johu,' she
remarked pleadingly.
?'Taint me, 'tis the engine,' said he
testily; 'never snored in all my born
days.' And although ho was awak*
eued some eighteeu tidies during the
night, his only answer waa : "Taint
me, 'tis the engine;' and judging from
the inaguificeut p;oportions of his
snore, the old man might have be'u
rieht.
'Girls,' said a worth}' old lady to
her granddaughters, 'whenever a fel
low pops the question don't blush and
stare at your foot. Just throw your
arms around his neck, look him full
in the face, and commence talking
about the furniture. Young fellows
are mighty nervous sometimes. I
lost several good chances before I
caught your fond, dear grandfather
by putting airs, but I learned how tQ
do it after a white.'
Eighteen families iu New York
count up ?240,000,000 among them.
A halibut was caught off Block
Island tho other day that weighed
e?f>2 pounds.
Leipsic is to havo a new opera
house, and ?150,000 have already
beeu subscribed toward its creation*
Boston has 855 lawyers and law?
yers' firms, 167 merchants and mer
cantile firms, and 625 liquor dealers.
Mrs. Byram, a cattle farmer in
Illinois, look premiums amounting to
SI,150 at agricultural fairs last fall.
A poultry export iuforms the.
Maine Fanner that tho best way to
prevent hens eating their eggs?Is to
cat the hens.
