Newspaper Page Text
THE M'COOK TEIBUNE ,
FACTS ASD JFANIOES.
Helena , Montana , is to have a min
Baked apples are finding more favo
on .fashionable breakfast tables.
Buffalo , with 225,000 people , has
250 patrolmen , and wants 100 more.
Agnes Harn , a colored woman , ol
Arlington , Ark. , is gradually turu"u °
Extensive experiments in growint :
tobacco and rice are to bo made in
"Tularo , Cal. , the coming season.
During the past season tho height oi
Iho Mormon temple of Salt Lake City
has been increased by sixteen course.1
The best way to stop brcach-of-
promise suits is for tho girls not lo
consider themselves engaged uutij
they are married.
A curiosity at Allentown , Pa. , is a
melon vino growing in a melon. In
the heart a seed burst its shell , and a
ininuto vine in full leaf is visible.
A graduate of a theological seminary
in New York has been refused a license
to preach because he lived too expen
sively and dressed too fashionably.
Tho young man who quotes "Love
is enough * ' to his girl never saw dry
goods bills "her father foots , and is un
acquainted with , her capacity for beej
It is related of a California legisla
tor that in 1869 he received S75.0JO
for his voto , which was needed to pass
a measure important to tho Central
and Union Pacific roads.
Two men and a woman were thrown
down the stairs of The Missoula ( Mon
tana ) Times office the other day.
They had called on the editor for sat
isfaction with a cowhide.
A fashion item startles us with the
information that "all the mantles are
ahort except those that are very long. "
We supposed "that all mantles were
long except those that are short.
Dio Lewis says that for thirty years
he has worn an ordinary silk hat with
nearly thiee hundred holes through
tho top. Ho says the ventilation is
perfect and his hair is perfect.
The latest innovation in hat lining
is a map of the city printed on silk , so
that any stranger or gay young fellow
may Cud his way home. It will bo ne
cessary , however , to put a compass in.
Manitoba is fillipg up with people.
The number of schools there in 1871
was 16 , in 1881 it was 128 , and in 183i
it reached 359. Tho school attendance
was 816 in 1871 , 4,919 in 1881 , and 13-
G41 in 1881.
A mild journalist expresses sur
prise that no woman has yet appeared
as the editor of a successful daily
newspaper. It is because her femi
nine instinct leads her to use the scis
sors too much.
In Butle county , California , several
fields of sugar-cane have been cultiva
ted and are in a flourishing condition.
\VitL a favorable season it is believed
that tho culture of sugar-cams would
be very profitable.
f "My dear , " asked Mrs. Mullethead ,
looking down the market report ,
"what : s meant by the expression than
-wheat is heavy ? " "I can't imagine , "
, lie growled ungraciously , "unless it
-refers to a loaf of your bread. "
" * \ The Lad.es' Monument association
ofKichmond , Va. , have nearly ac
cumulated funds sufficient for a statue
and monument for Gen. Lee and have
advertised for competitive designs.
The monument will cost about $200-
"Have you read the 'Descent of
Mun ? ' " asked Clara , looking over the
book shelves. "No , " said George , a
" ' for it but
little timidly ; "don't care ;
I'd like to get the assent of woman. "
It is currently reported that he got it
the very next Sunday night
A darkey in Prince Edward county ,
Virginia , ascribes Gen. Lee's election
lo the fact that ho carried charms. He
savs he "seed 'em. " When asked
what the charms were , ho said
the left hind foot ofa grave
yard rabbit , a vial of stump water , and
u coon bone loolhpick.
A "notice" worded as follows is said
to appear on the door of a well-known
business office : "Tho hours of attend
ance inthis office are : To canvassers for
church subscriptions. 10 to 2 ; book and
insurance agents 2. to 4 ; commercial
travelers , beggars , and advertising
men all day. Wo attend to our busi
ness at night. "
The prollibitionists of Atlanta were
victimized in the late election to the
extent of $1,000-or more. They of-
fcred to pay the taxes of every negrc
who would vote for prohibition. On
election day two hundred negroes ,
anti-prohibitionists , disguised with
blue ribbons , were inarcheddown , and
received tax receipts , but when they
came to vote tho prohibitionists were
mad.The Weatern Druggist thinks that to
prevent the dispensing of morphine
for quine a strip ot steel should be
firmly rivited over the mouth of the
vial containing it , the neck being first
plugged with a torpedo so arranget
as to explode and shatter tho steo'
when tho poison la taken in hand. H
the clerk survives he will know that
tho shook meant morphine.
SliVrme JlLo chlljnm with tbelr garments
All the comely leaves of Ihclr rnindncsj sliorn ,
Crouched in the ! le ( died mid shudd'rlug grass ,
1 find them to day as I Idly pas , ' ,
Blue cntmt e.
Ch'ldren ot frost of winds snow-kissed ,
Nurtured In travail In sleet and mif t ,
Budd'ns and blowing In the chilling rain ,
With l.tt'e of gladucss and much of palu ,
Poor gcutiaus !
[ n pity I hnd and gather each one ,
And bold thm up to iho pitying BUD ,
To give them a glimpse of a fairer day ,
Before they shall droop in their qu.ck way ,
And I hold them close to my eager face ,
And the tender lines of their being trace ,
And I count their gomluess to conic so late ,
When no flower is left lo be their mate ,
TLough tbc year of my life wane drenr and
cold , ,
tfay this k'ndness be left , its hand ? lo hold ,
Timt some/loner of love as a tender sign
Hay bloom as a token of summer time ,
S. / ? . ITcJTanus , in The Current.
There were two other ladies at the
table with me a mother and daughter
wealthy people , as 1 supposed ; and
; ho girl was the most exquisitely pret-
; y creature I had ever seen. She was
so tall , so slim , so round , with such a
'air , frank brow , such shining brown
eyes , almost startlingly dark , with her
> right hair and fair complexion ; such
a sweet mouth , such dimples , my
aeart seemed to go out to her at once.
And she was so charmed with every
thing , so full of bright chatter.
Her mother was a great contrast ;
she was a little , plaintive , aggrieved-
coking person one of those people
who , I think , take a kind of pleasure
n being unhappy.
And there was an odd looking man
a very odd looking man somehow
tall and largely made , with a rugged ,
air face , very wide open blue eyes ,
and aline head , held very high. Some-
low ho was not like the usual run of
our visitors , and strangest of all , he
jrought in a dog with him a hand
some pug , if any pug can be called
landsonie who preceded his master
up the room , his wrinkled nose suifling
; he air and his crooked eyes looking
u every corner.
I looked at my pretty girl. Her
'ace was all dimpled and flushed.
"The dear old doggie. Do let me
lold him for a little while ; I am so
'ond of dogs. "
Her mother moved uneasily and pro
f'Ahcc , dear. "
The stranger turned and looked at
"Thank you so much , " he said.
Do you really like dogs ? Most ladies
are afraid of Jack. "
* * v * * n
"Some day , some day , some da } ' , we
hall meet , " Miss Verinder sang. I
remember just how she looked. I
ould not wonder at the passionate ad-
niratlon in the jouug men's eyes.
) Id woman as I was , I found her a
> leasaat sight.
"A sweet voice and a sweet face , "
aid some one beside me. It was our
neighbor at dinner. He had come
oflty across tho room , holding his
log's lash. Ho stood a moment by
me , and then he sat down behind the
) iano , took his dog on his lap , and
hrew back his great head , listening
vith evident enjoyment lo the music.
I thought again what a strange look-
ng man he was. Miss Verinder
inished her song and turned round
vith all the pretty light on her face ,
le crossed over then and thanked her ,
vhilc the young man looked rather
.uperciliously . at him.
"J felt sure you had a singing face , "
ic said. "Are you well off for music
icre ? "
"Xot very , " she lold him , and then
jhe asked if he played.
"Yes , " he said ; "it is almost the
snly solace I have. " He paused a
moment and then went on in such a
low , hopeless kind of voice , "I am al
most blind. "
"Oh ! I am sorry. "
Poor man ! I thought it ought to be
kind of compensation to see the
sweet tenderness of the bright young
face , to hear the soft pity of her voice.
Ho said something I did not catch
what it was and then sat down to the
Play ! I should think he did play.
Never had there been such music
brought out of our piano. A great
hush fell upon the room. Even those
who did not care for music for its own
Bake were silent from astonishment.
As for Mr. Gorst himself , the mus'c
seemed lo Iransform him. He shook
back his hair , and his grave plain face
"Jack , " sitting at his feet kept his
eyes steadily fixed upon him , as if he
understood it all ; and as for Miss Ve-
rindor , the pretty color grew brighter
in her cheeks , and her eyes shone.
She was passionately fond of music.
"Odd man ! Don't 3-011 think so ?
very , " whispered Mrs. Colquhouu
the greatest gossip in Ihe house to
me. "Not a gentleman , decidedly ;
actor , I should think ; professional ,
certainly. Dreadful flirt that girl is ,
to be sure. Do you admire her ? No ,
surely not. "
1 held up my hand to silence her ,
1 did not like Mrs. Colquhoun. I
knew her mischief-making tongue of
old , and I had caught ft flash from
Alice Verinder's soft eyes.
Mr. Gorst was going to sing for us.
As he played tho first bars of The
Message , Jack gave a kind of
vHe is wonderfully fond of sing-
inging , " his master explained with
Clearly I thought ho was n
thorough old bachelor , and his dog
was wife and child to him.
Well , I have heard many fine
voices , but never one , I think , like
Mr. Gorst's. As tho passionate ,
beautiful words of . "The Message"
rang out , I felt my very heart stirred
A great hush fell upon tho room as
ho finished. One could well believe
such a voice would "pass through the
golden gale. " I saw a strange moved
expression on Mr. Hardynge's face ,
the quiet old bachelor I have men
tioned before ; and as for Miss Ver
inder , I did not like to look at her ; I
knew that there were tears in her
'bright young eye ? .
And after "Tho Message" he gave
us "For Ever and For Ever , " and "The
Distant Shore. " Ho would have sung
all night , I think , if tho loud clang
of the tea bell had not sounded out ,
bringing us all back to the world
He diopped his hands from the
keys quite startled.
"Oh ! it's only the tea bell. Are we
expected to eat again ? ButI have in
flicted myself upon you. "
"I could listen forever , " said the
girl , with that soft lovely light still on
I am a foolish old woman , I know ;
but I caught myself hoping he was not
too blind to see it.
"Miss Verinder , will you not let me
get yon some tea ? " broke in the Cam
bridge man , Mr. Hoare , as I found out
his name was. He had been watching
the changes in the girl's face all
through the singing.
Well , he was old enough to bo her
father , and he was almost blind , and
was grave and odd-looking besides ,
while she was the sweetest , freshest
bit of womanhood. Young even for
her twenty years. ' And yet somehow
those two , Mr. Gorset and Alice Vcr-
iuder , wore drawn lo each other from
that very first night , I think. Perhaps
it was Jack , perhaps it was the music ,
or that child's sweet womanly heart
was moved to pity the lonely afflicted
man. She was so watchful of him at
meal times , would try in her pretty
way to interest him , to drive the shad
ows from his face ; would pay him
such sweet deference. Ho was al-
as quiet , always silent and reserved.
It did not seem to me that he took
much notice of what would have rais
ed a young man to the seventh heaven
of happiness. I came on them one
morning out among tho flowers ho
walking up and down slowly and care
fully ; as an almost blind man does ,
sho springing out in her joy
ous way , gown all milled with
embroidery , a wide hat shading
her sweet face , the sunlight on
the mass of crisp hair beneath.
They said "Good morning * ' to each
other , and then she spoke lo Ihe dog.
Between her two admirers Miss
Veriuder ought to have acquired much
useful information during that sweet
summer holiday. Young Hoare took
possession of her at once. I heard
her blithe laugh as she answered some
remark of his. They made a hand
some couple , I.thought ; sho so fair
and slim , he so tall and dark and
broad shouldered , and both with that
wonderful light of youth on their
"Ho is a handsome fellow , " Mr.
Gorst said ; and I knew he had divined
my though Is. He was wonderfully
sharp for all his blindness.
I scarcely knew how long I had been
writing. It was a letter to a dear old
friend of mine , and I had for a little
while forgotten my surroundings ,
when Mrs. Colquhoun's wearisome
voice forced itself on my attention.
She had exhausted her newspaper ,
and Mrs. Verinder having just come
in , she had a thrilling piece of gossip
to unfold to her.
"Quile shocking , Mrs. Verinder ! I
was so frightened I could not sleep
again. Mr. Gorst , you know , he came
down the corridor last night perfectly
drunk , stumbling over everything.
He tried to burst into my room , but
fortunately I always keep the door
locked ; and he felt about tho room
and talked to himself half the night.
Quite shocking , is it not ? These pro
fessional sort of people are always
unsteady , and being blind seem to
make it so much worse. Kealty , Mrs.
Verinder , don't you think we ladies
ought to take some steps to show what
we think of such conduct ? "
Mrs. Verinder made some feeble
sound of horror. I was too petrified
to say anything.
If this was a story , it was rather a
worse one than usual ; if it was true
But what was tlrs indignant young
figure that started up from my side ?
"It is not true , mother I am sure
it is not true. Oh , it is a shame , to
tell such stories of anyone ! 3fr. Gorst
is a gentleman ; he would scorn to do
such things. Oh , itis cruel ! . People
ought to spare him , at least ! "
Tho child looked transformed , her
cheeks blazing , her brown eyes spark
"Alice , Alice ! said her mother.
"It is the injustice of it , mother-
that is what I mind. "
Mrs. Colquhoun was straightening
her spectacles and looking up at Iho
indignant girl with a mal cious smile.
1 knew what a story she would
make of this , and though I could not
but admire Alice's generous cham
pionship , I felt sorry she could have
drawn this woman's unscrupulous
tongue upon her.--
She was still standing there with
her f rlj young figure drawn no. and
her scornful face , and Mrs. Colquhoun
had just opened her lips for a crush
ing retort , when behold standing
amongst us Mr. Gorst himself , per
fectly calm and unmoved to all out
Had-a thunderbolt fallen amongst
as we could not have looked more as
tonished. Mr.s. Colquhoun's face
flushed crimson , as well it might.
Poor , pretty Alice grew snow white ,
and all the lire went out of her eyes.
"I can not thank you sufficiently ,
Miss Verinder , " ho said , "for taking
the trouble to defend mo. Pray let
mo apologize. " he went on then to
Mrs. Colquhoun , "for having uninten
tionally heard so much about myself.
1 was writing letters in the other bay ,
and had no intention of listening when
my own name caught my ear. It is a
fulfilment of tho old proverb ; but I
have no doubt you will be greatly
pleased to hear you have made a most
uufortunote mistake. My room was
changed last night ; the gas was not
lit ; my luggage was all about in the
middle of the floor. In my half or
three-quarters blind condition , I cer
tainly did stumble a good deal about ,
and had to speak a good deal to my
dog through the night ; he is always
restless in strange quarters. As for
being drunk , I have been a water
drinker all my life. I must express
my regret for having so disturbed your
rest , but I am. sure your distress of
mind last night must le more than
compensated this morning by your re
lief at finding out I am not such a de
praved character as you had feared. "
* * * *
It was a very narrow path , just
room for two people to walk very
close together , consequently , I sup
pose , it was called the"Lover's Walk. "
There were seals at intervals , and it
had many unexpected turns and
twists , as it wound round the hill.
Coming suddenly round one of these
sharp corners , what or rather , who
did 1 see just in front of me only a
few yards away ! Alice Verimter and
Mr. Gorst , and he was holding both
her hands in his , and bending over
her the inevitable "Jack" sitting be
side them , his foolish tongue hanging
out , his leash lying unregarded on
tho damp ground , an express'on on
Ins face as if he would say , "this is a
nice piece of bus'nes * . " Well , I take
great credit to myself , I neither start
ed nor screamed ; luckily neither of
them had seen me , and I turned
swiftly round the way I had come , hur
ried round the corner , almost ran the
whole way home , never stopping for
breath until I found myself safe in
my own room , where I sat down to
think over what I had seen.
It was an hour or two later , and I
was still sitting in my room , but
ready dressed for dinuer , waiting for
tho bell to ring , \ \ lion there was a
little tap at my door and Alice entered
radiant , blushing , happy. I remem
ber just how she looked , in a pretty
dress of some shining green stuff ,
she always dressed so prettily , with a
square cut bodice and elbow sleeves
showing her fair , round arms , a bunch
of white roses in the lace of her
bosom. She stood looking at mo for
a moment , and then she closed the
door and crossed the room swiftly ,
and came and knelt beside me.
"I saw you to day , " she said softly ,
"and you turned back because you
saw us. "
How can I describe the sweet radi
ant light in her face ? I bent down
and kissed her.
"My dear , " I said to her , "are you
sure of yourself ? Do you really love
him ? " But there was no need of an
answer , I could road it in her eyes.
"Oh ! Miss Brown , I am so happy , so
happy. Do yon think , " she said then
with a little wistful trouble in her
sweet faee"thatlwill . be able to make
him happy , that 1 can help to make tip
to him for all his troubles ? "
"My dear , " 1 told her , stroking her
bright hair , and feeling tears not far
from my foolish old eyes , "you will
make him tho happiest man in Eng
"And only think he was going
away , and would never , never have
told me , if it was not for to-day , and
that horricd woman. Oh ! Miss Brown ,
I am a happy , happy girl. " HODK
.Message to Heaven.
A three-year-old "pet of the house'
some months a o lost Ins baby broth
er , and has missed him very uuiol ;
ever since ; he was told when , the
child died it had gone to heaven. Re
cently , when death was again hover
ing over the same household , tho fol
lowing conversation took place :
Child Grandma , you're going tc
heaven soon , ain't you ? Grandma-
Yes , dear , 1 hope soon. Child Well ,
then , grandma , when , you get there
you'll send home Gcorgie , won't you1
Lad ml a i.i EnKl.mil are ccuains : to pay
How the "Pulllns Pigs of the Sea" are Snc-
, cessfully Captured.
The only firm engaged in porpoise
hunting as a business in the known
world is tho firm of Cookc & Sparks ,
of Capo May and Philadelphia , by
whom the skin of tho big fish are tan
ned into leather in this city.
Until within a few years it was as
serted that tho porpoise could never
b > captured. It is an amphibious an
imal and belongs to tho mammals ,
suckling its young like the cow. Por
poise hunting was begun at Cape May
two years ago , but the company failed
having lost two steamers in conse
quence of tho strength of the tides
there , old wrecks lying around , and
other causes. After that the present
company was started , and its opera
tions are confined to tho Southern sea
board. "We only fish in tho winter
time , " said Mr. George L. Sparks , one
of the firm to a News gatherer yester
day : "Porpoises are warm blooded.
They come north in tho summer and
stay south in the winter. Our fishery
is oil * Cape Hatteras , situated between
the shoals and the inlet.Vo have an
immense seine , or net , which wo had
patented. It is one mile and a half
long and twenty-four feet deep. It is
made of 42-thread cotton-tarred
- - mar-
lino. We employ eighty men. Tho
seine is pulled in by hand. I have
seen 250 porpoises in the net at one
time , but when it was brought ashore
only twenty-five fish were secured.
They often plunge clean through tho
seine. They weigh from 400 to 1,200
pounds , and to see a school of them in
the not plunging , snortlmg and mak
ing a peculiar whistling noise is a
grand sight. Porpoise die either by
drowning or for the want of their na
tive element within two hours after
we laud them. We generally har
poon them with a long steel prong , on
the end of a pole , which tho "tar-
heels" call a "killer. "
The porpoises are then skinned very
deftly , in pretty much the same way
as a hog is dressed. In fact their na
ture is about the same as swine ; the
sailors calling them "pulling pigs. "
Last year we attempted and succeeded
in curing and smoking the meat just
the same as dried beef , and sold 25,000
pounds of it. The meat is considered
a elelicac3r in Europe , "fit for the royal
table. " It resembles venison in taste ,
and in texture is lino , tender and not
thready. We remove all the fat and
bone before curing it. The fat or
blubber which is attached to tho skin
is rendered into oil. This is called ,
body oil and is used as a lubricator in
tanning and for machinery There is
a valuable oil distilled from the mar
row of the jaw bone called "porpoise
jaw oil , " which is used for line watches
anil the most delicate kind of machin
ery. About four ounces of this oil are
fourd in the average porpoise. It is
very expensive , and worth about § 60
The skins of tho porpoise , the aver
age length of which aie ten feet , arc
dry salted , packed and brought to this
c.ty , where they undergo the tanning
process , which requires about seven
mouths before being fit for the mar
ket. We spoiled hundreds of skins be
fore we succeeded in tanning them
properly. There was , in fact , "but one
man in this country who knew the
secret , lie wanted § 10,000 for it ,
which wo would not pay , and by a
series of experiments we have succeed
ed in producing a splendid water
proof , fine grained leather , far better ,
finer and more durable than French
calfskin. Here's a pair of shoes 1 have
worn for a year , " said Mr. Sparks ,
and there's not a break in them. The
ordinary calfskin can be tanned by
feome processes in four weeks. The
bone of the porpoise is used as a fer
tilizer , and the fins are boiled up into
"Tho porpoise , it must be remem
bered , is one of the most voracious
destroyers of food fishes that swims
in Ihe sea. A good , healthy porpoise ,
with an unimpaired appetite , will eat
100 mackerel a day. It thus reduces
the supply of that lish for our mar
kets , and , of course , enhances the
"The big trap seine to catch the
porpoises was invented by John A.
Cooke , one of the firm. It has a great
opening in tho center leading into a
big trap. The highest number ever
caught at one haul was 120. We have
captured thus far 2,108 , and expect to
go at it again on the 1st of the com
ing month. The men who handle the
great seine are a hardy race of North
Carolinians , inhabiting tho sandv
slrelch on Cape Hatteras. The seine
is put into tho ocean from the beach
just as soon as a school of fish is sight
ed. It is laid right across their track.
In a little while the animals are in the
meshes and beating against the wall
of the knotted twine. The fishermen
then plunge in the sea up to their
necks , and amid-'t the furious : Kid
powerful lashing of the waters the
porpoises are hauled in and safely
landed on Iho Leach.
Many C5cape before the shore end
of the net can be got in'oshoal water ,
but none of them leap over tiie top , as
was supposed they would do. The
people we employ are water-locked ,
isolated from civilization , hardy and
brave and of tender natures. They
are extremely hospitable , but their
ways and customs are of a hundred
years ago. They dress in primitive
and picturesque garb , are apparently
nappy and care nothing
In addition to tbo new industry of
catching the purpoise , tanning his
hide and selling his oil , tho firm has
started a shoo manufactory in Phila
delphia , where tho hides of tho "pigs
of tho sea" are turned into wearing
apparel for the feet "Porpoise leath
er shoes , " said Mr. Sparks , "bid fair
to take tho place of French en Jkin |
shoes. Years ago , In Engalnd , when I
an occasional porpoise skin would find
its way into the tan yard and thonco
into tho shoemaker's shop , a pair of
shoes therefrom was looked upon as a
curiosity and generally sold for a big
sum of money. Now they bring about
the same price as a fine French calf
skin shoo. Philadelphia Times.
An Athlete's Diet.
1 eat , and always have eaten since I
was a boy , a plenty of nourishing ,
generous food , and I am very wide in
my choice , eating as a rulo any good
food that tempts my appetite , and that
is hearty'enough to be easily tempted.
For myself I am not especially fond
of what you call made dishes , but pre
fer food"in its plainer forms. For
meats , I eat chioily mutton and beef ,
and " 1 use a good deal of bread , of
course being as careful as I can to get
the best. My own idea is that so long
as you have sound , sweet food , it
doesn't make much difference what
kind it is or how much you eat of it
I am very particular to eat slowly. I
eat three times a day. Breakfast is a ,
light or hearty meal , according to how
I feel about it at the same time.
Lunch in the middle of the day is al
ways light , and dinner at 6:30 or 7 is
the principal meal of tho day. I al
ways lake an hour for that. If I
haven't an hour to spare at dinner
time I put off dinner till 1 have the
time. I find , though , that aside from
meat and bread I must have plenty of
vegetables. No man can make any
kind of an athlete without eating
plenty of vegetables. I take all kinds ,
and pretty much of all fruit , too.
Fruits are good. A man can't stay
without that kind of food. lie has no
endurance. Yes , I'm Scotch , and I
believe in oatmeal , but 1 don't think
you ought to cat too much of it. I
have it at breakfast about throe times
a week. I am fond of milk , too , and
am especially careful to drink it slow
ly. It's excellent foot ! , but it's very
bad to drink it fast. And it isn't good
to take too much liquid at any time ,
especially at meals. I have a habit of
always drinking a glass of water when
I first get up spring water , if I can
get it. I don't exactly know why I do
it. I don't know that it is verv good
for mo. I guess it is because I like it.
There's no accounting for taste , 3011
know. Tea is my greatest stimulant.
I don't drink much eollee but i do
lake considerable tea black lea al
ways ; I never use green and I take
it with sugar and milk , and never take
it iced. I don't meun when E say it is
my greatest stimulant that I never
take any thingstronger. I very seldom
do , but sometimes , just before a race ,
for instance , if I need it , I take some
brandy ; no malt liquor. That's bad ,
especially lager. Lager is very bad.
In training ? Well , I make no differ
ence in my diet in training. I only
try to keen more regular hours , es
pecially in slc'epinir. And 1 take no
physic. Physio is bail always. Jn
training it's fatal. Wallace Hots in ( he
"Look here , young man , " said the
leader of Ihe choir to one of its mem
bers , "do you think that young wo r
man's hand is a lemon ? "
"IS'o , sir , " replied the blushing
' Well , 1 should judge so , by the wav
you are squeezing it. "
"Oh , that's a chestnut , and a mouldy
oue , too , " replied tho yoiinirmau , who
had recovered his equilibrium.
I consider such an act iudecorus , '
said the leader.
"Of course , it is in-do-chorus , and
nowhere else , " replied the youth. "I
know where I am. " Na'.iowtl Weekly.
Most Sentimental But True.
"Is it right to tell lies ? " asked a
Sunday-school teacher who had a clas ;
of small boys.
"No , sir , " responded everyone.
"Why isn't it right to tell lies ? "
"Coz you git licked for a-doin' it , "
came from a little fellow with a so're
back near the foot ot the class. Pitts
A Michigan Milk Punch.
"Yaw , " said the passenger from
Michigan , as he straightened up and
jammed the cork in and wiped his
lips , "yer right , stranger that's pnrtv
quick likker. It sarches out the riglit
suottarnal quick. It's right smart
lively likker , that is , but it can't hold
a candle to sonic milk punch I've had
on my farm out to tho oak clearings
near Jonesville. "
" 1 thought milk punch was a mild
drink ? "
"Mebbe 'tis tho way city folks makes
it ; mebbe 'tis. But 'fain't with us ;
no , siree. I wish it was. The last
time I milked that old black and white
cow of mine she up with her off leg and
gave the pail an' me a milk punch
that knocked both of us inter tho mid
dle of next week. " Chicago Herald.