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ST. JOHNS, APACHE CO.. ARIZONA, SEPTEMBER 12, 1912
gp,. . " , ;..- and Apache News- ;
: ?5y. .
f. to feel just as faee to come into this bank J
5 and ask questions about the advantages $
if ' of having a bank aceourit for the care jfj
;.g and protection of YOUR money as you jj
if would feel in going intony store, to ask
about the quality or pMcev-of a piece of &
. No matter how
Pretty cold these nightsi
Ir. Grant Hall who has.
vr ,11 is oh the improve.
, Eothlisberger wasiX a
F at Yernon for a "few days
veek. J J .
W. Wilson was in from the
ttrill this week withr twp big
sof ;umben v V
ujfusfe Mineer and so,a; ar6.
v,buFy these days hauling
lnlmtber from the mill. Mr.
M'wieei will soon commence to
his new house,: .
Pearl Ud a lr accompanied
!rs. Garl Pace iandi, baby and
Mils Emma Bonebrake, who has
be'e spending the summer with
Pfs. Udall's family, left today
fOFps Alnelesv California. Mrsf
Pace goes to join her' huslaghd
DiGarl Pace, who is studying.
osteopathy ana miss tumma. is
learning to her home there. j)r.
PeaTl Udail, ajftera shoit sojourn
in&os. Angeles, .will gp.Q 6rig-
laitfS, where sh4e will remain in-:
if bank account wI help you to tak feet-
5 ter care of iftlp you to accuntulate g
s fr , Si Itrhns, Jfeona
r . . - , . .
. . . . .' . . y. . ' .
small'your income a g
It see by mv paper that Dfck
Giotfons has bibke out in- print,
anflknow. tha &he readers , of
UUt3 XlIllXVrVJLL Will UIU
homing tljat will have another
erulption sobii Some of the old
timers, such as Dick, could tell
some mighty interesting things
about the early times in this netfk
of the wbodsr-som things, t.aj
miht make the younger buhc
realize tht it wa,s lip, to. jhem t p
I live up to standards, their iathdrs
has s,et. .Why- npt have a bunjh
''of letters from you Dick rigM
along this line. You might in
quire why the writer ftojbtclb
spmethl-ng of theort-himsek', b.Uf
that;isout of the question. Your
Uncle Zeke is a self-appoint
committee of one to make a spec
ial investigation and then kick
about :everyhihg under creatyi'gp
and iii;fiilliTig that posltson
has1its hahd just? about us ll
as they wi'il welljstand for Se-(ing'M"-':-"
J- ' '4
' Ainbfeer think t)i You ale
your Uncle Zeke's identity rest
if you please, Up here at Dry
Ceerk there is a general idea that
our town is just about perfect,
municipally, and a man i s risking
his7 life if he should criticise any
thing here. Consequently, I am
following the scriptural teaching
of 'hiding my light under a bush
el', and incidentally, I am fol
lowing;the first law of nature,
that of self-prptection, for if my
identity should become known
there might be a mobbing party
and in my present delicate health
1 have no ambition to be the
Right along that same line of
wonring who yours truly is, I
overhead a remark the other day
of one of our prominent citizens.
He wondered why Uncle Zeke
didn't contribute to our local
paper, the DAILY DIPPER
AND MILKY WAY, in stead of
to the HERALD. I will
tell you the reason for that, I
consider tiia&t the Editor of the
DifFJdiix. doesn't deserve any
consi deration at my or anybody
else's-&ti&& ?He one of
most ungrateful discourteous'
parsimini ons, grasping, t narrow
niggardly, stingy, unbusinesslike
prejudiced wretches that ever
tstruck this part of the world.
Say, do you know what he did?
Why, the scylawag actuall dun
ned me the otier day for nine
years subscription to has little
old two by fear yellow sheet, I
subsam&da? forpi; nine y ears ago
at $7 per and he actually came
around tM other day and suggest
ed that it was time I was coming
through with about $63, just as
though he thought I wasn't go
ing to pay it! I Ml show him that
ie can't treat his subsrbibers
that way if he evely trie such a
stunt again. I'll have my paper
Stopped, and see now; he likes
While I am on the subject of
,that editor, I am going to give
him a little 3 vice but Til bet
four bits he dn't take it. That's
just his kind. If he wants to
improve his sensational bunch of
junki I would suggest that the
first thing he should do is to
move his one-horse prirt shop
out of that mud shack or else
fix it ut,so that it wouldlook half
-way decent. Then, it night be
ai-good idea if he would print a
liSlfe hews once' in a while. Of
course that is not necessary in a
newpabefbut I am just making
they suggestion. . Tlien he ouht
to get closer home and make a
few improvements in his personal
appearance, such as putting or) a
clean shirt about once a month,
changing his cellar and socks at
least twice a year, shaving his
seventeen whiskers on the 4th . of
July and Christmas, cleaning his
teeih occasionally, eating , about
twelve pound less tobacco a week,
and a few other little things like
that. . Of course it's none of my
business, but I am Just telling
him what I would do it 1 were in
his place. And then, after I had
made those necessary and radical
changes, I would, stop dunning
my subscribers. Why, jhe is
getting tcj be a bigger .nuisance
than the Tax Collector. Durn
his ornery picture if he was,anv
kind of a man at all lie wouldn't
lqt a measly little thing , like
$63 come between him and one of
his oldest subscribers. I'll say ,
this for him though, d footer
never do it again, t'lj sure stop
his paper and will hae my son
S im stop liis'n too,
Take it all around thoueih.
H?iia t'edrfcor 4S3$tsU&h fjtah&tirfel?
low ajfter&Il, frurn his faeadP-
He $ considered oneof the, lead
ing citizens, along wth your,
humble correspondent -and has
actually done a little good in the
community, such as furnishing
something for the women-folks
to start fires with.
Well, I guess that's about
the type- settle will stand fori.
If you don't hear from me again";
you may know that the editor of (
the DIPPER has taken offence
and has started an argurmentv
over what I have said. If.ich '
a thing should happen, and any.
of my friends want to.know
what has become -of old Uncle
Zeke, just refer them to the
County Jail, and if they want to
know where the ramrod of the ;
DAILY DIPPER AND MIKKY
WAY is located just show them
the way to the cemetery. Tha
lsnisnouia csuccumo to mm
, . Uncle Zeke Hawkins.
: LOS T-eThree small keys bn'a'
green tape string. Pi rider will1-.
please return to Herald'lfews
office. . , ; '
A goodly nuniberof the stock
men left this week for Springer-.
ville to attend the stock growers'
'meeting which convened their on:
on the 10th inst.
entirely t4 fnuisitiye Just M
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