Newspaper Page Text
Established November 1870 by Jas.
M. Barney and Judge Wm. J. Berry.
Purchased 1875 by John W. Borring
ton. who relinquished to W. H.
Shorey on July 1, 1911. Published for
44 years without missing an issue.
Per Year 12.00
Entered at Yuma, Yuma county,
Arizona, as second class mall.
Most men have one set of rules for
the conduct of their wives and another
set for themselves.
What has become of the old-fashioned
woman who used to shave off a lot
of powder from a bath brick and use
it to clean the kniveB? x
A lot of the married men are indig
nant because of the proposal to omit
the word "obey" from the marriage
ceremony. But most of the married
women didn't even know the word was
in the marriage ceremony.
And when he quits calling her "dar
kling " and begins calling her "Say, j
you!" the honeymoon is as dead asj
the roses she carried on the happy
A, dog's idea of a mollycoddle is a
poodle who has his fleas washed and
combed off by a flunkey, and who
never has any fun scratching them.
The reason why a girl who has to
wear an out size in stockings knows
that she isn't fat is because she can
see Uiat her ankles are not as large I
as her knees.
Once upon a time a man started
a fashion magazine that specialized
in styles for fat wom-en. The poor
sucker starved to death. No woman
will even admit to herself that she,
is a, perfect 4S north of the waist line
and a perfect 52 south of the waist !
The women may be wrong a great
deal of the time. But when they claim J
that the men couldn't get along with-j
out tnem, they are always right, with a !
great big capital R.
, After a man gets to be 70 years old,
ne can remember a whole lot of things
that never happened.
A woman always has "because" as
a reason, but a man sometimes hasn't
even one that good.
Good habits are hard to form and
easy to break. But it is different with
the bad habits.
Every now and then Nature slips
a cog and turns out a male gossip.
What has become of the old-fashioned
woman who used to say that the
fingers were made before forks and
who said that any man who soiled
two knives when he was eating a
meal was a dude?
The fury of a woman scorned is
as, nothing when compared to the fury
of friend wife when friend husband
wakes her up and tells her that her
snoring is keeping him awake.
The girl who wants to appear man
nish will wear a tailored skirt and. coat
and a mannish hat and waist. But
the feminine instinct compels her to
wear something dainty and fluffy and
baby-ribboned where you can't see it.
What has become of the old fashion
ed freckle-faced boy who always had
one big toe tied up in a rag and who
always had two bull's eyes in the seats
of his pants and who always said "Yes
sir," and "No. sir,"' when you spoke to
Kentucky hospitality used to be
great stuff. But nowadays, in most
of the counties of that state, the farm
er votes the dry ticket and hides his
demijohn out in the barn so nobody
can get a swig out of it but himself.
Before he gets her she is so differ
ent from other women that he can
not live without her. After he gets
her he is always telling her that she
is just like the rest of the doggone
The man who is always knocking
is sure to miss and hit his own thumb
every once in a while.
When there are five' or sis gr.own
"girls in a family the oldest daughter
always has an idea that her mother
is trying to raffle her off.
We hate to be iconoclastic. But if
George Washington never told a lie
his married life with Martha must
have been one long glorious battle.
Never laugh when you hear the
woman next door giving her husband
Hail Columbia. You never can tell
when your own Oootsey Wootsey is
going to start in on you.
Before he gets her she is a, clinging
vine. After he gets h'er she.' reminds
lim cf poison ivy.
If the truth were only known, many
a u.an s will power is at home washing
the dishes and getting his supper
ready for him.
The man who-has just learned how
to play chess gets mad because the
local paper doesn't devote an entire
page to chess every day. And the man
who doesn't own an auto can't see
why a lot of space should- be wasted
on automobile neu's every day. That's
one reason why anybody can run a
When he is courting her he thinks
shs is an angel in disguise. After he
gets her he discovers that the disguise
HAS TQfi OF CHILDREN
CANFIELD, Ore. Mrs. John Mcore
of this place, has a ton of children.
Mrs. Laird weighs only 135 pounds,
but her heaviest son, 20, weighs 295
pounds. Three others weigh 245
There are 10 children and their com
bined weight is 20S5 pounds.
All kinds of job work. "See Shor
ey About It."
A wounded British soldier has dealt
a quiet rebuke to the sentimentaliz
ings over him and his like. He is
living, he says, like a lord, in a fine
house in a smart suburb of London,
waited upon by lovely women, visited
by equally lovely women, usually bear
ing gifts. He is not ungrateful for
their kindly thought but he thinks of
the wives and children of his com
rades at the front. He would rather
this kindness were put to work in the
quarters where it would be less pic
turesque -and more useful. He con
cludes with this prayer:
"Lord, keep us wounded men mod
est and open our eyes to the purer
heroism of those men and women who
denied the brave show of the battle
field, sacrifice themselves every day
to the tedious tasks for which we have
' not the courage."
There is something wonderfully fine
grained in this; something wonderful
ly true and deep. And it has an appli
cation wider than the English hospi
tals. How many institutions have
been cumbered by requests for silly
displays of the doner's name! How
many bronzes and marbles have lum
bered up our public places at an ex
pense which ought to have gone to
cleaning and beautifying squalid
streets! This wounded soldier has
' belittled his own sacrifice in order
jthat he may, with gentleness and
I .truth, correct the foolish show of
kindness which prefers the pleasant
charity to needful. How easy it isi
' to flatter our self-respect with the con
science money of- kindness. How
1 much harder it is to do the rough, and j
Let us be honest with ourselves i
even in our charities. Boston Globe. ,
THE SAME IN SAN DIEGO
SAN DIEGO RESIDENTS SPEAK
OUT FOR THE WELFARE
OF THE PUBLIC
It is just the same in San Diego as
here in Yuma; our friends there speak
out in the same glad, earnest way as
many grateful Yuma men and women
have spoken in these columns ?or
i C. C. Herrill, carpenter, 2055 Irving
avenue, San Diego, California, says:
"I have suffered from kidney com
. plaint for quite a while. I had severe
pains across my back, which hindered
1 me greatly in doing my work. At
times I was so dizzy that I could hard
ly stand. My health was all run down.
I used Doan's Kidney Pills and the
: quick relief they brought was surpris
I ing. It took only one box of Doan's
Kidney Pills to reliee me of kidney
complaint. I haven't had ?ny need of
a kidney medicine during the past four
.or five years. I gladly confirm the
endorsement I gave Doan's Kidney
Pills when they cured me."
j Price 50 cents at all dealers. Don't
( simply ask for a kidney remedy get
Doan's Kidney Pills the same that
Mr. "Herrill had. Foster-Milburn Co
Props., Buffalo, N. Y.
Subscribe for the Examiner
GBANE WILL HAVE
JULY 4 CELEBRATION
A large numbe rof upper valley peo
ple met at the Crane school house:
Saturday night to make arrangements
for the Fourth of July celebration.
They will meet again on Tuesday
night at F. E. Elliott's to finish the
It will be held at the Crane school
grounds. The ladies will have charge
of ice cream and lemonade, the pro
ceeds to be divided between the two.
churches and schools.
FIT M MOUTH
DISUSE IIPEi OUT
While confident that the foot and
mouth disease, which has been epi
demic among the livestock of the
demic among livestock of U. S. the last
six months virtually has been wiped
out. Department of Agriculture offi
cials declared that they would not
relax their efforts to prevent a future
recurrence of the scourge. Altogeth
er more than 124 000 animals have
been killed, because of the epidemic,
at a cost of between $5,000,000 and
$6,000,000, the expense of which has
been ' shared equally by the federal
and state governments.
ITS HEil FIB
ST. LOUIS, Mo., June 9. Miss
Katherin Besse 18 years old, ate her
first breakfast, dinner and supper one
clay last week. When a child an acci
dent caused the closing of the chan
nel to the stomach. Last week a sur
geon, wjio had become interested in
her case restored her (to almost nor
mal condition. She had little idea of
the taste of various foods until after
A LUCKY MAN
DEVILS LAKE N.D. K. O. Ander
son, about to leave town for his mar
riage, depended upon the town clock.
The timepiece was slow, Anderson
missed his train, was late for the
wedding and was rejected by the "an
gry" bride. Anderson has sued the
city for $25,000 damages.
FAKING THE SIMPLE LIFE
HUNTS VILLE, Ohio. The boys in
the graduating class here appeared
in overalls while the girls all wore
gingham gowns. Prof. Pierson, of the
Ohio University, who delivered the
address complimented the young peo
ple. LONG TIME BETWEEN
MILWAUKEE, Wis. Louis Mueller
born in Milwaukee and employe of a.
big factory, 'was down town one day
last week for. the first time in 11
years. He is- 45" years old.
10 I Lnlio ULU, mi