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SUFFERINGS. )|<i?< I>>"1 wit ii Pain?? U? I'oini't? HrmtI.t. ?lit. of IT-' Mnln St.. In 1M!>S t ? rj> peins in -mat! of the n<l hn?l such I ! .-.pi??!! t dl/ZV ? pHI? that I could ?> get about II- house. Tin' ry passages also qui?e !r i un lar. Monthly periods Mere so d1 stressing I ii. XMs m? my ?>'^7^ jUoiin's Kid hotped Mie^fffrUjjwuy when ?jan with them, und three boxe* '?iii.iiM'iitly." Millmrii Co.. H?rtalo. N. V. by all d-ahrs. Pri?e, 50 Poured Gold in His Teeth. Tf story has come to light In a court. A young man from Chi [ved in New York, hoping to , n work as a waiter. arrested jiy ? I] of riot h from?a-t?Nk>r ; : daylight, lie pleaded iu> charge, and told the fol ?ry : All the money I had was spent. I | end to help me cot work. I BCd my overcoat and spent the I got on it, except l.r> cents. I that for a pair of Jllers, which used to to rip the gold teeth from mouth. Those cost me $75 and I pawued them for $3.50. all I could get, and when that money was gone I had to steal or starve. *^t went to a clothing shop, picked w a*roll of cloth in plain view of its owners, and stood ten. f-ot from the jtOor, waiting^ to be sent to prison, sphere I would be sure of a hod and food." Recorder Goff paroled the young young man and the officials saw that he was sent to his homo in Chicago.? Cleveland Plain Healer. Anxious for His Divorce. A Rhod?- Island lawyer who devoto much of his attention to the procure ment, of divorce?, tella the following: "On?' dav last month there my MB ce a prosperous looking Ger? man, who. without much preliminary conversation, stated that he wanted a divorce Suffire It to say thai mass of facts elicited from Mi< appli? cant would have served to obtain eral divorces At Ihat, if was a toss ??i whether the man or his wife the better entitled to a judicial ?ration. So i hinted to the German thai it might be \'<ii for him to ai )w the woman to gel the divorce 'She's a woman, you know.' 1 added. 'and it would he wiser lor both of r lan gazed anxiously at me for some minutes. Then he exclaimed excitedly : " 'You think I haf done enough to her alretty. oh?' "'Certainly.' answered I. " 'Because,' he added, eagerly, 'if 1 haf n't, den I'll go and bit her once uow!' " Two Fish Unaccounted For. ~"<Md" Gorton of Manchester was an ardent disciple of Izaak Walton. On one occasion be vas sitting upon the railroad bridge in company with some the young men of the town, pur? ling his favorite occupation. The fish did not. bite well, however, and one of his companions, becoming im? patient, unnoticed by the old man. cot up, wound up his line, and started for home, throwing a couple of fish Into Gorton's basket as he passed. After a time Gorton, too, tired of ^-hls- Poor Hick, prepared for dearture. Lifting the the eover <?f his basket, he looked in, counted his catch, and said, with a surprised and disappoint? ed voice: "Why, I bad five cunners, and now there ain't bul seven! Where the devil's tother two?" S? She Was Safe in Natick. Lit to1 Hester. 1 years old, was vis ?e her grandparents, who are very iCTSeotch Presbyterians. One day, Having done something naughty, her grandmother took her in her arms, talked to her about being good and finished by saying: "God sees you, ad he will not love you if you are not good little girl." He teT opened wide her wondering yes, and gravely looking into her rancimother's face, said: "Rut. grand? ma, he can't see mo when I am at hooae, for there is no God in Natick." OUST THK DEMON. A TiiAftl? With CoflV.-. there is something fairly demonia? cal In the way coffee sometimes wreaks i Its fiendish malice en those who use it. K~ A A lady writing from Calif, says: "My husband and I. both lovers of coffee, suffered for some time from a very annoying form of nervousness, aceorajpanled by most frightful head? aches. In my own cas? there was eventually developed some sort of af fcetion of the nerves leading from the spine t<? flu? head. "1 was unable to hold my iiead up straight, the tension of the nerves drew it to one side, causing me the si intense pain. We got no relief from medicine, and were puzzled as to what caused the trouble, till a friend i thai possibly the coffee we rtk ha<l something to <L> with It. and taed that we ggfi it and try Pos "Wo followed his advice, nnd from tii?- day ?bat we began to use Postum we both begun to Improve, and in a very short time both of us ware en leved. The nerve* became |teedy ??nee more, the headaches the muscles in the back of my u relaxed, my head straightened 0L$ul idful pain that had so ?<1 the old kind ' ?<> eanlshi hi" h iflm I n i| the Um- of Lour Postum THE OLD DOMINION Latest News Cleaned From AJ? Over the State. Tl.icvc?; entered the chicken house ol Samad Mitchell, n Marion county larm tr. and carried oil 80 ni his choice chick? ens^ said !?> worth $1 apiece. Col. G. A Porterheld has sold his farm containing 319M acres, near Leetown, Jefferson county, \n George M Bowers, >t Alabama, formerly ol Jefferson coun 1 $.<o .in George W. Marlow Im- - 1 a ? on tiu- Shenandoah river, m Jefferson county, containing 140 acres, t?> Mrs. A C. Moore for $30 an acre. The Apporaattox marshes near Peters hnrg are .?live with -ora, DUl the bir?l ?re not yet in prune condition. Tin--? asarshes arc famous hunting grounds ?nd furnish great numbers of 1 >ir?t-. tor '.he Northern m 11 b Near Natural Bri lg< Station, on the Chesapeake and Ohio road, Stuart Chand? ler, colored. ^h"t and instantly killed an? other negro named Newman. The ne groes quarreled over a sack <>f tobacco, and Chandler secured a gun, loaded it and deliberately blew the top of New? man's head off. Ik- stated afterward that the shooting was accidental. At last repots Chandler had no; beer) At Lacrosse John Kmker was shot and painfully wounded by W. 1? Mason. Kmker had gone to Mason's house to be married to M:>- Lula A. Harris, who was staying there. M a son suddenly ap I peared and fired a shotgun at h:m twice, one load taking effect in In- shoulder. I It is thought that Mason is insane. The i marriage took place later at a neigh I bor's home, where Kink?! ?S now under treatment. Dr. \\. W. Moor?, president of the Union Theological Seminary. Richmond, has been called to Blowing Rock. N". C, ?o the bedside of lu- -on. Francis, who is ill with typhoid fever. Congressman II 1*. Flood predicts that Congressman Swanson will defeat Judge Lewis tor Governor by a; lea-t -5-' Ti:e Chautauqua which will he held September ; to tS in Roanoke will in? clude the Ottcrbrin Quartet, Mi-- Edan George, of Boston; Jahn DeWitt Mil? ler, Dr. VY. L Davidson, of Washing? ton; Dr. William Spurgeon, of England; Rev. Sam I'. Jones, Prof. P. M. Pear - :i. Prof. W. 1!. Patty, the scientist in liquid air. radium an.! wireless teleg? raphy; Ellsworth Plumstead, Loci J Beauchamp, Cap;. Richmond Fear-on Hobson ami Dr. A. A. Willi A family horse driven to a buggy bj Mr-. Newton K. Larrick, ol Bayfield became frightened at an automobile seV' .?ral null- aresi of Winchester ami rat away, throwing out Mr-. Larrick. wdu aras caught in the rem-, Mr-. Larrick who aras dragged on the ground for ; long distance, aras picked up in wha aras at first believed to he a dying con dit ton, hut she finally regained he tenses. She was badly cut and bruise? utd suffered severe nervous -hock. Th SUtomobilistS were no; caught. While the syndicate thai has under taken tin extension of the South an Western Railroad from the Virginia fields to a point on the South Atlanti :oast is busy with the construction worl in the North Carolina mountains, an several forces of men at wor in Southwest Virginia, there is anothc project on foot to carry Virginia COI to the coavi by a direct route. Henr K. McHarg, who owns the Vingini and Southwestern Railroad, ha- ?letei mined to build a road from Cliltchpoi to ?he Tom- Creek Mine-, in Wise com ly, \'a.. on practically the same route s< lected by the Sont h and Western pei pie. Mr. McHarg i- having hi- pi route surveyed and i- said to he ace; inulating material for construction w?~>r! There is a rumor that Mr. McHarg an Thoma- F. Ryan, whose cash is bad ing the other project, have been i conference with a view to joining cap tal and constructing only one road ii stead ?>f two. Dr. I. K. Mufi and Mr. Francis, brotl cr of the late Maurice Francis, who month ago was assassinated in Floj county while 011 his way to visu h ?etheart, have employed I loge & Pen of Roanoke, and Won. J. C. Wysor, 1 Pulaski, to assist in the prosecution John Richard-, the young Universi of Virginia student, who is charge?! wi the crime. The defense has secured rl -??rviccs of Judge Fhlegar, of Christian hurg-. Mis- (irace A rent-, one of the wealtl e>t women of Richmond, ha- been o crated on for appendicitis at her lian some home in that city. Her COndtti? is favorable. Miss ?rents is a nie the late Major Lewis ('.inter, I tobacco millionaire. She has won State-wide reputation by her chariti and church work. C. C. \\ illiains. of Crewe, a freig conductor on the Norfolk and WestC 1 Railway, aras very seriously injured , Ford'- Depot. He was ''poling!* soi car-,, ami, in pepping hack on an opf lie track, he was struck and knock down by .1 locomotive. The looomoti ran over liis arm and crushed it so bac thai amputation was necessary. W ham.- was badly bruised about the bo and his condition ?S critical. Tin- body of a one-armed unknoi negro was found in the Appomatt River, near Bates' Spring, in Frit i George county, a short distance in Petersburg. Around the negi was a rope and on him was found a volver. Mr. Bishop Weaver Stern, of Hat SOnburg, and Miss Lucy P. Doi daughter of Mr. David F. 1 Alma, were married in the I.uray C; crus at Luray. Elder John R. Daily, i the Primitive Baptist Church, officiai The attendants were Mr. Floyd Doi ;>f Harrisonburg, and Miss Annie Cf man, of Luray. This is the elevei marriage that has taken place in Caverns since their ?hscovery in l8"*"? James H. Winn, a driver for the S Laundry Company, ?>f Danville, x painfully injured in an elevator accid at the Hotel Burton. Winn had pla? a bundle of laundry in tl?e freight < vator on the ii'wer floor of the build ami, as he stepped into the ear hinis it gave way and tel! into the basem? Mr. Winn's feet were caught betvvi the elevator and the floor of the ho *n<\ he was suspended in a perilous ] sition. When rescued it was tni: that his right leg aras broken just abi the ankle and the left leg was ba lacerated. The injured man was moved to the General Hospital. Rev. George Floyfkk >gcr-, of Han ton. ha- received a cmI to the Fpis.-o ?diurch at Covingtojw At P< Kr a h?\ji: :!-#??? petition has Ik :e?l to JnyjA W. J. Henson, sij rd by over a thii^hof the voter him t?->?grant .1 I|>1 option election NEW YOR? AS SEEN DAY BY DAY. Nsw York (-itt. N. Y. A ?;;.l:> t >vc story, in which the hero and heroine arc a you.,g sculptor and his still younger model, is soon to have a happy ending. On September 10 Jacqu<H Papesisa, of 206 West Eighty eight street, whose studio is at 3 East Seventeenth street, will marry Irene \gncs MacAlpine. of ,s?4 Bast Twenty sixth street, liis former 17-year-old mod Whereby hangs this romance. < hie afternoon about eight months ago while the sculptor was at work on 1 group "The Struggle for Lite."* for which IM had been unable to find I mod? el for the central female figure, there came a knock at his studio1 door, and there entered I tall, fair-haired ?irl who announced herself as Irene Mac Alpine, and asked : MDo you need a model?" She really was just the model he netded, and in three minutes she was successfully posed, and the statue wa growing. Por tWO weeks Mi-s MacAlpine posed for Pa pesian daily, and in those two weeks the sculptor^ interest in his new model increased even more rapidly than the statue. At the end of that time he avowed his love and proposed mar? riage. Miss MacAlpine was willing. ? ?? j& JS> The most excited janitor in New York city is Adolph Neurack, of 211 East Fourteenth street, who has just been in? formed thai he was the brother-in-law of no less a personage than the Russian plenipotentiary, Sergios Witte. Neu? rack. whose work as janitor is supple? mented by an occasional job of plumb? ing, is a native of the little town of Sha vel. in Russia. 1 !t- i, a son of Raer Neurack, one of the prominent mer? chants of the town. Nearly 20 years ago Neurack left home, and since then he has never seen either of his two un? married sisters. Rumors of a famous marriage have come to him, but he did not know any definite facts until he re? ceived a letter from a relative. Dr. William Kolman. of Alliance. N. J.. telling him that his sistetr Pauline was the wife of tb.e great Russian Minister. 49 49 49 icked by two tavage dogs, her clothing half stripped from her body and her flesh lacerated in many places, Mrs. F. Peterson, who lives in Locust street. Corona, I ong Island, had a des? perate struggle for life on Shell road, near Junction avenue. Mrs. Peterson owes escape from more serious and per? haps fatal injuries 1.1 the brave efforts of Miss I Kxie 1 lav ens. The infuriated brutes ripped her dress open from collar to skirt and tore her shirt waist to fragments. She was fight ing desperately when Miss Havens rush? ed upon the dogs and pulled them from the prostrate woman. Then both the women had to fijjht the ?logs, just then a trolley car came along and the motor man jumped into the fray. With his controller handle he hit the great Haue a blow on the head that felled >t. Miss Havens escaped unharmed, bul Mrs. Peterson was taken home suffering from the shock and numerous lacerations. 49 49 49 Walentine Klein, who has lived within 15 miles ot a railroad all his life, near Jeffersonville, Sullivan county, never saw a locomotive and train of cars until Friday. Klein is a farmer, 48 years old. lit never has had the time and cur. to go to Calicoon to see the steam cars. This season has been good, and Klein prospered SO much that lie decided to take a day off. Arriving at Calicoon, he stationed himself a good distatnee from the tracks and watched for a train. i'is amazement was great when a fast express passed. Klein had the time of his life watching the trains go by. He went home satisfied with his vacation. 49 49 49 ('.en. Tiet A. (Tronic, the Boer, has brought suit in the Supreme Court against Charles V.'. Wall and against the Clay Amusement Company, which sine; Wall gave up the Roer \Var spec? tacle at Brighton Beach has been carry? ing on that exhibition, tor $2.429.96 for services rendered by him in the show. Justice Giegerich, on the application of Mortimer rishel, a lawyer of Long Is? land City, granted an attachment against the property of the two defendants, which was transmitted by Sheriff Fr langer to the Sheriff of Oueens county for service. Violence accompanied the beginning of a strike of firemen and laborers in tunnel work at Ninth avenue and Thir? ty-third street. The men arc employed by the Pennsylvania Railroad Company, ind want an increase in wages. The firemen receive $40 a month and work seven days a week. They want $50. while the laborers want an inci from $1.73 to $2 a.4jay. A genera! fight began when the men went out, and p 1 lice reserves had 10 be c.'il!<-d to dis? perse a crowd engaged in stoning the work trains. 49 49 49 Taking a quantity of Paris green, Mrs. Florence Caskey. 256 Willis ave? nue, left a note for her husband, Adei bcrt \V. Caskey, a lawyer, asking him to follow her .so that they might be buried together. Site gave no reason for the act, but the note was full of tenderness and repealed declarations that they had been happy together. Dragged by a cow, Otto Bctzold. a farmer, of Corona, I.. 1., is in St. John's Hospital with a broken right leg, a badly cut body and possibly internal in? juries. He had sold the cow and was taking her to her new owner when s,he objected and ran away. lie was tan? gled in the rope and dragged until it broke under his weight. FACTS WORTH RKMEMBER1N0. Tt is estimated that ?200,000 worth of diamonds are stolen every year from In South African diamond mines. The British consul at Cadi/, Spain, says that it will pay to establish iteel Aorks in that city, and recommends such in enterprise to capitalists. Among the staff of the royal garages A Italy a semi-military system has been introduced The director will wear the iniform of an army captain and the ?hauffers that of the ranks. The Department of Agriculture dur? ing the last two years has taken great ?re? in promoring gardening work and lical study among the pupils of the pnj^^schools of Washington. v / building boom in LoOfigf ?d and thousands, ajb COMMERCIAL REVIEW. R. G. Dun & Co.'s "Weekly Review of Trade" say "Peace and prosperity succinctly ex? press the results ?^f an eventful week. International mercantile markets re sponded to the cessation of hostilities, and a period ?>f commercial development may he expected to follow the return of confidence. Capital that hail been diverted into bellicose channels will he used for construction instead of destruc? tion, ami the United States wifl secure a stronger hold on the markets of the Orient. 'Domestic rcp?>rts were scarcely less encouraging. Leading branches of man? ufacture are increasing productive capac? ity, especially in departments pertaining to railway equipment; t?'xtile in is ! s have little idle machinery; footwear factories are running freely, while in structural work there i* no evidence of lessenc?' activity. Visiting buyers still throng the great jobbing centre- and place order IOr distant delivery that testify to faith in a vig?->r?uis demand for consumers. "Liabilities of failures in August were $4.35^.000 less than lasl year, and the latest crop new- increases earlier esti mates of record breaking cereal produc? tion, most of the harvesting and thresh ing being completed, but cotton returns are less satisfactory, many experts re? ducing their estimates to 10,500,000 bales or les Bradstreet's says: "Wheat, including fioitr, exports for ?he week arc 1,420*250 bushels, again-) 1.170.340 last week. l330,5Il this week la-; year, 3,131,830. in IOOJ and 6.J76.20 1 in t<)02. Corn exports for the week an r, 163*370 bushels, against 067,204 last week, 710.502 ti year ago. 8^.741 in IOOJ ami 91,196 in \002." WHOLESALE MARKETS. Baltimore. ? FLOUR ? Steady a; de? cline and unchanged ; receipts, 10,40.: barrel-. WHEAT?Dull and lower; spot, con tract. SroSt'j; ^?).!. ?o. 2 red West em. v . August, S, Sep tember, Si <-"'??i Y ; October, S."iiSj'?; December, S4V084Y; steamer No 2 7A% CORN* -Kasy; spot, 6o@6o|>4; Aug n-t, ' ; September, 50" _? ; year, . ? ; January. 48 . ; Febril ary, 4SY'"4?SY; steamer mixed, 5 OATS?Firm; new No. 2 white, -ales; new No. 3 white, 2 new No 2 mixed. ZJ) /a 28. RYE?Firmer; No 2 Western. 62(6 62 Y. HAY?(>h!. steady; No. 1 lim and No. 1 clover mixed, unchanged. BUTTER?Firm, unchanged; fane; imitation, t<j"2o; fancy en un 23 ; fancy ladle. i8@io; store-packed, i" " 17. KGGS?Firm, unchanged, jo. CHEESE Steady, unchanged; large 11' j : medium. ?i}\, -mall, 13. SUGAR?Steady, unchanged; coars. granulated, 5.45; fine, 5?: New York.?WHEAT?Spot steady. No 2 red, ??So1 s elevator and Sr's f. o, b. afloat; No. 1 Northern Dululh. - arrive f. o. b. alba.; No I Northern Manitoba, 88Y to arrive f. o. b. afloat. CORN?Spot Steady; No. 2. 61*4 ele? vator Ttnd f. O b. afloat : No. 2 yellow. :>j ; No 2 white, 02*4. Option market was without transact! :ng nomi? nally unchanged to J^c, net higher; Sep tember closed 6bfi ; December cl OATS?Spot steady; mixed oat to 32 pounds, 29'cjo'j; natural white. .10 to 32 pounds, 30@3I ; clipped white. 36 to 40 pounds, 33 Y(f'35 Y. RYE?Steady; No. 2 Western, 64 c. i. f. New York. BARLEY?Steady; feeding, 395 c. i. f. Buffalo. BUTTER?Steady and unchanged. CHEESE?Strong. State full cream, small colored, and white fancy, 11; do., fair to choice, to1 [(? 10^4 ; large colore?! and white fancy. It. EGGS?Easy and unchanged; receipts 8,064. LARD?Firm; refined, firm; conti? nent. 8.45; South American, o.oo; com? pound. 5** COTTONSEED OIL- Firm; prime yellow. _'0; ;'. / .^0*4. SUGAR Raw, steady; fair refining, .<ds; centrifugal, giy Lest, 3 3t-32'o>4; mo sugar, 3'*; refined, -'.?adv. PEANUTS Easy; fancy hand-pick? ed, v" i'j : other domestic, v^ 5*4 POTATOES ?Weak; Long Island and Jersey, per ioo pounds, 1.50V/. 1.75 ; lo. round Jersey, per barrel, 1.25(04.50; sweet potatoes, Jersey, per basket, y-'o 1.25. CABBAGES?Weak; flat dutch, per too, 4.oof? 5.00; Wakefield, 3.00^14.00. Uve Stock. Chicago.?CATTLE?Receipts, 3,000, market steady; good to prime steers. 5.50@6.jo; pour to medium, 400(0)5.45; ?tockers and feeders, 2.257/4.30; cows. 2.50^450; heifers, 2.20'//4.75; cannera 1.25fr; 2.40; bulls, 2J0@400; calves, 3.0c ?0*7.50; Texas fed steers, 3.25fr/4.60; Western sleets, 3.50fr/ 5.OO. HOGS?Receipts, r6,ooo; market 5c. lower; mixed and butchers', 5.75-7/ 6.37?3 ; good t?? choice, heavy, 6.O0@6.3O; rough, heavy, 5.70fr/5.(75 ; light, 5.1^5^6.27"^; hulk of sales, 5.?/o'?/6.25. SHEEP?Receipts, 6.000 sheep steady; lambs, IOC higher; good to choice weth? ers, 5.25fr/ 5.50; fair to choice, mixed, ?.CO; native lambs, 5.50Y7.60. IN THE FIELD OF LABOR. Dyers and fishers of Meerane, .Saxony, and surrounding ?districts are on a strike. Women weaver-, numbering 1200, in the silk factories of Jesi, Italy, have -.truck w??rk. A lock un in the marble quarries of ira, Italy, has thrown 6000 men out >f employment. It is estimate?! that there are approxi? mately 1.000,000 brooms used annually in Michigan. A new international of building labor? ers, one to amalgamate all the present ones, lias been started. Three hundred and seventy foundries in Philadelphia produce machinery val ued at $38,372,971 annually. Berlin (Germany) carpet weavers have won a twelve weeks' strike, gaining an average increase of 8 per cent. Paper bagmakers are about lb be ad ?led to the ranks of the organized women workers in London, England. Approximately the number of Chinese imported ami at work in the Tran j< hetwe-n 41,000 and 42,000. Tin rrunber of employ?es on the rail? roads ?if t!ic United Stare; in i<>?>4 was 1,206,1/fl. a ?lecrease of 16.410 from the >cal of the lilted national Plate TRY TO MISLEAD DOCTOR*. Too Many Patients Refuse to Speak the Truth as to Their Attirent?. It was late, the doctor's patients had either passed away or were mend? ing, and he was sitting with a num of his acquaintances in a corner of the chibroom. '?It's a strenuous life we lead." droned the man of medicine, "wit* the grim side turned uppermost as a rule, but now and then wo get a laugh out of it?a laugh with the lid on, of course; we can't afford to show we're amused. I often wonder," he went on. genially, "why some of you chaps ever send for a physician. You don't tell him the truth once in twen ty times. You're in a bad way and you're sorry, and to hear you talk I'tl think your mouths were cold stor age boxes for butter. You suspect that lobster or a riefe sauce you ate the day before yesterday is at the bottom Of the trouble. You know what's curled up in you and you're fright? ened out. of a year's growth for fear I'll learn. ?Accordingly, instead of taking me Into your confidence you tell me an Impossible story. And if I cross-exam? ine you closely and hedge you in you'll reluctantly admit that you've been somewhat Indiscreet. You smoked four cigars Thursday and took six ?Irinks Doesn't it ever occur to you that I know by your flutters that you smoked from breakfast to bed and took sixtt en drinks and six more for good measure? "If I were to believe you and dose you for your ailment as yon describe It you'd never get well. Now and then I have to give you strychnine and nitroglycerine to restore the ac? tion of the heart and to listen to you I might conclude that you'd had too much pink Ice at a children's party. " "As I hinted, we doctors get some fun out of you, but what do you do it for? We were not always doctors. we haven't always taken the best car? of ourselves and we're no! fools." BIRDS' SENSE OF HUMOR. Man cv Experience Awards Palm tc Roast Duck. 'I was mailing a magasine article the Other day?I'm always read in. something." said the hardware m? r chant, "that bad it thai I>r. Kennedy had discovered that binis have a sense of humor. One of his anecdotes was that a robin was feeding her VOUCg With earthworms, win n a tow. reigning lameness, appeared on ii" edge of the nesl with ?pen mouth arid claimed a shan of the m?;il Tht robin looked the intruder over, picked up a bit of dead twig thai resembled ? worm, and hastily thmsl it imo his throat. The erow was d greedy thai be nearly choked to death before he realised that be bad been deceived. I ran easily believe that, bul I've ai araya thought thai ?he bird whose sense of humor was most highly ?le veloped was the duck. A roust, duck ?ill have more fun with you iu a dumb, sol-mu kind of way than any rhing Um i wears feathers. I don't except wornen or Indians. 'I've taken carving lessons and I know just where the joints of a due:; ought lo be, bul they're never wherf Hoy ought to be; they're always somewhere else What's worse, they're never located alike In any two ducks In, ir you have one duck you can't make it go around, and if you have n.ore than one there'! too much. And the way a duck'll bound and spring off from the knife and go under the table with you, if you're not careful, is won derfut. A roast duck alw is to say to me; ' You've pot me where I can't do a loi lo you. bul you'll lie sorrier (han 1 am, at that, before we're through with one another.' " Harvard's President Appreciated. Some years ago a physician was summoned in haste to attend S p;itient at N-. On arriving at the island. ?ad inquiring for a conveyance to the hou36 he wished to visit, he was ?li i to a farmhouse Here the doc? tor found a man, whom he requested to harness a horse, at the same time, in the interest of his patient, desir? ing him to be lively. 'I'llo man pleasantly and promptly Complied, harnessed the horse, and was speedily driving over the road at H :'<x)d rate. The doctor discussed farming, and was struck with the gen? eral information and conversational powers of the driver. On arriving at the house half a dollar was tendered the man. but it was politely declined. "What is the name of your intolli g< ?it farmer?" asked the doctor, after be had finished his professional visit. "What, the gentleman who brought you to the house? That was Presi? dent Eliot of Harvard." Mr. MacGueen as a Minister. Ti:o Rev. Peter MacQueen tells this story on himself: It seems that Mr. Murphy, the famous temperance ora? tor, made one of his great speeches in the West Soraerville Congregational church some years ago. At the close of the service one of Mr. McQueen's parishioners, a worthy Scot addicted to strong liquors, came up to sign the temperance pledge. Mr. Murphy talked to the Scotch? man and asked him if Mr. McQueen was not a brother Scot. "What kind of a minister is Mr. MacQueen?" said Murphy to the converted tippler. ? tie's a foin mon, that Mister Mac Queen; a grawn meenlster that; (hero's nane o' this dom'd releeglon aboot him." replied the old Scotch? man. CUTICURA GROWS HAIR Sc?l> Clear???! ot Dandruff himI Huir Ke atom! i?r One Km of Cnllcnra ???1 One ?L'ait? ot OwtSflStW Simp. A. W. Tait, of independence, Va., writ? ing under date ot Sept. 15, 1004, tays: "I bave liad falling hair and dandruff for twelve year? and could get nothing to help mo. Finally I bought one box ot Cuticura Ointment and one cake of Cuticura Soap, and ihej cleared my ?calp of the dandrutf gad atopped the hair falling. Now my hair ia growing a* well as ever. 1 highly Wize CStieara Soap as a toilet aoap. ?gned) A. VV. Tait, Independence, Va." THE IDEAL WIFE Shapes the Destiny of Men?The Influence of a Healthy Woman Cannot Be Overestimated. Seven-eighths of the men in this world marry a woman l>ccause she is beautiful in their eyes? because she has the quali? ties which inspire admira? tion, respect and love. There is a beauty in health which is more at? tractive to men than mere regularity of feature. The influence of women glorious in the possession of perfect physical health upon men and upon the civili/.ation of the world could never l>e measured Because of thetn men have attained the very heights of ambition ; because of them even thrones have been established and de? stroyed. What a disappointment, then, to see the fair young wife's beauty fading a way before a year passes over her head ! A sickly, half dead-and-alive woman, especially when she is the mother of e family, is a damper to all joyous ness in the home, and a drag upon her husbund. Trie cost of a wife's OOSV stant illness is a serious draiu upon the funds of a household, ami too often all the doc? toring does no good. If a woman finds her energies are flagging, and that everything tires her, dark shadows appear under her eyes her sl?M'p is disturbed by horrible dreams ; if she has backache, head? aches, bearing-down pains, nervous? ness, whites, irregularities, or despon? dency, she should take means to build her system up at once by a tonic with epseifie powers, siieh as Lydia E. rink ham's Vegetable Compound. This great remedy for women hns done more in the way of restoring health to the women of America than all other medicines put togotber. It is the safeguard of woman's health. Following we publish, by request, a letter from a young wife. Mrs. Besaie Aineley of fell South 10th Street. Tueoma. Wash., writes Dr?r Mrs. Piuklmin:? " Ever sinee my child was lx-irn I hnvo suf? fer?^!, a-s 1 Ih>|m? few women ever have, with inrlanunntiou. female weakness. \h ni inijr-dovMi j>ain^. bnrkarhs and wi'?Btelnd h???nlarhes. It aH"eet#?d mv stoiuaeb so that 1 COUld Sot en? joy my meals, and half my time was spent in l<ed. "Lydia E. Linkhar.-'B Vegetable Compound mude me a well woman, and I feel ao grate? ful that I am glad to writo and tell vou of niv marvelous recovery. It brought me health, new life and vitality." What Lydia F. 1 Mnkham's Vegetable Compound did for Mrs. Ainsley it will do for every woman who is in poor health and ailing. Its benefits begin when its use begins. It gives strength ami vigor from the start, ami surely makes sick women well uml robust. Remember Lydia E. Pinkhara's Vege table Compound holds the record for the greatest number of actual cures of woman's ills. This fact is attested to by the thousands of letters from grale lul women which are on file in the Pinkham laboratory Merit alone can prodnee such results. Women should remember that a cure for all female diseases actually exists, and that cure is I.ydia E. I'inkham's Vegetable Compound. Take no substi? tute. If you have symptoms you don't Understand write to Mrs. *Pinkb:?">. Lynn. Mass . for special ad vies?-it is free and always helpful. Lydia E. Pinkhara's Vegetable Compound Succeeds Where Others Fail. WINCHESTER "NUBLACK" BLACK POWDER SHELLS The " Nublack " is a grand good shell. It is good in construction, primed with a quick and sure primer, and carefully loaded with the best brands of powder and shot. It is a favorite among hunters and other users of black powder shells on account of its uniform shooting, evenness of pattern and strength to withstand reloading. ALL DEALERS SELL THEM snhnnnnnannsn?ns^snnnnna?a1 Poet and Fool. This story of Alexis Piron, the French poet and epigrammatist, is told by the writer of "Franca Men of Letten.** Piron was unforturnto enough to he arrested one night by a watchman in the streets of Paris, and was taken the following morning before the lieuten? ant of polieo. Who haughtily lntorro ?ated hirn eoncerning his bosinen or profession. "I am a poet," vas the reply. "Oh. ho! a poet, are you?" said the official. "I have a brother who is a poet." "Then we are quits." rejoined Piron. "for I have a brother who is a fool." F'T.SperniaiiHiit ly -u red. No fits ornervoni. ness a!t?r ;!r->t day's ?is? of in. KUae*a (Irftftt: NerveRestorer.f 21 rial bottloaml treatlaefrea Dr.lt. U. Ki.ink, Lt.l ,5(31 Arcti St., Phtla..Pa. Japan's gold production in the year ended February 28 ?raj (5.1971 Mrs. Wiuslow's Soothing Syrup for Otattdrstl leetbiaa*teoftea the ffuoaajredaeasj laflannaa? lion,allay- patii,?'iir??swiiul .oli<\ 25e.h bottta Tbc Ktnprror of Japan baa recently given $.1000 to th<> V. M. t:. A. Pfcm n CuraTor Coaaumptlon Is aa lu faillira DM Urina for COUgba and colds. ? N. W :-ami i;i Ocean (?rovo, N.J.. Fol?. 17. I'M? The population of J'unjkok is estimated .it ?OD.OOU s.nils. Th?, (Jr??t Anllm-iMln, Sloan's Liniment, lor all mosquito hites. If kills yellow lever ;?n?l ?alaria gi'im?. Tiro thousands vessels ot ull description? diaappear every year. Positive, Comparative, Superlative. " I have used one of your Pish Brand Slickers for five years, and now want a new one, nlso one for a friend. I would not be without one for twice tho cost. They are just as far ahead of a common coat as a common one ts ahead of nothing." (Kam? on ap|>ll<stlon.) IHflHEST AWARD WORLD'S FAIR, 1004. ne aure you don't set one of the com? mon klnd-thla la the ?Y0WQfct mark of excellence. ? l> A. J. TOWER CO., * aosTON. u.a.a. 'AJrVHUdO TOWER CANADIAN CO., Limited, TORONTO, CANADA. 35a Makers of Wet Weather Clothing a Hats. let PISOS ClTRE FOR B a?? VMS WKtm au tut raus. Conch eyrup. 1'um (iood. Ha? la ttixt?. Sold by ?JrnrelnU. CONSUMPTION PENSION FOR AGE. A new atalas wilt (lva pen? sion for lig*. v?. rite m? at onco for blanks and luitructloin. hnf of charge. No Pension. No Pay. Addro*, W. II. WILLS. Will? Bulldin?. SU Indiana At?, Wa.hlne on. l> G PataiHs and Trado-Marlu Solicited. If afflict*?* 'IA/at?r W. L. Douglas FCR MEN *3^&*3^ SHOES W. L. Douglas $4.CO Gilt Edge Lino cannot be equalled at any price. ! F.stfthl'.slinl^*^ c?y. ill July?. 18TS. ? W. ?..DOUGLAS MAKES AMD SELLS MORE MEM'S S3.nO SHOES THAN AMY OTHER MANUFACTURER. $10 fififl REWARD to snyono who can jUUU disprove this statement. W. L. Douglas $3.50 shoe* have by their ex? cellent style, easy fitting, and superior wearing qualities, achieved the largest sale of any $3.50 ?iioe in the world. They are just as good k* those that cost you $5.00 to $7.00? the only difference Is the price. If I could take you into my factory at Brockton, Mas?., the largest in the world under one roof making men's fine shoes, and show von the care with which every pair of Douglas shoes Is made, von would realize why W. L. Douela* $3.50 shoes are the best ?hoe.4 produceJ in the world. If 1 could show you the difference between the shoes made in my factory and those of other makes, j u would understand why Douglas $3.50 shoes coc-t more to make, why they hold their shape, fit bettor, wear longer, and ?re of greater intrinsic value than any other $3.50 shoe on the market to-day. W. L. nonata? Strong Made? Shorn* for Mon. SV.60, *2.00. Baya' School A Dm*a Shoam.$'J.BO, 02, $1.7B,$1.SO CAUTION.?Insist upon having W. L.Doug? las shoes, falto no substitut?. None genuino Without li!s name fuvi ni Ire stamped on bottom. WANTED. A sho?n!f:*lerlne?rery town ?jfhsrs W. I*. Dmighis Shoos are not sold. Full lino of samplos sent free for Inspection upon request. Fast Color Eunlits used; they will not wear brassy. Writ? for Illustrated Catalog of Fall Sty??s. W. I,. DOUGLAS, iirockton, Mas?. FOR WOMEN troubled with ills peculiar to their sex, used as a douche it marvelously suc? cessful. Thoroughly cleanses, kills disease germs, stops dischaigus, heals inflammation and local soreness, cure3 leucorruoea and nasal catarrh. l'jxtine is in powder form to be dissolved in pore water, and is far more cleansing, healing, ?ermicioal and economical than liquid antiseptira for all TOILET AND WOMEN'S SPECIAL USES For sale at druggists, 60 cents a box. Trial Box and Dook of instructions Pree. ?hi R. Paxton Conmnv Boston, kfaaa. ADVEgT?SE1*aVy?JT PAYS ROANOKfc COLLEGE J* ?*> FOR YOUNG WOMEN, DANVILLE. VIRGINIA. A Select and Limitad College for the Hial LducAlioii of Womnr. 24 Teachers and O cent AUL SPECIALISTS. Last year tba most success!? in hietor? of laatitwtion. Ideal ham ? arreui\?kn|a. R?Im low for advantages offered f nWsnt HI . ? he? Am\ iffI- ?U ?r'?M