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It isn't fair
the way the work of the human race is
proportioned out and distributed. , j
Look at the house-drudgery of women. ^./JX*
Compare it in its hardness and wearing-/- ^
ness with the occupations of most men ! ^JfM
The only way out If-/,
of it is to use
and take the drudgery away
womanly and healthful and fit for her
to do. All the washing, all the clean?
ing, and hundreds of other things
besides, are made easy with Pearline.
State, XJocsul sm-d. IToxeigrn..
HPsaxts of tia.e
Bead "XSIS TIMES
send. Keep "CTp
$5.00 a, "Tear.
lie v. Mr. Leavltt Was Scandalized. ,
A debating society pursued an erratic
existence nearly a score of'.years ago on
the North Side, and the boys?now well
known 111011?havo told many laughable
instances of its checkered career.
Driven from 0110 homo to another, tho
members, on promise of good behavior,'
induced tho Lincoln Park Congrega?
tional church to allow them tho privi?
lege of meeting in one of the anterooms.
Tho first meeting, by ill luck, fell on
prayer meeting night.
Tho details of the evening arc told by
?10 of the members.
"Tho prayer meeting, in tho adjoin?
ing room, had just reached its most de?
vout stage when our boys fully woke up
to their evening's programme. Daniel
Snllivnn, now assistant stato attorney*
was in the chair and called upon David
Maxwell, at present of Maxwell Bros.,
box manufacturers, for a song.
"Tho solemn tones of prayer rose
front tho other room, when Dave took
tho rostrum and started to siug in a
loud voice tho classic lines of 'Tho Hun?
gry Man From Brccmer Street.'
Neither the song nor tho prayer was
ever finished. Rev. Henry Leavitt rush?
ed into our meeting, whito with anger.
" 'Get out of here 1' he shouted. 'Don't
yon ever show your faces inside of this
room again! You aro worse than tho
thieves whom Christ east out of the
synagogue!' "?Chicago Record.
The Old Virginia Fiddler.
Whut has become of the old Virginia
fiddler who was known and greeted by
all the young pcoplo for miles around?
Of old there could bo no Christmas in
tho country without him. Ho was as in?
dispensable as tho children's stockings,
tho eggnog bowl, tho roasted shoat, the
minoo pie or tho stuffed turkey. He was
the important functionary at every
danco nud called out tho figures in an
unchangeable voice, which grew fiercer
and fiercer, as ho .warmed uo to hia work.
Has'our old friend disappeared? Is Ins
fiddle cracked and his bow unstrung?
Has ho been unable to withstand tho In?
vasion of his territory by tho piano and
tho piano agent? Wo fear so. Wo hear
of him very seldom now, whereas in tho
times bygone at Christmas his name
was on every tongue, and his bow was
a scepter wielded over many willing
subjects. Happily for him that ho found
suitable eulogists before his typo was
extinct. Dr. George W. Bagby, that
great humorist and player upon tho
heart strings of men, in numerous
sketches, and the founder of this paper,
in his delightful, realistic reminiscences,
havo both described and immortalized
tho old Virginia fiddler. And well they
did, for he is becoming as rare as the
buffalo upon tho western prairies. But
well he served his day and generation
before ho laid down "de fiddlo und do
tindglug by Appearances.
"It must cost a lot to dress a woman
of fashion," said Uncle Hayseed tho
night that he and Aunt Marthy went to
"Yes, and from tho appearance of
some of 'em," returned Aunt Marthy,
"I think they must be just about half
She Wns Wrong.
The Lady?Yon here again?
The Tramp?Yes, kind lady.
"Well, I won't help you again. I
don't believe yon'vo done a thing all
"Indeed I have, umm. I just done 80
Language and I'atrloflmn.
Teacher?Never say "gents." The
proper word is ?'gentlemen." Now write
a sentence containing it.
Johnny's Sentence ? "This govern?
ment should recognize the Cuban in
surgentlemen." ? New York Sunday
SKETCHES BY M. QUAD
Looking; For HU Twenty-third.
We shouldn't have suspected that the
inuu iu the sruokiug oar with loug hair
aud a big hat aud a fierce expression of
countenance -was a western terror if ho
hadu't given tho fact away himself. He
looked just liko scores of other local
travelers in tho far west, and no one
had given him any particular attention,
when ho roso up apd uttered n whoop
"It's my time o' day fur killiu a man!
Is tbar anybody in this car who'll look
cross eyed at mo and gimme an excuse
fur sheddin his blood?"
No ouo accepted tho invitation. Wo
were a humble and peaceful dozen and
when tho terror drew and flourished a
revolver almost as long as his arm ov
ery man wished himself somewhere else.
"Won't somo of you call mo a liar?"
asked tho man, as ho seemed to grow
more Bavage?"Call me a liar or a
bluffer or order mo to sot down! I'm
dyin to kill a man, but I want some ex
cooso fur it I If you only kuowed how
loncsomo .1 was to add auother tally
mark to my list and mako tho number
Nobody wanted to call him names
and become his twenty-third victim,
and ho went on to say that ho had a
private graveyard at Cheyenne, a hos?
pital at Lnrnmionnd a free undertaking
establishment at Deep Cut. Ho was tho
man who downed Rocky Mountain Jim.
He was tho chap who cut short tho ca?
reer of Kansas Sam. It was his bullet
which laid Colorado Jack in the cold,
cold grave. He bad robbed stages, held
up trains, fought Indians, chased sheriffs
and filled tho laud with unmarked
graves. Ho hadn't done it to be mean,
bnt jur.t because killing of his fellow
men came natural to him tho same as a
tick comes natural to a clock. Ho had
hoped to kill at least nnu of us, but as
wo obstinately refused to givo him nu
exonso bo would ask that, ouo of us go
imck and ask tho conductor to telegraph
on to White Peak and have a bad man
in readiness ou the platform. Tho dozen
of us rose up us one many to carry tho
message, but at that moment a passen?
ger who had the cut of a preacher saunt?
ered iuto tho tho smoker with a cigar
in his fingers. Ho stopped short when
ho saw the terror with a gun, but only
for a second or two. Then ho advanced
and quietly asked:
"What. sort, of a circus is this?"
"It's my timo o' day fur killiu a hu?
man bein!" shouted the terror, as ho
waved his gruu around bis head.
"Oh, that's it! Give me that gun!"
"Whoop! Here's a victim. Say, stran?
ger, if yo know a prayer"?
Tbo preacher reached for tho gun,
seized it and raised a window and threw
it out. Then ho quietly said:
"Sit down there!"
"Bnt, say, do you know"?
"Yes, I know! Sit down or I'll throw
you after your old guu!"
The terror sat down. He sat dowu
with a jar and all at once, and the oth?
er lighted his cigar and calmly observed:
"You stay there until ready to leave
tho train, and wo don't want any more
of your talk.''
Thero was no shooting?no talking.
Tho terror leaned up against tho car and
closed his eyes and roth; for 30 miles
without opening, his mouth again.
When ho finally got oil' at a small sta?
tion, ho was asked if ho expected to find
his twenty-third there, but he limped
awn}* and pretended not to hear.
Her Faith In Sam.
In a little town under tho shadow of
the Cumberland mountains a traveling
showman had set up his tent and had a
giant on exhibition. There was no fraud
about tho giant. He was 7 feet tall and
weighed '2'M pounds, and tho sight of
him was well worth tho price of admis?
sion. I bad been in to gaze at him, and,
coming out, I met it little old woman
about ?? years of age, who was accom?
panied by a strapping young man of 23
"Is tbo giant in thar?" asked the
"Reg'lar giant, is he?"
"Is he bigger'n my boy Sum here?"
"Oh, yes! Your boy is only a child
compared to him."
"But Sam kin whop him, mister?he
kin whop that giant nssuah's yo' bo'n!"
"Yes, I kin whop him, drat his hide!"
"Yon don't mean that your Sam can
lick that giant?" I asked.
"That's what I menu, mister," re?
plied tho woman, "and he's gwiuu to do
it too. Sam has whopped everybody
around onr place and now he's gwinoto
whop this giant."
"I'll whop him, mother?I'll whop
him outer his bntes!" said Sam, with u
Itood deal of vigor.
I advised him to let tho giant alone,
but tho mother laid her baud ou my
shoulder and continued:
"Stranger, my son Sam is a fighter?
au awful fighter. Ho don't take wafer
fur niggers, white men, b'ars or giants.
He's cum dowu yero to whop this yero
giant, and if yo'll go in with us yo'll
see- a sight to remember.''
I turned abtrat and wont in with
them. We gazed at the big mnu for
three or four minutes, and then the
"Sam, he's party hefty, but you kin
"Ynas; I think I kin," replied Sam.
I winked at tho giant, and he caught
on. Sam peeled off his coat and spat on
his hands, and as ho was ready to pitch
in the mother said to me:
"Jest watch his smoke! He'll whop
that feller befo' yon kin count 50!"
But ho didn't. As Sam made a rush
tho giant caught him by the shoulders-,
lifted him on high and flung him elear
across the tent, and he came down with
such a crash that ho was unconscious
for five minutes. The mother was kneel?
ing beside him when he opened bis eyes
and feebly said:
"Ma, did anybody git whopped?"
"Yes, Sam," she replied.
"Was it the giant?"
"No. My sou, yon wasn't knee high
to a grasshopper ip that fout, He nick
en you up und gin yon ouo slam, and it
looks to mo as if you'd bo in bed fur tho
noxt six inonths. Some of you folks help
mo git him out to tho cart, and if we
meet anything on tho roud gwino home
I'll tackle it myself and down it or die!"
"M?, hain't I a fighter?" moaned
Sam, as wo lifted him into the cart
' 'No, my sou?not nuy more,'' she
soothingly answered. "You used to be a
fighter?an awful fighter?hut you run
up ng'in seven men rolled iuto ono and
was whopped in two yells and a hoot.
Jest cuddle right down, Sammy, till I
git yon home, fur your flghtiu days aro
over and you'll havo to go to hoein
co'n!" M. Qcad.
Hammering Sense Into Him.
' 'I'm cured,'* declared a young fellow
with good looks and au ahuuduuee of
animal spirits to several of his boon
companions tho other evening. "You
know that my sister Lena clerks down
town suid is frequently detained till
after dark. On such occasions she walks
home with a girl friend in the same es?
tablishment. Lena has always said that
if any man ever tried to stop them sho
would make it so hot for him that he
would try to fiud some honest employ?
ment, and I thought I'd just test her
courage for tho fun of tho thing.
"I did. When tho girls were hurrying
along about two blocks from home, I
sprang out of au alley, stuck an empty
revolver in their faces, ordered them to
throw up their hands and told them
that a scream from either of them would
mean immediate death. Tho other girl
went to screeching, but Lena was loaded
for bear and swiped me over the head
with an iron poker that had dangled
from her belt under her cloak. I tried
to explain, but she was too excited to
heed anything but tho job she had un?
dertaken. I was knocked down, but she
welted away till my scalp was slit in
20 directions. The t ries of the other
one brought a policeman, and oven alter
the whole thing was explained he in?
sisted on walking home with us to make
sure of my identity. Under tho impres?
sion that the policeman had clubbed uie
unmercifully, the old gentleman was
calling for a weapon with which to au
uihilatc him, when Lena hurriedly told
"I'm 2.1, but father kicked me around
tho house three times and then threw
me into hod. Ho informed me that the
average lunotiocould teach me common
sense, and I believed him. I've sworn
offen practical jokes."?Detroit Free
._? 11 ' 4mr?
Touch hut the yellow folds which keep
Tho crumbling dust that once was bloom,
And wafts of summer sweetness creep
Uko wandering ghosts to haunt the room.
And Htniight with dreaming eyes I see,
In homely garli of russet brown,
The maid whose lingers robbed the bee
To strew with sweets her wedding gown.
Fnlrcr than any flower thnt blows,
With bright face liftod to the day,
Led on by blessed thoughts, sho goes
Smiling along the garden way.
'Dm lilies cluster on thu stalk,
The sucking bees muke merry rout
Among tho thyme beside tho walk
And beds with wallflowers set about.
The sunshine tills the brooding sky,
The birds their nesting rapture speak,
And little careless winds go by
With warm, light touches on her cheek.
Her apron gathered on my arm.
Her dainty lingers gleaning slow.
She walks in youth's eternal charm.
This little maid of long ago.
And none but those who love enn guess
What thoughts her quiet pulses stir
Or what dear hopes her visions bless
Among the beds of luvender.
?Emily H. Miller in New York Tribune.
SOMF.T1UXO TO DF.PKXI) OX.
Mr. .lames Jones, of the drug firm of
Jones & Son, Cowdcn, 111., iu speaking
of Dr. King's Xew Discovery, says that
last winter his wife was attacked with
La Grippe, and her case Tew so serious
that physicians at Cowdcn and Puna
could do nothing for her. It seemed to
develop into hasty consumption. Having
Dr. King's Xew Discovery in store, and
selling lots of it, I ho took a bottle home,
and to the surprise of all she began to get
better from first, dose, and half dozen
dollar bottles cured her sound and well.
Dr. King's Now Discovery for Consump?
tion, Coughs and Colds is guaranteed to
do this gooil work. Try it. Free trial
bottles at Massie's Pharmacy, 100 Jeffer?
And Now Comes
with its encrvat- ?"ni"1TlGf
ing, depressing ^?F* "*?
effects upon the system. Nine
people out of. ten are in a
broken-down condition at this
season on account of impuri?
ties in the blood. Boils, pim?
ples, and an incessant weari?
ness tell the story. A few
bottles of S. S. S.,
just now will thoroughly
cleanse the blood and reno?
vate the entire system. It is
the best Spring tonic, because
it is purely vegetable, and is
the only blood remedy guar?
anteed to contain no mercury,
potash, or other mineral sub?
stance. S. S. S. is the best
system-builder on the market;
it imparts neu energy and im
proves the ap ?T^
on S. S. S. ^0 iferi?
There is Nothing Half as Good!
HIWIHIIlllil'i i I I irgggKCTcwg
Castoria is Dr. Samuel Pitcher's prescription for Infants
and Children. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor
other Narcotic substance. It is a harmless substitute
for Paregoric, Drops, Soothing Syrups, and Castor Oil.
It is Pleasant. Its guarantee is thirty years' use by
Millions of Mothers. Castoria destroys Worms and allays
fevcrishness. Castoria prevents vomiting Sour Curd?
cures Diarrhoea and Wind Colic. Castoria relieves
teething troubles, cures constipation and flatulency.
Castoria assimilates the food, regulates the stomach,
and bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. Cos?
toria is the Children's Panacea?the Mother's Friend.
"Casioria is an excellent medicine rorchil- | "Castoria Is so well adapted to children that
; .fen. Mothers have repeatedly told me of its i I recommend it as superior to any prescription
good effect upon their children." known to me."
Pr. C. C. Osgood. I h- a- AiicnuR, M. D., ^
Lowell Mass. I 1,1 So- Oxford St., Hrooklyn, N. Y.
"Castoria Is the best remedy for children of
which I am acquainted. I hope the day i.? not
far distant when mothers will consider the
real interest of their children, and use Castoria
instead of the various quack nostrums which
ore destroying their loved ones, by forcing
opium, morphine, ^oothiug syrup and other
hurtful agents down their throats, thereby
Beading them to premature graves."
Dfc. J. F. KlNCiua.ok.
" Our physicians h\ the children's depart?
ment have spoken highly of their experi?
ence in their outside practice with Castoria.
and although we only have among: our
medical supplies what is known as regular
products, yet we are free to confess that the
merits of Castoria has won us to look with^
favor upon it."
United Hospital ajjd Disprnsar-v,
A m.i.n C. Smith, Pres
The Centaur Company, 77 Murray Street, New York City.
The Oldest Hardware
Firm in Roanoke.
FOR SALE BY
J. J. CATOGN1.
IA SPECIALX YonrtaryorTo1>
tlary BI.UOU l'OISON permanently
cured In 16 to35 days. You can bo treated a}
homo for sumo prlcouniloreunioguiirau.
ty. If you prefer tocomohcre wo will cor*,
tract to pay railroad fareand hotel bills,and
nocharsre, if we full to euro. If you havo taken mer?
cury. Iodide potash, and still havo aches and
runic nlucouBl'iitclies in mouth, SoroThraut,
I'lmplcs, Copper Colored Spots, Ulcers on
any part of tho body, Hair or Evebrows falling
out. It la this Secondary til.tum POISON
we k no runt co to cure. Wo solicit tbo most obsti?
nat o dittos and cliallongo the world for a
cAso wo ciinnot cure. This UImoso has always
battled, tho skill of tho most eminent physi?
cians. S500.000 enpltul behind our uncondt.
tlounl guaranty. Absolute proofs sont sealed on
applicntwm. Address COOK REMEDY CO?
807 fil atonic Temple, CIUCAO.O. AJJL* ?
A.J.EVANS. P.M. BUTT.
C. B. PBIOB.
EVANS, BUTT & PRICE,
(Successor* to Evans Bros.)
Keep a Full and Complete Line of
Every Ar icle Known to the
Hardware Trade. We Invite
an inspect .on of Our Stock ami
22 Campbell Avenue.
Attorney-at-Law and Commissioner
Lock-Box 110, Roanoke, or Boom 10,
Second Floor Kirk Law Building.
l)r J. W.Sotnones
182 Salem Ave.
Loan Si Trust Co
f?Mr*. A. Inveen, residing nt 7*20 Henry
street, Alton. III., suffered from sciatic
rheumatism for over eight months. She
doctored for it nearly the whole of this
time.'"using various remedies recom?
mended by friends, and was treated by
the physicians, but received no relief.
She then used one and a half bottles ol
Chamberlain's Pain Halm, which effected
a complete cure. This is published at
her request, as she wants others similarly
afflicted to know what cured her. The 2.1
and MO cent sizes for sale by H. C.
Barnes'"He'puts up prescriptions.''
We have been here since
1888, and are as healthy as
ever. We pay cash for our
goods and guarantee every
price we make.
Come and see us.
i Gail Borden i
? Eagle Brandt!
I Condensed Milk I
- Sold\ everywhere.!?
Rao o M?Bi*n?gn?aB?J
aaanw Schedule in Effect
November 8, 1896.
WESTBOUND LEAVE ROANOKE '
5:15 a. m. (Washington and Chattanooga
limited) for Bristol, intermediate sta?
tions and the South and West. Pull?
man sleepers to New Orleans and Mem?
phis. Connects at Radford for Blue
Held and Pocahontas.
4:25 p. m., tho Chicago Express for Rad?
ford, Hluellold, Pocahontas, Keuova,
Cincinnati, Indianapolis, St. Louis,
Kansas City, Columbus and Chicago.
Pullman Bullet Sleeper Koanoke to
Columbus. Also for Pulaski, Wythe
ville, Bristol, Knoxville, Ch.attauooga
and intermediate points.
TRAINS ARRIVE AT ROANOKE.
From Norfolk 5:80 a. in.; 4:15 p. m.
From Hagcrstown 5::'0 a. m.; 4:10 p. m.
from Winston 1:15 p. in,
From Bristol and the West 1:35 p. m.:
11:10 p. m.
NORTH AND EASTBOUND, LEAVE
1:50 p in. for Petersburg, Richmoud and
1:45 p. m. for Washington, Hagcrstown,
Philadelphia and New York.
11:80 p. in." tor Richmond and Norfolk.
Pullman"sleepers Roanoke to Norfolk
and Lynchburg to Richmond.
11:25 p. m. (Washington and Chattanooga
limited) for Washington, Hagcrstown,
Philadelphia and New York. Pullman
sleepers to Washington via. Sheimn
tloah Junction and Baltimore and Ohio
Durham Division?Leave Lynchburg
(Union station) daily 4:00 p. m. for
South Boston and Durham anil inter?
Winston-Salem Division?L'ave Roanoke
(Union~stntion) daily 2:00 p. in. and
8:00 a. m. dally, except Sunday (Camp
Indl street station) for Rocky Mount,
Martlnsville, Winstou-Salem andlntei
For all additional information apply
at ticket office or to W. B. Bevill, General
Passenger Agent, Roanoke, Va.
M. P. Bragg, Traveling Passenger
"THERE IS SCIENCE IN NEATNESS.
BE WISE AND USE