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Two Singular Men. A .stronger with long hair, a white coat, a white hat with a crape band and other evidences of lunacy, entorod a Griswold street restaurant yesterday and said to the proprietor: "Sir, let me explain in advance that 1 uni a singular man. " "All right, sir. A singular man's or der is as good as any one else's." "I want six oysters on the half-shell on the left-hand half, if you please." The oysters were opened and placed before him. and when he hail devoured them he said: "Now take six oysters, run them through a clothes-wringer to remove the dampness, and fry them for me in olive oil. This order was also filled, when he called for a cup of salt and water, added milk and sugar and drank it down and asked for a bill. "I also desire to explain in advance that 1 am a singular man," replied the proprietor. "Your bill is $2." "Impossible!" "Just $2, sir." "But that is monstrous!" "Perhaps it seems high, but that's my singular way of charging for singu lar lunches." "I'll never pay it!" "Then I'll sadden your heart!" The sad proceedings were about to be gin when the long-haired man forked over and walked out. The lesson seem ed to sink deep into his heart, for he halted at a fruit store and, without any explanations in advance, paid the usu al price for a banana and carried it off without asking the seller to dip the ends in rose-water. ) He Was Dead Gone if He Couldn't Get a Divorce. "Jedge," said a colored man to an Arkansas jurist, "wid some powerful facts in my favor ken I get a divorce immediately from a mighty bad wo man?" "You can, by the production of cer tain evidence and due legal course, se cure a dissolution," replied the judge. "Dissolution," repeated the dissatis fied husband. "Dissolution, Dat'sone ob de fines' words' I eber heard. Ef I had been in possession ob dot observa tion, sah, I wouldh't hab been beat for justice of de peace. But, Jedge, I wants de dissolution right now." "What has your wife donoP" "She's been actin' like a white 'oo mau, an' isgittin1 above me. Dat's why yer hears my voice iu dis wail ob com plaint." "How has she acted like a white wo man?" "Why, she kisses a dog, sah. It was all right so long as she simply wont wid white wimmin. an' tried to run away wid a preacher, but when she tuck up wid dat dog I 'gun ter get sick. Now, jadga, 'sposen yerself wus ter go home an' fin' yer wife huggin' and kissin' a dog, wouldn't yer sorter look out fur a 'solution, as yer in high strung 'strono my termed it jist nowP" "I think, that I would," replied the judge. "An' den, of yer wife wuster set do dog up ter de table an' chaw beefsteak fur him, wouldn't dat seem sorter out rageous ter yer legal understandinP" "I quite agree with you, old man." "Wall, den, write out a divorce fur me now." "I can't do it." "But, jedge, I'so gone ef yer don't." "Why?" "Case I'se dun married anudder 'om " Arkansaw Traveler. Why He Didn't Explain. Some eight or ten years ago a silvery tongued chap who claimed to be a fruit- , tree agent swindled the farmers in a shameful manner, says the Detroit Free Press, and one resident of Nankin was so mad about it that he came to Detroit, searched the rascal out, and gave him a pounding on the street. After he got through his work he told tho fellow that he would lick him twice as bad if he ev er put eyes on him again, and it was a threat to be remembered and nursed. About three weeks ago the Nankin man was traveling in Washtenaw County, and as he journeyed along the highway he met a traveler who so closely resem bled the fruit-tree swindler that he halt ed and called out: "Here you are again, you bold-faced rascal!" "Yes, I'm here," was the calm reply. "Well, so'm I, and I'm going to lick you until you can't holler! I said I'd do it, and I always keep my word. Climb down here!" The stranger "dumb" without a pro test, shedding his coat as he struck the ground, anil a fight began. In about two minutes he had used up the farmer and was coolly replacing his coat. "See here," said the man from Nan kin as he wiped his nose with a bur dock, "you fight better than you did cightyears ago." "Well, I dunno. This is my first af fair with you." "Didn't I wollop you in front of the Detroit Postoffice eight years agoP" "No, sir! I was in Australia up to a year ago." "Ana you never saw me before?" "Never!" "And was never in Nankin P" "Nover!" "Well, I'll bo hanged! Come to look at you I can see that you are not the man! Why on earth didn't you explain, or ask me toP You must have thought me mistaken." "Oh, yes, I knew you were mistaken, but I bad just discovered that I had driven seven miles on the wrong road and was wishing some ono would come along and give me two words of sass. I didn't want any explanations about it. A rotten sweet apple will cure that black eye in three or four days, and salt and water will tighten your front teeth in a week or so. I feel fifty per cent, better, and I'm ever so much obliged. So long to you!" A man at Kanway, rv. , tnea to .loinesticate a blue heron. Ho lost one eye, several pinches of flesh, a part ol Ml trOOTl and his bird, for in the struggle for mastery ho was obliged to shoot and kill his pet The recent decision of tho supremo court of Florida, making all railroad property in the state liable to taxation, will add about tS.000,000 to tho taxable property of the state. Banishing a Bad Husband. A New Albany citizen, who has an excellent but gritty wife, while engaged in thrashing in Clark county, Indiana, paid hu addresses to a young lady up on whom he passed himself for a young man. The wife heard of her husband's trick and visited the young lady, telling her she was the loyal, legal wife of her suitor. The young lady said she could not help it if he was married, that she loved him. The wife replied: "All right; I'll fix things." The husband returned home on Friday evening last, and his wife began to investigate him on his conduct, telling him she had been to see the young lady and knew all about his peccadilloes. "Don't you think she's pretty P" he asked. The wife's answer came in the shape of a fiddle over the husband's head, making a wreck of the instrument. He was then hustled out of the house, and passed the night out among strangers. He was still a wanderer on Saturday evening. Miss Anthony's Trunks. That is a characteristic if not true story of Susan B. Anthony, who left St. Louis, the other day, for Leavenworth, with two medium-sized trunks for bag gage. At first the baggage-clerk ob jected to check them both on a single ticket, and demanded pay for extra weight "But," said she", "they to gether weigh less than an ordinary-sized 'Saratoga." I distribute the weight in this way purposely so save the man who does tfle lifting." The clerk looked at her incredulously. "And you tell me seriously that you do this simply out of consideration for thebaggage-manP" "I do!" "How long have you done itP" "All my life. I have never purchased a large trunk, for fear I might add to the overburdened baggage-man's afflic tions." The clerk walked off and conferred with the head of the department Then the two returned together. "Do I un derstand." said the chief, "that you, of all women, have been tho first to show humanity toward railroad people P" "That is a tenet of my creed." "Check that baggage!" said the chief, with emphasis;" and when you run for office, Miss Anthony, you shall have my vote." "Mine, too!" echoed the clerk, handing her the checks, and the trio parted, happy. Hats. Hats were discovered about tho time thoy capped the climax, as this is the first intimation we havo of any head covering. Ono of the pleasantcst ways to get a hat is to bet ono with another fellow and lose it, and then the other fellow gets it. This recipe is intended for "the other fellow." On going into a house usually loaveyour hat in the hall, on the rack, especially if there are more there, as this enables you to select ono of the best as you go out. The old fashioned way of carrying bricks in a hod was, was for some time, obsolete, the hat being generally used. Of course the wear and tear on the hat is greater with this than the old way, more especially if the lamp-post gets away from you, and the hat manages to fall underneath. And, in connection with the above, it may be remarked that the more light-headed a man appears the more people suspect there are Dricks in his hat. Hats are sometimes used to mako omelettes in, but for this it is necessary to be familiar with the different stages and changes which occur, and also to know "eggsactly" how to do it. 'Tis true hats are made of different sizes for people of different ages, but a 2-year-old child can wear his grandfather's hat with ease and some rags wound round his head. Hats are sometimes very musical, and a display of this peculiar ity rarely fails to create amusement. Whenever there is air enough the hat band will usually precede the man at a proper distance until the wind gives out The time is usually lively, the man selecting tho double quick. When you come home at night with the topofybui high hat on the top of your head, the brim all gone and the band hanging around your neck, your safest excuse is "Have been to the club." . A Tough Witness. During a recent trial, it was thought important by counsel to determine the length of time that a certain quarter of beef remained in an express-wagon in front of plaintiff's store before it was taken by the defendant. The witness under examination was a German, whose knowledge of English was limit ed; but he testified in a very plain, straightforward way to having weighed the meat, and to having afterward car ried it out and put it into the wagon. Then tho following ensued: "State to the jury how long it was after you took the meat from the store and put it in the wagon before it was taken away." "Now I shoost cand dell dat I thinks 'bout dwelve feet. I say no near er as dat" "You don't understand me. How long was it from tho time the meat left the store and was put into the wagon before it was taken away by tho de fendant?" "Now I know not what you ax dat for. Der wagon he was back up mit dat sidewalk, and dat's shoost as long as it was. You dell me how long dor sidewalk was. Den feet? Dwelve feetP Den I dells you 1mw long it was." "I don't wantrto find out how wide tlx- sidewalk was, but I want to know," speaking very slowly, "how long this meat was in the wagon before it was taken awayP" "O, dat! Veil, now, I not sold my meat so. I all time weigh him; never measure meat, not yet But I dinks about dree feet. I know not, shentle mens, how is dis. I dell you all I can, shoost so good as I know. "Look here, I want to know bow long it was before tho meat was taken away after it was put in the wagon P" "Now you dry and get me in some scrapos. Dat moat was shoost so long in der wagon as he was in der shop. Dat's vot I told you. Dat meat vas (h ad meat. Ho don't got no longer in den dousen year, not mooch." "That will do." Alary uauanan, a lexas wiuow, owns o0,000 sheep, and tho nialo members of the community are to a man willing to bo "Marv's little lanil.." A Firm Settlement The following notice by a Virginia blacksmith indicates readjuster senti ment on the part of Mose's partner: "Notis: De copartnership heretofore resisting betwixt me aud Mose Skinner is hereby resolved. Deui what owe Wie firm will settle wid mo, and dem what the liriu owe will settle Wid Moses." a a Strength of an Egg. Some years ago an engineer, now prominent in the official manngement of our great railroads, was superintending the construction of a new road in Penn sylvania. After supper one evening ho strolled into the "settin'-room" of tho country tavern, where some twenty men were seated around the stove, smoking and chatting. A regular down-East Yankee was expounding the remarkable strength of the arch, its usoand applica tion in mechanics, and illustrating his remarks by pawing a half-bushel meas ure. "You ain't no idee," said he, "how strong tho arch is if ye set it right if ye know how. Now, thoro's tho egg nothin's got a prettier arch than the egg, and if you set it right it's mighty strong. Why, I kin set an gg on this floor in sich a shape that ye can't break it with this half-bushel measure." A general murmur of sneering disbe lief ran around the room; but the Yan kee was game. "I said I kin, and I kin, and I'll bet the drinks for the crowd on it" Our engineer hated a Yankee, and though a reserved man, hu could not permit a Yankeo to bluff a whole party with such an arrogant and preposterous statement so he quietly said: "I will take that bet" An egg was brought in from the kitch en and handed to the Yankee. He took it and stood it upon tho floor in the cor ner of the room. Our engineer did not even attempt to fill a square corner with a round meas ure, but paid for the drinks and retired, sadder and wiser. He Quit the Cattle Business. "I shall never handle cattle any more," said Patrick Healy the other day while talking with a Wyoming stoek man. "I got discouraged a good .many years ago. I had heard that cat tle would yield all tho way from seventy-live to ninety per cent, profit so I got 500 head and let nature take her course. The following spring I started to brand my calves and count up my profits. My style of branding was laborious and unsatisfactory. I would catch a calf, throw him down, build a sage brush fire, heat my branding iron, brand him and then start after another. This consumed a half an hour to tho animal, the best I could do, and it looked as though it would take till about Christmas to brand my calves. However, the number didn't hold out by one-half, and as I was just closing tho branding, mennwhilo cussing my luck in the stock business, 1 one day noticed, with my field-glass, several miles away on tho plains, a cow-boy. who acted so strangely that I resolved to get behind a little knoll and watch him. As he got nearer I discovered that ho had a little charcoal stove a tached to his saddle behind, and also that he had a branding iron secured to a 200-foot lariat, which ho threw with wonderful accuracy. The cowboy was an employe of Mr, Tinnier, a neighbor of mino who had a very large herd of cattle and made the raising of cattle a very prosperous business. "Instead of building a sage-brush fire and going through the tedious prootM of throwing down an animal to brand him, ho just heated the branding-iron in the little tinner's stovo as he rodo along and when within 100 feet or so of a calf, just threw it with that deadly aim of his and Mr. Tinnier was ahead a $15 animal. "I decided right there that I would not raise any more cattle. Science had the bulge on nature. Natural increase is all right where it does not have to compete with science." "I just went to Mr. Tinnier and said: Look here, Mr. Tinnier, I want to sell you my little bunch of cattle at a fair figure. 1 want to see you have them because you deserve them. A man who can bring science to his aid the way you can ought to have this herd, and I "believe you will ultimately havo the outfit anyhow. Things seem to point that' way now and I wanted to facilitate matters by selling you tho bunch before it is everlastingly too late. "My cows feel just tho same as I do about it They are willing to do every thing they can that is honorable in or der to forward the cattle interests of the country, but they can't compete with your statesmanship. They feel hurt and very much depressed by it and so do I. I just want to hasten tho result by letting you have the cattlo be fore they got too much reduced. "He saw that I was feeling very un happy over my cattlo deal, and he kind ly took them off my hands. I have nover owned any cattle since that. I havo seen many of my neighbors ac cumulate large herds and big fortunes, but it had no temptations for me. I know that with nothing to start with but the wreck of a bull train and ono of those self-registering branding-irons, men who didn't know tho difference be tween a maserickand the Venus of Milo havo become millionaires, but that don't affect mo any. I just squeeze along tho best I can and raise sheep at a profit of thirty-five to forty per cent It is not so rapid, of course, as the cat tle business under careful manage ment, but a man feels better when he meets the vigilance committee. Mr. Nathan Apnloton, of Boston, as president of tho Newport Society for Protection to Animals, publicly stated that hereafter the society will take steps to prevent, fox-hunting. "Help yourself and others will help you." But don't fail to m Kidney-Wort for all liver, kiln-, and bowel complaints, piles, costivt ness, etc. The demand of the peo ple for an easier method of prepar ing Kidney-Wort has induced the proprietors, the well-known whole sale druggists, Wells, Richardson & Co., of Burlington, Vt, to prepare it for sale in liquid form as well as in dry form. HALL'S Hatarrh pure Is Reoommendod by Physicians! SIOOJEWAEJ 7c manufasturs und sell ltwltba positive guarantee that It will pur any caso, '! we will forfait the abovaiiwuut ifn iniis in a single Instance. It la unlike y olhe.t Catarrh remedy, M diatrsulng disease, ask your Druggist for It, and ACCBFT KO IMITATIOM OB SUBSTITUTE. If BJ has not got it, ssnd to us aud we wll forward iimmxliatoly. Price, 76 cpatsper bottle. F. J. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo. Ohio. UE-UMA-TiS! I tut It Cut all v.o wJr.ful Clioaaoa cf tlio KEY 8,1 IVCR AND COWLLG. 7.t clo :'.o.t t'io nrrtem of the asrid ?olion Utal Onuses Um dreoUul sutf.rlng which uii.y ' ' : -i: mi of r.'ioutnaV.ant can ro.Oiat. V :;;.; AKDO OF CAS33 Of tho - Utat l'orrw of this tc.Tjoli d'aervn tiara V. u 'nl'-.h'.y reliovotl, and iu ahor: U.-o rSRPEOTLY cur.t:. !:: . ft. tl.'inou ur.V, SO Ml BT paUiGSTS. i f emu taamthymalL S, m r. : IAV.I SON fs Co.,I3'irUr Lumber Yard ! PLANING MILL ! GEO. W. OAKS -DEALER IN- LUMBER. -FINE STOCK OF MOULDINGS SCROLL SAWING A SPECIALTY. OWOSSO. MICH. " SOOTH and WEST," ONLY 50 ( KNTS A YE AK. It U ii Irstalass AKrinilturnl paper, mililtal'cd srini-iiioiitlily All who snul t lt I r Mtbscrintlnn with B0 cunts, between now and December it, we will send them tii paper until January it 18M. Su 1 1 . I . coini'K imiliuiiiiin lrtniiuilifts pent free on application Add re-.. "SOUTH aim WEST," MO N. M St., st. Louis, Mo. Tflmted AGENTS I For Gen. Dodge's new boo) THIRTY-THREE TEARS AMONl OUR WILD INDIAN) Introduction by Gen. W. T. Sherman. Contains truthful and graphic record of the author's obscrv: tions, thrilling adventures and exciting cxpericno during T? years among tho wildest tribes of tt Great West. Splendidly illustrated with Ste Plates, Fine Engravings and Superb Chromo-Litl ograph Plates In fifteen color3. Has received tl unqualified endorsement of tin- most eminent men our country. Gen. Grant writes: "The best boc on Indian and Frontier Life ever written." Bishc ,Wiley, of Cincinnati, says: , "A much needed boc and one of immense value." Chicago Interior! ". book of standard and substantial value." Chicaa Advance: "No othea book contains as full ac accurate account of the Indians. " Chicago Tribunt " It reads like a romance, and is far superior to at book ever published on the subject." The Chica Inter Ocean ttk It vividly nortravs the Indian ju as he is.0 rj w . QQQ fA ATSTlTrnQ Wanted at once, to supp 999 AUJSJNlM this grand book to t' waiting thousands! It is the opportunity of a lil time for rapid money making I Remember, n book, superbly Illustrated : immense demand ; exc? sivc territory and Special Terms. Send for ill trated circulars, with full particulars, to A."C. NETTLETON A CO., Chicago, Read what $1.00 will do. On receipt of fl.oo we will send City and Coun trt one year to any address in the United States or Canadas, and in addition will give each subscribe! 90 Choice Books, each book containing a complktb story or first class novel by a celebrated American or European author, handsomely illustrated and bound in pamphlet form, and send them free of postage. These books bound in cloth, and bought separately at the book store would cost at least $1.00 each. Below we give the names of the gifted authors and titles of the books we give away to every subscriber to Citt and Countbt : A Ooldkn Dawn. Bytheauthorof " Dora Thome. " Enoch Abdbn and Othbr Pobms. By Alfred Tennyson. Blub Eybs and Golfkn Hair. By Annie Thomas. Dudley Cablbon. By Miss M. E. Braddon. A Gilded sin. By the Author of " Dora Thorno SistebRose. Ilv Wilkie Collins. Distinouishbd Peoplb. ANNB. By Mrs. Henry Wood. Valerie's' Fate. By Mrs. Alexander. The History and m ystkry ok common Things. Essica: or. The Mysteby or the Headlands. By EttaW. Pierce. Thb Laubel Bush. By Miss Mulock. The Lady or the Lake. By sir Walter Scott. Amos Barton. By George Eliot Grimm's Fairy Stories for the Youno. Captain Albck's Legacy. By M. T. Caldor. David Hunt. By Miss Ann 8. Stephens. Henry a kk km.. By Mrs. Henry Wood. , Reaping the Whirlwind. By Mary Cecil Hay. Retribution : or, The Mysteby or the Mill. By Margaret Blount. For $1.25 City and Country and Thirty Books. On receipt of fl.25 we will send City and Coun try, one year the above twenty books and the fol lowing ten books, all post paid : Jean Tngelow's Poems. Thb Cities or the New Wobld. HbbTRR. By Beatrice M. Butt. Fancy Work and House Adornment. Bell Brandon. By P. Hamilton Myers. The Cricket on the Hearth. By Charles Pickens. The 1st Bank Note. By Mrs. Henry Wood. Missing. Bv Marv Cecil Hav The Yellow Mask. By Wilkie Collins. A Bride from the Sea. By the Author of " Dora Thorne." The above are the most astounding offers of tho century. The already very extended circulation of City and Country and the great demand for these works enable us to make this unparalleled offer. City and Country is a 24 page, illustrated, Mtersry and Agricultural monthly which is destined to have an enormous circulation and tremendous in fluence, and is already a recognised leader. Any one sending in the money who can honestly say they are not perfectly satisfied with this bargain can have their money promptly refunded. We guarantee entire sntlufnction. Money by Post-Office order or registered letter may be sent at our risk. Address CITY AND COUNTRY C0.f 917, 319. A Ml W. 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C. M. LINING-TON, Importer, t4 & 147 Wabash Avenue, CH1CAG O Rupture flF1" Its Relief and Cure as certain as day follows day by Dr. J. A. Sherman's Method, With safety from the dangers of Htranulntion and without the injury trusses inflict. Those wishing proof should send 10 cents for his book, containing likenesses of bad cases before and after cure, also endorsements of professional gentlemen, Ministers, Merchants, Farmers, and others who have been cured. Trusses and Rupture sooner or later affect the nervous and mental system, bring on organic diseases, Impottncy, destroy energy and social desires, making the young old and the old useless. Principal office 251 Hroadway New York. For the convenience of Western patients Dr. Sherman will be at his office, cor. 4th and Market streets, St. Louis, Mo., from November tat to December 20th. Nio w BARGAINS ! Prices. My stock of School Books, &c, is Complete. DOCTORS U. S. MEDICAL AND SURGICAL ASSOCIATION DETBOIT, MICH. 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