Newspaper Page Text
i. ('' n.
frhf M i .
TUh ooly Democratic NbWijuptr ia
One jear .2.t0
Six months I.Cil
tuieo months 60
Ttoahovc raks will be ityUly ad
hered to iovariaMj ia advance.
W. 11. nrininetool,
Editor anJ Proprietor.
OUR FLORIDA LETTER.
St. Andiews, Fla.,
Jane 25, 1877.
'Ob, magnet South! Oh, glis
tening, perfumed 3outh! Again
in Florida, I float on transparent
lakes I cross the hammock lands,
'or through p.easant openings, or
hrough dense f jre3ts. 1 836 the
parrots In tho woxld -I see the
pair-paw tree and the blooming
tile," and this is all the woods of
Florida. Some of uj, unfortu
nate, see and feel things here
that are not, perhaps, as attract
ve as parrots and paw paw trees.
It mast be wise to bo a poet, and
soar so easily above the unpleas
ant things of life. Reading this
pi'tical rhapsody oa tho "per
fumed South" brought to miua an
encounter when I first came to
this "magnet." Arriving In the
Imorning at Fe isacola, I was ob
liged to wait a conveyance to this
place. A party of us strolled up
to the hotel for dinner. On en
tering tho reception room I no
ticed that the only occupant Was
an oil lady, of some two hundred
pound avoirdupois, fantastically
'uressod. After a glance I became
engaged in a lively chat with our
party, aul thought no more of the
itrangor until suddenly acooited
vy her :
. "Be you a going to settle in
"If I liko it." 1 answered.
"VMl, you wont like it. For
1 do say it's the meanest hole I
;ver got in to. Me and my old
.ban come down here abotlt a year
ago, and now we've maniged to
est Hnnev cnouih to tret back
Vith, and we're ijoing jils't as fast
1 m LrVf','o'tning but a shaider '
o watt I was when I come 'here.
And I've scrati'he 1 every bit of!
the original -hi le off niy Body. I;
wasn't sure the Ihas would laave
'enough of ma to carry North.
'Me and my old mm want to die a
natiul death; wo don't want to be
at up' alive. AaJ such a lone
some place a bjdy might just a
well be buried alive. And then
they tell ma so much about the
timers hete; but they ain't of no
account ; there ain't no mito of
frugrancj in any of u'eni."
Our party wa3 in an uproar.
This w3 a damper, "sure and
certain," and shows at Once the
Jifferenco between a poetic and a
toraaiin '.ensj view oi life; With
'the poet it was paW-paw with
tha fantastic old lady it was
scrateh-scratch. The old lady was
in tha main correct, as my subse
quent experience has proven. I
have no doubt that she lost some
solid substance during ber stay,
though there was no particular
evidence of her having becorao
shadtwy. I have frequently
thought of her since the advert of
flea9Thi8 summer, and I am fcuro
that though she m.iy bo hungry
and suffering, she will havo tho
consolation of dying a natural
death. I would call the attention
ofunole Sammy Snapp and other
stout people to the fact that we
gentlg but sorely evaporate in
Florida. There is no doubt the
fleas had something to do with the
old lady's decline, but other causes
are at work here far more power
ful. A friend was accosted tho
other day by another whom he
had not met for a year, with
"where is the rest of you V Tho
'rest" consisted of forty pounds,
"gone like a bubble tbat bursts in
Sun" iu ono short year.
The emotional side of one's na
ture pets finely developed in ilea
time. I am not suro but this ia a
wise provision of nature, to keep
i nctivo in this climate. 1 stop
ped for a w:ek, not long since,
with some menus in a viguuui
lng town, and to illustrate how
nnn' mmnera i?tt polished. I
www w -
will relate or picture a scene that
occurred during that time, im
agine an evening party of finely
dressed ncrtnern peopia m utui
tod conversation. Suddenly ouo
Of tho party vunuhed. No excuse,
ho apology, no sailing gracefully
' Vt)L. Vlli. . GREENEV1LLE, TENNESSEE, TfttJftsb'AY JULY 26, 1877 ' ' NO. 43.
- 1 - ' - - 1
- . i
just a momentary commotion &iid
the company becomes gainfully
aware that it is ininua one. Airs
and graces are omitted for a time,
and existence becomes a naked
fact- Just here I draw the cur
tain as Bhe flees (fleas.)
I have had but little experience
in this lower connty. For all I
know to the contrary, every man,
woman and child in the Whole
land may be dodging aronnd in
pdrsuit of these litle pests. But
as I have never seen a native dis
play any activity in this way, I
conclude there is something pecu
liarly juicy and appetizing in us
northerners, and that we are re '
ceiving an undue attention from
these lively little fellows.
I cannot as yet say much about
the greater interests ot this com
iho'nweallh; Education is yet in
its infancy, while musio was still
born in Florida. If the spirits of
the departed ever hover over us,
you may be sure no Beethoven,
Handel or Moiart; if by chance
they find themselves in hearing of
Florida sounds, will ever remain
long I wish I could describe to
you the vocal gymnastics of this
benighted people. Did you ever
hear a backwoods or camp meet
ing choir attempt the praise of
Almighty God in such strains as
torture tho ears of ordinary mor
tals, and must be agonizing to a
well regulated God ? Then it you
hav 1 will give you a faint idea
of church music here when I tell
you is is heavenly melody com
pared to the sounds produced by
a Florida choir. (, My soul pants
for one strain of real niubic. I
think now I Would not be over
fastidious; could be extent with
less than Wagners or Thomas'
0Ttnicsvrai?-7-ir tu- vuim.j
stanil 16 hear a hand organ, grind
out that.mo3t absurd of all times,
"Shoo Fly." You will conclude
from ' this that service is not a
$5,000 choir. . .
Oh I the degeneracy of tho 19th
century ! How sacred things are
turned to carnal uses 1 Imagine
tho "light fantastic toe'' at a pic
nic here last wee", tipping about
to Moody and Sankey's hymns,
"Hoid the Fort' and "rull to the
Shore" played in double qnick
lime. Is it past belief, Mr. Edi
tor, so rapid are tho advances of
science that you and I will yet
"Nearer, riiv (Jo J, to Thee."
SLA.NG IN THE DOMESTIC CIRCLE
Say, pa,' Said in up town boy
one day as be came home late
from being kept in at school, threw
down his book, pinched the cat
till be made her howl and thetl sid
ed into his seat at tho dinner-table
'wasn't Benedict Arnold ft reg'lar
A what my son?' said the pater
nal relative laying dewn his . knife
and fork with surprise.
'Why, a crooked hairpin, you
know; a ghark, a sort of fraud
He was a traitdr Id his country
my son; but where" on earth did
you learn such language as that?' ..
'Oh! pull down your vest now
father and don't get on your ear
about it. I'll tako'Bomo o' that
roast beef, please.'
Why, Willie,' interposed his
mother, 'I am surprised at your '
flh: t'm oftlid. I am.' broke ,iiY
the youngster. 'Nothing mean
about mo. Fonv up tbat beef now
nld man. or there'll be a tin roof
or two around this house.'
Tub following rules should be
strictly observed bypersons having
occassion to visit a printing omce:
Sit down quietly.
Subscribe for the paper'.
Fay for it in advance.
Don't touch the type
Keep six feet from tho devil,
llafids off manuscript.
Don't talk to the compositors -Don't
carry off the exchanges.
Never bez a paper.
Geutlcm!n observing theso rules
when entering a printing office will
greatly oblige tho editor and need
tint (towitt gitst xn&
WANTED TO SELL A BALD-HEADED
MAN A HAIR BRUSH.
A long-waieted lady, having a
eeduotive smile and winning ways,
called unon a Detroit shoemaker
yesterday b conVinoe him that he
needed a metal hair brush a nov
elty just odt and in the bands of
canvassers. After bhe bad put on
about five minutes' talk, be uncov
ered his bald head and asked :
'Where is there anything to
biush with it?' .
Then your wife could Use it,'
My wife is dead, poor soul.'
Then your daughters.'
I have no daughters, and the
only son I have went crazy from
brushing his hair too much.'
'I believe this brush would help
new growth of hair on your
scalp she Bald, unwilling to let
'Don't wank any hair there, he
replied. 'I was never so happy
as sinoe I became bald-headed.'
'Well, don't you ever brush
your scalp?' . ;
JNever. 1 nave u sanu-paper-ed
four times per year, and the
rest of the time it must get along
the best it can.'
I am in great need of money,'
she remarked as she looked
around the shop.
'So am 1,' ne replied, as he
pegged away, 't havetl't Been
but three dollars in the last two
'It would almost be an act of
charity to buy of me,' she plead
'1 never gave to charity, mad
am. I have not given a shilling
to any one or to any object for
the last thirty years
'Yoar Becond wife might want
I shall never marry again. I
hate all women.4
Then you don't think you
could use it?' she asked, as sbo
rdSe lip .
'Yee, I could take it and brush
my dog's ears clean back to his
tail, and brush his tail cleatl over
his nose, b" I could make It over
fnto a Bnow ehovel, or sell it to
some saw-mill, or repair my ft heel
barrow with it, lut I said 'no,'
and 1 shall stick to it. I'm bald
headed, ugly-tempered, einfu1,
malicious and desperate, but I
pride myself on keeping my wurd;
and; madam, if metal hair birches
and t aid-headed men and female
ageUs were as thick as tha but
tons On a girl's dress, my thun
derous voice would still try :
N o-u-g-h no Detroit Free
A BLUE-GLASS EXPERIMENT. ,
Mr. Blimiey read about blue
glass until he became a convert
to the doctrine. Having a .boy
baby about three months old who
has been somewhat puny and has
giveh evidenco of weak lungs, he
had an east window of his house
paned with blue glass and exposed
him. to the sun'fl rays for an hour
or two for several days. Last
Sunday being a sunny day, the
baby was left under the blua win
dow for three hours, at t'uo con
clusion of which time he got up
and went down Btairs, declaring
that ho had bad enough of that
''doggoned foolishness.' Oh Mon
day he was exposed for four hours.
At li o'clock cn Monday night
he threw his off-foot into Mr.
Blimley's stomach, and knocked
the lower portion of Mrs. Blim
ley's chin off with his right fist.
As Mr. Blimiey lay under tho
washstand trying to decide wheth
or he had been struck by light
ning oi wa8 in on Ashtabula dis
aster, young Blimiey Bet up such
a yell that neighbor next door
went down in his cellar and hid
under an empty flour barrel, un
der the impression that a general
insurrection bad broken out. As
soon as Mr. Blimiey recovered
Hufiic.ienilv he procured a ham
mer ami amdhked evrrv pane of
UIV - . . -- - f -
blue glass be could find. They
now keep young Blimely gagged
und chained to on anvil. .
Dom Pkdro has boon having a
' i ....... jr
ticw in. Scotland;'
. A v '. :.i 1 2 tf::
orrmosf.f - ( gu.at nnl rar not,
"LOt 18 RICHER FAR
I BT LOCI6B . CBHAlt.
Id tit sort and crimson twilight,
Ere the lamps of eve were lit,
But maid, who watched the sparrow
Out and In the trea tops flit;
Watched tLem.ai they aild together
Jltjidful only of "to-day;"
Tillahe shyly, aoftly whispered,
"I jCan triut as well as they;
Li)ve is richer far than gold,.?. '
Hearts are never bought or soldi''
' H. . .
"I may never in a mansion
With my liveried torrents dwell
Never in resplendent jewels, ,.
Srrive my fowttred pride to qoell
But when sweet and tender twilight
Floods the earth, tho air, tho sea,
Love may bring my home such blfss-
That iho world shall envy me; ioga
: i Love is richer far than gold ; ,
yllcarts are never bough tor sold.
"Life can bring to me no .burdens
. Tlmt for lov I could not bear;
And by me no wealth or station- .
Would he prized love did not share
Not tho riches of a kingdom
D' I covet. Mine to own
One true heart, whoss every impulso
I for ine, and, me alone:
i Love is riciitr far than gold;
' j Hearts are p.ever bought or sold.
- 1 . iv.
Out and in the sparrows flitted,
- And tho mill Jen to her side,
All' iincliiucd, came tho louver .
Whohad won her for his bride,
Lojre had lured (he heart of n.anhood
Lve bad won the maiden lair; ,.
And togethei,then,they whispered;.
2oy or care, hencefoith, we share;
Lava is richer far than gbln;
rjettrta are nevcrr bought or Mld!"
mk. Parker tells a story.
Jd; Parker sat in Mr. Johnson's
plac Jast evening, a shade of
melancholy upon on hi3 usually
placid brow. At last he turned to
his f 'iend on 1 said: "Johnson jou
remember the race I had after the
b'J-ljlfeJ .push, me oSLiha
Bleecker street car?''
."0 yes, I remember,' said Mr.
'Speaking of boys,' resumed Mr.
Parker, "did I ever tell you about
the boy and the policeman?
"Sad, sad story, but if police
man wil. let tin i. temper rise, and
if boys will annoy them well,
well, I suppose eucli are intended
as a lesson,' said Mr. Parker with
'Do tell us the story,' urged Mr.
"I suppose 1 might as well,' said
Mr; Parker. 'It was the 15 day of
last June, at exactly 3.15 o'clock
in the aftcrnbon. I know because
I looked cy watch just before the
the ,"'. Mr. Parker hesitated
fcr a word a monent, and then
said 'affair.' 'I wa3 going up
Broadway, and had reach Broome
street, when tbe first peculiar and
Unwonted thing I observed was a
6mall-boy seated upon the steps
of an omnibus, also going up town.
Suddenly I saw an officer, who
placed a whistle to his lips and blew
a shrill blast; The sound of the
whistle seemed to affect the small
boy, for he raised hand gracefully
to a level With his face placed his
thumb upon tho tip of his exceed
ingly pug dose, and moved hi.fl
fingers in the air. . He accompani
ed this salute with the remark,
'Blow 'away, ole Prussian blue.'
Thia seemed to anger tho police
man, who did oloW away at a
" -It's time tef 0 ter work;
don't yer hear de brass foundry a
whistlinT screamed the small-boy,
"The officer mrde a dash after
him; tbe email-boy clambered down
and a chase ensued. ' The
situa'ion of affairs at this point of
my Btory can be more easily com
prehended by a reference to this
Hero Mr. Parker executed a few
rapid strokes with a piece of chalk
ri4;on a elate whereon he had been
scoring points in a recent game.
Here,' said he, 'is tho map:'
Figure A represents the police
man. . , ,
' I m i
Fipure B is a correct drawing
of his club. "
'Figure 0 is a rough sketch of
'Now,' continued Mr. '. Parker,
'keep your eye on the map and
you will understand ; what I am
about to Bay. A flourished B in
bis right hand and, daahed off in
pursuit of -C. C,fan aster than
A, probably spurred to exertion
by the fear, of B. A swore and
C tore along a a great rate. All
at once 0 slipped onX (an un
known quantity perhaps a ba
nana, perhaps an orange peel). - A
gained, and B was raised .high in
avif bver the devoted he.aa of 0,
when 0 arose add Iran rapidly
dowj a narrow street.' v
Well?' said Mr. Johnson, ex
citedly! Well what?' asked Mr. Park
'Tell us the rest! did be kill
the bov ? Finish the story.'
That's all,-, said Mr. Parker,
aolmnly. N. "If. World.
IS 0 AT ONE FELL 8Wo8p.
"I should like 'rt oyster," said
William Driscoll, a rather well
drecsed but intoxicated young man
last Wednesday evening, as be
staggered up to the counter of an
oystcr-salocn in Seventh avenue.
"Sew!" asked Henry Smith,
who stood behind tbe counter ham
mering the bivalve'.
"I want mor'n two; you just
split 'em open and I'll eat 'em.""
Accordingly Henry split and
William ate until, with tired arm
and perspiring brow, the eplitter
laid down his weapon -at ,. the lone
hundred and fititth oysters "and
remonstrated. . .
You'll kill youreolfr, said !,:
"Certainly take tho rcat; that's
what I'll do; split away, young fel
ler. , . ,
"But," said Henry, hesitating
"suppose yoti pay me a dollar on
account, you know?"
William then became angry ; he
threw oysteshells at Henry and
kicked up a tremddous row,. A
policeman was called arid the
roystering oyster-destroyer was
locked up in a cell. In an hour
Henry was avenged William
howled for a doctor; his supper
did not agree with him.
Yesterday morning he was ar
ranged before His Honor Justice
Duffy, in the Jefferson Market
Police Court, and charged with
having been .drunk aud disorderly
and fined $10.
A BOY'S COMPOSITION ON GIRLS
Girls is a queer kind of varmint.
Girls is tbe only thing that has
their own way every time. Girls
is several thousand kinds, and some
times one girl can be like eeveral
thousand other girls, if she wants
you to do anything. ' Girls is all
alike one way; they are all like
cats. If you rub 'em the right
way of the hair they'll purr and
look sweet at you, but if you rub
'em the wrong way, or step on
their tails, they'll claw yoti. S'long
as you lot a girl have her own way
sho's nice and sweet; but just
cross her, and she'll spit flt you
worse hot a cat. Girls is all like
millcs; they're headstrong. If a
girl dont want to believe anything,
you can't make her. If ebfc kuows
it so 8he won't say so. GirlS is
like woolen, if they re good; and
if they ain't good then nor when
they get big, they're she -devils.
That's what father said mamma
was once, when she fixed a hot
flat-iron in the chair eo he'd set
down on it, cause she was mad at
him. Brother Joe says he don't
like big girls, but he does like
little ones; and when I saw him
kissing Jennie Jones last Sunday,
and told him what he'd said, he
eaid be Was bitlog ber 'cause he
didn't like her. I think lie hurt
her, for eho hollered and Nihj and
there was a big red spot over both
of her cheeks. This is all I know
about girls, and father says the
less I know about 'em the better
off I am.
Dkcokatios-day orators charge
75 in Ohio.
AD YERTISIK 0 Ra TEB. -:
Fin loch...., fig oo
Eacn subsequent Inch ...... fl.oo
To find the rate for snorter time first
flndjherate for one year.theo 00 percent
oOx will Jbe tbe rate for six month
0 per cent " thrte month
2 4 " " two month
fO " - P one month
H5 " two weeks
, 19 " " -.t....- o"week
ttctl advertisement Transient,-. -..
'' 1C cents peIin.
THegular ' . 6 " per line.
For Congress and State offices
Legislature and County
THAT DIDNT LIVE IN
!, ... VAIN.
A, 'ell kb.own . Memphis coaN
dealer, not long since, had a tig
dog of wonderful Bagacitr. H
fjthe dog) stayed around , tfje coal
yard, and whenever, a. 'coal ', caif
Was hauled on .the icales; ,tbe' dog'
alwiyi took a stand under tW.
wagon like a eoieb-dog. He'
Weighed nealy cne hundred pounda
and was weighed as coal thousands'
f times and every eoal ccniumer
ra the city purchased that dog at
lo much per barrel. ,
The practice went on fpr toonthB,
Jnd was only discovered by a fun-
By accident., A negro wanted a
barrel of coal, and. wheeled a hand'
cart with coal .on the weighing
scales. The olerk in office worked
at the Beales, and ballotd through
; ''Take out a lot of that coal."
f The negro did io, and kept on'
until all the coal was 'out of tha
cart. , , r ..'.. . n
The clerk took the scales again
but the pea indicated too much.
'jTake put more coal," shouted:
the clerk; d-n it, you have, a boat
load of coal on that car tf! - .'
! "Look hyar boss." replyed the
negro, "the coal is all out, and TIL
have to take the wheels off the
cart if yoq want to lighten it."
...Then the .negro looked, un&ft
the cart, and seeing" the big fat
dog at his post, exclaimed;
, '.'Lord God, maesa, jou'se sel
ling me that dog for coal!"
The dog was. missed in a few
das, anjl was found de'ad op the",
scales, the animal having taken
somo poison accidental! v. but ha
f tame back to die at his Doat. It .
Has , a fine example of "faithful
OLIVER WENDELL H0LME3 AS A
- - THEOLOGIAN.
May 1, without committing any
one but myself, enumerate a few1
of the etutnblingblooks which still :
stand in the way of some.who nay
many sympathies with what is cal-.'
lod the liberal school of thinkres?
The notion that man is responsii
ble for the fact of suffering and
death, whereas both existed long
before his appearance en our
The notion of sltUe a transfer-.
ablo object, As philanthropy has:
riddled us of chattle slavery, so.
philosophy must rid us of chattle -sin
and its logical consequencecse. i
The ;notion that what we all
sin is anything else than inevitable .
unless the Deity has seen fit to
give ever human being a perfect
nature anddeyelop it by a perfect
The oversight of the fact that
all moral relations between man
and his Maker are reciprocal, and,
must meet the approval of man's,
enlightened conscience before he
can render true and heartfelt bom-,
age to the power that called him
into being. And is tot the great-,
est obligation to all eternity on,
the side of the greatest wisdom
and the greatest power? r
The notion that the Father of.
mankind is subject to the absolute,
control of a certain malignant en-',
tity known under the false name'.,
of juritice, or subject to any law.
such as would have made thefath-,
er of the prodigal son meet him
with aVaccount book, and pack,
him off to jail instead of welcomS ,
ing him back and treating him to
the fatted calf. , .
The notion that useless suffering"
is in any sense a satisfaction for;
sin, and hot Bimply ab evil added
to a previous one.
F(jtL 'em back, girls, pull 'em
back. Dress thin, go slow, look - ,
pretty and keep tool this hot"
1 wldhfed I was ii girl;
I'd wear a pull-back, too,
And while the weather's liof,
I'd (buns like you girls do;
I'd wear my dresses tiaht.
.And make the fellows grin.
As I would pass them1 by .
And huar 'em miy, "Too thiol"
.. , Courier-Journal.
Tiief. have given a Pible name .
Nicodemus to a Kao3as post
Off as at another time Acero if)
no tear ot tue Wii. i