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Dick "You're tho only woman I ever loved."
Ethel "You're Joking."
Dick "No, truly. Tha others were nil girls."
At It Might ll llen.
Wcdcrly "I don't believe tho aver
ago mother-in-law Is half as black as
she Is painted."
Singleton "Don't you, really?"
Wederly "No. My mother-in-law
tried to do me a favor once that
would probably have made me happy
for lite had she succeeded."
Singleton "What did she do at
Wcderly "No. She refused her con
sent to my marriage with her daugh
ter, but I like a blooming idiot, In
duced the girl to elope with mo."
It was early on tho morning of Oct.
9, 1901, the thirtieth anniversary of the
Tho professor being unable to sleep,
had gone out of doors to look at tho
Suddenly tho glare of a tremendous
conflagration down-town caught his
eye, and he heard tho rattle and rum
ble of firo engines hastening to the
scene of danger.
"Well," ho said, "it's quite evident
that for tho last thirty years Chicago
has been between two fires."
Tho Llzzard Why is Mrs. Spider crying?
Tho Toad Sho telegraphed her husband to kill her a house fly for dinner
and ho understood It horso fly and wus killed In the combat.
Cooke It's surprising how unprac
Ical some men arc.
Brooke Why, how's that?
Cooke Well, there's Prof. Linguist,
for example. He spent tho best part
pf his llfo acquiring fluoncy In nine
or ten different languages, and then
went nnd married a wife who never
plves him a chance to get a wo.rd In
An ISnrtlily Angel.
Bald he; "It you will be my wife
You shall never know a care;
With an angel for an earthly mate
There Is nothing I'd not daro."
"No doubt," she answered., calmly,
"Out somewhere I havo read
That tools oft rush In blindly
Where angels fear to tread."
Father "Tommy, this Is a very bad
report you bring from school." Tom
my "I know it, papa; but you laid
it I brought home a good report you
would give me a quarter, and I wanted
to sato you that expense."
Sister "Mary received a box of lovely silk stockings from London yester-
Drolher "I guess you'll seo her on
3i ( V
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-ri i jrzm ac. miii'imx&vj kss
.? I nln 3KI V , J ' IPIm lllm A" ""II t I
w I y)CFizifUA Y t.
i .ma .r i ni ,.nmjt. wi u -
"II It wasn't for one thing, I bet
"What's the one thing?"
"The dlaUnco Is too far (or ths
I y i m i i
III II II I II llll ! Ill ,
KNI'.W HIM IIUTIK4.
A young rlerk In a wholpitnle house j
has been spending largo portion ol
his salary for tho last few days bulng
clgnrs for friends who aro "on" to a i
Joko that was perpetrated on him. HI
employer engaged n new boy, nnd ..s
soon us the boy camo to the establish
ment ho was instructed In his duties by
our friend, who had been promoted to
tho position of assistant bookkeeper
and given a small ofllco by himself.
About nn hour nfter the boy started In
tho boss came nround, and seeing him
"Has the assistant bookkeeper told
you what to do?"
"Yes, sir," wns the prompt reply; "he
told mo to wako up when 1 s.iw you
Ho went fishing, nnd when ho cam
back a friend met him and asked:
"Did you catch anything?"
"Not" In n tone of scorn.
"Well," exclaimed the friend, "you
nre truthful, anvhow, which all fish
ermen aro not."
"As to that," responded the fisher
man, "pcrhnps you might havo called
them fish, but I wouldn't 7ho big
Rest one I got only weighed 13
pounds." Stray Stories.
the street every rainy day after this."
Miss Anteek She's very rudo. Sh
told me yesterday that I was "a home
ly old thing."
Miss Goodheart YVs, I heard her,
and I tooK her to tnsk for It afterward,
Miss Anteek Did you really?
Miss Goodheart Yes; I told her she
should think how sensitive you must
be about It. Philadelphia Press.
Tess Sho says she can't understand
why people call hlra a flattorer.
Jess She does, eh?
Tess Yes; I guess It's because h
never said anything flattering to her.
Jess More likely he did say some
thing flattering and she's trying to
make herself beliovo he was in earn
est. Philadelphia Press.
Why lis Krnpt(l.
Tho Literary Editor: "That fellow
Scribbler sent In a poem this morn
lug entitled 'Why do I live?' "
Tho Editor: "What did you do with
The Literary Editor: "Returned It
with an enclosed slip saying: 'Recauss
you mailed this instead of bringing It
that horsa of mine could go a mile In a
r A at , liUfff 'II inkf .
' uinvi mh. ff vx i
tr?ma.-Jm f s s
- ,fiJ- t jri --
QIVES UP HIS SEOHET.
WiMiltliy oliln Sim, M iiiiifiti-tiirpr N
I.oiikt ti lrtliu uf lllitrkiimlltir.
Robert F. Wolfe, tho wealthy nut ro
(ipccted merchant of Columbus. Ohio
who has given to tho world tho secrei
that he uns cc confluod In the Indi
ana statu's priBon, has won admirntloti
lliroughout the country for his inatil.t
vonfcMion That lie has lhi'il an up
light mill lionuinlilp life fur lasi
'"Mi ty ycais Is rousldercd sutflclen
nODERT F. WOLFE,
itonemont for tho mistnke which ).
coiiimltted In early manhood. Mr
Wolfe was sentenced to serve flv
years In tho penitentiary on a char
of assault with Intent to kill. He 1
become Involved In trouble when
years old, while defending an attr.
upon tho chatneter of a girl cousin 1
a small Indiana town. After beliip
held three months In Jail without trial
ho overenmo his guard and escaped
He was soon rearrested nnd his penal
servitude followed. While In prison
the young man learned the shoemak
er's trade, and after his release he
made his way to Columbus, arriving
without a dollar. Ho started a little
shop and In tlmo became one of the
leading shoemakers of the state. He
Is now president of tho Wolfo Uroth
ors' Company nnd his estate Is esti
mated nt $500,000. Soon nfter his ar
rival In Columbus Mr. Wolfe told the
secret of his Imprisonment to a few
friends. Afterward when he became a
successful merchant this Information
was used to extort money from him,
nnd ho was constantly tho victim of n
set of harpies. He was so goaded with
these demands that he finally decided
to announce tho secret himself.
A QYPSY QUEEN.
Who I Ilt!iutil to ho Vry Wolthy
with n .MiKiilflrnt Hums.
There is seldom anything of inter
est to bo found among tho wnnderlng
bands of gypsies bo common In many
parts of the country during the sum
uer months; but during the last few
MRS. MYRA WHITE, GYPSY QUEEN
weoks a very interesting person has
been In Kenosha, Wis., living In the
wagon with her gypsies. She Is Myra
Whlto, who Is known ns the "Queen
of tho Gypsies." Miss Whlto has a
magnificent homo In Terro Hauto, Intl..
but with tho opening of tho spring
season she takes tho road with soma
of her followers, and for the last three
summers sho has spent the hot weath
er on the lake shore, sleeping In tho
wagon or else out under the open sky,
nnd transacting tho business of tho
kingdom of tho gypsies from a little
lesk In the front of one of the
Tho name of the Gypsy Queen has
been connected with many stories of
romnnco. She is reputed to be fabu
lously wealthy; but a visit to her little
home In tho gauully painted wagon
reveals nothing to show that this Is
truo. Tho story of how she led tho
gypsies from one part of tho country
to the other seems like a fairy talo.
Miss White Is a beautiful woman, and
her hair and oyes declare that she Is
an American, not the typical gypsy.
Of her connection with tho gypsies
In this country she refuses to speak,
but any one who enters the wagon will
see that the llfo she leads is a fascin
ating one. Men and women alike bow
down to hir and pay tribute. She
holds the destinies of a kingdom of
some 5,000 peoplo In her hands, and It
Is her boast that not one of her sub
jects ever lacked a roof In tho winter
or n meal la the summer.
Ar ihe World
Tim Wnr on llrrt Mignr.
The American Sugar Roflnlng Com
pany, otherwise known ns tho sugar
trust, icccntly began a wnr upon thu
beet .sugar industry by cutting tho
prlco of granulated to 3,4 cents a
pound ut Missouri river points. This
has been followed by a reduction of
prlco In all states from Colorado to
California amounting to 30 cents n
hundred pounds on boot sugar unit 20
cents on cane sugar. Tho object Is to
deal a blow to tho beet sugar manu
facturers in tholr own territory. Tho
recent report of Secretary WIImiii on
me beet sugar Industry estimates tho
total product of 1901 nt 19,600 tons, of
which 119.000 tons ctiino from tho Pa
cific coast and Rocky Mountain HtntrH,
besides 7,000 tons from Nebraska, Cali
fornia, with an annual output of S0,
000 tons, Is tho leading producor.
ltrilcnUl.m of I'rntlilrnt Ailnttiv
Tho educational world of both con
tinents suffers loss In tho resignation
of Chnrles Kendall Adams, presldont
of the University of Wisconsin, which
expresses Its appreciation of his serv
ices by giving him Indefinite leavo of
absonco instead of accepting his resig
nation. Dr. Adams retires to a milder
climate on account of 111 health.
Dr. Adams arrived nt tho University
of Wisconsin when It wns In urgent
need of his Intellectual resources, his
reserve, fortitude and precision. Un
der a flabby administration tho delin
quencies of some of Its Inculty would
havo Inflicted grave Injury upon tho
Institution. His discretion In vicissi
tudes overenme tho 111 effects of per
nicious subaltern teaching. His moral
DR. CHARLES KENDALL ADAMa
alms wero promoted with rctlcenco and
dignity and throughout his tenure tho
University of Wisconsin has risen to a
foremost place In higher education,
both abstract and practical.
The president of tho modern unlvor
slty must possess tho comprehenslvu
and genial culture dorlvablo from an
tiquity. Ho must walk, however, with
tho quickening music of humanity,
which Is no longer "still" nor "sad."
It Is a trumpet blast that calls nations
now, and it Is given to tho United
States to bo In tho fore.
Klrctrlc Tab on 1' rax em.
John Alexander Dowie Is now nbln
to keep tab on his prnyers. All this lb
accomplished as the result of novel
uses to which Is put that triumph ot
modern mechanical Ingenuity, tho elec
tric time stamp. Few except those fa
mlllnr with tho busy life "Dr." Dowle
leads realize what a service the elec
tric tlmo stamp will be to him. "Eli
jah II." spends a consldoiablo part ol
AUG 1? 1-Q4PM 1901
JOHN ALEX. DOWIE
A PRAYER REGISTER,
tils time dally praying for various
Zlonltcs whose friends or relatives
have asked the general overseer to
Join them In prayer for healing at
such or such an hour, says a Chicago
paper. These requests for prayers aro
received by Dowle's secretaries, tabu
lated according to the specific hours
at which tho special prayer is sought,
and taken up by the head ot the chris
tian Catholic churcn at the tlmo spec
ified. The moment Dowle finishes a
prayer he slaps tho written slip Into
the Jaws of his electric tlmo stamp,
slams his hand on top ot tho device
and the exact time he prayed la In
stantly recorded upon the sheet. Here
is a facsimile of one ot Dowle's time
When a week or so later the general
overseer la informed that at such or
such an hour the patient seemed to Im
prove, he can refer to the documen
tary evidence to prove that be prayod
nt that lour for tho healing of tho be
liever In his powers. Many times Dr.
Dowle has produced the stamped and
timed slips to convince followers of
the potency of his prayers.