Newspaper Page Text
By AUGUSTUS WITTFIELD
I entered Car lock's apartments and
found him swinging In a hammock
He gave we a quick glance and
heaved a deep sigh.
"Why so melancholy V I Inquired.
"My dear Watchem," he answered
MI had hopes that your afternoon
would be at my disposal, but, of
course, since you are going to the ball
game with Emmons, I cannot look for
you to assist me in the mysterious
case of O. B. C Osofat."
Who told you I am going to the
ball game?" I nsked.
"Why, Watchem," he answered, "the
truth Is self-evident. You are wear
lng your somber garments on a week
day. You can have put them on only
for the purpose of lending color to
the yarn you told your chief that your
grandmother Is to be burled this aft
"As she has died at least a dozen
times to my knowledge, I can deduce
but one thing, and that Is that the
Interment will be at the usual place."
"CariocK, 1 commented, "you are
right. But what gets me Is that you
know I am going with Emmons."
"Easiest thing out," replied Oar
lock. "Emmons came In and tried to
borrow a dollar from me. Said he
was going to the ball game. Ergo,
he must be going with you or he
wouldn't have to borrow the money."
"Carlock," I said In amazement,
"you're a wonder. But tell me, why
are you swinging In a hammock?"
"Because I enjoy the suspense," he
replied. "Suspense stimulates the
mental faculties, and, besides, a ham
mock affords free sway to the Imag
"Have you discovered any clew to
the mysterious disappearance of the
case of Fat-Reduclo which was con
signed to O. B. C. Osofat, and which
was lost while In transit on the Pole-to-Pole
railway?" I asked.
"Before answering your query," re
plied Carlock, "I wish to refresh your
memory on the subject. You remem
ber it was while I was engaged on
the famous case of the Gold Coupler
that O. B. C. Osofat came to me with
tne astounding information that a
case of Fat-Reduclo had disappeared
In transit on the Pole-to-Pole railway.
"Mr. Osofat had ordered the prep
aratlon with the idea of reducing his
excessive weight, and, in anticipation
of the results which had been guar
anteed by the manufacturers, he had
donated most of his clothing to the
jhome for obese octogenarians, and had
J ordered a liberal supply of new ones
to nt a man weighing a hundred
pounds less, or one hundred and seventy-six
"The preparation had been con
signed to him by the manufacturers
,at Phantixsmanla, and was receipted
for In good order by the Pole-to-Pole
.at Patrickgonia. Somewhere botween
ithat point and th!s city ! disap
peared completely. The resources of
.the road have been exhausted, and as
a last resort my marvelous powers
have been enlisted In an effort to
; solve the mystery.
J "Mr. Osofat Is one of the largest
stockholders of the road, and, conse
quently, the directors are especially
anxious to please him, as they realize
jthat heavy stockholders are not to be
made light of."
I Carlock paused, and, opening his
medicine chest, he handed me a pep
I "What Is this for?" I asked,
j "Take it," he replied. "It will help
,you to digest the evidence."
I I did as he directed, and he con
tinued. "When I took hold of the case there
was absolutely nothing to work on.
After infinite pains I discovered that
the bagsrage car of the train that re
ceived the case at Patrickgonia was
In charge of Pud Judson, one of the
heavyweight baggage smashers of the
road. I looked up his antecedents and
found that he had lots of first-class
records, which he used on his phono
graph, lie was credited with being as
straight as a string, but considerably
i "I also discovered that, after reach
ing New York on that trip, Pud had
disappeared and was missing for four
weeks. When he finally reported for
duty he had grown considerably thin
ner. The cause of his falling off In
weight has never been explained."
"As the case now stands, I re
marked, "what do you make of It?"
j By logical deduction, I arrive at the
conclusion that Pud Judson Is respon
sible for the disappearance of the case
of Fat-Reducio, and I propose to
fasten the crime on him."
Precisely, nt three-thirty, the Indi
cator on the wall announced that Pud
Judson had entered the building, and
,vas even then on his way to Carlock's
apartments. In a minute or so the
elevator stopped, and then there was
a knock at the door. Carlock opened
it, admitting a short, emaciated man
in a railroad man's uniform.
"You sent for me?" he asked, nd
dresslng.the great detective,
i "I summoned you," said Carlock.
"Be good enough to note the distinc
tion. A professional man never sends
.for any one,"
f Carlock surveyed JuNon critically,
.having taken a post graduate course
I in surveying at a correspondence
school. Suddenly he made the star
"Judson, you are short!"
Judson cowered. '
"Only a matter of fifty shares or
so," ho asserted.
"I do not refer to your petty market
speculations," said Carlock severely.
"I refer to your weight. You have
lost about a hundred pounds. Had
you lost this weight in a legitimate
manner it would not have been neces
sary for me to summon you, but since
you have usurped the loss which
should have been another's, it Is my
duty to secure from you a statement
of the facts." v
"I do not know what you mean," as
"You know that on your last run
there was a case of Fat-Reduclo con
signed to O. B. C. Osofat of this city.
You also know that when you reached
here the case had disappeared."
"But why accuse me of knowing
what became of It? If the case was
lost, I do not see how I am to blame
for It," protested Judson.
"Judson," said Carlock, "a crime
has been committed, and It Is neces
sary that the criminal be found. You
were in that car alone with the case
of Fat-Reduclo. You are known to
have often expressed dissatisfaction
with your excessive weight.
"In the solitude of your car, you
succumbed to the temptation, and
when no eye was on you, you ate up
that case; Come, man, you may as
well admit It. I know what I am talk
"I did not ent It," said Judson. "I
was not in the car alone. There was
a goat on board. It was consigned to
a cattle show in Kentucky. I tell
you I know nothing about It."
"Watchem," said Carlock, turning
to me, "this Is the toughest case I've
ever tackled. I've got to get an ad
mission out of hlra at any cost. The
directors have ordered me to make a
report as quickly as possible."
lie turned, and, opening his safe, he
took n handful of gold pieces from his
cash-box. Placing the gold on the
table, he addressed Judson:
"Did you ever see this before?"
"No," replied Judson.
"It Is yours," Insinuated Carlock. .
"No, no," moaned Judson. "I wish
"It Is yours," repeated Carlock.
"Come, now, like a good fellow, admit
that you ate the Fat-Reduclo."
"I do not understand," wailed Jud
son. "But if you say the money Is
mine, perhaps I am mistaken. Per
haps I did eat the Fat-Reduclo."
"The money is yours," Carlock as
sured him. "Con now, admit that
you ate the case of Fat-Reduclo."
"Mine all mine I" exclaimed Judson
Joyfully. "Yes, I think I did eat it."
He picked up the gold-pieces and let
them flow from one hand to the other.
Then he put them into his pocket.
"You did it," persisted Carlock. "You
know you did it."
"Yes ; I did it," said Judson wearily.
"Whew!" exclaimed Carlock. "That
was a tough Job. Twenty minutes, by
the clock. Did you phonograph It,
"Yes," I replied; "it is all on rec
Carlock dismissed Judson, and pro
ceeded to trpnscribe a full report of
the confession. He was a lightning
operator on the typewriter, and I
watched the sparks flying from the
machine as he wrote.
"Are you not efraid of setting Are
to the paper?" I nsked.
"No danger," he replied. "I use as
As he finished his labors, the post
man entered and handed hliu a large,
Carlock passed it to me and asked
me to read it to him.
I broke the seal and opened It.
Clearing my throat, I rend :
HOOF, HORN & HIDE,
Venezuela, S. A.
Mr. Carlock BJones, New York, U. S. A.
Dear Mr. BJones We are address
ing you as the head of the detective
staff of the Pole-to-Pole railway, and
beg to report to you that some time
since we shipped one of our prize
fat goats over your road to the Ken
tucky Agricultural Fair. The goat was
a beautiful specimen, weighing 220
Shortly after its delivery to the
Agricultural show people If com
menced to lose weight, and In the
short space of one week It lost the
amazing sum of 100 pounds. It is
needless to note that the goat Avas
unfit for show purposes, and we were
compelled to withdraw it.
We determined to investigate the
cause of this loss In weight, and our
Mr. Arsenic Loo Ping was assigned to
the Job. With the greatest ease he
located the man who had charge of
the baggage-car In which the goat
had made the trip to Kentucky.
He found him In New York suffer
ing from a mysterious malady,, and,
disguising himself ns a trained nurse,
he gained admission Into the sick-
room. .He was rewarded by learning
from the delirious ravings of Tud
Judson that a case of Fat Reduclo In
the car had been entirely, consumed
by our prize fat goat.
We propose to enter suit against
the Pole-to-Pole railway for damages
sustained by us through your care
lessness In transporting our goat.
Mr. Arsenic Loo Ping sends you his
greetings, and assures you that you
will have to get up early to beat hlra.
Hoof, Horn & Hide.
"Carlock," I commented, "It looks' to
me as though Pud Judson has the best
of you. There seem to be two goati
In this case."
"No." replied Carlock bitterly.
There is only one. Tm it"
Writings of Great Poets Lin
ger in Memory
Hamlet's soliloquy beginning, "To be
or not to be," Is probably as familiar
as It is possible for any words not In
the Bible to be, and has certainly been
declaimed and recited of tener than any
others, from the boy at school to the
great actor on the stage. Has Its pow
er, Its philosophy, its fineness of
thought and diction, its soaring imagi
nation been thereby In any degree im
paired? asks Henry Cabot Lodge in
Scrlbner's. Where could one turn
more surely at the chosen moment for
a noble quotation? Again, no lines in
Shakespeare are probably more uni
versally familiar than Portia's speech,
beginning "The quality of mercy Is not
strained." Has use at all lessened its
exquisite beauty? x
Descend in the scale of genius. Like
Wolfe upon the eve of battle upon the j
plains of Abraham, . boys and girls,
men and women, have been repeating ,
for more than a century the "Elegy in !
a Country Churchyard." It might be
described in the words of the young
man overheard by Mrs. Kemble at the
theater, who remarked of "Hamlet"
that "it seemed to be made up of quo
tations." Does all this familiarity In
any woy affect its beauties, the charm
of the verse, the perfection in the
choice of words, the soft twilight of
the picture and the thoughts? There
Is but one possible answer to such
DO AWAY WITH IDLE HOURS
Why a "Hobby," or Something to Take
Its Place, Is Necessary for
There Is that everlasting appeal to
people to get n hobby. It Is all very
well for the writer or speaker to pre
pare his Hobby sermons, but, like Por
tia, It is easier to tell twenty what is
good to be done than to be one of the
twenty' to follow their own teachings.
A hobby is a most commendable
thing. But most hobbles are expensive.
The best thing to do Is to plan out a
dally routine for yourself where you
know every' hour where you will be
and what you are going to do. There
should be no idle or haphazard hours
at all. These are the hours which
make you nervous, allow you to think
of yourself, and which the preachers
of the hobbles would therefore have
you fill with your "hobby."
Vacant, restless hours, if you have
no hobby, can be filled with reading
good books, calls on the sick, calls on
the places of interest In your city, and
with all such things which cpst little
or nothing. In this day of great needs,
when letters and packages are enjoyed
so much by the soldiers, there should
be no woman who Is idle, who can't
find anything to take up her mind and
Is so hard pressed that she "must have
a hobby." Exchange.
How Some of Our Ancestors Lived.
According to James Curie, who has
discovered some old caves and houses
in Scotland, life in a two-by-four flat,
with the Janitor on a strike, Is bliss
compared to what people used to put
up with. He has found several large
caves In Scotland which were used as
houses, a couple of thousand years
ago, before modern conveniences were
Invented. In other places the houses
were built underground. Many relics
have been left in these dwellings.
There are weaving combs, whorls, and
spindles used by the women, enameled
brooches, pins, and colored glass arm
lets with which they decked them
selves. Women's and children's shoes
were also found. Besides these are
household utensils, wooden dishes and
spoons, stone lamps and platters, and
pottery of various kinds. The men
have left tools and weapons, plows,
picks, and rakes, made of deer antlers,
wheels of carts, 'harness mountings,
and large decorated swords. Prof.
Carle declares that the Romans who
were once In possession of the country
taught the people to make all these
How Snow Is Colored.
A study has been made by Messrs.
A. N. Wlnchell and E. R. Miller of the
University of Wisconsin of a shower
of dust which discolored falling snow
at .Madison and elsewhere. According
to somewhat sconty reports, this col
ored snow covered an area of nt least
100,000 square miles and probably
much more. The total quantity of
dust Is estimated to have been at least
1,000,000 tons, and may have greatly
exceeded this, perhaps, even amount
ing to hundreds of millions of tons. A
study of the character of the dust and
of the attendant meteorloglcal condi
tions leads to the belief that the dust
was blown all the way from the arid
regions in the far Southwestern United
States, and was therefore transported
1,000 miles or more.
How Prejudice Affects Living.
Prejudice plays n large part In our
fvd purchases. Trtlce the ense of but
ter versus oleomargarine. Experts In
the fon-K? have been known to fall In
ability L Ustlngulsh the two, yet we
are willing to pay 20 per cent more
for butter than for the substitute. The
prejudice against goods from storage
helps bolster the cost of living. Were
It not for storoge facilities butter and
eggs today would be luxuries for the
very rich only. The public was re
cently reliably Informed that storage
eggs had proved, fresher than fresh
eggs. '. The "rabbit "would furnish food
as well 'as fur If our "don't like" did
not stand in the way. Our "can't eat"
and "don't like" are mainly psycho
logical states fixed in' habit and preju
diceDetroit Free Press,
Do You Want to Get
THE MOST MONEY
If you do, ship them to us,
ABSOLUTELY FAIR SORT
and a Check for your Furs will
be mailed you the day they are
received. High quotations do
not always bring the most
Wrtto Today for Prlco List
MAHLER a FINEDERG
131 St. Joseph St. DETROIT
1200 New York Doctors
Fighting Poison Gas.
Do you know that you folks at home
as well as the brave boys ' 'over there"
are menaced by "poison gas" t'.ie
insidious kind that steals away hcakh
and the joy of living, in the perpetually
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1200 New York physicians regular!
prescribe JOHN'S DIGESTIVE
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Get the TABLETS at your druj
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by taking three to six dissolved in a
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ving. Have JOHN'S DIGEST1V2
TABLETS handy in the dining rrxrn
for chronic cases ot gastric or irto
tinal indigestion a3 one cr f.vo T. 2
LETS should be tn.kcn before c.c:(
meal. c -
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Cut Out the Jumps!
Have you "the jumps" or other
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look to your nerves. Something is
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Upset nervous conditions usually re
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Ask your druggist for DR. CHARLES
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If ?ouf drngBists does not carry them, send
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OR. CHARLES FLESH FOOD COMPANY
BROOKLYN N, ft
-PROS -TONE a
"THE UTAH SECRET"
It one of those "once in-a lifetime" discover
ies that seem heaven sent to a wsitirjrworlJ at
stated periods the milt-stones which mark the
world's enlightened progress. IKOS-lONli
is the li(o monument ol achievement to the
credit of a physician who prescribed tiie form
via tor diseases of a nervous origin and fcr
lidney and bladder troubles for thirty years in
rrivate practice. Ho first used It to relieve
idncy and bladder diseases v. Inch afflicted the
engineers and other employees of one of our
trreat western railroads of which he was tbs
rhysician. His (treat success led to it's extend
ed usa fcr nervous disorders ty the pntisnts of
of the Keely Institute of Salt I.nke, Utah-
Kesu'ts were so wonderlullr beneficial, tbe
rood doctor finally decided his duty toward
mank-nd was to lay it's marvellous, and PE
CULIARLY SPECIALIZED BENEFITS
before the public to acquaint weak, suffering;,
nervous, debilitated men and women with what
l'KOS-TUNE would KKALLY DO. He was
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secret of renewed health and vitality by two
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ternity who had used the formula ol PROS
"i ONE in their private practice and were as
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One was the Dean of an eastern Medical Colleea
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ther college. 1 he result of their combined ei-
f erience and judgement was the improved
annuls under which l'ROSTONE is now
If you cannot set TROS-TONE at your
drugcist's in order that we may be able to
ncquHint you more fully as to what it WILL
We will mail you FKEE on receipt of 10
rents in stamps or coin and this coupon, enough
l'KOS TONE forthtee days trial and full dir
ections. We want all victims ol nervousness,
failing powers, kidney "nd bladder troubles, to
know PROS-TON F, TO KNOW The Great
Utah Secret of health and vitality to reap its
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This coupon with 10 rents stamps or coin
to pay postage and packing is good for FREE.
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If you desire full sired bottle of PROS TON W
you may enclose $1.(0 with this coupon and It
will be sent you postpaid. CROBft-WHYTB
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nine roHi uaiue iuu auuicif piBIQly SQ4
pia ibis coupon to rout letter,
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HOW MANyipOABSlG&N YOUiSEE ?
lAik your newsdealer. He can tell you tbe correct answer.
POPULAR MECHANICS MAGAZINE
with its four hundred pictures and four hundred articles each month, h bf cger
and better than ever. Our correspondents in all parts of the world are
continually on the watch for new and interesting things for our readers.
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Get rid of dandruff
it makes the scalo itch and the hair fall out. J?a
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Buy a 50c bottle from your dealer or send 10c to our Ameri
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PARFOMERIE ED. PINAUD, Dept. M ED. PINAUD BIdg., New York
APPLE TREES AND. PEACH TREES
Ifey are Scares This Year Stock I'M Hot last Long
Wo offer in limited quantity subject to stock being unsold on receipt
of orders, Apple and Peach Trees of excellent quality, guaranteed true
to name and of Pedigree Bred Strain, as follows:
Steele's Red (top worked)
Northern Spy .
R. I. Greening
Yellow Transparent, etc.
On account of war conditions, seedling stock for propagation is
almost unobtainable. Trees will be higher and scarcer in following
Complete Una of Nursery Stock. Write for Prices.
The Greening Nursery Co.
(1,500 Acres) Agents Wanted Monroe. Mich.
Yonr Liver" Es Hie Cost
, Beauty Doctor
A dull, yellow, lifeless skin, or pimples and
eruptions, are twin brothers to constipation.
Bile, nature' own laxative, is getting into your
blood instead of passing out of your system
as it should. This is the treatment, in sue
cessful usa for 50 year one pill daily
(more only when necessary).
People Heed Carter's Iron Pills
motor pulls four 14
inch plows. Ample
- ..4 - A it- 4.1-. i
- Engles Mammouth
J. 11. Hale