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THE MAN WHO BLEW.
"Feel anything like a cyclone up hero?" asked a strapping
young man who came in from Dearborn the other day on the train
and took a street car up Jefferson avenue.
"When wm it?" asked the conductor as he worked off five pen
nies on a map is making change.
"Just about noon today. I didn't know but what I'd find a dozen
buildings blowed down."
"Hasn't been any wind hero today to speak of. Where are you
"Dearborn, and that's where eho started from, and was headed
this way at last accounts. Probably struck a snag somewhere and
was dodged off. I started it myself."
"How could you start a cyclone?" asked the conductor, as ho
stopped the car and pulled a fat woman up the steps.
"Feller came along this afternoon with one o' them lung testers.
Five cents a blow, and the more you cau blow the healthier your
lungs are. I was a milo out of town but. the boys sent for me.
When the feller saw me he offered me- a half dollar not to
"Why didn't he want you to blow?"
"He suspected what would happen. I wouldn't let him off
though. When he raised his offer to $1 I says to him, 'No use;
you are traveling around to catch the blowing public, and must
take chances on the calamity. Give me that nozzle and stand
"Why, you don't look like a great blower," said the conductor,
as he sized him up,
"No, and that's where most of 'em get left. I got hold of that
nozzle, drawed a long breath and let 'er flicker, and ruin followed,
Say, that bull blamed machine just exploded like a b'iler, and
went flying all over the country."
'You don.t say so!"
'Knocked down three men, broke off a hitching poet and ripped
the shingles off a house! Breath couldn't get away fast enough
and so formed a cyclone. I had my month p'inted toward Detroit,
and that cyclone was just tearing up grass and playing with fence
rails when she went out o, sight. Didn't reach here, eh?"
"I don't think so. At least I havn't seen anything of it."
"Probably switched off over into Canada. And the morning pa
pers will have a full account of the loss of life and destruction of
property. You may lemmie off at the next street. No, I dont look
much like a blower. But don't you make any bets that I'm short
on wind power. Going to see a feller up here who owes me $2. If
he pays, alright; if he don't I draw a long breath, hump my back
and let her go,and down comes the varmint's shanty on top the
Dr. L. W. Edwards has re-located at rooms 90 and 91, Burr block,
Office hours: 9 a. m. to 1 p. m., 2 p. m. to 5 p. m. and 7 p. m. to 9 p. m.
Orange Glace at Hawke's Pharmacy.
Fresh country milk at Central Milk Depot, 134, south 11.
On Tuesday night tho Nebraska Stato Band waa appointed regi
mental band to the second regiment of Nebraska National guards,
by Col. C. J. Bills of Fairbury.
On Friday evening tho 27th, thcro will be a special program at the
Arena for tho purpose of mustering in tho band. Governor Crounse
and staff, Col. Bills and staff and Col. Bratt end staff will be present
to participate in the exercises.
The State Band is now receiving the support and recognition due
to an organization of its merit. Why did'nt tho peoples of Nobraaka
and Lincoln waKo up sooner to tho fact that the State band is an in
stitution worthy of support? If they had done so tho band would
now be out of debt and President Ziemer and Director Irvine would
see their untiring efforts crowned with success.
Every good citizen of Lincoln should bo seen at the Arena next
Friday night with his family or friends. The program will be a
grand one and no one can afford to miss it.
A LITTLE GIRL'S WISDON.
She was a little girl prone to mischief and full of plausible ex
cuses for the same. She was visiting au auntie in the country,
and near the barn workmen were makiug ready to blast a rock,
preparatory to digging a well.
The bright little one was much interested in the proceedings,
and when auntie told her she must come into the house for fear
of getting hurt in the explosion, this is what she said to
"I isn't 'fraid auntie. Why I'll run des as fast as esser I tan
afer I see the well tummin."
TOO MUGH FOR MRS. MIKE.
Poor Mike was very ill almost as ill as he was short, and what
that meant those who know him can best say, for physically he
was hardly more than a dwaif.
Ths doctor was called in and after an investigation, informed
Mrs. Mike that her husband was suffering from actinomycosis, a
name which appeared to strike terror to the soul of the anxious
"Actinomycosis," replied tho doctor.
"Him?' cried Mrs. Mike. "Ah docthor, how can yes say thot?
A little mon loike Moikel couldn't hould the name of ut, much lias
the diseazo that goes wit ut."
The Seidl orchestra, under Mr. Anton Seidl's direction, will make
a tour of this country next season. The soloists will include Joeeffy,
if he returns to the concert stage: Mme. Jule Rive-Hing and Adele
Aus Der Ohe, pianists; Cesar Thompson, the Belgian violinists; Sig.
G. Campanari, Mme. Emma Juch, Amelia Materna, Lillian Blau
volt, Mrs. Julia Wyman and Emil Fischer.
F. E. Voelker has moved his stock of furs from the Y. M. C." A.
building to the north-east corner of Twelfth and N streets where he
will be glad to serve all of his old customers and many new ones.
Have you seen those Hammocks at Hawke's Pharmacy they are
daisies and ho is selling them cheap.
Where is the best place to buy pure Jersey cream? At Central
Milk Depot, 131 south Eleventh street.
We are selling first class lemons at 20 cents. Good Luck grocery,
1107 O street.
We are making a big drivo on granulated sugar 20 pounds for
81.00 at Good Luck grocery, 1107 O street.
Everything the latest in styles
Jeckell Bros, tailors, 131 So. Thirteenth.
For old fashioned cottage cheese, try the Central Milk Depot 134,
We keep constantly oh hand a full line of fresh vegetables and
fruits at tho lowest market price. Family trade a specialty. Good
Luck grocery, 1107 O street.