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"UNITED STATES" AS SHE IS SPOKE.
1AM free, white, twenty-ono and I BpeaK United States," is ac
cording to a writer in The Saturday Review, London, Septom
ber 22, the modern Declaration of Independence of every nntivo
adult American citizen. Wo get considerable information out of
this article. Take the following as a samplo:
"The American language used to be English, of course English
pure and Bimple, if English ever was either pure or simple but it
has prospered on its own account, like other things American, and
now the English language is being Americanized, like tho English
nobility, and its vivacity is considerably benetited by the process."
The trouble is that the meanings of many words have been modi
fied and altered so that they are quite unintelligible to the English
man. Here are some examples:
"If a Londoner is fortunate enough to cross tho Atlantic, and be
introduced to a sky which has not been discolored by smoke, a sun
which has not been dimmed by fog, and an atmosphere which tho
powers have not forgotten to dry, and is as stimulating as cham
pagne, but is unfortunate enough to have to buy a frock-coat a
most expensive article or to order one as a rule, quite a different
matter he must call it a 'Prince Albert.' . . .
"If he wants a billycock hat, he will never get it if he asks for it
by that name; he must request the shopman to bring him a 'Derby.'
"Should the coverings of his feet be worn out and ho orders a new
pair of boots, ho will bo given Wellingtons, which are 'boots' in tho
American language; if he wants English boots he must ask for
'shoes,' while if he likes to show pretty socks and wears Oxford
shoes, he must call for 'ties,' or 'low-cuts,' and 'slippers,' if ho needs
"He will find, too. that he does not buy articles in a shop, but at a
'store,' and ho will be sent to its different departments by a 'floor
walker, not a shop-walker. . . .
"Should ho unfortunately happen to get ill, let him boldly declare
that he 'feels sick,' entirely heedless of what he would be under
stood to mean at home, or it will be taken that he is nauseated, for
the words sick and ill mean just tho reverse of what they signify in
London; and if his doctor gives him a prescription, let him not ask
to be directed to a chemist, or ho will be sent off to a manufacturer
of chemicals, if any one knows the address of such a firm, but let
him seek for a 'pharmacy' or 'drug-store.'
"In its pronunciation United States is a law unto itself, and if tho
aforesaid Londoner getB 'busted' or wants employment as a clerk,
let him not call himself a 'clerk,' or people will open their eyes at
his peculiar occupation.
"Above all, let him avoid, as he would the plague, tho nasal twang
which passes current for tho American accent on the London stage,
unless he hankers after being mistaken for a denizen of the 'wild and
wooly west,' or as hailing from Oshkosh or Kalamazoo, both of which
places, in spite of a popular belief to the contrary, will be found on
the map of the country over which the stars and stripes float and
the bald-headed eagle screams.
"United States is to some extent an 'infected language, and the
intonation of a word gives it its peculiar meaning, just as happens
in that most soul-wearying of all tongues to the student tho
Chinese. It any one doubt this, let him listen to two people mani
pulate that most distinctively American word 'right' in a conversa
tion of this kind:
" 'How do I get to ?'
" 'Go right along, and take the first turning on the right and you
are right there.'
"Tho first meaning of tho first two rights is obvious enough. Tho
third is the equivalent of 'at onco." Tho interrogativo rights askB,
'Aro you suro that it is correct?' and tho exclamatory one replies as
plainly as possible 'Quito correct," while the othor goes away with a
nod, for his 'Right' mcane 'Thank you, I'm off.' "
THE NEW WOMAN.
What sho said was this: "I am Bick and tired to death of hearing
about woaian I" This somewhat violent expression is not quoted
hero to be defended, and it does not need contemporary explanation;
it merely indicated tho cumulative weariness of long-tried patience.
And it must not bo taken to express too much. Though women are
often tired of themselves and of each other, and do not hesitate to
say so, this is only a temporary wcarincss.and does not at all express
the feelings of a misogynist toward women generally. Indeed, this
woman who is quoted would probably turn with withering rebuke
upon any man who should say that tho modern world has had about
enough of woman and would like a rest. And tho man would meek
ly admit that rest tho world will not have, and rest it does not do
serve, this side the grave. No, it is progress and not rest that wo
need, and that must go on, even to tho extent of women forming
themselves into a syndicate, a women's trust, for carrying on busi
ness independent of tho other sex, and dictating terms of partner
ship. The speaker was not tired of women, but of "hearing"' about
Can not women, she said, bo taken for granted? Why should sho
assert herself, or permit herself to bo treated as a separate class?
Why this clamor every time she does anything, as if it wero extra
ordinary that a human being should have genius or exhibit capacity?
Why make such a cackling, liko a hen every time sho lays an egg?
A man does not ask consideration or immunity from criticism for
anything he docs becauso ho is a man. Why should a woman? Tho
whole attitude is undignified, and a confession of inferiority that en
rages me. If I were to take a "double-first" or writo a novel, I
should be humiliated if I were praised for it like a freak. I am tired
of reading about woman in all tho periodicals and newspapers as if
she wero a newly discovered species. Every Journal must have its
"Woman's Column," its "Woman's Doings,' its "Chat About Wo
men," its "Woman's World," its "Woman in Society," "Woman in
the Ocean," "Woman in tho Pulpit," "Woman in Literature," woman
riding down the newspaper columns on a bicycle. And it is an
nounced that this is the woman's age, that woman is in tho saddle,
that woman has come to stay. Sho seems to want to draw the line,
as Bhe did rather effectively at Chicago in a Woman's building, and
to force an antagonism in every department of life. Even in her own
periodicals I do not see any column devoted to man. That might
be refreshing reading. Woman ! Why, she has borne tho wholo
race for GOOO years, and she has got to bear it along in all the ages;
sho is the great conservative and really controlling forco. I wish
they would let her alone. I am sick of all this petty talk about her.
The 'Study', has not felt at liberty to exclude this intemperate
language from its impartial pages.
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