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Goodwin's weekly : a thinking paper for thinking people. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1902-1929, August 14, 1909, Image 20

Image and text provided by University of Utah, Marriott Library

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/2010218519/1909-08-14/ed-1/seq-20/

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H 22 GOODWIN'S WEEKLY1
Hi D Aubist Do you think my battle
H J picture expresses, as 1 have meant it
H ; to, all the poignant horrors of war?
H Krittick Oh, yes; it's the awfullest
H i thing I ever saw. Cleveland Leader.
B " I Benevolent Old Gentleman 1 am
H j sorry, Johnny, to see you have a black
f j eye. Promising Youth You go home
11 and feel sorry for your own little boy
- he's got two! Philadelphia In-
' quirer.
H Epicure Waiter, this steak is pos-
H r itively bad. It must be three weeks
H I old. Waiter Ah, pardon .monsieur!
H i I have made ze jneestake, and have
H brought you ze venison. Epicure
Venison? Oh, yes! Then you may
leave it. (Tastes it.) Ah! to be sure,
it is venison; and very nice, too
very nice, indeed. Town Topics.
"Ever experience a stage-robber?"
"Once I asked a chorus girl to
lunch." Philadelphia Public Ledger.
"How was the table at your summer
reaort?" "Splendid. Never had such
canned goods in my life!"
First Visitor What a singular chin
the old boy has? Second Visitor
Singular! I should call it plural.
The Tatler.
I BOND BUYERS
I
H Who wish to keep in touch with all State,
M County, and Municipal Bond Issues
H J should get our Daily Bulletin.
H Prompt Service
H ; Nominal Cost
I Intermountain Press Clipping
B Bureau
He 224-225-226 Commercial Club' Building
I G.
A Reduced Rates
via
Convention lHl
I Salt Lake A , A L
Ask Agents
I City
I August
1 0-14
j D. E. BURLEY,
H 000 Gen. Pass. Agent,
I W V Sat Lakc Cityi utah
Hi
B MirniMimirimimmimwiiiiiMiiM i i
m
I
Politician Congratulate me, my
dear, I've won the nomination. His
Wife (in surprise) Honestly? Poli
tician Now what in thunder did you
want to bring up that point for?
The Globe.
We lost a wheel." 'ITow did you
get home?" "One of the girls let us
take her Merry Widow hat." Boston
Traveler.
Dyer I don't think I will take a va
cation this year. Ryer Why not?
Dyer I still owe the doctor for fixing
me up 'after last year's. Puck.
"You know the poet says a man
must be either the hammer or fche an
vil." Lots of fellows I know are more
like the bellows!" Boston Transcript.
Fortune Teller I can read that
there is to be a wreck in your home,
and it will be caused by a blonde
woman. Patron Oh .that has already
occurred. Our new Swedish maid
let the dumb waiter fall and broke all
the dishes. Baltimore American.
"We don't have dinner in the mid
dle of the day at our boarding house
any more." "You have lunch, I sup
pose?" "No, luncheon." "Well, that's
the same thing.' ' "Oh, no, it isn't!
Lunch is a light dinner, and luncheon
is a light lunch." Puck.
Bridget Sure, now, yez don't mane
ter say yer livin' In a family phere
there ain't no cat. Who kin ye blame
things on? Ann The chlldher'.
Bridget Oh, it' foolln' ye are! Ann
They aren't her own chlldher'; they're
the master's. New York Weekly.
"You are concealing something
from me!" hissed the villain. "Cer
tainly I am." replied the leading
Indv. "I, ain't no Salome!" Houston
Post.
"Maria, do you remember that fine
dinner you got up 'all by yourself on
the day I asked you to be mine?"
"Yes, indeed, George!" "Everything
was splendid." "I am sure it was."
"Ah, I wish your mother was living
with us now, Maria." Puck.
"Since you have insisted on trying
on my hat, Miss Mabel, I shall cer
tainly claim the forfeit." "I don't
know what you mean, sir; and be
sides, this isn't a good place; they
can see us from tho hotel." Life.
"You want a speedy car, of course?"
"You bet." "How about a hill clim
ber?" "Oh, I don't keer to go after
pedestrians to that extent. Just gim
me a machine that will get 'em on
the flat." Pittsburg Post.
Gus What did you think of our
amateur theatricals, Miss Mamie?
Rather a rare entertainment, was it
not? Miss Mamie, Well er yes; it
wasn't very well done, to be sure.
Harper's Bazar.
"What is a chauffeur, Hans?" "A
chauffeur is a man who is smart
enough to run an auto, but too smart
to own one!" Kansas City Journal.
LEGAL NOTICES.
AD GOODWIN N..esG
AD ELY CON NOIiCE
By order of the Board of Directors
of Ely Consolidated Copper Company
at a meeting held on August 10, 1909,
the date upon which stock shall be
come delinquent pursuant to the fore
going notice and extension, was fur-
ther extended to September 20, 1909,
and sale day to Saturday, November
G, 1909, at 2 o'clock p. m., at the Com
pany's office, 414 Judge Building, Salt
Lake City, Utah.
GIDEON SNYDER, Secretary.
8-14-9-18
The Salt Lake City
Brewing Company
beg to announce that it has increased facilities
for bottling the American Beauty beer, which is
admitted by all to be the best beer throughout
this western country, having no equal in quality.
J The greatest attention has been given to the
hygienic cleanliness of bottles and to the scientific
sterilization of the beer, and all this same
methodical care being used in every process of
manufacture, has made the American Beauty
Beer the favorite throughout the West.
The fact that the bottling house is equipped
with the finest and most up-to-date machinery
can be demonstrated on inspection, and a cordial
invitation is extended to all to come and see our ,
up-to date plant.
Respectfully,
The Salt Lake City Brewing Co.
JACOB MORITZ,
General Manager.
Corner Tenth East ana
Fifth South Streets
j

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