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H 8 GOODWIN'S WEEKLY M NEW" YORK THEATRICALS M BY FRANKLIN FYLES. H New York, Feb. 3. The actor too old to be H an ardent lover, yet still lagging' on the "stage in H affairs of the heart, takes recourse to a young H girl to do the wooing while he is unaware that H she dotes on him, or even that he yearns for her. H We have had that sort of sentimental thing over H and over with men of the star grade, it is oy H chance, though, that I can tell you of a variant H before it has. been mentioned in print. The oddity H of it is that the girl is the starred player; and H she fails to open the old chump's eyes to her de- H sire to be his wife. It is such a little bit of a H piece that Billie Burke was afraid the newspaper H critics, if they took a whack at it, would smash H it like sledgehammers on a butterfly. So she H slipped it in before a play too short to fill an H evening and made no announcement, and makes H of herself the first heroine to reach out for an H old bachelor and fetch him to herself. H "The Philosopher In an Orchard" is scissored H and pasted from a story by Anthony Hope. It is H as provocative of wedlock as a naive actress in H 'a white frock and orange trees in blossom can H 'make it. The philosopher sits under a tree, talks H learnedly of scientific things, while the girl re- H dines on the grass, handles flowers and tries to H wake him to his love of her. She tells him that H a young fellow has asked her to marry, that she H likes but doesn't love him, that her heart has H 'gone to a man of intellect whom she describes in i va way that should make the philosopher recognize H1 .himself; yet the 'wise guy is a fool, doesn't per- B: (ceive that she is throwing herself at him, and H 'lets her go to the other chap. It hardly seems l ,'ilike Billie Burke not to say right out: "You old j 'dolt, I love you." Hi H We have dramatic matter more fantastic than H ttiat in "The Piper" and "Chantecler." The piper H r is the pied one of Hamelin, who in the German m Megend lured the rats from a village with magic m , .music, but was refused pay for it, and for ven- Hi 'jgeance led the children away never to return. j tiBrowning poetized, the tale like that, you remem- H iber, and a long- ago spectacular extravaganza H j.'didn'fc dare to fool with the story; but a Harvard j "professor's wife, Josephine Preston Peabody, wrote fl iher own. version in a play and tradition be hanged. B She didn't mudrake in the legend for graft in the H 'council of Hamelin, nor dig for a worse motive H in the rat contractor than retaliation. Instead she m characterized the musical musician as a good- M hearted fellow, who lured the children from Hame- B ! lin because he loved them, and they were so B fond of him that they didn't "wish to go home. ' 'Mrs. Peabody won the Shakespeare centennial M ; prize with "The Piper," and it was acted In last B , summer's festival at Stratford. London hasn't had it. New York gets it at the New Theatre very pictorially. The mayor of New York is amiable in licensing children on the stage, and more than a hundred scamper after the pied piper out of Hamelin and into the hollow hill, where he cares for and amuses them endearingly. He is the leader of a strolling troupe whose stunts delight the youngsters. The mothers bother him, however, with their yearning love of the lost ones, une woman finds him and make a piteous plea for her boys. His heart breaks to give up his willing captives, but he does it, and the ordeal of the parting is almost tearful to the audience. Finally the musician pipes his little guests back to their homes and departs lonesomely with his fellow strollers. "The Piper" is a noteworthy show on the revolving triplicate stage of the theatre found ed by millionaires. THE MICROBE'S SERENADE At the recent New Theatre banquet in New York, tieorge Ade recited a jingle which he called "The Microbe's Serenade." It runs as follows: A lovelorn microbe met by chance At a swagger bacteriodal dance A proud bacillian belle, and she Was first of the animalculae, Of organism saccharine, She was the protoplasmic queen. The microscopical pride and pet Of the biological smartest set, And so this infinitesimal swain Evolved a pleading low refrain: "O lovely metamorphic germ, What futile scientific term Can well describe your many charms? Come to these embryonic arms Then hie away to my cellular home And be my little diatom'!' His epithelium burned with love, He swore by molecules above She'd be his own gregarious mate, Or else he would disintegrate. This amorous mite of a parasite Pursued the germ both day and night . And 'neath her window often played This Darwin-Huxley serenade He'd warble to her every day This rhizopodlcal roundelay: "O most primordial type of spore, I never met your like before, And though a microbe has no heart, From you, sweet germ, I'll never part. We'll sit beneath some fungus growth Till dissolution claims us both!" Ask for Louis Roederer (Brown Label) Champagne. I ' Men and Women jfiBrafe H Have equal rights to our unequaled quality on vjfcTfci ) LCXf U v H rs laundering. It's obtained by the phone call. We J -tw L-. dlBIC M j use only SOFTENED. and FILTERED WATER in IIHBHII I TROY LAUNDRY, The Laundry of Quality Bj BOTH PHONES 19a 166 MAIN STREET . I A WISE SUGGESTION C5 EAST THIRD SOUTH FOR A FASTIDIOUS APPETITE EVERY TIME. The choice of the market, with prices con- "ST j fined to reason. Oysters, fish and game In ,w beason, prepared In every style. Choice, fancy dishes dally. TRY OUR SPECIAIi DAILY DISH. Special attention given to theatre parties. We pride ourselves on our carefully pre pared Sunday menus and efficient service. 1 Announcement Dr. F. E. Morgan, Dentist, has now sev- j ered all connection with Dr. Wm. Broad bent, and remains in the same location, v I Suite 500-2 Scott Building. First class work guaranteed at reason able prices. ADVERTISE IN Goodwins Weekly REACH THE SPENDERS t i II. nil J I THECLIFT SANITARIUM SAIT LAKE CITY, UTAH Corner Ninth East and Eleventh South "Warm Springs and AHltton Ave. Cars A Private Home and Hospital for the obser vation, care and treatment of Nervous, and Select Cases of Mental, Narcotic and Alco holic Disease. Under tho personal supervision of the Rosl- ' dent Physician, Dr. Frederick Cllft, late of tho Medical Staff of tho Stato Mental Hos- ' pltal, at Provo. Consultative and referred cases received on ethical basis. j City OlTlcc, B23 Melntyrc Btilltllner, Main Street. IIourN, 2 to 4 p. m. Appointments to suit convenience of Consult ants and Patients may bo made with tho ! Matron. Bell Phono 2GG8v. We've the MPXTJ'T A I Rales Food In Setuon fV h X Within Reason COLLEGE INN Where Home Cooking, Comfort and Cleanli ness are Features. Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner Served Daily. Supper Parties Spec ially Catered to. 121 Cast Third South Adjoining Knutsford I A a JB329H ii DNIYERSAL SERVICE