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M 4 GOODWIN'S WEEKLY H Only CSnino iuvr)vn. H George Harkness used to tell a H story about poker. It rivaled the cele- H brnted poker story told so famously H by Joe Caino. Over at the Com- B merciil club the boys start a friendly H little gamo now and then. It is a B tamo affair for a. few days and tlTon H it begins to get faster until soma one H puts something over, a rowrosults, H nnd tho order goes forth from) the H board of governors that pokor play- H ing must be stoppod. For several H months there would bo no poker nnd H then some of the members would H call on Secretary Caino and say: H "Joe, why is it w can't have a Hj little gentlemanly game of poker in H the club?" H "Why, you can," says Caine, "if you H find tho gontlomon." m But to get back to Ilnrknoes: In m tho old days when the Walkor houso H was in fall swoop of Its roign, a gamo H -was running thoro-wlth no foaryjn tho H part of its sponsors of interruption H from tho police. Dan Clift usod to Hj play there a great deal, and it Is H said he last a let of money from time HJ to time. One day Harkness met him M on tho street. M "nan," said he, "I want to warn H you against that poker game you are H mixing in. It's en ked and there H isn't a chance for you to win. You neer do win, do you?" H "Well, George," replied Dan, "to H tell the truth, I haven't won any- Hj thing. I'll look out, though, for any- H thing that doesn't appear to be on the H square. Much obliged for your warn- H Ten days later Harkness met Cl'ft H on the street. H "What did you learn about that H game over at the Walker house?" H iitked George. H "It's crooked, nil right," replied H Clift, "lu what in hell ai., I to oo Hj about it? It's the only game in iH town." H H 3Ir. Hammond' Farm. B One of ths local prophets of the H gospel whose text is: "Put People H on the LaTd," found about ten thoua- Hf and acres of level dry kind in Tooele H! county that wasn't working, and he WM tried to Interest one Mfter another KM some half doseti local Cresuses whose Hh bank ba In. ices are too big. anyway, j but they were too busy expecting to B do something, and wouldn't take hold. B 80 the local prophet, remembering H him of a hint John Hays Hammond H dropped when last in Salt Lake, wrote Wm the millionaire engineer and tanvar IH f earth's wild. He pointed out the M glory of a really big farm, the Joy of Hj peeing ten thousand acres of ripen ing wheat, tho nice little clean-up "when the cold winds start to blow." And ho got an answor. In reply Mr. Hammond confessed appreciation of the picture, indorsed tho schomo as feasible, and dropped nn artist hint confessing tho appeal of that picturo of goldon grain. But lie said ho was busy Just for the moment with an olght-hundred-thous-and-ncro farm in Moxico. And tho local prophet gave up the hope that tho genius of Jamison's Raid would find time to farm in Tooele. Which? Since Cam Brown got rid of poli tics nnd his vormiforrro appendix ho is getting fattor. He complains that ho never felt quito so woll as now nnd looks it. Tha other day ho was talking about his oxporionco in tho assessor's office, and nn auditor asked him: "In all your eight years there did you ever know a man to nsk for a bigger assessment?" "Yes two," replied Cam Brown solemnly. "Who wore they?" gasped one of the listeners. "D. C. Jackling and Colonel Wall." Which gave rlsa to the query: "Does mining make a man honest, or do honest men make mining pay?" And the committee still has that problem under discussion. Why Colonel Booth Blushed. Former Colonel II. 13. Booth was coming down on the street car the other day when the man beside him tendered the conductor a ten-dollar bill in payment of fare. The con du tor couldn't change It without robbing himself of needed fractional currency, and he finally said he be lieved the man carried that big bill with the deliberate purpose of get ting his tar ride free. The matter gave promise of frank discussion, and Colonel Booth re stored what Mrs. Partington called the "jntlre cordial" by tearing off a ticket from his little book, and hand ing it to the conductor, saying: "I'll pay my frirnd's fare." That was all right till the con ductor passed, and then the men fished up a nickel and gave it to Colonel Booth. "I don't want to rob you, my friend," he said, with accent on the middle pronoun. And the lawyer man still is won dering why that passenger preferred to be honest with him, but was will ing to beat a streetcar, company. Kussol Can Rustic. Will Browning of Ogden was down the other day, jnd a former Weber county citizen hailed him as "Post master." That was because the Democratic State Chairman nnd tho Democratic National Committeeman have indorsed Will for tho Ogden postoffico job. Will grinned as ho hoard the greet ing, and went his way. "Looks like ho had a cinch on tho oflfco," said the former Weberlto. And maybe it is a cinch. But tho opposition of Near Congressman John son is not by any means tho only rock in Browning's pathway. John son isn't seoking the office for him self. Ho has a good l&w practice, and wouldn't glvo it up 'for anything less than Joe Howell's job at Washing ton. But he has rather extendod himself getting the jplaco for his frlond S. S. Smith, ono of the staunch Domocrnts of the Junction CIty, nnd a probably competent man. Browning doesn't neod fear tho Johnson man. Ho may have some good talking points, lor ho did make a good raco for congressional honors. But tho real peril to tho Browning hopes is our frlond Iko Russell. Isaac Is for Smith hard. And he has made himself mighty strong with Wilson, and with Bryan and with tho whole administration machine. He is, as you know, n Utah product and Utah Is proud of him for ths ability he has proven, whether or not we like the cause in which he proved it. Ho Is a fighter with a capital F, and a tireless worker in any cause where his heart is involved. But why ppeak of his heart? Be cause Isaac Is the son-in-law of the S. S. Smith arofesald, and he trots the said Smith's grandchildren on his reerential knoos. N. B. But Bill got the office, any way. Slower Than Snails. One time my other old friend A. C. Nelson, the only state superintendent of public instruction, attended a meeting of educators at which the representative from "Indiana devoted two hours and one speech to the pleasing task of telling how slow was SPEND AN EVENING AT . WANDAMERE everything in Utah. Ho carried-tho matter of Utah slowness so far, sought so oarnestly to Impress it, that nil his hearers bent upon Nelson the Inquiring e'yes of all sport lovers. So Nolson got the eyo of tho chair, and told this1 story: "My -Indiana frlond vlsitod mo nt Salt Lake last wintor, and I took him to tho Hotel Utah for lunch. Wc looked over the menu card, and his bright oye landed on a lino thatj at tracted him. "Hero's snails," ho said. "Are they any good?" k "I assured him they were, andjfho ordered some. Ho liked them sofvall that he sent in another order, and consumed them while I ate my moat Vy course. Then he ordered another while I took dessert, nnd toppedloff with a final plate when most iman would have had coffoo. I askodPhlm if they didn't havo any snails In irndi ana, nnd he said: 'Yos, plenty; but we can't catch them.' " And Nelson, like tho perfect sjory teller that he is, sat down. Tho stprm of applause proved that hits audi ence wasn't slow at all. Aurella. when wc first were wed And very poor, linked all our bread. W Ah, that was m.ny, many years ago! 1 But still I mind how sweet it seemed, When by the kitchen fire I dreamed, To watch Aurella briskly kneading dough. Aurella lives in splendor now, A score of servants to her bow; The chef and baker lord It (here below; But, dreaming Idly by the grate, Here in our drawlng-Eoom of state, I find Aurella still is needing dough. PUT PEOPLE ON THE LAND! .Advertise in Goodwin's Weekly. MAXIM'S When looking about for a cool spot these hot days, don't forget MAXIM'S CAFE. Drop in any time and be refreshed. OUR NOON-DAY LUNCHEONS; : : I are growing in favor. THERE'S A REASON. ', I MAXIM'S I E. G. WILLIE, Manager. j 1