B j 4 - GOODWIN'S WEEKLY.
H MODERN BL UE LA WS
l VIIAT U. iS. Senator "McCumbor
V KJ must be a Willi to Hat. He says:
V "The "best thing that could happen
H to tho American people would be the
H closing of every theatre and place of
H amusement in the United States for
H tho next ten years."
H I wonder if -we really send people
H with such ideas to make our lawB, or
t do they get that way after they get
H there. Here is State Senator Smith
H of Oregon Introducing a bill the other
fl, day 'which forbids the use among other
B "intoxicants" of coffee, tea, milk, ice
H cream, soda' water, roast veal, "and
m other intoxicants.
M We have a few of these fool laws
H up in my home state, New Hamp-
H shire. But they were wished on us
H many years ago, and have never been
H wished off again. For instance, we
1 have a law prohibiting a man from
m kissing his wife on 'Sunday. There
M isn't a word against kissing some
M other fellow's wife. It is also illegal
1 to cross a river on Sunday, to build a
H fire on Sunday, to cook on Sunday.
H But at that I don't see that our old
H (blue laws are any worse than these
H later-edition ones noted above. Will
H M. Cressy, in Bridgeport Life.
H FUNSTON NEVER FORGOT
HROM a contemporary comes the
following interesting little story
H indicating tho manner of man General
H Frederick Funston was.
H Says this friend: "I was detailed to
H get an interview with General Fun-
H ston several years ago, upon the oc-
H casion of a brief visit in the city.
H After considerable difficulty I located
H him out near tho Palms. It was a
H melting hot day and he had but a
H short time to stay in Los Angeles but
H he had heard that an old comrade who
H had been wounded in an engagement
H in the Philippine disturbance was liv-
H ing in a tiny cottage somewhere in
B the vicinity of the Palms, and he
H was climbing the hills out near that
little suburb oblivious to the dis-
H comfort of the errand in the desire
B to cheer this poor fellow. From him
H I learned, among other curious things,
B that the same caliber gun does not
H shoot so far on sea as on land, because
H of the elevation. He was a quiet man
H without any display, there was no
H fluster or stir to mark his presence;
B but, as you know, he was a master
H tactician."
H ' NO WONDER
M Poor Colonel Roosevelt! A great
m warrior vhose son Quentin would
H rather study than drill: an evangelist
H of the gospel, of large families whose
H . .daughter has 'been a wife for seven
H years without being able to become a
H mother. No wonder he wants to go
H to war!
' THE KAISER WAS ENRAGED
H, The New York Times publishes a
B story from Paris to tho effect that
Hit the kaiser was just sitting down to
Hj( table when the news came that the
1
United States had broken off diplo
matic relations, and that ho flew into
a violent rage directed principally
against von Bernstorff who, he com
plained, had been lacking in tact in
handling '.'the hypocritical English
pastor at Washington," meaning tho
president. Chancellor von Bethmann
Ilollweg (finally succeeded in appeas
ing tho kaiser's wrath. The story is
said to come from the kaiserin, and
if true would indicate that she gos
sips indiscreetly about her husband.
QUICK-SOIL RADICALS
There is a whole caste of quick-soil
radicals In America who came into
being In anger and feed on resent
ment. They make a religion of
wrath. They conceive anything like
cfitical examination or calm thinking
to 'be treachery. As a consequence
they never take root in fundamental
soil, they never bear any fruit except
small, bitter, misshapen berried.
George Soule in the New Republic.
HAPPY IDEA
The railway iboard had met to con
sider the case of old Tom Jones, who
in a train accident had 'become deaf.
"Well," said a director, "old Tom
has been with us a long time, and we
want to find him a new job. What do '
you suggest?"
"I know," said the chairman. "Let's
put him in charge of tho complaints
department." Tid-Bits.
UK : : jU
YourDollar Q-
An Economic Problem
ID o
While the cost of nearly every necessity of life has been steadily increasing,
the rates for telephone service have remained practically the same.
. j The buyer of foodstuffs, although paying much more, receives but sixteen , ,
ounces to the pound. On the other hand, the telephone user is constantly
receiving more and better service and paying the same or even a less rate
than he did a few years ago.
Gradually the value of telephone service has been increased by a constant
increase in the number of telephones added to the system and by improve
ments and refinements in the telephone art.
Steadily, too, the cost of every piece of equipment and of all supplies, copper
wire, iron wire, poles, hardware, etc., used in the business of furnishing serv
ice, has increased- enormously.
In other words, our revenues have not increased in proportion to increased
value of the service or in proportion to increased cost of furnishing the service.
This presents a serious problem in which the public and the Company ?.re
mutually interested.
The Mountain States Telephone and Telegraph Co. J
Y "" J
i
ii
' J