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GOODWIN'S WEEKLY 13 H HOME; SWEET HOME WAS brought up out in Kansas Jm On a great big prairie farm. And even as a baby Music had for me a charm. I saved my dimes and nickles And brought a slide trombone. , And the first tuno that I tooted Was "Home, Sweet Home." And then when I got bigger I joined a Minstrel Show; And I tooted and I blatted From Maine to Mexico. I could play the hardest music On that battered old trombone. But the one thing that would stick me J Was that "Home, Sweet Home." And then I'd see the Old Folks; My Mother at the door. i And my Daddy sitting smoking, Down at the village store. And I knew that they were longing To hear that old trombone, And to hear me in the evening, Playing "Home, Sweet Home." And then I joined the army, Went with Pershing "Over there;" And I thought I had got rid of That memory haunting air. 'Till one night again I heard it, It seemed to come from Heaven's dome. Some German boys, 'cross No Man's Land, Were singing "Home, Sweet Home." And once, when night had fallen, Out on that No Man's Land, I was hunting a missing Drummer, A boy from our own band. I found him lying, gasping, His lips all bloody foam. He was dying; and was trying To sing "Home, Sweet Home." So when this war is over, If the Lord is good to me, I am going back to Kansas And that home across the sea. And there with Dad and Mother And my battered old trombone I'll try without a sobbing To play "Home, Sweet Home." Will M. Cressy in Bridgeport Life. NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT eOOD old Saint Peter, taking a trip through the realm of Para dise, observed a middle aged woman, a very recent arrival whoso expres sion betokened anything but happi ness,. Instantly he approached her to inquire the cause. "My good woman," he began, "you don't look as though you were enjoy ing yourself. Your golden lmrp is un touched at your side. Your crown of glory is not on straight, yet seeming ly you do not care. In fact, your whole appearance and demeanor sug gest despair rather than rapture. Don't you know where you are, my good soul? This is heaven." The woman looked up at Saint Uet er with a lack-luster eye. "Alas, I know it," she said in hollow tones, "but it is not heaven to me." 2" """"" wu1 ' -- Mr vq 1 Uncle Sam Must Be Served First r H I Tlio high development of telephone efficiency in this country gave the United States, ' M . . when it entered the war, a superiority over all other nations for quick communl- , fl fl cation. r 1 H lho nation's capital and the various military headquarters are linked with all the M great industrial centers of the country by the long-distance lines of the Bell Tele- M phone System. H Thousands of miles of special telephone wires have been turned over to the govern nient for its exclusive use. fl Right of way is given to government telephone calls over all lines. M In its prosecution of the war our government has the effective co-operation of the M JJell Telephone System, which reaches 70,000 communities and extends to every M military camp in the United States. fl !Pno man in every ten from the maintenance and construction forces of this com- M pany is now in. the telephone signal corps of the army or in some other branch of M the military service. H Not only have our men answered their country's call, but the telephone operators M are "doing their bit" also. These faithful young women realize the tremendous M dependence the nation places on rapid communication in this crisis, and are accept- ing cheerfully the heavy responsibilities thrust upon them. H In spite of the war and what it has meant to this company in the increnscd number M of telephone messages to handle, the enlistment of so many of our trained employes, M the shortage of equipment, and the high cost of telephone materials M In spite of all these obstacles, wo are meeting the needs of the public for telephone M service in a remarkably successful way. M UL The Mountain States Telephone & Telegraph Company JU H ''What? Why, my dear madam, what" "I can't help it; It's true. When I was on earth I got my chief enjoyr ment out of talking about my ail ments, swapping symptoms with the woman next door. Oh, you cannot realize the sunny hours I spent. And now and now " "But, my dear soul," expostulated the saint, "there are no ailments in heaven." The unhappy shade 'heaved a heart rending sigh. "That's just the trouble. I'm perfect ly well," she said; "I haven't a single topic for conversation. Andrew Carnegie was once asked which he considered to be the most important factor in industry labor, capital, or brains? The canny Scot re plied with a merry twinkle in his eye, "Which is the most important leg of a three-legged stool?" Christian Register. AN OLD STORY (Continued from Page 9.) with her the darkest forests of Africa. For her part Anna had too much good sense not to distinguish between the enthusiasm of passion and a sincere zeal for missionary work; but his ex citement could not permit her to doubt that she was loved; and that at least was one of the satisfactions in life which she had promised herself. Might not what was still lacking fol low in time as the fruit perhaps of a less tumultuous infatuation? She promised her hand to the young man without making any other condition than that he should love her faithfully, and the marriage took place without delay. Even if their zeal, which shows no more sign of declining than their mutual tenderness, never takes them ro Africa, there is no doubt they will always continue to help, both by their counsel and their purse similar enterprises." I had hardly spoken the last words H of the story when she for whom I had H resusciated it turned upon me with: M "That is the silliest story you have H ever told me." H "I said you would not like it," I ex- H claimed triumphantly. M "But you told it so pompously." H "That is how it ought to bo hold," H said I. '"You are too modern, that is H all. When the Abbe Prevost told your H great-great-grandmother sentiment of H it delicious; and your great-grand- H daughter will find the psychologic epi- H sodes you delight in with their sharp H or blunt points equally odd and ted- H ious; probably even more odd and tc- H dious than this sort of story." H "But the end is so fiat," said she. H The end, I maintained, was delight- H fully fiat. H "You have not oven understood the moral," I went on. "Let me tell it to you again: A young woman of ex- traordlnary beauty" . . . but I was H stopped. Town Talk. H