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GOODWIN' S WEEKLY 13 i "room, looking down at mo while tho . . su1b flowed about my shoulders. "Mr. Updegraff!" My name had scarcely escaped her lips when she lifted that head of ' hers, thjit overwhelming head, slowly, iory slowly. She then lifted those eyelids, more slowly still. Finally she lifted' her arm, the right arm, until the hand played with an ear. What need had! now to bo told that tho characteristlc gesture of tho woman I loved was unconscious? It was her reaction to a suppressed merriment that half -suffocated Algaia Zabriskie My mind reverted, even while she assisted me to a sitting posture be side tho bucket, to tho fact that I alone evoked the characteristic ges flre of the well-bred girl. How ften, oh, how often, had I not been f almost the death of Aglaia Zabri3kio! I could Interpret correctly at last the quizzical look in the countenance of Crackanthornton Littleton when he ' laughed and told mo that I alone had the privilege of witnessing the char acteristic gesture. While the butler scraped tho soap from tho soles of my shoes, I comforted myself with tho assurance that it would be a work of supererogation to hunt up Pickthorpe Douglas before he went off to Siam. THE THREE PHRASES kX7 H,LL' have a cool'r?" tho W late Fred Leslie (of im s 1" mortal memory) used to ask, flinging a handful of torn-up pa- " per into the air and shivering as the flakes came down. Another comedian, not less famous, has also just invent ed ajpeducer of heat, but in his case it is mental heat rather than physi cal; and the cure consists of three phrases. These phrases, ho maintains, if ap plied systematically and rythmically no matter what the argument or cause of the dispute or tho height of the other party's thermometer are bound to bring about eithor perfect peace or the rout of the enemy, prob ably in silence. It may bo a taxi driver smarting under the justice of v tho faro paid him; it may be a too officious official; it may merely bo a rude stranger tho same result is guaranteed. n These are tho phrases: --$) 1. Don't say that. 2. Don't be- unkind. 3. Now you're being humorous. For tho sake of an example let us take the case perhaps tho most . probable of a taxi-driver. But an emperor would do as well. The cab man's fare is throe shillings and you have given him a shilling tip, but, ow ing to the lateness of tho hour, or his distance from home, or the rain, he considers himself underpaid Here," ho says, "tho job's worth W?moro than that, isn't it?" "Don't say that." "But I do say it. A gentleman who was a gentleman would make it worth my while." "Don't to unkind." "Unkind! What do you moan? If I'd known I wasn't going to got more than this I wouldn't have taken you." "Now you're being humorous." "Humorous be . I'm not hu morous.' "Don't say that." "Oh, go to ." "Don't be unkind." "If ever you hail me again, strike me pink if I drive you no, not for a quid a mile." "Now you're being humorous." "Humorous. I tell you I'm not hu morous. I'm serious." "Don't say that." By this time any ordinary cabman will be moving off. In the case of the extraordinary ones tho throe phrases must recur a little oftener, that's all. I mentioned an emperor just now; let us try his case. The same pre scription applies. "I offer you a German peace." "Don't say that." "We to retain Belgium." "Don't bo unkind." "And recover our colonies." "Now you're being humorous.' "Humorous! If you don't agree you'll soon find there's nothing hu morous about it." "Don't say that." " "I do say it and I shall go on say ing it." "Don't be unkind." "How could a German ever be un kind?" "Now you're being humorous." "Bah! We leave humor to you Brit ish. Wo prefer sense." "Don't say that." "I do say it." "Don't bo unkind.' "Unkind! Aren't we hero to talk peace?" "Now you're being humorous." Why should these three phrases bo so deadly? Their first merit is to lift their user into a position of superior ity which cannot be without its effect on the other. Then they give him the semblance of a pained reasonable ness, and a pained reasonableness is both offensive and defensive, being one of tho most difficult armor-plates to penetrate and also, in time, an ir resistible siege-gun. The man who tolls you not to be unkind always has you at a disadvantage and must in time wear you out; while to go on to acuse you of humor is oven subtler. You know perfectly well that you had no intention of being humorous; you oven know that you were not; but since a desire to bo thought humor ous is a prevailing human passion you come in time to wonder if, after all, you may not have brought off some thing rather good, and in that fond hope your anger fades. As a matter of fact, although there must always be moments of irascibil ity, the war has not, so far as one's observation goes, increased bad tem per; rather the reverse. Probably our ever-present consciousness of so stu pendous a calamity has made individ ual bickerings too potty, or we hove been stunned into equability; what ever tho reason the fact remains that ORP H EU VI SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT H ' Mall Orders for the Engagement of JH l ki WTI IBEMPLI'C MADAME pfl ffllCrIlrIllrl 3 SARAH BERNHARDT H V7?,r7 T V7 at tno Salt Lake Orpheum, Week of SH A-VSUPREME TraUMPHvjr Au0, 13 Now Being Received. dlmmmik L LjBftt,Y' Window Sale Opens August 4. ? AUC A Ep ITfcvX PRIOES FOR MADAME BERNHARDT fl f MMPyTj M y i J Prices Tax Total fl fip If irlCfcTBrJCJjf" Lodges $1.00 $.10 $1.10 ffl iVAllOVP TTiVSUS tUn r.DPATUko", is'irst 16 Rows . . .75 .08 .83 ! IT Lrri? f'.T? Last 10 Rows.. .50 .05 .55 T o TSie 1s4l l&ZZi)? Dress Clrclo 23 .03 .28 Y BATTLE SCEhES ON fnEW Balcony 10 .01 .11 WTTLEFIELDii'QF FPAMCEJf , Evenings. Ns.fi(jrrK AiiVru em-iij Boxes ana H WJDER AUSPU EVBRITraHffir Lodges $1.00 $.10 $1.10 XAWIytDy First 15 Rows .. 1.00 .10 1.10 Now Playlne 8econd Week Dress Clrclo . . .50 .05 55 H 2:30-;TWICE DAILY 8:30 Last 6 Rows Augmented Orchestra, 20 Pieces. Dress Clrclo .. .25 03 8 H PRirPQMats, 25c 50c 75c- Balcony 10 .01 ill H nUlE.O Eves., 25c, 50c, 75, $1 - one may pass about this great city of conflicting ambitions and seo only hu man beings in amity. Here and there the driver of one vehicle may snarl a sarcasm at the driver of another (who obviously ought to have brought out his mother to hold the reins in his stead), but, take them all round, tempers are being amazingly well kept. Although the inventor of the Three Phrases pretends to have devised his system in order that those Avho prac tice it may triumph over their antag onists, ono may entertain tho suspic ion (for he is a great philosopher) that part of his purpose was that those who practice it should triumph over themselves, too. For it would be Impossible to put it into effect without absolute calmness, and to maintain calmness in disputation is more than tho beginning of wisdom and victory. Prom Punch. TIME TO RESIGN A retired army officer tells of an army examiner who had before him a very dull candidate. The man prov ing, apparently, unable to make re sponse to the most simple questions, the examiner finally grew impatient and, quite sarcastically put this ques tion: "Let it be supposed that you are a captain in command of infantry. In your rear is an impassable abyss. On both sides of you there rise perpen dicular rocks of tremendous height. In front of you lies the enemy, out numbering you ten to one. What, sir, in such an emergency, would you do?" "I think, sir," said the aspirant for military distinction, "I would resign." Harper's Monthly. PROBATE AND GUARDIANSHIP NOTICE8. Consult County Clerk or the Respect. Ive Signers for Further Information. NOTICE OF SALE. WHEREAS, on to-wit, the first day of September, 1910, Daniel B. Pinck entered into a certain contract with Blaine County Irrigation Company, Ltd., a corporation organized under Ihe laws of Idaho, for the purchase of Ono Hundred Sixty (160) shares of stock of Blaine County Canal Company - ! h for the sum of Four Thousand ($4,000) payable in part in cash and the re- H mainder in certain instalments with H interest on the deferred payments of H such purchase price at the rate of six H (6) per cent per annum, payable an- H nually, and contemporaneously with fl the execution of said contract pledged IH with said Blaine County Irrigation IH Company, Ltd., said shares of stock H evidenced by stock certificate number- !fl ed -10 issued by said Blaine County jH Canal Company, Ltd., as security for IH tho payment of the deferred part of H such purchase price with interest as H aforesaid; and WHEREAS, the; 'tor all the right, H title and interest said Blaine Coun- ty Irrigation Co. ipany, Ltd., in and under said contract was transferred jH to and became vested in Blain Coun- jH ty Investment Company, a corporation H organized under the laws of Idaho; IH and Pm WHEREAS, on to-wit, the first day H of July, the said Daniel B. Pinck and IH said Blaine County Investment Com- SH pany entered into a further and sup- H plementary contract whereby, inter jIH alia, the indebtedness then due from IH said Daniel B. Pinck to said Blaine j H County Investment Company under H said original agreement, was compro- j H mised and settled and the amount , H thereof determined to be the sum of jH Three Thousand Five Hundred Eigh- 'H ty-four ($3,584) Dollars, which last 'H mentioned amount the said Daniel B. H Finck agreed to pay to the said Blaine j H County Investment Company, or its i H successors-in-interest, at the banking H house of tho undersigned Columbia "H Trust Company, in Salt Lake City, jH Utah, in certain instalments particu- jH ary agreement until maturity thereof H larly specified -in said agreement H with interest on such installments H from the date of said supplemen- IH at the rate of six per cent (G) per jH annum, payable annually on the first JH day of December of each year; and l'H WHEREAS, it is provided in and by H said original contract, as modified by H said supplementary contract that in H the event the said Daniel B, Finck H shall make default in the payment of H any instalments of the indebtedness 'H due from him as provided in said sup- ,H plementary agreement, or shall fail to IH pay interest on the unpaid instalments fjfl of said indebtedness, when due, and ;ifl such default shall continue for a pe- H riod of more than thirty days, the said H Blaine County Irrigation Company, IH Ltd., and its successor-in interest, H Blaine County Investment Company, j H may, at its election, declare the whole H of such indebtedness to be immediate- , H ly due and payable, anything in said JH contract to tho contrary notwithstand- ,1H ing; and WHEREAS, all the right, title and H interest of said Blaine County Invest- !H ment Company in and under said con- jH tracts has been assigned to and is now JH vested in the undersigned Columbia IH ill