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I 14 THE DESER'ET FARMER -Saturday, deoemberms, 1908. I CHRISTMAS IS COMING! I WE NEED SOME MORE NEW SUBSCRIBERS I TO MAKE 1O.000 BY JANUARY 1, 1909. I WE MUST HAVE' THEM! I You want some Christmas Presents! I LET US CO-OPERATE! I HOW TO SUPPLY OUR MUTUAL WANTS H If you will send us in some subscriptions you may aval yourself of H the following list of valuable articles as per each offer contained therein. These articles are bought by us from the great AUERBACH store, Salt I Lake City, and have their guarantee of being standards for the prioes. H No. 1. Men's unlincd tan kid gloves, No. 10. Boy's Golf caps, No. 4817, H fancy silk-stitched corded backs; cheviots, onssimcrcs and tweeds, a H snap fasteners; beauties, and just topnotchcr, for only two subscribers. H tire correct, swell thing for a young No. n. Pair beautiful imitation tor- H gentleman's present. Given for toisie shell side combs, No. 4352, H thre new cash subscribers. heavy top, highly polished given I No. a. Boys' tan-colored gauntlet for only one new subscription. g lovca, No. 5004; strongly made, soft No. ia. Back comb, handsome, imi- and pliable; two bright red stripes tation tortoise shell, ornamented, across tops, just what every boy Jor one new subscription. needs at this season. Send in three No. I3.;-Thc famous "Sun brand new subscriptions and get a pair; or, bone hairpins, extra quality, V dozen one subscription and 50 cents; two n box. one box for a new subscriber. subscriptions and 25 cents. No. Ladies' Hand-bag, 7 inches H No 7 Men's extra oualitv No long, strongly made, very handsome ,3Californnia goa'kiand'horse: nd -erceable, for only three new hide gauntlet gloves, with reinforced J"1 "J11"??, .nm . vj ,-c. thumbs; a splendid working glove- N. x-Envclopc bag, No. 3564, the very thing for father or big JP " rbah?LS?AT. X brother a Christmas present. You ? c H, L ,iv n2 fl H I can get them on same terms as of- J"c' ?fter ?vL ", ' d H r- m r- K.,ri c-nri in i. stunner tor twelve names. i?,hrfntVnnil y No. .-Ladies' belt in fine, soft subscripuonsl kid, black, tan and brown, aj. in- No. 4. Plain gold-plated collar but- chcs wide round ilt buckles 2xaJ tons, strong and serviceable, set of inches only two new subscribers H three -for one new cash subscriber. gets jt J' S. Handsomely designed gold No I7'. 5. fast-bl-ck, two- plated cuff buttons-good ones, one clasp 51.,.-- giOVCSi No. 3420t m Px for one new subscriber. warm nnd fme ch ncw aubgcrjp. No. 6. The famous "Uncle Sam" tion gets one pair. H suspender, for men or boys, one pair No. 18. The swell "Famosa" ladies' for each new subscription. overseam sewed glace kid gloves. No. 7. French elastic webb suspen- a-clasp wrist, perfect fitting, excel- der, No. 5072, pair for two new lent wearing, black, white, brown, subscribers. red, a delight to the fancy of wo H No. 8. Boi knee pants, No. 4807, man-kind, given for five new sub H 4 to 16 years, black and brown with scriptions. gray mixtures and stripes, and drb No. 19. Fancy tapestry cushion corduroy ent for two new sub- cover, No. aaia, tassels on corners, gcxiben. ready for use, one new subscriber. No. 9. Boy's Yacht caps, No. 4813, No. 30 Ladies' patent tip "Juliet" H all wool cheviots and homespun house slippers, black kid. medium H mixtures, a. delight to any boy, a heel, a beauty, and comfortable, H' Krrviceable article and a fine present jet together six new subscribers for Hi for two new subscriber. us and we'll send you a pair. H . , . H Provision: Owing to the great number of premiums to be awarded un- H , der these offers, it is within the range of possibility that our supply on H some particular articl may at times be -exhausted, in which event we will H t at once communicate that f to our subscriber and allow them a second H , choice. H $ Be sure to give size, age and pattern in ordering articles of wearing ap- V parel. Always give number of article on this list. ' If you do not see what you wint in the albove list, write us, we will get HL it for you and make you an offer. I ANY MAN OR WOMAN, ANY BOY OR GIRL H can procur subscribers by a little effort at odd times. Show your ae H quaintanccs the Deseret Farmer urge upon them the value ol the pub- H Ucation don't cease your efforts until you liave their subscription. H Send remittance by P. O. Money-orier where convenient. Address I THE DESERET FARMER H SECURITY AND TFTIST BLDG. SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH I l-i II.. 1 1 H THE HOME, I ON THE WRONG SCENT. A prominent citizen of Washington was travelling over a line of railway' with which he was unfamiliar. At a certain point the road passes a fer tilizer factory, the odor from which is offensive. It is particularly dis agreeable to a lady who is compelled to make the journey daily. As a pro tection from the obnoxious atmos pheric, she is accustomed to carry a bottle of lavender salts. As the train approached the factory she produced the vial as usual, un stopped it and applied it to her nos trils. Presently the odors from the factory began to permeate the car. The Washington man .endured it as long as he felt that he could. At last he rose to his feet, and approach ing the lady, said, in his most polite manner: "Madam, may I request you to re place tHr stopper in that bottle?" GEOGRAPHY. The semi-annual examinations were held at a well-known private school the other day, and while inspecting the papers the teachers found many humorous answers to some of the questions. A class of boys, averaging about twelve years of age, had been examined in geography, which had bcJcn preceded! the day before by grammar. Among the questions in the geography paptcr was the follow ing: "Name the zones." One promising youth of eleven years wrote this answer: "There are two zones, masculine and feminine. The masculine is eith er temperate or intemperate; the fem inine is either torrid or frigid." Illus trated Bits. THE OLDEST OF PROFESSIONS An old friend of the family had dropped in to see a young lawyer whose father was still paying his of fice rent. "So you arc now practising law," the old friend said, genially. "No sir," said the candid youth. "I appear to be, but. I am really practis ing economy." A HAPPY SOLUTION. There had been a long-stnding dif ference of opinion in the Plunkctt family concerning the dining-tablc. Mrs. Plunkctt maintained that its' legs were too short, and ought to be lengthened at least half an inch. I "It doesn't fit our chairs, Jarcd, and you know it," she contended. "When ' wc sit down to this table we're too 1 high above it. You could have pieces of wood glued on the ends of the legs. That would be easier than to saw off the ends of all the chair-legs." j "I don't agree to your proposition at all, Cordelia," said Mr. Plunkctt. "I think the table is just right. But I'm willing to compromise the mat ter. You have' been wanting a hard wood floor in this dining-room for a long time, haven't you?" "Yes." "Well, wic can liave that ncw kind of hardwood flooring that is laid -on j top .of the old floor. That will raise the entire surface three-eighths of an j inch or more, and that will raise the table, of course, just so much. How will that do?" This seemed to be a fair proposi tion, and without a moment's hesita- , tion Mrs. Plunkctt accepted it as a satisfactory compromise. - 1 IT DID NOT WORK. Mrs. Billings was installing the ncw cook, a maiden from Finland, to whom the kitchen contrivances of America were new and) wonderful. . "This, Ina," said the lady, indicating a perforated wooden board that hung against the kitchen wall, "is the order list. See, it says 'butter, eggs, sugar, coffee, tea, molasses' everything that j we need to eat. Whenever we are out 1 of any of these things, all you need to do is to place one of these little pegs in the hole opposite the name, and the things will be ordered." Mrs. Billings is not a methodical housekeeper There were several consecutive days when she complete ly forgot the existence of the order list in the kitchen, but Ina labored with it faithfully. "Meesis," pleaded Ina, after strug gling with the order board for three days, "I tank dose board must bc.out -HH-M-H-HH-HHI-i