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Suffered Ten Years Relieved in Threi Months Thanks to PE-RU-NA. W Mil 3. B.FIZEK,Mt.8terltng,Ky.,STs: bare Buffered with kidney and Madder trouble tor ten year past iLaat March I commenced using Feruna and continued for three month. I have not used It tinea nor havo I folt pain." For Pain For sore throat, sharp pain in lungs, tightness across the chest, hoarseness or cough, lave the parts with Sloan's Liniment You don't need to rub, just lav it on lightly. It penetrates instantly to the seat of the trouble, relieves conges tion and stops the pain. HerVsHhe Proof. Mr. A.W. Price, Fredonia, Kans., ays: "We have used Sloan's Lini ment for a year, and find it an excel lent thing for sore throat, chest paint, colds, and hay f e ver attacks. A few drops taken on sugar ttopt cough, log aad sneezing instantly." Sloan's Liniment is easier to use than porous plasters, acts quicker and does not clog up the pores of the skin. It it an excellent an tiseptic remedy for asthma, bronchitis, and all inflammatory ' diseases of the throat and chest; will break up the deadly membrane in an attack of croup, and will kill any kind of neuralgia or rheu matic pains. All dru relate Veep (Uoan's Liniment. Priest ISO., BOM $1.00. Dr. Earl S. Sloan, BOSTON. MAHd 'rST JULE5 VEtfNE. UESTERfl CANADA bhat Prof. Shaw, the Wall-Known AsH- wultisrwt, Saya About Itl CIIAPTKU III. (Continued.) Ilatteran had almrd well and before tlthcr of lil companions ramn up he ad plunged his knlfo In the animals throat. Hurrah! Itravo!" shouted JolinBon nd tho doctor, but Huttcrus stood cool nd unexclttd, Kaing at bis prostrate foe. The boast was very fat, and weigh ed 1.500 pounds. Tho hunters were so mlxhed that they had hardly patience to cut up tho carcass and carry homo he flesh to be cooked. It needed all the doctor's persuasion to pruvent them cutlnir it raw. fin entering the hut, they were ruck with the coldness of the atmos- hcre. The fire was out. The r-xclt- 111: business of the morning una mnae ohnson neglect his nccustomed duty. The doctor got tho tinder and asked ohnson for the steel. The sailor went through his pockets nd searched the hut. The steel was gone. "Not got the steel!" the doctor re peated, shuddering. "Look again." Hut It was gone. 'This Is a serious business, doctor," said Hatteras, gravely. Each sat looking at the other, and death. It was serious. Then tho doctor sprang to his feet "An Idea has occurred to me." "What?" said Hatteras. "Let us make a lens." "How?" "With Ice." "Weil try It Bring your hatchet, Johnson. A good-sized piece was soon cut off, bout a foot In diameter, and the doc tor set to work. He chopped it Into rough shape with the hatchet, then with his knife, making as smooth surface as possible. He finished the polishing process with his fingers, rub bing away until he had obtained a lent as transparent as crystal. The aun wai shining, tho tinder was held beneath the ice lens to catch the rays. In a few seconds It took fire, to Johnson's rapturous delight. Ho danced about like an Idiot, almost beside himself with Joy, and shouted Hurrah t hurrah!" while Clawbonny hurried back Into the hut and rckln died the fire. It was soon roaring, and it waa not many minutes before th savory odor of broiled bear steak rous ed Hell from his torpor. what a feast this meal was to the poor starving men may be Imagined. The doctor, however, counseled moder ation In eating, and set the example himself.. "This Is a glad day for us," ho said, "and we have no fear of wanting food all the rest of our Journey, still, we must not forgot we have further to go yet and I think the sooner we stu'vt tho better." "We cannot be far off now," said Al tamont, who could speak almost per fectly again; "we muBt be within forty-eight hours' march of the Porpoise." "I hope we'll find somothing there to make a fire with," said the roctor, smiling. "My lens needs the sun, and there are plenty of days when It does not make Us appearance here, within less than four degrees of the polo. "Less than four degrees!" repeated Altamont, with a sigh; "yea, my ship went further than any other has ever ventured." "It Is time we started," tald Hatter- as, abruptly. On the way the doctor asked Alta- lso a powder magazine and a shelter for the dons. Tho walls of the house were over five feet thick, and the windows made of polished sheet loo resembling port holes for cannon. Every part was as olid as possible, and a parapet was erected outside for defense against any enemies. While all these preparations for wln- er were going on, Altamont was fast regaining strength. He was a type of the American, shrewd, intelligent, full of energy und resolution; enterprising, old, and ready for anything. He was a native of New York, he Informed his companions, and had been a sailor from his boyhood. The porpoise had been equipped and sent out by a company of wealthy American merchants. There were many points of resem blance between Altamont and Hatter as, but no friendship. With a greater show of frankness, he was In reality far more deep and crafty than Hat teras. His apparent openness did not Inspire such confidence as the English- moment T Dead, from certfl ana nu- ger." "Come, come, friends," said the doe tor, "don't get to words; all that can be easily settled." "Mr. Hatteras," said Altamont, "Is welcome to name whatever territories he may discover, should ho succeed In discovering any; but this continent be longs to me. I should not even con sent to Its havlngwo names like Qrln nells I .and, which is also called Prince Albert's I.and, because It was discov ered almost simultaneously by an En glishman and an American. My right of priority Is Incontestable. No ship before mlno ever touched this shore; no foot before mine ever trod this soil. 1 havo given It a name, and that name It shall keep." "And what is that name?" inquired tho doctor. "New America," replied Altamont Hatteras trembled with suppressed passion, but by a violent effort re trained himself. (To be continued.) "I would eonner relae cattle In Weatarn mao in me corn wvi. tu the United Blew. Feed 1 MM. htm mi la cheaper and cllmata txttter Tor purpoaa. Your market mill Im- rove Xtwter Mao jnnr 111 broduoeth upplina. tht rmn hm grown up to tha ttHh par all. (Hrt) DillflS north of tii lnit.raal Innal ktonn(l aryj. Your vacant land will be taken at ft rate bajrona prevent eoncep ticm. lr e have anoniih .Jimnple In the. United "' 'Htatee alone who want to take an Uiie lead.1 Welj 70,000 Americans will nteranftmakethi.tr harass la Wi-eteru Canada this yeur. IDOtt produced nimdier liirira crop nf wheat, oat and barley, to adilllloii to which the rnllU IUB HUM wlug In IM. fijuill chrwan and AUuirta ttettla ralnin. dairytna. nil fartnlnt and Brain arnwlug In tha ftroviuuea or maniioua. aaanat I ran hauiMIS(l ami ma eillD- tloa ara. a well an lands bold br mi Iwajr and land ootnnunlM, will provlila tiniuaa fur mllllmiN. Adaptable imtII, liMlthful rll mate, aplemlld arhoola oud oliurabra, and a-ood railway. fc'ur station ru rivncrlptlva literature "Last Htwi Went." how ' 1 to reach tha country and other aar tlealara, writa to 8up'k of Inirul- ratton. uttaaa. tfeuaaa, or to tua lollowlDt Canadian UoT't AtaoMi R. T. noliacs, lit 4aeaaon St.. Hu Paul. Minn., end J. U. MLaohlaa. Hoa 11. Watartawo, Buulh Iiakola. lliH addraia aaaraatyea,! riaaai mr where ton saw this adTertlaement If-Mion! I i. Jyto-Uat. "Ji ia wonderful story," says tha pabllsbar to the new editor, whose truvauccrlpt ha4 Just been accepted, "but you have failed on one Important feature. You do not describe the way tbe heroine waa dressed when the hero first met ber. Tou'd better write in a paragraph about her clothes, but try to avoid the conventional. The lneenlous author, knowing the ameneaa of costume descriptions In the beat sellers, and also knowing -.w to make an appeal to the feminine, beart, wrote: "Helolae floated toward him garVed tn a 600 dress, a $250 hat. with a 198.75 mantilla over a $375 lace coat." -Chioago Post. north. The American made only eva sive replies. Clawbonny whispered to Johnson: "We've got two men that need looking after." "You are right," said Johnson. "Hatteras doesn't talk to thla Amer ican, and I must say the maji lias not shown himself very grateful." "I don't like the expression of his face," said Johnson. "I think he suspects Hatteras' plan." "Then you think that Altamont " "His ship was certainly on the road to the north pole." "But don't Altamont say that he ad been caught among the ice, and dragged there irresistibly 7" He said so, but there waa a strange mile on hla lips." Next day, after a hearty breakfast off bear's meat, the little party contin ued the route. At last, assout 2 o'clock in the after noon, Altamont started up with a shout Tolntlng to a white mass that no eye but his distinguished from the surrounding icebergs, he exclaimed in loud, ringing voice: "The Porpoise!" The Porpoise was completely burled under the snow. Masta and rigging bad been destroyed in the shipwreck, and she was lying on a bed of rocka so entirely on her side that the bull was uppermost. "Never mina," aaia Hatteras, "we will fix it up and make ourselves com fortable there." By night Bell had managed to make tolerably level floor with planks and spare. Altamont waa helped on board without much trouble. A sigh of sat isfactlon escaped him, as if he felt himself once more at heme a sigh which to Johnson's ear boded no good. Wan the Supply Stopped. Poet (with emotion) All people Kim to acorn my poetry; but I 8 ip pose when I die, every one will go Into raptures. Editor Oh, yes at least all the dltor will, I should think." Ally flloper. . ills lltk Srbama. "That fellow Bmoothlelgh U one oi the slickest chaps I ever saw. Why, be ean make the public believe any thing. What do you suppose be Is do tag bowT" -Give It op." Hunting a correspondence school that teachee you bow to pity baseball tn four easy lessons." Cleveland Plala Cosier. . Tea eaa get anything cneaa at that see. ef ibe year whea yea ntat M. man's gloomy reserve The doctor was In constant dread of a collision between the rival captains, and yet one must command Inevitably and which should It be ? Hatteras had the men, but Altamont had the ship, It was hard to say whose was the bet ter right. It required all the doctor's tact to keep things smooth. At last, in spite of all his endeavors, an outbreak came It was at a grand banquet, a sort of "houBe-warmIng," held when tho new habitation was completed. This bnnquct was Dr. Clawbonny's Idea. He was head cook, and made a wonderful pudding. Bell had shot a white hare and several ptarmlrans, which made an agreeable variety from the pemmlcan and salt meat Clawbonny was cook and master of ceremonies, and brought In a pudding, himself adorned with the big apron and a knife at his belt .iier uinner airrereni toasts were drunk In brandy. Ono was given to the United States, to which Hatteras made no response. This over, the doctor Introduced an Interesting subject of conversion by saying: "My friends, we have something yet to do. I suppose we should bestow a imina on uus comment, wnich we have found, and also on the several bays, peaks and promontories that we meet with. This has been invariably done Dy navigators." "Quite right." said Johnson; "when once a place la named, It takes away the reeling or being castaways on an unknown shore." Hatteras had taken no part In the conversation as yet, but seeing all eyes fixed on him, he rose at last, and said; "If no one objects, I think the most suitable name we can give our house is that of its skillful architect, the best man among us. Let us call it 'Doc tor's house.' " "Just the thing!" said Bell. "First rate!" exclaimed Johnson, "'Doctor's house!'" "We cannot do better," chimed in Altamont 'Hurrah for Dr. Clawbonny." Three hearty cneers were given, in which Duke, the dog. Joined lustily, barking his loudest It is agreed, then," said Hatteras. that this house Is to be called 'Doc tor's house.' " The doctor modestly protested against the honor, but he was obliged to yield. The new habitation was for mally named "Doctor's house." "Now, then," said the doctor, "let us go on to name the most Important of our discoveries." There is that Immense sea which surrounds us, unfurrowed as yet by a single ship." Altamont looked up quickly, "A Blngle ship!" he repeated. "I think you have forgotten the Por poise. She certainly did not get here overland.' "Well, it wouldn't be hard to think so," replied iiaiieras, to iook at ner now." True enough, Hatteras," said Alta mont, piqued, "but, after all, Is not that better than being blown to atoms, like the Forward?' Hatteras was about to reply when Clawbonny Interposed. It is not a question of ships, ABOUT THE "KANSAS BANANA." rriVi I nrnnalfttent. 'So you don't think I practice what ( preach, eh?" "No, sir." "In what respect have I failed to do 10?" "You preach that we should love our neighbors. "And do I not love my neighbors?" "If you 'do why are you permitting your wife to take vocal lessons?" Houston Post. The Wldorr'n View of It. Brlggins (a wily one) No, I shall never marry. I loved a girl once and she made a fool of me. The Widow (disappointed of her prey) What a lasting Impression ehe seems to have made. Illustrated Bits. CHAPTER IV. The Porpoise had been thoroughly equipped and provisioned for a long voyage. They found 4.150 pounds of flour, fat, and raisins; 2,000 pounds of salt beef and pork, 1,600 pounds of pemmlcan, 700 pounds of sugar, and the same of chocolate; a cheat and half of tea, weighing ninety-six pounds 600 pounds of rice, several barrels of preserved fruits and vegetables. quantity of lime Juice, with all sorts of medicine, and 300 gallons of rum and brandy. There was also a large supply of gunpowder, ball and shot und coal and wood In abundance. Altogether, enough to last those flv men more than two years. All fear of dHth from starvation or cold was ut an ml. "Well, Hatteras, we're sure of enoui; to live on now," said the doctor, "and there Is nothing to hinder us rcachin the pole." "The pole!" echoed Hatteras. ;, why not? Can't we push ou way overland In the Hummer?" "We mlKbt overland, but how could we cross witter?" "C'un't we bullil a boat out of the ship's plunks?" "Out of an American ship!" exclaim ed the eupluln, contemptuously. Clitwbiuiny was prudent enough to change the ronvcrautlon. In five tlas the men hud built an Ice bouse oil shore not fur from the boat, fawpsw Abundant There Many t'onaliler It a Delicacy. George Remsburg, the Atchison county historian, says the Kansas City Journal, has been hunting up some thing about the pawpaw. , lie says: In the old chronicles of the early explorers and travelers through thla section of the country I find much mention of tho pawpaw, which seems to have been as abundant In this re gion a century or more ago as at the present time. In these early accounts the estimates of the edlbleness of the pawpaw seem to be about equally dl Tided. One pronounced It delicious, while another would lead you to be lleve that It was really deleterious, However, I believe the following from Cliarle Augustus Murray, In an ac count of his western travels In 1834, 1S33 and 1836, Is the strongest en comium ever bestowed upon the Kan sas and Missouri banana. "While passing this locality on a steamer he landed and secured some ripe pawpaws, the first he had seen, and which he pronounced the most de licious fruit in the world. 'It resem bles the banana of the West Indies,' he continues, 'but Is more rich and luscious. When opened the Interior Is exactly like a custard and the flavor something between a fig and a pine apple. Although I prefer this fruit to the banana or pineapple, I find It Is not generally so highly esteemed, be ing considered too rich and cloying; moreover, I was told it was extremely unwholesome. This I found to be an absurd prejudice (as I have often eaten from six to twelve at a time without unpleasant consequences). "The belief in Its hurtful qualities probably owes its origin to the fact that hogs, which roam the woods and eat the produce of every other fructif erous plant, would not touch the paw paw. Another cause of the low esti mation In which it Is held is its ex treme abundance; they grow In thou sands in the woods, as thick as nuts In an English hazelwood, and children soon get sick and tired of eating them.' (Travels In North America, vol. 11, pages 83-84.) ' John Bradbury, In his travels in this region In 1809-10-11, ob served plenty of pawpaws, which he pronounced 'of the consistency of cus tard and very agreeable to some pal ates.' " Conscientious. Professor I'm afraid you're not very conscientious about copying other stu dents' work. Everbluph (with pardonable pride) Why, professor, I copy as consclen Mously as I can. Yale Record. Arctic Testimony. Not So Rll, Nervoir lAdy Don't your experi ments frighten you terribly, professor? I hear that your assistant met with a horrible death by falling 4,000 feet from an aeroplane. iioki Aviator oil, that report was greatly exnKgeiared. Nervous I.arty Exaggerated! How? Bold Aviator It wasn't much mor thon 2,500 feet that he fell. Illuatxat ed nit. 1'rltlcal. Mamma And how did you like tht country, Willie? Willie It's like a park, only thej allow houses on It and they don't kee; It up noar as well. Puck. Prrtahable. "What alls Mrs. Mlggs?" "She says she spent the whole aftet noon making that cake and Jhe famllj gobbled It up in fifteeen minutes." Brooklyn Citizen. oldlr Trie to Tralalaar. During the period of the "second eon- tire" in France the "Cent Oardes" were one of its sights at the TulUories. It was hard to distinguish them from statutes. Their commander, Col. Ver ly, once declared to Empress Eugenie that "nothing" could make one of his men move when on duty. The empress laid a wager that she would make one of the giants stir; so, with her charac teristic impetuosity she went up to one of the guards and boxed his ears. Not a muscle moved. The empress then acknowledged that Col. Verly had won the bet, and sent a solatium to the soldier, who, however, proudly refused It, saying that he had been sufficiently compensated by the honor of having had his sovereign lady's hand laid on his cheek. He Knew Heat. "Do you think I can stand an oper atlon, doctor?" "You know your financial condition better than I do." Houston Pont. A Itari flood Thin. "Am using Allen's Foot-Ease, and can truly say I would not have been without It so long, had I known the relief It would give my aching feet I think It a rare good thing for anyone having sore or tired fet Mrs. Matilda Holtwert. Providence, It I." Sold by all Druggtats, 25c. Ask to-day. RATTLESNAKE OINTMENT. Judge Who Is that swarthy man over there? Is he a witness for the complainant or the defendant? Bailiff Either one, your honor. He's an Eslknio. Of C'onrae. look at those new dress "Let's goods." "I don't like to bother the clerks when I have no excuse for not buying." "Well, can't we ask for some shade that doesn't exist?" Washington 'Jerald. An Antnmn Immanc, "Terrible cold you have!" "Yes!" answered the cheery citizen; "isn't it lucky? I can't smell the moth balls." Washington Star. IV o Accd. Employer Well, JImmIe, did your grandmother die yesterday? Office Boy No, sir! The game was called off. Harvard Lampoon. Ilia Awful Crime. "My husband and I have got to part. I won't stand for It any long er." "Won't stand for what?" "His habit of smoking cigars two shades darker than my new brown dreos. He hasn't the least idea of .har mony In color." St. Louis Star. Bid It's In the Air. "Getting late, old man. Better go home and face your wife. You can prove where you've been, can't you." "I thJnk so. I'm arranging my data." Washington Star. There Waa a Reason. "Why did you tip that boy so hand somely for handing you your coat?" "Did you see the coat he gave me?" London Tatler. A Snre Stan. City Visitor How do you know Ihls tree is a dogwood? Suburbanite I can tell by Its bark. Baltimore American. Not So Warm. "Paradoxical state of affairs, isn't It?" "What Is?" "Hot feeling about the north pole is cooling off." Baltimore American. Kngasrenirnt Broken. Merchant I have had hard luck- lost all my money. Suitor Surely you would not wish to lose your daughter also. Fllegende Blatter. Sad Case. Shoe Joke. William King Where'd you get those pumps? Charlie Prince Off a shoe Cornell Widow. tree. friends," be said, "but of a fresh sea,' 'It is no new sea," returned Alta mont; "it is In every polar chart, and has a name already. It Is called the Arctlo ocean, and I think it would be very inconvenient to alter its designa tion. Should we find out by and by, that instead of being an ocean it is only a strait or gulf. It will be time enough to alter it then." "So be it" said Hatteras. "Very well, that is an understood thing, then," said the doctor, regTettlng that he had started the discussion, "Let us proceed with the continent where we find ourselves at present resumed Hatteras. "I am not aware that any name whatever has been af fixed to it, even in the most recent charts." He looked at Altamont as he spoke, who met his gace steadily, and said "Possibly yon may be mistaken again, Hatteras." "Mistaken! What! This unknown continent this virgin boi! " "Has already a name," replied Alta mont, coolly. Hatteras was silent, but his lip quiv ered. "And whnt name ha a It, then?" asked the doctor, astonitihcd. "My dear Clawbonny," replied the American, "It is tho custom, not to say the rlBht, of every navigator to christen the soil on which he Is the The Diahop Stayed. The bishop of a Southern diocese was once making a missionary journey through Arkansas and the Indian Ter ritory, and on his arrival at Natchez he said to the landlord of a hotel, "I have been traveling for a week, day and night, In a mall wagon, and I want a comfortable room." "Sorry," said the landlord, "but I don't believe there's a vacant room in Natchez; there's a horse race, a Meth odist conference and a political con vention in the city, and every house is full up. The only thing I can give you Is a shake-down." Then, observ ing the bishop's tired face, he added, "The beet room in my house is rented to a noted gambler who usually re mains out all night and seldom gets in before breakfast. If you will take the risk, you shall have his room; but If he should come in there'll be a row, I'll pronilso you that." The bishop decided to take the risk. About 4 o'clock in the morning the my gambler returned and promptly shook A Cnrdlnl Invitation. "Hello, old man, it's an age since I last met you. What are you doing now?" "Bossing a contractor's Job on a sewer. Well, glad to have seen you drop In some time." They Are Still ItlRht. Hardup There was a time when people used to say that I had more money than brains; but they can't say that now. Wife Why not? Hardup Because I've come down to my last shilling. Wife Well, you've still got a shil ling. Illustrated Bits. the bishop by the arm 'Get out of here, or I'll put you out!" he shouted. , The bishop, the gentlest of men, raised himself on one elbow, so that it brought the muscles of his arm into full relief, "My friend," he began quietly, "be fore you put me out, will you have the kindness to feel of my arm? The gambler put his hand on the bishop's arm. "Stranger," he then said respectful ly, "you can stay." What Happened to Yonnsc nillapa. Mary Coles Carrlngton of Richmond sends us the following "One of the curious characteristic! of the old-time darkles Is their ability to make themselves always intelligible, no matter how twisted the long words which are their delight. "Aunt Dllsey, what has become oi young Tom Blllups? I asked my 'mammy' recently. '"De lan' sakes, Miss Baby,' she r plied, with uplifted hands and eyes like saucers, 'he dun run off to da Lewis Imposition, but we ain't heard from him. nary line, 'cept'n 'tis ons o' dese sump'n n'er picture cards; an1 I les' believe. Miss Baby, dat he's dun ii-Mt to set root, u appears to me, b,n catnpped.' "Atlanta Constitution iiit-ifuire, tnnt It is my iinvin'Ku unu Hut, sir," Interrupted Johnson, net tied. "It would be hard to prove that the Porpoise did not come here, even If Bbo got here by land." continued Alta mont, without noticing Jolinsnn s pro test. "The fact in indisputable," he added, looking ut Hattcrus. I dlxpute tho claim," said the Kng lUhiuun. retitrulnlng himself, by a pow erful effort. To Dame a country you must llmt discover it. I suppose, and that you certainly did not do. Where would you have been, sir, at this mo ment, pray? Lying twenty feet deep under the snow. Ard wl'hout ma, sir." retorted Al tamont. hotly, "without mo and my ship, whero would you all be at this They Were Shady. Bung So you have succeeded la tracing back my ancestors? What is your fee? Genealogist Twenty guineas for keeping quiet about them. Cassell's Saturday Journal. Very Vnaaual. "I wish I had ap idea for a poem." "What do you want to put an Idea Into a poem for?" Kansas City Jour nal. Hounded Like It. "She is right in the hey-day of her life." ' "Do you mean that she Is a grass widow?" Houston Post. - "Yes, Freddy, I'm a sick man!" "Wot's der matter?" "Why, I'm gettln' that restless an' wakeful, dat I can't sleep, only . at night!" A ricaacd Audience. 'What makes you siend so much money on that lawsuit?" "It's a matter of taste. Some people like to attend lectures. I prefer to pay more and hear a lawyer discourse on affairs in which I am personally in terested." Washington Star. Tito llata. A Stinger. Blobbs Why do you liken Hard- uppe to the busy bee? He's not par ticularly Industrious, Is he? Slobbs Oh, no, it Isn't that, but nearly every one he touches gets stung. Philadelphia Record. llreesy Stories, "Did you ever read The Flatlron building?'" "No." "You ought to; there are a number of good atorlea in it." Mo, Indeed. "I sure sympathize with that raan!" "Why so?" "Ills expenses are about double what his Income Is." "Oh, well, you cannot afford to syn pathlze with every man who owns an suto." Houston Post. Where She Is. "Where is the girl of long ago?" sings Joaquin Miller. We saw her the other day, Jo. But she Isn't a girl any more. She had gray hair, and a wart on her nose. had no teeth, and wore specs. Tit Bits. By negreea. "Hubby, do yon like my new hat?" "I gue3 I can learn to like it," an swered hubby, after viewing the latest fall effect Louisville Courier-Journal. Itldlcnlons. Wife Now, see here, Jim; if yer don't provide for me better I shall quit eo I warns yer. Husband Provide better? Well, I like that Why, ain't I got yer three good Jobs 0' work tuts last luoath? Tie BketcA. Made by Cblneae Phyalolaa ai aa Care for Rhenmatlam. Rattlesnake ointment is regarded by the Chinese physicians as such a sure cure for rheumatism and similar com plaints that a big demand for the rep tiles exists in Chinatown, says the San Francisco Chronicle. Policeman Percy Smith, connected with the cen tral station, learned of the demaad, and while on his vacation 'in Mendo cino county laid in a supply of rattle snakes large enough to alleviate the sufferings of every almond-eyed resi dent of San Francisco. Policeman Smith has Just returned from his vacation, which he spent in the wilds of Mendocino county. With him were Policeman Berg, Andrew Garln and his son, Philip Smith. On their return they brought back a dozen rattlesnakes that were eagerly pur chased by the Chinese doctors at $5 each. In order to prepare the ointment the ise men of Chinatown pour half a gallon of alcohol Into a two-gallon Jar in which a rattlesnake is imprisoned. The reptile, it is said, usually dies for want of air after a few hours' confine ment. However, it is left in the bot tom of the Jar, completely immersed In alcohol, for at least six months. At the end of that period the alcohol Is carefully romoved from the Jar and after slight dilution with another sub stance Is placed on the market as a sure cure for rheumatism. At Chinese drug stores Its price is dear. I However little difficulty Is encoun tered In placing the rattler In the yar a great amount of dexterity Is nec essary to escape its fangs, for the fatigue of the Journey has made it extremely vicious and it strikes at any object. In order to prevent It from striking a noose is fastened over its head by the Chinese pharmacist, who after being assured that the fangs are under his control takes the snake in his hands and places it in the re ceptacle. A top is then placed on the Jar and the strlag severed. So great is the demand for rattlesnakes in Chinatown and so profitable is the market that other policemen who contemplate a vacation are said to be studying the map in order to discover likely habi tations of the rattler. A man often says: "I will do better to-morrow." But when to-morrow comes, he does Just about the same. "We Strive to Pleaae." Customer I heard you tell your last customer that this weather would last another week. Do you think it will really? Barber No, I don't, but he's a very good customer here. Fllegende Blat ter. lMrge Understanding. Church They say that man Is a self- made man. Gotham Well, I should say he spenl too much time on his feet! Yonkerd Statesman. con fit Keeping cheer- The I'laln Facta. You appear to have every Hencft in vour husband." "Well, he is very truthful. For im ful l an eaSV matter. With nnin YtA flnnt -niV-at-1 VnafAalnn ! I o uviivc, u-7 Kt7u.b nviu jcouciuai uixal Iff l m e i -a ineDoweisopcn. Minions he was detained downtown." "By business, hey?" "No,, by baseball." Louisville Cou rler-Journal. A Trne Philosopher. "I wish I were eligible to Join one of these patriotic sons of something." "Too bad you're not." "Still, if my ancestors hadn't al ways taken to the woods in time of warfare, I might not be here." Louis ville Courier-Journal. carry candy Cascarett. At the first sign of bowel clog gins, tncT te one tablet. They end the trouble in an hour. Thus many dull days are avoided. Jnat So. "Your majesty, there's a creditor without." "Let him go without." Comic Cuts. Vest-pocket bes. 10 cents at dref-et' People sew aae a mlllioa boxes monthly. I Best for Children Central African Klephanta. "Elephants in the swamp country of Central Africa," writes a traveler, "are different in their habits from those which inhabit the forests. In the marshes they stand throughout the day Immersed in water up to their bel lies and with their backs almost hid den by the high growth of reeds. Here they can always be traced by the white egrets which invariably accompany them and which feed upon the ticks and other Insects with which their hides are Infested. A herd of ele phants moving through dense grass can be kept in sight, even though they themselves are invisible by the flutter ing up and down of these white birds. V aW CURE Gives instant relief when little throats are irritated and sore. Contains no opiates and is at pleasant to take at it is effective. AU Dracibta. 28 FREE MsrvT. Geldman'a ray Ilalr Kaalorer rtort- urialDal color la niill. hi-allTitul Duunu Jta- In from 1 1 14 dure. A Blatter of Punetaatloa. Spartacua I notice that a MeKee port (Fa.) man who had thought be was heir to an estate of 1125,000 found that the comma In the dispatch had been misplaced and that Instead he had fallen heir to only $1,250. Bmartlcus In other words, the mis placement of a comma prevents a period of prosperity, oh? Balttmoxf Anaricaa. Mi Mut Wara Itrely d iffMreut from ear thing else. 1'aeffvoftla permanent. loe aot e"" vault ofr Dnr lea uneat araL kae ao aMIaiaat, eo li'i aeitlirr auck aot aroaer !' at iure and oiear aa water. lAjn't eaueriment one what tboaaandfl of echen have found ule and aatlafaotorv. Sample aadoomb abaolnlMlv Ihml Ma im in ...!. ..ritflnal ei roar nair. MAKl I. UiUMMA,Vi Side., m fuaj. Mm: Dr. MclNTOSH celebrated Natural Uterine Supporter flv I mm t1i at rllfff. Bold hj all tvi Ssi iiiiruniu airv ana Jnadiug ru(ClLs) la I m tod fetal aad Canada. Oatai priosj luiaotl itarticuian uailat on akouiuviiuo. THE HASTINGS A MclNTOSH TRUSS CO. lit Walaai St., rulL4BLrMIA,r., awaafaaturera of tnuewe ana " f'e feattn or tha Uaaulne paiajit " mlnloaa" Buitrter.