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A Jnkf of Mark Twain.
lrohw.bly few people aro aware that the theatrical godfather of that fa oimia actor, William Gillette, wan Mark 5"waln, who was a fellow townsman ml a friend of his father. Mark fc"wain. In referring to the matter, saitt that when he N his influence to get Young Gillette on the stage he thought tie was playing a great Joke on the tnanagemuil, for he did not think 011 ette had the slightest, aptitude for act ing. But It turned out to be no Joke . fter all. "I don't know." said Mark frwaln. "which I like hotter-having Gillette make a tremendous success or teeing one of "my jokes ro wrong." , A Pern Ahead. They were about to open the Tana na cnnnl In duo form. "What are we waiting fur?" asked he man who was to deliver the ora tion. "We are waiting," answered the mas ter of ceremonies in a husky whisper, "to see If we cun t scare up a few 'American built ships to go through 'Urst!" Chi'.-) go Tribune. TRIAL, i? of the NKEDliMS .SAY WAui.' 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Munyon a Cold Remedy cures a cold In lone day. Price 25c. Munyon's Rheuma tism Remedy relieves In a few hours and cures in a lew days. Price z&c. II If ItajfiiisAfiiSa Stops Lameness Much of the chronic lameness in horses is due to neglect. See that your horse is not al lowed to go lame. Keep Sloan's Liniment on hand and apply at the first siim of stiffness. It's wonderfully penetrating goes right to the spot relieves the soreness limbers up the joints and makes the muscles clastic and pliant. Here's the Proof. Mr. G. T. Roberti of Retaca, Gi., H.F.O. No. t. Box 43, writes i " I have noed your Linlmtnt on a horse for swee tie? and effected a thorough cure. I al so removed a spavin on a mule. This pavln was as large a a guinea gf. In , mi estimation th but nnisdy for lame aess and soreness is Sloan's Liniment Mr. H. M.Gibbs.of Lawrenct, Kant., R.r.D. No. j. writes: "Your Lini ment is the best that I have ever nsed. I had a mare with an sbacest on her neck and one 50c. bottle of Sloan's Llniniertt entirely cored her. I keep It around all the time for galls snd small swellings ad for everything about the stock." Sloan's Liniment will kill a spavin, curb or splint, re duce wind pulfs and swollen joints, and is a sure and speedy remedy lor fistula, Sweeney, founder and thrush. Prlca 0o. and $1.00 loan's am hersra. Itl, shrp and panltry (Ml ft. AddrtM Dr. Earl S. Sloau, Boston, Mass., TJ. I. A. Are the millions wrong those millions who use candy Cascarats? They seekwhat you seek bowel action; but they choose m gentle way. Instead of harsh cathartics, which make the bowels hard, -they use a natural yet effective v - eip. . kj CUT THIS OtT, mall 11 with yourad lrwc U Sterling Hemedy Company, :M:4iii, 111., arid receive a handsome bouveiilr (old lion Hon Box FKKifi. RUPTURE w W ur girts utrllOA r dutwnilon twin baiuw. u pr vin rnrttl until iatiul la cotulUif uik1. Wrim or ott wa UB. FRANK X. WHAT eess (!. r L 1 lsSIssiClty,U. VETEUIHARY COURSE AT H0MB ft 1 O f f 7r snd aiiotrrfa h iwli taklus """vv inirj I..UI, at hoiiia ilurlus tllU. 1. . -ll.L ..... T . ' ....... rl,...n. r.i.R iip ; iriiiiuui. llPJ Yf Mtiirtttios taituiUwl . iArll'julara fr. ter.r rprwfm4vltM SkmI, St. IS, r 4 1 T7 I lOLXi . i i 1 1 1 i ,r JYfiU Oftvs nil En n lisp's.! I 1 gl i ii saawassassa The Quest of etty Tiy MA. CD A. Copyright, 1904, by W. 0. Chspmss nnnnnnunnunnninnuntinunnnunu n n H Df n n n 0 M n n n u n u n u u n u MC QLIIST mm mi ifef the story. The plot of this romance hinges on fervid human emo tionslove, Jealousy, avarice, hatred. livery character is intense and graphically delineated. There are two beautiful women Cerissc and Nartfsse one like a pure, beautiful lily, all gentleness and affection, the other a siren whose restless spirit thrives only in excitement and change. To their lives are linked the welfare or wreck of others, and where the story Is not absorbingly dramatic it becomes startlingly tragic. Since the famous days of the wonderful "mystery stories" of Poe, no romance has approximated his cele brated creations of fiction more closely than this serial. The "Man-Apcrilla," the kidnaping of Betty Lancey, the marvelous '"diamond" castle in Africa, the mysterious electric launch, the strange characters and their strange ndventures, all combine to make "The Quest of Betty Lancey" a masterpiece of modern fiction. n m u n u m u 000000R00H000H0 000000000000 ' CHAPTER I. Mrs. Annie Desterlo padded uncom fortably up the front stairs to the sec ond story front room, grumbling loud ly at every step. For Mrs. Destorlo, who was nearly fifty years old, and who for more than half that time hud supported herself and her husband, Pierre, by keeping a bourdiiiR house, lind recently begun to grow moro than partridge plump. With the rapid obliteration of her girlish outlines, which process might hnvo been checked had Mrs. Desterlo been less a mistress of culinary art and Htlll less fond of her own cook ing, hud developed an increase in the transportation problem around tho Dcsterle domicile. In theso days, from the basement kitchen to the third story front was as appalling a climb to Mrs. Desterlo as tho Journey up Washington monument had been when shu and Pierre had taken their tion evmoon trio for sightseeing thirty years aeo. "Dear me!" puffed Mrs. uesterio ar. the second floor landing. "J believe I'll ask that woman to move when hr week's up. Bho nover gets down to breakfust and the two daya she's been here she's noted mighty queer. Don't know why I'm so foolish to ton an tho way up here like this, but I'vo Tung her bell twice and sho don't an swer, though it's most noon. If Pierre was ever around now. Lately ho seems to be of less uso than ever. Strangers In the house always did make, me feel nervous. I'm most afraid to climb any further; Beems llko I sense something wrong. And as long a I've been keeping boarders nover before did I let anyone como in that didn't know anything at all about. But the poor little thing looked so tired and pretty, and her big bunch of violets smclled so sweet; why, she was Just llko a spirit coming out of tho rain. It was so late, too, and, well, as I was none too caroful In finding out who she was, but she's had time enough to look around by now. and I'll Just tell Miss Cerlsse Wayne, as she calls herself, that she'll '..ave to move to-morrow. This Is such a love ly spring day that looking for an other room may bring a little color Into her pale cheeks. No, I don't want her around. Young Simpson was mak ing eyes at her Inst night, which is too bad, for he's engaged to Miss Gentry. And Ada Gentry's a nice girl. She'll be getting mad and leaving next, and then he'll follow, and they're two of my best boarders; been here now for seven Chrlstmases." Mrs. Destcrlo's soliloquy and her up ward pilgrimage ended with the same breath. At the end of the hall before her the door to the third story front parlor looked ominously funereal in its dull respectability of time-stulned wal nut Annie Desterlo was born to emer gencles, and had been a mainstay and a prop, all of her life, but for tho first time within her memory her spirit fal tered. Um," she sniffed, as she approached the door. "It does smell like cigar ettes up here. Ada told me yesjerduy morning she thought she smelted smoke coming from Miss Wayne's room. Oh, MIhh Wayne, Miss Wayne, Miss Wayne!" called the landlady in a succession of erescendos. No answer came. 8o tho woman In the hall knocked loudly on the door. Bilenco still. She tried the door. It wus locked, though beneath the linn grasp of this experienced landlady coupled with a vigorous kick, the lock gave way and the door swung open Mrs. Desterle's quick eye gave one glance around her, her Jaw dropped snd her eyes nearly catapulted out o her head. She stumbled Into the room and over to the bed. She put out her hand, startled, and impulsively felt of the coverlets and what luy upon them. Her fingers had barely touched the sheet when a noise from tho fur ther corner made her turn. At sight of what was there Mrs. Desterle toBsed Hen apron over her head, and scream ing, shrieking, howling, run into the hall, tumbling down flight after flight Of stairs, to fall in a helpless, frothing heap at the feet of her husband, gasp ing incoherently; "Upstairs, upstairs; at once! My God! My God!" Doherty, the , block policeman, who did extra watch duty on the Doaterl premises for the dully laucheon that came from Annie's kitchen, had that IcsUrit arrived for his diurnal nibble Lancey F. WEST i . Copytlfht la Crest Britain u3 n n n OP CI-TTV LANCEY Is a remarkable serial. The word "remark able" scarcely describes the merits, the intensity of plot, and situations of this fctrange and wierd but absolutely en trancing work of fiction. Its concep tion is phenomenal, its ranxe takes in two continents. It is up to date in style, development and a variety of rare scientific developments that bring out the best detective instinct and em ploy wireless telegraphy and other modern appliances to the purposes of n n n n n n H 0 0 U n 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 n At sight of the calm Mrs. Desterle thus prostrated, Doherty made for the telephone. "'Tin a riot call I should be sendln In with Annie knocked out like this," mused Doherty. "For 'tis nover she loses her head." Hut he simply called the doctor and helped tho little Frenchman carry his stricken wife to her bedroom. Annie Desterle lay still till they reached the second floor. At the land ing sho commenced her writhing again. Upstairs, upstairs!" her blood-pur pled lips commanded, and she vainly tried to motion towards the third story front. "I'd better be soeln' what's wrong in the top of the house," suggested Doherty, as they lay Annie on the bed. "Who could be up there now?" . The policeman stepped blithely past Miss Gentry's room, with but a casual glance Into its domestic depths, straight to the wldo opened portal of the third story front and across the threshold. I lie perfume of tho room was the first greeting. An odd penetrating odor mat savored of things forgot, and things undone, a fragrance belonging to Die mystic places of shadows, und not to ono of the clean, well-soaped, mid better dusted apartments of An nie Desterle's boarding house. On tho cheap oak table that had been drawn close to the bed was a great bowl of dying violets. Dy the flowers still burn ed a drop light and besldo this an opened fallen book as If the occupant narj baited Bleep with story. A cold Igaretto caso half emptied was under the table, and tho stubs of the re malndor of Its contents Bprlnkled the lioor. On the bed, clad in a soft gown, lay young and beautiful woman. Her lips were softly parted, tho dark lashes touched the curve of her cheek to gently that in spite of her pallor Do nerty, who had looked on the dead many times in his fifteen years of do lice duty, pinched the thin white arm again and again and patiently held a mirror to the cold white lips before he could believe that it was the girl's body oniy, ana not ner body and soul that wero outstretched before him, and that she was quite dead. He looked around the room and saw no empty vials, nor boxes, nor even tattling white paper that might have neia tnose silence-bringing powders women suicides afreet. On the bureau was a Juggle of worn ans clutter iiuirpins, a half dozen long Jeweled hatpins, and one thick gold Dracelet set with a very laree ruby. The combs and the brushes were elaborate specimens of the gold smith's craft, and from an overturned and broken bottle of fragile glass, heavy scent was slowly trickling, Kouge, cold cream, and savory rice powders were Jumbled In sore disorder with the collars and cleaned and solle handkerchiefs. Kven a silk stocking, small of foot and delicately green of tint, had found a resting place upon the neat linen cover of the bureau, Tho woman's clothing, all of the rich est muke, was tossed corelesnly on big rlmlr. A largo traveling case of green morocco leather, the same soft dull shade as the irown and long had first como to tho house, wus the only luggage In the room. It bore a silver monogram, "C. W.," and was empty save for soft lingerie and two letters addressed In a masculine hand writing on heavy white paper and post marked New York. The superscription on each was the same, Miss Orisno Wayne, Co Doubleday Franz & Co., Hankers, San Francisco, California. Doherty. thrusting his fingers with in the first envelope, wus withdrawing Us enclosure when a Jlbberlng over his shoulder turned him faint and Blck. The policeman swerved his head. And there, grinning into his face, with Its hot breath smiting his cheek, Put rick Doherty saw the most hideous apparition mortal men might conjure out of the depths of delirium, a most fearful and terrible object. Neither gorilla, nor ape, nor man, nor demon, was tills thing. It whs all four, with tho repulsion of thp snake. Tull, gross and hairy, its pelt the exact rusact shade of the curling hair that veiled the dead woman on the bed, Its eyes, black m the cornea, and white In the pupil and iris, with half hands, and feet half hoofs, the skull of an pi, the leer of a arunken man, it rlnned snd smirked at Doherty. Doherty pulle his pistol. He aimed tho thing. Then he shirt his eyes nd st.isgcred to the hall, blind with the flash and crazed with .fright. At the door lie looked back. The Thing, rlnnlng even behind the veil of mnko, wns standing motionless where Doherty had been arid beside It were he two lerters addressed to Miss erlfiKe Wync. The report of the pistol bad called Pierre Desterle from Is wife's side. "Patreeck, ratreeck," he cried. I'm coming. It is Pierre. What Is It?" rierre was mounting tho top stair ,'hen Doherty leaned over tho banls- ers and pushed him back. 'Not here," gasped the policeman. Send to tho station. Tell them quick the dog-catcher a riot call hurry hurry!" Tho Frenchman saw the Irishman's rosy face now white as chalk and his unken eyes. Tho Thing within Cerlsse Wayne's room began jlbberlng gain. Tho policeman threw the frightened Dcsterle down stairs and alted in awful fear till help should ome. CHAPTER If. As tho Fiftieth street police station was only a block from the Desterle's tho squad drawn out by Pierre's hys terical summons had littlo time and less opportunity for speculation as they traversed this distance. Tho tacit sentiment prevailing was that either Desterle was drunk or that Doherty was "sprung a bit in the head." "What's the matter. Pat?" asked Monahati, grabbing the palsied Doher- ey by the shoulder, while a dozen more officers piled Into the little hall and overflowed Into the front room. "Riot call for a suicide!" sneered inn, who had always hated Doherty, nd who, the llrst to cross the thresh old had been tho first among them to Iscovcr tho body. "Say, but she's a looker, anyhow, and What's that? What's thut?' shrieked Finn. The Thing, which had been cowering behind a thuir, had arisen and stepped ut before tho policemen. Doherty's fright was fleeing, so ho led tho squad, and they advanced. The duel between the one and the dozen now began. They clubbed at it, they shot at it, they grasped at It, but blows, shots, nd clutches all missed fire and effect. Strive as they would It eluded them. They herded It into their midst and round und round tho room the strange struggle went on. Tho tuble was overturned und the bowl of violets truck against the shade of the falllns drop light with on eerie crash. Sud denly the pursued turned pursuer. Plunging straight for Doherty II wound its hairy arms around his neck and dug its long claws through the padding of his coat shoulder Into his flesh. Monahan pulled a blanket from tho bed, Flnnerty a sheet. They tied the sheet round tho long hind legs of the Thing, they threw the blanket over its hend, and they held it firmly there, till in the fright and fight to free itself the monBter loosened Its grip on the faint lng Doherty. Tho squad of officers, exhausted in body and staggering in mind, could roll no more coverings over the scratching, writhing shape battling to rid itself of tho swathlngs that ren dered It helpless. The odds were that this horrible caricature of man and apo would overpower them. 'If only Flnley will send the dog- catcher," groaned Monahan, "then we'd have some place to put the beast." The end man of them all went out of tho room and dragged the prim little mattress ore Miss Gentry's bed, Just as ho came up to the confused heap in the center of the death cham ber, the Thing with the surge of a bursting dam, rose up and scattered Its captors like straws. Doherty, re vived now, but mad with pain, shot out his great ox-arm and hit the mon ster squarely between the eyes. Reel ing, swaying, stunned for tho time, It fell over on the bed directly across the frail white dead. (To be continued.) WILD GEESE. . They Sever Feed Without Throwing Out Scouts or Sentries. Some of the common sayings con cerning birds are stupidly wrong, "You stupid goose!" Is an expression constantly heard, yet the goose, wheth er wild or tame, Is most sagacious. Wild geese, for instance, never feed without throwing out scouts or Bea trles.' J. G. Millals describes how he aaw a flock of geese feeding with sen tries out, aud how after a time one of the sentries went up to a bird that was feeding and gave It a gentle peck on the back. The latter thereupon left Us grazing and went off to take up guard, while the sentry took its turn to feed. "Gentle as a dove" la such a com mo proverb that the dove bas become the emblem of peace. Quite a mis take, for all the dove and pigeon tribe are great flgbters, and In the breeding season the cock birds Indulge In bat tles royal. The foolish prejudice against all birds of prey Include that pretty little hawk, the kestrel. Now, If the kestrel were known as the mouse falcon It Is possible that keepers would not In variably shoot it on sight. The kestrel lives mainly on mice and wlrewonus. It Is quite Innocent of killing par tridges. Iti a game preserving district In southern Scotland kestrels were prac tically exterminated a few years ago. What was the result? Over a tract of country of 1,200 square miles field mice increased In such myriads that the grazing was absolutely ruined. One sheep farmer lost $S,000 in one year. A Largr Hereptarlr. "I watched your sister fixing hei hair the other day," said Mrs. Nagget, "and I must say she's not the most re fined person in the world." "No?" replied her husband, with a belligerent air. "You don't approve of her. eh?" "Well,", she retorted with a disdain ful sniff, "you never see hie with my mouth full of hairpins." "Of course not," he snapped; "what do you want with so many halrpinsT" Catholic Standard. Mtanudrratood. The attendant You mustn't handle the musical instruments, sir. Tho Visitor Oh, don't you be afraid 1 can't play 'em! Cleveland Plain Dealer. Coney Island Is sometimes visited by DUO.Ouo people a day. WHERE WASHINGTON'S HISTORIC Tkt CUts Briif as It ttol4 is 114;, ttta u 1t prtt- Thc first question that is generally asked by persons arriving at Wash ington's Chain bridge for the first time, is, "Where are the chains?" There are no chains, and there have been none for the last half century or more. Rut there were chains at one time Uiat particularly designated the bridge that crosses the Potomac river at tho Little Falls, several miles above George town. Tho chains, too, were the all-important part of the bridge, says the Washington Post, for It. was borne entirely by chains. The first bridge over the Potomac at Little Falls, the head of navigation of the river, was built In 1809. It was built by a Mr. Palmer, nnd lasted only a short time, when it fell to pieces during a violent spring freshet. A sec ond bridge took its placo, but that only lasted even a shorter time, about six months. What was known as the Chain bridge was erected in 1810. It was a suspension bridge, supported entirely by chains thrown over the piers erected upon the abutments, which were about twenty feet high. These chains were four in number. The pendents were hung on them alternately about five feet apart, so that each chain received a pendent In every ten feet. The bridge was invented by Judge Findley, who lived near Unlontown, Pa., and where he had erected a similar chain bridge, which performed very good service for many years. The span of the bridge was 128!i feet and tho width sixteen feet. Its weight was about twenty-two tons, which was regarded as a heavy weight In the bridge line in those days. On March 3, 1853, Congress passed an act appropriating a sufficient sum of money to repair the bridge, and Incidentally took the corporation of Georgetown out of the transaction, the United States stepping In as Its owner, a transaction which was perfectly satisfactory to all concerned. This repaired bridge was still practically a chain bridge, though In the repairs Iron In other forms was considerably' used. The bridge covered only the river channel proper, there being a dirt roadway that approached the bridge from either side. It was the washing away of these approaches more than Injury to the bridge itself that put the Chain bridge out of commission so frequently, for It became almost an annual occurrence, particularly during the spring freshets, though in two or three years the washouts also occurred during the fall storms. The Chain bridge, besides being famous for its chiins and equally fa mous because it has no chains, played' a very Inip-n-t-mt part during the Civil War. At one timo one end of It was in pos -j;:ii of the Confederates, while the other end was guarded by TTnion troujr;. In the military campaigns In which the fauicu -, anny of the Potomac took such a prominent part the larger part of the transportation took place over the Long bridge and the Aqueduct bridge, several miles down the Po tomac. Still, the Chain bridge was a place of great activity and interest throughout the entire war. It was surrounded by fortifications for its pro tection in case an effort was made by the enemy to use it as an approach to Washington, and was at all times a very busy locality. The winters when the army was camped In near-by regions of Virginia brought a good deal of traffic to the Chain bridge. In 1872 Congress put an end to the Chain bridge, except in name, by appropriating $100,000 for the present Iron bridge. Though there was noth: lng in the act Itself suggesting it, the old name still hangs to the bridge, though it has no semblance to chains about it. "SHOOT UP" A TOWN. At Englevale, N. D., two cowboys fa tally shot Louis Maxwell, a farmer, took possession of the town for twelve hours, and finally departed with armed citizens in pursuit. The cowboys, known as the Gant brothers, escaped. In a pool room fight Maxwell was shot by ono of the brothers. The Gants, who recently came from Texas to work on a ranch, then took possession of the town. Firing volley after volley with large revolvers, the two paraded the streets and forced every one to do their bidding until long after midnight. They tben galloped off, much to the relief of the inhabitants. CHUBCH'S REAL HARVEST. To Clear teh the First Christian at Braver, Okla., Raised Corn. The congregation of the First Chris tian Church of Heaven, Okla, a Kans as City Times co-respondent says, planted and reaped forty acres of broomcorn last season to raise funds for reducing the Indebtedness on Its new church building. The Rev. R. R. Coffey, the pastor, led his congregation In the work, men and women and boys and girls joining with hiiu in the en terprise. The land used belonged to James Crabtree, a farmer, living four miles west of Deaver. As the season prog ressed the "church eld" thrived won derfully. Whenever there was work to do willing hands were found to do it. The time of ripening came and the corn grew yellow and golden in the sunshine. There was much talk about the prospect of high prices for broom corn, and as the season advauced buy ers began coming from eastern mar kets to the broomcorn elds of Beaver County. Finally the day of harvesting ar rived and the congregation of the Reaver Christian Church was astir early In the morning. Fathers and mothers, boys and girls and young men and young women, with the Rev. Mr. Coffey at their head, went to the "church farm" and ail day there was laughter and pulliug of broomcorn "straw." At noon everybody was called to a basket dinner furnished by the housewlveB who had piled up small mountains of brown fried chicken, with gravy, vegetables, country-cured ham, Ughtbread. Jelly cake, caramel cake, pie and all such things for kie hungry workers. When night came the harvesters had "pulled" twenty-five acres of broom corn, and next day the work was fin ished. The straw'was hauled to town and baled and was then ready for the market. Buyers were asked to bid for iJli CHAIN BRIDGE GETS ITS NAME. the "church farm" crop, and when the price went up to $160 a ton, the corn was sold five and one-half tons of it which turned $880 in the church treasury and came near lifting thr church debt. Wlint a Dollar Dour Can Do. A man in a nearby city bought foi his wife and child a year ago a dog, for which he pair a dollar. It was obviously .nothing wonderful in the canine way merely a mongrel, with the bulldog strain predominant. The owner was a man in humble circum stances, and the dog in his modest dwelling was the principal asset aside from a few sticks of furniture. The other night Tom was tied to a leg of the kitchen sink, as usual, and the family went to bed. They were awak ened by the dog at midnight scratch ing at his master's door. When his master came out to see what was the matter the dog, with a remnant of chewed rope hanging from his collar, whined and ran to the head of the stairway. The house was on fire, and shortly after woman and child and man and dog made their escape their poor dwelling was a mass of glowing embers. The owner of the dog has been urged to part with him for a large cash consideration; but, though he is penniless, he will not part with the four footed savior of his family. Neither bas the dog at any time had thoughts of leaving them for luxurious kennels. New York Times. A Dlstlniralshcd Audience. Doctor Hook, the famous Vicar o. Leeds, had to preach one Sunday morn ing In the Chapel Royal. The cfergy man who read morning prayers left for duty elsewhere ; the clerk went into the vestry to stir the fire; and when the preacher mounted the pulpit, he found himself alone with the congrega tion one young man. Doctor Hook went to the congrega tion and told him it would be ridic ulous to preach. "Oh," replied the youug man, "I have come a long way to hear you preach. I beg you will proceed." "No," said the doctor, "I really can't think of such a thing. Besides, how very personal you would find the ser mon. But I'll tell you what I will do. I will walk across the park with you, and give you the heads or my ser mon as we walk along." The young man was Samuel Wilber force, subsequently Bishop of Oxford. Wfalchf A justifiable rebellion was that oi Isabtd. She was on the grass In front of the house, playing with the baby, aged 2. Isabel herself, not more than three times the other's age, was act ing the part of mother to perfection. Presently along came a young man, who thought he understood children. "Good morning!" he said, elaborate ly, taking off his hat. "How are you ladies to-day?" Isabel looked at hlin with diguity and replied, "Good morning!" and went on attending to the baby. The young man stooped down. "Ah," he said, "and which Is which?" "I'm Isabel." replied the older gin, "and that's which." luil anil Mom. The Father I learn with sorrow my tion, that you are getting to be what they term quite fast. The Son You shouldn't believe all you hear, dad. I'll Introduce you to a man who will tell you another story. The Father And who is lie? The Son My tailor. He says I ti the slowest chap he'a at on his books DOCTORS FAILED. RESTORED DY PERUIMA. Catarrh of the Lungs Threatened Her Life. Miss Ninette Porter, Bralntreo, Ver-. mont, writes I "I bavo boon cured by Poruna. "I had several hemorrhages of the lungs. The doctors did not help ma much and would never havo cured me. "I saw a testimonial in a Poruna almanac, of a case similar to mine, and I commenced using It. "I was not able to valt on myself when I began using it. I gained very slowly at first, but I could bcg that It was helping me. "After I had takon It a while I com menced to rslso up a stringy, sticky substance from my lungs. This grew loss and less In quantity as I continued the treatment. "I grow moro fleshy than I had been , for a long time, and now I call myself well." Mn Famine. Willie, a Utile country boy, 6 years of age, was taken one Sunday night to a large city church, where he saw for the first time a vested choir. To hi3 mother's surprise and gratification, he not only kept wide awake, but seemed greatly Interested in every part, of the service. At its close he turned to her and said, "I like this church, it is so nice to watch the preacher when he comes out with all his wives in their nightgowns." Har per's Magazine. Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cure constipation. Constipation Is the cause of many diseases. Cure the cause and you cure the disease. Easy to take. Inrle Allen. "In looking back over the mistakes you've made, young man," counseled Uncle Allen Sparks, "don't regret them. They have made you fed ashamed of yourself, and you can't take a more wholesome mental exercise than that." Chicago Tribune. A TRIFLING OorUH will rtprnmn a T"'u tipnt ono unlem Moppix!. Alien' Limit llnlsnni will min-It mop It. A 'A'ic hmtlfl In Inriri- i-nmiKll fur that. Hold by nil dniunlsts, lev, Mr und tl.OU luitUot. The carrot grows spontaneously throughout Europe, Asia Minor, Siber ia, Northern China, Abyssinia, North ern Africa, Madeira and the Canary Islands. Did yon ever have a good, old-fashioned boy's stomach ache? Of course you have. A little dose of Hanilins Wiz ard Oil will chsse away a colicky pain in the stomach like magic. The same force that moves a ton along a highway will pull a thirty-two-ton canal-boat. Mrs. Wlnnlow's Soothing Syrup for children teething, softens the gums, re duces Inflammation, allays pain, cures wind colic. 25c a bottle. Out of each one hundred Inhabitants In New York City slxty-ono are mar ried. FOR BALE Developed minon. Any size tract of niirmrnl, timber, fruit, vine yard and farm land. K. L. Workman, St. loe, Arkansas. Sense and Sensibility For some days the dining room had been disturbed by the Invasion of the new boarder. She was fat, fifty, and very sentimental, and her tender na ture led her to whisper so many rap turous confidences In her neighbor's ear that all the rest at the table felt uncomfortable, so uncomfortable, that one day after a harassed breakfast, the neighbor determined to make a struggle for liberty and general con versation. Her opportunity came that night at dinner. "Sweet flowers of spring!" murmur ed the sentimentalist, apostrophizing the nodding daffodil centerpiece. "Aren't they dear? So full of poesy! And don't you think that we ought al ways to call them daffadowndillies In stead of daffodils?" she whispered. "No, I don't," answered the neigh bor, uncompromisingly, and quite out loud. "Just think how awkward It would have been for Wordsworth if he'd had to write: And then my heart with pleasure fil lies, And dances with the daffadowndil lies." For once the sentimentalist was si lenced. Small 11 a mmlnur Bird. Cuba probably has the smallest hum ming bird in the world Calypte Hel enae (named after Princess Chris tian), but it may have a rival in timl ness in a Peruvian species of Aces trura. The Calypte Helenae is an ex quisite little creature not quite two Inches long, with a forked crimson gorget. . -j. t A WOMAN DOCTOR Uas Quick In Nre That Coffee Was Doing the MUt-htrf. A lady tells of a bad case of coffee poisoning and tells it In a way so sim ple and straightforward that literary skill could not Improve It. "I had neuralgic headaches for 12 years," she says,.. "and suffered untold agony. When 1 first began to have them I weighed 140 pounds, but they brought me down to 110. 1 went to many doctors and they gave me only temporary relief. So I suffered on, till one day a woman doctor told me to use Postum. She said I looked like I was coffee poisoned. "So I began to drink Postum and I gained 15 pounds In the first few weeks and continued to gain, but not so fast as at first. My headaches be gan to leave me after I had used Postum about two weeks long enough to get the coffee iolson out of my sys tem. "Since I began to use Postum I can gladly say that I never know what a neuralgic headache is like auy more, and it was nothing but Postum that made me well. Before I used Postum I never went out alone; I would get bewildered and would not know which way to turn. Now I go alone and my head is as clear as a bell. My brain and nerves ere stronger than they have been for years." Read the little book. "The Road to Wellvllle," in pkgjt. There' a Rea son." Ever read the above letter? A new one appears from time to time. They are genuine, true, and full of human interest.