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THE ALLIANCE HERALD. TUESDAY, OCTOBER 18, 1921.
TTiREJ Go to Theatre Week in Alliance Oct. 23-29 IMPERIAL THEATRE SUNDAY, OCT. 23 The day of rest, relief from labor, When work is laid away. When you, your family, your neighbor Just loaf about and play And hear the sprite. Amusement calls "The Biggest Goidwyn Night of All." TOM MOORE, in "Made In Heaven" USUAL COMEDY Adm. 9 and 27c and W. T. RANDOM SHOTS Monday & Tuesday OCTOBER 24 and 25 When the Sun first takes a peek And ushers washday in. The Housewife knows it's Goidwyn Week And washes with a grin. Oct. 24th and 25th's the days To see a- Goidwyn extra good photoplay. Reginald Baker's production of "Godless Men" USUAL COMEDY NO ADVANCE IN PRICE Adm. 9 and 27c, and W. T. Wed.andThurs. OCTOBER 26 and 27 There are many things to keep the home abuzzin' But as she darn this Mrs. Sings Cantatas by the dozen. And this is why she sings her songs. Tonight she'll join the Goidwyn throngs And see the Goidwyn spe cial for the week. RUPERT HUGHES Master Production "Dangerous Curve Ahead" Adm. 20 and 50c & W. T. Friday and Saturday OCTOBER 28 and 29 Now Friday marches with the days That number only seven This lucky numeral purveys A bit of MOVIE Heaven. REX BEACH'S "North Wind's Malice" USUAL COMEDY Adm. 9 and 36c & W. T. THIS IS "GO-TO-TIIE. THEATRE" WEEK IN ALLIANCE Notice the above attraction and notice the Admission. Cut Below Big City Prices. A Mexican at ScottsblufT undertook to discipline his wife, and with the aid of a red hot noker accomplished his purpose. The court fined him all of S5 and read him a severe lecture. If he had jfouged out her eye or chewed off her ears, the court would undoubt edly have ordered the culprit a wrist slapped, and read him a cnapter irom the B;ble. We can't be too severe with these cheap foreign laborers. A sate in Spartanburg, S. C, say3 there may be some objection to bobbed hair, but it uoesn t eaten on a man s coat button. The Passing Show. "Oh, free, how my feet hurt. I haven t done a thinir the last two hours but walk around, and I'm dying for a chance to sit down. "The crowds on the streets todiy make Alliance seem just like Kt nsas Citv" "I came to town today to rind vhe- ther the report is true that Alliance is going to give away something. I've never got anything here before ihut I didn t pay for. "Darn those kids I can t ee a thintr "Thev mav come un to my home ar.d drag me out of bed, and tar and feather or kill me but I II promise you one thing if they get me I'll pet nt least four of them. "It was a great movie, of course, but I can't understand why when till those children came home, not one of them thought of brimnmr the grandchildren, That old mother must have been simply wild to see the grandchildren." Add to list of necessary evils the fellows who repair automobile tires and forget that when a nail goes through one side of an inner uibe it likely to go through the other us well Mary Whitebelly is credited with iha fa nt nra nr nnp frrpttseu rtitr. ai- tiimttrVi nil thp nmiau'g surrounded the porker and the .crowd, by pressing closely, really ma most 01 me wr. VinH nt. lpst two noumls more lard' in her hair and on her bealwork than the rest of them, and if she ever washes ud. she'll have earnet the victory. ' Among the things that give joy to the weary may be listed an acciuen- tal glimpse at a handsome young woman who is compelled to "re-roll her own." When once siocKings siarc to slip, there is imperative mod for quick action, just as is the case when one's Boston garters prove false to their trust. Snmn TWnnlf have all the luck. And others sret bv because they are wear ing rubber heels. Wo'v worn ruhber heels for over two years, but nothing like that ever happened when we were aroun I. What Is Profanity? A r,iinlf of ten-vear-old hopeful? were walking down West Third street Mnmlai' nicrht a vouth and a maid. The; boy, remarked, in that tone that is prevalent among kids of that ngc: "Aw, I haven't done that for a hell of a long time. Th trirl romnanion spoke up in a surprised, although not particularly bhockeu tone: ' 1 thougni you veren supposed to swear after you have been baptised." "You don t know your stun, came the reply, "why, 'hell' ain't bad." At that, you know, there are worse words. wears Congress shoes in the daytime od carpet slippers in the evening, if s wears slippers at all. Ole's threat ened to expose our golf score if we mention his neckties arain. Why should he use the plural when he has but one I And hU wife selected that one. It's a good looking tie, even if it is getting soiled. Today's Best Story (And it's none too good.) An ardent angler took a friend fish ing. The friend knew nothing about the gentle art, but was set up with all the necessary tackle, and a nice, com fortable seat on the bank. The experienced hand started fishing a few yards higher up the stream. Presently the novice said: "mow much do those red things cost? "I suppose you mean the float 7 so id the angler. "That only costs about twopence." 'Well, 1 owe you twopence," saiu the novice. "The one you lent me has sunk." Usual Matinee Daily, 2:30 Nebraska News Notes Hog Cholera Spreading. NORFOLK Hoir cholera has brok en out in many parts of northern and western Nebraska, according to worn received by County Agent Stewart from state veterinarians who have iust returned from the infested dis tricts, lhe early reports from inese officials indicate that many animals are dead or are suffering from the dis ease. It is feared that the disease is spreading from many herds. In Madi son county according to Mr. Stewart, cholera has begun to show serious in dications. Seven hoars on the I. J King farm near Newman Grove have died from the disease. These hogs were in a herd of 10. One boar purchased from the King herd is believed to have infetced the herd on the Kauf man farm. It's ircttine so the flappers don't know which movie star it is safe to fall in love with. Joe Moore, a brother of Owen. Tom. and Matt Moore, all of them movie stars, was arrested in Ijs Anceles recently on charges pre ferred bv his mother. Joe admitted that he had been drunk for a week, but his mother charged that it was nearer eight years since he had drawn a sober breath. Mavhe he's fl conscientious cuss, and couldn't stand to play his part in some of those punk movies unless ne were in such a maudlin condition that he didn't know what he was doinir. Nothine else will explain some of these movies. If vnu'vf no other wav to spend the eveninir. try this stunt: In nine out of ten cases, a string that is exactly tliA ci'n rt tha ncwlr will ulsn lw exact ly the size of the calf of the leg at its largest point. Ten or even five years ago. that in formation would have been valuable to a man with curiosity. Now, alas, only the blind need be curious. Old fitorv: In the irood old days u.hpn .In a Miller was still at it. this used to be a big hit in the vaudeville houses: "Why do women have ankles?" Answer: To keep the calves out of the corn." Philo says: "When a storekeeper i i : .u. .I.,..'., nnus a ieau iiiirci in mc d ceipts, he imagines tne country is in fiztA hv n lpsmrflte band of coun terfeiters." Nature Studv "Did you ever notice," remarked the W ti Ida ritv rmifiin. "that tuuiui w - j , when a bunch of cattle are grazing -. i. ,1 . i i they all move aiong wiw meir ueaus in the same direction?" "Why, so they do, don't they?" re plied the city boy, glancing at the herd. Then, after gazing long and earnestly, he ejaculated: "But, by George! I see something you've never noticed. Their tails are all in the opposite direction!" - If they don't hurry up with the Ar buckle trial, some of us will begin to believe the prosecutor who feared that moneyed friends of the accused would attempt bribery knew what he was talking about. Grand Island Soldiers' Home. LINCOLN Governor McKelvie is favorable to the plan of having the United States government take over the state soldiers home at Grand Is land and convert it into a national hospital for sick and disabled ex-service men. He has written a letter to Congressman W. E. Andrews at Wash ington, expresing his approval of the project and tendering his assistance and co-operation toward its realiza tion. The governor received a call sev eral days ago from a delegation of Grand Island citizens who presented the matter to him. He assured them that he would be glad to recommend the proposition to the next legislature if. it assumes some tangible form in the meantime. Mr. McKelvie is not prepared to Kay on just what terms he would be willing to have the soldiers' home turned over to the federal government. The suite owns half a million dollars' worth of property there, and some rcmuner ition might be expected for it. However, the cost of maintenance is Slz.i.OO!) a year, and if this were assumed by the united Mates it would be conquered zX least partial compensation. As the number of civil war survivors s rapidly diminishing, the need i f two state soldiers' homes will disappear within a few years at most, the gover nor thinks, -lhe Mil font home will probably be large enough to acc'immo- date all the civil war veterans left at both institutions in the near future. With this fact in mind, Congress man Andrews is working on the p'an to convert the Grand Island institution nto a federal hospital for men who served in the world war. Should that be done, it will be considerably en larged and equipped with all modern hospital facilities. There is no such institution now maintained by the United States be tween the Mississippi river and the Rocky Mountains, north or the Mason and Dixon line. Grand Island would be a central point for Nebraska and half a dozen surrounding states. Automobile, wheels are now ling, made of solid wood, just as were the wheels of mankind's first cart. Rarhprs who are accused of profit- ecrine mould come into coun wiui specimens of their cheaper cuts. A voice from heaven assures us that IMPERIAL TONIGHT A Lois Weber Production "TO PLEASE ONE WOMEN Comedy "A WEEK OFF" Adm 9, 36 and W. T. WEDNESDAY "WHAT'S A WIFE WORTH Comedy "LADIES PET" Adm 9 and 27c and W. T. THURSDAY, Oct. 20 I lobar t Bosworth -in "BRUTE MASTER" Comedv "OUIJA TELL US" Adm 9 and 27c and W. T. $650 $650 c Come and See What They Have Done to Make the EVROLET "Four Ninety" The Superior Car That It Is They have put in a new rear axle assembly with spiral bevel. Ring gear and pinion. Imporved springs, front and rear. . . j New hand controlled emergency brake. . ,! Tapered roller bearings in front wheel. j -. Longer king bolt with bronz bushing. ' New king bolt, lubricating grease cup on steering knuckle. Better steering wheel position. New and heavier steering knuckle and arm. New arrangements of service and emergency brake rod. . . . Increased capacity of gas tank. ; Heavier cills in body frame. Six new steel braces on body. Better quality of trimmings and upholstering. Wider cushions and higher back to seats, both front and rear. . Better and heavier material in top. : The newimprovemcnts on this car cost at least $100. The price in Alliance is $650 with two months free service. .... RIMER MOTOR - CO. AGENTS I -innnnnpd n; I Gasoline that Vaporizes in all Weathers It makes little difference what a gallon of gasoline looks like or weighs. Its vaporizing qualities determine its value as a motor fuel. Red Crown Gasoline vaporizes readily in the coldest weather. It is straight-distilled gasoline with a complete chain of boiling point fractions. Even in cold weather you have a quick-starting motor and get big mileage per gallon of gaso line. Red Crown Gasoline meets all U. S. Government Speci fications for motor gasoline. It not only vaporizes readily but It also ignites instantly and burns up completely. It is as dependably uniform as science and modern methods and machinery can make it, Authorized Red Crown Dealers Everywhere Wherever you go you can always get Red Crown Gasoline from reliable, competent and obliging dealers. The gasoline and motor oils they sell make motor operation more pleasant, more economical and more dependable. Drive in where you see the Red Crown Sign. Write or ask for a Red Crown Road Map STANDARD OIL COMPANY OF NEBRASKA Ole Buck Is the kind ol a man who imiK