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THE ALLIANCE HERALD, TUESDAY, NOVEMREU 20. 1921.
RANDOM SHOTS Why is it that nine out of ten holi days come on days when the printing: fraternity don't dare stop working to njoy them. We're going to ask Ase Wood, if he is elected to the state senate, to urire a law making- all holidays fall on ' .Sunday. 1 Those twenty armed men who night ly patrol the streets of Alliance must e members of the "invisible" Ku Klux atlan. DIG Up"ntOW. (Nebraska Citv Press) ; The Ked Cross j . Is a noble band; You seldom hear . ' It holler; But now it seeks Your helping hand 1 It's time to Pay your dollar. A committee of society spies have 'finally settled the problem as to why ne young married couple are so lib eral in their use of cheap perfume. 'The report says that if no one used a bathtub any more than this couple, all that kind of plumbing would be over .grown with moss. One old gentleman of our acquain tance, who made his living by doing dd jobs, was suffering from a bad ase of snuffles. "That's a bad cold you have," we told him, sympathetical ly. "It is," he replied mournfully, "'and I know how I got it. I always told my wife that I shouldn't take a bath in the winter, but she insisted. But," he" added with a voice of stern resolve, "shell never make ine do it -again." OUR NEWEST CONTRIB. What can Alliance girls be thinking of, that is the question. During the iance last Saturday night at the roof garden, one of the Old Settlers intro duced a young City Chap from Craw ford to his best girl. They danced. 'They drank sodas. They went home together. The City Chap even went so far as to call on her Sunday afternoon. ! Results: Old Settler, 99 per cent air; City Chap from Crawford, In Solid. .Says the Old Settler, "Ishka Woiry. Christmas is coming!" Blessed be the contributors: may. Iheir tribe increase. Alliance has it.s share of trials and tribulations, but thank haevnn, ve"e no amateur poet such as Leo Lloyd,' who must be a fearful thorn in the flesh of the Chadron editors. , Leo's latest is a half-column ride on Pegasus inspired by a bazaar staged toy the C. & N. W. Woman's club.) Leo, they say, holds a responsible position with the Northwestern rail 'vay, but he keeps his true name far away from his poetry. The last verse is a fair sample: I " "ne 01 me oesi in tne city, ; And all they acquired will be given T it t . 10 inose wno are worthy or pity. In the good old days, you could buy that kind of poetry at 40 cent a yard. Now the authors plead with you to print it free. A lostTllusion. (Nebraska City Press.) We got the shock of our life the day when we saw the photograph of the author or our favorite novel. 1 ho stor is one of those paprika affairs, lilted U the brim with red-hot love-making panting heroes and bosom-swelling heroines. Naturelly, we opined, opin ing to ourself, the author of a tempes tuous tale like this must be a Lolla paoozer for Looks. Imagine our sur prise and pity our sorrow when wc looked at the "pitcher." The face of our Favorite would stop an eight-da lock. It would rush a bull otr the bridge. It would discourage an Inebri ate from drinking the most palatable mess of Home Brew. Another one of Life's Little UIusionsThas been busted. TODAY'S BEST STORY. The fact that his supposedly adored big t-other wa ret-rning home from college that day had been carefully concealed from ten-year-old Tommy until he came back .from school. "Tommy," said his mother, after her younger son had gone upstairs to wash his face and the elder had been concealed in the pantry, "I have a big surprise for you." "I know what it is" replied Tommy unconcernedly. "Brother's back." "Why, how did you guess that?" " 'Cause my bank won't rattle any more." OUT WHERE THE WEST BEGINS. "Say, Red," said Dead Shot Bill to a bartender in one of the thirteen lead ing speak-easies of Burnt Powder, Arizona, "didn't Shifty Pete tell you that he thought I had a hasty tem per?" "Why, no," replied Red, "not that I can remember." 'Too bad," aid Bill, giving one of his holsters a hitch. "Then I've killed an innocent man." Steve is said to be all worked up because some cigars, cigarettes and chewing pum brought to the sheriff's office as an offering to Tom weren't taken up to him immediately, and he has been informed that two or three of the cigars, some of the cigarettes and a slab or two of chewing gum fell into other hands. Oh, well. A cigar can't help who smokes it. Cigarettes and chewing gum are equally helpless. Colonel Evans, when he lost his case in county court, began telling the world that he would get the judge's1 goat. 1 he shenq isn t fretting any more than the judge did. ABE MARTIN II. Said Napoleon Muzzy, "Well any way, now that winter is here, when I go down town I can use the fairly good . overcoat my wife's father left me to cover up the patches on my best suit," I Jake Zeig drove in from the ranch Thursday to meet his son, William, who, came down from Alliance to spend Thanksgiving vacation with his ; parents at the ranch. Jim McMirtrey returned home from Missouri last week. Mr. and Mrs. I. D. Whaley and Har vey Whaley and family drove to Alli ance Thanksgiving to spend the day with the Clyde Fosdick familv. Miss Sarah Lamberson and adopted laughter came down from Alliance to visit relatives here. A number from here attended the dance at Antioch Wednesday evening. Harvey Whaley drove to Ellsworth Thanksgiving evening to help play for the dance. Mrs. George Highland entertained Mr. and Mrs. Henry Stoop and other relatives at Thanksgiving dinner last Thursday. Anumber from here attended the Thanksgiving dance at Ellsworth last Thursday night. Mrs. Ben Baker and (laughter Elsie, spent a few days here last week visit ing friends. Robert Campbell and Doyt Grebe drove down from Antioch Thursday. George Lindley and family, and Mr. and Mrs. Jesse Wilson and family of Antioch ate Thanksgiving dinner with the Ray Wilson family here. Mr. A. W. Tyler and daughter Mar ian and William Arms drove in from the ranch last Thursday morning. Miss Nelda Tollard accompanied them home to send the rest of the week with her friend, Marian. She returned home Saturday. Mr. Charles Barneby returned from Mullen Thursday. Edward Jameson went to Lincoln last Wednesday. Mr. George Lindley was a west bound passenger Friday. Mr. and Mrs. Jake Herman and daughter, Mary, lrove in from the ranch Friday. Mrs. Frank DeFrance drove ud from her ranch home Friday morning and was R west-bound passenger on No. 43 that day. Charles Barneby was a Rushville business visitor last Friday. Mrs. Lee Dillard and daughter, Doris Ruth, and Ruth Pollard arrived from Halsey Saturday. George Hunsakcr and family drove down from Antioch to spend Thanks giving day with home folks here. Mr. Nelson drove in after a load of ranch supplies for the Star ranch the latter part of the' week. Miss Mae Livings returned from Ashbv Sunday, where she spent Thanksgiving with relatives. The Misses Alice Schill and Wilma Mote returned from Alliance Sunday, after spending Thanksgiving with home folks at that place. Grant Keith was in from the ranch Saturday night. The Misses Wilma and Beatrice Westover went to Alliance Sunday. Mr. and Mrs. Harvey Whaley drove to Alliance Sunday evening. Mr. and Mrs. Harvey Whaley drove to Alliance Sunday evening. Mrs. H. S. Fullerton and children went to Alliance Saturday to visit the former's sister, Mrs. Elmer Cook, who i in me nospitai at that place. Thev returned Sunday and went ,to their lunch home southeast of here. Charles Hitt visited friends here for the week-end. R. A. Westover returned from Wyoming Saturday. Sheritr Robert Bruce of Rushville was in town the latter part of the week. Mrs. Coe and daughter, Mrs. And rew Stride, upnl tn A1lian.a !nliinl.i I Mr. and Mrs. Todd Whaley and son 'Miitia; null ItriaillCS here. I Trainmen's Request Denied by the State Railway Commission In an opinion written by Commis sioner Cook, the state railway com mission denies the rcouest of the trainmen's brotherhood, presented by Harry Ford, asking that all railroad switch stands be ordered equipped with standard lights in yards where a switch engine is operated at night, says the State Journal. This was later amended to require the equipment of an stands used at night in yard limits and that they be kept burning nights when the yards are being used. The railroad managers stated that they had all necessary lights burning and that some switches were located where to light the stands would be im possible. The men insisted that the absence of lights on all stands created a dangerous condition, that men were apt to Injure themselves by stumbling over them or falling over tie emR Commissioner Cook says that the testimony did not disclose any case of where anybody had been hurt He held that no general need of such an order had been disclosed, and there fore denied the request He said it was recognized that there might le concrete cases where lights should le used where not now used, and there the commission would be glad to act upon and to give relief. The general situation was cared for by the safety committes. Personal examination by Mr. Cook showed that all the principal stands are well lighted, and 'he thought that with ordinary care and forethought, together with the use of a good light in the hands of the oper ator, no greater hazard was run at night than at day. The testimony showed that the maintenance of switch stands cost S32 a year, and the commission t-:r's mat to require all to be lighted would place an unreasonable and unjust additional expense, whn the fact is the curriers are well within the law now. " With respect to the clearances asked for the commission says that to grant the request would mean the recon struction of every yard and terminal in the state, and would clearly be an abuse of power by it "My extra pants usually cost $8 to $23. Until Christmas I will give extra pants free with every suit." Model Cleaners and Tail ors. 105 Past Year Shows a Decrease in Cattle on Western Ranges A decrease in the number of cattle in Nebraska of 7 per cent in 1921, from the figure of the year previous, was announced by the state bureau of markets. The decrease is 1X6,239 head. The total number of cattle in the state is 2,411,818, as compared with 2.r)98,037 for the year to 1920. Counties in the western half of the THREE state without exception showed d creases, in the figures which wr compiled from assessors' reports. Grant cour.ty reported a shortage of 44 per cent Thomas county report! 42 per cent loss, Dakota 22 per cnt Arthur 21 per cent, Borwn 20 per cent, and Wheeler 20 per cent Most counties in the eastern part of the state showed increases. Cow and heifers were 97 per cent strongi . The decrease in steers was 22 per cent Very little difference wt shown in the figures for milch cow- Herald 'V'ant Ads Result. ?i'niiiiiiiiiiiiniiiiii;iiiii;iiin:iiiiiim;ma:iiniiii:iiii:iirnnrTrmtmt THIS IS Furniture Christmas Can't you recall, on looking backward, the many useless Christmas presents you have given, simply because you wanted to make a presentation on that occasion? Generally the gift was of no use to the one receiving it, and after a few days of admiration, for the thought it conveyed, it was cast side, never to be made use of. How different, had the gift been a piece of furniture: an article of every day use and adornment for the home, and the thought, ever before the recipient, of the one who gave it. Daily use of the article would not allow of forgetfulness and nonappreciation. Bear This in Mind and Make This a ffurniture Gbrtstmas Geo.B. Darling 115-117 West Third Street Alliance, Nebraska imiiiiiiiiiHiiiiiiiiiiiiiMimimmiiiiimmiiiiHttimiimMiii m i inmnr ' ' 1 "" 1 ' ... U; i i ft Looks Qerwhelmiip. 8 Does Your Basket of Clothes Look as Big as a Mountain on Monday Mornings? IF IT DOES SEND IT TO Our "Wet Wash" Department We will take all the hard work from the weekly washing. How simple it would be to step to the phone and tell us to call. We wash the clothes in clean, soft water and deliver them to you damp in the evening. All you have to dp is dry and iron them. AT THIS COST YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO BOTHER WITH IT WHAT A pOMFORT YOU Don't Dread Wash Day Just Phone 160 We Will Relieve You of All the Drudgery of Wash Day It Means This to You: NO BOILING NO RUBBING NO RINSING NO BLUEING NO MACHINES TO TURN NO WATER TO EMPTY NO MESS TO CLEAN UP Send Them Away DIRTY in the Morning and They Come Back CLEAN That Night. "Wet Wash" Service NOW Available -Phone 1 60 Clothes Are Delivered Damp With the opening of the Wet Wash De partment, Monday, November 28, Alliance housewives are relieved of the hard work of washing clothes. They are delivered damp to you. WASHED IN SOFT WATER AT A REASONABLE PRICE All clothes sent to our Wet Wash Department will be washed in clean, soft water. At this price it is certainly worth a thorough trial All bundles STRICTLY CASH on Delivery. $1.00 a Bundle Plus an Extra 5c PER POUND over 20 lbs. One-Day Service Offered Patrons are urged to get their orders to us before 8:30 a. m. Then we will deliver them clean that same evening. Orders re ceived after 8:30 will be delivered following. evening. Orders Received Before 8:30 a. m. Will Be Returned the Same Evening This Department Only Women Who Do Their Own Family Wash ing are Urged to Try This. Allianc e S team We Ask You to Compare the Cost With All.: the Other Sys- -tenirfydu KtrOw -rsr f