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THE SEMI-WEI KLY TRIBUKt IIU U BARB. Publlshtr. THHMS, $1.11 IN ADVANCW NRTH PLATTB NEBRASKA THING GOT ON HIS NERVES I Irascible Old Gentleman Found ! Himself Compelled to "Outt Into" the Conversation. It happoncd on nn olovntcd trnln. A nervous man was Bitting In front of a couple! Tho man of tho couple wna explaining to tho woman tho wonders of tho clovated system. "Tliat'o tho third rail," ho said. "O, yen," Bho answered. "Why do thoy call It tho third rail?" "Why, becauso thero oro throo rallH, you boo." "Do you know, I havo often won dercd why It wbb. It lookfl like It was hlghor titnn tho others." "It la. They havo to havo It that way." "Itcallyt It BoomB to ho higher. So that'B tho third rail. Do you know, I havo read and hoard bo much about tho third rail, and novor know what It was. It nppears to bo lighter than tho othor two." "Yea. It Is. That's tho third-rail eystosn, you know." "Uh-huta. I novor could understand It beforu. It really looks hlghor than the o thorn, too, doesn't It?" "It la higher. You boo, thoy ralBO It above Uio others." "Myl Don't they do things In the -city T Bo that Is tho third rail? It doesn't look any different from the others, ealy It seems to bo hlghor." "Yea. It's higher. You boo" At this point ' tho nervous man Jamraod his paper Into a wad, turned about and glarod at tho couplo nnd snapped: "For tho oako or argument, madam, we will conccdo that it is tho third roll and that it la higher than the others. Now, what's the next point In dispute T" Tba conductor Induced him to got off at the next stbp, Chicago Evening Tost Drainage Area of Ohio River. Beginning In 1007 the United States geological survey undertook to define the fuU drainage nroa of tho Ohio river basin in squaro miles. Its first Important subject has boon tho Ka nawha river, whero an Intonslvo study has been In progress. At tho moutb of the Kanawha, whero it empties Into tho Ohio river, Its drainage has been placed at 12,000 squaro miles. In 1808 2G gauging stations were maintained in tho Kannwha basin, av eraging ono station for each 49 square miles of drainage Final estimates ol the flow of the river for each month in Uio year will require more timo or accuracy In tho full report, but from four of these stations an approxlma Hon has been made, interesting ns tc water versus steam power. In the bullotla of the survoy 1b tho state ment: "The Kanawha river dralnago basin contains abundant water powero nnd also groat resources of good coal, and If hydraulic powor can competo with power developed from steam In thla area It will be possible for It to com pete with steam In almost any other part of the country." Thomas Hardy's Birthday. In tho quiet thnt only a rigorously guarded front door enn Insuro whore tho horo f tho occasion Is n world' famous novelist and tho scono n cozy London flat, Thomas Hardy colobra- ted his seventieth birthday laBt weok.'l From every part of tho world con gratulations reached him by post and telegram in this llttlo oyrio in the heart of a London thnt ho knows nnd lovca a good deal better than some Wcbbox worshipers Imagine An at tack ec influenza baa loft him in no mood t seo visitors, bo, whllo pil grims many of them Amorlcans wero tramping tho path that loads to Max data, Hardy's country homo In Dorsetshire, ho hlmsolt was calmly Bitting at his London tea table with his devoted wife, listening to tho dis tant roar of thq motor-busoB tearing tholr way to London's "dormitories," as her aorthorn suburbs are called. Harper's Literary Gossip. ' Bottle Many Centuries Old, In a recent lecture in Paris, Profes sor JttMan, a member of tho faculty of the College do Franco, shoWod n bottle of wine which ho declarod was 1,500 years old, Ho said It had been found la tho old cemotory of St. Sou- rlea, near Bordeaux. Tho shape of tho bottle was closely studied and this, as well as the place of discovery, aoemed to carry out tho professor's contention, according to a report made by a member of tho academy. Havoo Wrought by Rabid Dog. Some threo years ago n rabid dog ran across the international bridge at Buffalo into Ontarlb. Many cnaos of rablea have slnco occurred In that province, 'somo fifty porsons bitten by dogs having had to go to Now York for" treatment at the Pasteur Insti tute, Choice of Evils. "According to statistics," road Mrs. Pockem from a magazine, "75 per cent of male criminals aro unmar ried." "Which BhowB how many mon pre fer the penitentiary to matrimony," .rejoined Mr. Pockom, significantly. They Havo to Laugh, "What ever gavo him an Idea he is a humorist?" "He la 'always springing Jokes on the'raen who work for him." Houston Post Summer THE happy possessor of a touring car, or the happier occupant of ono, who regularly takes the nlr In someone's clso touring car, presents horsolf these days In a bonnet and a protecting coat which fastens into a "coat-dress." This garment is of pon geo or llnon, very practical, dainty nnd a protection against the dust from collar to hem. It Is shaped In such n variety of ways that one may chooso from among tho pattern books tho most becoming style. The simplest lines remain tho best and the coat dress should bo plain. Drllllantlne, of tho washable variety, is another choice in fabrics, whero tho wearorJ has reason to wish to get something other than pongee or linen. Tho bonnot Is mado of Madagascar cloth on a supporting voll framo and does not crush tho hair. Tho crown fa. mado of an oblong piece folded in nnd tho bonnot is finished about tho faco with shirred taffeta silk. Ties of tho taffeta, made from plece-sllk, are fringed out at tho ends nnd hemmed at tho sides. Tho frames which sup port theso bonnets hardly doserve the narao, for there 1b so llttlo to them. Tho cloth Is a wiry fabric which nocds little help to retain It in place But tho bonnet is designed to bo cool nnd tho wlro supports are mndo to that end. It must not set too close to tho head. Theso pretty head pieces look vory slmplo and thoy aro as slmplo as a sunbonnet which Is not bo easy to mako successfully, as its nppearanco might Indicate. Wash Bilk or Buodo-llslo gloves enable tho autolst to bo always daintily gloved; If several pairs aro provided clean gloves aro always on call, for thoy may bo washed and drlod ovor night. It takes a very great beauty Indeed to appear at onco charming nnd "blow sy." This summor's auto clothes COAT FOR YOUNG GIRL Serge or cloth would mako up pret tily lllso our sketch, which has a panel front; tho sides of tho upper part are plain, while thoso at lower part are pleated, tho two aro connected by a nmtorlhl waistband which has tho right end pointed, and fastened over on the loft; cord ornaments and but tons form tho fastening. Velvet or satin might bo used to face collar and cuffs. Hat of flno straw, trimmed with Yolvot or roses. Materials required: 3 yards 48 inches wide, dozon buttons, V& yard silk or velvet To Insert Ribbon. When removing ribbon from soiled corsot covers fasten a ploco of twlno on ono ond nnd pull through, take off tho ribbon, loavlng tho string In tho corsot cbver while It Is bolng laun dored. Thon by tying tho ribbon on ono end again it Is easily pulled back Into plnce Many of the smartest new frocks are mado with oversklrts of all sizes from a short apron to a long drapory. Finery aro tho most practical wo have had. Tho roomy coat-dress Is complete and covers up a multitude or wen pro tected finery, or maybe a klmona no ono can tell which, until tho gar ment Is taken off. Every ono who possesses & lnce coat or a scarf or a shawl Is making tho moat of many opportunities. What with tunics, stoles, oversklrts nnd nil sorts of draporles, and the universal ubo of laco, every good old piece is having an nlrlng. This Is likely tq contlnuo for. If the shadows that aro cast before aro in any way authorlta- tive, tho silhouotte of tho Empress Josephine Booms to bo lengthening across tho land abroad, and has ali ready arrived over seas to us. Skirts, are narrow to inconvonlcnce at thq bottom and figures suggest that tho corsot is about to bo forgotten in' effect but not of course In reality. Amorlcan women havo ceased to ac cept everything Paris chooses to hand out to them, however, and it remains to be scon Just how the banded skirts nnd coats will bo received. Dut thero is no doubt nbout tho liking for soft draperies, and old classio models never fall of soma degree of wel como. Tho manner of draping Una bits of old Chantllly Is shown In tho picture Just as a suggestion to somo one who may own a mantlo or shawl or a long scarf. Thero aro any num ber of ways by which it may be mado to bocorao a part of the costume, Shawls aro arrnngod with tho point fastoned to the bodice at tho bust lino platted In at the waist on each sldo of. tho front, but hanging freo at this point, nnd tacked to tho skirt at tho sldos. This Is not tho only manner of placing them. With trained gowns tho flno shawl of old laco may play tho most important part of tho com position. JULIA BOTTOMLEY. ingenious coat hangers Good Substitute for a Regular Article When Such Is Not at Hand, A coat or Jacket of nny description should bo kept on t coat hanger when not bolng worn. If a regular hangor docs not chnnco to bo on hand good substitute can bo evolved by making a tight roll of wrapping paper or newspaper and tying nbout tho cen ter a string with loops loft to hang it on tho hook. Tho paper roll It sufficiently thick will keep n coat in shape nicely. Most waists aro also better hung up than laid In a drawor. In traveling It Is especially convonlent to bo ablo to fashion good hangers with only a 'few old papers, n bit of string and Just n moment's time nnd work. For traveling tho small cases of ex tension hnngors are delightfully com pact and a great convenience. These hangers can also bo bought separately and a bag of silk or dimity made for thorn to bo carried in. A Flounce Finish. To finish tho uppor edgo of a flounce on a dellcato white frock thero Is sug gested a new Idea In a spray of silk flowers. A long and trailing tendril nfado of a milliner's fold of dellcato pink satin is tacked along tho line of Joining whero tho chiffon or tullo la fastened to the skirt. Hanging from this at distances of threo or four Inch es aro single rosebuds, tho smallest Imaginable, made of pink ribbon and each one attached to n leaf made of dollcato, narrow green ribbon. Now, at wider intervals, and reach ing upward from tho long tendril thero appear wandering sprays of tho same pinx biik row ending with a tiny pink bud. On tho samo frock thq sioovo is unisnca witn a similar hand- mndo decoration nnd tho shoulder Una below the subyoko. Chamois Cushions. With a pattern cut out as for stencl) work, tho chamois cover of a cushion, Is llnod with rich brown satin or vol vot and finished round tho edgo with a brown silk cord. A second cushion top of chamois has Its conventional design burnt upon It very delicately burnt with tho pyrographlo noodle, becauso this leather Is too dollcatc for careless work. Fire Drill in the IRE." The word was passed nround among amateur firefighters of tho gov ernment printing office one afternoon recently. Tho flro brlgado Is said to consist of about a dozen laborers. Really thero was no flro about tho big printing office, save In tho engine room furnaces and under tho smoltlng pots. Some ono high In authority at tho prlntcry hnd read a newspaper ac count of a disastrous conflagration In tho west Tho story of tho blazo put tho notion in his head to resurrect a "general order" of several years' standing which provides for a flro drill at Intervals. It was near to the hour for closing down "tho works," 4:30 o'clock, when the edict went forth that the fire brl gado was to asscmblo quickly and from the new building attack an im aginary conflagration In the old struc ture across the alley, which separates tho new from the old. "Con" Men Find Virginian Easy Mark STORY told at police headquarter? by Clarenco Davis of Qlenallen, Va., recalled to older members of tho force the day when confidence men had full sway horo. Tho Virginian related that threo men hnd inveigled him into matching twenty-fivc-cent pieces in a room at the Raleigh hotel, and thnt they hadldlsappeared, ono of them taking $458 belonging to him. When Davis reached the city and ho registered at a hotel near John Marshall placo and Pennsylvania avo nuo, ho was seated on tho coping at tho northwost corner of Pennsylvania avenuo and 7th street when n strang er Bpoke to him. Ho did 'not hesitate to tell tho stranger ho was from near Richmond, and tho latter said ho was acquainted with people in Richmond. Tho Virginian informed tho strang er that ho was thinking of going to j Now York, and that ho wasj a brick layer Dy iraao. "So am I a bricklayer," tho stranger said, "and I'm out of work." Army of Bees Sting A TEAM of horses, stung by n couplo t of bees, plunged madly Into twen ty hives, upsetting them, releasing nn nrmy of 80,000 angry bees, which stung tho horses to death, a few days ngo, over on tho Virginia sldo of tho Potomac river. The negro driver, who ran at the first alarm, did not escnpo unwounded. Thousands of bees pursued his flight, and he wbb terribly stung, but lives. A dozen or moro Irresponsible bees wero flying about tho grounds at tho homo of Dr. Reginald Munson, on the Columbia plko, nenr Arlington, whero be has forty hives. Tho horses, at tached to a coal wagon, worried by tbolr humming, slapped at tho boos with tholr talis. Tho bees retaliated, tinging tho horses. Tho horses, wild with alarm at the nnusual attack, plunged madly about the yard, upsetting twenty hives nnd releasing some ten bushels of bees Fervid Vocabulary rHE lonn policeman who stands guard by tho District bulldlnrc In Washington was making his rounds placidly when thoro dawned upon his horrified mind tho fact that n horse was standing with his foro foot upon tho District building's own sidewalk. Tho horse was hitched to a two- Beated surrey. Upon a Boat of the surrey sat a gentleman with a broad black hat "Got that horso oft tho sidewalk," said tho policeman. "If you want this horso to get oft that sidewalk you put him off your self, you" The remainder of the sentonco was moro In the, way of ex plotlvo than explanation. "You bettor ohut up and get that horse whoro It belongs," the police A man pursued. Big Printing Shop Upon tho receipt of tho order from tho front office tho nmateur firemen got busy without delay. Thero wbb a dragging forth of hoso nnd other ap paratus for fighting "tho red demon." A tnll mnn, who seemed to bo in su premo commnnd of the flromon, gav tho orderB In cool, confident tones. Innumerable hoso lines wore con nected with fire plugs in tho now building. Nozzles wero aimed at tin vcnernblo structure across Jackson al ley. As the Btrcams of water began to play, and tho spray wbb rising in clouds, like tho mist from Niagara Falls, tho printers, bookbinders, wo man folders and othor workers begad to fllo out of tho buildings. Thero Is an order that tho exit oi tho workmen and workwomon must b through tho side doors along tho al loy and Q Btreot Consequently, as tho head of tho lino of workers reach ed tho doors on tho alley nnd wit ncsscd the deluge of water crashing against tho walls of tho old building and flying back in foaming masses, they tried to force thler way back in to tho new structure. Hundreds of tollers behind, noi awaro of tho conditions in front, pressed forward and forced tho front rank out into the alley and Into the torrents of flying water. Tho ensued a scene of excitement. "Como to Now York with me," Da vis told him, "and I will see that you get n Job." Soon a second man, a red-haired In dividual, who said ho was an English man, nppenred and was Introduced. A drink was suggested. Tho men had one In a saloon on Pennsylvania ave nuo. Davis said he would go back tc Richmond and draw his monoy from bank In order thnt ho might have funds enough to see him through his trip to New York. Accompanied by Smith, tho man who first accosted him, Davis went to Richmond, drew his money and returned the next day. Tho rcd-hairod man and n friend met thorn and tho quartet went to the ho tel where the alleged swindlers had taken a room. A game of matching qunrters wai indulged In and Davis lost what sliver change he had. It was then necessary for him to got out his roll of bills., It was tho first -tlmo Lawrence nnd Hop kins, as tho two "con" men were known, had scon tho roll. At tho sug gestion of ono of tho men, Davit handed his roll to Hopkins to hold. Lawrence then said ho wanted to get n check enshod, and It was while he was pretending no was looking for a man to cash It that those in tho party becamo separated. Horses to Death nbout 80,000 In all. Theso bees immediately attacked tho horses, stinging them so badly that both anlmnls died within nn hour. Dr. Munson has long been nn en thuslastlc apiarist. His hives aro lo cated In tho yard at ono sldo of hli house Tho conl wagon, driven by George Low, drew up In front of tho place about 3 o'clock In tho nftcrnoon. Low was a llttlo dubious about venturing Inside Ho could plainly henr an oc casional buzzing that was not alto gether music to his ears. A black swarm of buzzing bees Im mediately flew toward tho horses and Low. Tho latter went acamporlng down tho road with his hands up to his face, brushing nway a thousand or moro of the Insects which had gath ered about him. Tho frlghtenod horses wero almost Instantly covered with tho insects. They started to turn townrd the road, but sank limply In tho traces, whin- noylng wildly with pain. Tho entire neighborhood was In Btantly aroused. A crowd collected nt n safo distance to watch tho un usual event. No one dared at first to go to tho rescue of the horses, Cause of Arrest And then thero, followed a contro versy. It was neaiea, to use a well- worn but perfectly good phrase, and In the end tho pollcoman hopped into the buggy and took tho broad-hatted gentleman around to pollco station No. 1, whero It becamo evident thnt tho prisoner was a southerner and was bolng charged with profanity and lots of It, varied, variegated, lurid, porsonnl and original. The southern gentleman kept It go ing to somo extent evon while he was bolng examined at No. 1, but ho did quit In tlmo to let them know that he was not tho owner ot the horse. About this tlmo n hatless, breath less real estate agont rushed out ol tho District building. "Somobody's run off with my horse and buggyl Where did they got" he shouted. Meantime No. 1 had managed to cool tho southern gentleman to a state where ho would dlsgorgo 5 as col lateral, tho price ot hia profanity, And all this time no one bad found out that the southern gentleman was not , the owner of the horse at alL A BAD THING TO NEGLECT. Don't negloct tho kidneys when vou notice lack of control ovor tho secre tions. Passages become too frequent or scanty; urine la discolored nnd sedi ment appears. No medlclno for such troubles llko Doan'a Kidney Pills. Thoy quickly romovo kid ney disorders. Mrs. A. E. Fulton, 311 Skldmoro St, Portland, Oro., Bays: My limbs swelled terribly and I was bloated over tlx) stomach and had puffy spots beneath tho eyes. My kldnuys wore very unhealthy nnd tho accre tions much disordered. Tho dropsical swellings began to nbato aftor I began using Doan's Kidney Pills and soon I was curod." Remember tho name Doan't,. For salo by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milbura Co., Buffalo, N Y. Controlled Newspapeu- Tho Atchison Qlobe says that no ad vertiser has over tried to control its ed itorial policy, tho remark being occa sioned by the charge ofusn mado nowa days, that tho big advertisers direct tho editorial policy et newspapers. The experience. trf tho Qlobe is tho experience of mrrst newspapers. Tho merchant who docs a great deal of ad vertising is moro interested in tho cir culation department of a newspaper than in tho editorial department It a dally paper goes to the homes of the people, and Is read by them, he Is satis fied, and it may chaso after any theory or fad, for all he cares. He has troubles of his own, and ho Isn't trying to shoul der those of tho editorial brethren. Thero aro newspapers controlled by peoplo outsldo of tho editorial rooms, and a good many of them, inoro's the pity; but tho peoplo exercising thnt control are not tho businessmen who pay their money for advertising Bpace. Tho newBpapors which aro established for political purposes are often con trolled by chronic ofllcosookors, whose first concern is their own Interest!. Thoro aro newspapers controlled by great corporations, and tho volco of such newspapers is always raised in protest against any genuino reform. Tho averngo western nowspapor usu ally is controlled by Its owner, and he is supposed to bo In duty bound to make all sorts of sacrifices at all sorts of times; thoro are peoplo who consider It bis duty to insult his advertisers. Just to show that ho Is freo and Inde pendent If ho shows a decent respect for his patrons, who pay him tholr money, nnd mako lt'posslblo for him to- carry on tho business, ho la "subsi dized" or "controlled." Tho newspaper ownor Is a business man, llko tho dry goods man or tho grocer. Tho mer chants aro expected to havo considera tion for their customers, and theyara not supposed to bo subsidized by tho- man who spends five dollars with them, but the publisher is expected to demonstrate his courago by showing that ho Is ungrateful for tho patron-. ago of his friends. It Is a funny com bination when you think it over, Emporia Gazette. Ho Rose to It "Do you know," said a little boy ot Hvo to a companion tho other day, "my father' and I know everything. What I don't know my father knowB, and what my father don't kndw I know." "All right! Let's see, then," replied, tho older child, skeptically. "Where's Asia?" It was a stiff ono, but tho youngstei never faltered. "Well, that" he answered coolly, Ms ono of tho things my fathev knows." Harper's Bazaar. Whether the church shall stay In the world depends not on whether the world will support It but on whether It will serve the world and save It Every mind has Its choice between truth and repose Take wnicn you please you can nover have both. Emerson. Compound Interest cornea to life -when the body feel9 the delicious glow of health, vigor nnd energy. That Certain Sense of vigor in the brain and easy poise of the nerves comes, when the improper foods art cut out and predigested GrapeNuts Nake their place. If it has taken you years to run down don't expect one mouthful of this great food to bring you back (for it Is not n stimulant but n ' rcbuildcr.) Ten days big results to it. trial shows such tha one Btickt "There's a Reason" Get the little book, Road to Wellville," in "The pkgs. POSTUH OKRKAL CO., LTD., BmUla CiMk. Utah. 5.