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A BATH-TUB JOKE.
Clean and (iwot from head to'feot la Jerry, but not his twin. "Now for tho othorl" says merry mother. And quickly 'dips, him In. Jim and Jerry, with lips of cherry', And oyes of tho sclrsamo blun; Twins to a speckle, yos, even a freckle Too Much Peter Time shall ho. I aflHHKsVBXHMnMHBHHM kLJg ybx WILBUR. DKEPBTT 9 FIRBf TROUSERS. Llltlo pi)itvt littl man,, vi i With your llttlo trousers blue, I wish that I were happy, Mr little man, Ilka you. Is therp ever nnythlng In life , That Riven such nloasuros trtin (An tho flrnt pair of trousers, ! Ho stunning and no now! J.lttlcjminn, llttlo tnnn. You with sturdy atrlito nml bol Pray, have you seen my hohr boy? Ho putted tills -way, I'm told, mi Ills Utile dross I fresh and white,. His clustering curls nro gold He's naught olsa but a baby, For he's but threo years old!' 1 !rJttto man, llttlo man. . Why can It really beT ' iWhcn I auk If yott'vo seen him,- You say that you are hot You with your stride and trousers, And made pnakots thrqo,! Tls qulto hard io IioIIovp It. , You look so atranKO to Ino. -I.lfo. DEVICE TO HELP SWIMMERS New York Man Deilgned Appliance Which Makes Wearer Web-Footed and Aids Stroke. Whllo It does not follow that evory possessor of a pnlr df big feet will nmko a good uwimmor, thoro Is un doubtedly an advantage In having a largo Burfaco to kick with. Witness tbo pedal nrchltecturo of ft frog, which amphibian Is genorally ac- Device to Aid Swimmers.' Imowlcdgod to bo a tnotlol for pupils of natation, Working on this prin ciple a Now' York mnn has doalgncd n swimming nppllanco which makoB tho woaror wobfootod aud adds much to the power of tho stroke Tho do vice consists of a sorlos of ribs with h membrane strctchod over thorn, forming a sort of tin. This "fin" straps around the ankle and is at tached to a sandaMIke footplece con slstlng of a sole wifli heel and too pieces. With one of those rigged on each' foot .the Bwlmmcr will bo sur prised at tha progrosa be can make, the fln folding up on tho forward mo tion eo as not to Impcdo It. AMUSING GAME FOR PARLOR Considerable Skill of Manipulation ' Required to Keep Balls From Running Off Band. Tho Illustration glvon herewith Bhows a parlor gnmo, tho require tnonts of which aro a dot of balls, a floxtblo band .proved with a pocket A Parlor Game. I . . near the lower end, and a clamp standard. Tho standard Is damped to on end or tbo table, and tho band 4b attached to It and extondod over tho table surface to the other end, jwhero It Is held by tho player. Tho .game .consists df rolling tho balls down tho band Into tho pocket.' Con siderable skill of manipulation Is Vo qulred to ltoop the balls from run- MlllS Ull W1U UHIIU. Unique Little House. " III 80in0r30t StrOOt of Boston u n queer llttlo houHo that looks as It It mlghjt havo boon, normal In ulzo at one time, but got squeezed together by ttlowo big buildings that press against, it on either Bide. This odd building, which Is only four foot wldo ut tho front, Is said to bo tho narrow ost hOiisu In "Boston, It Is four stories high and' Bhapod Ilka a wodgo. tho front bolng Just wldo onough to por mlt of a door and casing of usual also, and tho roar being ten foot In width. Each floor boa an old-fashioned front, window, directly ovor tho door, and each window, which roaches almost from floor to colling, Is supplied with t batcony. Over tho top balcony Is n sloping roof, or aWnlng. Tho queer Htruoturo Is tuadci ef wood and Ib ,wedgod between brick buildings. Each floor has two roomo a falr-alied back bodrotom and a front room ton foot .dcop and, less than flvo foot wldo at ll'a widest part. A narrow stairway al most llko a add(?r loadfi from floor to tfoor. Tho building llllf) a spaco that wnk the termination of an alloy years lago. J Couldn't Be the Candy. "Oh dearl" moaned small Tommy, Tvo got nuch a dreadful toothache" "No wondor," replied hte mothor, 'you aro all tho tlmo eating cnady." "It caa't bo tout, mamma," Bald Tom 75 "I oat candy with Hit my teeth. umI only ono of them rchm" What can a mother dot ' They wink and wrlgglo and laugh and giggle A Joko on mother Is nice! "Wo played ,i Joko" 'twas Jlmmle who SPOKO, 'And you'vo washed tho tamo boy twlcel" Dy Anna B. Bryant. YOUTH OF THE PRESENT AGE Ingenious Method of Merchant In Se lecting Office BoyOne Wasted Valuable Time. "Wanted. A brlitht boy to boeln at tho bottom of tho laddor In my ofTlco and gradually work un by his own con- sclent Ioub. efforts until I can take him Into pnrtnorshlp and marry him to my only daughter. Call at 9402 WcBt Fourteenth nnd a Half Btreot." Mr. Qotrox Bai In his ofllco Impa tiently awaiting tho answers to his ad. which ho know would como. In a fow minutes, ono after another. a largo number of lads filed In, some or thorn breathless from running, having rend their morning papers a llttlo late. Mr. Qotrox looked them over quickly with hts coglo oyo and dismissed all but two. "Now, boyB," ho said, after ho had talked with thnm a bit, "I llko tho looks of you both. and will omploy tho ono who does at uiropio thing tho best." (Ho Bhould havo said "bottor, Inasmuch as thoro woro only two boys, but ho was not that sort of a man during buslnoss nourn.) "Here are two nackacos. lust niikn. which havo bcon delivered here," ho said. ''John'' addrosslnK tho Bad- oyed, dreamy youth, "lot mo sco you open this parcel." Then John winked at hlmnolf nnd said In his honrt: "This is Indeed a snap. How glad'I am that I am upon or on to this llttlo scheme." And with groat caro and patlonco ho tugged and picKcu nt tho bard knots, and nfter long effort took tho cord oft In ono piece, wound It Into n noat coll. caro- fully folded up tho coarao wrapping pa per and Btoppod back, trying hard to conceal tho triumph In his eyes. Mr. Qotrox tnado no ronlv. oxcont: "Now, Sam, It Is your turn." Poor Samt IIo had novor hmi nnv advantages to sneak of. ai ha had boon obliged to IiubUo a good deal all or hla mo and had novor road any stories of good boVB who had become great Ho whlunod out his lackknifn. odt tho cord In four places qulckor tnan a wink and kicked tho wrapping paper Into tho corner. "You're tho boy for mo." shouted Mr. Qotrox, "and you tnny go to work at onco. John," ho said, "you aro a good boy, but you should havo lived In 1817. You aro not In It this vcar. "Wo do not care nowadnys to waste six Cents worth or tlmo to snvo 1 cents' worth or papor Mid twlno." HE'S NOT SO GENEROUS. Aunt And you won't glvo me a ktasT Your slstor gave mo throo. "Ahl Sho kisses for nothing." ' A Hungry Walrus. Aftor Italnwhlt haB eaten 400 clams and twenty-Ilvo codllsh without any salt ho Is still hungry. Ho Is fod onco n day and might bo fed oftenor, If hla meals did not cost so much. Ho la the finest walrus In tho country, thoy say In tbo Bronx park too in Now Yprk, whoro ho has been living for tho past month. Two arctic oxplorors broughl him down from tho north and gave him to tho park, but tho gift might riot .havo been accepted so read ily It the keepers had known bow muoh the wAlrus would oat, It takos two men two hours a day tq got din ner for Ualnwhlt, but the good feed ing Booms to bo worth whllo. Italn whlt has gained twenty-eight pounds la weight since he came to Now York. INCREASES THE EGG YIELD Mash Diet Made Up Solely With Corn meal Mixed With Warm Milk Gives Excellent Results. A mash diet made UD solely of corn meal mixed with warm milk was fed to a pon of layers, mostly Leghorns, With tho following- result! Viral romarkablo increoso In their oggyiold; second, an Incroaso in their weight: third, froquont nnd suddon deaths from nnooloxy. Tbeso results wero duo to the high rattening rood glvon, and proved con Leghorn Cockerel. cluslvoly tho grave danger encoun. tercd by adopting such' a system of M . loeamg. A meal mash In tho mornlner and wholo or cracked corn at noon and night brought about tho samo results. Thoso experiments worn tried dnr. Ing tho spring months before tho fowls naa access to yards.or frco rango. Later In tho season when on frco rango tho samo rations worn fed wlfh tho Bamo result, but attended with fowor deaths. Thero Is danger In feeding tho flock too highly, or, In other words, upon food too rich rn blood and fat-making ingredients. Tho first ahlpraont of Leghorn fowls to America from Leghorn, Italy, was in tho year 1834. Tho varloty im mediately bocamo popular from Its prollllo laying and non-sitting quail ties, holding tho samo placo among poultry that tho Jersey holds among cattlo. Leghorns aro excellent for agers, of lively, active, rostless dispo sitions nnd will pick up a good pnrt of their UvJng, thriving, best whon al lowed a wide rango. VALUE OF POULTRY MANURE Excellent for Corn on Account of Large Percentage of Available Nitrogen It Possesses. Poultry manure has twlco tho value of horso or cow manure It Is espe cially valuablo for corn soil, Blnco It possesses a largo por cent, of availa ble nitrogen, tho olomont required In greatest quantities. It ils a good ma nure for hotbeds. But this manure must not bo applied to growing plants; it will injuro thorn. It muBt bo worked Into tho soil boforo plant ing. , If poultry manure can bo obtained In abundanco it will bo a temptation to load It on a manure spreader and haul It to tho Hold. But no manure spreader can handlo It Euccesatully unless it is mlxod with coarao cow or horso manure. It is better to follow tho old "armstrong" mothod apply It by Bhovellng from the ordinary wagon. .This gives you the advantago of con trolling tho thickness of application. The Hold Bhould not bo plowed vory dooply aftor tho manure Is applied, It would bo much hotter to harrow it lty but a shallow plowing la satisfac tory. Many piles of hen manuro aro al lowed to go to wasto on tho farm be cause tho results from Its application were not satisfactory. If applied ac cording to thcao Instructions, bearing In mind that It Is rich in nitrogen, tho increased production will bo grati fying. Largo flaked bran Is tho best. Millet seed contains considerable flesh forming substance. Common flold peas make an excel lent egg producing food. According to tho food la tho honlth and prosperity of tho hen. Meat Bcrapa should 'bo kopt In a cool placo to avoid heating. White middlings contain moro nut riment than tho brown kind. It is claimed that carrots Improve tho color of tho yolk of tho egg. Barley Bhould bo fed only occasion ally as It la a hard grain to digest. Tho twot chief lossos In Betting hens aro Hco and Interference of othor hens. Early hatching has been a great factor In tho production of winter-laying strains, It Is an easy matter to overfeed fowls, and poultrymen should bear this in mind. In order to manufacture eggs It Is necessary for a hen to bo supplied with tho pvoper material. To make sure that fowls have onough grit It Bhould bo kept where they can help therasolvos at will. By JEANNE Kato Allen bent her curly dark bead to peep In. at her baking bread. Then Bho gave tho oven door a llttlo slam and wont to hor potato paring. . On a Bldo tablo In tbo Immaculato kitchen stood a chocolato plo, fresh salad dressing, peach preserves and othor ovldonccs of approaching din ner, Mary Sweet was perched on a corner of the cablnot. "Kato-" sho ventured, "why tho rath- r becoming frown and tho banging f oven doors? I thought you enjoy- od full swing during cook's vacation?" . Kato only wiped her hands and be 'gan to beat eggs for a cako. Mary's teasing drawl continued. "Well, nt least toll mo what and who Ib for dinner? I want to decide whether to havo a pressing engage ment at home, or to floh for an Invi tation to stay hero." "It will bo commonplace," snapped Kate. "Portcrhouso and potatoes, salad, spongo cako and poaches uso your eyoB and Poterl You'd think Peter Ford was dally bread In this family! Mary, you havo not seen enough of him to bo wearied; ho has nil tho virtues, health, good looks, money couldn't you take him off tho family hands?" "Thanks,"1 said Mary. "But I wouldn't rob Elizabeth. He hung over her at tho play last night llko tho sword of Damoclos. Sho woro a bunch of vloletB as big as n house and In Januaryl Ho's at least genorous. I thought It was" "Settled? No tolling! Suppose Ellzaboth should refuse him? I'm noxt In age also last. If something Isn't dono he'll como straight along tho lino to me and bo slain, It would bo no compliment simply a habit of proposing to an Allen girl. I wlsb thoro wnB a man In this family to consult with!" "Idiot meaning Potor, of courso! "continued Kato. "He nearly lost his mind, two yoars ago whon John Hay ncs camo along just In tlmo to snvo Dolly from becoming Mrs. Peter. It was horrid of Dolly but I don't blamo her, Poter suffered horribly until, during, and for soveral minutes after, her wedding. Then mother nnd Cro- sldn petted and consoled him nnd a few months lntor ho And Creslda went for a walk and camo back engaged. The poor girl would choko with Joal ous rngo for months aftorwnrd every- tlmo Dolly's name was spoken. It would seem that Dolly, wlckod en chantress, had snared, lured and ill treated doar Poter, dismissing hint' through wanton coquetry! And all tho tlmo ho hud really, you know, loved Croslda." u Kato gavo hor ringing little laugh, her dark oyoa bright. Sho pulled out tho fragrant bread, thon went on with hor tirade, Mary listening. "Well, you and tho world know thnt Creslda begun her trousseau, and nil might havo bcon woll. But Potor wanted to bo rid of Elizabeth, who was hor adoring shadow, so ho Im ported a friend, Honry Dawson. Hen ry foil In love but not with Eliza beth. Without any frills or warnings ho nnd Creslda eloped and woro mar ried. It was a shock to society and to Poter. I havo warned mother about lotting Elizabeth consplo him, but mother ndoros him and Is blind as a bat. I wish Jerry Grayson vero not at college. Woll, I must say Peter has mado himself almost indispensable about tho house thero Booms no di viding line. But It's bound to Btop somowhoro." "Why doesn't your mother keop him In bounds?" asked Mary, Bllpplng to tho floor- and folding hor work. "Mother? Sho'a hypnotized. Ho works her ovory hour of hor llfo. I'vo dono complaining to her. Mary, which would you think was worse, to havo pooplo say that in time 'Ono of thoso Allen girls' will capture him, or that sooner or lntor ho will capturo ono of tho Alton girls? Small choice! I know ono thing I'm tired of seeing him under tho family feet and It does mo good to sputtor about it!" Mary stood with a gleam of pain and of malice in hor long, gray eyes. Sho was llttlo and vory, very pretty and falr-halred. Sho twisted hor dol ly Into a tight boll as sho propared to go. "I think I won't stay 1 hato your Potor Ford! But I must say I don't blamo him about Dolly and GrcBlda a Btono imago would fall In lovo with them and aftorwords wondor why. Thoy had a caso of Poter as they'd havo measlos! I've watched him and ho has sound, solid sonso nnd a sound heart, too. It Is not your mother who is blind It Is Potor and you, Kathorlno Allen I We'll boo how long It takeB you to wake up goodness! lit go ucroro a glance slays mol" She slipped out nt tho back door. Kato Btood staring aftor hor, hor ollvo cheok aflame, her eyes bright and angry, Thon sho atartod at sound of a languid volco behind her. "Something Is burning cako, I should Judge cako malodorously charged with tho abomination vanil la," remarked Poter Ford from tho door of tho dining-room whoro he Btood, coat still on, fur cap in hand. "I rocommend rescuing tho cake, my child. Don't mind Mary's malico but sho Is no fool. Her main trouble, In fact, la seeing too much." Kate turned from saving tho caae nnnVHomethintr in hor faco warned him to silence. Then while be prodded O. LOIZEAUX tho potato with a fork ho ventured purely Impersonal Information. "Ellzaboth deserted mo. Tho Gray- sons in full pnek were out on the IcO. Jerry Is homo fired from col logo somo fresh prank. Sho went to dinner with them said I was to toll you and attend to my own wolcomo, I boo food nnd a lady cook but appar ently no. wolcomo! Wrath Bits upon tho cook's brow." Kato still Ignored him, her faco burning, and flow about at hor work. Tall, fair, screno, Potor Ford loaned In tho doorway and regnrded her with a wistful look in his blue eyes. At thla sho whirled about, gave Ulm n contemptuous look nnd spread out a thick, juicy-looking steak ready to bo broiled. "I wish it wero tho right kind to pound," sho said. "I'd lovo to pound something just now. I Do go away and amuso yourself. Mother will doubt less bo lovely to you I won't" "No, you never havo been. It docs no good to try to pleaso you hero I am, lovable, sympathetic, ready to holp am not n kind word coming my way in threo years 1 Katherlne, hon estly now, why is it you hato mo so?" "I havo to stem alono tho sickening tldo of adoration that sets toward you In this senseless family. Potor Ford! I'm only thankful tonight that I havo not been cooking a dinner to celebrate another of your Allen engagomonts. Now that Jerry has returned and Eliz abeth hao escaped suppose you vary tho program? Break tho Allen spell' onco for all and mako lovo to Mary Sweot. I know you havo to make lovo, Just as you havo to breathe. Mother will bo Inconsolable but con sider my rellof. Am I novor to bo regarded? Can't you seo I suffer from too much Potor? You aro vory nice but there's too much of you, somehow, Mary "Mary?" Peter flung off his coat pushed back his cuffs and donnod a big apron from tho drawer, with his maddening manner of being at homo. "Mary I" Ho ruminated. "Aro you fair to Mary? Sho hates tho Bight of mo, dotoa on my vory absence and thon I " .ho paused to try tho pota toes again and lit tho gas under the broiling oven. "I would 'Dote on your absonco' If I over had a chance," began Kato politely, but her" oyo' not his cloar gazo and foil, in spito of ber.iln sheer contusion. Mary 'a words, which bo, must havo ovorhcard, mado her self-conscious, angry, ashamed. To rollovo her em barrassment she seized a towel and .took from him tho steaming kettle of potatoes, meaning to drain off tho wa ter. Sho reached tho sink, glad her back was turned to this disturbing porson, but just as sho tipped tho ket tle Its lid slipped In her nervous grasp. Tho boiling liquid splashed ovor hor loft hand. Sho gavo a Mlttle cry and would bnvo dropped tho kottlo savo that Po ter with a stop was bosldo her and had put It on tho floor. He flung hla arm about hor, lifting her bodily to tho Bhelvcs. Ho snatched a towel, hold It beneath hor hand and reck lessly deluged tho smarting Angers with salad oil. '"Thoro I Poor, llttlo paw! That will shut out tho air and if It hurts after dinner we'll call the doctor to dross It. Does It smart, dear?" Ho talked soothingly on, hla arm again about her. But this was tho last atraw to tho girl's burdon of Irri tation and trouble And Mary Sweot had made her conscious of a now, dis turbing thing within, tfot trying to escape from his hold, Kato loaned against Poter Ford and began silent ly to cry. ThuB It happened that Poter, for fur ther consolation, turned tho curly brown bond to rest against his shoul der and murmurod lovo nnd comfort as to a child. Of courso ho had al ways loved Kato. Hadn't sho seon it? Ho had known It ovon beforo Mary Sweet's hints? Elizabeth know It ho had told her. He was afraid of his llttlo Kato, eho had bo avoided him, taunted anl haunted him. Didn't sho lovo him? Couldn't bIio? Kato nodded her head and ho un derstood. Sho know now what tho Bwcet trouble had beon. And ho ex plained how his feollng for tbo othor girls Was only a allly boy-fasclnatlon not roal love, of course. It was qulto tlmo for Mrs. Allen to grow hungry and como tosoo about dinner. Peter opened hla mouth to oxplaln again. But that lady laugh ed, n ringing laugh llko Kato's own. "Never mind," she Bald. "Don't bother now. I alwuys know you would both como to your senses somo tlmo, you silly children! If I hadn't known moro than yon, Poter Ford. I should novor havo let you philander about In my family bo long." Sho promptly seized upon tho pota toes, chopped them and added onions and flnnlly served them Lyonnalse In stead of mashed. Thus lovo rear ranges matters oven menus. And Peter enthroned Kato on a chair whero ho could Beo hor whllo he broiled tho steak. When Dolly and Croslda and Eliza beth heard of it they remarked: "Why, of courso I Of courso! What could you expect?" And thon they laughed". And Poter nnd Kato con tinued to bo very dignified and re mote and misunderstood. no morej I dono bcon readln' whah do flood ibooH say ' . 1 TImn n M 1 1 n nn mn Torday. termorrer nr ylstohday Time shllt bo no mo'. I Oln't firtvlnn nfnhf nn T nln Mwlnn ...ill. Do shade won' move from do place I sit; uojr cmn- doss mo wnon I res' a Dlt m. .... . . a una sum oe no mo-. O. 'Whlto Man, sen' dm clock han's roun a pin wncn nil as whistles soun", En drive mo hyuh en drive mo dah. En Item ma htlnMIn nnnli m.Mi But da pood book hit say no nmoiHiim Co no mo". I won' bo wakln' tcr de 'lahm-clocu banff Time shlll bo no mo. I won' be sweatln' in do shovel (Tang Time shlll bo no mo'. I won bo Wayln' fo' do res' nt nnnn. Nor axln' night fo ter come Montr soon xjui i n aes lay 'round cn I'll sing dls cnune: Tlmo shlll bo no mo'. O. Whlto Mnn. cuss mo all yo' plensa En dock mo when I stop tor, sneeze! To' run dls worl". nn fuss en ve Yo" caln blow whistles In do nox'! . io In de ftood book hit say so Mimo shlll bo no mo , 8he Took tho Commission. "We offfir smnrm mwnri tnr capturo of tho criminal." anv thn mi. thorltlea to Mrs. Hnrlnnk atinmna thn famous fomalo detective, whoso adroit 'noss and acumen havo mado her tho marvel of tho civilized world. " "Pardon'mo. gentlemen." ronlled thn groat lady detective, "but;' oven such a reward as that cloos not Interest mo;" Thn cnmmtllnfl tlirnn nnrnvLlhlmnni. oned, when one of Us mombers Iiob a happy thought. Bidding his Toilows wan a momont no roturns and says: "On second thoutrht. madnm wn havo decided to offer, for Mondav nniv a reward of $9,099.99." It Is Interesting to nntn timt nn h following Monday Mrs. Shomos brought tho fugltlvo to tho lockup. Needs Must. "My doar." nald tho wlfo nf th hardworking humorist, looking, over the bunch or manuscrlnt ho hna turn. ed out during tho morning, "I notlco .that you havo written qulto a largo numbor of Jokes about thn spring bon net. Don't you think you havo dono enough on that subject?" My lOVO." reSDOndcd thn hnrAwlr. Ing humorist, without looking 11 n frnm tho paper on which ho was at that momont arranging a bonnet con mot, "Ito got to do ten moro of these things before I'vo got onough, of them to pay for that bonnet you'vo sot your honrt on, so don't crltlclso mo, please. I haven't klckod on tho bonnot." 1 Tho Winner. "Thoy say Thlnkltt Is maklni? nmn hand oyor fist with hla correspondence Hchool," romarka the man with ih misfit ears. "I should say ho is." nnnwni-u tha man with tho uncortnln whtntrn.n "That man Thlnkltt stumbled onto tha oest moa ror a correspondence school that anybody ovor heard of." "What wan It?" "Ho advertises: "Lfarn xrn How to Run tho Best Paying Business in tho Country. Ten Easy Lessons Fully Instruct You How tn nnA.. Corrospondonco School of .Any Kind." Kind Offer. 'My wife." savn thn n wants mo to get ono of thcao sway backed overcoats, I don't know what tho technical namo Is for them, but I ohu uku mat now ono of yours which has VL Wfllaf linn A! si skirts. Sho thinks they're flno." q-. T I . 8 th0 Becond 1,,an aay, i got mlno to ploaso my wifn but I'll-tell you what I'll do. I'll Z v0 you mlno." mo Exposed. "no la a most mnnUn..!. .. ,, -.w.u.uvjtmu man. , comments the friend. 1 in what way?" asks tho doubter, ' IIO Is nlwnvn vn .... . IVilJ wuoim oi wnat ho says or does; ovldentty ho Is al-' ''Bosh! Ho Is always thinking of What others will think of him. Thafa ......w v,.u uiunui wim mm.