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V r r ' ' The Magto Glasses. Tho flrst floldglass brought to tho Now Hebrides 6oroly puzzled tho elm plo minded natives, who, of coarse, thought thorn tho product of wizardry. In "Islands of Enchantment" Florence Coombs tolls how ono of tho mission clergy was walking along tho shore, when a natlvo at his sldo pointed out a tiny flguro In tho distance. "There goes ono of my enemies," Bald be. Tho whlto man, drawing out nta flcld glasscs and adjusting the focus, hand ed them po ids companion, who, gazing through tbcm In excited amazement, beheld his foo apparently closo at hand. Dropping tho glasses, ho seized his arrows and looked again. Tho ene my was as far away as at first Onco mora bo snatched tho magic glasses, onco moro exchanged them for his ar rows and onco moro was baffled. To loso such nn opportunity was hard In deed. A bright thought suddenly oc curred to him. "You hold tho glasses to my eyes," said ho to tho missionary, "and I can shoot him." Not Pure Parisian. Tho landlord of tho best hotel tn tho email western town was solicitous about tho Impression that his accom modations had made upon tho distin guished visitor. "I think wo set a good table," ho confided to tho departing guest "Too easterners aro awful finicky about your meals, and for a long time wo had difficulty In getting a cook who could do anything more than slam ham and eggs and fried potatoes to gether. Wo have ono of tho best cooks In tho .country now yes, Blr, a regular Parisian chef. Ho worked to a lot of tho best restaurants In Pare told mo so himself." "Do you know this chef? Inquired tho visitor. ' "Certainly!'' "Have you any Influence with hlmf "Naturally." "Do you talk to him often? "Of course." Then tell him for mo that ho cooks with a Canadian accent" Chicago Post Ho Guessed Right This story was told at a prominent club the other day by a man who had met Lord Decles In one of his visits to London. Although Lord Decles is an experienced and traveled man of tho world, ho does not believe In throwing away money in thoso extravagant tips that characterizo Americans and that are very often mistaken generosity. The Englishman also is qulto able to tafco his own part If his rcasonablo tips aro taken unreasonably, as was evi denced ono day when ho had takon a cab to tho club. When he alighted and paid tho driver cabby Boemod to think his tip was too smalL "Woes this ero for, my lordr said tho cabby, regarding with somo con tempt the coin ho held in his band. "Drink, I should be Inclined to think. Judging by your nose," was the pollto and effective reply of Lord Decles as be vanished into tho club. Now York Herald- Five Dollar Cigars. Who smokes the most expensive ci gars? One would say offhand in ro ply to such a question American mil lionaires. According to the Munich News, this Is incorrect Tho best ci gars are' smoked In Heidelberg. A Havana manufacturer says that the fabrication of five dollar cigars la only sufficient to meet tho demands of the famous Gorman university town. Tho manufacturer has explained that theso cigars ore not of the ordinary slzo. They are Just half a meter in length. Tho students meet for a smoker, and tho cigar Is placed in a narglle, and tho tube is passed from hand to hand, or, rather, from mouth to mouth. The Munich News concludes that peoplo who give themselves up to the luxury of a five dollar cigar nre on tho down ward grade. Petroleum Has Been Long Known. Tho petroleum industry, which has made such great advances durlug tho last fifty years, deals with a product which has been known in other lands from earliest days. In Clilna It was used long before history was flrst writ ten. Tho famous petroleum springs, near Baku, on tho western shore of tho Caspian sea, have been known from tho earliest times. Antiquarians say that Pliny and nerodotus each know or had heard of p6troleum. New York Sun. Gives Him Away. Bllkins was sneaking Into the houso In his stocking feet at 2 o'clock a. m. Tho stairs creaked ns ho ascended to his room. "Is that you, William?" Mrs. Bllkins called. "No, dear," Bllkins replied, "It's tho stairs." Seattle Times. Perturbed. "Don't you want to leavo any foot prints In the sands of tlmo?" "I don't know," replied Senator Sor ghum. "There's so much sleuthing go , lng on that a man gets shy of a thumb ' print a footprint and oven of leave to print" Washington Star. The Test of Society. "Pa, how can you tell whether n man Is In society or not?" "Tho man who Is not in society, my son, Is trying' to got known, and the man who Is In is trying not to." Satire. Politeness With a Purpose. "The doctor is such a pollto man. He always sees hl3 patients out right to the door." "Yes; ho once had a mag nificent fur coat stolen r London Opinion. f i La Fontaine used to denoanco tho Btago "asldo" as utterly inartistic and Inadmissible. In "Jean do la Fon taine" Frank Qamcl tons of an oat burst before MoUerc, Gncino and Boll can. "Nothing," said Ln EVantnine, "is moro contrary to good eonsow What! Tho pit is supposed to andorstnnd that which nn actor is not expected to hear, although ho is closo behind tho ono who Is speaking? Absuxdl" As ho grow very warm whUo thus expressing his feelings, and as it was impossible to make him hear a word Bolleau tried to arrest his attention by repenting over and over again in loud tones, "La Fontnino must bo a pretty rascal, a great rogue." Bnt La Fon talno took no notice of all this abuse. At last they all burst out laughing, and this interrupted his train of thought "What aro you laughing at?' bo said. Bolleau replied gravely: "Fancy! I wnsnbusingyou at tho top of my voice and you never heard mo, although I nm near enough to touch you, and you nro astonished that nn actor does not hear an aside that another actor utters on tho boards." The Two Coats Were There. Sometimes tho more you got a negro cornered tho less cornered you have him. This fact, long known to many, was discovered tho other day by n leather man ln tho "swamp," This man suddenly awoke to the fact that certain back walls wore dingy with dirt and decided they'd look much better If whitewashed. So bo summoned his old negro facto tum and told him to get busy with his whttewash brush, giving special direc tions to put two coats on. When tho job apparently had been finished tho leather merchant inspect ed it and found tho whitewash suspi ciously thin looking. Summoning Sambo, ho said as stern ly as he could, "You didn't go over those walls twice as I told you to," "No, sir," was the quick reply. "I nin't gone over twice, but I done put two coats in do pall, sir two coats in do pall." New York Mall. She Was So Sure. A woman who may bo called Mrs. Smith placed her umbrella against tho counter at which she was making somo purchases In a department store tho other day and when she finished pick ed It up and started away. At least that was the way it ran through her mind. "Pardon me, said a Btrange woman, "but you have my umbrella." "Oh, no," said Mrs. Smith; "thnt rs my umbrella." "Pardon me again," insisted the etrange-woman, "but It is mine." "I guess I know my umbrella," said Mrs. Smith, beginning to show fight "If you havo lost your umbrella I am sorry, but I can't give you mine." "Did you carry two umbrellas when you left nomoV asked tho stranger. Then Mrs. Smith discovered that she had an Umbrella ln each hand, and she surrendered. Cleveland Press. Food Tosters at Feasts. The sixteenth century feast was a round of precautions. Tho tablo laid, the pantler at onco tasted tho bread and salt as a preliminary "feeler." Then my lord washed In water tested for poison and dried with a towel al ready kissed as a like precaution, this tho whllo each dish of the flrst course, then on tho dresser, was being tasted by tho stewards and cooks under the direction of tho sewer. Tho dishes then came to tho high table, and "as saye" was taken by the carver and tho sewer himself. -Nothing was left to chance. Pieces were chipped from each loaf and corners from all meats. Pies wcro broken open and "cornets" of bread dipped Into several places and swallowed by tho tasters. Granted the well being of theso tasters, tho feast could then proceed. London Chronicle. Bell Ringing Is an Art. "Bell ringing is a science," said a master of tho art. "It is called cam panology, and there are abstruse and technical terms In It, liko 'Kent treblo bob,' 'Stodmau cinques,' 'double court bob,' 'dodges,' 'noils and 'stlngoea.' Each of these terms defines a certain phaso or kind of bell ringing. In Eng land there Is a society, the Central Council of Bell IUugcrs, that every campanologist desires nrdently to bo long to. Maybe you think bell ringing Is simple? Do you know what a peal is? A peal ln ringers' parlanco is a Bcries of 5,000 changes rung upon a chime, no chango occurring moro than once." Easily Arranged. "It seems to me," ho complained, "that you think entirely too much of your clothes." "Oh, no, I don't, dear!" sbo hastily replied. "I don't really think anything of them. Can't you get somo extra work to do or inanago ln somo way to Increase your income so that I can have something now?" Chicago Record-Herald. Oh, Splash! My sister writes from abroad that her husband fell four stories' out of a hotel window." "Mercy! You take it very calmly." "Ob, ho wasn't hurt! You sco, it wns in, Venice, and ho could swim." Bos ton Transcript. Defending Him. Agnes AncLdld he say I looked Intel' lectual? Gladys Oh, no, indeed! I assure you ho said nothing disparag ing. Life. The noontide sun is dark and music discord when the heart is low. Young. A 8tdry of La Fontaine. Short Orders a Drop in the next time and have a trial of the most up-to-date place in the city OPEN AJjIj NIGOBlT. Opposite Depot r Union Realty and Investment Company., Paid up Capital $50,000. Surplus 50,000.00. -OFFICERS AND T. C. PATTERSON, President, B. BUCHANAN, Sec'y and Troas. First Mortgages on Real Estate Bought, Sold and Negotiated. This company is prepared to loan money of investors on first mort gages on real estate, amply secured and drawing eight per cent semi annual Interest. Money so invested will be exempt from taxation. fBrnmrnHmmmmmmammmmmmmmammmmmmmmmmmmm THE JUNE BRIDE What ShallQthe Wedding Presents Be? 1 A Monarch Malleable Range is the ideal present It is a practical present and one that will stand more usemnd even abuse than any other article of house furnishing. It is not easily broken, never goes "out of style" and is a source of pleasure and eomfort for years and years to come. The MONARCH might be called a profitable present as it actually saves its first cost in the fuel economy which it make3 possible. There is nothing that is more conductive to ajhappy home life than a MONARCH MALLEABLE RANGER SS3 1331013 lstactory Kango. It's economy. The MONARCH is economical in many ways. It saves money, time, labor. Its polished top saves tho housewife from the dreaded task of blacking a stove. No smutty hands no soiled aprons and dresses no black bottoms of pots and pans with a MONARCH in the kitchen. Call and see it and you will realize why we heartily recommend it as a most suitable present to the June bride. , , , JOS. HERSHEY, Phone No. 15. Cor. 5th and Locust Streets. flSsBRuf' JBHKSHBLl Mm jIPSHko She will not bum the toast, and she will not burn her fingers either, if she uses the New Perfection Toaster. For toast or roast1 For boil or broil For fry or bake Every dealer has it. Handsomely finished in nickel, with cabinet topf drop shelves, towel racks, etc Long chimneys, enameled turquoise-blue. Made with 1 , 2 and 3 burners. Free Cook-Book with every stove. Cook-Book also given to anyone sending 5 cents to cover mailing cost, STANDARD NEBRASKA Specialty With Us. PALACE CAFE DIRCCTORS- it s construction is such that every ounce of fuel does its full duty there is no wastewith the MONARCH. Stove putty, that substance used in cheap ranges to stop up the cracks, is not to be found in the MONARCH. By its uso a range can be cheaply put together and look well but "beauty is but skin deep." Stoye putty is not used in the MONARCH as there are no cracks to fill. The MONARCH is sub stantially constructed in every way. It not only pleases at first, but con tinues to please for many years. That's why it is called the "Stay Sat- The New L Perfection Toaster Anvone, even a little girl, can make toast on the Nsw UPerf&ction Oil Cook-stove there is no other ctove that is as quick and as handy as the New Perfection Oil Cook-stove the convenient stove for all purposes, all the year round. OIL COMPANY Oataba The Maglo Glasses. Tho flrst flcldglnss brought to tho Now Hebrides sorely puzzled tho sim ple minded natives, who, of course, thought them tho product of wizardry, in "Islands of Enchantment" Floronco Coombs tells how ono of tho mission clorgy wns walking along tho shore, when n natlvo at his sldo pointed out a tiny flguro In tho distance. "Thcro goes ono of my enemies," said ho. Tho whlto man, drawing out his flold glasses and adjusting tho focus, hand ed them to his companion, who, gazing through them In excited amazomont, behold his foo npparonUy closo at hand. Dropping tho glasses, ho seized his arrows and looked again. Tho ene my was asifar away as at flrst Onco moro ho snatched tho magic glasses, onco moro exchanged them for his ar rows and onco moro was baffled. To loso such nn opportunity was hard in deed. A bright thought suddenly oc Itirred to him. , "You hold tho glasses to my eyes," aid ho to tho missionary, "and I can shoot him." Not Pure Parisian. Tho landlord of tho best hotol ln tho Bmall western town waa solicitous about tho Impression that his accom modations had mndo upon tho distin guished visitor. "I think wo set a good tablo," ho confided to tho departlug guest "You easterners aro awful finicky about your meals, and for a long tlmo wo had difficulty In getting a cook who could do anything moro than elam ham nnd eggs and fried potatoes to gether. Wo hnvo ono of tho best cooks hi tho country now yes, sir, a regular Parisian chef. Ho worked in a lot of tho best restaurants ln Tareo told mo bo himself." "Do you know this chef?" Inquired tho visitor. "Ccrtalnlyi" "Ilavo ybu any tnflnonco with him?' "Naturally." '"Do you tall: to him often V "Of COUTOO." "Then toll him for mo that ho cooks with a Canadian accent" Chicago Poet. He Guessed Right This story was told at a prominent club Uie other day by a man who had met Lord Decles ln ono of his visits to London. Although Lord Decles is an cxperlencod and traveled man of tho world, ho docs not bellovo ln throwing nwny money ln thoso extravagant tips thnt characterize Americans and that aro very often mlstakon generosity. Tho Englishman also la qulto ablo to tako his own part if his rcasonablo tips aro taken unreasonably, as was evi denced ono day when ho had taken n cab to tho club. When ho alighted and pnld tho driver cabby seemed to think his Up wns too small. "Wot's this "ero for, my lord?" said Uio cabby, regarding with somo con tempt tho coin ho hold ln his band. "Drink, I should bo inclined to think, judging by your noso," waa tho pollto nnd effective reply of Lord Decles us ho vnnlshed Into tho club. Now York Herald. Five Dollar Cigars. Who smokes tho most expenslvo ci gars? Ono would say offhand ln re ply to such n quosUon American mil lionaires. According to tho Munich News, this Is incorrect Tho best ci gars nro smoked in Heidelberg. A Havana manufacturer says that the fabrication of flvo dollar cigars Is only sufficient to meet the demands of tho famous German university town. Tho manufacturer has explained that theso cigars aro not of tho ordinary slzo. They nro just hnli n meter ln length. Tho students meet for a smoker, and tho cigar is placed ln a nargllo, and Uio tube Is passed from hand to hand, or, rather; from month to mouth. Tho Munich Rows concludes ttiat peoplo who give themselves up to tho luxury of a flvo dollar cigar nro on tho down ward grade. Petroleum Has Been Long Known. Tho petroleum industry, which has mado such groat advances during Uio last fifty years, deals with ft product which hns been known ln other lands from earliest days. In China It was used long beforo history was first writ ten. The famous petroleum springs near Baku, on tho western shore of Uio Caspian sea, havo been known from tho earliest Umes. Antiquarians say that Pliny nnd Herodotus each know or had heard of petroleum. Now York Sun. Gives Him Away. Bllkins was sneaking Into tho houso ln his stocklug feet nt 2 o'clock n. m. Tho stairs crcakoM as ho ascended to Ills room. "Is Uiat you, William?" Mrs. Bllkins called. "No, dear," Bllklus replied, "It's tho etairs."-Seattle Times. Perturbed, "Don't you want to leavo any foot prints In tho sands of tlmo?" "I don't know." replied Senator Sor ghum. "There's f-o much sleuthing go ing on that n mini gets shy of a thumb print n footprint and even of leavo to print" Washington Star. The Teot cf Soolety. "Pa, how can you tell whether a man is ln society or not?" "Tho man who Is not ln Boclety, my son, Is trying to get known, and tho man who la In is trying not to." Satire. Politeness With a Purpose. "Tho doctor Is such a pollto man. Ho always sees his paUents out right to the door." "Yes; bo once had a mag nificent fur coat stolen!" London Opinion, KEITH THEATRE Friday, June 14th America's favorite comedian and opera star Harry Bulger in the 1912 DeLuxe edition "The Flirting Princess." By HOUGH, ADAMS & HOWARD. Complete Production, Company of Fifty-two World's Prettiest Chorus. Order Seats Now- Prices 50c to $1.50 Box $2.00. PURE WATER Frozen from water pumped from a good depth, and tho lake has been re-cemented thus insuring tho best and purest ice possible to obtain. Price 50 Cents Per 100 Lbs. 6 Wo solicit your orders and insure prompt delivery. L. W. EDIS. A. J. AMES. MARIE AMES. g ( Doctors Ames & Ames, (i i) Physicians end Suraeons, jf U Office over Stono Drug Co. ll W Phones I Office 273 g rnones f Re8Wence j g iiswsxxxxaasR'Xnazx: I! 0E0. D. DENT, ; ; Physician and Suraeon, ; Office over McDonald Bank. Phonos Office 130 ' J Phones Residence 115 ;j jf - - m. DR. J. S. TWINEM, HomeopnthlcPhyalclannndSurgcon 0 Special attention civen to conflne m ments and children's diseases, Offlco Phono 183 lies. Phono 283 Ofllco McDonald State Dank Illd'e a 0aasea9aeeSS Di edfield IJBdfiBld, Physlclana'and Surgeons. WILLIS J. ItEf)FlCLrir Surgeon. JOU U. UEDIJIELD, Phy.lclan. OFFICE: Physicians & Surgeons . . Hospital . . PHONE C42. In a letter from Branch land, W. Va., Mrs. Eliza beth Chapman says: "I suffered from womanly troubles nearly five years. All the doctors in the coun ty did me no good. I took Cardul, and now I am en tirely welL I feel like a new woman. Cardui saved my llfel All who suffer from womanly trouble should give Cardui a trial E61 The Woman's Tonic 1 50 years of proof have convinced those who tested it, that Cardui quickly re lieves aches and pains due to womanly weakness, and helps nature to build up weak women to health and strength. Thousands of women have found Cardui to be a real life saver. Why not test It for your case? Take Cardui tod ty!