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The North Platte semi-weekly tribune. (North Platte, Neb.) 1895-1922, May 16, 1913, Image 6

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Semaphore May Be Operated by Use
of Piece of Soft Iron and a Small
Place n small electro-magnet upon a
platform aa shown, says tho Popular
Electricity. After securing the sema
phore arm In place at tho top of the
post, fasten a string to It and pass
Toy Semaphore.
the string through a screw-eye guide.
To tho lower end of the string attach
a piece of soft Iron which should bo
heavy enough no that when current
passes through the electro-magnet tho
soft iron will be pulled down and the
signal arm raised.
Like Host of Other Famous Matrons,
She Sprang Fcom Fertile Brain
of Literary Genius.
Mrs. Grundy Is a comparatively re
cent creation. Liko Mrs. Harris, Mrs.
Gamp, "Mrs. Malaprop, Mrs. Partington,
and a host of other famous matrons,
alio sprang from the fertllo brain of
literary genius.
Thomas Morton, a forgotten London
playwright, Is her authentic sponsor,
and she made her debut on tho boards
of a London theater In 1798, the ve
hicle of her maiden appearance being
a comedy of some theatrical effective
ness entitled "Speed the Plow."
In the play Dame Grundy Is tho
wife of a rich and successful farmer.
Dame Ashfleld, anothor farmer's wife,
for whom she Is tho object of Innocent
envy and idolatrous adoration, can do
nothing but talk of her and quote her
and Invoke her approval on every oc
casion and with reference to every
When she returns from the market
she tells her husband that Mrs. Grun
dy's eggs and cattle are tho best she
has seen there; and when news comes
that their daughter has married a tltlo
she exclaims:
"Our Nellie married to a real baro
net! I wonder, Tummas, what Mrs.
Grundy will Bay?" Her husband be
trays great Irritation at every such
reference, and Anally breaks forth:
"Be quiet, woolyo? Always din, ding
ing Dame Grundy into my ears what
will Mrs. Grundy say? What will
Mrs. Grundy think? Can't thee bo
quiet, let me alone, and behave thyself,
Matty?" But the good dame Is not to
bo silenced.
A Sacred Secret.
The Inspector in an English school
was questioning the small boys.
"Can you take your' warm over
coat off?" he asked.
"Yes, sir," was tho ready response.
"Can the bear take his warm over
coat oft?"
"No, sir."
."Why not?"
There was a perplexed silence.
Then a Httlo'boy spoke up: "Please,
sir, 'cause tho good Lord alone knows
where tho buttons Is." National
r N
i - -
What did Adam first set In the gar
den of Eden?
' His foot.
Why cannot a deaf man be legally
Because it is not lawful to condemn
a man without a hearing.
Why are tho pages of .a book like
tho days of man?
Recauso they are numbered.
How would you speak of a tailor
when you did not remember his name?
As Mr. So-and-So (sow and bow).
Why is a leaf of a trod like tho hu
man body?
I'ecauso it has veins In it.
When aro soldiers like good flan
nels? When they don't shrink.
Why Is a bad picture like weak tea?
Because It Is not well drawn.
Why are two young ladles kissing
each other like an emblem of Chris
tianity? BecauBO thoy aro doing unto each
other as they would men should do
unto them.
Why Is a dressmaker a deceptlvo
Becauso she Is not what sho seams.
Why is a thief called a Jailbird?
Because ho'a been a robin.
When is a blow from a lady rather
Whon she strikes you agreeablv.
Strong and Reiner Reliable Light
Thrown on Subject by Professor
Bailey of Cornell.
Professor Leon II. Bailey of Cor
nell university has been conducting
Botno Inquiries as to why boys leave
tho farm, which throw a strong and
rather reliable light upon this much
discussed question.
Ho addressed a circular lotter to all
Btudonts of Cornell who, ho had rea
son to believe, wero born In tho coun
try. Among tho replies recolvcd woro
155 from persons bred on tho farm,
and planning to leavo It. These assign
ed somo 298 reasons why they wore
leaving tho farm, tho samo being
roughly classjfled as follows:
Question of financial reward 101
Question of physical labor 78
Question of social and intellectual
Ideals , 78
Miscellaneous handicaps 41
Professor Balloy summarizes as fol
io wju
It Is easy to Bay that this finan
cial unsuccess Is duo to poor Individ
ual farming, but It is a question wheth
er a good part Is not duo to causes
that go further and deoper than this.
Farming Is virtually tho only great
scries of occupations that Is unorgan
ized, - unsyndlcated, unmonopolized,
uncontrolled .except as It Is dominated
by natural laws of commerce and tho
arbitrary limitations Imposed by or
ganization In other business.
The replies of these sorlous-mlnded
youths should also sot ovory thought
ful person wondering what Is-to bo
tho placo of tho farmer in the social
scheme of things, and whother tho
present trend is doing him complete
About 17 per cent, of tho roplics
considered that tho farmer has dis
tinct Boclal disabilities.
They suggest tho question as to how
far agriculture Is to depend for its
progress on the efforts of tho Individ
ual farmer.
Children Will Hold It Instead of Toss
ing It Aside, Thereby Getting
Benefit of Hot Water.
Tho New York woman who devised
tho water bottle baby showed keen
InBlght into Juvenile psychology. Inci
dentally sho overcame tho child's nat
ural tendency to toss asido anything
of medicinal purpose Or it may bo
Water Bottle Baby.
wrong to Bay Incidentally, for that
was tho prime motive of the Inven
tion. Any one who has trlod to mako
a child hold a hot water bottle against
It can testify to tho difficulty of tho
task. Tho illustration shows how this
may be done. A doll's head is fasten
ed to the bottom of tho bottle and a
dress allowed to drapo over it In looso
folds. Tho garmentCompletoly con
ceals tho bottle, aod'a child will nurso
the doll and gelall tho benefit to bo
derived from 'tho hot bottle, without
knowing It Is tielng "treated."
Simple andjPractlcal Suggestions for
Youtljfto Follow While on
Hunting Expedition.
Don't pull your gun after you when
you climb;' or crawl through a barb
wire fenjo. Push it through first,
with tho jjhuzzlo away from you.
If youff fall in going down steep
hills orover rough ground don't turn
your gijn loose. Hang on to it; and
keep tho muzzle pointed tho other
way. 0
Dorift shoot even approximately In
tho direction of anyone In tho woods,
as a nianclng bullet may striko them
QultoTa bit to ono side of tho object
at which you aim.
DoS;t forget that tho smaller a rifle
or shotgun tho more steady you must
holdflt when you shoot. It takes a
mlfjnty good shot, to do long-range
shooting with a small target-rifle.
Ijon't pull tho trlggor until you're
sure you know what you aro shooting
atf Quito a numbor of men aro In
tlfelr graves now becauso in a quick
gjance the nervous hunter took them
tCLbo a deer or a wild turkey among
tho bushes.
If you aro In the- woods a long
tlnle, and do a lot of shooting, don't
fail? to glvo your gun one cleaning,
especially If a target-rlllo or pump
gun? It will shoot truer.
For Hoarseness.
Father was examining tho mechan
ism f an auto honker that was out
of order.
"Whatf aro you going to do with
It?" asked Benjamin, aged nlno years.
"I thlnk I'll try pouring a llttlo oil
In It," 'replied tho father.
"QW nothing!" exclaimed Benjamin.
"What that thing needs la cough
- j
ycatorday he won his gamo,
Everybody wildly praised him;
Lovingly thoy spoko his name,
On their shoulders proud men raised
Yoaterduy his curves were great,
Splendid batters full before him;
Alt the town stayed up till late,
Willing, eager to adore him.
lie Is walking from tho field,
Sadly, slowly, unattended;
With his features half concealed,
All his former glory ended,
Ho Is hissed and termed a "mut,"
Ho has lost tho game, confound him!
Yesterday a hero, but.
Bricks today aro falling round htm.
"Oh, I had a beautiful dream last
night," said Mrs. Pockham. "I dream
cd that you had dono something' heroic
for which the people woro all praising
you; but instead of permitting your
self to bo carried away by success you
took mo in your arms, beforo tho mul
titude nnd kissed me, and cried aloud
so all might, hear, that you had had
but ono thought in accomplishing your'
glorious achievement, and that was,
my happiness."
"That was quite a dream." Mr. Peck
ham answered, "but I had a nicer ono.
I dreamed that you and I had started
alono through a great forest,' where
there wero many wild beasts. Wo had
gone for miles into tho depths, I fully
armed and prepared to protect you
with my life. Wo wero like another
Adam and Eve, the only human be
ings there. On and on wo wont, you
clinging to mo and assuring mo of
your faith in mo, until finally "
"Yes, dear," sho urged, when he,
hesitated, "until finally"
"Until finally you lot go of my arm
for a moment and got lost."
As Applied to Family Affairs.
"What," asked tho teacher, "does
anthracite mean?"
"That's a kind of coal," said little
"Yes. Anthraclto coal is what we
call hard coal. So anthraclto must
mean hard. Now can you toll mo what
bituminous means?"
"That'B coal, too," Wllllo roplled.
"But It Isn't tho samo kind of coal
that anthraclto is, is it? Bituminous
coal is what wo commonly refer to as
soft coal. Now, Wllllo, let us ego If
you dan form a sentence containing
tho words anthracite and bituminous."
Wllllo thought tho matter over foi
a minute and then Bald:
"Hero's ono. This morning before
pa Btarted downtown ma wanted $5
for groceries and things, and she tried
to get it by saying bituminous words,
but pa gavo her an anthraclto look,
and when ho disappeared around the
corner sho was weeping bltumlnously."
Their Little Weaknesses.
"Natlona and womon aro a good deal
"In what way?"
"Well, when ono woman gets a now
hat her neighbor wants to go right
away and get a bettor one, and when
ono nation builds a new war ship all
tho others Btart right out to get bigger
Business for Him.
Llttlo Charles Sister told mamma
yesterday you Was born to bo a poli
tician. Mr. Sklmpley A politician? I won'
der why sho thinks so.
Little Charles Sho says you can tic
bo much talkin' without commlttln'
His Old Habits Abandoned.
"It was too bad about Nell Rich
mond's husband dying so suddenly,
wasn't it?'
"Did ho dlo suddenly?"
"Yes; hadn't you hoard about it?"
"No; I thought ho wus from Phil
adelphia." Cornered,
I heard Cordelia sing, last night,
I Heard her sing and play
I heard her do these things because
I couldn't get away.
A . twc-.
Important Chapter in the Hum
Drum Existence of a Young
Being modorntcly nbaont-mltulutl
cast nn Interesting aura about tho
personality of tho now rector, tho Rov.
Archibald Dcmarcst, but when carried
to tho oxtromo this trait had Us draw
backs, nnd thcroby hangs an Import
ant chapter In tho Rev. Archibald's
hum-drum existence Tho fact that
ho ono day forgot to cat his lunch
an lntolllgcnco handed over tho back
fence of tho neat llttlo foctory garden
by his faithful housokeopor Magglo to
Molly tho; StovcnBon's cook, nnd thus
by way of tho Stevenson's drawing
room through tho neighborhood tilled
tho hearts of his fomlnlno parishion
ers with sympathetic concern. Tho
fact that tho cause of tho rector's pro
occupation on this occasion was n
Rood run of trout In tho llttlo hlllsldo
Btream a few miles from tho rectory
would not havo added to- tho glamor
and Mngglo, being a woman of discern
ment, did not mention this fact to
Molly across tho fence.
Ono day, a fresh mild spring day,
the rector did not como In to dinner
till 8 o'clock, and Magglo always had
dinner ready at 6. When sho naked
him why ho was so lato as sho stood
at his side, as he hastily ate his soup,
ho looked up In surpriso at her. Thon
ho drow out his watch and whistled.
"By Jove!" ho exclaimed, "how tho
afternoon flew!" and when Mngglo
waited for an explanation tho roctor
offered nono.
After dlshcB wero washed Magglo
hastened to tho back fonco to tell
Molly, but Molly had Bomothlng to say
-"I don't know what ovor Is getting
Into Miss Hortenso," sho said. "Sho
never camo in to dinner till 8 o'clock,
and wo always' have It at half past six.
And tho funny thing Is that sho didn't
know sho was lato. Sho said Bho had
been walking but sho didn't say who
Magglo looked knowingly at Molly
"I havo susplcloned It nil along," sho
said. "I won't say anything that Isn't
my affairs, but I will say that tho Rev.
Archibald didn't como In himself till 8
nnd whistled when I told him ho wob
two hours late. You can draw your
own conclusions."
Magglo's Busplclon was boforo long
making Its way through tho parish.
Tlioro wns llttlo room for doubt that
Hortense and hor neighbor, tho rector,
were much together, and thoro was no
one In tho parUh who seemed to keep
such a good run of church affairs as
MIbb Hortenso who, until tho now rec
tor had come, had been lukewarm, If
not a posltlvo backslider.
But In nplte of HorlonBe's Interest
and help Archibald grow ovon more
absent-minded." On one occasion ha
rend morning prayor at' Sunday ves
pers, and a weok later ho announced
tho hour of tho ladles' missionary so
ciety as 3 o'clock in tho morning in tho
rector's study. But such Blips could
bo overlooked.
5 It wns three hours beforo vespers
on tho following Sunday afternoon.
Archibald was lazing In IiIb comfort
able llttlo Btudy and Magglo was out
for tho afternoon. A small boy from
tho country enmo breathless to tho
rectory door and between gasps ex
plained: "Mamma sent me for tho doctor and
ho Is away for tho day. Baby's got a
lit and papa has gono up tho river.
But I guess you can help If you hur
ry," Archibald stopped long enough to
reflect that vespers was not till 5 and
that It wbb about 3 o'clock thon, and
that ho could go straight from his
visit to church. He put tho notes for
his nddress In his coat pocket and
with admirable forethought romem
bored a flrst-ald-tp-tho-lnjurcd kit from
his study deskone that ho UBed
when taking his choir boys camping.
Ho did not know much about Ills, but
still he might, need It eo lio put It with
a roll of bandaging nnd a medicine
ease Into a neat black leather bag that
ho used to curry his vcstmontB In to
weddings nnd funerals.
About fifteen minutes later when
Archibald had reached tho small two
room cottage by tho rlvcrsldo about a
mllo from tho rectory ho found a
scono of confusion. Tliero wero four
peevish children, a smoky llro, a tired
worn mother and a vlgoroiiB-Iunged
baby whoso "IUb" proved to bo merely
a case of bad temper. Archibald fixed
tho lire, humored the children, con
soled the mother nnd managed to feed
tho baby somo warm milk. Fifteen
minutes beforo church tlmo ho made u
break to leave. Ho could Imagine
what confusion his absenco from
church would cause, and yet as tho
poor mother begged him tearfully to
stny "Just a while longer," at leaat till
tho baby's father got back from tho
rlvor whoro he was fishing, Archibald
didn't havo tho hart to leave.
Archibald know that It v.s not a
case of llfo and death, hut, still tho
mother's tearH made It Impossible for
him to go. Ho remembered what Hor
tcnao Stevenson had told him tho day
beforo about IiIb duty to tho poor poo.
pie of his parish, and ho had a pleas
ing feeling of doing something of
which she would approve as he decid
ed to stay with the poor woman till
her husband returned. Fortunately
for Archibald tho father did return In
about a hulf an hour, and after n few
words of advice and good cheer and a
little difficulty in collecting his scat
tered belongings, tho young clergy
man hastened toward church.
His lay reader, of course, would
hiive begun the service, and ho would
still bo tftofo in tlmo for tho Address.
Archibald fott nn oxhtlarattng senno of
being nocosaary ns ho hastened to
ward tho church. Ho would slip Into
tho vestry, quickly don his vestments
and slip through tho sldo ontrnnco to
tho chnncol. Tho eyes of his faithful
congrogatlon would be turned toward
him ho know that and of thorn nil
It would bo tho questioning, anxious
eyes of Hortenso that would count.
Thon after oervlco ho would hurry
away from church, nnd not Btay to
answer any of tho curious question
ings ns to whnt had caused hlo delay.
Ho would go back to tho rectory nnd
then nflor supper ho would slip ovor
to Hortenso. Hortenso would bo ex
pecting him, for It was only two days
before that ho had told her of his lovo
for hor, nnd that sho had given him a
properly reticent answer. Ho had
boon allowed to hopo. Archibald cal
eulated tho probable offect that his
story of tho nftornoon's oxportenco
would havo upon hor, Ho would not
mako too much of It that would bo
boastful but when sho asked, ns of
course Bho would, what had detained
him, ho would In an off-hnnd way lot
her know what ho had dono.
Up to tho tlmo of slipping ovor to
Hortenso after suppor things happen
ed as Archibald had expected. In fact
ho found Hortenso dressed In tho soft
pink nnd whlto dross ho liked so woll,
Bitting by a low electrolier reading as
he entered tho drawing room, which
tho rest of tho Stovcnsons had, with
tholr usual constdorntonosB, seen fit to
abandon at tho tlmo for his call.
Archtlmld hurried to her with out
strotched hands, but Hortenso greeted
him with a cool raising of tho oyo
brow that took his breath away. Ho
pulled n chair to tho sldo of tho tablo
whoro sho sat, and waited for her to
say Bomothlng,
"I hardly know whothor to cxpoct
you or not," sho said with n forced
laugh calculated to froczo a much
moro daring heart than that of Archi
bald Domarest.
"Hortonse." said Archibald, fooling
n curlouB ohoklnoss, ns ho drow up to
tho Idol of IiIb dreams. Ho had never
soon hor In this mood, and ho was
quite unprepared for It. "I couldn't
miss this, no matter how busy my day
had boon."
"No?" sold Hortonso with a rising
Inflection. "It would perhaps bo moro
to your credit If you felt ns much do
votlon to vespora ns you profess you
fool for mo."
"Oh. that's it, 1b K? Do you know,
I couldn't mako out what mado you
seem so standoffish whon I enmo In.
That's all, Isn't tt.-doar dearest?" It
wob rather hard In tho faco of Hor
tenso's prolonged frlgldnoBS to como
out with tho nowly-pormltted terms of
endearment, but Archibald wob mak
ing a great effort. "I novor know till
two hours beforo vespers and I tried
to get back In tlmo."
Hortenso'a oyes wero bright with
anger. "You needn't mako any ox
cusos," sho Bald, drawing from his out
stretched hand. "You could havo boon
man enough "
"Man enough! 'Why, Hortenso, I
thought I did tho manly thing. I
thought it was Just tho sort of thing
"Manly thing .to como In half an
hour lato to vespers! A llttlo absent
mindedness Isn't InoxcuBablo What,
you didn't forget? You did It on pur
poso? Walt till you explain? You
need mako no explanations, Mr.
"It was a small-matter," said Archi
bald, helplessly.
"A small matter to go fishing on
Sundny afternoon and not to got back
till vespers was half over! That was
a small matter, was It?"
Archibald dropped to his knees be
fore Hortenso. "Why on earth do you
think I was fishing?"
"Becauso you weren't clover enough
to conceal tho fact, I suppose"
"Hortenao, Hortenso," pleaded tho
rector. "Won't you think bettor of
mo? I wont out to help a poor wom
an whose baby was having fits and "
"Yes, nnd stoppod to fish on tho way
homo and forgot all about vespers. I
am sorry, Mr. Domaroat, but I would
rather end our friendship here."
Hortenso suddenly regained her
composuro and Archibald Jumped to
his feot as Molly camo Into tho draw
ing room.
"Please, sir," sho said, with n smile,
"Magglo Just united mo over tho
fence, could you Btop buck to tho rec
tory a mlnuto. Thoro Is a llttlo boy
there says you must havo took his
father's satchel of fish homo by mis
tako. He's got your black bag with
tho bandages in It, and says will you
please accept three of tho largest
trouts In tho catch and loavo him havo
tho rest?"
As n light of understanding broke
ovor Archibald's faco Molly added In
an naldo to Hortenso, "It's all right
about Mr, Domarest. Ho wasn't fish
ing nt all. You seo, Mr, Domarest,"
turning to tho clorgyman with a con
fidential air, "Magglo was suro whon
you brought homo tho hag of ilsli that
you had been off fishing, and sho told
mo and I told MIbb HortonBO."
(Copyright, 1913, by the IcCluro Nows
papor Syndicate.)
High Diplomacy.
Tho llttlo girl had boon bo out
rageously naughty that it was decid
ed that sho should not bo allowed to
attond tho party to which sho and
her sister had beon Invited. On tho
day of tho festivity tho mothor called
In person to pick up hor unoffending
daughter, and bring her homo again.
"Woll," Bho naked, "and did you ex
plain to Mr. B how naughty
Betty had been and how I kopt her
at home to punish hor?"
"Oh, no, maramlo," camo tho an
Hwer; "I didn't think that 'ud do. I
Just said she'd gono to a much bigger
Should Havo Southern Front and
Yards May Be Laid Off for In
dividual Pens If Desired.
A good poultry houso may bo built
after plans shown In tho drawing.
Such a houso mny bo mado any length
desired and partloned into six-foot
breeding pens, 1G foot deep, which
would glvo 7 1-3 square feo por bird
for ono malo nnd 12 females. Tho
houso should havo a cement or board
floor and can bo so built as to mako it
rat, wind nnd rnln proof. I profor
a floor of comont, wrltOB William Scott
of Abilene, Kan., la tho Farmers
Mall and Brcozo.
Tho house should front south and
yards may bo laid off for tho ubo of
Good for Several Uses.
individual pens If desired. This kind
of houso 1b also suitable for raising
early hatchod chicks.
Tho uppor windows aro hlngod so
thoy may bo swung opon at any do
slred angle or to bo hooked up as
tho weathor demands. The lowor
front is covered with ono-lnch mosh
wlro and a drop canvas or windows
may bo used. Tho window should bo
hung so as to swing In nt any Uostrod
nnglo. Roosts aro placed along tho
north wall. A slnglo roost running
tho length of tho building and sot
out two foot from tho north wall, may
bo mado to servo tho purposo.
A roost shlold for cold woathor can
bo mado of a frame tho longth of tho
roosts and two foot wldo, to bo col
ored with sound burlap on top and
BldoB. Placo this frumo six Inches
nbovo tho birds' hoads and lot tho
burlap hang n foot below tho roostB.
This fratno should bo drawn up out
of tho way oach morning.
If nests aro placo low enough not
many hens will lay on tho floor and It
Is ofton considered hotter still to placo
thorn right on tho floor. A screen
mado of burlap bo it will almost hldo
tho nosts mako thorn moro atractlvo
to tho bona and holps to provont egg
Job Should Be Performed at Least
Onco Every Month First Re
move All Combustlbleo.
To burn sulphur in a poultry houso
first rotnovo all combuBtlblo matter.
Thon put an old Iron kettlo Into n
dishpan and placo on four bricks In
tho mlddlo of tho houso. In tho 1'ot
tlo put somo cobs which havo boon
soaked In a solution of ono part of
plno tar to four parts of koroBeno,
aprtuklo tho sulphur ovor tho cobs
and sot on flro.
Bo suro to havo everything arranged
so as to beat a hasty retreat from
tho room and closo tho door quickly
ns tho sulphur fumos aro suffocating.
Sulphur burned in this manner will
pouotrato ovory crovlco na well nu
covortng tho surface and aids won
derfully In purifying tho building and
In destroying poultry vormln.
Ono pint of turpentine may bo add
ed to tho halt gallon of kerosono as
woll as tho plno tar with boneflclnl
results. Onco a month Is nono too
often to burn sulphur in every poultry
Never breod from lmmuaturo stock.
Ground bono Is groat for laying
Tho first symptoms of roup swol
len oyes.
Dampnoss and chilling moan sure
death to chicks.
Do not allow tho fowls to bo exposed
to tho strong winds,
Soft-Bhelled eggs aro a sign of lack
of Ilmo or of over-fending.
Scrub hens kopt by scrub poultry
men mako a bad combination,
Sifted ashes scattered under tbo
roosts mako an excellent absorbent.
Try hard novor to catch a hen by
tho wing or feathers; grab her by
tho" legs.
A llttlo granulated charcoal mixed
In tho soft feed Is excollent In cases
of diarrhoea.
If there aro cracks in tho walls of
tho houses, tho chilly. winds aro suro
to creato a draft,
Tho best way to run an, incubator
Is to follow tho directions that como
with tho machine.
Tho hen that will not scratch for
hor living Is too lazy to make you a
profit as a layer.
Leghorns mako poor sitters. Bat
ter not trust tho eggs to thorn. Thoy
aro better layers and foragers than
I',1 f ',' f' "'J u L K

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